Unrest

As it turned out, the old gods weren't the most... methodical, shall we say.

I'd had a string of spontaneous adventures, mostly up at the Wall but sometimes in Northern Councils. There was an interesting time in Essos where I'd been guaranteed a 'we won't kill you' by the guild of Faceless Men and honestly, I don't think they could. The gods had heavily implied that they needed me for the foreseeable future but I wasn't keen to try out my potential immortality. They had been strong enough to drag me here, but how did I know they could resurrect me? Besides, dying was likely to hurt.

I had other things to do.

Like wake up.

The gods seemed to have taken some inspiration from 'Sleeping Beauty' because every time I fell asleep (was pulled into a meeting with them), I woke up in the exact same place just at a different time.

Cregan, the force of nature that he was, had cajoled me into accepting one of the underground rooms of Winterfell. In the end, I had conceded and been given my own personal bed. It was incredibly comfortable.

I didn't like it though.

Generally, I stayed in a time period for anywhere from an hour to a week but it was so brief that I never really got the chance to settle in before moving on. It was rather annoying. After countless days passing in this matter, I was told that I would actually get as long as necessary to stay in the next time.

I was determined to drag it on for as long as possible.

Maybe even make some friends. I still wanted to go back to being Luna but if I was going to be tossed around the time line like a rag-doll, I might as well enjoy it. It was better than endlessly suffering because I couldn't let myself have some fun.

I might even be able to fully accept my new reality.

Maybe that was going a bit too far.

Grave

When I awoke for my (hopefully long) new mission, the first thing I had noticed was my change of location. I was laying on something hard and cold and unless I was still in the clothes I'd been in last time, I was going to get a pretty terrible cold. I wasn't looking forward to it. I hated colds. In my first incarnation, I'd gotten enough to cover my second and this one too.

I opened my eyes only to be met with blackness. Now this wasn't unusual per se for winter in Winterfell but even in the dead of night, it didn't look like this. No, it almost felt like there way a roof close to me - like I was in a small crevice. I raised one hand probingly, I didn't enjoy hitting my head and nearly gasped when only half an arm away from my head, I felt polished, smooth, cool stone.

I knew I was in a stone box of some sort.

It wasn't a huge leap of knowledge to assume that I was where I'd guessed when I first stirred. I was in a coffin. An expensive coffin by the feel of it. Polished stone took work.

I managed not to scream.

Now, I just had to get out. I could Apparate but I might accidentally twist my ankle and I didn't want to freak any kids out. Besides, I didn't know if things were in the same place or not and I didn't want to end up on top of somebody. Instead, I chose to wait a bit and listen.

It was a good thing I did.

I gradually heard two voices getting closer and closer before they stopped a while away. Their words would have been indiscernible, if I hadn't had the pleasure of knowing the Weasley twins. Those two had inadvertently or even blatantly equipped me with all sorts of useful spells. I hadn't had such comprehensive knowledge of spells or lack thereof so my instinct was to try to cast. I could theoretically not use any spells but I'd end up missing something so instead I shut up and listened.

"...crypts, King Stark..."

"...King Baratheon..."

"...my sister, Lyanna..."

"...polished tomb..."

Inwardly, I panicked as thundering footsteps approached my tomb. As touched as I was that I'd been 'buried' in the exclusive Stark tombs, I had other things to think about. Perhaps if I planned my escape wisely, I could manage to get away?

As the lid of my tomb seemed to shift, I quietly Apparated away. It took quite a bit of effort to do so - the loudness of Apparation depended on how you were doing it. Wandless Apparation was rather loud because you were forcing more energy than strictly necessary to do it so it had to go somewhere.

Apparation using a very well suited wand generally gave off a small pop. As I had no well-fitting wand, I had to perform Wandless Apparation. I couldn't muffle the crack so instead, I had to simultaneously cast a Silencing spell.

It wasn't quite simultaneous but it covered my tracks well.

I Disillusioned myself and peeked at my tomb. King Robert Baratheon was examining my tomb - only to turn away. Relief flickered across King Eddard Stark's features.

I was both annoyed and relieved.

