At some point, James took over driving, leaving Alex to sit in one of the chairs and try and wrap his mind around everything. Jefferson was sitting a few seats in front of him, silently rubbing his temples. The bus was quiet except for the deep rumble of the engine and James carefully avoided holes in the roads.

Alexander is not a stranger to death. And yet, it's not something that someone just gets used to. At least, he hasn't, anyway. It doesn't matter that Alex hated Lee. Actually, none of this is about Lee at all. The only thing circling in Alex's mind is the fragility of life, especially in the new context thrust upon him. One day he left his office and suddenly everyone he knew was dead. That was hard to handle, and he still isn't okay with it. He'll never be okay with it. But then to witness such death right in front of him (or, behind him, as he was driving away, letting it happen), just adds more weight upon his chest. How long until his rib cage cracks under the pressure?

Furthermore, what's the purpose of fighting, running, hiding, and trying if death is inevitable? It's different than before. Before he could find reasons to dodge death, but now? He had none. And the way he saw it, there was only two ways to die out here: zombies or bullets. Images of his own future doom flashed in his mind and he briefly wondered why should he even bother prolonging it?

Alex didn't notice how his hand had slipped under his shirt, his nails scraping against the soft skin of his chest. An old habit coming back to kick his ass, it seems. He doesn't know how long he was doing that, as he thought. It took great effort to remove his hand and place it in his lap determinedly. The last thing he needed now was a self-induced rash.

In an attempt to get his mind off of everything, Alex stared out the window and hummed quietly to himself. It was a slow tune, one that he and Eliza had danced to one or twice. He felt himself take deep breaths, so he could hum the long notes.

Eliza was always much better at dancing than he was, but that's not to say that he wasn't a good dancer. The two had taken ballroom and Latin dance classes together; and while Alex was better at the quick moves, he stumbled once the pace slowed. Eliza always teased him that he needed to learn how to slow down, take deep breaths, and listen to the music. Alex just liked it better when she led them through the steps, her eyes sparkling with amusement and love.

Fuck, he missed her.

She would make this so much easier. But he'd hate to see her have to deal with this kind of world. It might be better that she died quickly, that way she wouldn't have to suffer through the fight.

"We made it out of Albany without any trouble." James said, barely loud enough to be heard. Jefferson didn't even raise his head up to look at him. Alex didn't say anything, but watched as the last of the broken city flew past them.

Alex almost wanted to make the comment, 'So losing Lee was no trouble, then?', but he, despite popular opinion, knew when to keep his mouth shut.

He sighed and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. Maybe later he'd put on his binder; the familiar pressure is his only last sense of comfort.

It was not even ten minutes later that Alexander moved seats. He was getting trapped in his own head and he knew he had to find some way to combat it. If he lost himself now, he may never be able to find his way back.

"Of course reverse-racism exists!"

That's how he ended up in a stupid fight with Jefferson. He doesn't care about the topic, and even is on the opposite side of his actual beliefs, but he needed a distraction and Jefferson seemed to be the perfect target.

Jefferson rolled his eyes saying, "No, it really doesn't."

They were sitting next to each other - Alex had switched seats - and they're voices were carefully low. They didn't want to disrupt James while he drove and they were both still a bit shook by what had happened. Still, Jefferson seemed all too willing to play, and they fell into an argument easily.

"Anyone can be racist. Which means that minorities can be racist to white people; which makes it reverse racism." Alex rattled, the words doing their job effectively. That is, their job being distracting him and giving him something to do instead of just mull over his shitty life.

Jefferson waved his hand dismissively, "Sure, but think about the actual term 'reverse racism', that doesn't make sense in the context you're implying. The opposite of racism? That's thinking someone else's race is better than your own."

"Which still exists." Alex quickly jumped in, "Think about Hitler, he thought Aryans where the best, and he wasn't one."

"Okay, but Aryans aren't actually a race." Jefferson said, "That's still just white people."

"Race doesn't have to be about color." Alex replied, "It's just shared physical traits. We both have brown eyes, so we could both be the same race."

Jefferson's lips did that twitchy thing; where he's trying not to smile, but failing horribly at it. "The brown-eyed race?"

"Exactly!" Alex grinned, "Which means reverse racism exists, and I win."

Alex could see the way Jefferson's mind was churning behind his eyes; how he was trying to find a flaw in Alex's argument, but all that came out was a soft sigh. He shook his head and smiled to himself, muttering, "Whatever, Hamilton."

