Catherine
I should turn around and go home.
I know it. Every rational thought that I've had in the past twenty minutes is some version of why I should veer off the direction I'm headed and go home- shower off this nightmare of a shift. I could feel the bruise forming over my cheekbone, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd consumed anything more than black coffee. But there I was, slowly climbing the stairs to Sara's apartment.
She had gotten under my skin, with her anger and her accusations. What had started as a desire to reassure her- to wipe that pained look off of her face rapidly turned to exasperation. She had no right to speak to me that way- not as her co-worker, and certainly not as her supervisor. As far as arguments between us go, this was fairly benign, but I felt the effects of it like a brand.
I had set out in search of the brunette, but as I marched down the hallway my thoughts began to gain an angry momentum. They turned to the disturbing sight of Sara's thin fingers marking O'Rileys neck, the smug look on his face as Sara apologized through clenched teeth. The bruised flesh of her thin wrist- the thought of him provoking her, alone in the ally. The naked, battered bodies of Emma O'Riley, Erica Holms, Sage Kelly… the way that he had known about Lindsay.
My sights had shifted and I turned a corner sharply, adjusting the trajectory of my snowballing rage. I came to an abrupt halt as I narrowly avoided a head on collision with Liev, his chocolate eyes regarding me with an edge of concern. He took the opportunity to grasp my shoulders gently, as though to steady me, and I didn't bother trying to keep the distain out of my eyes as I moved out of his grasp and around him with ease.
"Whoa, Where's the fire?" he asked, turning towards my retreating form. I didn't offer him an answer or explanation, heading full throttle towards the parking garage with a burning sense of conviction.
In hindsight, this may not have been my best move, but I was vibrating with the emotion that had been building up since the night before. I confronted him near his truck, his thick frame turning to regard me with more of that smugness from earlier. I got in his face. I asked him what kind of sick bastard tortures and kills their own niece. I asked him if it made him feel powerful. I told him that Sara wasn't the only one that was going to see to it that he got taken down.
I'm not sure exactly which part caused him to snap, but my face was burning and I was stumbling backwards from a sharp blow before I knew what was happening. I tried to keep the fear out of my features as I straightened back up to look at him, feeling an edge of satisfaction at having broken his ever-present façade of unnerving calm. I called him pathetic. He hit me again, the metallic taste of blood overwhelming me a moment before Liev intervened violently, twisting his thick arm behind his back, slamming him against his car. It was another few moments before Brass, followed closely by a young officer appeared, narrowly contained rage etched across the older mans features.
I blatantly ignored everyone's requests that I go home, burying myself in a B&E case that was wrapped up far sooner than I had hoped. After that, it was Ecklie that was gently but firmly ordering me home. I knew that it was only by sheer luck that I was avoiding a lecture, his energy clearly spent from dealing with the backlash of Sara's encounter. That, along with the sherifs ever-pressing demand for updates on the case, of which there were none, aside from the chaos that we seemed to be inducing ourselves. I didn't envy him at all.
I had sent a begrudging Lindsay to stay with my sister until we either caught this guy or I came up with a safer solution. While O'Riley's threats may have been futile, even an ounce of risk wasn't worth it when it came to her. So here I was, avoiding my empty house by walking into yet another lions den. Just call me a masochist.
I knocked, crossing my arms protectively over my chest in preparation for what I assumed was coming. She had made it clear how she felt about my silence in Ecklie's office, and I was sure that 20-some hours was not enough time to naturally remedy her anger. But this was far from my first altercation with Sara, and it was out of exhaustion more than anything that I was dreading this.
It was her eyes that had me pushing boundaries that I had set for myself years ago. When it came to most things I had no problem pushing in the places that I felt needed to be prodded at, forcing myself into situations that weren't always comfortable. But when it came to Sara, it was different. There was something dark in her that kept me at a distance- not out of fear, but out of respect for her way of coping with this job, with this life. If she asked to be left alone, I respected that. If she needed space, I gave it to her. But yesterday, the look of absolute betrayal in her eyes had me standing outside her door, trying to come up with the proper words.
