Alex doesn't know how long they've been on the road. But after a while, with nothing else to focus on, he starts to feel the stitch in his side and the harshness in his lungs. His eyes water a bit as he tries to take subtle deep breaths. The air feels thin as he rests his head on the seat before him. Sweat starts to form on the back of his neck in his effort to stay calm. He hears himself let out a small whimper.

He jumps when a hand lays gently on his shoulder. Alex looks up to see Madison's stern expression staring down at him. Shit. The man glanced over at Jefferson, who's fiddling with the GPS, and Lee, who was driving steadily down the abandoned highway. Still, he spoke quietly, barely above a whisper, "How long have you been wearing it?"

Alex licked his lips, wincing, "A few days? Since Friday morning?"

"Goddammit, Hamilton." Madison sighed. Jefferson glanced over at them curiously, but was quickly engrossed in the GPS once more. Madison nodded over towards the bathroom at the back of the bus, "Go take it off. It's not healthy to wear it this long."

Alex's heart pounded faster than before as he looked at Jefferson and Lee. What if they figured it out? What if they asked Madison? Would he tell? Has he told anyone in the years that he's known? Alex wanted to protest, to pretend like he was fine, but his back was sore and he couldn't breathe. He knew Madison was right, he had to take it off. Silently, he nodded and stood up.

Madison didn't move out of the way just yet. Instead, he leaned in a little more, his lips almost brushing Alex's ear as he whispered, "Let me know if you need help."

Alex gave him a thankful smile and quickly made his way to the back of the bus.

The little bathroom they had was no larger than a closet. He could barely turn around in it, and each time the bus bounced too much, the slimy liquid in the makeshift toilet sloshed. The mirror was cracked, and there was no sink. But it was enough. It gave Alexander the privacy to do what he had to.

Even still, he was nervous as he slipped off his outer suit jacket. After a second of debate, he awkwardly sat it on the floor by his feet. There were no hooks or counters, and it will probably get dirty, anyway. His hands shook slightly as he loosened his tie. It didn't matter that the slightly-stuffy material was now sitting on his discarded jacket; he still felt as though he were choking. Alex avoided making eye-contact with his reflection as he unbuttoned his shirt. His fingers fumbled over some of the small buttons, but he was able to slip the material off his shoulders without much issue.

Alex steeled himself, and then risked a glance up in the mirror. He wasn't a very strong man. He was short, and had some pudge to him - thanks to Eliza's cooking. He certainly didn't look very manly right now; sweating and face red. He looked away before he thought too much about it. This had to be done, after all.

First, Alex dipped his fingers under the tight band of his binder, and he pulled it upward until it rose above his breasts. Then, he leaned forward, a bit painfully, and his hands scrabbled at his back, until he could pull the binder up and over his head. He let the white garment fall down in his growing pile of clothes.

Shaking, Alex took a deep breath for the first time in days. A soft whimpering noise escaped his lips as he stretched his sore muscles. He raised his arms above his head and groaned as his back popped. He froze and his face flushed darkly as he realized that the others were in the bus just behind the door. Fuck, they're going to figure it out. Alex's nails dug into his skin as he realized Eliza would have his head if she knew he'd worn it so long. That is… if she was still alive.

Hesitantly, Alex twisted around, checking himself in the mirror. He didn't think his ribs were misshapen or anything. He might've gotten lucky this time.

But Madison was right. He should spend a day or two without wearing it. His body needs rest. Alex ground his teeth together at the thought of being around all these strangers without his binder.

Alex spent a few minutes leaning against the wall, focusing on his breathing. It was easier, now that his chest wasn't constricted, but that didn't make it any less painful. His body hated him right now. That's what he gets, he supposes.

Slowly, Alex pulled his shirt back on, buttoning it up with shaking hands. He doesn't even have a bra. And his shirt was white. Great. He glanced at the door, wondering if Jefferson or Lee would notice. He put his suit jacket back on, just so he could possibly hide his chest behind it.