Alex shifted in his seat, watching Jefferson out of the corner of his eye. The man appeared to be done with any conversation, but Alex couldn't have that. He was here for a distraction, and if his distraction didn't give him attention, who would?

"I don't actually think reverse racism exists." Alex said, gaining Jefferson's curious gaze. "And if it did, whites probably deserve it."

Jefferson hummed in thought, before he said, "If there's ever going to be a time of peace, then there has to be no racism, reverse or otherwise."

"Well, yeah, obviously." Alex agreed, "There can't be peace without first acceptance."

"Of course, none of that matters now, anyway." Jefferson said, looking out the window. "The modern world is gone, and that includes modern problem. Now it's just people and zombies."

Alex paused, taking in the heavy implications of the comment. He quietly asked, "Do zombies count as a race?"

Jefferson turned to look at him. For a moment, he just stared at him. Alex felt himself shift under the gaze, but then Jefferson shrugged and said, "They all have a shared physical trait."

Alex grinned and said, "The zombie race."

"Don't tell anyone," Jefferson said, leaning forward. He lowered his voice even more to share his secret. Alex blinked and found himself horribly engaged in what the other man was about to say. "But I'm actually pretty racist. I hate the zombie race."

Alex let out a loud snort, his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he held back a laugh. He glanced over at James, who was silently driving, and then back to Jefferson. The southerner's eyes were twinkling with mirth as Alex tried to pull himself together. He forced a serious face on as he nodded and said, "Oh, that's understandable. Clearly, they're less superior to the rest of us."

"Unintelligent."

"Unsophisticated."

"Savage."

"Ugly."

"Well, by that standard, you'd be a part of the zombie race, too." Jefferson nudged him, a smirk playing on his lips.

Alex let out a dramatic gasp, "How dare you!?"

Jefferson's grin only widened as he said, "I just speak the truth."

"At least I don't have cotton ball hair!" Alex sneered.

One of Jefferson's hands came up to his hair, his eyes narrowing sharply. And, oh, Alex just knew he was about to get burned by whatever Jefferson said next. But it didn't matter. They both knew this game, he thinks. They both know what this is, a distraction, a stress-reliever, an escape. So Alex didn't mind any insult and snide comment that was sent his way, just as he was sure Jefferson didn't mind any in return. They bickered back and forth until all tension had left their bodies. Despite how wound up the arguments had gotten, Alex found himself at peace. Yes, he was rather fond of arguing, and yes, it appeared as though he had a worthy opponent.

When his legs started to fall asleep, Alex decided now was as good a time as any to go change clothes. He took his sweet time in that tiny bathroom, brushing the knots out of his hair with the brush Jefferson had stolen. Even with all the tangles fixed, his hair still felt gross and itchy, but he wasn't going to complain about it - he didn't want to take another "bath" anytime soon.

With a flat chest, less-dirty clothes, and his hair down by his shoulders, Alex walked out of the bathroom. He dropped his old clothes in one of the vacant seats, deciding he'd find a place for them later.

The sun was starting its decent downwards, and Alex took a moment to ponder what day it was. Has August turned into September yet? When will the first leaves on the trees start to change? When will the cold start to become a deadly concern?

He shook his head, they'll burn that bridge when they get to it.

Alex looked up and saw that Jefferson had moved to the front seat, cattywampus to James. Not one to be left out, Alex walked up to join them. He didn't want to sit, he'd been sitting for so long now, so he stood in the aisle, leaning against one of the seats easily.

James stopped whatever he was saying mid-sentence once he saw Alex approach. He shot him a glance through the rear-view mirror and offered him a small nod. "I was just telling Thomas that we'd be passing another city soon."

Alex felt a tug on his chest. He didn't want another city encounter so soon. He knew he was grimacing as he said, "Which one?"

"Schenectady." Jefferson replied, looking out the windshield. "We had to shift east a bit, apparently."

"I told you, the road was impassable." James replied, sounding a bit annoyed. "This is the only route."

Alex had never been to Schenectady before. It's a fairly big town, they had passed as sign that said "Population: 64,000". They were driving down I-90; rushing past the backsides of once in awhile, Alex can see a zombie stumble by. Even if they were protected by the moving bus, it still sent a shiver down Alex's spine, knowing that those monsters were out there.

"Hey, what's that?" James asked, leaning forward a bit. Jefferson and Alex looked up as well, squinting in the setting sun.

"Can't tell." Jefferson mumbled. He swatted Alex in the stomach and said, "Go get the binoculars."

