Fix You

Hello everyone, long time! I'd like to say that I am back but that will not be true until next week. But since I am so happy that all you wonderful people helped me reached my goal for 100 reviews and even helped me exceed that goal, I am uploading this new chapter from my school library as a THANK YOU and make up for my abscence! You guys are the best and I really appreciate all! If it was physically possible for me to hug each and everyone of you I would. On another note, I am not sure when the next chapter will be uploaded for I have been suffering from terrible writer's block that I just can't seem to pass through, but I am trying and if you wish to lend a helping hand feel free to do so, you'd have my thanks. Now on to the chapter which I really hope you enjoy because I am extremely nervous on posting it. I do warn you, it does have adult situations if you catch my drift, so this is my warning to you all. Read on friends.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

~Chapter 18

Leon groaned as he rubbed his temples, willing away an oncoming headache. How could he do this, and to Helena nonetheless? After everything, how could he continue to do this? He was the problem, not Helena.

With a sigh he looked up upon the roof of the familiar hotel room. How many times had he been in this same exact position? Before he would be jubilant at having spent the night with his Asian beauty but now all he felt was… content? Could that be the right word?

He was neither happy nor sad. He enjoyed his time with her but now it seemed all that was between them was carnal activity; Just the pleasuring physical act of coitus. How had Helena put it, physical love? But was that it? Was that really all that was between them?

Glancing to the resting woman, Leon came to realize there was hardly any intimacy at all. He knew nothing of her, except for the fact that she enjoyed toying with him, his emotions being a bonus. It was all just games. Fondness, fancy, and attraction could only take one so far.

"Can we trust her?" Helena's words echoed in the male's mind causing him to sigh yet again. It really wasn't an easy question to answer. He had never been sure himself and how could anyone love someone they could not fully trust? Without trust there could be no relationship, or so he had come to learn. He had never blamed Ada for his failed relationships, in truth he had been at fault. He had been the one to cheat. Perhaps the minx may have coaxed him but he was the one who had responded when he simply could have turned away. In a way, Helena was right. Ada was ruining him but she had not done it alone. After all, it takes two to tango.

Looking away from the woman, Leon thought of Helena. She was all he had been able to think of since dropping her off at her apartment.

"I love you Leon… it kills me that you can't let go of her… that you can't open your heart up entirely to someone else…"

Pain nipped at his heart as their tumultuous argument that started this emotional roller coaster played through his mind, something that appeared to happen occasionally. He sighed deeply. Those words had stung more than he would have anticipated. The male rubbed his face in angst. Could he really pretend to be with her? Then again, who said he had to pretend? Why even pretend?

Leon perked at the thought, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering intensely. Throughout this time with Helena, not once had he pretended. Not once had he lied. Not once had he played a role. He had always been himself. He had always been honest, truthful. Helena may have been right on many things but she was wrong about one thing in particular. He had opened his heart. He had opened his heart to her. He allowed her to see beneath his walls, to see him. And she had accepted him.

He wanted something more than sex, something meaningful, intimate. That was something he had with Helena, a strong intimate friendship. He wanted someone he could tell all of his secrets to without fear of judgment or being used. He wanted someone he could really be himself with, someone who understood him. Warmth flooded through him as he came to apprehend that everything he wanted he already had and with his best friend nonetheless.

How could he have ignored the sparks signifying more than friendship was in the balance? How could he be so blind, Ignorant? Leon wanted to punch himself, scold, and laugh. He had always loved her, which he had always known. No one cared for someone deeply without feeling love. But it was not until now that he grasped, recognized, understood that he had falling in love with her.

Making a decision, the blond tossed the sheet covering his naked torso aside and stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

Leon looked back as he picked his boxer shorts up from the floor. "Something's come up. I have to go." Ada sat up, watching him in a scrutinizing manner. "You're going to see that woman." The blond slipped on the boxers, catching the slightest hint of malice in her voice. Shaking it off, he merely responded with, "What woman?"

A smirk formed on the beauties lips. "Don't act so coy Leon. You know exactly who I'm talking about." Leon looked away as he pulled up his pants, zipped, buttoned, and buckled up. With a sigh he approached the window, staring out into the city with his head hanging low.