Awkwardly, he folded up his binder and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He wrapped his tie around his wrist, fiddling with the material anxiously. Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was okay. He could do this. This was no different than a lazy day with Eliza. Or before he got his binder. This is fine. No one will notice.

Alex was still nervous as he opened the bathroom door and walked back out to the seats. Madison caught his gaze and raised an eyebrow. Alex subtly gave him a thumbs-up, before going to sit in one of the empty seats. Madison seemed pleased. Alex tried to make himself as invisible as possible. As he looked out the window at the passing roads, he found it was only a little easier to breathe.

"Have you ever fired one of these?" Jefferson asked, holding up a pistol in front of Alex.

"Um… no." Alex admitted quietly. He had his suit wrapped around himself tightly, his arms in front of his chest. Madison was watching them from across the bus. "Out of everything I've done, shooting isn't one of them."

Jefferson didn't seem surprised, "Alright, well it's simple. You got your dominant hand high on the back strap - that's the handle. Your support hand wraps around like this." Alex watches intently as the man demonstrates clearly the proper hand positioning. His fingers were dark and long; nimble and experienced. Alex's ears darkened as he briefly imagined those fingers doing vulgar things. He had to admit, he was a bit glad he had some eyecandy to keep him entertained. "And we can't always do this, because we're running for our fucking lives, but you're supposed to stand like this, okay?"

Alex nodded as Jefferson stood with his legs apart, his knees bent. He raised his gun and points it towards one of the windows. "Okay."

"Always treat every gun as if it's loaded, got it?" Jefferson said, stiffly returning to normal standing, "I don't need you blowing off one of our asses because you thought it was empty."

"That one's kinda obvious." Alex muttered.

Jefferson cocked his head towards Lee, "You'd be surprised."

Madison moved to stand beside them, saying, "And always get us for help. If there's zombies around, don't try to be a hero. We're in this together, alright?"

Jefferson scoffed and handed Alex the pistol. "Just don't waste too many bullets."

"One's more than enough." Alex muttered to himself, rolling the gun in his hands a bit.

Jefferson glared at Madison, "Yeah, great addition to the team."

The taller man slowly walked over to one of the empty seats, sitting far enough away that he was out of earshot. Madison sighed and ran a hand across his neck, "How are you taking all this?"

"How do you think I'm taking it, Madison?" Alex asked, setting the pistol down in the seat behind him, so he wouldn't accidentally set it off or something. "I leave work one day to discover that the world I know is gone forever. Nothing matters anymore, because, because it's become fucking World War Z overnight!"

Madison sighed and nodded, like this wasn't the first time he'd had this conversation. He gestured for Alex to sit down, and the man did, but it did little to ease his tension. Madison sat next to him, pulling out his handkerchief. He handed it to Alex as he said, "I get it. What you're feeling right now, we've all been through it."

"I have no idea where my family is." Alex whispered, pressing the handkerchief to his lips. "They were in Maine before this started… visiting Eliza's father…"

"They didn't try to contact you before the phone lines went down?" Madison asked.

"My phone was off." Alex admitted. "I didn't want to get distracted."

Madison chuckled softly. "You're one interesting man, Alexander."

Alex was quiet for a long moment, his gaze drifting out of focus as he thought about his wife and children. "They're dead, aren't they?"

Madison's smile fell, his mouth twisting thoughtfully. "I can't promise you they're alive. But I can't guarantee they're dead, either."

If this were any other time, in any other situation, Alex would have rolled his eyes at how vague Madison was being. He'd call the man out for being too political, instead of just answering the question. But right now, Alex wasn't thinking about any of that. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and looked over to Madison's grim expression, "And your family?"

Madison sighed, "I don't know if it's preferable or not... But I only saw Dolley after... She had been shot in the head. I didn't see her get bit and change. I only saw the corpse. So…" He shrugged, blinking back tears, "There's that."

Alex glanced over at Jefferson, "And him?"

