Security
Noun
The state of feeling safe, stable, and free from fear or anxiety.

SUMMARY: Ishikawa was there even before Hawks realized he needed him to keep him together in the aftermath of the villain attack. Chapter Text

SECURITY

Ishikawa absentmindedly touched the gauze taped on his forehead. He sighed as he rubbed his eye, his vision slightly fuzzy as he searched for his charge. He put on his cracked glasses and made a mental note to always bring a spare with him. He was in a meeting when the attack happened. He instructed nearby agents to take immediate actions and was relieved to receive a text from Kitamura informing him that Hawks had been tasked to evacuate as many people as possible. He didn't want the teen to engage the villain, he didn't think the boy was ready even though he had a few encounters with villains before.

However, his fear came true when he found out that Hawks, and Katsuki, encountered the villain. He didn't know the full details but from the scene he ran into, it seemed Katsuki had taken down the villain. Everything around them showed signs of a huge explosion. He had run straight toward his charge who was kneeling over the agency's youngest trainee, frozen in shock. It took some time to get the now wingless teenager to snap out of his shock. He was relieved that the teenager didn't seem to sustain any serious injury and then his focus moved to Katsuki who was unconscious.

Hawk's voice was trembling when he spoke, "T-Touya… He… check on him, please…"

Ishikawa blinked. He looked around and spotted Endeavour's son lying nearly hidden amongst the rubbles. Most of his upper body charred and he was almost unrecognisable. Anyone who wasn't hurt had come forward to take care of Touya, Katsuki and anyone else who was injured before actual help arrived at the scene.

Ishikawa snapped out of his thoughts when a hand landed on his shoulder heavily. He turned to Kitamura whose right arm was in a sling. His colleague gave him a worried look, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Not sure about the kids though…" he replied.

"The kids are tough. They'll be fine," Kitamura tried to reassure him, and himself. He frowned slightly when he thought about the boys.

Ishikawa sighed, "Physically, yes, but mentally?"

"We'll be there to help them. It's our job."

The other man smiled wryly, "That's not part of the job."

Kitamura huffed, "Well you and I made it our job anyway. We broke one of the rules: Don't get attached to the trainees. And I don't regret it. I'm ready to fight for them if anyone wants to mess those kids up."

Ishikawa smiled, "I'm glad we're on the same boat."

Kitamura patted his back, "C'mon, let's go find our boys."

After asking a nurse and taking a few turns, they found Hawks in the waiting area of the first floor, sitting on a bench alone. He was leaning forward, hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees. His usual cheerful face was sombre for once, his brows furrowed and he frowned deeply. He pressed his clasped hands against his mouth and glanced up every time someone walked in front of him.

Ishikawa and Kitamura frowned at the sight. The boy's guardian approached him and ruffled his hair. The boy jumped at the contact and looked up at him with wide eyes. Ishikawa sighed, "Go home kid. You look like shit."

He was hoping the teenager would notice his cussing but Hawks didn't seem to as his face twisted to worry, "B-but Touya-"

"Is in good hands. They have the best doctors here. Doctors with strong healing quirks," Kitamura assured him. He glanced at Ishikawa, noting the exhaustion and worry in his eyes. Ishikawa nodded at what he said, reassuring the teenager as well.

Hawks nodded absent-mindedly. He let out a shuddering breath and stood up shakily. Ishikawa took a step forward, ready to catch him if he fell. Kitamura frowned in worry, "Do you need a ride back, kid?"

Hawks shook his head, his hair falling over his eyes. He brushed his hair back with his hand, "I'm okay. I'll uhh, I'll stop by Katsuki's room first before I leave."

Kitamura nodded, "You know his room?"

Hawks nodded mutely as he kept his gaze on the floor. The man patted his shoulder, "Take care, kid. Call us if you need anything."

Both men watched as Hawks left the waiting area. Ishikawa flinched when Kitamura nudged him in the ribs, "C'mon, the sooner we settle things, the sooner you can talk with him in private."

