A/N: Yeah, bit of a cliffhanger and a bit of a wait. My classes are horrible, but finals are next week and then I'm done until September. Thank Brian.

Fun Fact: Loth listened to Saosin to get into the mood for this chapter.

Raising a Hand

by LQ Aredhel

Chapter 24

JD's vision swam in and out and it took him a moment to realize through his pounding migraine that Daniel was no longer in front of him. He tilted his head up, and squinted hard enough to see Dr. Cox sitting across from him, but not looking at him. He was watching the door. Where was Daniel?

His hearing and vision rushed back to him suddenly and JD could hear someone pounding at the door to the apartment. It was Carla, yelling something about the truth, once and for all, and then Dr. Cox turned to him and almost seemed to smile; the despair was gone, at least.

We're saved? JD wondered to himself. He didn't really believe it.

Soon enough, Daniel entered the room from the kitchen with a large butcher's knife. He went directly to Dr. Cox, completely ignoring JD.

"Good boy, Perry," Daniel cooed. Dr. Cox just glared at him, and JD noticed for the first time the blood dripping down the side of his head and onto his shoulder. That couldn't be good. "Now," Daniel continued, "tell them that Johnny isn't here, and that they need to go away." He twirled the knife in his hands menacingly. It was an obvious threat, and JD wondered who it was directed at...who would he punish if Dr. Cox yelled for her to call 911?

Dr. Cox met JD's eye for a moment and he knew that his mentor was thinking the same thing. Would it be worth it for one of them to go down? JD suddenly longed for the knife to be against his throat so that he could call out. He could save Dr. Cox and end his own misery.

"Go away, Carla," Dr. Cox grumbled just loud enough for the pounding to stop.

"Perry, let me in! I want to know what's going on!" Now she's asking question, JD thought bitterly. Before, she'd just assumed the worst.

Daniel prodded Dr. Cox's shoulder with the point of the knife when he didn't respond, making him shout, "Nothing's going on, now will you mind your own goddamn business?!" Then he took a stuttering breath, in obvious pain. He probably had as bad a migraine as JD.

"Percival Cox, I will break this door down," Carla threatened. Daniel cursed. "JD, I know you're in there! You owe us both an explanation."

JD groaned; Turk was out there as well. He could hear his anxious voice arguing quietly with her behind the door. He tilted his head down – which caused him more pain that he expected – enough to see that his boxers were halfway down his thighs. Daniel was fully dressed, but JD didn't know how long he'd been out...hours? Or mere seconds? Hell, he wasn't even sure if he had passed out or if he'd just been dazed. Did anything happen? He pulled his knees into his chest, almost wishing Carla and Turk weren't trying to break into the apartment.

The knife pressed into Dr. Cox's shoulder, drawing a tiny stream of blood. "Get her the fuck out of here," Daniel advised, his calm demeanor lost.

Dr. Cox was looking at JD...trying to tell him something? JD searched his hazy mind for an explanation, but none came. Then Dr. Cox yelled, "You do your best Carla. I believe in you."

The knife pressed in deeper and Daniel quietly fumed, "What the hell was that?" JD was confused as well; there was no response from the hallway.

"Sarcasm?" Dr. Cox suggested.

All three men were watching the door, listening silently for a response. After some whispering, footsteps rushed down the hall, away from the apartment. Daniel let out a long sigh.

"I wish I could say you were getting a reward for that," he told Dr. Cox, moving away to place the knife on an end table, "but it just made me more pissed off. And look who's ready for more."

JD carefully raised his head to look at his former best friend, who strutted toward him, eyes filled with hate and malice. And lust.

Before Daniel made it halfway to him, there was a huge BANG! and the door crashed open, splinters flying where the lock was in the wall. Turk stumbled in holding his shoulder, Carla close at his heals, and stopped dead when he looked up at the scene in front of him. Everyone was stunned for a moment.

Daniel lunged for the knife, but Dr. Cox anticipated the move and lurched himself to his feet and swung his chair into Daniel's back, knocking him into Turk who caught the man and pulled his hands behind his back.

"What the hell?" Turk cried. His eyes fell on JD's frame, curled up against the bathroom door, long arms stretched above his head and blood matting his hair. JD blushed, trying desperately to cover himself with his legs, but he was so filled with relief that he just felt like passing out instead. Dr. Cox had fallen back onto his chair. His head hung over his chest and JD wondered if he'd stolen his idea and passed out.

Daniel was screaming something as he flailed in Turk's grasp, but JD couldn't make it out. Carla had backed against the shattered door, her hand over her mouth obviously in shock. Dr. Cox yelled something at her and she struggled to remove her phone from her pocket. Turk shook Daniel, said something to him, looked back at JD. JD smiled at him as best he could and laid his head back against the door to take a quick nap.

Some time later he woke to someone lifting his eyelids and shining a light in his eye. Very rude.

"Stoppit," he slurred. There was some woman in front of him and his shoulders ached. She opened the other eye and shined a light there too, and when JD flung his arm at her to get her to go away he realized that he was no longer tied up.

He slowly opened his eyes and the ceiling fan from Dr. Cox's living room. And the annoying woman who was saying something and holding his wrist. She touched his neck and he flinched away, scrambling back until the back of his head met the side of a couch.

"Sir, don't worry, I'm just checking your vitals," the woman explained. There were other people in the room, EMT he realized. Dr. Cox was being checked out on the couch...he wasn't even making a fuss, just sitting there answering questions. Carla and Turk were by the door. Talking to police officers. Daniel was missing again. Panic welled up in JD's chest.

"Where is he?" he demanded, his voice husky. The woman glanced around the room and started to say something, but JD cut her off. "Where's Daniel? Where is he? Is he coming back?" He twisted his head, ignoring his piercing headache, trying to see into the kitchen. He was starting to breathe too hard.

