Hello!
First, to those of you favoriting, following, reviewing, and reading—thank you so much! I've loved seeing you all interact with this story, and I hope you're loving watching Bree grow as much as I am.
Secondly, we're going to be switching perspectives in the coming chapters. I love writing through Bree—and she will absolutely be making a reappearance as the voice of this story—but to take this story where I feel it must go, we need to see how things are developing through some different (but familiar) eyes. I promise, the change will be worth it as everything begins to come together.
Finally, keep dropping me reviews! I've loved the feedback I've received thus far, and I want to know what you all think!
Happy reading, -SS
Chapter 4 (Jacob)
"Sam's thinking about telling us we can't kill the bloodsuckers when they turn her," I growled.
Embry and Quil were sitting in my garage, watching me pace and throw my tools around in frustration. They loved killing vampires just as much as I did, but this was personal for me. The Cullens were going to take Bella from me. I'd kissed her, convinced her she loved me too, and still, that filthy bloodsucker would take her away from me. And Sam thought he was going to tell me I couldn't kill them once they did.
My hand found my wrench and flung it across the garage, causing the entire back wall to shutter.
"Calm down, Jake," Quil said.
"Calm down?" My voice was low and dangerous. "They're going to kill her! How the hell am I supposed to calm down?"
"Bro, we care about Bella too, alright? But, well, she chose this. Have you considered that this is what she wants?"
"No. Because it's not what she wants. It's what he wants and she's just convinced herself that it's okay."
Embry and Quil looked at each other in a way that clearly conveyed they thought I was beyond convincing.
"And I don't give a damn what Sam says," I added. "When they change her, I'll kill them all." Now I was just talking out of my ass. If Sam ordered me not to kill them, I'd have no choice but to obey. If that happened, I'd have to leave. I'd have no choice. I couldn't stay here, waiting for the day that I came across Bella, skin cold and hard as ice and eyes red as the blood that no longer flowed through her veins. Would I want to kill her too? Would I be able to live with myself if I did?
No, I couldn't stay here once they'd changed her. If I could get around Sam's mandate, I'd kill as many Cullens as I could and then take off. Maybe they'd take me out at the same time and I wouldn't even have to go.
"Come on, Jake." Embry stood up, breaking my wallowing. "I'm starving. Emily's probably got a fest ready."
"You guys go ahead," I answered. I didn't want to run into Sam if I could avoid it. If I could just exercise some control and not phase until after they'd changed her. I might be able to avoid his mandate. Maybe I'd be able to kill them after all. My limbs trembled in anticipation. I took calming breaths and brought myself back down.
"You sure? Man, I know Seth misses you. You know he thinks of you as a big brother, even more than the rest of us." Better that I sever the connection now then. I didn't want Seth being more attached than he needed to be when I died or left.
"Yeah, I'm good. Tell Seth I'll see him soon." It was a lie. Hopefully they couldn't see that.
Embry and Quil left the garage, leaving me alone with my thoughts. It had been a long time since I'd been able to just sit still and think. I was starting to remember how much I hated it. With one last kick at my toolbox, I took off into the house to make myself a sandwich. That sated my boredom for all of five minutes, and then I found myself bouncing on my heels again, looking for something to do.
I decided on a two-legged run. I didn't want to bother with appearances, so I took off into the woods behind the house, wearing only a pair of athletic shorts. I rarely wore shoes or shirts anymore unless I was in public. They were hot and inconvenient, and I didn't want any more irritants today.
I spent miles just stretching my legs, feeling my muscles contract and expand, pushing me forward. My breath came evenly, my heart rate never even picking up as I climbed further and higher, pushing my human form further and further and never encountering any resistance. Before long, I realized I was heading back into the clearing where we'd fought the redhead's army.
More snow had fallen in the week that had passed. All of the tracks had been filled in and the scent of battle no longer lingered. If I hadn't known what had happened here, I probably would've found the place peaceful. But I did know what had happened here, and a fantom pain shot through my right side at the thought.
I slowed my gait into a casual stroll and crossed the clearing, enjoying the feel of the cold air chilling the sweat on my skin. The run had helped my head clear, and the piercing, clear air here was helping even more. About halfway across the clearing, I inhaled deeply, feeling the icy reaches of the air fill my lungs.
A new scent slammed into me, smelling like fruit allowed to rot to the point of fermentation. It was a sickly sweet smell that could only mean one thing: a vampire had been here, very recently. For a second, I thought that maybe one of the Cullens had circled back to clear the wreckage before some stray hiker came across the clearing. But this was a new scent, one I didn't recognize.
I fought like hell not to phase right then. If I phased, the vampire would automatically fight me, no questions asked. I would kill it, and if it was a friend of the Cullens, they'd have cause to start a war. Sam would be pissed.
