"Good evening Lewis," Anne smiled to the Darcy's butler as she adjusted her white evening gloves so they sat neatly above her elbow. "There is quite a chill in the air this evening. I shall be in need of a fur trim soon I believe; one can hardly believe it is summer."
The young maid, who moments ago had helped Anne from her outerwear, now stood to the side holding Anne's dark red demi-length pelisse. Anne thanked her for her assistance, and with a nod from Lewis, the girl and the jacket were gone.
A peel of high-pitched laughter radiated through the house from the drawing room. Anne looked at Lewis with much curiosity.
"Lewis, do I hear Mrs Hurst? I was under the impression it was only the family to dine this evening."
Before Lewis had the chance to reply Georgiana suddenly appeared like some fairy sprite as though from nowhere. Linking her arm through Anne's she pulled her cousin close and remarked;
"Thank heavens you are here cousin. I have been waiting in the parlour for you to arrive. I did not wish to go into the drawing room without your company."
"Do I hear Mrs Hurst?" Anne repeated falling into step beside Georgiana as the two began down the hallway.
'Mr Hurst called upon my brother but not one hour ago. I do not know the reason why, but he left quite promptly. I had just finished dressing when he returned just before seven with Mrs Hurst. It would appear Fitzwilliam invited them to dine with us this very evening. I am glad you are here. Mrs Hurst will not ask me so many questions when I have you with me for protection."
"Oh, Georgie," Anne laughed, squeezing Georgiana's hand which sat in the crook of her elbow. "That is not a very charitable way of thinking... However true it may be."
No sooner had the ladies entered the drawing room, but they were accosted by a most energetic Louisa.
"There you are, heavens Anne, I was beginning to wonder if all was well. For you did say you were due to dine at seven; and yet you were not to be seen. But all is well! For here you are! And my, you have brought little Georgiana with you. Though not so little! My how tall you have grown. Each time I see you, I am simply all astonishment at how tall you have grown. Mr Hurst, Mr Hurst!" Louisa called across the room.
The gentleman upon hearing his name turned his head to look in the direction of his wife. He had, until that moment, been quite content discussing his sizeable win at Epsom with Mr Darcy and his most agreeable cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"Does not Miss Darcy appear to have grown quite tall, and in but such a short duration. I am all astonishment at how tall she has grown, are you not also quite astonished?"
Mr Hurst gave only a small nod of the head as way of reply and turned his attention towards the gentleman once more.
"See, you see," Mrs Hurst cried, "even Mr Hurst is all astonishment. I dare say you will never be as tall as my dear sister, who else else could ever be expected to reach such a height! Come ladies let us sit and converse; for it has been such an age since the three of us were last so intimately together. Why it must be a full sennight at least since I have had the pleasure of your company."
"Why Lousia, for my part I only had the pleasure of your company not more than two hours hence," replied Anne as she took a seat upon the settee. "You gave me not one hint that I would also have the pleasure of your company this evening."
"Oh la, Anne! How could I give you any such hint when I simply did not know, at that very moment, that I should be in attendance? As soon as I arrived home at Grosvenor Street, I said to Mr Hurst that he should call upon Mr Darcy. For I was most certain he would be glad to know we were once again back in town."
"You left town?" Georgiana asked looking towards Anne. Clearly, she had not noticed the Hurst's absence either.
"Why yes, we were absent for near on four days! I was certain your brother would be relieved to know we had all returned safely; so, I sent Mr Hurst to tell him the news. I could tell Anne, by your demeanour earlier, that you were rather agitated that our reunion could not continue due to your looming prearranged engagement with your cousins; but as you can see my plan worked most perfectly. Now we can be together all evening!"
Georgiana moved her mouth, letting her bottom lip drop as though wishing to comment further, but no sound followed. She looked to Anne who merely sat with a bemused smile. As Louisa continued to talk, as Louisa was accustomed to do, Anne discreetly patted the back of Georgiana's hand and gave her a knowing smile. At least in Louisa's presence there would be no threat of awkward pauses in the evening's conversation. Anne found conversation in the presence of Richard under Darcy's all-knowing eye rather awkward. She knew Darcy was well aware of her preference for their cousin. Though she was most certain he was not aware that these feelings had begun to dim in comparison to the shining light of another.