"Thomas wasn't as lucky." Madison said, lowering his voice. "He had to do the job himself."

Alex almost didn't bother asking about Lee. He really didn't care what that man had to go through. But curiosity got the best of him, "What about Lee?"

Madison shrugged, "Don't know. When I ran into him, he was alone. Terrified. He begged me and Thomas to take him with us. We needed an extra pair of hands, so we agreed. He hasn't told us anything, but I think he abandoned his family. Thought he could do better on his own."

Alex shook his head quietly, his fingers rubbing against the cloth in his hands. His body felt cold at the thought. He abandoned his family, too. Didn't he? Eliza asked for him to go with them, and he refused. Sure, it may have been unintentional. But he was no better than Lee.

His family was dead. That's all there was to it. They were either dead, or zombies. Alex was briefly thankful he wasn't wearing his binder, trying not to cry while being unable to breathe didn't sound like a good combination.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye." Alex whispered, his hands shaking.

Madison put an arm around him, "I know. It sucks, but this is the world we live in now. Be glad we found you; otherwise that hoard would be picking you out of their teeth."

Alex scoffed, "I'd prefer that."

Lee shouted from the front suddenly, "Truck stop up ahead - we wanna check it?"

"How we doing on fuel?" Madison asked, standing up. His soft tone was gone, his shoulders tight. He was all business now. Alex was almost impressed by the instant change in demeanor. Madison was a good politician, when they worked together. But he wasn't much of a leader. He put in his thoughts and he sometimes debated points, but he wasn't like this. Powerful, confident, unopposed. Alex didn't know how he did it. He was falling apart, while Madison was thriving. It all felt backwards, but right, somehow.

"Less than half." Lee replied.

Jefferson sat up straighter in his seat, "We can't risk it."

"We have to." Madison said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Half a tank won't get us far. We get in, we get out. No messing around, alright Thomas?"

Jefferson grumbled, but nodded. He started loading one of his guns as he said, "Who's on first?"

"What's on second." Madison replied, "Lee and I will check for gas. You and Alex go inside."

Alex shot Jefferson a concerned look. The man didn't appear pleased about this arrangement, he hissed at Madison, "Seriously, James? You want the new guy with me? That's too many variables."

"Don't be stupid and watch each other's backs." Madison said, patting Jefferson's cheek condescendingly, "You'll be fine."

"Kiss my fat, black ass." Jefferson grumbled, swatting Madison's hand away.

"Later, darling." Madison replied, quickly loading a shotgun, "Now, it's showtime."

The truck stop almost looked normal, except for all the deserted cars everywhere. Two vans had crashed into each other in the parking lot, while off to the side there were rows of semis with broken windows.

"Looks like it's already been jacked." Lee commented as he parked the bus in the middle of the road.

"Still gotta try." Madison said, not moving his gaze away from the empty building. His eyes were quick and calculating, scanning for any signs of zombies. "It's all we can do."

The bus was stopped, but Lee didn't open the door. No one moved. Alex glanced between the three men, confused. "...What are we waiting for?"

Jefferson had his gun up, looking through the scope. His voice was quiet as he said, "The early bird."

"Noise of the bus engine would probably get a few zombies excited. They'll come looking." Madison explained, "If none show up in a minute, we can go."

It was the longest minute of Alex's life. He stood stiff, his heart pounding uncontrollably as he watched for movement between the semis. Lee was twitching, his fingers gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. The engine was still running, and he had a foot resting on the gas pedal, ready to shift gears and go.

Finally, Madison spoke, "Okay. Set your watches, eight minutes. No longer, understood, Thomas?"

"Yeah, I fucking got it, mom." Jefferson grumbled, fiddling with the watch on his wrist. Alex didn't have a watch, he awkwardly played with his pistol.

Madison gave the signal, and Lee opened the bus' doors. The three other men moved quickly, guns raised and watches counting. Alex jogged after Jefferson, his breathing shallow. Madison and Lee expertly disappeared between the semis, gas containers in hand. Alex stumbled when he heard gunshots, but Jefferson didn't seem concerned, so they continued on their own path.