"We have binoculars?" Alex asked himself as he shuffled to the back of the bus. He found them after a second, they were hidden under a jacket in last seat. He quickly returned to the front of the bus; binoculars in hand. Once he was standing next to Jefferson's seat once again, he looked through them, frowning at what he saw. "It's a couple, I think. A man and a woman."

"Are they infected?" James asked.

"No, doesn't look like it." Alex replied, trying to keep the binoculars steady with the rumble of the bus. "I think they're healthy. It looks like their truck broke down, though."
Jefferson waved dismissively, "Leave them. Not our monkeys, not our circus."

Alex hesitated, lowering the binoculars, "She's pregnant."

"Pull over!" Jefferson said immediately, standing up.

"Thomas-"

"James, stop the bus!"

Alex stumbled as Madison slammed on the breaks unnecessarily. They were still 100 yards away from the couple, but Madison put the bus in park and turned around to look at Jefferson. "Thomas. Don't do something stupid. I know-"

"Shut the fuck up." Jefferson growled, slamming his hand down on the 'open door' button. He jumped out the bus and started running long before James could reach out and stop him. Alex was stunned to silence as he watched Jefferson run up the street, towards the couple. James cussed loudly, slamming his hands on the wheel. He slowly took a deep breath, then started the bus. He moved slowly until they were a few feet away from the couple and Jefferson, who were shaking hands and talking.

"What, um, what-" Alex asked, but James was already jumping out of the bus, stalking up to the group. Alex scrambled after him, surprised by the aggression that was rolling off of him in waves.

The couple were just a little older than himself; the man had a beer belly that would not last long in the apocalypse. The woman had curly hair that stopped just short of her shoulders. Her shirt stretched out over a round belly, clearly far into a pregnancy. They stood next to a rusted truck, that was pulled to the side of the road.

Jefferson had one of the woman's hands clasped in his own. He was listening intently to whatever the man was saying. When Alex stopped next to James, Jefferson spoke, "Don't you worry, we'd be happy to help."

Alex felt like James was going to snap. His expression was tight, his eyes narrowed as he glared daggers into Jefferson's head. Alex shifted on his feet, quietly watching the scene before him.

"And what, per say, are we helping with, Thomas?" James asked.

"This family needs food." Jefferson said, gesturing to the woman, "They've run out and they need more."

"Okay." James said, rubbing his forehead in frustration, "So we'll give them some of our food."

"Oh, no." The man spoke up, "We couldn't possibly- if you could just, maybe, help me go into the city right there, and get some food from there. I promise we'll be out of your hair in no time."

James shook his head, "That's not necessary, you can just have some of our-"

"I insist!" The man said, putting a hand on James' shoulder, "Taking your hard-earned food isn't right. But I don't feel comfortable leaving my wife alone, unarmed, while I scavenge… We just need a little help, see?"

Jefferson was nodding along enthusiastically, "Don't you worry, sir, we'll ensure your wife and you have plenty to eat."

"Thomas."

Jefferson ignored James, continuing, "Hamilton and I will go with you into Schenectady, while James will stay here with your wife."

"Ah, bless you, bless you all." The wife sighed, smiling gratefully up at Jefferson; who offered her a kind smile in return.

"Thomas. A word." James practically growled. Jefferson actually flinched at the tone, mumbling politely to the couple, "One moment please."

Alex followed them as they took a few steps away from the couple, and immediately started arguing. His eyebrows raised as the two practically spit venom at each other in a way Alex hadn't seen before. There was no platonic flirting or cute banter. They looked close to murder.

"We need to keep going; we can't stop to help literal strangers because of your bleeding heart-"

"You don't understand, okay, I need to do this! I can't let-"

"This won't bring Martha back, Thomas!" James shouted. Jefferson froze, his eyes widening as James quietly added, "She's gone."

Alex glanced over at the couple, who was watching them intently. He scratched at his neck nervously, not really wanting to jump into the argument, but knowing that a decision must be made.

"Okay." Alex said, using the low, soothing voice he reserved for his children, "James, you need to go and take a few deep breaths. Jefferson, we'll help this couple. But once we get some supplies and bring the man back here, we don't help anyone else. Understand? We'll be on the road again within two hours. Let this be the one time we extend our hand, okay?"

James shot him a glare, refusing to reply.

Jefferson took his hand and bent down until he caught James' eye, "Jemmy, I have to do this."

Alex held his breath, thinking that James was still going to fight them, until he finally let out a sigh and mumbled, "Fine."