Across the room, Richard stood watching Anne from his position by Darcy's side. She looked tired this evening. Her appearance somehow seemed to lack the usual glow and open sense of joy he had been used to witnessing of late. It seemed London life wore well on Anne. This surprised him. Perhaps it was that she had simply flourished in the absence of Rosings Park and the ever-watchful eye of her mother. She had become well integrated into the London set in a very short space of time; becoming a firm favourite amongst the fashionable matriarch women whom frequented Almacks and the like. To be so accepted by the pillars of London society was no mean feat indeed. Yes, it surprised him greatly that meek little Anne was indeed not so meek and mild after all. Her name was becoming very well-known and respected amongst the London set; not to mention the knowledge of her wealthy independence. Yes, Anne had surprised him greatly.
He took in the pleasing style of her thick auburn hair, wondering how long it would be when undone and loose about her pale shoulders. He cast his eye down the bare, pale skin of her décolletage, taking in the deep scalloped neckline of her Moss green dress. He did love a lady in full-dress, her almost bare shoulders and the shallow cut of her gown were both elegant and exceedingly tempting. Green suited his cousin very well, the colour of her gown only accentuated the golden flecks of her eyes.
With his eyes and thoughts quite focused in Anne's direction, Richard did not perceive Darcy's interested observation. As Darcy spoke to Mr Hurst, he kept one curious eye on Richard and his unflinching gaze upon Anne.
Ever since that rather awkward moment, in this very drawing room, upon Richards sudden appearance that night; he could not help but wonder what Richards intentions might be towards there genteel cousin. The pain which had radiated from Richards person upon his assumption that the two were already wed had been almost audible. The relief and astonishment upon his face at Anne's confirmation that such a plan had not, and would never be, could not be missed.
Darcy had long observed Anne's reaction when in the company of Richard. The girl had probably been in love with her dashing older cousin and his scarlet coat long before any realisation of such feelings had occured. Looking back at his past behaviour and his rash attempts at entering into a marriage contract of convenience with Anne; he felt a fool for not noticing her preference sooner. Neither wonder such an idea had been to abhorrent to his young cousin. Not only was the girl most sensible in her refusal, she had cared for another.
Darcy had much to thank Anne for. If she had not been so strong in character and unyielding to the pressures of family expectations, they may have been married by now. Although he cared for Anne, he did not love her. He thought of the woman whom he could not forget. Her dark eyes and pretty face flooded his thoughts at every opportunity. Her quick wit and vitality he could also neither ignore. How often he wondered if she would find something amusing or what her opinion on a matter might be. He longed to be in her company once more, yet after such a rejection in Kent, had no desire to ever be in the company of Miss Elizabeth Bennet ever again. He was no fool. He would not allow his heart to expose him to such a careless display of sentiment ever again.
Yet while observing Richard, Darcy was rather perplexed by the look upon his cousin's face. A mix of longing and anguish. Darcy knew the feelings only too well. But why did Richard appear so conflicted? If it was only the assumption that Anne was betrothed to him, well, Richard now knew that was indeed not the case. Why had Richard not acted upon his feelings? Richard was not normally shy where matters involving the opposite sex were concerned.
He thought of Lord Colville. Darcy liked the gentleman and was quite certain the Viscount was more partial to Anne than she would allow herself to believe. He thought back to their discussion when he asked if she believed Lord Colville could desire more from their friendship. She had at the time seemed more preoccupied by the notion that such a man would be unlikely to attach himself to someone like her; not that she found such a notion unwelcome. Darcy had chastised his cousin for being so severe upon herself. The two seemed quite content when in each other's company. He often observed their easy manners with envy. He often wished he himself could only find someone with whom he could converse and enjoy their company with such ease. He often wondered, if given time and under different circumstances, Miss Elizabeth Bennet could have been such a companion.
With the announcement of dinner, all present made their way to the dining room. Darcy offered his arm to Anne, leaving Richard to escort Georgiana in to dine. The table was excellent, in particular the mackerel with an orange accompaniment which was proving exceedingly fashionable this season. All ate, Mrs Hurst spoke and the gentleman drank a great deal of claret.
