A/N: So. Uh. Here. This was obviously supposed to be Naru/Tayu, but then... well... I'm sorry?
It was a crisp early morning in the Land of Fire, the vestiges of Winter still clinging to the chilly air. Not far from the border of the Land of Hot Springs, there was a small wayside Inn. Nothing special, a name one would forget after a day's rest there. It was a tad off the main route between Konoha and the Hot Springs Village- the scenic route, one could say. At least, that's what it led to believe.
Truth is, the small and forever unnamed Inn, was a HUB for spies from all over the Land of Fire who had come from or would travel east.
One of those rather unremarkable fellows was a rather remarkable woman. The most glaring feature that offset her from the crowd was her long red hair. Red was one of the more, if not the most, unusual hair colour all over the Elemental Nations. The second thing one might notice when coming across her on the road was the walking cane at her side and the ever closed left eye. She was a lithe thing, why, almost bony. Her skin was so close to white as if it had never felt sunlight, while her left leg was seemingly the only body part with a very light tan.
This left leg, however, was not real. Not that it was a genjutsu, no. Tayuya, as was the woman's name, had lost her left leg years ago. It had been amputated to save her life, so she never much regretted the loss.
At the time, she had been one of the Sound Four, the elite guard of the legendary Sannin Orochimaru. And while she was working for him, she also worked for yet another Sannin. The Toad Sage, Jiraiya. As his spy, no less.
Ever since she had been... released - if one could call it that - from Orochimaru's services, Tayuya had wondered just why her old master never noticed the steady leak of information that must have foiled dozens of operations. Not that he never found out, of course. Orochimaru was nothing if not intelligent. And a nasty paedophile, as Tayuya liked to point out at least twice a day.
Her last days as a double agent for Konoha had been spent invading the very village she had years ago sworn fealty to. It had almost been ironic. Until she ended up allowing herself to be defeated. Tayuya had, however, not accounted for the sudden appearance of Subaku Temari into her fight with Nara Shikamaru.
In the end, her defeat was literally crippling and she almost died.
Tayuya, cynical as she was, had even expected to die, pinned under an entire forest as she had been. But, much to her everlasting surprise, Konoha had not abandoned her. Even with the village still in more or less functioning ruins, the Hokage had dispatched an entire squad of ANBU to retrieve her.
But they arrived only after Orochimaru's right-hand man had found her. Kabuto had gloated his knowledge of her treason, literally spat in her face, and then gouged her left eye clean out. Later, when she awoke in the hospital, she learned that during one of the numerous experiments Orochimaru had conducted on her, he had actually left a piece of information behind, sealed in her left eye socket.
To Tayuya that meant she had fooled Orochimaru for years until he noticed it had been her, which was why Kabuto had retrieved whatever had been sealed behind her eye. It was a small victory, but that didn't help her in the two months she struggled to survive her defeat. It was only when suddenly the third Sannin, Tsunade, returned to Konoha, that she was finally brought from the brink of death and lost her leg in the process.
But Tayuya couldn't find it in herself anymore to be angry over the loss of her leg. She was alive, she had a job to do and Orochimaru had lost all his interest in her. Tayuya imagined that he found it amusing to leave her to live her life as a cripple. Which was why she cursed his name three times a day, before every meal and whenever she woke from a short night's sleep.
"Aaaaah... Fucking Orochimaru."
And she did so whenever the sun rose and she just so happened to observe it, as it was the case, on this crisp early morning in the Land of fire.
"Hot Springs?" the elderly woman behind the counter asked.
Tayuya felt the need to scoff. That old lady knew exactly who she was and where she was headed. "Ya," she grunted, "Mission intel for ANBU. Yada yada and all that shit." She leaned onto the counter, taking the weight off her prosthetic leg. "Come on, old lady, you know exactly what I'm here for."
The woman sniffed primly, opening a squinted eye to glare at her. "I do," she said, her voice no longer matching the elderly body. "And luckily for you, I'm in a good mood today." She placed a sealed scroll onto the table. "Deliver it to ANBU team Fox. They are supposedly still undercover in the Hot Springs Village."
Tayuya swiped the scroll off the counter and immediately sealed it in a seal that was tattooed high to the inside of her left thigh, a spot very unlikely to be discovered unless she would run around naked and do a vertical split. Which she totally could. "Something I need to watch out for?"
"Don't die limping there."
"Fuck you, too."
The woman sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Your contact is one of the ANBU this time. All the middlemen are busy further east. You will hand the scroll to the team leader, a young man with blonde hair."
Tayuya raised an eyebrow. "That all? Nothing else? Blonde ain't exactly a rare hair colour."
"His hair is rather distinct," the woman said. "You'll see. Just stay in cover for as long as they operate before you come back. Rumour has it that a group of rouges are trafficking spiked soldier pills and that isn't even the ANBU team's mission."
"Why the fuck would I care about some drug smugglers?"
The woman opened both eyes wider to glare. Uh, scary... "They recently started abducting young women."
Tayuya scowled severely. "I ain't no easy pickings, stupid hag!"
"I'm no older than you," the woman muttered under her breath. "Be careful. You might not be easy pickings, but you do look like it. The Hokage owes you his life, and Konoha owes you their Kage."
With an exaggerated eye roll, Tayuya pushed herself off the counter and spun on her good leg, cane loudly hitting the hardwood floor as she came to a standstill. "Yeah, yeah. Just don't cry over me, stupid ass hag."
As Tayuya stalked out of the door, accompanied by the rhythmic thump of her cane, the disguised old woman smiled a surprisingly soft smile. "Do be careful." With that, she closed both eyes again just as the door slammed shut.
Usually, a spy shouldn't exactly be frequenting places, but no one suspected her of being a spy, so Tayuya couldn't have cared less. That aside, she had a good reason to show up at the Hot Springs Village almost every week. It did her leg - or whatever was left of it - really fucking good, soothing the pain. Her damn knee hurt something fierce after a while, even if she didn't run around all day.
That said, she knew the way to the Village like she knew the back of her hand. If need be, she could sleepwalk there. Probably. She wasn't about to try.
It was a routine she had settled into over the years. And even if Tayuya wouldn't ever say so, she very much liked her routine. Take a mission, take a hike to the hot springs, deliver something, hot springs again and back to take a mission. Rinse and repeat. It was comforting, helping with the fact that aside from what she carried with her at all times, there was nothing left of her. And even then one had to subtract the damn leg.
