Alex was flicking through one of the many magazines that Jefferson had grabbed. He was trying to figure out which Disney prince was his soulmate, when Lee said something that made his blood run cold.

"Damn, look at that water. You guys ready for a bath?"

Alex gaze shot to the others, who didn't seem anything strange about this question, then to the large river passing by outside their windows. Madison's expression was thoughtful as he considered their options. "We might still be too close to New York."

"We've been driving for three days, it'll be fine." Jefferson replied from where he was sitting on one of the seats. Even as he said this, he looked out the windows at the passing brush, wondering if a zombie was waiting there.

Madison pursed his lips, "We shouldn't risk it. If we haven't gotten infected yet, we're probably not carrying anything. We've spent too much time in New York, and we-"

Jefferson shook his head, standing up in the aisle, "Don't fight me on this, James Madison Jr.. Your immune system is shit; we should stay as clean as we can. It's been nearly two weeks since our last bath, we need this."

Alex saw the muscles in Madison's jaw twitch. His voice was hard as he told Lee, "Pull over."

The bus started to slow to a low rumble as they neared a bridge. Alex stood up, looking to Madison, "Uh - what's happening?"

"Jefferson's a pussy." Lee called from the front, "He can't handle a little dirt."

Alex glanced over to Jefferson, who was ignoring Lee completely.

"Whenever we reach a suitable river or lake, we wash our clothes." Madison explained, glaring at Jefferson over his shoulder. "Thomas believes it helps us not get infected."

Jefferson pushed Alex out of the way so he could hiss, "It's the 1340's. The black plague has killed millions of Europeans, do you want to be Italy or Poland?"

Madison didn't reply, continuing to scowl. Alex curiously spoke up, "Poland?"

"That's right." Jefferson said, sounding a bit surprised. He glanced at Alex for half a second before glaring back at Madison. "Wanna know why? Wanna know why a sixty percent of Europe's population died, but Poland was spared?"

Madison crossed his arms, clearly this wasn't his first time listening to this. He was grumbling as he said, "Because the Polish bathed."

"Because the Polish bathed." Jefferson confirmed, nodding. "So we're gonna do the same thing, got it?"

Alex frowned, racking his brain for everything he knew about the black death. "Wait a second. The Polish were affected by the plague, just not as much as the rest of Europe. And it wasn't as bad because the King quarented the kingdom at the borders, keeping the infected people out. And they didn't have as many rats in Poland, because of a lack of food. And there weren't as many people in the kingdom for the disease to spread." He counted the facts off on his hand. "Bathing didn't have much to do with it."

Lee laughed loudly from the front seat, slapping his hands on the wheel, "I never thought I'd like to hear Hamilton's big mouth, but damn, he told you!"

Jefferson looked ready to kill. Alex would be intimidated, if it weren't for the small twitch of his lips creeping upward. He was impressed. The taller man sneered down at Alex, "You can't deny that staying clean isn't healthy."

"No, I can't." Alex agreed, "But you can't claim that Poland only survived because of soap."

Jefferson looked him up and down, his eyes dark, "You worked with Jemmy, yeah? A politician?"

"Yes." Alex replied. He puffed his chest out in pride; unworried about showing anything, since he was wearing his binder today. "A speechwriter, for the most part. But I was also a lawyer."

"Fascinating." Jefferson drawled, sounding utterly unimpressed. "Then how do you know shit like that?" He nodded to the others, "Those two just believed me."

Alex shrugged, "I'm a curious man. I enjoy learning. You?"

"I was a history of the world professor at the University of Virginia." Jefferson said, "I teach a class on plagues and genocides."

Alex scratched at his neck, "Any chance you studied apocalypse theory?"

Jefferson's lip did that twitchy thing again. "Unfortunately not."

Madison was speaking to Lee now, "This is still the Hudson, yeah?"

"Yup." Lee popped the 'p' as he said that. "We'll probably reach Albany in tomorrow, if we don't stop for any more stupid shit."

"We'll want to go around that completely. Who knows what the military has done to Albany." Madison said, more to himself than to Lee. He pointed to a spot right before a bridge. "Stop right there."

Alex's fingers were itching at his sides, his eyes wide, "Uh, is it even safe to swim in the Hudson?"

"Doesn't stop kids every summer." Jefferson grumbled as he walked back to them. "You never swam in a river when you were little?"

Alex laughed nervously, "What? Yeah? Who doesn't?"