Jefferson pulled him into a hug and pressed a kiss upon his forehead. "Don't worry, darlin', I'll be okay. We'll be right back in no time. Thank you, Jemmy; thank you, darlin'."

James shuffled onto the bus to grab some guns and ammo for them. Meanwhile, Jefferson informed the couple that they'd be more than happy to help them gather supplies. Alex watched at the gentle way Jefferson spoke to the woman, how his gaze flickered down to her swollen belly. He remembered seeing that expression on his own face when Eliza was pregnant. So many questions were at the tip of his tongue, but he didn't speak a single one. That would be saved for a later date, he decided.

James returned and handed Jefferson and Alex a gun each. He kept one on his shoulder and looked to the husband with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry. We only have three."

Alex is well aware of the lie, and by the way Jefferson shot him a dirty look, so was he. But the husband was none the wiser, waving it off easily, "Oh, that's okay. I got my trusty Marucci."

As he spoke, he pulled a metal baseball bat out of the truck, swinging it twice before resting it on his shoulder. James hummed, unimpressed. He looked up to the darkening sky, "Zombies aren't active at night, but you also can't see. So get in and get out. Don't start any fights if they're not necessary. Remember zombies are attracted to noise, so above all else, stay quiet."

"Aye aye, captain." The husband said. Then he turned to his wife and pulled her into a kiss. His hand rested on her belly as he said softly, "I love you so much."

"No," The woman replied, leaning into his touch, "It is I, that loves you so much."

Alex snorted, covering it with a cough. He glanced at Jefferson who was also trying to hold back his laughter. James rolled his eyes and sent them on their way.

As they walked up the ramp to enter the city, the husband kept turning to look at his wife, who stood beside James. Jefferson noticed this and bumped their shoulders goodnaturedly, "Don't worry. She's safe with him. James has the best shot this side of the Mississippi. And, if your concerned about, uh, other things, his ass is asexual." Jefferson paused after a second to add, "And mine."

Alex rolled his eyes and shook his head. The man, however, smiled a bit and said, "That's good to hear. I'm just nervous, leaving her alone like this. She's so far into her pregnancy, I get paranoid, you know?"

"Believe me." Jefferson sighed, "I know."

Alex spoke up then, "When my wife was pregnant with my son, I thought every little thing was out to get her. I almost fought a squirrel for her, once. But now, everything is out to get your wife. So your concern's understandable."

"We'll make sure you get back to her in no time." Jefferson added.

"That's awfully kind of you guys." The husband smiled.

They didn't speak much from that point on. The further they got into Schenectady, the more on edge they became. It was dark, and none of them were smart enough to bring a flashlight. Schenectady was a town of way too many small, shitty houses pressed too close together. They were able to break into one of them, believing that there'd be more supplies in the homes than in the torn up McDonalds.

They opened up strangers' cupboards and cabinets, looking for anything that could be useful to a pregnant woman during the apocalypse. They didn't speak much, only letting out sharp whistles when they were moving onto the next house. By the fifth house, they hadn't seen any zombies, and were a bit more relaxed.

"I think a stoner lived here." Alex whispered, showing Jefferson the collection of DVDs he found, "Ted; Billy Madison; Super Troopers, who else would like this stuff?"

Jefferson chuckled and muttered, "God I wish, maybe we could find some good kush."

"It's the apocalypse, how good could it be?" Alex asked. The DVDs were put back and they continued on their exploration.

As they were outside, moving from one house to another; a sudden high-pitched beeping noise sounded off. Alex and Jefferson whipped around to see the husband patting his pockets. He pulled out a walkie-talkie, smiling down at it, "Oh, that's my girl."

Jefferson frowned, stepping forward, "Is something wrong?"

"Nope." The man said, popping the 'p'. He shoved the walkie-talkie back into his pocket, grabbed his bat with both hands, and started swinging. He hit Jefferson in the leg, sending him onto the ground immediately. Alex got the wind knocked out of him as the metal bat connected with his stomach. He curled in on himself as he tried desperately to suck in a breath, but between the impact and his binder, there was a bigger chance of him hypoventilating than anything.

There was a deep rumble coming from somewhere down the road, the husband grinned widely as the bus - their bus - came flying towards them. It stopped just long enough for the doors to fling open. The husband jumped on and called to them, "Thanks for the help! Little tip, you got company!"

Alex forced his eyes open long enough to see the shuffling of shadows down the road, approaching the loud, metal vehicle next to them. He groaned as the bus doors closed and the couple sped away, leaving them stranded.