Still, she was okay with her calm life with no wars in sight. Konoha had - three or so years ago - established it's dominance after some kind of shadow war took place with more assassinations and people just vanishing than ever before. The old hag at the Inn had told her that about 40% of Iwa's executive force had simply been disposed of, and Kumo got hit even harder with almost 60%. The hag also said it had been one guy alone to carry out most of the kills, but Tayuya chose not to believe that crap.
After it all was over, no one dared to lift a fat, warmongering finger no more.
And Tayuya was truly content with that.
She arrived in the Village of Hot Springs three days later. Tayuya never travelled fast anymore. Not because she couldn't, it was just a pain in the leg. Literally, but more a phantom pain at that. And, as usual, the gate guard greeted her with that false charm of his. Tayuya was used to that strange sort of pity. She knew that he wasn't even remotely attracted to her, which she largely attributed to her clavicles that all but jumped in everyone's faces these days.
"Back again, are we?" he greeted, smiling at her.
Tayuya gave him a flat stare. "Yes," she said shortly. Just because she was used to it, didn't mean she liked it.
The guard never really talked to people, but once he noticed that she was a cripple and all that, the asshole had the gall to be extra nice. Wasn't it common knowledge that that's exactly the wrong thing to do? There was just too thin a line between being considerate and just pitying someone.
"Again to the Sleeping Dragon?"
Tayuya sighed aloud, displaying her annoyance. "Fuck off. Just look over the papers and get off my back."
She could see it in his eyes that he wanted to snap at her. But he didn't because she was a cripple. "Okay, fine," he said laughingly, but it was such a false cheer, it almost made her sick.
It had been ages since everything happened, so Tayuya had no problems with herself. No more than there was to be expected of someone with only one leg. What annoyed the living daylight out of her, though, were the people. Pity her, Poor thing! Oh, woe betide her! Bla Bla Bla! She didn't need all that. They acted as if she was missing all four limbs. The eye, on the other hand, most didn't even notice. They probably thought she was feeling too cool to look at them with both eyes.
True, some people were so damn ugly, she wouldn't have tainted both eyes at once.
Tayuya snatched her papers back from the guard before he had finished extending his hand. He flinched violently, and Tayuya drew an obscene amount of satisfaction from it.
On her way to the hotel she always and without exception stayed in, a few stall owners greeted her in passing. She didn't return the greetings. She never did. Well, except for one. Or two, really.
"Big sister!"
They always seemed to find her the moment she got within two blocks of the hotel. A young girl, maybe seven, and her even younger little brother from an Orphanage that was most definitely not nearby. The two of them were always sneaking out.
"You snuck out again, didn't ya?" she observed, not breaking her surprisingly even stride.
The girl, a pipsqueak with short brown hair, hastily jogged to her side. "We had to!" she exclaimed, "You never tell us when you come by, so we have to go and look!"
"Yeah!" her little brother agreed, grabbing the back of her long shirt.
Tayuya smiled at him over her shoulder. Kids... "You'll be in trouble when you get back. That matron of yours is scary." She didn't mean that, but otherwise, they'd run around outside all day, and no matter how peaceful it was around here, Tayuya remembered the rumour the old hag had told her about. "Masami, you cut your hair?"
"Ya!" the girl exclaimed, pulling at her short, and admittedly badly, cut bangs. "They kept gettin' caught in the bushes when we got out!"
Tayuya nodded. "And you cut away at Kaze's hair because...?"
"He wanted a haircut!"
"Yeah!" the boy affirmed, hoping to reach a strand of Tayuya's hair. "But when I'm older, I wanna have hair like you do!"
"Mine's red," she said, returning her eye to observing the passersby. "Yours' ... mint."
"What's mint?" they both asked as one.
Tayuya clicked her tongue. "Your hair. A shade of green. Now, don't you have to run back? I've got to check-in."
Kaze, whose name had surely come from his whirlwind tendencies, pulled so hard on her shirt that she almost lost her balance. Masami caught her good leg, though she had long since learned to be mindful enough not to pull it out from under Tayuya.
"Fine," she sighed, "you can come with me. But I won't do shit to get you in your matron's good book."
"We won't do shit either!" Masami promised cheerfully.
Right... Tayuya could only hope never to cross that woman's path. All these swear words these two must have learned from her.
... Ah...
"As always?"
Tayuya nodded to the receptionist. The aged man was actually, much like her, a spy. Though Tayuya was more an undercover courier at this point if she was perfectly honest.
"Got that right. And-"
"Off to the baths post haste," he finished for her, not even looking up from his... whatever he was writing in, "As always, indeed." Then he did look up, his aged brown eyes looking at the two children hiding behind her legs and cane. "But I would ask that your two guests leave before our other guests return."
"Sure," she said. Tayuya knew he meant the ANBU team and she hadn't been about to involve these two urchins into whatever was going down here.
The receptionist handed her a key. "Room number-"
"One on the ground floor," she finished, snatching they key from his hand. "As always, indeed."
He chuckled. "Indeed. Have a pleasant bath, Miss."
She strode down the hall towards the bath and made it halfway before Masami decided to ask, "Hey! What's "Indeed" mean?"
"... You're too young for that, you little shit." Because somehow Tayuya was not good at explaining and Masami was nothing if not tenacious.
"Is it like fuck?" Kaze asked innocently, clinging to her shirt again.
Tayuya sighed. "Yeah, that's it."
Maybe she should start hating children. That would make things a lot easier.
Tayuya stripped down and put everything into one of the baskets. She left her cane there, too, and made sure to help Kaze out of his shirt before he could fall over in the effort of wrestling it from his head. As expected, Masami curiously inspected the leather straps that held her prosthetic leg in place.
"Did they use glue to make it stick?" she asked, leaving her rag of a dress with Tayuya's things.
"No," Tayuya explained, "The straps fit tightly." And there was a seal inside of it, but she didn't want to explain how it worked.
The leg itself was made to mirror her right one in stature, but the metal it had been made of darkened it a few shades, which offset it from her good leg. With her knee joint hidden in the prosthetic, one could almost mistake the leather straps for a garter belt of black leather. But once the full leg was on display, it was obvious that it wasn't real. The ankle was a simple metal joint with a few coiled springs hidden in calf and shin to allow for temporary bending and springing back. The foot was rather aesthetically pleasing and made to fit her left so she could wear her shoes. Well, is she had any shoes. She only wore shoes in winter and even then those were more boots than anything else.
Without her cane, the limp was very prominent in her gait, which was why she carried it to absolutely every place she went, because even though she could probably discard it, she would rather not be seen limping all day. Aside from that, her leg grew sore thrice as fast without.