Madison tilted his head, watching Alex carefully. "Tom, make sure we're clear."

Jefferson glanced between the two of them before shuffling past Alex, raising his gun. He looked through his scope out the windows. Alex only turned to Madison when he was sure both Lee and Jefferson were busy.

Madison didn't beat around the bush, he said quietly, "They don't know, and they won't. We bath in turns. We'll be watching your back while you'll be hidden under the bridge."

Alex shook his head, his voice a bit hoarse, "That - that's not the problem. I mean, it is, but I don't - I just -"

Madison put his hand on Alex's shoulder, saying seriously, "Listen, you have to be completely honest with me. I can't help you if you don't help me. What's wrong?"

Alex took a deep breath, his body shaking under Madison's hand, "I'm scared, James."

James' eyes widened a bit at the use of his first name, but nodded slightly. "You don't have to be. You have three pairs of eyes, making sure no zombie sneaks up on you."

"No, not that…" Alex couldn't find his breath, his chest too tight and his mind running too fast. He barely noticed how James gently sat him down. The taller man then knelt between Alex's knees, so he was looking up at him.

"Breathe, Alex." James whispered. Alex closed his eyes and nodded, taking in sharp breaths through his nose. "If it's not the zombies, or the others finding out, what has you so upset?"

With a shaking hand, Alex raised a three fingers to his chin, tapping them against his lips. James bit his lip, thinking, "Do you want water to drink, or is it the water that's the problem?"

Whimpering quietly, Alex held up two fingers.

"Okay..." James said, clearly thinking. A hand landed on Alex's knee as James stood up. "Okay. I'll figure something out. You stay here and breathe, alright?"

James walked over to Jefferson, who was obviously watching them. Jefferson glanced away, looking back out his scope. James whispered into Jefferson's ear. Whatever he said had Jefferson scowling, but he reluctantly nodded.

James did the same thing with Lee, although he didn't get near as close with him. Lee shook his head, yelling, "Aw, fuck no!"

Alex flinched, looking up at the harsh noise. Everyone was looking at him, and he couldn't focus. His hands clenched at loose fabric of his sweater sleeves. Jefferson's eyes were wide; James looked pissed; but not as much as Lee. It's his fault, it's his fault, he shouldn't have said anything, he should have just -

"I'm not bathing with none of you fags!" Lee yelled. "That's not how we do things here!"

"If you don't like it, you can leave and try your luck on your own." James said with the calm kind of anger that was far more terrifying than any yelling ever would be. "But there's four of us now, and we're running out of time. We don't have the luxury of privacy anymore."

Alex eyes desperately landed on James, who was in the middle of an intense glare-off with Lee. Jefferson crossed his arms and spoke up, "James is right. So either get with the program, or get bit."

Lee huffed, but wisely shut up. James nodded and turned to look at Alex. He still couldn't breathe, but there was a familiarity in James' eyes. He knew this man. They used to be friends. Whatever he had planned, Alex knew he could trust him. Alex closed his eyes and forced his shoulders to relax.

James started speaking, his voice clearly coming out throughout the bus, "We'll split up into pairs. The other two will stand by the bus and keep watch. We get as clean as we can, as quick as we can. You don't come down to the water's edge unless you hear screaming. Understood?"

Jefferson nodded his head, while Lee angrily kicked a seat. There was a second of silence, before Jefferson asked, "Who's on first?"

"What's on second." James replied, "You and Lee will bathe first. Alex and I will watch."

Jefferson and Lee immediately disagreed.

"Oh hell no! I don't want to be the water while his fucking gay ass jacks off!"

"Jemmy, I thought you loved me, how could you do this?"

James raised his voice just slightly, but it was enough to shut them both up, "The longer you spend complaining, the more time you waste. We need to get out of New York as soon as possible, and this is not helping. I'm not changing what I said. With zombies walking the earth, is this really the worst thing in the world you'll be forced to do? No. So suck it up."

Jefferson looked down and away, his legs shaking suddenly. He leaned back against one of the seats, his eyes distant. Lee's shoulders tightened a little as his eyes grew distant.

Alex and James were watching each other as James asked, "Is everyone okay with that?"

"I'm not." Lee growled.

Silently, Alex nodded. He could do it, if he wasn't alone. James would help him. That was his solution. He really was a good friend. It sucks that they drifted apart.
"Great. Let's go, we're burning daylight." James said, pushing past Lee to grab his gun.