"Yeah."

The winged teenager didn't really remember how he ended up standing in front of Katsuki's hospital room. He blinked and cursed; he shouldn't be spacing out! He slammed a fist on his thigh, "Get it together!"

His hand trembled as he raised to knock on the door. He heard a muffled voice inside and opened the door. The Bakugou were all gathered around Katsuki's bed and he felt ashamed for intruding, "Oh, I'll come back later."

"Wait, Hawks!"

He froze and raised his gaze to meet Katsuki's red eyes. He felt a pang of guilt when he realized the boy had been crying if the red nose and bloodshot eyes were any indication. Katsuki whispered something to his parents. Masaru nodded and got up. He approached Hawks carefully, "Come on in, Hawks. Katsuki wants to talk with you."

Hawks fidgeted as he nervously shuffled into the room. He approached the bed and watched as Mitsuki left Katsuki's bed to give him room. Katsuki met his eyes and he was tempted to look away. He was anxious about what the boy was going to ask, "H-How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just a few scrapes and bruises. My back hurts more than anything but I'll live."

Katsuki's brows furrowed, "Your wings…"

The teenager rubbed his neck, "Don't worry, I'll have my feathers back in two days."

"That's good. A-any news about Touya? How is he?"

That's the one question he feared. He really didn't know what happened to the redhead. Is he still alive or… The teenager clenched his fists, his shoulders tensed, "I-I don't know. He's still in the OR."

He watched as the Katsuki's face paled before he ducked his head. He could hear the boy muttering as he dug his nails on his arms, "It's my fault! This is all my fault!"

"No!" said Hawks as he grabbed the boy's shoulders, "It's not your fault, Katsuki. If you wanna blame some, blame me! I have experience in battle. I should've been more useful!"

Masaru placed a hand on the teen's shoulder, "You're wrong. It's no one's fault. Not Katsuki and definitely not you, Hawks-kun."

Tears pricked his eyes and Hawks realized how much he needed to hear that. He blinked and whispered, "T-thank you."

Mitsuki sighed, "If it's anyone to blame it's the villain. You're just brats. Don't shoulder the world on your back. So… stop blaming yourself and move forward." She ruffled her son's spiky hair fondly as she gently said, "Be stronger so you can protect those you care and love."

Katsuki rubbed his face and frowned, "Stop being sappy you hag! It doesn't suit you!"

Mitsuki smirked, "Oh, does it make you feel uncomfortable?"

"It's weird! Quit it!"

Hawks relaxed at the lighter atmosphere, "I guess I'll take my leave."

"You're going?" Katsuki squeaked.

"Yeah, I…" he trailed off at the fear in his young friend's eyes.

Masaru stepped forward, "Katsuki told us you live alone. He's being discharged in a few hours if his test results are fine."

Hawks' eyes widened as he understood what the man was trying to tell him, "No, I can't! I mean it's nice of you to offer but I don't want to be a bother."

"You're not going to be a bother. We have a spare room at our place," said Mitsuki with a huff of annoyance.

"But-"

Masaru bowed at him slightly, "We insist!"

Hawks eyed the man warily. He stiffened when Mitsuki too bowed slightly as she said in a quiet voice, "It's the least we could do. As thanks for looking after our son."

Hawks stared at them, unsure of what to do. One pleading look from his friend was what finally broke him, "A-alright. I'll accept your offer." He bowed at them, lower, "Thank you."

Ishikawa felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket and he quickly fished it out. It was a call from Hawks. He walked away from Kitamura who was talking with a doctor to answer the call. He put the phone to his ear, "Hawks?"

" Ichiro-san. I-is it okay if I sleep over at Katsuki's place? "

Ishikawa blinked, "Yes, of course."

He heard a sigh from the teenager, "Thanks… a-are you alright? You were hurt weren't you?"

"I'm fine. Kitamura-san's injury is far more serious than mine," said the man as he glanced at his colleague who gave him a questioning look at the mention of his name. He mouthed Hawks' name and the man nodded in understanding.