"I must say Darcy, as ever, there is not a table more superior in all of London," remarked Mr Hurst as his wine glass was filled for the umpteenth time. "I must say, this claret, you are spoiling us. One does begin to tire of hock. Colonel when will you end this blasted war so we can return to filling our wine cellars once more?"
"Believe me when I say this," laughed the Colonel most heartily, "no one more than myself is looking forward to that very day." He lifted his face to look in Anne's direction before he continued; "I am not a young man anymore Mr Hurst, I believe I am very much ready to retire. I am in great need of a home of my own and the care that can only be provided by that of a good woman."
Anne felt her cheeks warm as Richard continued to look in her direction. What was his meaning behind such words? There was a time when such behaviour would have almost caused reason for her to swoon, yet surprisingly, all she could feel was embarrassment at being so indiscreetly observed.
"Are not we all," scoffed Mr Hurst, taking a drink for his wine glass. "But where is such a woman to be obtained?"
"Mr Hurst!" Louisa cried. "You are shocking, completely and utterly shocking." The gentleman gave his wife a small grin before taking another drink. Louisa merely shook her head and laughed. "Do not listen to a word he says Miss de Bourgh. Look how you have shocked poor Miss Darcy. Honestly Reginald, sometimes it would be safer if you remained at home of an evening.
"But then who would entertain you thus my dear wife."
Louisa shook her head once more and smiling turned her attention to Anne. "Ignore him, he has been such a tease since his win at Epsom. He is always at his most ridiculous when in a good mood."
"Ah, yes your big win," interjected the Colonel. "Tell me did you place all on one horse or stagger your bets?" He was almost certain Mr Hurst had spoken of his win and methods earlier, but he had been too engrossed in his own thoughts of Anne to pay much attention.
"Yes, as I already told you, I placed everything on Lord Colville's young filly for the win. The thing ran like the wind, never seen a horse like it. Upset a fair few people I can tell you, no one thought after its win at the Guineas it would do it again. She's a firm favourite now to take the Triple Crown, though lets me honest chances are slim."
"I shouldn't let Lord Colville hear you saying that," replied Darcy. "That horse is his pride and joy, can you image if it took the Crown? His horses are already the most excellent pedigree, but can you imagine the breeding value of such a mare? Have not you and uncle obtained some of his stock in the stables at Matlock?"
"Indeed, we have several. All excellent Arabians which is his speciality. Very keen to breed with one of father's favourite bay stallions. Tell me, Mr Hurst, was the gentleman delighted with his horses triumph?"
"I've no idea, for the gentleman was not present for the win. He returned to London before the race had even began."
"Did he tell you what took him back to town so suddenly?" Anne asked. Richard noted the concern in her voice with great displeasure. There was aea most earnest expression upon her face as she awaited Mr Hurst's reply. Richard did not find this amusing at all.
"No, he did not! Left us all high and dry without a host, after being so agreeable to include us all amongst his party. I can only assume it was in connection with Lord Fraser and returned with Lady Fraser as her escort." He turned his head towards Darcy. "You know of old Lord Fraser? Fellows been at deaths door for over a year now at least. Jolly poor show indeed. Lady Fraser and Colville missed the race entirely. People seldom time these things with the best interests of others in mind."
"Oh, Mr Hurst! You never said a thing of the reason of his departure till now. You sly thing," said Mrs Hurst. "Did not I tell you Anne, if a reason was to be known, it would be Mr Hurst who would know it.
"And why should I say anything of his departure? I had little to complain about for I made a handsome return regardless of his presence or not. Though the same could not be said for your foolish brother. Darcy you should have seen him, lost the lot. But this is what happens when one only picks a horse based purely on a pretty name alone. I say Darcy, is there any more of that claret?"
"I was not aware Lady Fraser was still married; she does not speak of her husband. How careless of me, I assumed the poor Lady already a widow." Anne bit her lip in contemplation. Why had Edward not mentioned Lord Fraser's presence before this? He was on such intimate terms with Lady Beatrice, surely, he must know her husband? She was certain he had mentioned him in passing as a dear friend of his late father.
