You guys- your reviews are so deeply appreciated, thank you for taking the time! I hope you enjoy.
Sara
Frank's diner at 6 pm brought in a eclectic crowd. An elderly couple shared dinner and comfortable silence while a young family seated behind them argued indiscreetly across the table, parents turning a blind eye to their children's obnoxious behavior. A man in biking chaps was resting against the counter nursing a whiskey and a bruised lip, voice rough as he spoke quietly to the kind eyed waitress. An older woman absorbed in a worn out book sat a few seats away, adjusting her glasses every few minutes, an abandoned dinner plate resting precariously on the counter beside her.
Sensing eyes on me I shifted my gaze to a corner table, met with a hazel eyed woman, young enough to make me feel old in comparison. Her dark hair was tied into a loose bun, a sleeve of dark tattoos peeking from beneath the bunched up sleeves of her navy sweater. Textbooks were scattered across the surface in front of her, a large cup of coffee held between slim hands. She offered a smile, the ghost of a frown playing over my lips- I looked like a corpse in three day old clothes. She raised a dark eyebrow in amusement, my lips eventually pursing into a soft grin.
As if this was what you need right now.
"Sara"
I shifted my attention back to Warrick, meeting his bright gaze as I trailed my fingertips absently over the rim of my fourth beer.
"Huh?"
"I was asking why you think she…" he hesitated, observing me with concern before letting out a heavy sigh, reaching across the table to grasp my forearm gently. "Never mind. You need to get some sleep, girl"
A conversation about the intricacies of the case had led to complaints about the complexities of women, which inevitably led to questions about Sofia- the latest of which I had apparently chosen to tune out. Avoidance at its best.
I nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear with an apologetic smile.
"I really do"
The bell above the door chimed, drawing my absent minded attention as I took a swig of beer, stomach dropping violently as I noted the familiar swing of hips, icy eyes examining the menu above the counter as though she wasn't intimately familiar with every item on it.
Fantastic.
Behind her, I caught sight of the hazel eye'd woman glancing up from her reading, eyes dragging appreciatively over her form. Sofia had that effect.
Warrick followed my gaze to the counter, letting out a quiet laugh. So much for avoidance.
"Well I'm going to take that as my cue to leave. Some of us have to go back to work tonight" He pushed out of the booth to regard me with warm concern. "I've got the bill, you good?"
I gave him a nod, tipping my beer towards him in thanks. He grasped my shoulder softly before turning to go. I could hear the murmurings of their brief conversation, my eyes trained down on the label of the bottle with a forced sense of interest.
It was a few minutes before she came over, hesitating briefly before dropping down into the seat Warrick had vacated, a beer of her own in hand. I lifted my gaze to meet hers with a strength I didn't feel, observing her uncharachteristically mussed hair, the half moons beneath her eyes ever darkening. The soft lines on her forehead were more prominent- too much stress, too much horror. I bit back the urge to reach out for her, taking a long swig of beer instead.
"You look like death" she spoke tiredly, soft lilt more prominent under the veil of exhaustion. I pursed my lips into a gentle smile, "I was thinking the same about you"
She smirked, setting her keys and an unopened pack of Marlboros down on the table.
"We're not supposed to be smoking" I reminded her half heartedly, the taste of my last cigarette still lingering on my lips.
"Yeah, well" she glanced at her beer with the same level of absent interest I had moments ago, lowering her voice "I had to tell a single mother that her daughter was brutally murdered while she was supposed to be at ballet camp- console her for an hour after interrogating that… fucking monster"
I exhaled deeply, my foot immediately shifting beneath the table to find hers, our legs tangling intimately.
"I can't believe he confessed to everything"
She had called as I was heading out to tell me the bare bones of his statement as promised- a full confession of guilt to all of the murders, with no solid reason as to why. She knew that was bullshit just as well as I did, a hand coming up to run absently over her lips.
"I can't talk about it any more today, I am maxed out. I thought you were going home?"
I shrugged, offering nothing more than a tired half-smile in response. She knew me well enough to know that sleep didn't come easily on nights like this, her leg pressing comfortingly into mine as she took a swig of beer. The silence lingered between us for a few long moments before her eyes drifted back up to mine.