Alex and James stood just outside the bus, guns in their hands. They watched the cities in the distance and the empty roads around them. Alex focused on breathing, knowing that James would protect him.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." James said, "But it would be helpful for me to know what might happen, before we get down there."

Alex looked over to him. He was looking down the road, squinting in the sunlight. The Immigrant turned and glanced at the water down the hill. If he focused hard enough, he could hear Jefferson and Lee bickering.

"If you touch me, I swear I'll shoot you in your sleep."

"If you say another word, I'll fucking shoot you right now."

"I'm not going to help you."

"I don't need your help, you dipshit."

They were clearly distracted, and weren't paying attention to whatever he and James were doing. Taking a deep breath, Alex explained, "You know I'm an immigrant, right?"

James nodded, glancing over at him slightly.

"Well, I came from a small island in the Caribbean. And, well, have you heard of that year when the hurricanes were really bad? Everyone was so worried about Florida and Texas and Puerto Rico?"

"Sure." James shrugged, "There's hurricanes nearly every year, but when I was a teenager, I remember there was a bad one. They called it, Hurricane Manuael or something?"

"Manuel." Alex said quietly. "Hurricane Manuel. I … I was in it. It hit my town and - and I watched so many bodies get washed away. I almost drowned …"

James paused, before he asked, "Can you swim?"

Alex's voice shook as he said, "No. But, dead bodies float, so… I did what I had to."

James changed the subject slightly, saying, "Well, the water will be shallow at the river's edge. I'll be right with you, it'll be alright."

Alex barely heard him speak. His mind was too busy not shutting up. He could feel dirty water rip through his lungs, stealing his air, choking him. His body shook as he felt wind yank trees out of the ground and water stinging his eyes. He tried to swallow, but with the lump in his throat, it felt too much like drowning. He tried to think of something good, something pure. He tried to think of Eliza.

Eliza, who knew what he was, and loved him anyway. The first person to use his correct pronouns, and who didn't mind all of his baggage. The only person he trusted with his life. The person who saved his life. He owed her everything.

"She used to take showers with me, so I wouldn't have flashbacks." Alex whispered, grief and anxiety ripping his heart out of his rib cage, cracking bones and snapping muscles. James didn't question what he was talking about. He just offered a small, sympathetic smile. "God, I miss her so much."

James opened his arms, and gestured for Alex to come closer. Alex only hesitated for a fraction of a second, before he stumbled into James' embrace. He buried his face in the other man's chest, and tried hard to not fall apart. James held him tightly with one arm, the other still free in case of trouble.

"Lee's coming." James warned him after a moment. "Will you be alright?"

Alex nodded, stepping away. He turned his back on Lee and James so he could fix his breathing and push away the painful thoughts of his past and his wife. He was both pleased and disappointed to find his eyes dry. He knew the side effects of crying, of the calming chemicals that get released, and he almost wished he had those flowing through his body now. On the other hand, crying in front of these guys didn't seem like a good idea. Alex wasn't known for tears, and he'd like to keep it that way. It didn't help his breathing situation much though. He took a long time to turn around, pulling his hands behind his head to open his airway a bit more. His chest burned with the stretch that his binder just barely allowed.

"Where's Thomas?" James asked from behind him.

"Putting himself back together." Lee replied.

Alex looked over his shoulder to see Lee pointing down the hill and James growling "Stay here." under his breath as he jogged in the direction of their bathing spot.

Finally satisfied, Alex turned around. He watched as Lee ran his hands through his wet hair, trying to dry it off as quickly as it could. Lee glanced at him as he asked, "Since when are you and Madison so chummy?"

"We've always been friends." Alex replied, shifting on his feet awkwardly.

"Not from what I remember. You two were always arguing in front of Washington." Lee lowered his hands thoughtfully, "Well, you argued. He ignored you."

Alex nodded slowly, "We have different political views, yes. But… I don't resent him for that. He's been very … helpful for me, when others weren't."

Lee crossed his arms, "I have never seen him give you the time of day. Like, ever."

"Cuz it was fuckin' private, Lee." Alex grumbled.

Lee's face scrunched up as he figured it out, "Oh, gross. You guys were fucking, weren't you?"

Alex rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No, Lee, we didn't sleep together."

"Then what was it?"