"Perhaps," Darcy began, thinking of his own experience; "it is easier for Lady Fraser to not speak of him. It is perhaps preferred; a way in which to make the reality of the uninventable less painful. Shock and denial are horrible things. One must learn to deal with one's own grief if we intend to carry on after the loss of a spouse. The very best of men have fallen victim to such a cruel strain upon their person. I would not take it personally cousin, if the lady has not confided such a personal matter with you."
"You are quite right," Anne replied taking a very small sip from her wine glass. "It is fortunate indeed that Lord Colville was present to bring her back to London if this be the case. He is exceedingly sympathetic and my cousin Lord Bruce says there is no one better when in a crisis than Lord Colville. Poor Lady Fraser."
"Poor Lady Fraser indeed," repeated Richard drily. He had not appreciated the tone in Anne's voice when speaking of the Viscount and the apparent merits of his character.
"I shall call upon her the morrow, perhaps I can be of assistance." Anne looked at Darcy, pleased by her sudden idea.
"I think that a reasonable suggestion," replied Darcy. "Do send my regards if the case be so, I recall Lord Fraser from his time at the House of Lords. Very fine man. Do tell Lord Colville that if he or Lady Fraser require anything to help ease the situation, I am more than willing to offer my assistance."
"Oh, for goodness sake," retorted Richard. He was tired of hearing of Lord Colville. All cousins turned their heads to look at Richard and his sudden outburst in surprise. Mrs Hurst stopped still; her fork raised, far more interested in the show than her plate.
"Richard?" Darcy looked at his cousin with disapproval, his tone clearly a warning, not in front of guests.
"Forgive me, what I mean is..." Richard began, paused, then continued full force. "I do not see how any of us can help the situation if it is as suspected. We had all best leave the woman alone."
"Richard you cannot be serious in such an attitude?" Anne asked. "Lady Fraser is my friend; I owe her much for she has guided me and included me in so many ways. If it was not for Lady Fraser, I should not have settled so easily into ton society. The least I can do is call upon her."
"Oh, Anne, be sensible, what good would you calling do? In what way could your presence at such a time be of any use? What is Lady Fraser and the troubles of her husband to you? A moment ago, you were unaware of his existence. You had best stay out of such trying situations. Leave the matter to Colville, there's a good girl. I am sure, as you stated yourself, he is a wonder in a crisis. He will be much more useful than you could ever be."
Anne's cheeks grew hot, she was just about to retort at such a dismissive remark upon the usefulness of her character but, upon catching Darcy's eye and his sharp nod of the head towards the Hurst's, thought better of it. There was no point creating a scene in front of Louisa only to have her repeat it to others before the morning papers.
"I disagree with you Richard, however I do take your point." He merely huffed in her direction. What the devil had gotten into him? She could not fathom why he was being so disagreeable, especially in front of others.
"Oh la, my dear Anne, your cousin does you and all woman a great disserve. Colonel Fitzwilliam I will have you know women are exceedingly useful in many situations. Is that not so Mr Hurst?"
Mr Hurst merely nodded as he continued working on his second glass of port, now that the claret was no longer free flowing.
"Shall we retire to the drawing room?" Darcy announced, pushing his chair back in order to end this line of conversation.
"I think that an excellent idea," replied Anne. She turned her head to Georgiana and, forcing a bright smile asked; "did not you promise to play for me? I thought you had learnt something new?"
"If you would like to hear me play, I should not refuse you," Georgiana smiled. "Though I am still not quite proficient in the piece. Would you help me turn the pages?" Anne agreed that she would and the party moved to the other room to listen to the pianoforte.
Although Anne was in no way musical, for her study of the pianoforte was poor indeed, she did however take great pleasure in listening to music. There was no one in her opinion as talented as Georgiana. Darcy placed a chair next to the seat by the piano and took his position at the opposite side of the room with everyone else, ready to be entertained.
Anne took her seat and looked upon the sheet music. "I am unfamiliar with this piece, I shall try and follow you as best I can, but if you could nod when you wish the page turned, I would be exceedingly grateful."