"Just say it, Sof" I spoke softly, cursing the vulnerability heavy in my voice. She held my gaze for what felt like a small eternity before sitting back, picking absently at the edges of her beer label.
"What are we doing, Sara?"
I ignored the sparks of dread leaping into my throat; the panic rising.
"I don't know, smoking too much and having incredible sex?"
A smile tugged at her lips despite her attempt at steadfast resolve.
"I honestly haven't thought too hard about it"
She nodded softly, eyes drifting out the window for a lingering moment.
"If I thought we could keep smoking ourselves into the grave and fucking in unconventional places, I'd be all for it" she mused, taking another slow swig of beer.
"And we can't because? I'm personally having a great time…"
A smile skirted over her lips, meeting my gaze again, more firmly this time.
"Because if I have to work with the suffocating tension between you and Catherine for another day, I am going to lose my mind"
"What?"
A confused frown tugged at my lips, shaking my head lightly in confusion. She took a quick glance at my expression, snorting softly in amusement, eyes drifting over to absently observe the biker at the counter tossing back a dram of whiskey.
"Come on Sara, you've been wild about her for years"
I snorted, mimicking her position as I leaned heavily back against the booth. While I wouldn't deny that the lines of our friendship had been shifting with the violence of tectonic plates over the past few months, there was not even the spark of anything tangible there. And wild certainly wasn't the right word. Wildly irritated, maybe. Wildly provoked.
"So you're breaking up with me because you think there's something between Catherine and I? Do you realize how insane that sounds?"
She furrowed her brow in amusement laced frustration, running her tongue over her lip.
"Breaking up is a strong phrase, we've hardly been dating"
I sat forward, frown deepening in frustration as I untangled my leg from hers, pulling it back beneath me.
"The point is there's nothing between Catherine and I- never has been, never will be"
"Really? That's the story you're going with? Because I've been watching her get under your skin for years now, and she's barely keeping it together around you"
Huh?
"No" I answered softly, shaking my head with a furrowed brow.
Her eyes rolled discretely as she ran a hand over her mouth, glacial eyes meeting mine.
"Okay. Well I caught her about a moment away from kissing you the other night, that's why she's been finding every reason to avoid me. And while I'd like to hit her gently with my car, I won't stand in the way of something that could be good for you"
The thoughts suddenly invading my mind were forceful- what could she possibly be taking about? Had she seen us arguing in the parking lot weeks ago? Had she caught sight of Catherine bringing me coffee the other night, sliding her hands onto my overworked shoulders, leaning down to whisper words of encouragement against my hair? Was she talking about the other night at the bar, drunk and overly affectionate? My frown deepened- were there really this many scenarios that could be mistaken for intimate?
I met her gaze again, angry and unsteady.
"So you're telling me what it is I want?"
She stared back at me for a long moment, searching my eyes before sighing, downing the rest of her beer before focusing back out the window. The setting sun illuminated her eyes an impossible shade of blue, hair golden in the fading light.
"Do you feel anything for me?" I asked after a long moment.
She scoffed quietly in amusement, still not meeting my gaze.
"That's a… complicated question"
I could feel my chest tightening- in anger, in heartache, in desperation. Please don't do this, I wanted to plead. Please don't go.
"Actually it's not"
"Sara" she shifted her gaze back to meet mine steadily. "Being with you makes me… incredibly happy. You are the most important person in my life. But we're hardly dating- we're good friends fucking. And I don't want that to stand in the way of something real… for you or me"
I scoffed, giving her a stiff nod.
"So this isn't real for you. Got it"
"That's not what I…" she sighed, icy eyes baring into mine wistfully before breaking away as she slid tiredly out of the booth. I refused to let the prick of tears I felt behind exhausted eyes show, glaring darkly. She leaned on the table, close enough for the familiar smell of vanilla and leather to overwhelm me.
"If you think that I don't care about you, you're so fucking far off base. If you want to pass on that opportunity, that is entirely up to you. But I won't be a factor"
She spoke with a quiet harshness against my hair before leaning back. "Get home safe"
I stared after her retreating form, hesitating all of 60 seconds before downing the rest of my beer and following her determinedly into the parking lot.