"Have a good rest Hawks. I'll see you tomorrow?"

" Yeah. Okay. You take care too ."

"I don't mind if you want to stay with them for a few days. I'll be busy with what happened today."

" ...I'll think about it ."

"Oh, and Hawks."

" Yeah? "

Ishikawa clenched his fists, "Don't beat yourself too hard. You still managed to help a lot of people escape before more lives were lost. Your effort wasn't for naught."

The teenager was quiet on the other side and Ishikawa was worried for a moment before he heard his voice, " I understand ."

"I'll see you when you're home."

" Okay. Good night, Ichiro-san ."

"Good night."

Ishikawa waited for Hawks to hang up first before he dropped his hand, holding onto the plastic device tightly. He approached Kitamura and the doctor as the man said, "He's being transferred to Musutafu General Hospital. They have better burn care experts and plastic surgeons there. He's stable right now. Our doctors managed to heal the life-threatening wounds. He'll need about a month of physiotherapy though and numerous healing sessions. His muscles were badly burnt and it'll be hard for him to move around freely for a while."

Ishikawa sighed heavily as he rubbed at his tired eyes, "Thank you for your hard work, doctor."

The doctor nodded, "You might have to sign him up for counselling. I can't imagine the trauma he's gone through."

"We already called up our counsellors. The trainees' mental health is our responsibility."

The doctor nodded again, "I have to attend to my other patients. I'll see you men around."

Ishikawa turned to his colleague, "I'm going to call his father."

Kitamura gave him a strained smile, "Good luck. I'll call Tachibana to escort the ambulance."

Both men parted ways. Ishikawa dialled Todoroki Enji's home number. Most agents don't have direct contact with Pro Heroes but since he's in a higher position than most, and he's usually in charge of relaying information to Pro Heroes, he was lucky enough to have the Flame Hero's number. It took a few rings before the call was picked up. Todoroki Enji's rough voice was heard, " Who is this ?"

"I apologize for calling you late, Endeavours-san."

" Just get on with it. "

"Ah, yes," Ishikawa frowned slightly, "It's about your son."

" My son? You mean Touya? "

"Yes. A villain attacked our building and your son was gravely injured during his confrontation. He's being-"

" What are you talking about? He's supposed to be at a friend's place, doing assignments or something. "

Ishikawa frowned. He thought the boy was there to train as usual, "Well, he was with us. And he's badly hurt."

" How bad? "

"Very bad. He's sustained third-degree burns on his arms and chest. They're going to transfer him to Musutafu General Hospital for further treatment."

" I-I see. I will be there ."

"I will send someone to meet you there. They'll fill you on the details we have so far."

" Alright ."

"I'm sorry for what happened, sir."

He didn't get a reply as the other man hung up. Ishikawa sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was beginning to have a headache, probably due to stress or fatigue. He pocketed his phone and went to search for Kitamura at the A&E department. He saw Kitamura standing at the entrance, watching the paramedics preparing to load Touya into the ambulance. Ishikawa saw a familiar black vehicle pulling up behind the ambulance. It was Tachibana. The back doors slammed shut and the ambulance drove off, Tachibana following close behind.

"Endeavor said he'll wait for them at the hospital," said Ishikawa as he stood beside Kitamura.

"How did it go?"

"He didn't say much. He must be in shock."

"Well, Touya's his eldest son."

"I hope the kid pulls through," said Ishikawa with a frown when he remembered how bad the boy looked. He remembered the smell of burnt flesh and it made his stomach roll uncomfortably.

"Don't worry, we've known him since he was six. He's a tough one, stubborn too. He won't go down easily," said Kitamura as he patted his colleague's back.

"Yeah."

"C'mon, I'll send you home so you can rest. It's pretty late."

Ishikawa smiled, "Thank you. It's been a few days since I got home…"

"Yeah. Where's Hawks?"