It was fifteen years ago, when Alex got his first binder. He was fresh out of college, and had no clue what he was doing in the world. Eliza had ordered it for him, spending money that he didn't have. She pulled him into their shared apartment and squealed, "Close your eyes, close your eyes!"

So, Alex did. He chuckled at his girlfriend, "Okay, okay. What's this all about, anyway?"

"Well, our three year anniversary is coming up." Eliza said, her voice full of excitement.

Alex pulled a thoughtful face, "Oh? Is it?"

"Shut up." Eliza giggled, "You're the one that keeps reminding me. Anyway, I'm going to be out of town on our actual anniversary, so I thought we could celebrate today."
Alex opened an eye to say, "Eliza, I haven't gotten you anything yet-"

"Shh! Eyes closed! Eyes closed!" She said, shoving her hands in his face. He laughed again and closed his eye. "I really hope I'm not crossing any boundaries or anything with this."

Alex felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, "Uh, what did you…?"

Before he could ask the question, something was shoved into his hands. He felt it and immediately knew it was some kind of blanket or clothing.

"Open your eyes." Eliza squeaked. Alex did, and looked at her first. Her hands were over her eyes, and she was peeking at him through her fingers. Then, Alex glanced down at the cloth in his hands.

He unfolded it and immediately knew what it was. His voice shook as he whispered, "Oh my God."

"Is it okay? It's not, like, bad that I got this right? I just thought that-" Eliza lowered her hands to instead fiddle with the hem of her skirt. Alex's shaky legs took a step forward, as he pulled her close to him, trying to contain his tears. "I'm so sorry, I thought that it was the right thing to do! I knew you didn't have one, and I thought it was a good gift! I can send it back if you want!?"
"NO!" Alex shouted, he pulled away from her just enough to look in her eyes, "No, dearest, it's perfect! I love it! Thank you!"

Eliza relaxed and reached up to brush away his tears. "Oh, Alex. Peggy swore up and down you'd want it, but I was still worried."

Alex huffed a small laugh, Eliza's sibling quickly became one of Alex's closest friends, he wasn't surprised they were involved. "I'm going to try it on!"

Eliza gave him a quick kiss and let him go so he could disappear into the bathroom.

No one had informed him how difficult it was to put on a binder. He huffed and growled, twisting his body unnaturally in an attempt to squish his breasts. By the time he wiggled his arm free, he was a bit riled up, his face flushed from exertion.

But he did it. He was wearing a binder. He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. The reaction was immediate. Alex's knees gave out at the same time that his eyes unloaded all of their tears. His hand flew up to his mouth to cover his sobs as the image of himself flashed in his mind. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone, they were gone, they were gone!

It was like his body didn't know how to react. He'd never been this happy before in his life, and the only way he knew how to express that was to sob uncontrollably.

There was a soft knock on the door, "Al? Can I come in?"

Alex couldn't speak between his sobs, so he just pawed at the door handle until it opened. She peeked down at him as he sat on the floor, his hand pressed against his chest. She laughed, grinning at his reaction.

"Darling, are you okay?" She asked, worried.

Alex lifted a fist, rapidly shaking it up and down. He smiled at her through his tears, and signed thank you over and over and over. She lowered herself down to sit with him on their bathroom floor. He switched between kissing every piece of her skin he could reach, and pressing his hands against where his breasts use to be.

Eventually, Eliza brought him a chair from their kitchen. He sat on it, in front of the mirror, so he could stare at his flat chest in the reflection. Eliza stood behind him, her hands resting on his shoulders. She smiled every time he burst into happy tears again.

"I- I'm going to wear it tomorrow." Alex promised, looking up at her. "And the next day, and the next, until I die."

Eliza happily kissed him again, squealing when Alex stood up and spun her around. That night, he thanked her in every way he knew.

The next day, his excitement and nerves warred in his constricted chest when he walked into work that day. He was only an intern for now. But he knew he'd move up in the corporation soon.

"Finally got some clothes that fit, I see." A man named Aaron Burr commented as a greeting. That was true, Alex always wore extremely big suits, hoping that the loose clothing would hide his chest. Now that he had no chest to hide, he could finally wear an outfit that wasn't two sizes too big.

After Alex realized that no one was going to notice that he was wearing a binder, it went from the most stressful to the most blissful day of his life. He was confident, knowing that he was one step closer to finally being a man.