She was at her SUV in the corner of the lot when I reached her, grasping her arm and spinning her around with just enough force to demand her attention. She ripped her arm away, staring at me with pained expectance. Any reasonable thoughts vanished and I simply stared at her with a deep set frown for a few lingering moments before stepping forward and pressing my lips to hers.
When she remained despondent I kissed her harder, pulling her hips into mine. She remained ridged for another moment before relenting, melting into my touch.
I kissed her with a wild sort of desperation, pushing her back against the door. She whimpered quietly, a hand coming up to tangle gently in my hair. It wasn't until I pressed a thigh up between her legs, drawing a strangled moan from her throat that she broke away, panting against the hollow of my neck.
I caught my breath, remaining pressed against her, the beginnings of dread beginning to oscillate in my chest. She ran a hand through my hair softly, and I pulled back just far enough to catch the gleam of tears that I knew she wouldn't allow to fall. Not now.
"I love you" I whispered, my breath hot against her skin. Words we hadn't uttered out loud to one another before, safe in the intimate space between us. "Don't do this"
She took a shaky breath, sliding an arm around my waist and holding me impossibly close for a few long moments, face buried in the mess of my hair before pushing me gently back.
"I love you too. That's why I'm doing this". She held my gaze heavily before breaking away, "I have to go"
I felt her sudden absence like a blow to the chest that I refused to let undo me. I turned back towards the diner as her car door shut, lips pursed resolutely against the threat of tears. She was my safe place on nights like this. She had become my home.
/
A loud knocking made its way into my blissful unconscious, the edges of lucidity returning as I cracked open my eyes, wincing beneath the harsh morning light. A second set of knocks drew a tired groan from my sandpaper throat, kicking back the covers and sitting up, my head pounding.
A third knock elicited a dark glare in the direction of the door, pushing a sleep-weak hand through my hair before mumbling a quiet "I'm coming"
A quick glance through the peephole revealed Greg, a tray of coffee and a bag of what I was praying to be breakfast in his hands. I unlocked the door, pulling it open and stepping back to allow him space to enter.
"I don't know why you're here but you're a god send. I need that" I mused, motioning at the coffee. He smiled, stepping in as he held the tray up for me to grab.
"Good morning to you too. You look like…"
I cut him off with a deep set glare. "I'm tired"
I had sent him a text swearing off of women last night. I assume that had something to do with his presence. I dropped down on the couch, adjusting my crumpled, oversized t-shirt as he glanced around the messy space.
"Cleaning hasn't exactly been a priority" I defended, getting an amused smile as he sat down in the chair across from me. "Hey, no judgment here- still looks better than my place"
I eyed the bag, taking a long sip of coffee and reveling in the comfort. Two sugars, no cream. She wasn't the only one that knew me.
He spilled out two giant breakfast burritos wrapped in foil onto the table, glancing up at my grateful grin with a self-satisfied smirk.
"I love you"
"I know" he mused, grabbing the one labeled 'bacon' and hastily unwrapping it. We let the comfortable silence linger, taking a few bites of our breakfast before he leaned back, toffee eyes meeting mine.
"So do you wanna talk about it?"
I sighed, glancing at the insides of my burrito- scrambled egg yellow, pepper green, mushroom brown.
"Which problem are you referring to? You're gonna have to be specific" I mused, taking another bite.
"Well let's start with last night- I'm assuming something happened with Sofia?"
I nodded, dropping the remains of my breakfast onto the foil and pushing it away. "She ended things"
His eyes softened, a concerned look painting his boyish face.
"What happened?"
I gave him a brief run down of our conversation; my attempts to dissuade her.
"It's fine, I knew it would eventually run it's course. I just thought we had more time"
"Well maybe this is a good thing. You can both move on to something that has more depth"
I wasn't about to try to explain that there was more depth to our relationship than I had experienced with anyone before. That the only positive here was that there would be no eventual collapse that took our friendship down with it.