He could not keep living this way. It was too much. As selfish as it sounded he wanted to be happy. Because of his career he had put his entire life on hold; never really living. He would always put others before him, but would it be wrong of him to put himself before others if only once? Would it be wrong if he wanted someone who knew how to give him love, real love? The kind that sweetens salt and makes the sun come out?

Clearing his throat, he spoke. "What are we Ada?" The woman stood, her curvaceous body glowing. "We're lovers." Leon lifted his eyes up to the cloudy sky. It appeared it was going to rain. "What kind of love would you say we have?" With a sheet wrapped around her, Ada approached the conflicted male. "What is this about Leon?"

Leon shook his head, fed up. It was time to man up and stand up. It was time to face his demons and break out of the cage he had been imprisoned for so long. He licked his lips, his eyes still on the sky. "For 15 years we have been doing this… I'm not exactly sure what this is anymore…" he shook his head in a disgruntled manner. "Where is this going?"

"Is this because of that woman?"

The blond turned to the sphinx, brows furrowed. "This has nothing to do with Helena. This is all me." Ada gave a mirthless chuckle. "I beg to differ." She turned and approached the bed, sitting down on the mattress. "We both knew from the very beginning what this was." The male nodded. "I did. But it's not enough for me anymore. I want more."

"I don't. Our relationship is perfect the way it is. It's safer to have no strings attached. I can't give you a companionate relationship or even an intimate one, no matter how much I wish I could. I love you Leon, but my loyalty is to my work. It's more important than anything else. It's my life."

Leon nodded yet again. "I understand that. I do, but I have my mind on something more. I can't do this anymore Ada. I can't wait for you anymore."

"You and I have history Leon, don't you remember? She is a stranger, someone you merely met months ago. Is she really what you want? She won't be able to love you like I will."

The blond smiled. She seemed to forget she was once and still is a stranger as well; a stranger who had once meant the world to him. The smile curling his lips pulled into a smirk. "That's the idea."

Ada sighed and leaned back, using an arm to support herself. "I can't say I didn't see this coming. Last night… you made love to me… like you were making love to someone else; her, no doubt." She sat up. "So this is goodbye?"

Leon took a breath. "Yes." The vixen looked up to the roof much like the male had done mere minutes ago. "I won't say I don't deserve this because it's probable I do, but I want you to give me a real reason why."

The blond sighed, "Because I don't want this anymore. Because I know that something better waits for me. I thought I would never leave you, that this was real love, lifelong love. But today, I understood that it isn't. You and I may be a good idea in theory, but somehow it just doesn't work."

Ada remained nonchalant, but inside she was screaming. To be Ada Wong, one needed to remain aloof, emotionless, and distant. "I suppose it's my loss then. You should go." She looked to him and beckoned toward the door with a bob of her head.

Leon approached her and gently placed his lips on hers. "You'll always be a part of me, and I'll always love you." He then picked up his clothes and left. Ada sighed, her eyes on the closed door. "I hope in time you'll still feel the same way."

XXX- I try to say goodbye and I choke; try to walk away and I stumble. Though I try to hide it its clear my world crumbles when you are not near.

Helena listened intently to the lyrics of the song playing over the stereo. She could feel the sadness in the woman's words which allowed her to relate to the pain she was feeling. As happy as she now was, she still felt that pang of sadness and loneliness. Letting go of a loved one was no easy task, but it was not impossible.

Staring down onto the necklace of Leon's name, she sighed. She was free of Deborah but Leon was another story.

I may appear to be free, but I'm just a prisoner of your love. And I may seem all right and smile when you leave but my smiles are just a front, just a front.

A tall, handsome man, with eyes as blue as the ocean, neatly trimmed brown hair, and a perfect complexion of powder white skin, stepped into the living room fixing his tie. He cleared his throat. "So, last night was… fun."

Helena turned to him, "Hm? Oh yeah. It was." She simply pet Nanook who growled menacingly at the man. Ignoring the growls, the man slipped on his sport coat. "You know I was surprised you called." The brunette shrugged. "I just needed the company, and your name was the first that came to mind Richard."

"I'm flattered you thought of me" Richard commented as he picked up his suitcase. "Well" he breathed out. "Next time you feel lonely, give me a call. Thanks for the sex." He bid goodbye with a simple nod and left the apartment.

Helena scoffed and shook her head. She looked down to the whining puppy. "How does New York sound?" Nanook whimpered and shook his head. The woman chuckled and gave a small sigh. "You're right. How am I supposed to protect the president and his family out of state?"