Tayuya washed herself down and got Masami to do it as well, while Kaze had been all too happy to be doused with water by her. She ushered the two kids out and seated herself at the edge of the big, wonderfully steamy bath. With a relieved hiss, Tayuya unclasped the leather straps and deactivated the seal, pulling the leg off her knee.
"Ah," she sighed, dipping the stump into the water, "That the stuff..."
"Doesn't that hurt?" Masami asked, floating in the water in front of her, eyes trained on the leg.
"Healed long ago," Tayuya said, letting the rest of her body slowly sink into the water with a content hiss. Kaze immediately claimed the place in her lap, grinning up at her. She arched a dark eyebrow at him before she splashed a bit of water at him. He squealed, fleeing from her lap in mock horror. Tayuya laughed quietly at them, leaning back to let her head rest on the edge of the bath.
The cold ache in her knee undid itself within minutes and she would surely have fallen asleep if not for the two children playing more or less loudly right in front of her. Occasionally a splash of water would hit her face, eliciting an annoyed twitch in response.
"Kids...," she sighed quietly, cracking her eye open to observe how Kaze dove headfirst into the pool dousing his sister with water. She made sure to see him come up again. She didn't need them drowning. That matron of theirs would hunt her all the way to Konoha if need be.
The sliding door to the bath rattled quietly as someone opened it. Tayuya tilted her head, listening. Were those other guests already back? Was there a squad of ANBU walking in on her stark naked? If so, they better be prepared to get their asses kicked.
Instead of three ANBU in uniform, there were two young women, around her own age. One with black hair as smooth as silk and the other with hair so pink it looked like someone had slapped bubblegum on her head and combed it out. Both were clad in a towel and seemed surprised to see her. Both bowed their heads, the pink one much lower, and dipped into the bath as well, a fair distance away from Tayuya and the kids.
But there was something to the black-haired one. Something excruciatingly familiar. And Tayuya had a very good idea who that was. Talk about awkward meetings.
"Hm, big sister?" Masami asked, paddling over to her, "Why's that weird woman's hair pink?"
Tayuya snorted, brought out of her musings. Judging from said woman's visible flinch, she had most definitely overhead. "I dunno," she offered. "Why don't ya go and ask her yourself, ya little pest?"
"Fuck you!" the girl chirped happily before doing as suggested. "Hey! Lady! What's wrong with your hair? Why's it look like shit?"
"Yeah!" Kaze exclaimed from his perch on one of the stones further in the pool. "Why's it like shit?"
Ah, Tayuya just loved kids.
She lazily observed how the Pink haired one somewhat patiently explained that her hair was like that since she was born. The black-haired one, Tayuya noted, did much the same, cool bemusement glinting in black eyes. Those eyes also briefly took in the prosthetic at the edge of the bath before taking a moment to observe Tayuya herself. She tilted her head in question at the black-haired woman, who merely shifted her eyes back to the kids.
"Alright," Tayuya said after a while, "Time for you little shits to get back home before the matron kills me."
"Bu-! But!"
Tayuya ignored both their protests, ushering them out by threateningly waving her prosthesis at them. "I'll see you tomorrow, now get the hell out!"
The sheer amount of pouting both of them did could probably have killed a woman of a weaker heart. But they left eventually and moreover begrudgingly.
"Right," she sighed, stretching her arms overhead. "It's kinda obvious that you are the ANBU squad, so where's the blonde guy I'm supposed to give the scroll?"
The pink-haired girl sized her up before glancing at her partner, who merely nodded. "I'm Sakura," she said pleasantly, "and that's Satsuki. You are right about us being ANBU, which was probably about as easy to see as you being our informant."
"Chill, pinky," Tayuya laughed quietly, "This ain't no formal meeting. I don't give a damn about who you are. My job is to deliver a scroll, that's it."
Sakura's expression deflated into a sour pout. Satsuki seemed, once again, amused before speaking up. "Our teammate is obviously not in the women's bath," she said, her voice like some icy wind that crawled up Tayuya's spine. She stilled rolled her eyes at the obvious statement. "Most likely," Satsuki continued, "he is right behind those walls."
She pointed a long finger at the bamboo wall that separated the baths from one another. It was actually pretty hard to make out with all the steam.
"Well then call him over," Tayuya huffed. "I am not getting up anytime soon, and I want this shit over with as fast as possible."
"This the women's bath!" pinky hissed, a blush rising to her cheeks.
Tayuya shrugged. "So? You guys are ANBU. You've seen each other naked before, if not shagged each other half dead."
"I did no such thing!" Sakura exclaimed, her blush all but glowing.
Satsuki merely shrugged airily before whistling loudly. "Get over here, you idiot!" she called to the bamboo wall.
There was a loud splash from the other side before a voice answered, "I'm not getting over that wall only to get smacked! I know Sakura is over there! The last time I saw her naked, she almost broke my arm!"
"No one will smack you," Satsuki sighed tiredly, directing a pointed look at Sakura. "Now get over here, we are already behind schedule."
Tayuya almost flinched when someone appeared in the middle of the water with an almost soundless body flicker. She considered herself impressed, that's an ANBU for you. He was tall, blonde, had a boyish face, and ridiculously blue eyes. Aside from that, he was about as well built as any ninja (safe the Akimichi).
Oh, and he was naked.
While Tayuya grinned roguishly, Sakura erupted out of the bath with a high pitched shriek. "Naruto!" she cried, "What is wrong with you!? Cover yourself!"
Blondie didn't even attempt to. Instead, he folded his arms across his chest. "But I don't have a towel."
While pinky looked about ready to faint, Satsuki, with a long-suffering sigh, threw her own towel at him, revealing her plentiful, pale breasts. "Do her the favor so we can finish this."
He caught the towel and wrapped it around his waist before he turned his eyes to Tayuya.
"Yo," she said by way of greeting.
"Yo," he waved back.
"Nice junk."
"Thanks! Nice tits!"
Sakura shrieked again. "Could you not!?"
"She isn't exactly wrong, you know?" Satsuki stated sagely. "It's aesthetically a lot more pleasing than most-"
"STAHP!" Sakura wailed, finally having enough and fleeing from the bath, losing her towel on the way.
"Her ass ain't bad either," Tayuya remarked.
"Yeah," both ANBU agreed, a comfortable silence settling.
Tayuya noticed that both of them were more or less scrutinizing her, blondie a lot more openly than Satsuki. "You know," she said, meeting the woman's gaze, "If you keep looking at me like that, I'd begin to think you wanna cop a feel."
Slowly and very deliberately, Satsuki removed her gaze from Tayuya and stared into the water in front of her before nodding shortly. There was no blush or anything on her aloof face, but Tayuya's eyebrows still climbed almost up to her hairline.