"It's not like I exactly have a list of suitors, Greg. We've been having fun, she's been my one escape from this…. nightmare of a year"
"Well it's not like your loosing her, right? Just… adjusting your relationship"
I sighed, pushing tired fingers through my hair before taking a long sip of coffee.
"She thinks I have feelings for Catherine" I spoke into my mug, words muffled.
His eyes shot up to meet mine, taken aback by the excitement I found dancing behind them.
"Do you?"
I scoffed, shooting him a warning look. "No. I mean… no"
A smile grew on his face, slowly breaking into a full on toothy grin.
"I don't, Greg" I insisted firmly "and she definitely doesn't have feelings for me. I mean, that's ridiculous, we're talking about Catherine"
"Come on- you guys seem so close now, plus all that built up tension…"
I shook my head, holding up a hand in a plea for him to stop. I glanced towards the window at the morning sunlight pouring in through sheer curtains, dust drifting ethereally in the stagnant, illuminated air.
If I was being honest, my mind was a complicated constellation of thoughts- Catherine's words the last time I had seen her, vile and confusing. Catherine at the bar the other night looking like something right out of one of Greg's fantasies, her fingers tangling around mine; the smell of jasmine as she slid into my arms.
The feel of her pressed against me, whispering bitter words against my hair. That night at her house, her soft hand against my thigh, heavy lidded eyes as she whispered 'stay'.
The idea that she could want me seemed completely ludicrous- she had just been flaunting her sexuality to get her way. Right?
Furthermore, when I pushed back all of the obviously sexual tension that clouded everything around her, was I left with any feelings? I loved her, but in a familial way- no different than Nick or Warrick. She drove me insane on the best of days- existing with her was like battling a small but relentless wildfire.
But then there was her smile. The way she could make you feel infinitely important, just by touching your arm in that gentle way; looking at you with those eyes.
Her natural confidence. Her laughter.
God dammit.
I pressed the heel of my palms into my eyes with a quiet groan, pushing them up through my sleep-mussed hair. She was seeping in, in every way I had worked so hard to prevent.
I cracked opened my eyes, meeting Greg's amused gaze tiredly.
"I don't know, okay? I can't focus on that right now"
He nodded, holding his own hand up half heartedly in surrender, dropping back against the chair.
"So how did you leave things with Sofia?"
I winced lightly at the memory, the painful tension in my temple increasing steadily.
"I told her I loved her, I watched her go…"
"And yet you're hung over and exhausted…" he pointed out, knowing full well there was more to the story.
"I um, had a few drinks with a woman about ten years too young for me, and then came home"
He raised an eyebrow. "Did you at least get her number?"
"I gave her Sofia's"
He hesitated, turning that over in his mind as though searching for some sort of logic, eventually frowning at me in amused confusion.
"It doesn't matter, I couldn't date right now even if I wanted to" I mused, glossing over that drunkenly passive aggressive move, dropping my head back against the back of the couch.
"Do you wanna talk about your case? I heard Wright confessed to everything"
I stared up at the ceiling, tapping my fingertips against the paper cup in my hand.
"He did, which means we have a very narrow time frame to prove that he in fact didn't commit most of those murders before we're forced to close the case with the actual killer still out there"
"You still think it's O'Riley?"
I lifted my head off the couch to meet his gaze again, nodding softly as I took a sip of coffee.
"I'm sure of it, Greg. But we've got absolutely no substantial evidence to prove it"
The sound of my phone vibrating quietly from the bedroom reached my ears. I sighed, shooting Greg a regretful glance, knowing this was the end of my peaceful morning.
I padded quickly into my room, glancing down at Catherine's name lighting up the screen, taking a breath before answering.
"Hey, wh…"
"Turn on the news" she cut me off sharply.
"What's going on?" I asked, frowning as I moved back into the living room, searching around for the remote, finding it wedged between couch cushions.
"Channel Five, just turn it on"
I shot Greg a concerned glance as I sat back down on the edge of the couch, flipping on the TV. McKeen was at a podium in front of PD, looking as confident as I'd ever seen him, speaking to the crowd of reporters and gathered citizens.