Relieved because I had no doubt it would have started a conflict if he had done it and annoyance because after all that effort, my work had been for naught. I could have just stayed there. I hadn't actually needed to expend my magic, which was limited, but I'd done it anyway.

Oh well, better safe than sorry.

Now I was thinking about it, why hadn't I just Disillusioned myself in the first place? But if he had found the tomb empty, Baratheon might have tried to grasp any hidden contents. I had never been groped and I wasn't planning to be. King or not, no one had that right, absolutely no one.

Baratheon had a reputation and I didn't think the shoe didn't fit.

If I could help it, I was going nowhere near the man.

Title

As it turned out, I had to go near him. I had to go closer than near him.

And I was only a plain girl - I couldn't imagine how bad it must be for the prettier ones.

Honestly, did no one find a sixteen - I looked sixteen, anyway, - year old girl going near a leery man more than three times her age a bit wrong? I know sixteen is/was the age of consent but I wasn't even an adult by modern standards.

But this wasn't modern standards.

Any girl who had flowered could be married to a man who was anywhere from a baby to fifty years old. I hoped it was only the Southron standards. Marriage was equivalent to slave rape for them. A woman was her husband's pleasure slave basically and I hated it.

What I hated even more was that I couldn't speak my mind and yell at them because I was a only a child. But still old enough to get leered at. And because it would start a war and as annoyed as I was, I didn't want war.

But let me backtrack a bit to how I found myself in this situation.

Being the responsible person that I am, I went to find King Stark to let him know that a. I was awake and b. because of a., he didn't have to worry about anyone coming across sleeping beauty.

When I finally found a gap, I approached him.

I wasn't sure how well Eddard could control his emotions so I quickly threw up a few 'Notice-Me-Not' charms.

"Your grace" I addressed.

The Stark spun around to greet me.

"Yes?"

I wasn't sure if he had recognised me or not but I wasn't about to shoot myself in the foot.

"I am sorry for not waking sooner. Where am I to go?"

"Wait for me by my solar." he dismissed.

Now I'm fully prepared to admit that subtlety isn't one of my strongest suits but I thought the conversation had gone well. I looked like a regretful servant who had slept in and he seemed the disgruntled employer. Even if it hadn't gone as well as I hoped, I had thrown up several 'Notice-Me-Nots' so our tracks were covered.

Either way, who would expect the truth? There wasn't much to be gleaned from our conversation, was there? That was a rhetorical question.

I had no idea where the solar was, so I stopped to ask a person scurrying by. It wasn't like I could use a 'Point-Me'. Firstly, I'd have to manage Wandlessly and secondly, that would have been rather difficult to conceal.

The man agreed to show me the way there, if I helped him carry the wine to the hall, where King Robert feasted. So, I found myself in a bit of a predicament. I couldn't very well refuse to offer him wine but his expression was quite frankly disturbing. As an asexual and an aromantic, I was not interested.

The problem was telling him that. I did not trust the man.

In the end, I sucked it up, quickly filled a goblet, put in on his table and legged it. I wasn't sure if he'd tried to reach for me but I was long gone. Happily long gone.

The servant I'd met earlier introduced himself as Alwin Karstark, Heir of House Karstark, and winked. I dearly hoped he knew who I was because otherwise, I was worried for the future of House Karstark...

"Nice to meet you in person, Shaman."

... I ... I'd forgotten about that.

Last time I'd been awake, some children had been intent on giving me a name.

Seeing no reason to deny them, we set to work. They were determined it would be the 'bestest' name ever. I had a soft spot for children.

Finally, they had decided they'd rather give me a title and somehow, that's where we ended up.

I suppose it could have been a lot worse. I didn't even dislike it, I simply wasn't used to it yet. If everyone was calling me that now, I supposed I might as well go with it. Why shouldn't I?

If I was going to stay in this time, it was good to have some sort of term I could be addressed by. It was better than being prodded by an enthusiastic child. I might like children but that didn't mean I thought they were perfect and often, they got a little too carried away.

I lost my rose tinted glasses four years into my first incarnation but they weren't fully destroyed until four years after that.