"Is this not from the sheet music collection at Rosings Park?" Georgiana asked. "My brother requested I learn it after hearing it so beautifully played during his visit with you this Easter." As Georgiana began the piece, Anne could still not place it, in a hushed tone so only Georgiana could hear she replied; "Oh you know how poorly I play, practically not at all."
"My brother said he heard it after dining one evening with aunt Catherine and the Collinses. Was it not you who played?"
"Oh, heavens no," Annie whispered back. "Ah! Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Mr Collins cousin, she plays and sings quite well. It would have been Miss..." Anne let the sentence trail off as she listened to the music; she glanced towards Darcy. He stood, his eyes half closed, clearly quite engrossed in the music. Anne turned the page for her cousin and continued to watch Darcy's rather out of character tranquil expression. Upon meeting her gaze, Darcy looked away, his composure clearly flustered upon realising he was being observed. He knew that Anne would realise his true interest in this particular piece.
"Yes, I believe it is a piece which Miss Bennet played during our evening of musical delights. However, the sheet music is not from the collection upon our pianoforte. I believe Miss Bennet played entirely from memory. Your brother must have sought out this particular piece especially for you."
"Is it not a pretty piece," Georgiana replied softly, "I can only hope I do it justice. My brother says he had never heard anything quite so beautiful and so well played in all his life, and you know he is not one to exaggerate."
"No," Anne replied knowingly, "indeed he is not."
Following another hour of music and conversation, the evening drew to a close and the Darcy carriage was called to the door in order to return Anne to the nearby Grosvenor Square. As the Hurst's only lived at the opposite end of the street, they declined to take the carriage the mere one hundred feet in favour of walking.
After saying farewell to Georgiana and allowing the young maid to help her into her dark red pelisse once more; Anne was just about to leave with Lewis escorting her to the carriage, when Richard appeared in the foyer.
"I shall help Miss de Bourgh to the carriage, Lewis, I think my cousin requires your presence in the drawing room."
He held his arm out for Anne to take, she hesitated. She was still vexed from his earlier remarks over the uselessness of her character. Such remarks reminded her so much of her mother. It pained her to think Richard saw her in a similar light.
"Oh, come Anne, I am sorry for my earlier remarks. I did not mean to cause such offense. I merely meant that perhaps the lady would be best to be left with some privacy at such a time."
"But that is not what you said Richard. You implied I would be of no use."
"Ignore what I said, it was taken out of context I assure you," Richard said softly taking her arm and placing it on his. "There is no reason for us to fight, especially over matters which do not concern us. Leave Lady Fraser and Lord Colville be, I am sure when they wish to see you, they shall seek you out. I believe you took the matter far too personally."
"Perhaps you are correct," Anne replied meekly, hesitantly curling her gloved fingers over his arm. She awaited the spark of heat she expected to radiate from her finger tips upon touching his sleeve, though no such sensation arose.
"I know I am correct," he replied placing his other hand on top of hers and pulling her closer to his side. Her heart fluttered in her chest, yes there you are she thought. Those uncontrollable reactions which only confused her. He smelt of wine and stale cigar smoke.
"Now, are you certain you wish to take the carriage back to the square or would you prefer if I walked you home? It is in such close proximity and it is a rather nice evening for a stroll, do not you think?"
"I thought there a rather cold chill in the air," Anne replied. There was a time when being alone with only Richard for company would have caused Anne's heart to soar. Why did she suddenly feel so uneasy at such a thought? At Rosings her heart and head had been full of Richard. What else could be expected upon being in his company after for so long apart? He had broken her heart when it had been young and willing; these feelings did not simply disappear. However, recently, especially in their increased company in London, Anne was often left questioning what it was exactly about Richard which she had held in such high regard for so long?
She looked at him as he smiled down at her. Yes, he was agreeable and lively company; though there were moments, such as this evening, when a darker side of his character emerged. He was attentive towards her, such as this very moment, but also moments like earlier when he dismissed her entirely. He had often saved her from the scrutiny of her mother, that she could not fault. He was handsome, just as he was now, looking down at her with his pale blue eyes. He looked every inch a Fitzwilliam; strong jaw and sharp nose. As he looked down at her, awaiting her reply, Anne could see the similarities in his face to that of her mothers. There was a coldness behind the warmth of his smile which she had never quite payed attention to before.