"Haha!" Blondie laughed," You're pretty damn smart!" He stepped off the water's surface and let himself sink into the bath. "Satsuki's always been where the grass is greener."
"There ain't nothing green to get from me, though," Tayuya chuckled. "Sorry to disappoint," she said to Satsuki, "but I don't swing that way..." Yet. Just not yet.
Satsuki nodded silently, but brazenly returned to gazing at her. Tayuya almost laughed again. She then braced her arms on the stone edge of the bath and heaved herself out. She still had to give them the scroll.
"Nice junk."
Tayuya raised both eyebrows at Blondie. "Don't call my vagina junk, you dipshit."
He didn't much care, just let his gaze roam over her some more as he laughed it off. She didn't get why he would stare at her bony body as much as he did but, well, who cares? Tayuya glanced at Satsuki, who was doing much the same, but was a lot more dignified about it. Smirking, Tayuya let her left hand drift down her stomach, towards her groin. Satsuki leaned forward the tiniest bit. She arched her back when her fingers touched soft red curls and when even Blondie's eyes widened in surprise, Tayuya tapped the seal on her thigh to unseal the scroll from within.
She held it out to him. "What? You didn't seriously think I was gonna put on a show for you?" She glanced at Satsuki, who for once looked seriously disappointed in her own minuscule way. "Maybe for her. No touching, though."
The black-haired girl nodded, a small smile on her lips. "That is acceptable."
"I was kidding."
"Oh..."
Tayuya grinned at the woman, thoroughly amused as Blondie laughed his ass off. She absently massaged the stump of her left leg, flicking the scroll at blondie, who barely managed to catch it by jumping out of the water, all the while leaving the towel behind, leaving him once again naked in the middle of the bath.
As he stood there, arms high where he caught the scroll, he looked expectantly at her, like some kind of puppy. She raised her eyebrows at him. "I'm neither gonna praise you, nor your junk. Take the damn scroll and get to work."
He pouted mutinously at her, but eventually walked off the water and out of the bath, leaving Satsuki behind, who was still fixing Tayuya with an unblinking gaze.
"You're not about to rape me, are you?"
Satsuki actually blinked once in confusion. "... Excuse me?"
"Yeah. You're lookin' at me like some kinda maniac would, just without making the face."
"I would never," Satsuki said, tilting her head. "But you do have a certain charm to you."
"The one-legged one?"
Satsuki laughed softly. "Mayhap that is part of it."
Tayuya shook her head, grinning. "You are a god damn weirdo."
"Or so I've been told."
Laughing softly, Tayuya slid back into the water. "So, you are the Uchiha gal I spied on some years ago, huh?"
"You were the masked woman that spied on me in the bath."
"I spied on you all day," said Tayuya, rubbing at her empty left eye. It always itched when she remembered those days before her near-death experience. "You had a really cute pyjama back then." She smirked. "Cat ear hat included."
"I still have the hat," Satsuki admitted freely. "Nowadays, with matching underwear and a tail."
"You are a terrible liar."
"Or so I've been told."
"You already said that."
"Or so I've-"
Groaning to herself, Tayuya submerged completely in the pleasantly hot water. That girl was just as much of a weirdo as she had been back then. About as weird as her older brother. If not a lot weirder.
Ah... This mission was turning into a bother.
Tayuya got out of the bath relatively unmolested, but she could still feel the Uchiha weirdo's eyes on her as she walked back to her room. Coincidentally, the three ANBU all had the room right across the landing from hers.
Dammit.
Satsuki slithered past her in a less than subtle attempt to cop a feel, but Tayuya whacked her hand with her trusty cane, glaring for emphasis. "Hands off, ducky."
She merely tilted her head in response, not bothered at all. "Ducky?"
"Your hair still looks like the backside of a damn duck."
Satsuki just smiled softly. "I like ducks."
Tayuya groaned. This girl-! She pushed her door open, slipped inside, and slammed it shut again before more weirdness could ooze of the Uchiha lesbo. Damn, Konoha ANBU were fucking-
"Yo."
Tayuya almost jumped when she heard the voice behind her, but instead chucked her cane right at it. It just so happened to be blondie, perched on her bed. She missed his head by an inch, but he didn't so much as flinch.
"What the fuck," she spat at him, "The hell are you doing in here? Get the fuck out!"
He immediately pouted. "But I came here to thank you!"
"Thank me?"
"Yeah!" he nodded, "It's thanks to you that the old man's alive and Satsuki stayed in the village!"
"And now you want to thank me, huh?"
He nodded eagerly. "Yeah!"
Tayuya stared at him for a moment before shrugging. "Right, fine." She grabbed the collar of her tunic and undid the top buttons before simply pulling it overhead. "You better be a good shag; otherwise I'll have the weird Uchiha fill in."
"Uh... I didn't mean like that but... I guess that works too." He grinned at her, pulling his shirt over his head as well. "But I thought you didn't do girls."
"I'll let them do me if you aren't up to snuff, lover boy," Tayuya said lowly, swiftly discarding of her undershirt, leaving her topless. He pulled her onto the bed before she could even begin undoing anything else.
It was different, somehow. Tayuya hadn't had a lot of chances to have sex since she lost her leg, but the times she did it had been somewhat awkward because guys seemed to think that without her leg she would crack and break and die if they did more than just fuck her.
Loverboy here was not like that.
He all but tore the prosthesis off her leg along with the rest of her clothing. There was no hesitation when his hands begun to roam her body. If anything, he took a lot of time to attend to the stump. Tayuya would never admit to it, but the scar tissue was quite sensitive. Gasping roughly as he heaved her up into his arms to kiss her neck, Tayuya raked her nails over his back. His grip tightened on her sides, eliciting a smug smirk from her.
She forced his head up to stare down into his blue eyes. "Not one to hesitate, eh?" she asked, dragging a finger down the side of his face.
"Maybe I just like amputees?"
Tayuya snorted, firmly grasping his face with both hands. "Show me, lover boy," she commanded. "Show me how much you want to thank me."
That, Tayuya mused, must have been the most extensive, thorough, and well-received thank you ever. She could, for the life of her, not feel her legs. Well, the good one, at least. She wiped her hair, slick with sweat, and... other things out of her face and glanced over at blondie.
She snorted.
"Couldn't keep up, could you?" she breathed in his general direction.
He groaned in response, flicking the blanket at her. "I think you almost snapped my dick off."
She laughed tiredly. "Oh come off it, you could live with losing an inch."
Tayuya could all but feel him glare petulantly at her. "Take the leg but leave the dick."
"Nah, your leg is fucking ugly. Then I'm better of not having one in the first place."