Details

My first meeting (at least properly) with Eddard Stark went... well.

The man was concerned about the imminent problem (I always woke up then) but I gleefully told him the old gods had given me a bit of a break though if they deemed it necessary, I had to go back to work.

Eddard coerced me into calling him Eddard rather than King or Stark - I don't know what it is with Starks convincing me to do things. I should stop being so nice. But I couldn't exactly turn it off - it wasn't a switch so there wasn't much I could do.

My hunch had been right - the arrival of another King had thrown up the question of what to do with me. They couldn't just leave me in the room I had come to call mine - what if someone got up to some exploring so Eddard had decided the safest place for me would be the crypts. It was a good idea but it was a shame I hadn't woken up a little while ago. Would have saved them all that time and effort. I really needed to go thank the coffin maker, it had actually been comfortable in their, likely because there'd been some air holes.

By the end, I was calling the Magnar 'Eddard', I'd been given a bedroom and we'd formulated a cover story.

I was a bastard named Shae Nan Snow and my 'child' (I had yet to procure one) often meant I wasn't at the castle all the time. It was them who'd mangled my name to Shaman which had simply become my new one.

It sounded like a pretty decent cover story to me, except for one thing. One big, glaring plot hole. The fact I didn't actually have a child. None of the visitors were going to ask about said child anyway.

Speaking about children, Eddard was expecting his firstborn soon. His wife, none other than Catelyn Stark (still wasn't sure how that came about) was due anytime soon. Often, I spotted Catelyn smiling at Jon Snow and she went out of her way to make sure he was alright.

It seemed this Catelyn understood that bastards didn't choose to be born. Still, in the presence of Southron ladies, I was unanimously chosen to look after him. As the oldest, they argued, I had the most experience with children. They weren't wrong and Jon liked spending time with me so I didn't mind too much. Or at least, as much as a baby liked anything.

I wasn't sure if Catelyn knew who Jon's parents were. The Eddard of this timeline had told me the tale of Rhaegar and Lyanna.

In the end, Lyanna had been kidnapped but from what I understood, she had Stockholm Syndrome. It had been Lyanna seducing Rhaegar and for that Eddard and I weee glad. It might not have been the best but at the end of the day, it had been her choice, thankfully.

Further pressing the next day revealed that Catelyn did not know of Jon's origins. While it warmed my heart that she still cared for him, I didn't understand why Eddard had not told Catelyn the truth.

His explanation: childbirth.

He wasn't a dumb man and he didn't want to do anything that could put Catelyn and the baby at risk. Fair enough., I conceded but she was going to get angrier, the longer he kept it from her.

Catelyn herself was a sharp woman.

Her fate here had been decidedly more tragic, she had been exiled because there had been some decidedly nasty rumours about Baelish defiling her. It showed just how important daughters were to Hoster Tully when he promptly exiled her without even checking the credibility.

Finally, she had made her way North and become a scholar. She had then met Eddard and well... they'd fallen in love.

Catelyn was not going to crack because her husband told her the truth about his 'bastard' boy but there was no persuading that man when he made his mind up.

And so, I settled for waiting.

As much as I wanted to spill, it really wasn't my story to tell and I'd told Eddard that if he didn't tell her within two days of the child's birth, I'd tell her the truth. That had been our agreement. I'd wait but he'd better tell her!

Childless

I should have known it was going too well.

It all started with a rather innocent question (as innocent as they could get, at least) from one of the ladies. They had taken to taking short walks together outside and I was often out there - usually with Jon.

It was all my fault really.

They had been trying to make small talk (which I absolutely hate) because they knew I would speak to Catelyn to return Jon and were somehow hoping I'd help... bitter her up? again them favour? I wasn't exactly sure.

One of them had made a comment about how my child was and how I ought bring her to play with Jon. Was it a he or a she? How old? Did they look like me?

It all went down the drain when, just as Catelyn came to rescue me, they told me to bring the child when possible. It had been an extremely narrow escape and really, I could only see one way out. I had always wanted to adopt a child and since I was staying a while, it should be fine.

Now, I needed to find one.