"I think not. I am entirely grateful to you for such a charming suggestion; however, I find myself quite fatigued this evening. I believe in this instance I should prefer to take the carriage."
"I shall not pretend I am not disappointed. Perhaps tomorrow I can call upon you? If the weather is fair, we could take a stroll around Hyde Park. I'm sure Hennie would enjoy such an outing. It feels like such an eternity since you and I were able to talk openly with one another. I would very much like such an opportunity again, you cannot know how much I miss your conversation."
"We have been together all evening," Anne laughed uneasily, pulling her arm away as they drew up alongside the carriage door. "There is nothing you can wish to speak to me of that you cannot say in front of Darcy and Georgiana. Did not you think Georgie played exceedingly well this evening?" Anne asked changing the conversation entirely as the footman opened the carriage door.
"I must admit I was not entirely focusing on our cousin's performance. There was someone else whom held my attention and thoughts much of the evening."
The footman stood, ready to aid the lady as required into the carriage; but just as Anne nodded to him, ready to accept his hand for support, Richard placed both hands upon her waist and lifted her up into the carriage.
"There that's better," he said with a grin, enjoying the shocked expression on Anne's face as she looked at him wide eyed. "Oh, do not be so shocked Anne, your waist is only one place I have often wanted to place my hands upon." At such a remark Anne's cheeks grew hot and her heart began to thud loudly within her chest. "Do not think for one moment I have ever forgotten you," he said softly as he closed the carriage door. "Until tomorrow Anne," he called through the closed door as the horses began to pull away.
Seated comfortably in Darcy's drawing room once more, Richard took a slow inhale on his cigar. He felt quite pleased after Anne's earlier reaction. Those scarlet cheeks and the flashing of her amber eyes indicated she was not so indifferent to his attentions. He had been careless. He had heard rumours of Lord Colville's interest in his cousin, though he had assumed Anne's feelings for him would easily outweigh any competition. What use would Lord Colville have with someone like Anne for a wife anyway? Surely, he was much better suited to a daughter of some Scottish gentry or another. It was unlikely such a man with estates of his own north of the boarder would have need, or the desire, to frequent an estate in Kent. Yet he could not deny, the man was exceedingly attentive. He recalled their conversation at Kings some weeks ago now; did not he hint at his intention of hoping to soon join that of the married lot? Surely, he was not referring to Anne?
"Richard?" Snapping from his thoughts Richard looked up at his companion. Darcy sat opposite him, watching him intently.
"What are your intentions towards Anne?" Darcy asked swirling the amber liquid in his glass before taking a small sip. He felt the warmth as it travelled from his throat down to his very core.
"My intentions," Richard spurted, all but choking on the contents of his brandy glass. "What do you mean what are my intentions? I believe if you deem fit to ask me such a question you likely know the answer."
"Richard, I have long suspected during our youth that you and Anne perhaps shared..." he paused licking his teeth. He found such conversations most uncomfortable. "What I mean to say is, well, oh you know what I mean. I have always known the two of you to share some sort of fondness towards the other. Anne especially so. It has only been recently that I have observed that you perhaps also return such feelings. I have seen the way in which you look at her. Though I feel I should warn you; you must be aware of her growing fondness towards another. I do not say this to cause you pain. I am quite certain that the gentleman in question greatly shares such feelings. In truth I believe him to be quite full of admiration for our cousin."
"If you mean to warn me of Lord Edward Colville and his apparent interest in Anne, why not simply say his name? I am quite aware of the fact. He has in no way been discreet in his vulgar display of affection towards our dear cousin. The word about ton is he is likely to propose before Parliament adjourns for the season. Though if I may be frank, I do not see it myself. However, if he does not, he will make a fool of her and all of ton will know of her foolishness."
