I'm hoping the fact that this is longer than usual makes up for the major neglect. I wrote this on bed rest after tooth surgery while high on a cocktail of pills, so forgive any imperfections. Thanks so much for reading!
Sara
Sunlight streaming through the open blinds fell in a patch across her face, illuminating her cascade of burnished waves; the soft details of her pale complexion. I trailed my eyes over the tiny constellation of freckles that lay just below her jawline, watching the flutter of long eyelashes, in the throes of a dream. My fascination with her beauty was endless.
I adjusted my arm, head propped up against my hand as I studied her, our bodies having gravitated together through the night. Slender legs were molded against mine, her back flush against me. I had been fighting the urge to slip an arm around her since I woke; to hold her closer. Despite how natural it felt to be intimate, the truth was that this all still felt wildly surreal and there was a part of me waiting anxiously for her to snap back to reality and claim some form of temporary insanity. I was working on those self deprecating thoughts.
Shifting my leg, she let out a tiny moan of disapproval, eyes blinking slowly open. Her unfocused gaze drifted around before landing on me with a hint of confusion.
"Good morning" I whispered, an amused grin tugging at my lips as I watched confusion become realization, a languid smile drifting across her features.
"Mmmm" she mumbled contentedly, rolling onto her back. I finally allowed my fingertips to brush back her hair, admiring the way the sunlight played through the reds and golds.
"What time is it?" she asked, voice husky from sleep.
"Just after nine"
Her hand slid up to cover mine, resting lightly on her stomach, eyes blinking softly against the light.
"And how long have you been staring at me?"
"A while" I admitted sheepishly, mouth curving into a crooked grin. She chucked, throaty and warm in the intimate space.
"A little weird, but okay"
I pursed my lips gently, running my fingers gingerly through her waves. Dust floated ethereally in thick rays of sunlight, my fingertips gently grazing her temple as bright eyes searched mine slowly- oceanic blue, flecks of gold. Eventually her hand slid into my sleep mussed hair, tugging me gently down towards her. I let her guide me, a tiny smile ghosting over her lips before they captured mine in a kiss.
It was languid and intense, a caress of flesh and tongues, fingertips grazing unexplored skin. My hand slid down to grasp the bare flesh of her hip as she bit down on my bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth before her lips traced soothingly over mine. Her kisses alone were dizzying.
I pushed my palm up along the soft skin of her stomach, thin shirt bunching around my wrist as it moved slowly upward. She arched into my touch as I reached her breast, fingertips brushing teasingly over the swell. The feel of cleavage that had been taunting me for years pressing desperately into my hungry hands was almost too much, a strangled moan escaping my throat as I kissed her harder, trying to be everywhere at once.
She broke away from my lips to whimper into my hair, breath coming out labored and needy as she grasped my shoulder, urging me on top of her. Perfect legs parted to allow me between them, kissing me deeply as they tangled firmly around my hips. I couldn't get enough of her- the softness of her skin, the sound of her moan against my lips - god, I wanted her to keep making that sound.
I'm not sure how long we spent exploring each other, her hips rocking softly against mine. Hands slid beneath my shirt to trail over my back before her nails speared lightly into my shoulders, raking them down slowly. I moaned at the sensation, my lips tracing over her jawline, teeth grazing the warm skin of her neck.
Turned on wasn't an adequate description of what I was feeling. The ache between my legs was throbbing with the need to relieve it. I wanted beneath her skin. I bit down on her pulse point, a quiet gasp escaping through parted lips as her hips pressed desperately up into mine.
Hands slid down to grasp the curves of my ass firmly, her legs tightening their grip on my hips as my teeth nipped at her flesh. Her head was pressed firmly back against the mattress, strawberry hair splayed out around her. I pulled back breathlessly, completely undone by her beauty. Azure eyes slowly opened, heavy lidded and dark. Her swollen lips were lightly parted, a flush to her pale cheeks. She stared up at me for a long moment before her hand slid to the back of my neck, pulling me back down. Lips grazed over mine softly.
"We should stop" I breathed, body betraying me as I captured her lips in a bruising kiss, unwilling to separate from her just yet.
"Sara" she countered breathlessly, hips beginning a painfully slow rhythm against mine. I moaned, on complete sensory overload. My fingertips trailed over the soft flesh of her stomach, held back by nothing more than a small, nagging voice of uncertainty and the knowledge that we weren't alone. She silenced that voice effectively as bright eyes opened to meet mine, the need behind them almost tangible as her lips ghosted over mine with a simple breathless request.
