Okay here's the latest, finally managed to get this chapter out. Kind of jump from drama to fluff to romance and back again in this update, hope that's alright. Thanks so so much Bookworm, lipamo and zarqa for the kindhearted reviewage. Here goes nothing. More to come soon. :)
As she went to take off her stretch pants, loose fitting top, making the mistake of looking at herself in the mirror Carrie's chin quivered. She felt swollen, huge. Knowing the stretch marks and varicose veins awaiting her when she took off her clothes, she sank down on the edge of the tub in the dingy bathroom. Putting her head in her hands she tried not to be sick.
She almost had been after exerting herself so much during the bar fight. When she wasn't nauseous she felt tired. And acclimating to the lighter dose of meds made her feel like the littlest thing could set her off and send her spiraling. The way she was right now.
"C'mon, Carrie. Open the door," Brody coaxed.
When she ignored him he let himself into the bathroom, rushed to her side when he saw her seated on the edge of the tub in tears.
"Carrie, Jesus. Is it the baby? Are you cramping ag-"
"No. I'm...I'm alright."
His relief changing to sorrow, knowing even if the baby was fine Carrie clearly wasn't, Brody sighed. Knelt down next to and shifted closer to her.
"No, you're not," he sighed. Slipping an arm around her, he bit his lip as one tear slid down her cheek. Then another.
"Nothing is going to happen with Nancy," he assured. "I know with my track record you have reason to..."
Trailing off he sighed, shook his head.
"She isn't going to be a problem, Carrie. I swear."
"Yeah, because I'm the one that's the problem," Carrie spat, shifting away before standing up, bracing herself on the vanity.
"What do you mean?" Brody frowned, standing as well as she bit her lip. Responded after a beat.
"I'm a fucking mess, Brody," she choked out.
"Fucking mess, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about how I'm a fucking mess!" she spat, looking over her shoulder at him. "I started a barfight after breaking out of a mental hospital. I'm huge, hyped up. I haven't slept. I'm having a baby, even though I have a daughter at home who I haven't talked to in months!"
Turning back around she stared down at her hands, gripping the edges of the counter. Setting her palms flat on the vanity she saw they were shaking along with the rest of her.
"Carrie sit down, okay? Sit down," Brody coaxed as she swore. Seeing her hand going to her hair Brody took hold of it, guided her back to the edge of the tub.
"Easy, Carrie. Deep breaths, take it easy," he soothed once they were sitting. Watching, he saw her take a shallow breath, wipe at her eyes.
"C'mon, deep breaths. You're fine. Just talk to me."
"I'm a total wreck, Brody."
"No, you're not."
Scoffing she looked at him incredulously. "Yes. I am. Jesus, who abandons one child and doesn't fucking talk to her so they can go ahead and make another in a mental institution! Who gets the fucking cops called on them after everyone who fucking cares for them, risks everything to try and bail them out of trouble!"
"Carrie, nobody risked-"
"I almost cost Abby and Khan their goddamn jobs. I stole Danny's ID to break into Saul's office, I got the cops called on us, I landed us in a fucking brawl at a bar!"
Thinking back on his injuries and her own from earlier, Carrie shuddered. Thinking of what would have happened if things had escalated.
"Look, if something had happened back there.. who the fuck would take care of Farrah? Jesus, I didn't even think about her when I went after-"
"Hey, hey! Look at me, Carrie. Look at me."
When she refused he sighed, pressed on. "Look, Farrah's okay, love. She's just fine, and we are too. We weren't arrested or questioned because of you. For Christ's sake, you were laughing after we drove off!"
"You weren't," Carrie reminded, blinking back tears as she turned to face him.
"You were already hurt, Brody. Fuck, I saw your bruises in the bedroom. I saw you in the hospital when they had you on the goddamn gurney! The whole time you were in there, that you were unconscious, I...I thought-"
Trailing off, when her hand clasped over her mouth and she sank down off the tub edge, onto the bathmat Brody slid down with her, reached an arm over her shoulder.
"Shhh, hey! Hey..." Pulling her against him as she shook, sobbed, Brody stroked her hair. Kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, love. I'm here, I'm right here."