"He'll be staying with the Bakugou for the night."

"Okay. Let's go."

Hawks looked up as a mug was placed on the table. Masaru smiled tiredly, "Drink, it'll help calm you down."

The teenager reached for the mug and muttered his thanks. He took a careful sip of the liquid and he took a whiff of the drink's aroma. It smelled sweet and tasted slightly bitter on his tongue. He put down the mug, "What is it?"

Masaru took a seat across him and put his hands on the table, fingers intertwined, "It's chamomile tea. If it's bitter, you can add more sugar, or perhaps you'd like soe milk instead?"

Hawks shook his head, his bangs falling over his eyes, "No, it's okay."

"The room's ready for you, Hawks-kun," said Mitsuki as she walked down the stairs.

"Thank you."

Masaru glanced at his wife and she seemed to understand. She sighed and put a hand on her hip, "Katsuki's all cleaned up and I forced him to go to bed."

Her husband smiled, "I think it's best you go to bed too Hawks-kun. I'll bring some spare clothes for you."

"There are some towels in the cupboard. Just use whatever you need, it's okay," said Mitsuki.

Hawks bowed his head, "Thank you."

After cleaning himself of dirt, grime and blood. Hawks put on a black cotton T-shirt and dark red pyjama pants. They were baggy on him but they were comfortable. He rubbed the towel on his head to dry his hair before tossing it into a basket by the door. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and frowned at himself. He brushed his teeth and then headed to the guest room prepared for him. It was a small room across Katsuki's. There's a single bed with dark green sheets, a small bedside table, a wardrobe to his left and a full body mirror beside the door.

Hawks yawned as he approached the bed. He put his phone down on the bedside table. The bed creaked as he put his weight on in. He pulled the blanket over his head and crawled onto the bed. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He was exhausted but he found that he couldn't fall asleep. The scene where Katsuki ran toward the villain and when Touya got impaled was playing in his mind. He unconsciously wiped his hands on the sheet when he remembered all the blood on his hands.

He didn't know how long he had been staring at the ceiling. He's bone dead exhausted but he couldn't sleep. He kept worrying about the redhead. He grabbed his phone and woke up the screen, nothing. He was hoping one of the agents would send updates to him. He wondered about Ishikawa. Did he go home or is he staying at a hotel? The man had just returned to Musutafu that afternoon after having to attend some meetings at Osakafor nearly a week.

There was a quiet knock on his door and he pushed himself up on his elbows as the door cracked open. Katsuki stuck his head in, "Hawks?"

"Hey, Kats. What's wrong?"

The boy closed the door behind him and shuffled toward the bed. He avoided looking at the teenager as he mumbled, "Can't sleep."

"Yeah? Same here, kiddo," said Hawks as he flopped on his back. He scooted to the side and patted the space beside him, "C'mere."

Katsuki looked up at him, his eyes glowing in the dark with the help from the street light filtering through the window. Hawks gave him a reassuring smile, "Let's have a sleepover tonight."

Katsuki's mouth twitched as he held back an amused grin, "This is my house, dumbass. You're the one here for a sleepover."

The teenager chuckled as he watched the boy climb onto the bed. Katsuki lay down on his side, facing his friend. Hawks turned to his side so he could have a more comfortable position to face the boy, "You okay?"

"I dunno," whispered the boy.

Hawks stared at him. He remembered something that someone told him a long time ago, "Hey, it's okay if you're not feeling okay. Does that make sense?"

Katsuki snorted, "Yeah."

The teenager smiled, "Go to sleep, Katsuki."

The boy pouted, which was adorable, and Hawks held his tongue from teasing him, "What about you?"

"I'll sleep if you sleep."

He was startled when the boy grabbed his hand. Katsuki closed his eyes and whispered, "So you don't run away."

Hawks grinned he couldn't resist the need to tease the boy, "Didn't know you're so clingy."

"Shut up, you ass."