"Please"
I held her gaze, committing to memory the sight of Catherine Willows, patron saint of ever confident ferocity, breathlessly pleading for my touch. My fingertips grazed her waistline, watching her reactions as I slipped underneath the barrier of fabric; beneath silk underwear, down to cup her soft wetness. Her eyes snapped shut, hips pressing into my hand as her lips parted with a silent moan.
My god.
I began a steady rhythm, making sure to circle her clit before moving down teasingly. Fingernails speared into my shoulder as she whimpered, trying to keep the sound to a minimum. I was caught between the desire to watch her and the temptation to taste her. The latter finally won out as I dropped my mouth to her neck, sliding two fingers just inside of her.
She gasped, hips rocking forward, a hand tangling in my hair almost painfully. I was about to loose the last threads of control when a casual knock sounded at the door, Lindsay's muffled voice penetrating the charged space.
"Mom, you awake?"
I stilled my motion, lips pausing against her neck as I cursed all of the gods silently. She let out an almost inaudible groan of frustration, hand remaining tightly in my hair, keeping me close.
"Morning Linds- what's up"
"We made breakfast- it'll be ready in 5" she announced, nails drumming playfully at the wood.
"Okay, I'll be right down"
Ten seconds to make sure she was out of earshot before she captured my lips softly, hips grinding up against my stilled hand with a groan that was half pleasure, half frustration.
"God I want you" she moaned against my mouth, my fingers sliding through her wetness once more before forcing them back to her soft hip. I thought for a lingering moment about taking those five minutes to continue this- god knows were both desperate for it, but I wasn't about to let my first time with Catherine be a quick, hushed fuck followed immediately by breakfast with her family.
"One day" I mumbled discontentedly against her skin, pressing a final kiss to her lips before rolling onto my back to take a few deep, calming breaths. She caught her own breath, a hand coming to rest on my thigh softly, my body still throbbing with desire.
"Stay for breakfast?" she asked with a gentle smile.
"Of course"
She grinned in satisfaction, sliding out from beneath the blankets with a soft stretch. I watched her pad across the room, shooting a sly smile over her shoulder as she grasped the hem of her shirt, tugging it over her head in one graceful motion. Golden locks tumbled over her bare shoulders, breasts full and milky white as she moved to the closet, sunlight playing over her skin. Her beauty was sure to be the death of me.
"This is unkind" I breathed, a smile tugging at my lips as she slid a deep scarlet tank top from its hanger, pulling it casually over her head. She performed the same dance with a pair of lacy red underwear and impossibly tight jeans before turning to raise an expectant eyebrow at me. Bright eyes followed every movement as I rolled out of bed, moving determinately towards her. She gasped quietly as I grabbed her hips, leaning in for a kiss filled with every ounce of desire I was harboring. I broke away as abruptly as I had come, backing into the bathroom with a crooked grin.
"That is unkind" she countered playfully through the door. The way her eyes roamed over my body with that needy gaze was far too testing on my self control to attempt undressing beneath.
Pulling my shirt ungracefully over my head, I observed myself in the large mirror- my wild mess of waves, my kiss stained lips. I looked out of place amidst the marble and immaculate décor, bare feet sunk into the plush mat beneath them. I hadn't bothered to replace the cheap bathmat I had thrown out months ago, suddenly feeling self conscious about the state of my bathroom and the state of my hair and the cold, unwelcoming tiles of my own messy floor.
I focused back on my reflection, trailing my fingertips tenderly over the scar splayed across my hip; the one sloped violently down my side- the largest of many. I wasn't particularly ashamed of them- it was barely a consideration with fleeting lovers, and Sofia had understood. The first time she saw them she had met my gaze steadily, wordlessly pressing a kiss to every one she came across. I had eventually done the same to hers. We were the same breed, there was no need for explanations.
Catherine on the other hand was as close to flawless as I had seen a person come, and though I knew her well enough to expect no judgment or distaste, I wasn't ready to answer any questions she might have. To feel any amount of pity from her wasn't something I was sure I could take.
/
Downstairs, she straightened her posture slightly; ran a hand through her hair a final time before rounding the corner, moving confidently into the kitchen. Nancy glanced up from her coffee, smiling at us gently with a soft "Good morning"
Lindsay turned from the fridge, the picture of Sunday morning disarray- messy hair, mismatched pajamas, a glass of juice in hand. Her eyes met Catherine's momentarily before darting over to me in surprise laced confusion.
