For the next few weeks, Claire kept to herself. The Wardens would occasionally say hello in passing or if they came to the kitchen to sneak some food, but for the most part, she had no conversations with anyone. She avoided the Fade as well, dreading the idea of even touching the knight-commander's mind. She knew they had the Litany of Adralla, but she wasn't sure they would use it. She could always lie to Anders... Except that she would feel horrible about it. She had no idea what the ramifications of him getting out early would be, but she could see it going badly. How could she just tell him that she saw his future? That she knew what was going to happen to him in the next seven years? And what he was going to do to the world?

Aside from those thoughts, Claire worked as hard as she could and constantly kept herself busy for fear she would fall into a deep depression. She had found the garden staff and they allowed her to help out in her free time and she would just listen to them chatter as they tended to the plants. She learned all the Ferelden plants, as there were some she didn't recognize, and she would recite how to make the potions in her head, not wanting Ilina's teachings to go to waste. Maryska's daughter was a young girl by this time, and just the thought of them made Claire want to go back. Would they accept her back? The odd pale girl from the north?

Strange little things also kept happening to Claire during that time as well. After her first two days, someone must have learned she wasn't eating much and had started putting out food specifically for her, though she wasn't sure who. Dona and Ian claimed they didn't know either, so Claire stopped pursuing it and just accepted that someone was going to make sure she ate. Another thing was that on her second morning there, someone had replaced her shoes with soft leather boots that actually fit. On the third day, she found a dress draped over her chest with a note saying it was for her.

By the middle of the second month she was there, Dona had her run out to the market to get special supplies, making it her first trip into the city since she had arrived. She hurried out the front door, a little excited to be out and about again, but as she got to the gate, she felt like she was being followed. She stole a quick glance and noticed a Grey Warden mage behind her. He had light brown hair cut short on the sides but long enough up top that it fell down onto his forehead, and he seemed to just be going about his normal business. She shrugged off the paranoia and focused instead on her task. She needed to hurry and find the grocer with the fresh produce.

"Excuse me." She stopped and looked back. The mage had caught up to her and was smiling at her. "I've seen you around the base, haven't I? My name's Cedrik."

"Hello, I'm Claire." She said. "I work in the kitchen and I'm just picking up some things for dinner."

"Mind if I join you? I've nothing better to do with my time off." His hazel eyes seemed to be laughing and she felt her heart flutter when their gaze met.

"Um, sure, I suppose." She said. Surely he could tell she was a mage... She had been avoiding anyone who looked like a mage because of how mages could sense the power in each other, much like Grey Wardens could sense the taint. Surely this Cedrik could feel hers... Unless maybe he just wasn't paying attention?

"How do you like working with the Wardens?" He asked.

"It's kinda fun, though I'm so busy I hardly notice anything around me." She said. "There's a lot to do there."

"True, and it's the people like you that make our job so much easier." He chuckled. "Could you imagine us Wardens doing everything? There'd be no time for practice!" She had gotten to the grocer and handed the man her list and the basket.

"It would be terrible indeed." She said. "We need you Wardens, no matter what most people think. The darkspawn aren't gone, the dwarves fight them all the time, and there will be another Blight one of these days." He eyed her suspiciously.

"How strange to hear someone say that." He said. "And the Blight may be closer at hand than you imagine, so we must stay ever vigilant."

"Maybe if people talked to dwarves more they wouldn't be so keen on saying the darkspawn are gone." Clair grumbled. "How horribly selfish of us surfacers to take the dwarves for granted. They are our shield."

"You sound like you've spent time with the dwarves." He said.

"Not enough..." She shrugged. The grocer handed her the basket back and she passed off the coin before heading back towards the base.

"Still, I'm finding it very strange indeed that you would know so much about the dwarves and the darkspawn." Cedrik's gaze was making her nervous and she wished he would leave her alone. "Maker knows it's hard enough to convince the people of Ferelden that we're needed, it makes me worry that if there is a Blight, they'll think they can defeat it without us."

"Because people don't know how an archdemon is killed." Claire clamped her mouth shut too late and wished the world would open up and swallow her. He grabbed her roughly by the arm and practically dragged her into the courtyard and over to a small secluded area where he pinned her against the wall, making her drop the basket. She was shaking, with tears pouring down her face, and she thought she was going to pass out from the panic attack.

"How do you know that?" Cedrik hissed, pinning her harder, bruising her. "How would you know how an archdemon is killed? That's not something we talk about! Not even all the Wardens know that! Answer me!"

"Th-the m-magister... he... he had ancient manuscripts." She was going to throw up. "Please, please let me go..." She started sobbing. "I didn't know it was wrong... please..." She was so glad she was in enough control of her magic that nothing was leaking. She knew what would happen if she lost control... He loosened his grip and started healing her.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice much softer and shaky. "I shouldn't have lost it with you." He moved away from her, cursing under his breath as he ran a hand over his face. She quickly picked up the basket, glad to see nothing had fallen out, and started walking back to the entrance.