Hawks chuckled quietly. He listened as the boy's breathing evened out. Quiet snores escaping the boy's parted lips. The teenager studied the boy's face, it's a rare sight, after all, to see the boy looking so calm without a hint of annoyance or anger on his face. Hawks brushed Katsuki's bangs to the side, "You know? You're so amazing, Katsuki. You beat that villain single-handedly, literally. I didn't do anything. I was so uncool."

The room remained silent. Hawks yawned and pulled the blanket over them. He pressed his forehead against Katsuki's, "I'm glad you're here."

The sound of chirping birds woke him up. He groaned and shifted, burying himself deeper under the blanket. Hawks' brows scrunched together when something tickled his face. He opened his eyes and saw yellow, "Huh?"

He tensed when the hair moved and then there were a pair of red eyes staring straight at him. Both boys shouted in shock and there was a popping sound coming from Katsuki's flailing hands. The blond squawked as he fell off the bed and landed on the floor with a heavy thud. Hawks gasped and scrambled to the edge of the bed, "Kats! You okay?"

Katsuki groaned as he rubbed the back of his head, "Y-yeah."

Hawks grinned as he stared at the boy. Katsuki scowled at him, his cheeks and ears turning red, "It's not funny!"

The teenager started laughing, "You should've seen your face!"

Katsuki growled and he lunged at the older boy, tackling him. They wrestled on the bed, trying to pin the other. A knee to the gut, a scratch on an arm, a palm against a face and tugging of hair. Hawks threw one of his arms in front of his face, "Hey! Watch the face!"

The door slammed open and a dishevelled Mitsuki stood at the door, glowering at them, "Quiet down brats! It's too early for this!"

A sleepy Masaru appeared beside her, "Honey, you're too loud."

She snapped her attention to him, her teeth bared and eyes seeming to glow with her rising temper. Masaru realized he's in trouble. He raised his hands placatingly, "Uhh, I'll go get breakfast ready."

Mitsuki huffed and returned her attention to the boys, "Brats! Go spend that energy running outside!"

"Don't tell me what to do, hag!" said Katsuki just as Hawks said, "Y-yes, ma'am!"

The temperamental woman glared at her son. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, counted to ten and then exhaled slowly, "Katsuki, take Hawks with you and come back in an hour."

"But I-"

"We'll be back in an hour!" said Hawks as he slapped a hand over his friend's mouth before he got them in more trouble.

Mitsuki huffed and walked away. As soon as her footsteps faded, Hawks let out a cry and he shook his hand in the air, "Did you just BIT me?!"

Katsuki stuck out his tongue at the older boy as he slid off the bed, "Get changed. I don't wanna be seen with someone running in his pyjamas."

Hawks pouted, "Do I have to go too?"

"You heard the hag. Better not piss her off any further or she'll be insufferable to deal with all day."

The older boy threw his hands in the air, "Ughh, fine! This is your fault by the way."

"Whatever."

"Wait... I don't have any other clothes."

"I'll tell the old man."

"Hey, Katsuki?"

The blond paused at the door, "What?"

"How are you feeling?" asked Hawks cautiously.

Katsuki was quiet for a long moment, "I'm fine."

Hawks stared at him, assessing him. The boy didn't show much so he didn't pressure him, "Okay."

"Meet me downstairs."

Hawks nodded and watched him walk away. He got off the bed and made the bed, busying himself while he waited for Masaru. A few minutes later, the man appeared with some clothes in his hands. He smiled, "Thank you, Masaru-san."

"It's nothing… Hawks-kun."

"Yeah?"

Masaru hesitated for a moment, "Keep an eye on my boy for me, okay?"

Hawks nodded, "I will."

"Uhhm, do you want me to cut some holes for your…"

"Nah, it's fine. I don't wanna weird anyone out if they see my stumpy wings… and it's kinda embarrassing," said Hawks with a chuckle.

"I see."

