Luke pushed her away, gently but certainly.
"What the hell, Lorelai?" he said quietly.
"I just wanted to say good night," Lorelai answered but she didn't sound sorry. She also didn't look like she was sorry.
"That's not a proper way to say good night when you're married," Luke pointed out.
Lorelai just smiled - Luke couldn't help it - in a flirty way.
"Good night, Luke," she then said. "Thanks for tonight. I really needed that."
"I'm here if you wanna talk again," Luke replied a little rough before letting her out and closing the door behind her.
His lips were burning, even though she had just touched them gently. He hated himself for pushing her away but he knew he'd hate himself even more if he had let her deepen the kiss.
But why had she kissed him in the first place?
What the hell was wrong with her?
She was married, not even a kiss on his cheek would have been appropriate from her side.
Luke didn't know what had gotten into her - but he knew for sure that he wouldn't be able to sleep at all.
•
Lorelai didn't come to the diner the next day.
But the day after she was there, right in the morning. And for a change Kirk wasn't.
"Are we alone?" she asked and Luke gulped. He nodded and Lorelai smiled her breathtaking smile. Then she took his hands, pulled him close and locked their eyes. "How are you?"
"Better than yesterday," Luke said quietly.
"Oh no, what happened yesterday?" Lorelai asked with concern.
"You weren't there."
Lorelai smiled broader. "You missed me?"
Luke nodded. And Lorelai let go of him, got up, leaning back. "What exactly did you miss?" she whispered, slowly starting to unbutton her beige coat.
"All of you," Luke said quietly. "But listen, this is not okay. You're married."
"He doesn't have to know," Lorelai purred and Luke backed away.
He started at Lorelai's undone coat and moaned. How weak he was for her freckled chest.
"No," he said, determined. "I can't do this. I'm not an affair."
"What if I told you that you aren't?" Lorelai said gently.
"What do you mean?"
Lorelai shrugged. "I like you."
"I like you, too," Luke replied. "And I would do anything to get you away from Christopher. Anything but that."
"You're a good man," Lorelai said and sat back down on her stool. "Okay, I think it's time to tell you the rest of my story."
"Really?" Luke was speechless. "The story of how Christopher hurt you and you're still with him?"
"Yes, Luke. That story." Lorelai suddenly stared on her hands. Luke did too and noticed that her nails were bitten off.
"You don't have to talk though, if it makes you uncomfortable," Luke said gently and placed his hand above hers.
"How do you know it makes me uncomfortable?"
"Your nails."
"What about them - oh. You've noticed." Lorelai's voice sounded thin.
"I did. Your nails are usually long and manicured."
"Damn, you look closely," Lorelai said with a light grin. "Yeah, I bite my nails when I'm uncomfortable, stressed or nervous. Turns out I'm quite nervous around you."
"Are you serious? Why? It's just me. Maybe you feel uncomfortable around me." Luke couldn't believe it.
"No, it's not just you," Lorelai replied gently. "It's ... you. I can't explain it.
"Try," Luke breathed.
"Hm, you're nice and gentle, good looking and sweet and I ... I just feel nervous around you ..." Lorelai avoided his eyes. Her cheeks turned darker and Luke had to smile.
Without a warning he took her shoulders, pulled her against him and crashed his lips on hers.
A small moan escaped Lorelai's lips and Luke placed his hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer. Their lips parted and the tips of their tongues touched lightly.
Lorelai moaned louder, letting him enter.
Luke's heart was racing a marathon and the butterflies inside his stomach turned into birds, no, eagles. Suddenly he could feel Lorelai's hands on his cheeks and how she pulled him even closer against him.
Their tongues melted together. Their lips seemed as if they were glued together.
Luke would have continued to kiss her, if he hadn't felt a sudden reaction inside his pants.
Thank God the counter was between them, otherwise she definitely would have felt it.
He pulled away, but only for an inch, so their lips didn't touch anymore. Then he leant his forehead against hers.
"That's how I feel about you," he said quietly.
Lorelai's eyes were still closed. "Is that so?" she whispered.
"Oh, yes. If I could have, I would've kissed you the first day you've set a foot in here."
Now Lorelai opened her eyes. Their blue orbs connected and Luke noticed with a shock that hers were full with tears.
"Oh no, Lorelai," he mumbled and wanted to kiss her again, but this time she rejected him.
"I have to go," she choked out and quickly gathered her things. She took her purse and coat and almost fled out of the diner.
"Don't you want a -"
Coffee, Luke had wanted to say, but the door was already closed.
