Alright here's the latest. Thanks so so much Bookworm, Zarqa and lipamo for the reviewage! This chapter was a fun one to write. Hope it's good to read too. More to follow soon!
"Alright Jill, that was excellent advice for Maya. Anyone have other suggestions to contribute?" the group leader asked, turning to glance at Brody and Nathaniel's side of the circle.
"Gentleman, I know it's your first time with us but if you'd like to share please, feel free."
"Thanks," Brody said, but opted to stay quiet. Rolling his eyes Nathaniel gave him a nudge.
"You haven't said a goddamn word! What would Nan be saying?"
Rolling his eyes now, Brody leaned over. "Something inappropriate or too fucking forward, I'm sure." he hissed. Crossing his arms his father did the same.
"Group's almost through, Nick. I thought you'd at least try to get some use out of it."
"Nobody expects you to say anything until the second or third meeting anyway."
"Yeah, assuming you get there," Nathaniel scoffed before something caught Brody's eyes across the room. Staring intently he sat up.
"What is it? What...oh."
Shaking his head Nathaniel snorted, seeing Carrie try to quietly slip in through the church basement entrance. When she smiled at Brody he smiled back, his eyes misting up.
"Hey," Nathaniel hissed, leaning over. "I get you haven't seen her in awhile but settle down. There's people around."
Seeing people sitting on either side of Brody, Carrie settled on a chair across the way from him. Took a seat.
"Thank you for joining us tonight, ma'am." the group leader said in a soft drawl. "Would you mind sharing your name with us? First is fine."
"Carrie," she introduced. "My name's Carrie."
"Alright, Carrie. My name's Albie," he smiled, getting one in return.
"Would you mind sharing with us now what brought you here tonight?"
"I...well, I don't..." Biting her lip, not expecting to be put on the spot Carrie swallowed hard. Eyes darting around as Brody cleared his throat.
"I'd actually like to say something, Albie," he piped up.
"Alright, great!" Albie said as Brody nodded, sat forward. Giving him a grateful smile Carrie sat back.
"Since I returned home, I've hurt people I've cared about. People who were only trying to help me. I thought what I endured justified my actions but it didn't. I know that now. There's someone who's been a constant in my life since I got back," Brody said, glancing across the circle.
"This woman has pushed me, comforted me, kept an eye on me. She's gotten me to admit things out loud that I couldn't even admit to myself. Because of her I feel like I'm a good person again. Without her there's no way I'd be here, that I'd have a chance at a decent future. I owe her everything. And I hope she knows that. That I never give her a reason to doubt it ever again."
"Brody..." Carrie whispered, blinking back tears.
"Why would she have doubted something like that?" Maya asked curiously.
"Because I'm a guy. Fucking up comes pretty natural to us," Brody shrugged, getting some laughs.
"I've mishandled a lot. But I'm working to make it right. Besides, I've got more than just her as a constant. We have a family together that's dependent on me. I've disrespected family before. I was too wrapped up in myself to even think about the people I affected after I came home. And made too many mistakes to even try to make right with my kids. I'm not about to let something like that happen again."
"You sound very determined, Nick," Albie piped up. "If you feel though that you're losing faith in yourself we're here to help," he said as the group nodded, smiled in agreement.
"Does anyone else want to share something based off of what Nick said, or offer him some advice?"
"I'd actually like to..." Carrie cut in, awkwardly raising her hand. "It's not advice, but..."
"It's fine, go ahead," Albie encouraged.
Nodding she took a breath, spoke.
"It's been awhile since my last stint overseas. The losses I endured over there weren't anything compared to what people here have endured. But they still did some damage. Because of what I saw and my own struggles, letting anything in aside from my job was a foreign concept. I never let anyone get close until someone crossed my path and didn't give me much of a choice. We've hurt each other. But we've both been hurt before. Seen things we never should've fucking had to. Because of our experiences, in spite of our problems, our pasts, we fit. The thought of losing that, having that come close to happening more than once. It scares me. Same way this person used to scare me," she admitted.
"In spite of that though, in spite of how I felt and how we both screwed up. How we're both screwed up. I feel like we've got something between us that's more important, more meaningful than any of that. I think we were put here so our paths would cross. And yeah, I know how crazy that sounds," she shrugged as Brody leaned forward in his chair.
"Are you finished?" he cut in.
"Hey! What the fuck are you..." Nathaniel hissed as Carrie frowned, looked at him incredulously.
"Yeah! I'm finished," she said curtly. "Why-"
"Because I don't think that sounds crazy at all," Brody said. Getting to his feet he crossed the circle to move in front of her. Helping her to her feet he smiled, stroked her hair.
"I think that sounds like the only fucking sane thing left to hold onto," he said softly. Chin quivering Carrie looked down, away from him before he pulled her into a hug, eliciting a chorus of 'awwws', applause from the group and a snort from Nathaniel.
"Fine, just turn the whole damn thing into a fucking free for all," he muttered, rolling his eyes as a woman shifted one chair over so Brody could sit beside Carrie.
"Not gonna sit by me anymore? Pfft. Fine, who needs you anyway."
After the meeting drew to a close and the group stood, started filing out, Nathaniel crossed the room to where Brody was still seated.
"Dad. I'm sorry I ruined the meeting for-"
"It's alright, no harm done. I'll catch the next one," Nathaniel shrugged. "Anyway I'm heading to the bar. Meet me over there if you can rouse that one," he snorted, nodding to Carrie who was sound asleep on Brody's shoulder.