After her shaking subsided, her breathing returned to normal, sitting up somewhat Carrie reached over, stroked Brody's face before bridging the gap between them, kissing him gently on the lips.
Deepening the kiss, when she responded in turn Brody eventually pulled back. Catching his breath, he smiled seeing streaks of dirt on her cheeks, near her collarbone.
"What's wrong?" Carrie frowned as he lightly laughed, helped her to her feet.
"Nothing. Let's just get cleaned up, okay?" he said, smudging some dirt off her cheek with his thumb. After he showed it to her, Carrie scoffed, stepped back.
"I think I need it more than you, Sergeant."
His smile broadening, when Brody reached for, went to lift her shirt Carrie shook her head, backed away.
"Carrie..."
"It's fine I got it. I...I got it." she stammered. When Brody dropped his hands, took a step back as well Carrie bit her lip. Crossed her arms over herself protectively.
"I can take a shower alone, Brody."
"I know you can," he teased. "But I'm not saying you have to-"
"I want to," she snapped as his smile faded. Dejected, Brody nodded, reached behind him for the door knob.
"Fine. I'll go turn the bed down, okay?"
After exiting, shutting the door behind him Brody went to pull back the bedspread before seeing a small basket on the nightstand. Realizing it contained soap, shampoo and a washcloth, things that Carrie wouldn't get far cleaning up without, quickly grabbing it he cut back to the bathroom.
"Carrie...?" he called, knocking.
When she didn't answer he let himself in, heard jazz blaring from the radio on the vanity. Rolling his eyes at the volume he walked over, pulled the shower curtain aside just enough to hand the basket to her. Scaring her in the process.
"What the...Brody!" Yanking the curtain back slightly Carrie poked her head through the gap, glared.
"What?" he scoffed. "I thought you'd need this."
"And that you'd reenact the scene from fucking Psycho to give it to me!" she spat, snatching the basket from him.
"For Christ's sake. I knocked and you didn't hear... Jesus. Look just forget it!"
Agitated he yanked the curtain closed again, only to have the shower rod holding it up give out, fall to the bathroom floor with a clang.
Startled, Carrie jumped backwards in the tub. With her back pressed to the tiles the shower stream reached, sprayed all over Brody.
"Fucking son of a..." Shaking his head, lifting the rod and the curtain, he hastily attempted to reattach it all before it fell again.
"Fuck. Just leave it, Brody," Carrie hissed, turning away from him. "Just do me a favor and close the fucking door. Maybe try not to knock it off its hinges on the way out!"
Moving the downed curtain and rod aside, Brody's jaw clenched before his features went softer, seeing Carrie's tense, uncomfortable stance in the tub.
"You really don't want me seeing you, do you?" he asked as she snorted, wrapped her arms tighter around her.
Taking off his soaked shirt, pants, after he stripped out of his boxers Brody joined her in the tub.
"Carrie..."
Rubbing her shaking shoulders he gently turned her towards him. Seeing her stretch marks, her trembling and that she was still avoiding his eyes, he assumed they were what was bothering her the most.
Not sure of what to say to her he instead reached down, traced the marks across her abdomen with his free hand before using his other to thumb the streaks on her left, then right breast.
"Brody..."
When he bent his head, kissed them one by one as well Carrie shuddered. Looked down at him briefly before taking hold of his head, bringing his lips back to her's.
Eventually, his hands moving to her hips Brody turned her to face the wall of the shower. Reaching, teasing between her thighs with his fingers he moved his left hand, than his right to her breast. Then moved closer and inside her. Slowly at first before speeding up as Carrie cursed at, encouraged him before crying out.
They made love in the shower until the spray went cold. Laughing, Carrie reached to turn the water off while Brody stepped out of the tub. Swearing, not seeing what he was looking for he rolled his eyes, left the bathroom search of towels.
"Hurry, Sergeant. I'm fucking freezing!" Carrie scoffed, stepping out of the tub as Brody walked back in the bathroom, approached her before wrapping her in a large white bath towel. When he went to try and secure it around her, reached for her chest in the process Carrie rolled her eyes, moved his hands.
"Hey!" he pouted.
"Hey, you already had your fun in there," she snorted, nodding to the shower as he grinned.