"… with the exhaustive efforts of the crime lab, under the lead of Special Agent Rachel Callum with the Federal Beauro of Investigations, we were able to get this dangerous criminal off of the streets. I'd like to extend my thanks to…."
I dropped the remote onto the table, glancing over at Greg who was shaking his head softly at the scene.
"I can't believe them" I spoke quietly into the phone
"I should have seen this coming… that bastard told me to my face, that we would have a meeting about it this morning, and discuss a press conference this afternoon"
I could hear the slam of a car door in the background, confirming my suspicions that she was on her way to raise a little hell.
"I'll be in as soon as I can"
I flipped my phone shut, dropping it beside me with a quiet groan, pushing a hand through my hair.
"I take it you didn't know this was happening"
I shook my head as I stood, ruffling his wild hair as I walked past, pausing to squeeze his shoulder softly.
"I so appreciate you coming by"
He smiled, standing up and grabbing his coffee and I moved towards the bedroom to dress.
"Good luck, I'll see you tonight"
/
Palpable tension. That was the feel of the lab the moment I entered, everyone not involved with the case seemingly confused, but wise enough to make themselves scarce.
Moving through the halls, I glanced into each room as I passed, silently debating whether to opt for a coffee first or delve straight into this chaos. I braced myself at the sound of heels rounding the corner, my dark eyes meeting darker ones, Wendy offering me a half smile as I let out a breath of relief.
"Break room" she spoke in passing. I turned to look back at her in question, meeting her gaze over a slim shoulder.
"I would personally be avoiding it, but I imagine it's Catherine you're looking for" she gave a nod in the direction of the break room and I sighed, eyeing it wearily.
To my surprise it was Grissom alone who was enduring her wrath, sitting across from her at the large table, leaned back casually as she paced across the floor in front of him. Grey eyes shifted over to mine, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly. It took a moment for Catherine to notice me, turning on her heel to regard me intensely.
I was taken aback by her beauty- the ferocity behind azure eyes, blonde hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders. The black tank top she was wearing plunged deeply to show the outline of ample cleavage- a power move? I had my suspicions. Her freckled arms were crossed, jeans hugging every curve…
"Sara"
My eyes shot up to meet hers, expectant and confused. Right, not the time.
Refocusing, I moved into the room with an awkward half smile, dropping down into the seat next to her.
"What's going on"
She scoffed, shooting a glare over at Grissom who appeared characteristically unfazed.
"The sheriff isn't here yet so she's practicing her speech on me"
I shot him a quick grin, Catherine bracing her hands on the table beside me, leaning forward to look him directly in the eyes.
"You are supposed to be the supervisor of this lab- at least the only one that seems to get any respect around here, and you haven't said a word about the unjust way this investigation has been handled… I'm not even sure where you've actually been. So for god sake Gil, I need you to have my back here"
He crossed his hands neatly in his lap, holding her icy gaze with calm eyes. "I always have your back"
She stared at him for a long moment until she seemed to accept his words, collapsing into the chair beside me. I absently slid my hand across the space to grasp her forearm, giving it a soft squeeze. She looked up at me, a fraction of the tension held in her body seeming to dissipate, gaze softening.
"I thought you were going to get some rest last night, you look exhausted" she spoke gently, eyes drifting over my tired features.
"I tried" I told her honestly, offering a half hearted smile. She kept her focus on me, slender arm still in my grip shifting to take hold of my hand.
"I know it's been a tough few month"
Her thumb ran gently over my knuckles, surprising me with her sudden tenderness. Grissom had the ghost of a self congratulating smirk on his lips as he observed us from across the table, undoubtedly giving himself full credit for the relatively newfound intimate peace of our relationship. I had to admit, we weren't exactly holding hands in the break room before he forced us together months ago.
A sound at the door drew our attention, Liev wandering in with a soft smile. Making a move to pull my hand out of hers, she tightened her grip, leaving it encircled in her lap. The weight of strong hands came to rest on her shoulders, charcoal eyes gazing down at her with concern.
"I see you haven't torn anyone apart yet"
I glanced at him awkwardly, all of my focus on the warmth of her delicate fingers wrapped around mine.
"Yeah well, stick around" she mused, shifting uncomfortably beneath his touch.