Masaru decided to take his leave so the teenager could change. He asked what Hawks would like to drink for breakfast before he left. The teenager took off his T-shirt and he tossed it into a basket that was beside the full body mirror. He stared at his reflection and grimaced at the bruises littering his skin. He looked at his back and made a mental calculation that it'll probably take him about a week to two for all of the feathers to regrow. He sighed. It's been a while since he had these stumps and the last time he lost most of his feathers was when… he shook his head to dismiss the memories. He picked up the shirt on the bed.

Masaru had lent him a red sports T-shirt with a pair of dark blue track pants with two white stripes that went from the waistline down to just above the knees. He looked at his reflection and shrugged. It's not his style but they're comfortable, that's what matters to him. He wrapped the white jacket around his waist as he walked down the stairs.

He was relieved when Mitsuki was missing from the table. He guessed she must be cooling her head off somewhere outside. Katsuki was finishing his toast as Hawks took his seat beside the boy. Masaru placed a warm toast on his plate along with a serving of scrambled eggs. There's a mug of warm cocoa waiting for him too. Hawks smiled and thanked the man as he ate his breakfast in silence. He stole a couple glances at Katsuki and realized the boy was lost in thought since he didn't notice him staring.

When he finished his hot cocoa and put his mug down, Katsuki snapped out of his thoughts and gathered his plate and mug but was stopped by his father, "I'll take care of the dishes. You boys should head out for your morning run."

Katsuki nodded, "Thanks, dad."

Masaru smiled, "Be back in an hour, okay?"

The boy bobbed his head again, "Okay."

Katsuki headed toward the front door to put on his shoes. Hawks tensed when Masaru glanced at him. He smiled, "Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thank you."

Hawks quickly went to the front door to put on his shoes. He was glad he decided to wear his track shoes yesterday instead of his boots. He looked up when Katsuki pulled on his orange windbreaker jacket and zipped it up. The blonde turned to him, "Hurry up, slowpoke."

Hawks wagged a finger at him, "Patience is a virtue, my young friend."

"Tch, I'll go ahead."

Hawks grinned, "I'll catch up. I'm sure you won't go far with those short legs of yours. Ow!"

"Katsuki!" Masaru reprimanded when he caught his son kicking the older boy's shin. His son grumbled and walked out of the house. The man sighed and scratched his head, "Sorry about that."

"Nah, don't sweat it. I deserve that for teasing him," said Hawks amused as he tied his shoelace.

Masaru sighed, "Mitsuki asked him to go for a run because it's his morning routine. Routine helps Katsuki stay focussed and avoid thinking about troubling thoughts."

"I see," said Hawks as he pulled on his shoelace tightly. He quickly moved to tie the other shoe.

"Katsuki… he tends to blame himself for things out of his control. He lets his guilt fester and he questions his self-worth. It makes us… we're still trying to help him find other ways to cope. He believes that asking for help, getting help, makes him weak."

Hawks stood up, "He's not weak."

"But he doesn't see that."

"Well, I'll make him see how strong he is! I'll be off now."

Masaru smiled but this time, he looked tired, "Be careful out there."

The teenager nodded and took off. He knows Katsuki's running route. He had joined him a couple of times for his afternoon run before. Hawks may not be a fan of running but he had been trained for years to build up his stamina. He can jog at a fast pace without getting out of breath for the first ten minutes if he paced himself well. It didn't take him long to spot Katsuki and his bright orange jacket. He slowed down to match the boy's pace, "Hey!"

"About time you catch up."

"And you didn't get far, shorty."

He dodged a swipe from the boy, laughing at the small victory. The two of them ran in silence. The road was starting to get busy as the sun rose higher. When they reached the park, they stopped to get a drink from the vending machine. Katsuki gave him a bottle of isotonic drink and Hawks thanked him. He leaned against the railing and stared at the few children playing on the playground and in the sandbox.

"You think he'll be okay?" asked Katsuki quietly.

"I don't know. But he seems to be a tough guy. He'll pull through."

"If only-"

"Hey. Didn't your dad say it's not our fault? We're just… kids."