With another sigh, she looked out the window. "Rain's sure coming down hard." She stirred at the sound of a knock. Confused, the brunette turned the music off and stood up from her place on the sofa. She placed the puppy down and approached the door, opening it.

"You're home" Leon spoke. Helena shrugged. "Where else would I be?" She looked him over. The male was soaked to the bone and shivered profusely. "Why are you all wet?" The blond looked down at himself. "I had to park down the block, parking lot is full. Listen Helena, I need to talk to you."

The brunette stepped aside, closing the door as the male entered. "It's important I say this now" Leon spoke as he crossed the threshold into the sitting room, instinctively petting Nanook whose tail wagged frantically.

"Wait Leon, before you say anything, I want to say something" Helena said. Leon frowned at the unsettling expression on her face, but remained. She took a breath. "There's no easy way to say this… but, I've been thinking about leaving. I just can't keep hanging on to you and me." She gave a small shrug. "Last night helped me realize that it is never going to happen. I should have kept to what I decided back in China when I realized how you felt about Ada and backed off, but I didn't. That was my mistake."

Leon's heart stopped cold at her words, his breath hitching. She wanted to leave? Was this the price to pay for his ignorance? No. This could not happen. This would not happen. He would not allow it to. He had come to realize just how much he loved this woman and for her to take it away from him was just selfish.

He shook his head, eyes narrowed. "No. You are not leaving. You can't do this to me." Helena's frowned deepened as she shook her head. "I love you Leon, but you're not mine. Who am I to step in between two people? My leaving is the best solution for us both."

"Don't I get a say? Huh? You have no right to take the choice from me Helena. I love you. Punish me any other way for my ignorance but don't do this. I love you."

It was Helena's turn to be shocked. Her heart skipped a beat, the air in her lungs dissipating; had she heard right? "W-what?" she stammered. Leon moved to stand in front of her, hands on her shoulders. "I love you Helena, and I hate that it's taken me this long to realize it." The ice in the woman's heart was melting as the new wall she had built crumbled. "Don't say that. You love the idea of me. Ada is the one you really love."

"I left Ada. I did love her, and maybe a part of me always will but that means nothing now. What I feel for you is so much stronger than what I felt for her. It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you think it's everything you want."

Helena's eyes widened in surprise, yet she remained silent as he continued.

"It was my decision. I did it for me admittedly and subliminally for you. It took me 15 years to realize she wasn't right for me. But you, the moment you stepped into my life, it's been complete in a sense, it has direction." He gave a small sigh. "I know it sounds crazy but it is how I feel." He stepped closer. "You helped me escape from my own imprisonment of my love for her."

Helena released a shaky breath as she shook her head, "Why now Leon? Why do you tell me this now? You don't owe me anything. I don't want you to love me because you feel obligated to. I want you to love for me. Not for what I've done."

"It's not an obligation. I've loved you all this time Helena. I just never realized that I was in love with you, until today." He took hold of her hand, looking deeply into her eyes. "My heart tells me you are the one for me, the one I'm supposed to be with, regardless of the age difference. I want you, that's it, all your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm, everything. I just want you."

"What about Ada? I don't want what happened with Hunnigan or Angela or whoever else you dated to happen to me. Not again. I won't go through it again." Leon shook his head. "It won't happen with us. I'll make sure of it. Those were my mistakes, bad decisions. Ada is my past. I want you to be my future."

"Leon, are you sure?"

"I've never been sure about something in my entire life. It's you."

Helena shook her head yet again, chuckling softly. "Do you know how much I hate you right now?" Leon smiled and pulled her close, his arms coiling around her waist. He leaned his head forward and pressed his lips against hers, pouring all of his love, every last fiber of passionate fire into that one single kiss.

Filled with lust, the two tumbled through the apartment and the bedroom door in an undignified manner. Leon slipped off his sport coat as Helena shed off the white blouse she wore, exposing her voluptuous breasts. The male hurriedly kicked the door shut with the back of his shoe as he pulled off his dress shirt in a fluent pull, tossing the clothing aside.

He then brought the half-naked woman close; caressingly kissing her shoulder blades as his hands roamed her body. Helena released a breathy moan as the blond cupped her breasts, fingers squeezing her nipples. Her hands wandered over his body, loving the thrill of his touch.