"From the sound of it you did too," Brody said playfully as she rolled her eyes, smirked.
When he turned though to wrap his towel around himself, snatching it from him Carrie dried the ends of her hair, then draped the towel around her shoulders.
"Hey!" Brody protested. "Look, I grabbed enough for two, not one!"
"Well I'm drying off for two," Carrie retorted, getting a look that got her grinning. Running out into the hallway she laughed, scrambled onto the bed.
Chasing after her Brody shook his head, leaping onto the bed before trying to wrestle the towel away from her. Hearing her gasp though he jumped back, fearing he'd hurt her.
"Carrie, shit. Are you okay? What happened, what-"
Anxiously watching her sit up, her back straight against the headboard, when Carrie bowed her head, moved her hand to her belly Brody's blood ran cold.
"What is it, love. What-"
"Holy fuck," Carrie breathed. Reaching for Brody's hand she laughed, shook her head. "Oh my God..."
Realizing what sensation she'd felt he laughed in turn, feeling a sharp kick to his right hand.
"You felt it, right?" Carrie asked as he laughed.
"Yeah I did."
Grinning, he kissed the side of her head before curling around her in bed. Keeping his hand in place as he watched, rubbed her bare belly.
"Future soccer star, right?"
"Yeah..." she nodded, sniffling. "Right."
Smile fading Brody sat up, looked at her. "Carrie? You okay?"
When he thumbed a tear off her cheek she sniffed, nodded.
"Yeah. I just..."
"What?"
"I just, when I told Farrah that babies kicked she got scared. Thought it would try and hurt me,"
"That sounds like something she'd say," Brody smiled softly, rubbing her back. "What did you tell her?"
"Maggie came over with one of Josie's baby shoes. Said a foot that size couldn't hurt anyone that much," Carrie snorted, wiping her eyes as Brody moved his arm, shifted away from her.
"What are you doing?"
"Hang on a second," Brody said, swinging his legs off the bed as he reached for his phone.
"Jesus. Remember who you're talking to, Marine," Carrie snorted, getting up as well to dry off, put on his flannel shirt.
Turning back to the bed she saw him listening to a voicemail and frown, swear under his breath.
"What's the matter?" she asked, climbing back on the bed as he hung up.
"I was gonna try and call Maggie. See if she could get Farrah here."
"And what?"
"She left a message. Said they're back from the cabin but Farrah's spending the night somewhere with Josie."
"Oh."
Watching her lie down again, try and fail to hide her disappointment, Brody bit his lip. Picked the phone back up.
"Brody..."
"Look I'm gonna call and ask Maggie where. I can leave now and get Farrah back here."
"Brody don't. Don't," Carrie sighed, putting a staying hand on his chest.
"It's not a problem, Carrie. I can leave right now, I-"
"No. It's late. She's probably asleep by now anyway, I don't-"
Voice breaking she curled up more against the pillow, sighed.
"Hey, it's fine, I can just..."
"No, don't go," she choked out. Twining her hand with his she looked up at him watery eyed. "I...It's been a long day. I want you here,"
"You're sure?"
Nodding, Carrie sniffed, managed a smile as Brody leaned in, kissed her gently. Cupping her face with his free hand he budded his nose with her's, then brought their joined hands back to rest on her belly.
"Alright. Can I get you anything? Sardines? Pickles? A hot fudge sundae?"
"Just the light. I'm tired," Carrie yawned.
After reaching over, doing as asked Brody moved closer, stroked Carrie's hair as her eyes went heavy, heavier still.
"Close your eyes then, okay? I'll be right here when you wake up, okay?"
"Okay. I...I love you," Carrie whispered as he smiled, kissed her forehead.
"I love you too."
"Thank you, for ev-"
"Shhh, try and get some sleep."
Cuddling closer to her, after she finally drifted off Brody carefully shifted away from her and off of the bed. Grabbed his phone before going back to the bathroom, dialing. Relieved to get an answer on the second ring.
"Maggie, it's me. Look as soon as you get Farrah tomorrow morning, I...I need you to bring her to this address. Yeah, I'll text it to you, just get her here as early as you possibly can, okay? It...it's important."