What felt like an eternity had passed since Tony had fled the room, yet as Steve glanced up towards the clock hanging on the wall he realized it had only been a few hours.
He stared at the ceiling, mulling over his conversation with the eccentric inventor. That was all he had been doing since the man had left, unable and unwilling to go back to sleep.
Finally pulling himself from his mind, Steve came to a decision. It was going to be difficult, with his head was still swimming and his body no where near recovered, but he couldn't stand laying around anymore.
He had spent enough time strapped to a table in that laboratory.
He didn't want to think about it, he wouldn't allow his mind to drift back there. Back to what he thought was going to be his demise, and it would have been if he stayed here much longer.
The super soldier groaned as he pushed his traitorous thoughts aside and shifted himself into a sitting position, wincing as his ribs screamed in protest.
The world around him began to spin and nausea swept over him, he tried to swallow the bile that formed in his throat. He knew had nothing in his stomach to eject, so he could only hope his body would realize that as well.
Pulling himself into a standing position proved harder than he had hoped, but he managed to struggle to his feet. Bracing himself against the wall, he blinked a few times as he waited for the room to stop spinning long enough for him to walk.
Steve began moving, breathing out and taking in his surroundings for the first time since he had woken up.
Abruptly he realized he was in Tony Stark's wing of the Compound, and he froze, blinking. Confusion mixing with curiosity stirred in his chest as he looked at the guest room with interest.
Why had Tony brought him here? He could have taken him to his own room, or the infirmary, even, but he had chosen to bring him here.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y?" Steve ventured, curious if the AI would even respond to him at all after everything he had done.
It didn't escape him that F.R.I.D.A.Y had been present for the ordeal with Tony. That she had seen, for lack of a better word, and heard everything that had happened between them.
"Yes, Captain Rogers?"
Well, I have something going for me, he thought to himself.
"Why did Tony bring me to his wing, why not my own? Or the infirmary?" He questioned with a serious tone, biting the inside of his lip.
"Mr. Stark thought it best to bring you here so he could keep an eye on you," the AI sounded annoyed with him. Yet it didn't surprise him, he had expected it.
"I see," Steve replied, growing softer, "where is he?"
"He is currently in his workshop, and doesn't wish to be disturbed."
Steve heard the unstated so don't disturb him in the AI's voice.
"Alright," he said, his voice turning into a mutter.
Leaving Tony alone to work out his feelings and giving him space was the best idea. It was possible that the inventor might approach him, and Steve knew he needed longer than a few hours to process the emotions he had displayed before he had fled the room.
Yet something in him wasn't keen on letting the situation lie where it did. If he knew anything about Tony Stark, it was that he would definitely avoid this until it couldn't be avoided any longer.
He would give the genius time, but if the opportunity came, he couldn't resist trying once again to offer the man an olive branch.
"Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y," Steve murmured, forcing his sluggish body to make his own way down the hall way.
At first he watched his feet, carefully trying to avoid tripping over them. It had been forever, it felt like, since he had walked anywhere, since he had been able to move free of any sort of bondage. Ross had been terrified that if he were allowed to move, he would have found a way to free himself, so he had kept him under lock and key.
Steve tore his gaze away from his feet and looked up, taking in the sights and sounds of the Compound. The familiar surroundings assaulted him all at once, and his mind was finally hit with the realization that he was home.
He wasn't at the Raft prison, he wasn't in a lab, he wasn't in Siberia or on some mission, he was finally back home after so many months. He was here and as far as he knew, his team was rousing about somewhere here too.
They were safe, and he was safe, at least for the time being, but that was more than enough.
The revelation caused him to cry in relief, much to his own surprise. His steps faltered and he had to brace himself against a wall for a moment, taking in deep breaths as relieved sobs wracked his body.
Bracing himself did little to help as his knees buckled, giving out beneath him, and he hit the floor.
Steve tried to contain it, tried to push it away, but he found that he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. It seemed that his body and mind were rebelling against him, there was nothing he could do to stop the stem of tears that streamed down his face.
Somewhere in the back of his mind Tony knew that it was better to address your problems rather than run from them. Yet in the end it was always easier for him to push them as far out of his mind as possible. It was easier to pretend that nothing had never happened.
It was easier to bury himself in work, alcohol, or both, rather than his own thoughts as he had intended to do.
He started out contemplating the conversation he had with Captain America, to be fair. He had intended to try and work through some of his own feelings, but he didn't.
He instead allowed himself to get distracted in his latest update for his suit. Steve Rogers along with every thought associated with him became irreverent after that.
His workshop was the place where he thought the best, where he worked out things the easiest, but in this situation it was something he didn't want to do. Not now, and maybe not ever.
Looking down at his suit always seemed to cause pride to swell up in his chest, it was an emotion that was hard to avoid, not that the man wanted to avoid it.
Upgrading the casing around the arc reactor to make it more resilient against attacks had never crossed his mind until the battle in Siberia, but now he realized that it was a good idea. If anyone realized how the suit worked it was a vulnerability, and it was obvious now that he thought about it.
"Boss?" F.R.I.D.A.Y's quizzical voice broke through his train of thought and he glanced up, almost annoyed.
"What is it, F.R.I.D.A.Y?"
"Captain Rogers is showing signs of serious distress, sir."
The bitterness rose into his throat again as Steve Rogers came back into his mind by the mention of his name. A small scoff rose into Tony's throat and he shook his head, sitting the wrench he held in his hand aside and crossing his arms.
"What's the problem? Is he having another nightmare?" He was content to leave the man to deal with it on his own if that were the case, it's not as if they were friends.
"No, sir," the AI replied, "he has made his way into the hallway and collapsed, his blood pressure is slightly elevated."
A sigh tore through his lips, but he couldn't help but move out the door and to the aid of his comrade.