Instead, I tracked the scent on human feet, running as fast as I could without losing it. It burned my nose and started to cause a touch of nausea in my stomach, but I kept running. With each step I took, I got more nauseous. I wondered if the lactic acid was building up in my muscles faster than my body could process it out.
When the nausea was overwhelming, I stopped and bent over to wretch. I was miles away from home, doubled over puking with a potentially hostile vampire nearby. I realized then that I was probably about to die. If not, I was going to have to call Carlisle, because this kind of puking wasn't normal. I hadn't had so much as a cold since my first phase. I decided in that second that if I did get to kill some Cullens, I'd spare Carlisle.
"Get home. Call Carlisle. Don't die. Avoid Sam. Avoid the rest of the Cullens." I was talking myself through the nausea as I turned around to start my trip home.
Immediately the nausea receded, and a voice about thirty feet from me spoke. "Did you just say 'Cullen?'"
I damn near jumped out of my shorts. When I turned around, there was a vampire behind me. I registered that he had blonde hair and was even taller than me before my limbs started shaking.
"Who are you?" I demanded, using every ounce of strength I had to resist the urge to phase.
"Name's Fred. Do you know the Cullens?"
"Are you a friend of theirs?"
"Not exactly," he answered. "I need to talk to them though."
A bright-red-eyed bloodsucker with enough compassion to check on a friend? That was a new one for me. "What do you mean?"
He sighed, clearly tired of my questions. "Listen, the fact that you aren't surprised by meeting an absolute stranger miles off the trail tells me you're more aware of this world than most. I'm not a threat, I just think they might have a friend of mine and I want to know if she's okay. Can you tell me where they are or not?"
"What do you mean they have a friend of yours?"
His jaw tightened, and I figured this was the last question I'd get before I'd be forced to phase to fight him off.
"A friend of mine came here against her will to fight them a week ago. I came back to see if she'd survived, and I caught her scent intermingled with a bunch of other unfamiliar ones leading away from here. I thought she'd escape back to here and I've been waiting on her. I want to know that she is okay. If you can't help me, get lost. You stink."
"You have absolutely no room to talk," I said, remembering the puking I'd been doing minutes ago. My mind was spinning. Had the Cullens taken in a new member? If so, it was probably young and uncontrolled. It might kill in the town. I'd need to warn Sam, and soon. But it was also possible this vampire in front of me might take care of some of my problems for me. What did I care if he intended to hurt the Cullens? That was what I wanted to do.
"They live about thirty-five miles from here. Stick to the woods, and if you come across anyone who smells like me, run like hell." I gave him better directions and sent him on his way. Now that the nausea had passed, I felt fine to run again. I wanted to know what the Cullens were up to, but I really had no way to get that information. I sure as hell wasn't going to visit them. I didn't want to call Bella. And I definitely didn't want to wait here for the sickening bloodsucker to come back through.
I would have rather waited until I knew everything to tell Sam, but that didn't feel like much of an option. So, I ran back to Emily's my head much more engaged on the return trip than it had been on the way to the clearing.
When I got there, most of the pack was still eating. They really never stopped. I reached out and grabbed a muffin because I couldn't help myself, then I discreetly asked Sam if we could talk. We walked down to the beach, out of hearing range of the house.
"What's wrong, Jacob?"
The alpha timbre was slowly creeping into Sam's voice. I hated it when he did that.
"I think the bloodsuckers took in one of the newborns from the clearing."
I explained my encounter from this afternoon, filling Sam in on everything I knew. His face went from calm, to worried, to downright angry.
"It won't have any control!" His outburst encouraged me. Maybe I'd get the fight I wanted sooner than I'd expected.
"I don't think we can allow this. Do the Cullens know you know?"
"If they don't, they probably will soon. Once the bloodsucker I ran into today gets there, Edward will probably see me in his head."
"We won't be able to surprise them then." Sam was contemplative for a few seconds. "I'm going to ask for a meeting with Carlisle. I won't tolerate an out of control newborn on our lands."
I just shrugged. I didn't want to tip him off to the rage that was burning in my stomach, and a nonchalant attitude seemed the best way to hide it.
"I'll regroup with you soon, and we'll develop a plan before telling the others. Stay close." It was subtle, but it was still an order. No more head-clearing runs for me today.
I stayed on the beach, allowing the rolling tide to lull my mind into surface-level calm. I didn't want to think about the newborn squatting in the Cullen house or the fight that we would inevitably be having with them over it soon. I would be ready for that fight when it came. For now, I wanted to enjoy my moment of peace.
Of course, as it had been since I'd realized I was in love with Bella, true peace was elusive. I'd wished so many times that I could just imprint, that I could lose myself in someone else so completely that the feelings I had for Bella would be just a faint memory. Billy swore it was just a crush, one of those things that all teenagers go through and grow through. He'd chortled as he'd said that line, making me see red and forcing me out of the house before I phased right on top of him.