Jefferson led the way to the convenience store. He paused outside the glass door, holding up a hand as he peered through the window. Alex stumbled to a stop beside him, kicking gravel in his way. Jefferson shot him a glare, and Alex sheepishly looked away.

Jefferson quickly opened the door and ducked into the store. Alex scrambled after him, his pistol down by his side. Jefferson effectively scouted the dark building, his gun pointed towards the dark corners. Alex didn't see anything, and once Jefferson decided it was relatively safe, he lowered his gun slightly.

"Okay." He said, coming back to stand by Alex, "Grab anything that looks valuable."

Alex frowned, "Like … jewelry?"

Jefferson rolled his eyes, "No, stupid. Like food, any kind of weapon, blankets, shit like that." He shoved a fist-full of plastic bags into Alex's chest. Alex yelped and jumped back, clutching his suit jacket against himself, his face red. Jefferson immediately whipped around, his gun raised. He relaxed when no zombies immediately came running. He growled and turned back to Alex, "And be quiet, dammit."

It took Alex a minute to move from his spot by the door. Jefferson didn't say anything. Alex was just freaking out over nothing. He's fine. He's fine. Alex quickly moved to the other side of the convenience store, letting Jefferson scope out his side.

Stepping over trash and debris, Alex looked up and down the isles. Most stuff was already taken. But there were a few things that caught Alex's eye. There was a lone red Gatorade that was laid on the floor. Alex set down his gun to pick up the drink. After inspection, Alex decided it was unopened and worth keeping. He tucked it into his plastic bag and continued slowly walking.

A single light flickered over a clothing rack. The soft buzz of electricity was the only sound, aside form Alex's footsteps. Alex's steps sped up a little as he saw them. A holy grail of stitched cloth and fabric. He never thought he'd be so happy for clothes, of all things (binders excluded), but he felt his heart lighten at the thought of getting out of this suit. If he was really lucky, there might be a bra? No, what kind of truck stop has bras on hand? What's the ratio of female-to-male truckers? It doesn't matter anymore, focus Alex.

For some reason, no one thought to take all the college sweaters and tourist shirts. Things that say "I Heart NYC" and "Brooklyn Bitch", even though they were a bit of a drive away from Brooklyn. Alex found a grey NYC shirt and a dark green hoodie that had an apple on it. He shoved them into his plastic bag and continued to look through the rack. It'd be good to have more than just two (three, counting the button up he was already wearing) shirts. He ended up grabbing another sweater, but all the other shirts were smalls and wouldn't work well with Alex's unfortunate chest situation. He'd need mediums, at least.

From over the isles, Alex could see Jefferson messing with something by the cash registers. Alex watched him for a second as his face lit up with excitement. There certainly were uglier people to be stuck in an apocalypse with.

Got over Eliza real quick, didn't ya?

Guilt shot through Alex as he quickly looked away. Fuck, his wife was dead. His wife, the love of his life, is, she's -

A dark growl made Alex's blood shoot cold as he turned around and saw the dark, snarling face of a teenager. She was wearing what must've been the truck stop's logo on her torn shirt. Her lone eye locked with Alex's and he quickly looked around for his gun. His gun, where's his gun?!

The girl limped forward, her foot was twisted in an awkward angel and her left hand was missing fingers. She reached out for him, and Alex jumped backwards, crashing into an empty display case.

He tripped and landed hard on the floor, his back hitting the tile with a loud thunk. He hissed in pain, momentarily distracted from the growling, spitting face of the animalistic creature. Alex snapped out of it and screamed, desperately trying to scoot backwards, but he was cornered between the isles. The girl leaped forward, arms outstretched, Alex closed his eyes and braced himself for his end.

BANG BANG!