"I'll see what I can do," Brody said, arm still around her as he kissed the top of her head. Not noticing Albie approach.
"Nick, I don't mean to disturb but I gotta lock up."
"Yeah I figured. Can you give us a few minutes? She hasn't been sleeping well, it may take a second for me to get her-"
"That's fine. I gotta get the refreshment table put away anyway."
After Albie crossed the room, took down the table before bringing it elsewhere, Brody shook Carrie's shoulder.
"Carrie? C'mon love. Show me those eyes."
Frowning, letting out a soft groan her eyes slowly blinked open. "What happened? What-"
"You conked out about twenty minutes ago. Didn't have the heart to wake you."
"Shit," Carrie sighed, running a hand over her face as she shook her head, smiled.
"What's so funny?"
"There's a reason I don't go to the same meeting twice," she laughed, but only got a smile that soon faded out. Her's fading too she looked at him curiously.
"What's wrong?"
"How much sleep have you had this past week?"
When she snorted, rolled her eyes his narrowed. "I have a right to ask, Carrie. For Christ's sake, you broke out of the fucking hospital!"
"It wasn't the first time," Carrie scoffed.
"What made you do it? Where did you even go?" he asked as she stood up. Folding her arms over her chest she looked down, away from him.
"Carrie, can you please just tell me. I don't-"
"It was fucking childish. I know that," she snapped. "I just got upset. I needed to leave!"
"Couldn't you have just talked to Abby? Insisted on seeing me? Saul? Couldn't you have called Maggie?"
"I wanted to see her! And Farrah. But I got to the house and they were all at the cabin. I didn't want to call and have them rush back! Risk scaring the girls."
Nodding in understanding, Brody sighed. "That wasn't childish. You've been worried about Farrah for weeks, of course you'd want to see her," he said, feeling guilty for not making it happen himself.
"But after I found out I couldn't I didn't just come back to the hospital! I kept running. And I know that I shouldn't have. I know it was wrong."
"Look, if you were upset about something I'm the last person who can pass judgement about taking off. I just want to know where you went and why you did it. That's all, Carrie."
Nodding, after a beat she spoke.
"I took Danny's ID from Maggie's, and I went to-"
"Langley?" Brody sputtered. "Why?"
"I wanted to go someplace familiar. Comfortable."
"A government building with armed guards everywhere you look?" he scoffed, getting a glare.
"I had a life there before I even knew about you, Brody. A life I didn't fucking mind at all!" Carrie reminded as he nodded, sighed.
"I know you did. And I'm sorry, I...I understand, I do."
"Yeah?" she asked, arching a brow.
"Yeah."
"Why the conflicted look then?"
Sitting back down on the closest chair, sitting forward he wrung his hands, glanced down at his shoes.
"Did I do something to set you off? Make you upset?"
"What? Brody..."
"When I was out of it. Did I start screaming? Bruise your arm again?"
"Jesus. No, Brody. That didn't happen," Carrie insisted, sitting beside him.
"Well then what was it that made you upset enough to leave? I know you were in my room. I know you were worried. So why..."
When he trailed off and looked up at her, a questioning look in his eyes Carrie bit her lip. Stayed standing.
"It doesn't matter. It-"
"It fucking matters to me, Carrie," he said firmly. "Look, what did we just get through saying to each other in here? Were those just empty words from you or did they actually mean something?"
"Of course they fucking meant something!" she shouted. Shaking her head she sighed, sat back down.
"I had a conversation with someone at the hospital."
"Who was she?"
"I didn't say it was a-"
"It was though, wasn't it?"
When she nodded, confirmed his suspicion it took everything in him not to throw a chair at the wall. Needing to do something though he reached over, squeezed her hand tight.
"Look, whatever Nancy said-"
"How did you know it was her?"
"I just know, okay? Look, whatever bullshit she fed you-"
"You don't want to know what she said?"
"No, I don't." Brody said coldly. "It doesn't matter. Whatever she did or said she's fucking wrong, okay? I don't trust her further than I can throw her. She's looking for problems that aren't there and and she needs to stay away. She's obsessed with me."
Met with a snort he frowned. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just not that long ago you said the same about me. And look where we fucking are!"
When Carrie gestured to her bump he rolled his eyes.
"For Christ's sake, Carrie. That was different. Nancy's taken a sick interest in me for one reason or another. I told her to back off."
"Like you told me to in the parking lot?" Carrie scoffed. "Maybe Nancy can get arrested on your lawn too!"
When she snorted, got to her feet again, kicking himself for the way he'd been handling this entire exchange, Brody stood, rested his hands on her shoulders. She flinched, shied away but he stuck close.
"Look, you can draw all the comparisons you want. But the kind of attention Nancy's offering isn't the kind I want. There's a difference, Carrie."
Leaning into his touch when he started rubbing out a knot in her neck, Carrie smiled.
"There is a difference, huh?"
"Oh yes," Brody chirped. Her smile going sly Carrie turned around.
"How big a difference?" she asked coyly, pressing herself against him as he grinned, pulled her as close as he could.
"A really big difference."
Leaning in, kissing her, smiling under it Carrie it more passionate. Her hands going to his shirt buttons while he nipped at her earlobe, nuzzled her neck. Hearing footsteps though Brody pulled back, caught his breath.
"We have to go."
"Why?"
"'Cause unless you want us getting started with an audience in a fucking church basement-"
"Hey!" Albie shouted.
"Oh, shit. GO!" Carrie ordered, laughing as Brody quickly obeyed, grabbed her arm before they took off out the door and to the stairwell.