"I thought you slept on the couch last night? I figured you had gone home"
I threw a nervous glance over at Catherine who seemed fine with leaving this delicate question in my hands, ignoring us as she poured herself a steaming cup of coffee.
"I uh, have a bad neck" I answered lamely, looking to Nancy for help. She just grinned into her mug, raising an eyebrow in mock suspicion.
"I can't sleep on couches… because of my neck. Your mom was nice enough to let me crash with her"
I met Catherine's amused gaze as she slid a mug of coffee across the island to me. A smile crept onto Lindsay's face as she came to lean against the island, glancing at Catherine and biting her lip in a half-hearted attempt at hiding her amusement.
"That's so nice of you, mom"
Nancy chuckled, pushing off the counter to join us, resting her hands gently on Lindsay's shoulders.
"So selfless" she added, biting back a grin at the warning look Catherine shot the both of them. Offering me a playful smile she used her grip to guide Lindsay into the dining room, saving us from further embarrassment. Catherine took a slow sip of coffee before leaning over to grasp my hand, a soft smile gracing her lips.
"Relax, they adore you"
Nancy had laid out plates in the dining room- stacks of pancakes and leftover fruit, condiments splayed across the long table. The tension was still obvious in Catherine- I could see it in the rigidity of her shoulders, the seriousness that never quite left her eyes- but the comfortable atmosphere seemed to be maintaining her sense of calm. Lindsay at her best was like sunshine- always enthusiastic about something, while Nancy consistently kept Catherine from tipping too far in any emotional direction with her laid back presence. It was the sort of family dynamic I had never known.
I slid in next to Lindsay, trying not to focus too much on Catherine in an attempt to stave off any further teasing.
"I asked Sam to come by this morning" Catherine announced casually, taking a long sip of coffee. Nancy sighed, dropping her fork onto the table with a quiet clang, startling me.
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I need to talk to him, and I'm not dragging Lindsay downtown to track him down"
"But I love going downtown" Lindsay mumbled quietly, pouring an abundance of syrup over her pancakes.
"Why wouldn't you tell me this before hand? You know I'm not talking to him"
Catherine sighed, leaning forward to drag a small pancake onto her plate.
"I'm in a bit of a tight situation here, incase you haven't been paying attention. I'm sorry if I didn't consider all of our family dynamics before asking for help"
Nancy puffed out a breath, pushing a hand anxiously through dirty blonde hair. "What time? Because I really don't want to be here"
"I don't know, you know him- I'm sure he'll be fashionably late"
The ring of the doorbell a few moments later was almost too synchronistic, Nancy's bright eyes rolling towards the ceiling as she leaned back in her chair tiredly.
"Spooky. I've got it" Lindsay announced, slipping excitedly out of her chair and darting out of the kitchen.
"Pancakes are delicious" I tried, offering Nancy a weary smile as she sighed, taking another bite. It was unnerving to see her exhibit anything more than a Zen-like calm.
"If he mentions mom, I'm going to lose it" she warned with an emphatic point of her fork which Catherine rolled her eyes at dismissively, taking another sip of coffee. Lindsay returned with a scowl of irritation that I was about to question when my answer rounded the corner behind her- dark ray bans covering darker eyes, an unnervingly crisp outfit on. My face fell into an even deeper scowl which I attempted to hide behind a drawn out sip of coffee.
"Good morning ladies" Liev greeted with a wide grin, the feel of the room changing from tense to outright uncomfortable. Nancy offered a quiet hello as he slid his hands to Catherine's shoulders, leaning forward to kiss her head softly. I felt my stomach turn, fingers gripping my fork a little too tightly.
Bright eyes glanced over at me, a flash of annoyance creasing her features as he moved to sit down next to Nancy, slipping his sunglasses off to hang them loosely from his white shirt.
"I heard that you guys had a rough night- I wish you would have called"
He grabbed a slice of melon from the fruit platter, Catherine leaning heavily back in her chair.
"There was a lot going on, calling you wasn't exactly my top priority"
He sat back, regarding her with a slight frown before holding a hand up softly in a confused sort of surrender.
"Okay, I was just concerned, that's all" he explained, dark eyes shifting over to meet mine. "I'm glad you were here, Sara. Thanks for keeping an eye on them for me"
I snorted softly, taking a final sip of my coffee before pushing away from the table.