If only that stupid bloodsucker hadn't decided to try and kill himself. Bella would've loved me back. I understood her in ways he didn't, in ways she didn't understand herself. I knew what the worst of her pain looked like, and I loved her more for her strength in enduring it. And I could protect her, just as much if not more than he could.
I stood up and started pacing the beach, kicking rocks and pieces of debris again as my frustration grew. I just couldn't understand it!
I heard footsteps coming my way, and the heavy way the fell told me it was Quil before I turned around.
"Jake!" he called. "Sam wants you."
There was no point in trying to delay. Sam would've met with Carlisle, and his decision was made. Now all I could do was follow it. I pivoted, putting an indent in the sand, and loped back toward Emily's house. Sam awaited me outside.
"We aren't fighting," he said in a low voice. "Carlisle swears they have the girl under control, that she's adjusting well, and that she is committed to their peaceable lifestyle. After teaming up last week and seeing more of his character, I don't think he'd lie to me. So we'll wait, and we'll watch, but for now, she's off limits." I saw then that he was holding a pink velvet dress. "Carlisle says that she won't be going anywhere alone for quite some time, but he gave me this so that we can know her scent in case we come across it."
"We aren't fighting?" I was fuming. "But she's a newborn! She'll slaughter the town!"
"I've just told you that Carlisle feels she's under control. And I trust Carlisle. I'm not negotiating this, Jacob. Do you realize how many of your brothers we would lose if we fought? If she was dangerous, I'd be willing to risk it. But if she is contained, then I won't put lives on the line for the sake of your ego. Now sniff the dress, and don't kill anything with this scent."
He thrusted the dress under my nose, forcing the godawful smell into my sinuses and memory.
"I want to make it clear that is not a request. You will not kill her without an order from me first." He'd used his alpha timbre, almost making my knees buckle. He walked away without another word, retreating inside to tell the rest of the pack.
Again, I ran. As soon as I was across the highway and covered by trees, I phased. Hopefully I'd calm down enough to phase back if any of the others joined me. I still so did not need Sam hearing that I was planning to kill them all once they broke the treaty, his orders be damned.
I was twice as fast this time, allowing my anger to propel me forward into the dense forest. For a brief moment, I considered just leaving and living on my own as a wolf. Maybe if I put enough distance between myself and La Push, Sam's ability to compel me would lessen. I could live my life alone, not worried about Bella, or the pack, or a ravenous new vampire in the town I'd grown up in.
But I knew almost instantly that was impossible now. Maybe this morning, before I'd known about the newborn. Maybe then Sam could've set me off enough that I'd have gone and not looked back. But now I knew the newborn existed, and I also knew that Bella would eventually be near her. I needed to be here, to be available to Bella in case she got hurt. I was stuck, and I hated it.
After about sixty miles of sprinting east, my anger was beginning to fade, which was lucky, because I suddenly heard Embry in my head.
Jake? You alright?
I phased back immediately. I wanted to be left the hell alone! Why couldn't they understand that.
The trip back was long. I followed my own scent back, staying away from roads and hiking trails. A bunch of people seeing a naked teenager traipsing through the woods would raise questions I didn't feel like answering. I started out just walking, trying to prolong the solitude, but eventually I realized that it would take me half a day to get back at this pace, so I picked it up. It was still well after nightfall when I returned home. I'd had to take a wide perimeter around town to avoid being seen.
My bedroom window opened silently, allowing me to climb in and pull on some pants before walking into the main room to face my dad.
"Sam told me what happened today," he said, peering up at me from his wheelchair.
"Did he?" I could hear the anger still lingering in my voice and tried to soften it; he wasn't the reason I was mad.
"If you want to talk, I'm here." He rolled away then, knowing I wasn't going to take him up on the offer. I made another sandwich, then eventually three more. Replacing the calories I burned each day seemed like an unattainable goal, but still, I tried.
I wanted to call Bella. But that would only hurt us both, and really, what was the point? Nothing she told me would make Sam act now that the doctor had convinced him he didn't need to. And she was probably with her bloodsucker anyway. He wouldn't stop her from seeing me anymore, but she'd be anxious to get back to him. I hated feeling second in her eyes, even if that's what I absolutely was.
I spent the night wallowing instead. At some point I drifted off to sleep, but it wasn't restful. I'd toss and turn, and then wake up for a while to keep the anger in my chest company before falling back into a restless sleep.
I hope you didn't mind terribly taking a short foray into Jacob's head with me. We'll be back to Bree next (which I imagine will be quite soon, as I'm quickly becoming obsessed with this story as well). One of you asked today in a review how Bree's presence will change the events of Breaking Dawn…the short answer is: quite spectacularly. In some ways, the story I intend to write will be the story I needed to read at the time I was getting lost in the Twilight Saga. There will be some pain, some joy, and a number of twists and turns before we reach what I hope you all find is a fulfilling alternate ending.
See you soon! -SS