But his body wasn't used to wearing something so constricting. And by the time lunch rolled around, Alex's back and sides were stabbing him every time he moved. He had to take it off. Luckily, he was prepared for this. Peggy had informed him to always have a sports bra in his desk, just in case.

So, the first full day of wearing a binder was cut short as Alex ducked into a lesser-used bathroom. It was further away from their offices, so he didn't think he'd be interrupted. Even still, he probably should have gone into one of the stalls, but he was too distracted by the pain shooting down his spine.

His hands quickly undid his tie and shucked off his suit jacket. The buttons of his shirt were quickly undone, he laid everything on the sink counter, careful to avoid any wet spots. He then tried to figure out how the fuck he was supposed to take this thing off. Eliza helped him last night, but now that he was alone, he wasn't exactly sure where to start.

He rolled the front part up, it tightened around him as he pulled it past his nipples. His breasts were free, but now the rolled-up binder was pinching his shoulder blades and armpits. He gasped as he tried to contort his arms around enough to pull it off the rest of the way. He couldn't quite reach it, though, and he was growing more frustrated with each passing moment.

And then.

The door opened.

Thankfully, Alex was turned the other direction, but that didn't stop the deep red flush that shot across his face at the sound. There was a pause, and then a hesitant, "Do you need help?"

Alex recognized that voice. He looked over his shoulder awkwardly to see James Madison standing there. He was another intern, and they often worked together on projects. They weren't super close, but he'd pick James over literally anyone else in the office anyway.

Alex quickly averted his gaze and mumbled, "I can't reach it."

James stepped forward, announcing just loud enough for Alex to hear, "I'm going to pull it up and off, is that alright?"

Alex nodded silently, refusing to look to their left and see their reflections mimicking them. He flinched slightly as he felt James' warm hands on his back, gently tugging the binder past his shoulders.

As soon as he was free, Alex wrapped his arms around his chest and said shakily, "U-um, in my jacket pocket - there's, um…"

James stepped away, setting the binder down on the pile of clothes. He rustled through Alex's pockets until he pulled out a white sports bra. Silently, he held it out. Alex glanced over his shoulder to see the man was looking the other way. He mentally thanked God that He was on his side, for once.

Alex quickly pulled on the bra, sighing in relief at the small familiarity of it. He wished he could wear his binder longer. Tomorrow he'll ignore the pain. He can't let something like this happen again.
"I only say this because I hope it would make you feel better." James said, still looking away, "But I had no idea."

"That was the point." Alex grumbled, his face burning as he grabbed his shirt. He worked on the buttons, his back still turned, as he heard James sigh quietly.

"Don't be upset, Alexander. I don't think any differently of you." When Alex glanced at him over his shoulder, the other man was picking at his nails, "And I won't tell anyone about this."

Even still, Alex couldn't ignore the deep panic in his chest as he snatched up his tie. "Right. Well. Um. Thank you."

That was how James Madison Jr. became the first (of few) to learn about him. The only other two that would later find out were Aaron Burr and George Washington. No one else in their building suspected a thing. Alex wanted to keep it that way.

Fully dressed and binder tucked safely into a pocket, Alex pushed past James. He paused by the door to look at the other man. He shyly smiled at him, raised his hand to his lips and lowered them again.

Thank you.

"None of your business, Lee." Alex growled, relaxing slightly as he watched Jefferson and James approach them. Jefferson's dark curls were hanging low with water, they were laughing about something. Jefferson was carrying a pile of wet clothes in his arm.

"You're ridiculous." James said affectionately.

"And I'm all yours." Jefferson grinning, tapping his own cheek twice, "Give me some love?"

James snorted, kissing his own hand and pushing his fingers against Jefferson's face. Jefferson squealed, swatting the hand away.

Lee gagged and rolled his eyes. Before he could make some homophobic comment, James walked up to Alex. Jefferson hung his damp clothes off the side mirrors of the bus, stretching to situate them how he wanted. James asked quietly, "You ready?"

Alex nodded, picking up his folded change of clothes from the bus steps. James handed Jefferson his gun and grabbed his own spare clothes.

"Do not come unless called." James sternly said, pointing at Lee, then Jefferson.

Lee rolled his eyes, while Jefferson pouted, but neither of them looked like they'd follow them. Alex walked beside James as they made their way down to the water's edge. Alex tried his best to ignore the sharp pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his binder. He

"I had us go second so we could take a little more time, if need be." James informed him gently. Alex nodded, but couldn't meet his eye as they set their spare clothes down on a dry part of the riverbank. James didn't hesitate as he started to strip, dropping his clothes in the water so he could wash them. Jefferson and Lee left some megar supplies down here for them. A bottle of shampoo, no conditioner, and a bar of soap. They sat on the riverbank next to a single towel.