Dr. Cox rushed to his side. "He's gone, JD. The cops took him, he's in lockup again. Doubt they'll let him out on bale this time. Not after this." He almost sounded happy.

JD nodded and caught his breath. He glanced down and was pleased to see that someone had pulled up his shorts. He relaxed against the couch and almost nodded off again when the paramedics started talking above him.

"Radio for a stretcher, this guy's probably got a serious concussion. He made need stitches, too."

"No, no hospital," JD urged, his eyes fluttering back open. Now everyone was gathered around him, watching him. He tried to wrap his arms around his chest but sharp pain flared up again in his shoulders. "I don't want to go to the hospital again. God, I'm so tired of being in the hospital."

"Sir, you need medical attention –" the female EMT began, but was cut off by Dr. Cox.

"I'm a doctor. We've got a nurse and a surgeon. He should be fine here." He looked down at JD, who was sighing gratefully. "If you want to stay here?" JD nodded.

Then he was in a bed, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. His head was still pounding – now wrapped lightly in gauze – but at least his shoulders weren't as sore. He grabbed the glass of water on the table next to him and swallowed it all down.

There were voices coming from beyond the bedroom door. It was Dr. Cox's room, he finally realized, and rose from the bed to peered through a crack in the door.

"Well, I'm sorry if I jumped to conclusions, but what was I supposed to think?" Carla's voice.

"You were supposed to give him the godamn benefit of the doubt. For God's sake he's your friend."

"Hey," Turk broke in. "I never doubted JD. I know he's not like that."

"Then what was going on, Perry?" Carla demanded. "Why was he acting like that? Like he was depressed? Bambi doesn't get depressed!" There was no response. "He said that Daniel hit him. Twice. Is that was this is about? Daniel was some bully that knocked him around? Why didn't he tell us? We could have helped him!"

God, could they really have helped me? JD wondered. Uncertainly filled him. Of course, it was all his fault; if he had realized what was going on sooner, maybe he could have told them. Maybe things would have gone differently. He quietly entered the room.

"Daniel wasn't just some bully, it went deeper than that!" Dr. Cox yelled back, pointing angrily at Carla as he paced the middle of the living room. Turk sat on the couch, his chin in his hands. "You think Priscilla would really be stupid enough to allow some stranger to beat the shit out of him and not tell anyone?"

"What are you trying to say, Perry? That they were friends? Closer than friends?" Carla looked so anxious; her words came shooting out, but she looked like she was about to cry, standing defensively with her arms wrapped around her waste. She was so confused, so lost, so uncertain about what to do.

"It was an accident," JD spoke, his voice hoarse. Everyone turned to him. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear. I-If I could have told someone, I would have." Dr. Cox sneered at that, but said nothing. He also had a bandage around his head, and one wrapped around his shoulder.

"It just...it all happened so fast," JD explained. God, how could he make them see? How could he tell them what happened without changing the way they looked at him forever. He reflexively tried to run a hand through his hair and it just hit gauze. He laughed humorlessly. "It was stupid, just another stupid, stupid mistake that got everyone in trouble." He avoided Dr. Cox's eyes, his pale face, and tried not to think of everything he'd put him through. And for what? So that JD could stand, trembling, in his living room in front of a busted television.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys what was going on. And I'm really sorry that I dragged you into this, Dr. Cox."

Everyone was silent. There, that was enough, wasn't it? Now he could go back into the bedroom and sleep for another 16 hours; his knees felt wobbly already after a few minutes of standing.

"JD," Carla called, stopping him as he began to turn back toward the room. "Please. Just tell us what happened?"

JD found that funny, and laughed a little. It made him more tired. "I can't even talk about it to my therapist," he murmured. "Dr. Cox can tell you." That made the older doctor glare at him sharply.

"Like hell I will," he grumbled. "Newbie, I don't want to talk about this anymore than you do, but for you it's at least therapeutic."

JD swallowed thickly; he hadn't expected that. He looked frantically around the room, searching for an out. "Uh...shouldn't Elliot be here? She...she'll want to know, too..." Would it make it easier or harder if she's there? He wasn't sure. But if Daniel hadn't destroyed all of Dr. Cox's scotch – and if JD didn't have a concussion – he'd definitely be getting drunk for this.

Carla was crying. Damn. "Please, JD. I just need to know. I need to know whether there was anything I could have done. Do you understand? What if this is my fault?"

JD shook his head. "I'm really tired." He moved back into the bedroom, ignoring the guilt flaring up in his chest. They did deserve to know, didn't they? He just couldn't...say it out loud. How was he supposed to explain it to them?

Dr. Cox followed him into the room and watched him clamber under the blankets. "It really would do you some good to get it off your chest."

JD lay facing away from him. "Please. Can't you just tell them? I'm so tired."

"Sleep, but be prepared to let it all out in the morning."

"I can't. I can't even say it. I can't watch them while I say it." They were both silent for a moment. "He's really gone?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, JD. He's gone."

"It's just...he felt gone before, too. After the knife. I really thought I'd never see him again. What if something else happens, and he comes back? What will he do? He'll find me again." JD stopped when he realized that he was just mumbling his thoughts out loud. But Dr. Cox responded anyway.

"I don't know. I really tried. I tried to make up for not noticing before, but I couldn't protect you."

JD shrugged, his eyes slinking closed. "Not your job."

"I tried to keep you safe. God, I sound corny as hell. It's the concussion. Newbie...I can only promise to.. to try again. To protect you."

"Feels safe here," JD murmured, almost asleep. He barely heard Dr. Cox snort, and then snort again. Was he laughing?

At least it was over.