"I spoke to Ecklie about half an hour ago, he should be back here by now"
She turned to look up at him, hands falling from her slim shoulders as her incredulous gaze met his.
"You're kidding. All of my calls have gone straight to voicemail"
"Well what did you expect babe, he knows you're pissed"
Her grip on my hand had tightened painfully, the glare she had directed at him heavy and violent.
"I don't know, to be treated like a part of this team? to be given just a sliver of respect?"
The condescending smile that played over his lips made my chest clench in distain; the obvious notion that her anger was misplaced.
"Just try to hear them out Cat, before you jump down their throats"
She scoffed, shaking her head as she moved to stand up, surprised to realize that my hand was still in her grasp. Azure eyes shot up to mine for a lingering moment before she shifted her attention back to Liev, the loss of contact sharp.
"Why don't you just stay the hell out of my way today, okay?" she hissed, moving around him and out the door, the click of heels disappearing down the hall. I watched her go, shifting my gaze over to him darkly.
"You can't honestly think this is okay?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as he sighed, taking the seat Catherine had vacated.
"Look, I'm not saying it's okay, but you can't please everyone, and in my experience sometimes the most productive way of dealing with that is to go ahead with the opinion of the majority, and deal with the backlash later"
I chuckled humorlessly, shaking my head as I pushed up out of my seat. "You know Liev, she deserves so much better than you"
I was gone before he had a chance to formulate a response, knowing full well that was a heavy statement to make, but meaning it to the marrow of my bones.
I headed towards her office, hoping she had simply opted for a quiet place to cool down. Glancing through the window I could see that that was wishful thinking, taking a deep breath before redirecting.
Sure enough I heard her muffled voice as I approached Ecklie's office, pausing outside of the cracked open door for a moment before knocking softly. He beckoned me in, tired eyes meeting mine as I moved into the room.
"I'm a little busy right now, Sidle…"
"Oh please, you owe her just as much of an apology" Catherine spat, a hand resting tensely on her jutted out hip.
He held my gaze for a moment before shifting his focus back to her with a sigh.
"It wasn't my decision to make, Catherine. The sheriff wanted to make an announcement before the news caught wind of it and spun their own version of what was happening"
"And no one thought to at least inform us of that decision? You specifically told me that we would discuss everything this morning, before making any further moves"
He leaned back, waving a hand absently towards us with another deep sigh.
"I am sorry that you weren't informed, but that's just the politics of it"
She scoffed, taking a step towards his desk.
"That's bullshit, Conrad. That isn't politics, it's a group of men with superiority complexes thinking they know better than the women who actually conducted this investigation"
I took a cautionary step towards her, the concern for her tendency towards unbridled anger overpowering the matching distain I felt towards the entire situation.
"That's not fair Catherine, this isn't a gender inequality issue, Agent Callum was entirely involved in our decision"
"The agent who came in and took control for a fucking week was involved when we weren't? Is that really supposed to make me feel better here?"
She was leaning on his desk now, hands pressed firmly onto the wooden surface as she leaned forward, azure eyes burning into his. He held her gaze for a moment before looking away, his eyes eventually coming to linger on the exposed swell of her breasts before shifting up to meet hers once again.
"You are pathetic, Conrad. You can't face a little opposition so instead you hide from it until you've gotten what you want"
"Be careful, Willows"
I chose that moment to intervene, moving behind her to grasp her shoulder, gently but firmly.
"Catherine" I spoke quietly, her body tense beneath my hand.
"That press conference shouldn't have happened, it was premature and you know it"
"And what makes you so sure about that? You have given me nothing to support these claims you have so confidently made"
"Just let it go, Cat" I urged gently, pulling her shoulder firmly. She took a deep breath and for a moment I was sure she was going to go off on another tangent, but instead she scoffed quietly, turning on her heel and heading out the door.
"Thank you, Sara. I…"
"Don't thank me" I cut him off sharply, holding his gaze with a narrow glare before turning to follow her out.
She was gathering looks from every direction as she stormed down the hall, making a beeline for her office. I hurried behind her, ignoring the unwanted attention. We were nearing her office when I managed to catch up.