Alex wasn't as confident as the other man. He stepped further under the bridge and turned away a bit as he slowly undid his clothes. As he pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants, leaving him in just his boxers and binder, he paused. Alex glanced over his shoulder to James, who was busy washing his own clothes, not looking at him. Strangely, Alex didn't feel as awkward as he thought he would at seeing James Madison naked.

James must have sensed his unease, because he said, "Is there anything I can do, to make this easier?"

Alex was torn. He didn't really want James to watch him, but he also hadn't taken a shower alone in years. And he's never taken a bath since coming to America. He tried to keep his breathing even as he considered his options.

"I don't know… Just… talk?" Alex suggested, "Keep me distracted? But, um, please keep your back turned. I won't make you do what Eliza does for me." He said with a chuckle. His smile feel though as he remembered, "Did … for me."

James nodded and thought for a moment. Finally, he started talking, "I met Thomas when we were children. Had to be nine or so. Our parents were both very wealthy, and had agreed to start up a new company together. They met often to discuss business transactions and drink wine. Thomas and I were the same age, so they always dragged us along. It gave us a little social interaction, which Tom definitely needed." James snorted slightly, grinning, "He's such a recluse."

"Are you two … together?" Alex asked. He tried hard to not have any judgement in his tone. Who was he to decide if someone's coping method was fair or not? If, in their struggle to deal with the end of the world, they found comfort in each other, who was he to judge?

"Nah." James smiled, shaking his head, "He' just a jackass. I had a crush on him in high school, and he knew it, too. So he teased me about it every now and then. It faded, I don't see him like that anymore. But there's comfort in familiarity. Zombies won't change how we treat each other. We're too stubborn for that."

Alex nodded. That makes sense. Finally, Alex slips out of his boxers and pulls off his binder. He washes everything quickly, although he hesitates at getting his binder wet. James continues to speak.

"I was actually best man at Tom's wedding. He was for mine, too. His wife was a lovely gal, and his daughter was the most precious thing on earth." James grew quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about them. He sucked in a deep breath, "Thomas didn't take their deaths very well."

Alex hummed in agreement. "Course he didn't. He lost everything."

James stood up to wring out his now-soaking shirt. When he was done, he laid it in the grass to dry a bit. He did the whole thing without looking at Alex. "What makes it worse is that he just got Martha, too. That's - I mean his daughter. They named her after her mother. Anyway, she was just born two years or so ago. She'd be turning three this September."

Alex let out a low whistle and shook his head. He focused on the words enough to lower himself down into a sitting position in the water. His top half was still dry, but it was easier to wash his clothes this way. He added to the conversation when he saw his hands starting to shake. "Um, I have two kids. Had two kids. Philip and Angie."

Alex saw through his peripheral that James almost looked at him, he must've forgot. But he quickly corrected himself and turned the other way.

"Pip was fourteen, and Angie ten." Alex felt a fond smile spread across his lips, "I loved them more than life itself."

"Knowing you, that doesn't mean much." James said teasingly, "But I understand what you mean."

Alex chuckled with him. He licked his lips and asked, "Did you have any kids?"

"No." James shrugged, "It never really interested me, being a father. Dolley didn't want any either, so we just… did our own thing. Had a cat, though. He was an asshole."

Alex laughed, and he found that he wasn't doing too bad with the whole sitting-naked-in-a-dirty-river thing. He glanced over at James, and realized that he had to set his clothes out to dry. Clearing his throat, he wadded up his shirt and held it out behind him, twisting his body like some kind of Olympic medley runner. "Uh, will you lay these out?"

James hesitated, and Alex could hear when the man shifted to look at him. He took the shirt from Alex and suggested, "Just kinda, push them over towards me, I'll wring them out."

Alex did as he was told and prepared his remaining clothes for their big adventure down river. He could hear James grabbing up the items and moving through the water. Alex took a moment to try and breathe.

He looked over his shoulder at James and asked, "Do I have to wash my hair?"

"Yes. Thomas will bitch if you don't." James replied, shaking water droplets from his own dark locks. "But I can help you, if you're comfortable with it."