"I should go"
"You didn't even finish your breakfast" Lindsay protested, shooting me a look that was somewhere between a plea to stay and a dare to walk out of here. I sighed, offering her an apologetic glance.
"Sara…" Catherine began, bright eyes meeting mine in a soft, wordless plea. I held up a hand, pressing my lips into a smile as I regarded everyone else.
"This was great, thanks"
I moved swiftly through the house, the tenderness of the morning forgotten as I felt the full weight of everything bearing down on me once again. The thought of Liev had been so easy to push away in theory- in reality, he was a very real, overly protective, blissfully unaware piece of Catherine's life. I made it just out the door when Catherine reached me, grasping my forearm in a firm grip.
"Sara, wait"
I let out a deep breath, turning to face her. Tension was obvious in her lightly furrowed brow; the ridged way she held herself.
"I need to talk to him. I'm going to talk to him" she pressed, thumb tracing over the skin of my wrist softly. I smiled at the sheer absurdity of this- the fine line we were treading, with a hundred complications just waiting to arise.
"Until you do, we can't keep doing this" I glanced over her shoulder nervously, at the empty window of the door. "It's not fair to anyone"
She nodded, pushing a hand through her perfect blonde waves.
"I think we need to take a step back here, until we figure out what exactly we're doing"
She frowned, taking a step towards me in silent protest, leaving only a few inches of space between us. "I don't want to pause this, Sara. I know I need to end things with Liev and I will, but I am only interested in moving forward here"
I nodded slowly, pressing my lips into a thin line, trying not to let her proximity affect me.
"Lindsay knows about us… whatever "us" means right now, and I'm glad that she seems happy about it, but what if things between us don't work out?"
An incredulous look crossed Catherine's features, a hand coming to rest on her hip- a sure sign of annoyance.
"Then she'll get over it. She's fourteen Sara, she understands that these things don't always work out"
I sighed, sensing this conversation beginning to unravel.
"She's got a lot going on right now. I want to be able to be there for her- and you- without complication… I want to explore this, Catherine. I really, really do" I reached out to grasp her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm just saying maybe we should give it a little time- to focus on the case and to sort out our own… stuff"
Azure eyes rolled softly, tearing her hand out of my grip.
"Half an hour ago you were a moment away from fucking me and now you want to slow things down?" She scoffed, hurt obvious in her eyes beneath the thin veil of anger. "Whatever. Figure out whatever it is you need to"
Before I could speak, a familiar voice chimed in from behind us.
"I hope I'm not interrupting"
I whipped around, greeted with the sight of Sam Braun- a large, immaculately wrapped gift stuck beneath his suited arm- clearly aware that he was indeed interrupting.
"No Sam, your timing is perfect" Catherine spoke, voice dripping with sarcasm as she threw her hands up in general defeat.
I tried to catch her gaze, desperate not to part like this but she simply motioned Sam towards the door.
"I'll talk to you later" she tossed over her shoulder, heading back inside. Sam paused beside me, chuckling quietly at my deer-in-the-headlights look of discomfort. I had no doubt he'd caught the tail end of our conversation. He rested a hand on my shoulder for a brief moment.
"Hang in there. She'll come around"
A smile tugged at my lips, offering a grateful nod as he moved into the awaiting lions den.
/
"Fuck" I cursed quietly as the steaming coffee I had picked up from the nearest drive through spilt through the cheap lid, splashing down my shirt. I wiped a hand over my chin, glaring up at the red light in front of me with misplaced irritation. With a quick flick of my wrist I signaled right, deciding that things weren't going to get any better today. I may as well delve full force into my life's current state of chaos.
An hour ago I had Catherine moaning beneath me- telling me she wanted us to give this a try, and somehow I had managed to fumble it all. I wasn't going to be the other woman in her relationship, I wouldn't allow myself to feel in the wrong for voicing that, but gracefully navigating those kinds of conversations was not my strong suit. I may as well have just guided her gently back into Liev's open, muscled arms.
Sliding a cigarette one-handedly out of the crumpled packet I had stuffed into the glove box for days like this, I made a right onto Dawson, glancing briefly down at my phone to put a call through to the other head-strong blonde I had managed to disappoint this week.
Predictably, it went straight to voicemail. I took a long drag, glancing out at the vaguely familiar neighborhood. It wasn't particularly distinct, another district of cookie-cutter houses with expensive cars parked in the driveways and turquoise pools hidden out back. There wasn't much unknown to me in Vegas anymore- crime had a way of seeping into every crease and corner of this place.