Panic started to scramble Alexander's thoughts. His vision was blurring a bit as his breathing failed him. He was choking, suffocating, water was filling his lungs, he was going to die-

Jefferson made a sharp whimpering sound and it was just enough to snap Alex out of it. He took as many even breaths as he could before he turned to Jefferson, who was gripping his leg; barely moving. Alex kept low, not trusting his legs just yet. He crawled over to Jefferson, his hands shaking.

"They- they took our bus! They fucking took our bus!? What do we do!?." Alex asked, obviously distressed. His voice was a bit wheezy and he was a little lightheaded, but he pushed that aside for now. "Jefferson, what- what do we do?!"

Alex shook his shoulder and Jefferson flinched violently before he looked up at him with wide eyes. He let out a small whimper, and Alex could tell he wasn't fully there. There was something about the foggy look in his tear-filled eyes that Alexander just knew meant trouble.

"God damn it, Jefferson, I need you to snap out of it! I don't know what to do! I need you - I-" Alex looked up at the sound of zombies. They weren't so close that they were about to die, but they were close enough that Alex felt like they were about to die. Alex's mouth snapped shut as he stood up. His blood was pumping so loudly in his ears it made it hard to think; his breathing was still shaky and he was running out of time.

His eyes scattered around the area, looking for a way out. Quickly, he decided that being out in the open was the worst possible idea, and so he turned to the nearest house, one of the ones they just scavenged. Without thinking, he reached down, grabbed Jefferson's arm, and yanked until the man stumbled clumsily to his feet. Jefferson cried out in pain, and almost immediately fell again, but Alex shoved himself under the taller man's shoulder, holding him up as well as he could. He forced them to take a quick pace across the yard and into the house. Once they were through the door, Alex twisted around to shut and lock the door. He could hear the zombies outside, slower with the lack of light. They hadn't yet figured out where the humans had hidden. Jefferson was leaning far too heavily on Alex's small frame, and he knew he'd have to put him down soon. He tried to remember where the bathroom was in this house - he knows he saw it when they were scoping it out. He makes a lucky guess and finds it on the second try. Why the bathroom? There's no windows or exits in there. If they stay quiet long enough, the zombies will go away, and they'll be able to escape out the back. At least, that's the plan.

Alex helps Jefferson down so he's sitting on the closed toilet. The man doesn't seem to recognize that he's in a different place. He crumples in on himself, his hands cupping his left thigh. Alex steps forward until Jefferson's head rested on his stomach. He gently runs his fingers through Jefferson's hair while he takes deep breaths. His heart is beating way too fast; he has a stitch in his side and he deeply regrets putting his binder on. Although, if he didn't put it on, it might've been stolen in the bus. Still, his chest fucking hurts.

They spend a few minutes in silence, Alex trying to catch his breath. He thinks about Eliza; about how beautiful she was; how she used to calm him down as soon as she walked in the room; how much he loves her. It helps enough for him to be focused enough to work on the Jefferson Problem.

His fingers scratch gently at Jefferson's scalp as he speaks, "Take deep breaths. It'll be okay. I need you to focus right now. Can you hear me?"

Jefferson makes a small sound from the back of his throat, that might've been affirmation, but Alex isn't completely sure. He chews on his lip while he thinks. There's a noise from outside, and Alex freezes, looking at the closed bathroom door. He stays in that tense position until he's sure there's nothing waiting for them on the other side.

"When the going gets tough, that means it's time to get lost." Alex said, quietly, trying to get some kind of reaction from the man, "So we need to get ready to get going, you know?"

Jefferson gave no response, his breathing coming out rapidly and his eyes shifting from one spot to another distractedly.

"I've never been good at calming people." Alex sighed, giving up. He hid his face in his hands, groaning miserably, "Fuck, James would know what to do."

Jefferson sat up straight suddenly, his eyes seeing through Alex as realization crossed his face. "Fuck! James!"

Alex yelped as Jefferson shoved him aside and threw himself out of the bathroom. Alex scrambled to the door, just in time to see Jefferson disappear out the back of the house. Alex swallowed hard, almost tripping on his way to the back door. When he looked out at the back yard, Jefferson was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit!" Alex hissed, stepping backwards. His back hit the kitchen counter and he slid down to the ground. This could not be happening to him; no, Jefferson wouldn't just abandon him like this, would he? Of course he would. Alex laughed bitterly to himself. "Gotta look out for Number One."

Alex backed himself into a corner, his heart pounding rapidly as he looked around for any sign of help. No one. There was no one.

He was alone.

Tell me what ya think!