Picking the woman up, Leon walked to the bed, laying the brunette down on her back. By god she was beautiful, breathtaking he would even say. Jubilation flowed at the feel of the woman and the total submission of her giving herself to him. He couldn't help but feel that this was long overdue.

Standing before her, he tugged at the belt of his pants, hastily unbuckling it. He stripped them off along with his boxers, tossing them aside. Helena slipped off the pair of black short shorts she wore and threw them. This was it. The two would now make love to one another, not fuck, but love.

Smiling, Leon climbed on top of her, hovering above on all fours. Tracing the outline of his jaw teasingly, the brunette pulled him in for another kiss. Leon moaned and deepened the kiss, massaging her lips thoroughly. He kissed her with much ardor, wrapping his arms around her body so as the two were pressed against each other as tightly as possible.

Breaking the kiss, the blond sat back and reached for the lace panties, pulling them off and tossing them. He let his hands roam over her body once again; her breasts, stomach, legs, finally resting them in between her legs which he found to be very wet. Just the feel of her sent him over the edge.

Helena moaned and arched forward slightly as the blond slipped a finger in, preparing her. She gripped the sheets, biting her bottom lip. To finally have Leon in this manner, it felt so good, divine, better than she had imagined.

Sliding in another finger, Leon made scissor movements, massaging the muscles, stretching her. The sensation caused the brunette to buck her hips. "Please Leon… no more teasing." The blond smiled, loving the woman's pleasured mewls, and how her body responded to his touch. Why had he waited so long for this?

"Fuck me Leon" Helena breathed. The male shook his head. "No, I want to make love to you." He slid his fingers out and moved his hands to her legs, spreading them apart before shifting into position. Helena panted with anticipation, her eyes gleaming, pleading.

Leon lifted her legs up and as she stroked the sturdy outline of his biceps, he settled them over his waist. He leaned forward and trapped her lips in a sensual kiss as he slid inside her. Helena moaned at the powerful intrusion. Just by the feel of him she knew he was blessed with a long and wide girth; the stretching of her walls stimulating her senses. The blond groaned as he thrusted into her, supporting himself using his arms. The brunette ran her fingers through his soft feathery hair, the action causing pleasuring tingles to run down his neck.

He grabbed hold of the headboard, his strokes becoming slow and deep; such bliss, such ecstasy, such elation. The male threw his head back and began grunting loudly as he picked up the pace from his slow sensual thrusts, working himself inside her. It was raw, raucous, and wonderful. The yearning and longing for one another made all of this so much sweeter.

His hips rolled and snapped with a hard deep thrust making Helena cry out and arch off the bed, her nails digging slightly into his back. The headboard banged against the wall as the bedsprings creaked in contrast with the woman's moans of pleasure.

Leon groaned then took her nipple into his mouth, suckling. The brunette shivered at the sensation. The blond bit down as he grinded harder. Helena released a hiss as she wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, locking him in, causing him to slide in deeper than before.

She threw her head back, screaming in desire as she took in the powerful thrusts with no protest. Leon ran his tongue down her sweaty skin, tasting the sweet salt. She was close, her walls were clenching around him, causing him to take in a sharp intake of breath at the gratifying feeling. His thrusts quickened and deepened. Oh the rhapsody, the euphoria, the rapture, the exhilaration!

Feeling a warm sensation in the pit of her stomach, Helena cried out the male's name as she reached her peak, her face twisting in pleasure of her orgasm. Leon soon followed suite, shooting his load off inside her.

Exhausted, he plopped down onto the woman, laying his head in between her breasts. Her rapidly beating heart rate matched his. They were one and the same now and it was oh so sweet. The two panted heavily as the waves of their stimulated senses came down. The blond rolled off the brunette and settled himself onto the bed. Helena moved close, wrapping her arms around his sweaty torso. She placed a kiss on his lips then laid her head on his chest.

The male wrapped his arms around her, resting his head above hers. He smiled and looked down to the brunette to find her asleep. He chuckled softly and placed a kiss on her forehead. This was perfection. She was here and she was now his. With a gratified sigh he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep to the steady rhythmic patter of the rain on the window.

That's all for this chapter. Let me know your thoughts. I've never written smut before so I hope I did alright. It was quite awkward for me to write _ But I got through it. I do hope you liked and leave feedback. Till next time, and please continue to be patient with me. You have my thanks!