"How is my leg ugly!?"
Apparently, he had already recovered. After he did all the moving. For... maybe four and a half hours? Tayuya considered herself satisfied. "You'll always have a leg up on me, but you still go down on both knees in front of me."
"How does that make sense!?" he exclaimed. "However true that may be," he added under his breath.
"I don't have to make sense," she said, "I just got my brain fucked to goo. Now hand me my leg, I need another bath."
Blondie grabbed her right thigh.
"The other, you dumb fuck."
The moment Tayuya left her room the next day, she was set upon by the annoying Uchiha.
"What?" she asked, stabbing the floor with her cane.
Satsuki didn't flinch, even as the cane missed her toe by less than an inch. "Good Morning," she said, bowing her head. "Have you slept well?"
"I didn't sleep," Tayuya replied with a roll of the eye, "And I'm kinda sure you knew that."
She nodded. "Indeed. I was listening avidly."
"You're a creep."
"Yes."
Tayuya sighed. "Does that mean you are here to follow me into the bath?"
Satsuki smiled serenely at her. "Yes."
Groaning into the back of her hand, Tayuya spun on her heel and limped towards the baths. "If you get grabby I'll papercut your clit."
"I am saddened to hear that."
But obviously not dissuaded, Tayuya added in the confines of her mind. She threw a look over her shoulder. "And stop staring at my ass."
"I refuse."
Tayuya's lips almost twitched into a smile. But only almost.
The town was a bit busy when Tayuya decided she'd look for her orphaned extras. Masami and Kaze found her once more before she could even get close to the orphanage. Maybe she should tell them to stay there if they ever wanted to actually get adopted.
"If you run into my leg you little shit, I'll kick you back to the orphanage," she said nonchalantly.
Masami, who had tried sneaking up other, squeaked loudly, abruptly stopping her approach. Kaze barreled right into her, which sent both of them sprawling onto the ground.
"You're so mean!" Masami whined, throwing a mock tantrum.
Kaze copied her motions, almost entirely in synch with her. "Mean!" he agreed.
Tayuya tapped Masami's leg with her cane. "Get up you little shits."
The two of them jumped right up without missing a beat, gazing innocently at her.
Tayuya glared down at them. "Heel," she commanded before turning around and walking down the street again. The two kids followed after her without a word.
"Hey, hey!" Kaze queried, "Where are we going!?"
"Where are we going!?" Masami parroted, pulling at her tunic.
"You are going straight back home if you ask again," Tayuya huffed at them.
It worked as expected.
Now, where was that place again...? Tayuya veered off the main street into a green alley, the steam thicker overhead, indicating that they were close to one of the hot springs. That sounded about right. It should be around here...
Tayuya smiled to herself when she became aware of a few presences down the alley. And then a few more popped up somewhere behind her. She rolled her eyes.
"Fuck me," she grumbled to herself, stopping abruptly.
Masami and Kaze bumped into her leg.
"Whats-?"
Tayuya shushed the girl with her free hand, raising her cane over her shoulder with the other.
"Alright you limp-dicked punks," she called into the empty alley, "Get the fuck out here so I can castrate you properly."
As expected, a bunch of stereotypical small-town bandits crawled out of their hiding places. A bunch of dirty punks with inflated muscles displayed in open vests, with tasteless tattoos and of course armed with blades in all shapes and sizes.
The one with the stupid eyepatch stepped forward. "Oh come now, missy!" he crowed, raising his long curved blade at her. "Don't be like that! We just wanna have a good time!"
"Uhu," Tayuya mused idly, inspecting her nails. "For a good time, you'd need something in your pants. Anything, really." She clicked her tongue. "Seems castration is off the menu."
The man's eyes crinkled in annoyance but he clenched his jaw and said nothing.
Masami's grip tightened on her leg. "Uhm... I'm scared..." she whimpered, pulling Kaze closer to them.
Tayuya huffed and patted her head. "The hell? There ain't nothing to be scared of here! Just look at them!" She pointed her cane at the leader. "This guy looks like he barely knows how to use a bath! Fuck me; I can smell his dirty ass from here!"
The leader growled at her. "Alright, fuck this! Kill that crippled bitch!"
As Tayuya expected, the most idiotic one charged in first. It didn't surprise her that it was the leader himself. Before he could even begin to swing his sword at her, Tayuya moved. Her cane slammed into the man's throat, halting his charge before he fell to the ground with a wet gurgle. She could have decapitated him, but she kinda wanted to avoid any bloodshed.
That didn't account for internal bleeding, though.
So she kicked his side with her metallic prosthetic, breaking three ribs from the sound of it, and knocking him unconscious.
Tayuya harshly stabbed the ground with her cane, balancing both hands atop it. "Next." Naturally, all of the remaining six or so idiots didn't look too keen on charging in. She raised an impatient eyebrow at the nearest fuck, some guy with a stupid bandana. "Well? I'm waiting."
Gritting his teeth, bandana asshole gripped his axe and charged as well. Tayuya would have broken both his arms if not for the fact that he suddenly just fell over, eyes wide with surprise and dilated pupils.
Silent as a shadow, the Uchiha lesbo dropped down from the roofs, landing with the grace of a cat and pants so tight they might have been a second skin. Well, she did have the ass to wear those...
Tayuya narrowed her eyes. "You were following me," she accused, relaxing her pose as the startled thugs recoiled at the sight of a shinobi.
"Yes," Satsuki admitted, her face covered mostly by a smooth black mask and the telltale headband of a Konoha Shinobi. "I was intrigued by your relations with these children." She pulled the mask down and smiled. "I am quite aroused."
Tayuya made a face. "Jeez, you freak me out."
"I could eat y-"
"We are leaving!" Tayuya declared loudly, her cane cracking loudly against the ground. She pried Masami and Kaze off her leg. "Come on, obstacle cleared."
"Where... where did they go?" Masami squeaked, grabbing onto Tayuya's tunic again.
"That lady s-scared them away!" Kaze pointed out shakily, eyeing Satsuki with weary eyes.
"Yeah," Tayuya agreed. "And she's scaring me, too, so let's go." She brushed past Satsuki and allowed a small smile. "She's not scary, though."
"Like you?" Masami asked.
Tayuya laughed. "Why, maybe she is, yes. We'll see."
She found the place she had been looking for not long after the back alley encounter. Kaze squealed in delight when he spied the fluffy pink cotton candies, the bright lights of the mummer's wagons, and heard the upbeat music. Masami was immediately taken with the dancers that jumped and did pretty impressive acrobatics atop of their wagons and on tightropes spanning all across the square.