I noticed Hodges staring out from the nearest lab, shooting him a warning glare before reaching out to grasp her arm gently. She tore it away, coming to an abrupt halt as she spun around to face me with dizzying speed, glaring sharply.
"Do you really not have anything to say? Incase you don't realize, they fucked you too"
Hodges and one of the new bright eyed dayshift techs had abandoned their work to focus on us, gazing out the window with intrigue. I gave them another warning look, turning my attention back to her.
"Do you really want to do this in the hallway?" I asked, her glare holding mine for a moment before she turned back towards her office, leading the way.
The moment the door closed she reeled around to face me.
"Why are you never angry when its justified? Your passive attitude is so frustrating"
I didn't bother trying to explain that only one of us could afford to go off the deep end at a time, moving around her to pull the blinds shut.
"I am angry, Catherine. This was our investigation and we both deserved to be a part of that discussion, but coming at it with blind anger isn't the answer here"
"It's not blind, it's actually very narrowly directed"
"Yelling at Ecklie for everyone to hear is not productive. You know he'll have you suspended in a second, is that what you want?"
She sighed as I moved back towards her, a manicured hand running through soft waves as she leaned heavily back against the door.
"I'm fucking livid"
I pursed my lips to suppress a smile at that statement, as if it wasn't abundantly clear. She frowned, anger flickering dangerously behind bright eyes.
"You know it would be refreshing if you showed just a hint of emotion once in a while" she spat, eyes daring me to engage. I took a step towards her, hands becoming fists at my side.
"Controlling my anger doesn't make me emotionless" I defended.
"Really? Because…"
I closed the distance between us before she could finish that assumedly provocative statement, her words trailing off. I stopped just short of her, not quite sure where to go from there but feeling the edges of my pent up frustration fighting to escape. Taking a calming breath, I closed my eyes, trying not to focus on the smell of jasmine or the warmth of her body inches from mine.
"Do you really want to fight me right now?" I asked through clenched teeth.
I took her silence as a no, saying a silent prayer of thanks for that small victory. I opened my eyes, keeping them trained on the freckled skin of her collar bone, softening my tone.
"I know this is frustrating, but you have to relax. Fuck them, okay? We will figure this out"
Raising my gaze to meet hers, I was met with overwhelming intensity, realizing for the first time the intimacy of our position. I wanted to brush back a stray lock of hair that had fallen across her face, my fingers ached with the desire, but they remained paralyzed at my side, eyes searching hers for a hint as to what she was feeling.
Suddenly her gaze dropped down to my mouth, lingering there for a moment before bright eyes shifted back up to meet mine.
…Oh.
There was no mistaking the look in her eyes, breathing more rapid than it had been moments ago. I opened my mouth to say something, but let it fall hesitantly shut. There were no adequate words.
I didn't realize I was gravitating towards her until our bodies brushed, my own breath catching at the back of my throat as her hands slid tentatively to my hips, the warmth of her skin burning through my shirt, searing my flesh.
My body was on autopilot, an unsteady hand coming up to tuck stray waves behind her ear softly. Sliding through silky hair, it came to rest at the base of her neck, her gaze locked with mine. She took a shaky breath, eyelids leaden as her grip on my hips tightened, pulling me gently into her.
I inhaled sharply at the contact, the tightness in my lower stomach expanding, becoming molten heat spreading through me. Her hand left my hip, returning a moment later to slide easily into my messy hair, eyes darting rapidly down to my lips and back up to mine. My free hand moved to grasp her soft hip, pressing her back into the door as I leaned in, nose brushing against hers as I let out a shaky breath.
I couldn't think, couldn't comprehend this, completely intoxicated by the electricity between us. Nails raked lightly over the sensitive skin at the base of my head, a quiet moan escaping my lips as she tugged me impossibly closer. "Sara" she half whispered, half moaned, her breath hot against my lips. Her husky voice was like gasoline on a flame. Wild and uncontained, I caught her lips roughly with mine.