He knows he really should wash his hair. His face is oily and gross and his scalp itches. But that means putting his head in the water. And he's not sure if he can do that.

Briefly, he hears James mutter, "I'll remember to find a bucket next mission."

Alex closes his eyes and whispered, "Okay, okay. Yeah. Um. Just. Be careful? I guess."

He could feel the heat rush to his face as James moved behind him. "How do you want to do this?"

Alex looked over his shoulder, grinning as he said, "Baptize me?"

"What?" James squinted in confusion, before realization crossed his face, "You're quoting something, aren't you?"
Alex snickered as he turned back around, "Yeah. Book of Mormon. Uh, so, I can probably do most of it on my own. But, just… hold my hand?"

James held out his hand, just over Alex's shoulder. Alex reached up and clasped their hands together. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the warm skin under his fingers. His breathing hitched as he sunk lower into the water. The cold waves lapped just at his collarbones, slimy seaweed slid across his ankles. Alex jerked his legs out of reach of the plants, trying hard to not panic. He's fine, he's okay. His head is still above water for God's sake, there's nothing wrong here.

"Probably best to just get it over with quickly." James murmured beside him. He shifted closer, now that Alex was mostly covered by the murky water. "Just dunk yourself real quick."

Alex glanced at him, licking his lips nervously. Instead of replying, he reached his other hand up to cling their combined ones. He kept eye contact with James as he tilted his head back and lowered himself even further. His teeth clenched as the cold water invaded his senses, up his shoulders, his neck, in his ears. The world was muted by a swirling dull roar of waves and the intense pounding of Alex's own heart. A larger wave washed by, splashing Alex's face. He immediately tried to rise back out of the water, whining. James only allowed him to raise enough to blink the water out of his eyes, before he silently coaxed him back into the murky depths. Alex screwed his eyes tight, his arms shaking with how hard he was hanging off of James' hand. Sucking in a sharp breath, Alex suddenly pushed himself down into the water.

As soon as he was blocked off from air, his mind went into panic mode. He could hear the howling of the wind as it ripped trees from their roots; the screaming of people and the crying of a child in another room. He could feel a sharp pain in his chest as he knew that, despite all his efforts, he couldn't die with way. He wanted this to end, he wanted this to be over with. But no. He was chosen to live through this, when everyone else had the life choked out of them, he was stuck watching, suffering. Why did they get an easy way out?

Suddenly, the water disappeared, and Alex was sucking in shaking breaths. He coughed violently as he leaned over. James' arm was wrapped around his back, he pulled him up; he saved him from the darkness, once again. Alex leaned heavily against his warm chest, his gaze glassy as he tried to push those thoughts away.

"Shh, shh, you're alright. Let me put some shampoo in your hair. Then you have to rinse it and we're done." James said, shifting back behind him so he could do just that. Alex unthinkingly reached a hand back to keep contact with the other man. His fingers rested just above James' hip, and Alex focused on that point, even as James's hands massaged soapy suds into his scalp. It was soothing, and helped Alex regain his bearings. Alex focused on James' calm voice, "You're in the Hudson River, in New York state. It's the end of July. You're going to be just fine. I'm here."

All too quickly, James informed him that it was time to rinse his hair.

"You don't have to put your face all the way in the water. We just have to get the shampoo out of your hair." James pointed out, "Or, would you prefer to just go under the water again?"

Alex was shaking, and it wasn't from the cold water. He shrugged, unsure of which way would be better. Finally he held up two fingers.
"The second one? Are you sure?" James asked, sounding a bit surprised. Alex nodded. It's quicker; he wasn't sure if he could calmly lay back in the water for a longer amount of time. He'd rather get it done quick and painfully.

James mumbled, "If you say so," and moved back to Alex's side, letting the immigrant cling to his arm once more. Alex didn't try to psych himself up this time. He just closed his eyes, held his breath, and hoped for the best. He threw himself backwards into the water with a splash. Almost immediately, he felt the surge of panic try to take him once more. But he wouldn't let it. He couldn't. After a moment, he was pulled back to the surface by a strong arm under him. Alex choked and whined; a sob ripping itself from deep in his chest.

"You did it, we're done now. We're gonna get dried off, now." James hummed soothingly. He ran a hand gently over Alex's sopping wet hair, "You did good."