Tayuya grinned. Yeah, she knew the festival had to have come here, too. The spring festival was all around the county at this time of the year. Which was funny, because the spring festival wasn't for spring as a season but rather for the hot springs this land was so famous for. That and they never even noticed spring came around with the weird climate around here.
"Oooh! Can we look at the funny dancers!?" Masami was hopping excitedly, hand firmly gripping Tayuya's tunic.
Tayuya ruffled her hair. "Well, of course we can! What the hell did you think I dragged you here for you little gremlin?"
Masami squealed and darted forward, doing her best to drag Kaze and Tayuya with her. It almost worked, but Tayuya had to buy the boy some cotton candy, or else he wouldn't have moved from the spot for a herd of elephants.
And so Tayuya let herself be dragged around all evening. She was getting soft, she mused. And that long before her old days. But there was just something... right about entertaining these two. Probably because shit like that would have brightened her childhood a lot.
While both of the little shits were mesmerized by a man swinging from roof to roof, Tayuya noticed the presence of her newly found source of annoyance. She threw a look over her shoulder. Satsuki stood right behind her, wearing a black kimono and probably nothing else. She smiled at her.
"You just won't fuck off, huh?" Tayuya groused at her, returning her eyes to the kids.
Satsuki took her place right next to Tayuya, smiling gently. "If I ever feel like it, maybe."
"And when is that? I hope it's soon. Very soon."
"No."
Tayuya sighed. "Are you gonna leave me in peace after a quick shag?"
Satsuki tilted her head, considering it. Or maybe that bitch was just mocking her. Then she smiled. "Why don't you try and find out?"
Tayuya raised her middle finger in Satsuki's face. "That's all you get, skank."
"I suppose that will suffice for now."
Tayuya's brow twitched angrily. Deep breaths. Murder in such a crowded place would be noticed very easily.
"Its the strange lady!" Both Masami and Kaze barreled right into Satsuki's legs. "Are you here to play with us?"
Satsuki bent down to them. "Initially, I came to play with Tayuya," she told them seriously, "but I suppose I can play with you, too."
"Yay!" Masami hopped up and hung herself from the Uchiha's shoulders. "Let's go!"
"Me too!" Kaze exclaimed, hopping with both arms raised.
Tayuya sighed. Well, she might as well go along. While Masami scrambled onto Satsuki's shoulders, she picked up Kaze, who squealed in surprise as Tayuya threw him over her shoulder.
"No!" he complained, though he was laughing all the same, "I wanted to ride you!"
Satsuki turned her head, peeking over Masami's arm in her face. "I did, too," she said, smiling, "But I guess we can't all have what we want."
Tayuya glared at her. "We'll see about that."
They spent the most normal evening Tayuya could remember at that festival. She didn't swear a lot - mostly because she didn't talk much - won a fluffy unicorn at the ring throwing for Masami, beat the Uchiha lesbo and target shooting, and rode on a pony. That last thing she had been blackmailed into doing twice. Once with the kids and once with Satsuki - which meant she was subtly being groped for ten minutes. After that - and being only the slightest bit horny, damn that bitch knew where to touch - it was time to get some food. Food that wasn't made of 90% sugar.
It was almost hard to convince the kids but Satsuki promised to let them jump the roofs with her later if they came quietly. The last part sounded as if she was about to abduct them. No wonder Orochimaru had been so interested in her. Creepy, sexy, weird fuck of a girl.
After stuffing themselves with halfway healthy food, the kids passed out fast asleep right there at the table.
Tayuya brushed Kaze's awfully cut bangs out of his face, asleep in her lap as he was. "Maybe I should teach those little shits how to use scissors properly."
Masami, who had draped herself all across Satsuki in a sleeping position that closely resembled a murder scene, seemed to have heard her. The girl moaned something into Satsuki's kimono but didn't wake.
"I like scissors," the Uchiha said evenly, pulling a fold of her kimono out of Masami's mouth.
Tayuya huffed a dry laugh. "I bet you do." She fixed the weirdo with a stare. "So? Out with it. Why the hell are you tailing me?"
She just smiled eerily in response. A beautiful smile but deceiving in nature. "Is there a reason I shouldn't?"
"Yeah. You piss me off." Tayuya looked up, scanning their surroundings. The restaurant was starting to empty and the tables around them were vacant. Yet none of the others were. She smelled a genjutsu. "What are you up to?"
"Not much." Blondie appeared beside their table as if he had been standing there all this time. "Just looking out for you."
"I hate being shadowed," she hissed at him, drawing Kaze closer.
"Which is why we didn't want to approach you." Pinky walked into her field of vision from behind the counter. How had she missed them? "But you caught Satsuki's interest a bit too well, and she insisted."
"Insisted on shagging me?"
Pinky went red, coughing into her hand. "P-Pretty much."
Satsuki smiled at her, nodding. "Quite."
Tayuya chose to ignore the odd flutter of her heart. "So? Why, then?"
"Because that's what the scroll said," Blondie said, shrugging.
"Hah?" Dammit. She should have read the stupid thing. "What the fuck?"
Blondie slid into the seat next to her. "Listen, the people disappearing here? Plain and simple: It's Orochimaru."
Tayuya almost pulled a face. Fuck. The empty eye socket burned at the very thought of that fucker being close by.
"Naruto!" Pinky exclaimed, powerwalking up to the table, looking around with worry. "That was classified!"
"Quiet," Satsuki shushed, pinching the girl's thigh. "The kids are asleep." She gently ran her long fingers through Masami's hair and then gazed at Tayuya again.
She sighed. "Aaaaah... Fuck Orochimaru!" That marked the third time today. She felt a lot more curses on that asshole's name in the near future.
Blondie laughed. "Yeah, fuck him. Which is why we are here."
Tayuya raised an eyebrow at him. "And what the fuck is my part in that?"
The smile that Satsuki gave her sent chills down her spine. The entirely wrong kind of chills.
"Why did I agree to this?"
The smile she received in response was equal parts mischief and that weird thirsty "I'm gonna eat you out" kind of stare. Kinda hot, really. If only Tayuya wasn't about to be used as snake bait.
"Because you will be sufficiently rewarded," Satsuki answered, running a finger up Tayuya's spine.
She huffed in response, shrugging off Satsuki's hand. "Yeah, we'll see about that." And while she told herself they definitely wouldn't, the idea became quite prominent in Tayuya's mind as of late.
Stupid Uchiha lesbomancy.
"Where to?" she decided to ask, adjusting her shirt so Satsuki would stop caressing the skin at the base of her neck.
"The abandoned hotel at the edge of the village."