I was on sensory overload, a quiet whimper disappearing into my mouth as she kissed me back with equal intensity, body pressed flush against mine. Fingers tangled themselves in my hair painfully as her other hand slipped beneath the thin material of my shirt, moaning as it travelled over the bare flesh of my lower back. I pressed her further against the door, a thigh sliding between hers as her nails dug into my flesh, catching my bottom lip between her teeth.
It was too much and not enough- I needed her closer, I couldn't breathe. Her tongue brushed against mine, hips pressing against my thigh as my hand slid steadily up the soft skin of her side, dragging her shirt up along with it.
Nails raked over the small of my back, fingertips tracing the skin just beneath the waistband of my jeans and I moaned into her mouth, completely drunk on desire. This felt so obscenely good.
Despite the fact that we were up against the door, it took a moment for the quiet knocking to penetrate our hazy consciousness.
"Cat, can we talk?" Liev's muffled voice sounded through the door.
The expression that painted her face as she tore her lips away from mine, glaring over her shoulder with a new level of ferocity, would have been amusing had I not been completely dumbfounded by the reality I had suddenly found myself in, the sight of my hand beneath her shirt, just shy of her lace-clad breast painfully surreal.
I took a few steps back, breathing heavily as she remained against the door, chest heaving, lips swollen, eyes locked with mine. Even in this undone state, she was breathtaking.
I ran a hand through mussed hair as she straightened her shirt, our eyes remaining locked.
Another knock jolted us out of our trance once again, Catherine running a shaky hand over her mouth with a deep breath before turning around to throw the door open, stepping aside to allow Liev room to enter.
"I told you I need some space" she spoke quietly, voice raspier than usual as I moved past him, azure eyes meeting mine once more before I disappeared out the door.
Jesus. Christ.
I took a few calming breaths as I walked down the hallway as casually as I could with my heart pounding out of my chest, my mind on overdrive.
What the fuck was that?
"Looked like an intense conversation you two were having"
I jumped in surprise, glaring at Hodges standing in the doorway of the Trace lab, not bothering to stop as I continued past him down the hall.
"What are you even doing here, it's 9 AM" I tossed over my shoulder
"Just offering up my services to Ecklie, tying up loose ends with the serial case"
Typical.
Ignoring him, I continued down the hall, realizing as I neared the break room that I had no actual destination in mind, deciding last minute to duck in, searching blindly for the comfort of coffee and any sort of immediate distraction.
"Hey" Aaron greeted, not looking up from the Forensic journal in front of him. He was the most familiar face on the day shift, joining Greg and I for drinks on occasion. I appreciated his obvious disinterest in the chaos surrounding the night shift, offering a quiet greeting as I poured myself a cup of coffee.
Footsteps sounded at the doorway as I reached for the sugar, faltering briefly before continuing towards me. I glanced up, chest clenching painfully at the unexpected sight of Sofia. Eyes dark with exhaustion met mine for a fleeting moment before she moved behind me, her familiar body brushing up against my back as she reached over me to grab a mug from the cupboard above.
I stared at my coffee, unsure of what to do with my hands as she poured herself a cup, placing the pot back in it's place before I felt the weight of her eyes on me again. I met them with a violent ache, gripping my mug like a life line.
After a moment she reached out, taking me completely off guard as her thumb traced over my bottom lip- twice, with heart wrenching softness. I remained frozen in place, watching her intensely as glacial eyes remained trained on my lips before flicking up to meet mine with an empty expression, holding her thumb up for me to see a blurred streak of deep red lipstick.
"Red isn't your color" she spoke quietly, holding my gaze for a moment before turning on a booted heel, sauntering back out of the room.
I felt my heart drop, my throat tightening painfully.
Fuck… Fuck.
"Do you want to talk about it" Aaron asked with genuine disinterest, still not looking up from his magazine as I collapsed down into the furthest seat, propping my forehead against trembling hands. I took a few shaky breaths, blinking back the hot tears threatening to fall.
"No" I answered, voice raspy with the tension of holding back a full blown break down. I had feelings for Catherine, that was no longer deniable. The thought of loosing Sofia was devastating- the thought of hurting her unbearable. We had failed at bringing our case to a proper close. I felt on the brink of exhaustion triggered delirium.
What now?