"Good morning detective. I'm sure you're swamped and that's why you haven't returned any of my calls" I mused with a hint of sarcasm, making another slow right.
"You can ignore me all you want, but at least let me know how you're doing"
I knew that short of having her in front of me, in private, there was no way her answer would be anything more than some irritated form of 'I'm fine'. I had become skilled at reading her through her nervous ticks though; the edge to her voice when things were far from okay. I just needed her to talk to me.
"I am about to scope out O'Riley's house, incase you were curious what I'm doing. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, just…. something. Anything"
This entire neighborhood was off limits to us, according to the undersheriff. So much as mentioning the O'Rileys was just asking for a lawsuit in his eyes, so we had been sitting for weeks on our hands like scolded children. Now he was openly threatening us behind this audacious sense of immunity and I was done with it.
Also, I knew Sofia wouldn't let this slide silently. I had officially entered into some desperate times.
Pulling over across from the familiar blue house I killed the engine, fingers lingering over the end call button on my dash. There was so much I needed to say.
"Just call me, please" I spoke tiredly, ending the call before focusing my attention back out the window.
There was a van in the driveway that I recognized as Liam O'Riley's- the brother. The second victims father. It had been difficult to get a read on him during the whirlwind of the case, but no one had clocked him as anything more than a regular, grieving father.
The vehicle in the open garage was a dark blue SUV- a match to the description a neighbour had given on an unfamiliar vehicle parked nearby Catherine's place late last night. I knew that wasn't enough to warrant adequate suspicion for any sort of action to be taken- a real testament to the priorities of the lab, as well as the brazen attitude O'Riley had clearly adopted.
The yard was in pristine condition- flowers beginning to bloom, a bike parked neatly beside the garage. A picture of suburban normalcy. I exhaled sharply, letting a stream of smoke flow out the open window as my phone rang quietly through the car. I glanced at the name, heart dropping as quickly as it had risen. Stubbing my smoke out against the door, I answered it tiredly.
"Good morning Conrad"
I was certain that I wasn't about to receive any admittance of error on his part for completely dismissing my claims that we had the wrong man behind bars, but I was hoping for at least some sort of acknowledgement that we needed to change course.
"Sara," he greeted half heartedly. "I heard about what happened last night…"
"It's the same guy, you know that. He's playing games" I noted a figure moving in the garage, leaning back inconspicuously into my seat.
"I don't want you to think this means that I'm going to let you reopen the case, James O'Riley is still off limits as far as the sheriff is concerned"
Of course.
"But I agree that we can't take this lightly. I don't want Catherine involved with this for now, not while our focus involves Lindsay, but I need you and Grissom in my office before shift tomorrow. Bring a streamlined list of what we have to work with, and we'll go from there.
I closed my eyes in a moment of relief, grateful that not all of Ecklie's actions were dictated by the sheriff. "I'll be there"
Hanging up, I watched the figure that had clearly become visible as James O'Riley move around the garage, motor oil smeared over this overalls; his hands. My jaw tensed as resentment flooded through me- it had been a while since I had seen him in the flesh. Despite the desire to watch him, I knew it was only a matter of time before he noticed me. His guard may be down, but he wasn't dumb enough to drop it entirely.
I waited until he disappeared back into the house before leaving, heading straight towards the lab for a long afternoon of caffeine and paperwork.
/
A loud banging on the door tore me out of a restless sleep, momentarily confused by everything. Feeling around for my phone, I flipped it over, squinting at the too-bright screen- 2 am.
Why, I thought with a tired groan.
Rolling out of bed, I stumbled blindly to the wall, feeling for the light switch. Padding to the door, I glanced through the peep hole, letting out a slow breath of relief. Sofia stood stiffly in front of me - brow furrowed, arms crossed protectively over her chest. I noted her white blouse and dark vest- obviously just off of work. Her jaw was clenched tightly, a common theme these days. Despite the tension dripping off of her, I felt a weight lifted at the sight of her willingly at my doorstep.
She sighed, ponytail falling over her shoulder as she leaned in to bang a fist against the door again, the noise deafening next to my ear. I threw it open, her fist still in mid air- a momentary wave of dejavu hitting me as bright eyes met mine with a flash of surprise.