"Richard, take my word as warning, though I am in no way confident to whom I am offering it to; be it to you or Anne. Richard, I know you. I know how you conduct yourself and I know of all your indiscretions, for whom do you think picks up the bill? I shall ask this again only once and I wish for an honest answer. What are your intentions towards Anne?"
Richard sat his eyes narrowed as he met Darcy's inquisitive gaze; he made no attempt at a reply. Darcy sighed. "Richard, I merely wish to know if your intentions towards our cousin are true; or are they simply spurred on by the competition from the presence of another. I know your mind better than I know my own. If there is one thing you thrive upon it is the thrill of the hunt."
"Darcy simply because the lady showed the greatest of foresight in rejecting the advances of one cousin, does not mean she will look so unfavourably against that of another."
"So, you do intend to make Anne an offer?"
"I am inclined to believe that a union between the two of us would be met favourably yes. You and I both know she is far above many women in terms of her good sense and kind nature."
Richard leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He thought back to that summer when nothing else had mattered expect spending time with Anne. Life was a cruel thing. If he had been but the first son, perhaps he would have already wed his bride. He could have been happy and content with several children; never knowing the hardships of war or the reality of depending on the generosity of others. In truth Richard had never loved another woman. Anne was all that was good and proper in the world. She was everything Richard was not.
"I lost her once due to my own foolish lack of judgement, I am not willing to do so again. The man you now see before you might have been a very different man today, if I had acted in the manner which would have secured my future happiness at a time when my soul intentions were true and just."
"And are those intentions no longer true?" Darcy asked. There was a sadness in Richards voice which Darcy found unsettling.
"Time Darcy, time is not kind. The last five years have not always been good to me. There are things I have seen, things I have done, that no true gentleman can ever forgot. I will not pretend I do not enjoy the employment of my regiment. Without employment and strategy my mind grows weary. You are right when you say I enjoy the hunt. My character is such that if idle I am powerless to temptation. I fear at times I am very much my brother's kin."
"You, are nothing like Henry," Darcy replied firmly. The conversation had taken a far darker route than Darcy intended. "And pray what if Anne does not wish to accept your hand? What then if she does not return such feelings?"
"And what do you know of feelings?" Richard all but spat in Darcy's direction. There was venom behind his words and his eyes flashed with fury. For the first time Darcy felt as if he did not know Richard at all. As quickly as it had come, Richards temper settled, his face returning to its usual demur.
"Darcy, I have loved Anne for as long as I have known myself. However, due to the life we must lead, the expectations placed upon us both, my blatant lack of situation; that love, which was once so pure, I was led to believe could never be."
Richard drained the rest of his glass. "Must I remind you she was to be yours. The whole family believed her to be yours. You have no idea how such a notion has tormented me. You, who had so much already and could not see Anne for what she was. Your blindness to her virtue enraged me. Why should it be that she was given to you so willingly but denied to me? Our aunt made that matter exceedingly clear; I would never be accepted."
"The repulsive idea that Anne would stoop so low as to become the mere wife of a soldier. You have no idea how these words tormented me. The thought of returning home to Matlock to find her as merely another of your many possessions; your dutiful wife, I could not. Why else do you think I stayed away on the continent for so long? There is war, blood shed and loss to be had anywhere, one does not need to be part of a regiment in order to see that."
"Richard, I had no idea. Why did you not talk to me on such a matter? I could have helped you. Indeed, if it is only money, I could and still can help in finding you a situation."
"There you go, Darcy and his generosity to the rescue. I am afraid it is a bit too late for that dear boy. You ask what my intentions to Anne are and now you know. There is nothing you or anyone can do. If Anne will have me, perhaps we can put the last five years behind us and start afresh? Who knows. I think I am more than entitled to my little bit of happiness. Now if you will excuse me, I shall retire for the evening. I am in no humour for company."
Richard stood and walked to the door, upon reaching for the handle he paused. "A word of advice cousin. If you happen to find a woman who brings you joy, a woman whom you wish to be a better man for. If only so you can see that reflection of yourself in her eyes; then I encourage you to grasp onto such a woman and the man they inspire. One cannot alter the soul when it has decayed beyond all hopes of salvation."
Opening the door, he left the room, leaving Darcy alone to absorb the truths which had unfolded.