"Wait." He said, touching her arm. She jerked away and stared at him, afraid he might do something else. When he just looked at her, unable to say anything, she ran through the door and headed for the kitchen.

"What took you so long?" Dona asked, grabbing the basket.

"I'm sorry, I was waylaid." Claire said. "It won't happen again." The cook gave her a strange look, then shooed her off.

"Go, get cleaned up." Dona said. "You're a mess." Claire nodded and headed to the washroom, praying the mage wouldn't find her again. She prayed he would try to avoid her, something she would be very happy about. She was so thankful the washroom was empty and proceeded to heat her tub of water before soaking her feet and washing her face. Maybe she should just fly away and pretend she had never met anyone in Denerim, pretend that Anders never existed... just fly off, find Par Vollen and then keep going. Who was she kidding, she couldn't pretend she'd never met Anders, although perhaps it would be better if she were to make herself a dim memory for him... make it so that she had died all those years ago...

She spent the rest of the day hiding, only going to bed long after everyone else, then avoided the Fade as well. She wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone.

Cedrik was far too embarrassed to speak to anyone about what he'd done to Claire, or what she'd told him, but he was worried about her. He thought to find her in the kitchen, but even the elf was missing. Dona was busy chopping up the vegetables Claire had bought, so he knew she had to have been there.

"Hey, where's Claire?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

Dona shrugged. "Dunno, she dropped the basket off, her face a mess. Said she got waylaid and she was sorry she was late, swore it wouldn't happen again, as if she were in trouble! So I told her to go get cleaned up and haven't seen her since. Something must have happened, her eyes were red from crying, and if I find that someone hurt her, the bastard is going to have to deal with me!" She slammed her knife down on the cutting board, scaring Cedrik.

"Oh, well, thank you anyway." He left the kitchen feeling nervous and defeated and found himself walking up to the commander's office. Duncan would know what to do, and he should know what she knew. He braced himself, then knocked. He heard the call to come in, so he opened the door and slowly walked in.

"Yes?" Duncan asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I... don't know." He said. "That kitchen girl, Claire? I spoke with her today and found out she knows a lot about the Grey Wardens. After I said I wouldn't be surprised if people thought they could defeat a Blight without us, she said, 'Because people don't know how an archdemon is killed.' I know she didn't explicitly say she knew how, but I... panicked. I yelled at her... demanded to know how she knew. She said the magister had ancient transcripts or something. I terrified her... I hurt her, Duncan, and now I can't find her!"

Duncan rested his elbows on his desk, running his hands over his face tiredly. "And so you think she's left?"

"I don't know..." Cedrik said.

"There is something that woman is hiding." Duncan said. "While I may believe she's telling the truth about being a slave, there's more to it than just that. You didn't notice anything about her, magically?"

"Magical?" Cedrik was surprised. "You think she's a mage?"

"I think it is a possibility, yes."

"But why would she be working in the kitchen then?" Cedrik asked. "Why not ask to be recruited?"

"If she knows as much as she seems to about us, then she would know about the Joining." Duncan stood up and looked outside. "Not many would want to go through that, knowing the cost."

"I can't believe there would be written documentation of these things in Tevinter..." Cedrik said. "It just seems so... strange. Yet, how else could she know?"

"And if she already knows so much, what would she gain by staying here if she were a spy?"

The following day, Claire acted as if nothing had happened, but it was still bothering her. Dona didn't say anything, but she kept giving Claire strange looks and it was making her nervous. Would Cedrik tell Duncan about the confrontation? And how would the commander react? Would they kick her out, or lock her up? She was so distracted that she nicked herself with the knife. As she stared stupidly at the blood dripping down her hand, Dona grabbed the knife and potato from her and shoved her towards the door.

"You go find Cedrik, get that healed." She said. "No idea what's gotten into you, girl, but you need to figure it out. You're useless to me like this." Claire looked at her, feeling the tears coming yet again. Maker, she was tired of crying.

"Y-yes, my lady." She said, hurrying out the door. My lady? She groaned. Once she was alone, she healed her hand. There was no need to go bothering Cedrik over something so trivial, nor did she think anyone would notice. She went to the washroom and put her hand in the tub, watching the blood mingle with the water...

"Dona said you got injured." Claire jumped up and stared at Cedrik, panicking. She hadn't thought things would happen so quickly.

"It was just a scratch." She said, wishing she hadn't healed herself. How was she going to explain that? "I'm not even bleeding anymore."

"Dona isn't usually one to exaggerate... Let me see." He reached for her hand, but she backed away, her fear rising up in her again. He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to her. "Why don't you want me to see?" He grabbed her hand before she could move away and looked it over. Seeing nothing, he looked up at her in shock. "You healed it, didn't you? You are a mage. Why didn't I see it before?" She broke down sobbing, falling to her knees, knowing they wouldn't let her stay any longer. Why would they let a mage work in the kitchen? What if they tried to recruit her? Or suspected her of espionage?

"Please..." She cried. "Please don't tell anyone..."