"Do you possess even a hint of patience?" I rubbed a hand over a sleep-blurred eye, stepping back to allow her space to enter. She brushed past me wordlessly, moving into the kitchen. She headed straight for the fridge as I dropped tiredly down onto a stool at the island, letting out another quiet breath of relief at the intimacy of her actions.
Pulling a beer from the door, she rifled around a drawer for a bottle opener, eventually coming to lean back against the counter, meeting my gaze steadily.
I was silent, taking in the exhaustion induced redness around her eyes, collar bones more prominent than usual. She looked utterly worn down.
"A sixteen year old died in interrogation today- heroin overdose" she took a swig of beer, eyes drifting around my apartment. "Her mother was devastated- I sat with her for two hours tonight, trying to console her"
I leaned back in my seat, biting my tongue. She needed space to speak, not an impossible attempt at comforting words.
"My mother is trying to recruit me to head up the cold cases department in Boulder City. Apparently she see's me as just as much a liability as everyone else here" she scoffed quietly, tipping back her drink once again.
"I can't stop seeing Sedin's face"
My fists clenched at the idea of her working two cities away; at the trauma she was still carrying the full weight of. She ran a hand over her hair, avoiding my eyes.
"You," she gestured tiredly towards me "are staking out probable serial killers homes with no regard for the consequences if anyone found out, let alone the dangers of provoking a psychopath"
I crossed my arms lightly over my chest- I had expected that. Bright eyes finally drifted over to meet mine.
"I haven't slept in three days" she continued, a short pause punctuated by a sharp, quiet inhale- that predictable little quirk. "And I miss you. That's how I'm doing, since you're so interested"
I held her gaze steadily for a few lingering moments, allowing silence to settle gently between us. Not uncomfortable, but full of unspoken thoughts.
She sighed, drowning the better part of her beer before coming to lean against the island, closer to me.
"I mean what were you thinking, Sara? What did you really expect to find over there? He had an officer on him for a month and they didn't see anything"
"Exactly, he thinks he's in the clear now, so we…"
"So we wait for him to slip up" she cut me off sharply, bright eyes baring into mine with complete seriousness. "Don't go over there again. I love you, but I will report you"
I held her gaze for a long moment before my posture softened in acceptance, leaning forward to brush back a stray lock of hair that had slipped from her ponytail.
"I am sorry for everything"
She dropped her gaze down to the counter, picking absently at the beer label. Another heavy silence. I knew she was weighing out the benefits of talking about our unspoken argument.
"You told me that there was nothing between you two…" I let out a heavy breath, forcing myself not to look away as her eyes met mine once again. There it was, the root of our problems.
"I know…"
"I knew there was, I just thought there might be more than twelve hours between you begging me not to go and hooking up with her"
I sighed, offering a look that I hoped conveyed how sorry I was. Words weren't always my strong suit- not when it mattered.
"I know. I… wasn't thinking. I love you, I have feelings for her- you were right about everything, it's… been a lot to sort out"
She nodded, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips after a long moment, tipping her bottle towards me knowingly. "I told you"
I snorted, resting my arms on the island tiredly. "Yeah, you did"
"I'm not mad, Sara. I just needed some time" tipping back the last of her beer, she nodded towards the cupboard. "Do you want a drink?"
I chuckled, dragging a hand through my sleep mussed hair. Only Sofia would have the audacity to offer someone a drink in their own home. "Depends, are you staying?"
She hesitated, lips parting to speak before pressing them closed. I pushed off the stool and moved into the kitchen, grabbing the scotch from the cabinet above the stove.
"You're exhausted and I know you sleep better here"
I pulled two glasses down before turning to face her, exhaustion evident on her features.
"…Have you gone to any of your grief counseling?"
She gave her head a single, firm shake. I sighed, leaning my hip against the counter, observing her closely.
"It could be good, Sof… you know that you have to deal with all of this eventually or it's going to just… tear you apart"
"And have you dealt with everything haunting you, Sara?" she shot, a flash of warning through glacial eyes.
"I'm worried about you" I pressed, ignoring the question. She knew full well I hadn't. "Everyone is worried about you. You take offence to it, but anyone that went through what you did would be struggling. That doesn't make you weak"
She sighed, undoing the top two, constricting buttons of her blouse; tugging her hair out of it's loose ponytail, golden hair cascading down around her shoulders. Leaning back against the counter she pressed her palms into her eyes for a long moment before pushing them through her burnished hair.
"I slept with Eli"
Oh.