If Lorelai Hayden left before she got a coffee, the situation had to be serious.
Luke leant against the counter, staring at the coffee machine.
Damn.
They had kissed. Passionately kissed.
Luke went crazy with the thought about how good she had tasted.
And smelled.
And felt.
They would have continued if that ... reaction hadn't occurred.
He closed his eyes, reminiscing the memory. How she had touched him, pulled him closer ...
The door went open, the bell chimed and Luke turned around, hoping it was Lorelai.
But it was Kirk, greeting him and sitting down at his table. "No Lorelai this morning?" he asked, sounding disappointed.
Luke could relate to his disappointment.
•
It was around four in the afternoon.
Luke had a bad day like almost never before, even though he should have been over the moon because of his and Lorelai's kiss from the morning.
But he wasn't.
The fact that she had fled and not even called him, made him realise that he had fucked up. They'd made a huge mistake.
Lorelai was married after all.
That was when Luke realised that they'd never be together and the fact that Christopher Hayden entered just that moment didn't make it better.
And also Christopher went right to him, pointing at him.
"Luke Danes, we have to talk."
Oh. Fuck.
Luke nodded stiffly. Did he know?
He told Caesar to take over for a while, then he told Christopher to follow him upstairs.
Christopher was calm while they walked up but Luke was sure he'd hit him once they were in his apartment.
He let him enter and Christopher looked around. "Nice apartment."
"It was my dad's office once," Luke said stiffly. Christopher hadn't hit him yet. Was that a good sign?
"Hmm," the other man just said and sat down on the couch.
"Have a seat, will you," Luke said gruffly and Chris laughed.
"Relax. I came to talk about my wife."
His wife.
Luke swallowed hard and nodded. "What about her? Is she okay?"
"Not really," Christopher sighed and Luke sat down too, far away from him, on a chair.
"What's wrong? Is she back at the clinic?"
"Wow, she told you everything, huh?" Chris said and Luke shook his head.
"Not everything."
"I see. But she tells me everything."
Luke's heart skipped a beat. Oh.
"What has she told you?"
"I know you kissed."
He sounded so calm, Luke was sure he would kill him any second. He scanned his body, looking for a hidden knife or gun.
"I know that she started the whole thing. I know you pushed her back because she's married to me. And I know that you care about her deeply."
Now he even smiled.
Luke was confused. "Aren't you mad?" he dared to ask.
"Oh, please. I'm above that," Christopher replied calmly. "Anyway, she was a bit done today, as she ended her shift. She came home and cried. I just needed to talk to you after that. She likes you as well, Luke. Here's the thing - I have an appointment tonight and Rory's with a friend. Why don't you come over so you two can talk?"
"What?" Luke asked. "Are you serious?"
"Totally. I want her to be happy again."
Christopher seemed honest. And calm. Not angry at all. Not jealous or mad. Not even a bit.
"I'm confused," Luke pointed out. "I kissed your wife."
Christopher sighed. "Talk to her. She has to explain one thing or two to you. I could do, too ... but that's her job. I beg you, go to her tonight. Do whatever you want to do and need to do. She needs you and you need her, right?"
"This conversation is weird," Luke muttered and Christopher laughed.
"Promise me to visit her tonight and it'll all make sense." He stood up and offered his hand to Luke.
Luke eyed the outstretched hand. "Are you going to kill me, Mr. Hayden?"
"Why would you think so? No, I won't. And please, Chris is fine."
"Hm. Okay, Chris," Luke said and accepted the hand shake.
Christopher smiled lightly. "Thanks for the talk. I'll be leaving at seven."
Luke nodded stiffly, his mind turning.
He watched Chris walk out of the door, not sure what just had happened.
He had kissed a married woman and her husband was fine with it. More than that, he was pushing them together.
This was weirdness on a very high level.
But Luke knew what he'd do. Of course he would go to her house tonight, to talk to her.
And if Chris had lied to him and was just waiting to actually kill him, his suffering and craving for Lorelai would at least be over then.
•
At eight o'clock straight he rang the doorbell. He hid the bouquet of flowers behind his back, in case someone who wasn't Lorelai would open.
But he was lucky.
Lorelai opened.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise. It seemed she hadn't expected anyone, as she was wearing silky, light purple pyjamas and no make up. Her hair was done in a messy bun and Luke had to smile.
She was stunning.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
Lorelai nodded and stepped aside to let him enter. She locked the door and turned to him.