Tayuya turned back. "Why the fuck is there an abandoned hotel?"
Satsuki smiled calmly at her. "Because Orochimaru made it so."
"And no one suspected anything up until now?"
"No."
Tayuya sighed. "Right. Sneaky bullshit. Let's just get this over with."
"May I hold your han-"
"No."
Satsuki pouted at her. Tayuya smirked.
There's just too much wrong with playing bait for Orochimaru. Especially after escaping him once already. Maybe Tayuya was starting to show signs of dementia or something. Or maybe she wasn't as content with her calm life as she led herself to believe. Because, really, the idea of Orochimaru getting murdered by a bubblegum pink prude, an aggressive Uchiha lesbian and a hung blonde ape was just too satisfying to pass on.
Even if it meant prancing around his supposed hideout like a stupid idiot.
But then, prancing was pretty hard to do with her prosthetic leg anyway. So maybe it was a good thing that she only had to walk past the mouldy hotel once before a whole dozen of arsewipes showed up out of the shadows.
Tayuya, balancing both hands on her cane, gave them a once over.
"Shit," she spat, smirking at them. "I knew Orochimaru had sunken very fucking low but hoe-lee shit!" She laughed at them. "You are the sorriest, ugliest and smelliest bunch of fuckheads he could have found south of the north pole, aren't you?"
All of them instantly blew a fuse. Ah. They were just so easy. She ignored the second-hand profanities and threats they threw her way and instead spread her arms wide. "Well?" she asked mockingly. "Come at me, will you? I don't have all fucking day!"
Tayuya, however, didn't actually wait for them to come to her. The first dude's nose shattered under her cane before he could call her a cunt and his neck snapped backwards hard enough to kill him. The second one didn't even get to blink once before his throat caved in under her palm and the third one - oh boy - did he have a stupid look on his face when his head suddenly separated itself from his body.
Yep. Wind Jutsu were great.
Some other idiot managed to pull out a weapon - a stupid, tiny ass dagger - but Tayuya was feeling evil today so she grabbed his head and performed the madest vanishing trick she could. Once his eyesocket was filled to the brim with dagger and blood, some idiot - a girl, the fuck? - tried to impale her but because her prosthetic leg was harder than Orochimaru's pedo boner, the chick's spear glanced off the appendage without even leaving a mark. Then her neck snapped against its heel and she was dead before hitting the ground.
People freaked the fuck out now. Tayuya was still high on the rush. It had been so fucking long since she let loose. So goddamned long.
They threw a bomb her way, a bundle of paper bombs actually, but holy shit they were surprised when the thing flew right back at them and blew up before they could scatter. Shit was on fire now. People got desperate. And desperate people try to either run or body you. Tayuya was prepared for the latter. She shoved her cane down some fatso's gullet and obliterated his windpipe with a gruelling crack that could have made Orochimaru flinch if the snake fucker hadn't been busy fapping to the gore around her.
Her cane firmly stuck in the suffocating dude, Tayuya used him like a baseball bat. Gods, this was the most epic shit she had done since beheading eighty-seven slavers with a needle. Her fatso-cane-bat cracked the ribs, spines and probably craniums of the two idiots that tried to run for the hills and smashed them so deep into the road they would have to dig deeper than Orochimaru had in order to bone the dead body of Madara Uchiha.
And then, after she pulled her bloodied cane from her head weapon, gore and guts splattered all over her, only one dude was left. He was on his knees, the burnt innards of one of his chaps sprayed all over his face, and stared at her with eyes full of fear.
She walked over to him and every crack of her cane against the ground had the idiot flinch and cry like a little bitch. Almost gently, Tayuya raised her cane and rested it on his head. He went impossibly still.
She smirked down at him, both eyes wide open and enjoying the way he whimpered when her teeth showed. "I surrender."
"Woah. That was hot."
"Satsuki!" Sakura exclaimed, appalled. "She massacred them!"
The Uchiha nodded, fidgeting on her crouched state on a tree overhead. "I saw. Made me very, very horny."
"Sheesh," Naruto laughed. "That's one too far even for me. Come on. Let's follow her before the poor chap dies of fear."
Tayuya strolled leisurely through Orochimaru's new hideout. "This place has no class!" she complained loudly, cracking her cane against the stone floor.
He escort shrieked in fear and sped up again.
She rolled her eyes. "Slow down. Don't make me catch up to you."
Another whimper but he complied.
This hideout was no different than the last twenty-nine she had been to. Long hallways, basically no light and the stank of death around every corner. Her whimpering escort led her until they reached a door that was slightly bigger than all the others they had passed. He shifted in place in front of it, obviously afraid to enter.
Tayuya rolled her eyes. And made the choice for him.
She was pretty sure the dude died the moment his face smashed through the thick oaken door but that didn't bother her much. She strolled into the huge-ass room behind it and whistled appreciatively.
"Nice echo," she commented. "This one's a lot bigger than the other ones. How many died digging this?"
"About four-hundred," a voice hissed from the very back of the sparsely lit hall. "And then some. Welcome, little Tayuya."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh fuck off, pedo snake. We both know you're gonna fucking die now."
Orochimaru, sitting on an ugly ass stone throne with snake ornaments, smiled that weird-ass smile at her. "No, I think not. However, you have done well in bringing the Uchiha girl to me." He made a wide, sweeping gesture with his slimy hand and five dozen ass hats stalked out of the shadows. "She will birth many more Uchiha for me to entertain." Those awful yellow eyes zeroed in on her. "And you will be rewarded for your services."
"Does one of these rewards include you dropping the fuck dead?"
He smirked. "No."
Tayuya sighed. "Sad. Sucks for you."
As if on cue, all of the ass-hats evaporated in a shower of bloody mist and the flicker of glowing red eyes. Damn. Tayuya had to admit, that was pretty cool. And then shit went down faster than she could blink. But instead of shit hitting the fan, it was the fan hitting Orochimaru.
Orochimaru and his ugly fucking throne got blended by a ball of chakra so huge it could have evaporated half of the hotel Tayuya liked to stay in. The explosion that followed was so massive that it lifted her right off her feet, and for a moment, Tayuya had a real bruh-moment but she was caught before she could end up a stain on the hall walls.
The Uchiha lesbian did some really cool shit with her eyes and all the dudes that had stormed in through the wide-open door suddenly all started to murder each other. One heck of a trick. And then Kabuto showed up. Tayuya watched with no small about of glee as pinky punched him so hard his body almost snapped into half. And this shit was far from over yet.