Alex closed his eyes and allowed himself to press close to James' body. He didn't care that he was naked, clinging to a cis guy, crying quietly. He just needed strong arms around him, otherwise, he'd be washed away in the storm.

It took James a minute, but he was finally able to convince Alex to calm down enough to return to the shore with him. James dried Alex first with the towel, trying hard to not linger on any inappropriate parts. Alex had his arms wrapped around his middle, his eyes locked to the water he just escaped. He barely noticed when James pushed clean clothes into his arms. His body moved on autopilot as he pulled on boxers and pants. They were jeans, but they were far too large for him. They must've been James' extra pair. He absentmindedly scratched at his chest, in the small space right between his breasts. James' gaze only glanced down for a second as he dried himself.

"Alexander." He warned sternly, "Don't."

Alex looked over at him, somewhat confused. He glanced down, noticing his own actions for the first time. He yanked his nails away from the soft skin, trying hard to ignore the faded scars there.

"I wasn't trying to." Alex muttered, turning away from James. "It's just - habit."

"Thought we settled this years ago." James sighed.

Alex shrugged, growing defensive. "Well, relapses are natural, and given the conditions, I think I'm entitled. Besides, it's just scratches."

Alex glanced over his shoulder to see James putting on boxers, his expression slightly annoyed, "We both know that -"

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

The sound of gunshots cut James off immediately. His head whipped around to look up the hill, where Thomas and Lee were hidden from view. James opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the opportunity to do so due to the fact that a tattered and foaming body was thrown down the hill towards him. James yelped and jumped out of the way as the screeching creature crashed into the muddy shallows.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SEND THEM DOWN HERE?!" James shouted, not looking up at the hill, where the distinct sounds of fighting still took place. Alex stood, frozen, staring at the deformed body that attempted to stand. It twisted around, trying to reach for James, growling the entire time.

Fear shot through Alex's entire body. He still hadn't fully recovered from the river, and so his thoughts were empty except for an intense jolt of terror. He stood there, unmoving, as the zombie snapped its dislocated jaw at James.

The man, although clearly distressed, was in far better shape than Alexander. He quickly grabbed a large rock from the shore bed and slammed it against the zombie's skull, careful to avoid any teeth or nails. The creature stumbled, and James repeated his attack with growing aggression. Alex could only watch as chunks of brain and skull fragments flew off the zombie with each impact.

Finally, the zombie's body went limp, and it crumpled down at James' feet. The man dropped the bloody rock on the zombie's dead body. Breathing hard, he stepped over to the river, and thoroughly washed his hands.

Once James considered his hands clean, he stood up and glanced at Alex. He only gestured to the large rock on the ground and said, "Anything can be a weapon."

Alex swallowed hard and nodded.

James then turned to the hill, cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted, "If y'all're dead, I'll kill you!"

"You wish!" Came the strangled reply. A moment later, and Jefferson's exhausted face appeared over the edge of the hill. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, no thanks to you." James replied, picking up his clothes. Jefferson started to pick his way down, but James sharply barked, "No! You stay up there!"

Jefferson frowned, "What?"

James looked over to Alex, who was still a bit shell-shocked. He repeated, "Stay up there, we'll be up in a second."

Alex blinked rapidly as he realized what was happening. He was still shirtless. From where he currently stood, Jefferson couldn't see him, but if he came down here… Alex instantly grabbed the shirt he had laid out, James made sure Jefferson didn't move any closer as Alex hastily threw the shirt on. He picked up the rest of his clothes, which were still damp from their washing, and stumbled to James' side.

As always, James insured that he took the rear. Alex slowly made his way up the hill, unable to make eye contact with Jefferson. His heart was still pounding so fast, he could feel his blood race through his veins.

Jefferson helped him up the last few steps before turning to do the same with James. Alex took in the sight before him. Ten or so infected bodies littered the ground. Blood splatters painted the side of the bus. Lee was already on the vehicle, anxiously gripping the wheel. Jefferson's clothes were gone from the mirrors, so they must've already been thrown inside.

Alex was ushered into the bus, his mind barely registering what was happening around him. James and Jefferson were right behind him, and soon, the doors were closed and they were driving far away from the crime scene.

"We can't stop until we get around Albany." James was saying. Alex almost didn't hear him, the world was growing fuzzy.

His vision faded around the corners, black dots cutting through his vision. He blinked hard and swayed on his feet, the last thing he knew before the world turned to black, was Jefferson catching his falling body.

Tell me what you think!