Two gunshots split the air, followed by a sickening thump as a limp body fell to the ground next to Alex. The man looked up to see an annoyed Jefferson staring down at him, gun in hand. He held up Alex's pistol and coldly said, "You keep this with you at all times. Don't put it down. Ever."

Alex numbly nodded, taking the gun from him. He slowly stood up, his eyes on the dead zombie's body. Nausea burned in the back of his throat as he stood on shaky knees. He gun in his hand felt heavy.

"Come on, let's go." Jefferson said, "This place doesn't have nothing good, and we're running out of time."

Alex nodded and gripped his plastic bags and his pistol like his life depended on it. Soon they were ducking out of the store, running across the parking lot. The bus doors were open, and Lee was sitting behind the wheel, shoulders tense. Jefferson stumbled slightly, but didn't fall, catching himself on the side of the bus. He jumped onto the stairs just as his watch went off, beeping. Alex climbed in after him, the doors shutting quickly behind him.

As soon as the doors were closed, Lee was barreling down the road, sending Jefferson crashing down in the isle.

"Goddammit, Lee!" Jefferson hissed, furiously sitting up.

Alex snorted, even as he leaned heavily against the seats, panting, "You have no balance."

"Fuck you, you ratty little midget!" Jefferson's anger turned to Alex, who only shook his head, still exhausted from running. God, why'd they run so fast anyway? Nothing was chasing them. It seemed like an important question, so he asked it. Jefferson was rubbing his left thigh through his jeans, still angry.

Lee was the one who answered, "Time limit. If you're not back before the watches go off, we're leaving without you."

"Why?" Alex asked, "It looked pretty safe, aside from that one inside. We could've taken our time."

Lee shook his head, not taking his eyes off the abandoned road, "We can't risk it like that. What if a hoard of zombies just jumps out from nowhere, and we were unprepared because we thought we were safe? Get in, get out, make it back before time's up. That's how you stay alive."

Jefferson froze suddenly, his head snapping up, "Where's James?!"

"Right here, Thomas. Don't worry." A voice came from behind them. They turned to see Madison shifting through the piles of supplies.

"What's with the silent treatment, man?" Jefferson asked, still sitting on the floor. "Thought I'd have to stab Lee and go back for you."
"Sorry, darling." Madison said, picking up a map, "I was lost in thought. We're only at three-fourths tank, and we're not going to keep getting lucky with abandoned vehicles. We'll have to figure out an alternative eventually."

Jefferson shrugged, which was awkward, considering how twisted his body was at the moment. "I don't know, we'll burn that bridge when we get there."

Madison nodded in agreement, folding the map up for now. "Well, what'd you get?"

"Help me up." Jefferson said. Alex stepped forward, holding out his hand, only to get swat at, "No, not you! James."

Madison sighed as he moved to stand behind Jefferson. He wrapped his arms under Jefferson's armpits and pulled, as Jefferson pushed himself off the floor, his knees shaking slightly. Madison stayed close to him, even after he stood up straight. Jefferson leaned against the shorter man, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. They shared a look, having a silent conversation. Madison raised his eyebrow, and Jefferson sighed dramatically before sitting down in an empty seat.

"There ain't much. I got a few batteries, who knows how long they'll last, though." Jefferson said as he pulled his plastic bags over. "I got a shitton of lighters. Five, I think."

"Good." Madison praised, running a hand through Jefferson's hair. "Anything else?"

"More maps. Lots of magazines." Jefferson shifted through his bag, thinking.

Alex interrupted, "Why do we need magazines?"

Jefferson barely bothered to glance at him before shaking his head. Madison answered for him, "You can burn them. To start fires."

"I also have a box of poptarts, a pair of flip flops, and a hair brush." Jefferson said, finally looking up from his supplies. "I think that's it."

Madison nodded thoughtfully, "That'll have to be enough. We're already better off than others, with what you grabbed from the farm. But the food won't last. We'll need more than some old poptarts."

Jefferson nodded, tilting his head further into Madison's touch. He was quiet for a second, before his face lit up and he exclaimed, "OH! Also, I found some of these!"