Safely in Sastuki's arms, Tayuya decided to throw some shit around. Hence, she cleaved a few new holes into the seemingly endless streams of abominations and assholes that Orochimaru seemed to have kept down here. There was screaming and shouting everywhere. The Uchiha moved so fast, Tayuya could barely make out ground from ceiling anymore.
Until Kabuto somehow showed up, his face basically nothing but a giant bruise at this point. Tayuya couldn't help it, she laughed.
"You fool!" Kabuto hollered, voice partly muffled by the massive swelling that was his entire face. "Lord Orochi-!"
"Amaterasu."
Black Fire. The coolest shit since blondie's blender ball. It engulfed Kabuto mid-sentence and burned him into a nice crips corpse in a matter of seconds. She looked up at Satsuki. The Uchiha had one eye close, blood seeping out of it like tears.
"Damn," Tayuya said. "That was so hot."
"Does that mean-?"
"Yes," Tayuya sighed, rolling her eye. "We'll fuck. But I need a bath first."
"Will a tongue-bath do?"
"Now that's gross."
Masami and Kaze seemed to have permanently attached themselves to her good leg. It would have been hella annoying if it hadn't been so cute.
"Alright, you can let go now."
They were at the gates and Tayuya would have loved to stay longer but she already had spent a week more than originally planned. Most of that week had been spent in a bath or a bed. Sometimes both at the same time. Water Jutsu were cool.
"No!" Masami exclaimed firmly, burying her pout in Tayuya's thigh.
"Nono!" Kaze added, wrapping himself around her leg like a winy ankle-weight.
Tayuya sighed. "Is this the point where I have to bring your asses back to the Orphanage personally? I can't take you with me, you know?"
"But we'll be good!" Masami protested.
"Very good!" Kaze hiccuped.
Oh hell, she was actually thinking about it. "No," she said. "You better leave before."
"So this is where you were!"
The chill that crawled up Tayuya's spine was unlike any other she had felt before. There, just a few dozen feet from them, was the scary-ass matron.
The woman was huge, massive even. And could probably snap Tayuya's spine with a flick of her wrist. Men and women alike stumbled out of her way as she thundered up to Tayuya and the kids. Said kids immediate detached themselves to hide behind her. Oh great. She was going to die now.
"I should have known!" the massive woman boomed, and up close, Tayuya had to crane her head up around to meet her eyes.
"Uh, listen," Tayuya began, but it was too late.
The massive woman grabbed her and proceeded to crush her spine. With a hug. That Tayuya somehow survived. If barely.
"Thank you," the matron said, voice a lot softer than before, "For taking care of them. Now, let me do my job and let me take care of them until you return, no?"
"Uhm," Tayuya made, still trying to unfold her squished lungs again. "Uh, sure."
"Good." The woman smiled kindly at her. "Now, Masami, Kaze, with me. It's almost dinner time."
With hanging heads, the kids shuffled out from behind her feet. "Yes, mam," they muttered in unison.
Seeing them drag the feet like that, Tayuya sighed. "Hold up a moment."
The two lil' shits were at her side without batting an eye. "Yes?" Masami asked hopefully.
Tayuya smiled and got down on her good knee. "Hey, no getting your hopes up. Yet." She ruffled both the kids' hair and pulled them into a hug. "I'll be back soon enough. With a place for you to stay even, so be good kids until then, alright?"
"Promise!" Masami shouted, bouncing excitedly.
"Yeah, you promise!" Kaze shouted, just as loudly.
Both held out there pinky for her. Tayuya laughed and hooked them with her own. "Promise. Now fuck off, you little shits."
The matron, who had been watching the heartwarming scene with a kind smile, shifted her gaze to Tayuya alone. The kind smile became rather chilly. "What was that?"
"Ah." Tayuya got up. "Love you, bye!"
She power-walked/limped out of the village without turning around.
Apparently assisting with taking down Orochimaru got Tayuya some kind of reputations. And new obligations. The next time she showed up at the inn for a mission, the old woman actually looked up at her with wide eyes. It was freaking her out.
"What?" she asked, frowning over the counter.
"You fool of a girl," the woman said, dismissing her distorted voice. "I told you to be careful! Not run headfirst into danger!"
Tayuya rolled her eye. "It was fine. What do you care?"
That earned her a slap with a scroll. "Of course I do! This is no laughing matter!"
"Chill," Tayuya huffed, rubbing her smarting hand. "I lived. Jeez. Anyway. Just gimme the damn scroll."
The woman upturned her nose. "No."
"No? What the fuck do you mean, No?"
"I mean I have no scroll for you," the woman continued.
Tayuya frowned. "Since when does this place run out of missions?"
"It didn't," she said. "But you already have a mission assigned to you. By the Hokage himself, no less."
"I fucking what?"
The woman smirked knowingly. "An Uchiha, I heard."
Tayuya made a face. "So? Jealous much?"
The stupid woman laughed in her face. "Not in the slightest. But do go on outside. Team Fox is waiting for you."
"Are you kidding me," Tayuya moaned, head falling into her hands. "I got assigned to the nutjob squad?"
The woman chuckled and waved her scroll around Tayuya's face. "I believe you did that to yourself. Now hurry up before they come in here. I can barely stand you. The lot of them will make me throw you all out."
"Fuck you."
"I'd rather you didn't."
Ugh, why was everyone such a wise-ass these days? Tayuya spun on her good heel and walked out to the door. As expected, Naruto, Sakura and Satsuki awaited her outside. The latter already eagerly approaching.
"Nah, hands-off," Tayuya said, swatting the Uchiha's hand away from her hip. For a moment, she looked like she would cry, so Tayuya added, "You gotta earn that."
Satsuki smiled at her. "That is acceptable."
Tayuya sighed. She was getting too soft. "Whatever. Let's fucking go."
"Lead on, then", blondie laughed.
"I have no clue where the fuck we're headed, you dipshit."
"I told you!" Sakura sighed. "Let's just... Ugh. To Suna we go. Come one. You guys are giving me a headache."
Blondie shrugged and walked down the road and Sakura followed begrudgingly. Satsuki, however, remained at Tayuya side.
"What?" she asked, eyeing the Uchiha.
"May I hold your hand now?"
If Tayuya had rolled her eye ad harder, it would have moved to the other eye socket from the sheer momentum. "Gah, fine," she huffed and grabbed the already outstretched hand. "Let's get this over with."
She sounded annoyed but, really, Satsuki's smile was pretty heartwarming. And she wasn't a bad shag. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
"You'll massage my leg tonight," she said absently as they followed after the other two.
"I'll message whatever you desire."
Tayuya snorted and allowed a smile. "Figured as much."
A/N: ... Yeet?