Tony made his way down the hall in a hurry, and what he saw caused his heart to still and all the hurt and anger he felt towards the man to melt away from his body.
"Rogers?" The question, followed by a rather surprised sounding swear tore through the air. In an instant the inventor crouched down beside him, and Steve shifted a bit, his body stiffening up.
"Good grief, first I find you screaming bloody murder and now I find you crumpled up sobbing in the hallway? Get it together, soldier."
Tony's voice sounded tense, but it looked as if it was easy for Steve to tell there was no malice behind the words. He was certain his words sounded laced with confusion, but even he could hear the concern in his own voice.
"Come on, old man, let's get you back to your room, huh?"
"No," Steve's voice was course and rough as he shook his head, "no, I'll be fine, give me a moment."
Tony thinned his lips, looking down at the man with a critical expression.
"Are you sure, Cap?"
The nod that Steve forced looked unconvincing, and Tony's lips curled into a frown.
When the AI had alerted him to Steve's episode, he hadn't been expecting this. Tony never imagined that he would find him like this, looking both completely relieved and broken at the same time.
"Lounge?" Tony suggested as he looked at the super soldier, who didn't seem much like a soldier at the moment.
"Alright," Steve choked, struggling to his feet.
Tony reached out and grabbed the man by the shoulder, helping haul him onto his feet and urging him to put some of his weight on him. It was clear that the man was going to have a difficult time walking on his own, and Tony wasn't wrong in his assumption.
The man stumbled every step or two, his body not cooperating with him.
"Rogers, you're aware that even though you're Captain America, Ross used you as a pin cushion, drained your blood like a vampire and only you know what else. The sensible thing to do would be to take it easy, don't you think?" Tony groused.
When Steve didn't answer, Tony had to bite back his annoyance as he looked over at the super soldier. The man seemed distant and tired, a haunted expression flickered over his face before he chased it away and forced himself to the present.
"I'm alright," the man insisted.
"You know, I highly doubt that," Tony shot, shaking his head. "People who're alright, they usually don't break down in a heap of obviously very manly tears in the hallway."
Steve let out a soft chuckle and it was hard for Tony to shake the warm, happy feeling that spread through his chest. It was a nice feeling, making other people laugh at his antics. He preferred it to the typical annoyed response everyone usually offered, though if someone were to mention it he would deny it.
A comfortable air surrounded them for a moment, and an almost comfortable silence settled around them.
"Are you alright?" Steve asked after a moment, "F.R.I.D.A.Y said you were in your workshop and you didn't want to be disturbed, why are you here?"
Of course, it was so much like the man to shatter the peaceful atmosphere around them. It was funny how the warm feeling could melt into a hot, uneasy, and angry feeling, especially when Steve Rogers was involved.
"I'm not so much of a self-centered narcissist that I'm going to ignore you collapsing in the hall, Rogers. No matter what you think."
"Tony," Steve stammered, sounding taken aback, "that isn't what I meant."
"Of course not, you're a very polite person," he parroted his own words, pushing whatever bitterness he could muster into them.
"You aren't being fair," Steve started, his voice raising a little.
"I'm not being fair, this is about being fair now?" Tony shot. "Funny, you didn't care much about fair when you and Barnes tag teamed on me."
"You're no where near over any of this, are you?" Steve questioned, his tone hardening into a serious one.
"Did you expect me to be?" The low growl that worked its way into his throat surprised even Tony. He thought he was pass this, he thought he could handle being around Steve after everything that had happened.
He was wrong, which was a dilemma, because no matter what he wanted, for the time being at least, he was stuck with the man. Tony couldn't kick him out and it wasn't as if he himself could up and leave. It would be suspicious after everything that had transpired, and he had a feeling that Ross was already suspicious.
A small uncharacteristic shrug was all the got as a response at first from the super soldier. After a moment or two ticked by, Steve's voice cut through the silence again.
"Will you ever be?"
"Now that? That's a question I actually don't have the answer to," Tony murmured.
"He actually won, didn't he?" Steve said, his voice solemn as stared straight ahead, refusing to look towards Tony in the slightest. "At least as far as we're concerned," he finished.
"What?" Tony asked, bewildered.
"An empire that topples from within, that's dead," Steve echoed the words as well as he could, remembering the moment before everything so thoroughly fell apart. It had been broken before, but the moments after blurred into watching it dissolve into nothing.
Tony glanced at the man as the pair of them walked into the lounge, it did seem that Helmut Zemo had won. The man had gotten exactly what he had wanted, and what was funny was that Tony felt powerless to stop him.
Fighting the emotions that rolled around inside of his chest was hard, given time it was possible it could pass and he could deal with it in a healthy way. He could let Steve Rogers in again, but somehow he was doubtful.
He wasn't exactly known for dealing with things in a healthy way, and he was aware that in the end he usually wound up messing everything up himself.
So maybe the villain had truly won, it looked as if only time would tell.
Authors Note:
Sorry it's taken a bit longer to get this chapter out than usual! I actually started out with a bit of writers block, and about the time I was forcing myself out of it and wrote half of the chapter, my computer freaked out and the file became corrupt. Everything I had written was permanently gone, but in the end it worked out better! I wound up taking the chapter in a totally different direction than what I had intended, and I much prefer the way it came out!
A little heads up, however, I have some stuff going on in my personal life right now and I'll be taking a trip out of state the beginning of next week. So unless I'm able to finish one more chapter before I head out, the next chapter probably won't be out for at least a week and a half or potentially just a little bit longer. I'll be back at it just as soon as I can!
Also, one more thing! If anyone is ever curious about the status of the next chapter, I update my profile semi-regularly to say where I'm at with it! So feel free to take a look from time to time if you're ever curious. =)
Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!