Alex watched as the man pulled something from his back pocket. His brow furrowed when he saw the small, circular packages. From the driver's seat, Lee asked, "What are they?"

"Condoms." Madison said, his tone carefully blank. "Thomas grabbed condoms."

Jefferson was still looking awfully proud of himself, until Alex asked, "But… why?"

Maybe there was some creative purpose for keeping condoms? Like with the magazines? Maybe they could be used as bandages or something? Alex didn't know.

The man's gaze darted between the other three, his face growing red, "Because, like, you know, what if we have to repopulate the world or something?"

"One, none of us are chicks." Lee said, "Two, that's fucking gay."

Alex didn't like how he said that. Either of those. But the first one had him a bit more bothered than the second for the moment. His gaze anxiously shifted to Madison, who wasn't looking at him. Would he tell?

Instead of outing Alex, James' hand moved from Jefferson's hair to his shoulder, as he asked bluntly, "Thomas. How would condoms help repopulate the earth? Those two are very contradictory statements."

Jefferson's blush darkened and he shoved his condoms back into his pocket, "Alright, well, when we meet a hot survivor chick, I'm not sharing."

Madison was grinning as he said, "Sure, Tom."

"What the fuck did you grab, newbie?" Jefferson growled, turning the attention to Alexander.

Alex blinked in surprise, before saying, "Oh, just some-"

Jefferson snatched the plastic bag out of his hands, looking into it. Alex is suddenly glad that he didn't find a bra. He could only imagine the ridicule he'd get from the other man. Jefferson glanced up at him with an unimpressed expression, "Wow, three hoodies and a gatorade. Well done, you've saved us all."

"It was all I could find." Alex said, wrapping his suit jacket around himself. He snatched the bag back, "And excuse me, but I was kinda looking for clothes above all else."

Madison nodded in approval, "A suit would certainly get annoying after a while. Especially since you've been wearing it since friday."

"Yeah, I've already lost my tie." Alex said, looking under the seats, "I don't know where that went."

"Next time find some pants." Jefferson said, his eyes watching the trees out the windows, "And long socks."

Even though the words were directed to Alex, it was Madison who nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

Alex held up his gatorade, "Where do I put this?"

"Third seat to the back, on the left." Madison said, "That's our drinks seat. While your back there, you can change out of that button-up if you want."

Alex awkwardly shook his head, "Oh, I'll just, uh, wait til tomorrow. The sun's setting… I'll just sleep in this for now."

"If you insist." Madison shrugged.

"Who's on first?" Jefferson asked, from around his yawn.

"What's on second." Madison replied running his hand through Jefferson's curls again. "Me and Lee. You sleep, we'll wake you when it's your watch."

Jefferson nodded, wrapping his arms across himself. Alex took that moment to stand up and put the gatorade away. As he was walking to the back of the bus, he heard Madison say quietly, "And Thomas? Take it off."

"Fuck you, I'm fine." Jefferson grumbled.

"This isn't up for debate." Madison replied.

There was a long pause. Alex set his gatorade down by a box of water bottles. He pretended to be busy counting their supplies. Finally, Jefferson said, "I'll do it tomorrow. Promise."

Briefly, Alex wondered what they could have been talking about. But, he got distracted when he saw the way Jefferson leaned up to kiss Madison's cheek. Lee gagged from the front seat, but thankfully didn't comment further. Alex felt a shiver run down his spine. Maybe he was in somewhat good company afterall?

Madison made his way to the back of the bus, "Pick a free seat and get settled. This is your only chance to sleep before your watch."

Alex nodded and found a seat a few behind Jefferson's. When he sunk down into the cushions, he had some semblance of privacy. The cheap cushions were itchy, but it was better than some school bus. He really didn't have much room to complain, given the conditions. Still, as he closed his eyes, he imagined the feel of his wife's arms around him, and his son's laughter in his ears. He was thankful that he had mastered the skill of the silent cry as a child.

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