12th Christmas
Babbit was under the bed talking softly and Walter rolled to the edge to look down with a soft frown.
Bethy had lost another dress as Babbit wore it over his jeans and the little converse were poking out with the laced socks on as Babbit hissed again.
"Babs?"
"Bert won't come out" Babs sighed softly, "I don't think he is used to my voice yet, doesn't know I am his Mama yet and he's scared."
"Oh god" Walter flopped back and Babbit growled that he was scaring him more.
"Why did you call him Bert?" Walter asked as he slid off the bed and lay down as well.
"Walter, can I ask you something?" Babbit asked softly, rolling onto his side to look at his big brother and Walter smiled as he nodded.
"Is it wrong to be a bit miffed about Ton?" Babbit frowned, "Sometimes I want a cuddle but he seems to be getting a lot of them that used to be mine. Does it make me bad to feel a bit … squished to one side?"
"I love my Taddy" Walter said after he thought about it for a few minutes, "for the longest time it was me and Taddy against the world and I remember cuddles in the big bed. Then Daddy was there and it felt different but after a while it was nice too. Then came you."
Babbit blinked.
"Taddy loved you so much, fussed and preened and gushed" Walter sighed, "I felt …squished. Taddy let me meet you, peer at you in your little glass case and I saw how much you needed us. So …you came home."
"I love you Babbit" he smiled as he reached out to stroke his little cheek, "You are my bestest friend and I think you are so lovely and sweet. I can't imagine life without you here, with me. You are my partner in crime, ya know? You fill me with such happiness and sometimes it's you I want a cuddle from, ya know?"
Babbit smiled as he shuffled closer and hugged Walter, "So …Tonny is the same?"
"Yeah. I love cuddles with him, so do you" Walter laughed, "It's OK to feel angry sometimes though. Taddy said so. He said that it doesn't make you a bad person to be jealous or annoyed, it makes you real. Loving and forgiving makes you stronger."
"We have all lost someone" Babbit said with sorrow, "All. My Mama didn't love me, yours died. Fen's too. Tonny lost too. Sad. We all lost. We all win. We all get Taddy and Daddy and Papa John. Is it bad to be happy that we won?"
"No" Walter laughed, "Babs, there's a lizard on your leg."
Babbit looked down and grinned "Bert. Since this is your first infarction, I'll let it slide."
"Infraction" Walter said with glee, "An infarction is something to do with your heart."
"Oh" Babbit flopped back with a sigh, "Bugger. I knew that book about medicine Uncle Owen gave me was gonna able my mind!"
"Addle, ya great numpty" Walter giggled, "Lords, you are getting worse!"
"Too many words" Babbit agreed, "they all fight to escape."
"Maybe you should sing" Walter suggested, "Then you can sing with me."
Babbit smiled and leaned in, kissing his brother on the cheek as he remembered how much he loved him.
"I gotta put Bert away, Taddy is still having a brain explosion over him" Babbit finally rose and wandered out of the room as Walter leaned back against his bed resisting the urge to yell 'Infarction' at him.
He remembered that day in the hose tower, his Taddy cuddling him and whispering softly that it was OK to be angry and even to feel hateful, it didn't make you bad. How you act on your feelings, how you treat others, that is what makes you the person you truly are.
After all, Taddy has an angry side too, he was fierce but he chose to be a good person.
As should we all.