"These are for you," Luke mumbled and pressed the flowers against her chest.
"Wow, thanks," Lorelai said quietly. "Why?"
"Because this morning hasn't ended well." He looked around. "Are you alone?"
"Yes," Lorelai simply replied.
Oh.
Wow.
So Chris really hadn't intended to kill him.
"Where's Chris?"
"Chris," Lorelai started with a grin, "has a date."
"A work date?" Luke asked and Lorelai shook her head.
"A hot date with a hot woman that will eventually end with them both having sex," she said casually and Luke's mouth dropped open.
"Okay, Lorelai, now talk to me. I am so confused about your and Christopher's relationship," he shouted, way louder than he had wanted to.
"Okay, okay," Lorelai shouted back, grabbed his hand and pulled him into the huge living room. She forced him to sit down on the couch and started pacing up and down in front of him. "I'm going to tell you everything and you are not going to interrupt me, are we clear?"
Luke just nodded and Lorelai took a deep breath before she started telling everything to him.
"Rory was six and Chris and I had been married for four years. And already back then we both knew that it had been a mistake. We married with eighteen, because Chris proposed and I said yes. And Chris proposed because my dad had wanted him to. You know that story already. Anyway, we were only twenty-two, we had a six year old daughter in school but we were a typical married couple already. We fought constantly. We didn't have sex anymore. Like ... nothing. I didn't want him to touch me, he didn't want to touch me. We talked about divorce but stayed together because of Rory, money and my parents. I know. Very stupid."
She sighed.
"So, Rory was six and I knew I didn't love him anymore. No, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I still cared about him deeply. He turned out to be a very good friend, he was always there for me, but we weren't in love anymore. And one day I found out why he wasn't in love with me anymore. Chris had an affair."
Luke gasped and Lorelai shot a look at him.
"No interruptions. Yes, Chris had met a girl and he had been sleeping with her behind my back. When he told me, I was indifferent about it. I didn't care. I wasn't even jealous and I told him. I said it was okay for me. I told him, he could continue sleeping with her, and if he ever notices that he's in love with her, we'd get a divorce. After that he told me I could do the same if I wanted to. The same night I went out and went home with a guy. I told Chris the next day and he ... he congratulated me like a friend. We had a long talk after that and decided to stay together for various reasons. We've been in an open marriage ever since then."
Lorelai finally came to stand in front of Luke and looked down at him.
"We're married. But we're nothing more than friends. It works like an alibi marriage. He has had so many affairs since then and so have I. It was okay for me ... until I met you."
Luke stared back at her without saying a word. Lorelai chuckled.
"You can talk now."
"Why is it different with me?" Luke asked quietly.
"Because I don't want you to be my affair," Lorelai whispered and sat down next to him. She placed her hand on his thigh, gently caressing it. "There are feelings I have never felt before. I have strong feelings for you. And I'm mentally exhausted, because I've never thought that I would be the one to fall in love with someone. I always thought it would be Chris ... I've always imagined how he told me he had fallen for a girl and how happy I'd be for him. How we'd tell Rory and our parents. It was so easy in my mind." She looked at him. "It's not that easy in reality."
Luke released the breath he had been holding. "Why? I'm in love with you too," he said quietly and Lorelai's features softened.
"I can't be with you," she whispered, followed by tears streaming out of her eyes. "It's too complicated. I can't do this to my daughter and ... everyone will talk about me and my parents will cut me out of their will."
She jumped up.
"Get out of here," she ordered.
"Lorelai, let's talk like adults," Luke pleaded but Lorelai shook her head, determined.
"Get out. It hurts seeing you." She tried to laugh but it turned out to be a sob.
"Shh," Luke mumbled and took a brave step forward, hugging her. Lorelai cried into his shoulder quietly.
"I can't be with you. It won't work. If I wasn't only having those feelings ..."
Luke was speechless.
Lorelai Hayden was in love with him. She had said he was more than an affair. And still she didn't want to to divorce Christopher.
Because of her daughter, for sure.
There was only one solution.
"Hey, baby, listen here," he mumbled and kissed her temple. "I won't ask you to divorce him. I'm okay with an affair. Maybe it won't work out anyway. I'm ready to try. I love you and I want to try."
Lorelai looked at him. Even with red eyes she looked gorgeous. "Really?" she sniffed.
"Really." Luke kissed her forehead. "I'd rather be your affair than lose you."
Lorelai chuckled lightly. "Let's talk some more, then," she whispered and placed her head on his shoulder.