After a few moments I heard the chain being slid out of the lock and the door was pulled open, revealing a set of icy blue eyes. What the hell? I felt my arms to fall to my sides, mouth opening in a silent question.
Sofia's long hair was messy from sleep, her slim body covered in nothing more than a dark grey Harvard t-shirt that fell barely to mid thigh. She held a heavy coffee mug in both hands, leaning slightly against the doorframe, quirking a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. The shock must have been apparent on my features and I shut my mouth quickly, shifting my eyes to the confines of Sara's apartment, momentarily searching for the brunette before meeting her eyes once again.
"Sofia"
"Catherine" she greeted casually, glancing over my tired form, pausing momentarily on my cheek with a slight furrow of her brow and I cursed silently, knowing it was leaving more of a mark than I had hoped. She hesitated a moment, but apparently thought better than to mention it, stepping back into the apartment with a slight gesture of her hand.
"Sara's in the shower. There's coffee if you'd like to come in"
If she had any concerns about being caught half naked in her female co-workers apartment, she made no show of it, taking a long sip of her coffee.
I weighed my options heavily, but in the end my pride outweighed the strange tightness in my chest and deepening sense of exhaustion that this entire situation elicited. I straightened up and gave her a brief nod, following her inside.
I had never been inside Sara's apartment, and my expectations of it were pale compared to the reality. Where I had pictured plain, bare walls there was a beautiful array of paintings and photographs hung tastefully throughout, walls a deep shade of burgundy. A large bookshelf holding enough books to give Grissom's collection a run for its money stood in the corner next to a deep brown sofa. There were two abandoned glasses on the coffee table next to a nearly empty bottle of Scotch- the good stuff, I noted. I felt a pang of annoyance for no reason that I could pin down, turning towards the granite island, trailing my fingertips across it slowly. I noticed a few photographs tacked to the fridge, but the weight of Sofia's gaze held me back from further observation, turning back to look at the younger woman once again.
"Never been here before?" she asked, a question that, paired with her heavy gaze, came across more loaded than it initially sounded.
Before I had a chance to answer or analyze her sudden intensity, Sara appeared from the hallway, rubbing her wild hair with a small towel. I straightened up instinctively, her tall frame coming to a slow halt as her eyes fell on me.
"What are you doing here" she asked blankly.
Here we go.
I absently took a step towards her, trying to remember the words I had settled on on the drive over. Sofia's tired gaze travelled between the two of us before she set her empty mug down on the counter, running a hand through her unruly hair.
"I'm going to take a shower, give you two a moment" she spoke in her husky voice, meeting Sara's gaze briefly before heading down the hallway. I watched her go, toned legs that carried on for days entirely on display as she disappeared into the bathroom. When the hell had this happened? Sara had never regarded her with anything more than a sense of slight irritation, and now they were… I cut the thought off sharply, focusing back on the matter at hand, eyes shifting back to Sara who had her arms crossed over her chest, brow furrowed lightly as she waited for an answer.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay"
She let out a humorless laugh, dark eyes narrowing slightly "Right, because you care so much about my well being"
"I am in no mood to fight you, Sara"
Her gaze was set somewhere over my shoulder as I spoke, a frown playing at her lips. She shifted her eyes back to mine with a loud intensity.
"Well thanks for stopping by, I'll be fine" she spoke coldly, raising her arm to gesture towards the door. I frowned, shaking my head sharply, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You're upset with me for not having your back yesterday, but did you ever think for a moment that maybe I did? That maybe I spent twenty minutes arguing with Ecklie, trying to talk him out of taking you off the case?" I asked her, my previously pale-with-exhaustion demeanor replaced with the beginning sparks of anger. I uncrossed my arms, resting a hand on my hip in irritation.
"You are so quick to jump to the assumption that I would let you just get thrown under the bus, that you don't even give me a fucking second to explain myself" I said, shaking my head with a slight chuckle, pacing to the other end of her small kitchen before turning back around.