"You know I can't do that." He said, kneeling down in front of her. "What are you so afraid of? Were you even really a slave in Tevinter, or was that just a cover?" She shook her head.

"I didn't lie." She said. "I did escape from slavery in Tevinter... j-just because someone's a mage doesn't mean they can't be made a slave..." He let go of her hand and brushed her hair behind her ear, making her flinch away.

"And so you came to Ferelden, a place you know to be against slavery?" He asked. "Yet a place where there is no freedom for mages. I... think I understand."

"I wasn't born in Tevinter." She said, figuring she might as well tell everything. "After my parents died, I was left in the Korcari Wilds to die, but the Chasind saved me. The shamans tried to help me with my magic, but they couldn't so they sent me to the Witch of the Wilds. After a while, she told me to go to Tevinter to learn... On my way, I was captured by Templars, and they... tortured me, left me for dead. I managed to live and made it to Tevinter, only to be made a slave... I thought that if no one knew what I am... I thought..."

"You thought your life would be easier, but you can't hide your magic forever." He said. "You would have had an easier time hiding in a place without mages, you know. Why come here?"

"I love the Wardens..." She said. "I love what you stand for, I love the equality. Be you prince or lowborn murderer, elf or human, mage or rogue, in the Wardens, it doesn't matter. I wanted to help out."

"Why not join?" He asked.

"I... can't." She said. There were so many reasons she couldn't, and shouldn't, join, but she couldn't tell him. "Just... believe me, please."

"So you do know what the Joining entails." She stared at the floor, not wanting to reply. "You need to talk to Duncan, tell him what you are. It would be better coming from you than me."

"I thought I'd have longer..."

"Just one other thing." He said. "You said the Witch of the Wilds taught you. Is her magic very different from what's taught in the Circle?"

"Very." Claire said. "The Circle is afraid of her magic, claims it doesn't exist... Templars call them maleficar, even if they don't use blood magic..." His eyes lit up and she could tell he was eager to learn more about this Wilder magic. Maybe they would let her stay if she agreed to teach him...

"Come on, let's go talk to Duncan right away." He grabbed her hands and pulled her up, practically dragging her to the door.

"You don't need to hold my hand." She said.

"Oh, right, sorry." He let go, giving her a sheepish grin. "I feel like you're going to disappear on me, though."

"I promise, I won't leave until I'm told to." Despite feeling like she was walking to her doom, whether she was to be made to participate in the Joining or get sent away, Cedrik's excitement brightened her mood. She saw other Wardens watching with curiosity as they made their way to the commander's office and she wondered what they were thinking. She saw Jasper raise an eyebrow, a smirk on his face as if he'd won a bet. Were they guessing she was a mage, then?

"Duncan, Claire has something she'd like to tell you." Cedrik said, pushing Claire into the room.

"Judging by the look on your face, you were right." Duncan said.

"So you were guessing I was a mage?" She asked. "I was really hoping no one would notice..."

"We must always be vigilant." Duncan said. "I have spent my fair share of time with mages. So tell me, then, what would you have me do with you?"

"I'm assuming you mean either go through the Joining or leave..." She sighed.

"So you do know about the Joining as well?" Duncan asked. "Cedrik guessed as much. How much do you know of our order that you would not only know of the Joining, but how an archdemon is killed?" Claire bit her lip, annoyed with herself for giving away so much information.

"I won't tell anyone, I swear." She said. "I know how important it is to keep it secret. If I must leave, then I will, but I cannot go through the Joining."

"And why not?" He asked. She fidgeted, trying to think of anything to say, but she was at a loss. "I cannot force you to give up your secrets, but neither would I be able to allow you to stay. You may pack up your things, then." Claire hung her head, but Cedrik pushed past her.

"Duncan, wait." He said. "She knows Wilder magic, and Tevinter tricks. Maybe we can convince her to stay and teach me those! They could come in very handy! She was trained by the Witch of the Wilds, after all."

Duncan gave an exasperated sigh. "Will you be willing to teach him?" He asked. What could go wrong with teaching him how to shapeshift? It wasn't like they were going to be around much longer anyway... oh Maker, they were all going to die. Why did she have to think of that at a time like this?

"Y-yes." She said, forcing the thoughts of death out of her head. "I can do that."

"Very well, you may stay then." Duncan said. "But if I think you pose a threat in any way..."

"Understood, ser." She said.

Later that day, she went to get her mage gear, with Cedrik trailing behind. Thankfully everything was where she had left it, her spells untouched. However, the look on Cedrik's face when she became a Mabari to dig everything up was laughable, both shocked and excited.

"Maker... You didn't tell me you could shapeshift!" He exclaimed. She wagged the stump of her tail and began digging. Once human again, she dusted her staff off. Oh how she had missed the feel of it in her hands. She would have to put the armor on later, but she missed the weight of it, as well as the freedom of movement it allowed her, rather than the restricting dresses Fereldens loved.

"Let's get back and I can at least begin teaching you."