"secrets never stay silent"

brief description of an anxiety attack at the end of the chapter! Please read with caution!

BEING AWOKEN by a hand covering your mouth is something that Rowan hopes she will never experience again. Especially when it's by Bellamy Blake's dirty hand.

The boy's dark brown eyes stared at her in the dark, his other hand reaching down to clamp onto her upper arm and yank her to her feet. She felt disoriented -- her mind struggling to catch up to the events happening. Bellamy gave a jerk of her arm and she felt her feet catch on a branch, bringing her further away from where she slept. Blood was roaring in her ears, her heart booming through her chest like the drums of war.

The older Blake began to shove her through the trees, his hand still covering her mouth. Panic settled itself in Rowan's stomach.

Oh, god, Rowan thought, her mind struggling to find a way out of the situation she was in. He's going to kill me.

Her mind screamed at her to do something -- anything -- to get out of the death sentence that was fast approaching. She wanted to scream -- maybe Wells would hear her, or Josh. But when she opened her mouth, something sharp pushed into her back.

"I wouldn't," Bellamy whispered, his nose touching her cheek.

Rowan swallowed, closing her eyes briefly. She was trying her hardest to control her breathing -- to control her panic. Panicking would get her nowhere.

Bellamy led her down a hill, pausing briefly when she would stumble over the loose dirt. His hands gripped her arm tightly, and while Rowan knew it wasn't so she would go running, a part of her wondered if it was to help keep her upright.

When they grew closer to the foot of the hill, Rowan felt her breath getting caught in her throat. At the bottom of the hill, two figures stood there.

Wells stood in a similar position as her. Murphy held Wells in a tight grip, the boy glaring heavily at the Chancellors son.

"That's far enough," Bellamy muttered, stopping abruptly.

Rowan reluctantly stopped, her eyes locking onto Wells. Anticipation was weighing heavily in her chest, and her toes tapped anxiously in her shoes.

"Alright," Bellamy stated, stepping away from Rowan, letting her breathe in the night air while someone else grabbed her arms. "I don't want to shoot you two, hell, I like you both, but I do need them to think that you're dead."

Rowan's eyes slowly drifted to the gun that Bellamy held in his hands. Her mind staying on the words he spoke.

I need them to think that you're both dead. Why both of them? What was so special about Rowan that the older Blake assumed that those on the Ark would care if she died or not.

"Why?" Wells asked, catching everyone off guard. "Why are you doing this? For real, not some crap about getting to do what you want to do."

Wells ripped his arm out of Murphy's hold and stepped closer to Rowan. Their arms brushed briefly and Rowan felt some of the tension leave her shoulders.

"I have my reasons," was Bellamy's vague response. "I also have a gun. So I ask the questions, and the question is: why aren't you helping me? Your dad banished you, Wells, and yet here you are, still doing his bidding, following the rules. Aren't you tired of always doing what's expected of you? Stand up to him. Take off that wristband, and you'll be amazed at how good it feels."

"No," Wells growled. "Never gonna happen."

Bellamy sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. Rowan found herself frowning seconds before Bellamy jerked his head and someone tackled Wells to the ground.

"Wells!" Rowan cried, struggling against the hand that held her. "Bellamy, you're making injudicious decisions!"

"Well that's a big word," Bellamy teased, walking forward as his cronies coerced Wells' wristband off. The snap echoed through the air and Rowan flinched. "Are you sure you used that right?"

She wasn't, but there was no way in hell she would admit that to Bellamy. Instead, she shot him an icy glare.

"You're sentencing hundreds of innocents to death by doing this," she snarled.

Bellamy tilted his head slightly. "You mean like they sentenced all of us to death?" He asked. "Make it make sense Rowan,"

Rowan opened her mouth but she couldn't respond. She wanted to argue with the older Blake. She wanted to scream and shout at how fire isn't fought with fire, but his point made sense to her.

"You ready to take it off?" Bellamy questioned, his eyes focused on the wristband on her wrist.

Rowan hesitated. A part of her considered it. Considered letting Bellamy take off the wristband with no resistance. But then her eyes landed on Wells. Wells, who was resting on the ground looking defeated.

How do I get out of this? She cried.

And then, it came to her. There was one thing Bellamy would relate to her about, and if she had to use it she would.

"I can't," Rowan forced herself to cry, guilt making it easier. "Bellamy, please, I - I can't,"

"Why not?" The Blake demanded, "they locked you up - sent you down here to your death,"

"Do you know why I was arrested?" Rowan demanded. "I was arrested for stealing medical supplies. I was stealing medical supplies because I lived in the walls and my brother couldn't get me what I needed for my leg,"

Bellamy's face went pale -- at least, she thinks it did. But she knows her froze.

"He needs to know I'm alive, Bellamy," Rowan felt the tears dripping onto her shirt, staining her cheeks. "Lucas needs to know that I'm alive,"

"Your-" Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, turning around. "Your brother?"

Rowan nodded frantically, using her hand to wipe the tears. "His name is Lucas, and I haven't seen him in years. If you take this wristband off I might never see him."

"She might be lying," one of Bellamy's followers murmured, glancing uneasily at Wells.

"She's not," Wells sighed, locking eyes with Rowan "His name is Lucas Cameron and he used to be training as a Medic,"

Bellamy didn't say anything right away. His eyes didn't leave her face and hers didn't leave his.

"No one has a brother," was his simple response.

"And no one has a sister," she shot back fiercely. "Bellamy, I promise you that I am not lying."

Bellamy continued to look at her. Rowan could almost see the wheels in his brain struggling to accept the facts that she told him.