My lips parted in surprise, brows furrowing lightly. I tried to ignore the violent pang of irritation that swept through me- he wasn't enough for her, we both knew that. I expected some sort of offhand comment to follow; a crude joke maybe- anything besides the almost imperceptible shrug of her shoulders. The unshed tears that gathered in her eyes as they met mine poignantly.
"That makes me weak"
I shook my head, stepping in front of her. She didn't resist as I enveloped her in my arms, feeling her immediately relax into the close embrace. Vanilla and leather; cigarettes and that sweet smell that was uniquely Sofia. She took a few deep breaths against my hair, fingers digging into my back as she tried to keep a hold on her composure.
"It's okay" I whispered into her hair. We remained like that for a few minutes, strong shoulders shaking lightly in my arms, before she eventually pulled back, impossibly blue eyes meeting mine. I brushed her tears away ungracefully with the pad of my thumb, running a hand over her hair gently.
"Was it that bad?"
A quiet chuckle erupted from her throat, her head falling forward to rest softly against mine for a moment before moving away. I grabbed the whiskey, following her towards the couch.
"Well he's no Catherine, I'll tell you that much" she replied, running a hand over her face as she regained her composure, dropping down onto the couch. "Tell me, do everyone's fantasies live up to the reality?"
"Not that I would tell you" I pursed my lips into an amused smile, coming to sit next to her "But we haven't exactly made it that far. We're taking… a step back for a while"
She quirked an eyebrow, uncorking the whiskey with a quiet chuckle. "You've barely even begun and you're taking a break? That's a terrible sign"
"She hasn't ended things with Liev, and she's being… particularly difficult right now" I mumbled, leaning back tiredly against the couch.
"Do you think it could be because a serial killer is targeting her daughter?" she asked sarcastically, eyebrow quirking even further. I sighed, taking the glass she handed me with an annoyed glance. She was right, it was unfair to expect Catherine to be the picture of stability right now.
"So what's going on?" she asked, pulling her legs up beneath her as she settled into the couch. I took a sip of whiskey before dropping back against the cushions, trying to decide where to begin.
At least one crushing weight had been lifted.
/
A steady knock on the door once again tore me out of a deep sleep, groaning quietly as I blinked my eyes open to meet the agonizing brightness of morning.
What now?
I threw back the covers, laying still for a drawn out moment before dragging myself out of bed. Padding into the living room, I glanced over at the couch on my way by, a pillow thrown over Sofia's head, a tired groan emanating from beneath it.
When did calling people stop being the go-to form of communication?
I glanced through the peephole, irritation dissolving at the sight of Catherine- arms crossed, a folder held loosely in her hand.
A smile tugged at my lips as I ran a hand over my hair in a feeble attempt to appear presentable, glancing down at my dark boxers and Star Trek t-shirt with a regretful sigh. Adjusting the crumpled shirt for good measure, I pulled the door open, blinking against the bright light.
"Good morning" I smiled, leaning tiredly against the door frame. Azure eyes took in my state with a suppressed grin, clearing her throat lightly.
"Did I wake you?" she asked, clearly already aware of the answer.
"No" I shook my head, waves falling chaotically around my shoulders. "I'm up. What are you doing here so early?"
Moving forward, she slid a soft hand to my waist. "First of all, it's ten o'clock." I smiled sheepishly, eliciting a throaty chuckle from her. "I didn't like how we left things, I know I was being unfair, it's been… a long week" she sighed, taking another step into my space.
"Also I found something…" she trailed off as azure eyes became fixed on something behind me, her expression changing from relaxed to ridged instantly. She remained still for a moment before her gaze shot back to meet mine with a familiar flash of violence, hand falling abruptly from my hip.
Despite being completely aware of what had caused this shift, I glanced over my shoulder at Sofia blinking tiredly on the couch, blonde hair mussed into a complete state of disarray, my Harvard shirt that was really more hers than mine at this point draped loosely over her form.
"I didn't realize you had company"
I opened my mouth to reply but was silenced by the venomous glare Catherine had pinned on me, daring me to speak. She hesitated a moment before brushing past me into the apartment, heels clicking violently against the hardwood.
"Sofia" she greeted coldly as she moved to the island.
"Catherine" Sofia replied tiredly, eyes meeting mine as though to tell me she did not sign up for this.
"I found something I thought you should see- it won't take long"
I closed my eyes, leaning back against the door frame heavily for a long moment.
Here we go.