"Not that I need to explain myself to you, I am your supervisor and I don't know where you get off…" I was interrupted by her sudden presence directly in front of me, her soft fingers coming up to turn my chin to the side gently, but firmly. I watched her closely in confusion as she focused on my face with, if possible, a deeper frown than she had greeted me with. I quickly realized what had distracted her and moved to step away.
"Who did this?" She asked, though by her clenched jaw and cold tone I could tell that she already knew the answer. I sighed, meeting her soft brown eyes with a light nod towards her bruised wrist
"Your friend James" I said, absently reaching up to touch my sore cheek. "I confronted him in the parking garage- entirely over the line, I know, but I couldn't let him leave without saying something. I guess he felt confident enough outside of the station to attempt a heavier form of intimidation"
I avoided her eyes, half expecting a somewhat deserved attack about how hypocritical this entire situation was, but instead I felt the warmth of her in front of me once again, her hand coming up to cup my cheek gingerly as she ran a thumb over the bruise softly. Her fingertips lingered on my flesh, coming down to gently touch my painfully split lip. My eyes were searching hers as they trailed over my skin with a pained look of heavy concern. I felt her grasp my wrist gently, stepping back to observe the angry red marks on my forearm that were sure to bruise. She cursed lightly under her breath, her stormy eyes coming up to meet mine, this time with a look of utter resolution. "I will kill him"
There was a tightness in my chest at her words, at the look in her dark eyes, at the feel of her thumb trailing lightly over the pulse point of my wrist, still in her gentle grasp. An entirely different tightness than what I felt at the sight of Sofia dressed in Sara's shirt, leaning casually against her doorframe as though she belonged. I filed it away for the moment under feelings-I-don't-have-the-time-to-explore, though somewhere deep down I knew that 'courage' was a more appropriate word for what I was lacking. It took me a few moments too many to break away from her gaze, shaking my head lightly in an attempt to focus myself, red waves tumbling over my shoulders.
"I'm alright- the important thing is that we've got the bastard behind bars for the time being". She quirked an eyebrow at me in question, to which I put my hands up in defence.
"Not my initial intention, but a lucky development nonetheless"
She smiled lightly, taking a few steps back to put some space between us.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, my head was not in the right place" she said, leaning back against the counter, animosity turned to softness in the blink of an eye. Our patterns really were remarkably predictable. She gestured towards the coffee pot "Want some coffee?... You know you really should be at home getting some rest, not here worrying about me"
Her tone was relaxed and I knew that she was more concerned about me than annoyed about my concern. "I can't help it" I spoke softly, causing her to glance up at me once again, a question in her dark eyes.
"Though I was obviously beaten to the task of consoling you" I said, motioning in the direction of the hallway. "I didn't mean to interrupt you two". Her eyes widened slightly and I couldn't help a small chuckle, her cheeks reddening slightly as though she was only just realizing the situation I had walked into here. "That's…not exactly what it looks like" she mumbled, turning towards the coffee maker.
"Sara, I've been around long enough to know that that's exactly what it looks like. It's okay- your secret is safe with me". She opened her mouth to say something, a look of conflict crossing her features, before closing it with a slight shake of her head, muttering something indiscernible under her breath. My desire to know exactly what was going on between them was heavy, but now wasn't the time to start asking questions that I wasn't sure I would like the answer to. The bigger question being, why did I care? Was I upset that she hadn't trusted me with this? I once again shut off my thoughts before they got away from me, reaching out to touch her back gently, feeling her muscles twitch lightly beneath my hand.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, try to get some rest"
She nodded, hands resting on the counter in front of her. "I'm sorry that he…", she hesitated briefly before gesturing towards me vaguely with a defeated sigh "I'm sorry".
I rubbed her back gently for a moment, drinking in the sight of her in a thin t-shirt and form fitting jeans, bare feet pressing into the soft rug beneath us, her dark hair was still wet and wavy from the shower. It felt intimate- probably the most unguarded I had ever seen her, and I found myself hesitant to let go of the moment. After a few long breaths I sighed gently, letting my hand fall away from her and retreating towards the door, heels clicking softly against the hardwood floor.