Rowan swallowed back the anxiety that was building in her stomach. She wanted - no, needed - to keep her wristband on. For Wells. For Clarke. For her fake brother. For the people of the Ark.

"Bellamy," she tried once more. "Please. You came down here for Octavia. You know the feeling of not knowing if your sibling is safe. This wristband is his only way of knowing if I'm alive,"

Bellamy didn't say anything else, he just turned on his heels and began walking up the hill, back towards camp. Murphy and the others followed at his heels.

Rowan let out a breath, running a hand through her hair. Her eyes landed on Wells and she carefully made her way over the twigs towards the boy.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you?" He countered, his dark brown eyes scanned her body.

Rowan smiled at him, offering him a hand. "I'm okay," she assured. "At least I wasn't the one who was aggressively man-handled to take off a wristband,"

Wells gave her a small smile back. "No," he agreed. "But you did admit to having a brother,"

Rowan sighed. "I forget that people know me as the thief, not the second sibling found on the Ark,"

Wells shrugged, accepting her hand and letting her pull him to her feet. "That can be a good thing,"

Rowan agreed, her head tilting back to stare at the night sky. The dark blue sky was speckled with trillions of stars, a foggy streak cutting across it. Rowan felt herself smile -- the sight amazing her.

"It's so beautiful," she murmured. Wells made his way beside her and tilting his head up as well.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"When I was little," she started. "I dreamed of what the sky would look like. A sky with no light pollution, just pure sky. I thought that I would lay on the grass and find all the constellations," Rowan felt Wells' eyes on her and she turned her head. "Weirdly enough, there are too many stars to distinguish constellations,"

Wells let out a small laugh, one that made Rowan smile. When she looked back up, a light streak danced across the night sky.

"Make a wish, Wells," Rowan joked.

The boy was silent for a minute, before steadily saying, "I wish for a good life. One without violence. Where The Ark is down here and we're all living together in peace."

Rowan smiled softly, her gaze resting on Wells. "You wish is more selfless and ambitious than mine," she sighed. "I wish to not be alone."

Wells shrugged. "That's not a bad thing," he said.

"Compared to yours?" She asked, raising her eyebrow. Wells shrugged and she laughed quietly, her eyes focusing back onto the stars.

The two lapsed into silence. It was comforting standing there with Wells. This sort of thing is something that Noah and she would've done, and it was nice to do something that felt so familiar.

"We should probably head back," Wells' voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She jerked her head towards the boy, a startled look on her face. "You okay?"

Rowan slowly nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Just thinking," she muttered. "Come on."

The two struggled to get up the hill, Wells' ankle creating more pain than wanted. It didn't help that the trees added a sense of foreboding as they continued to walk.

Rowan couldn't tell if she was paranoid or not, but she felt eyes burning into her shoulder. She turned around, staring at a tall tree directly behind her. For a second, she didn't see anything. Just the thick branches and dark shadows. But then, she saw it.

A dark figure crouched low in the branches. Someone who could barely be seen if she hadn't been looking so hard.

A shiver ran up her spine and her breath got caught in her throat.

"Rowan?" Wells asked, touching her arm.

She turned her head, giving a reassuring smile towards the boy. "Go ahead back to camp," she assured. "I wanna climb the tree and get a better look at the surrounding area,"

Wells' eyes flickered towards the trees. "Are you sure?" He asked. "I can't stay here if you want..."

Rowan reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "I'll be okay," she promised. "Go get some rest,"

The boy gave her one last look before walking up the hill and into the trees.

Once she was sure he was gone, her gaze rested back towards the tree. The figure was still there.

"I'm hoping you're an animal," Rowan sighed, stepping closer to the tree.

The figure moved, dancing easily in the tree as she stepped closer.

"Who are you?" She demanded, stopping. The figure stopped and stared at her. She couldn't see his face or what he looked like, but something about him put her on edge.

Then, he jumped down, landing at the base of the tree.

Rowan nearly screamed, taking a step back. From what she could see, the man was tall and muscular.

"Who are you?" She demanded, though this time her voice shook.

The man didn't say anything, he just turned and rushed through the trees. Rowan backed up a step, tripping over a branch and falling to the ground.

Her eyes didn't leave the spot where the man had left for a while. She felt her stomach clench, battling the urge to throw up from the fear that was beginning to consume her. Her vision blurred. Tears peeled her eyes and her breathing became erratic as oxygen didn't reach her lungs. Panic rushed through her at the realization that she couldn't breathe and she tried sucking in a huge breath, coughing and sobbing as she choked on the surrounding air.

What was happening? Her mind was frantically trying to grasp reality, but nothing was working.

Her calming tactic from earlier had failed her and now she was losing oxygen quickly. Her vision was blurred and she couldn't calm down.

Suddenly, a hand grasped her cheek tightly.

"Rowan!" A voice called frantically. "Rowan, follow my breathing. Match with me, Rowan,"

She couldn't. Everything was overwhelming and she felt herself wanting to cry.

"Rowan," the voice was becoming more and more disoriented. "Rowan, uh, count with me!"

She could feel her mind floating away. The lack of air preventing her from seeing who was in front of her.

She felt herself beginning to lose consciousness and panicked. She grabbed the arm of the person in front of her, gripping it tightly.

"We're not alone," she managed to gasp out before her eyes closed and she was submerged into the darkness of her mind.

-authors note -

once again I am sorry for the long delay. school hit me like a truck and I forgot I had THREE chapters previously written. I hope you guys like the chapter! until next time