Katsuki frowned, "He put himself in danger for us."

"And it was his decision."

Katsuki stood silently beside him, brooding. Hawks tilted his head back, they needed a distraction from depressing thoughts, "Tell me about that friend of yours."

"Huh? Who?"

"The crybaby kid."

"Deku?"

"Yeah. How'd you two meet?"

Katsuki shrugged as he leaned against the railing, "It was because of our mom. The hag and Aunty Inko were close friends in high school. She moved out of town when she got married but then she moved back here when Deku was three or something. I've never seen his dad though. No one talks about him."

Hawks glanced at his friend who was glaring at the ground, "What do you think about his dad?"

"I think men who leave their wife and young son behind are trash. That's what the hag said too. Anyway, we met a month before we got into kindergarten. Deku was… he was an annoying kid, still kinda is sometimes. He mumbles a lot and he cries a lot too. He gets excited about heroes, especially All Might and he likes to tail anyone he finds interesting. We weren't really close until after I got my quirk."

"Really?" asked Hawks, intrigued.

The boy had a faraway look in his eyes, "Everyone was scared of me… except him."

Hawks blinked. He knew that his friend is a temperamental hothead but he's known him for a few months now. Beneath all that angry, scary persona, his friend was actually a caring and kind person. He just doesn't seem to know how to show affection. A tsundere as Kitamura had once mentioned.

Katsuki's next words were quieter and he would've missed it if he wasn't standing so close, "They think my quirk's dangerous and some losers started calling me a villain."

Ah, so that's where his insecurities came from. He was confused when Katsuki started laughing, "You know, he said my quirk reminds him of fireworks? What a weirdo."

Hawks smiled, "Well they do look like fireworks when you make small sparks on your palm."

Katsuki's cheeks reddened but he didn't say anything. Hawks turned his gaze to the children running around, "Is that why you wanna be a hero?"

The younger boy sighed, "Well, partially. Wouldn't it be nice to show those losers that I didn't end up being a villain but a top hero?"

Hawks chuckled, "I'll be there with ya, buddy."

They stood in companionable silence, watching the children playing without a care in the world. Their laughter rang in the air. They finished their drink and tossed the bottles in a bin. As Katsuki was getting ready to jog, Hawks stopped him, "Hey, Kats."

The younger boy paused and turned to him. Tilting his head slightly in question. Hawks grinned, "I've decided. I'm gonna be a hero who makes sure everyone gets to live a leisurely life with nothing to worry about!"

"Isn't that… why heroes exist?"

"No, you don't get it! I'm gonna get rid of all the bad guys and make sure everyone can have a peaceful life!"

"As I said, isn't that why heroes exist?"

"Aww, c'mon!"

Katsuki grinned, "Getting rid of all the bad guys isn't going easy, you know?"

"Well, just watch me! I'll break records and be the top hero who takes down bad guys with his speed!"

"Isn't that O'clock's thing, try and be original, featherhead."

Hawk pursed his lips, "Why can't you just support me as my friend?"

"Nah, I'd rather push you forward as a rival."

The teenager's mouth fell open in shock, "Are you saying I'm finally a worthy rival now?!"

"Hah? You misheard me. C'mon, we need to head back before the hag gets paranoid."

"I don't get your relationship with your mom."

That afternoon, Hawks was walking back to his apartment when he received a text from Ishikawa. He nearly dropped his phone when he read it. It was short and direct but it was a big shock to him.

Touya's dead.

He ended up walking aimlessly on the street for hours, ignoring texts and phone calls until his phone died in his pocket before he stumbled into his apartment at around six. Ishikawa was there waiting for him anxiously.

The man caught him as his knees buckled, "Hawks!"

"I-it's my fault! He's dead because of me!"

Ishikawa wrapped his arms around the teenager, "No! It's not! Don't blame yourself, Hawks!"

"B-but-"

His guardian cupped his cheeks, "Listen to me! What happened, it wasn't your fault. Touya's death was an accident. They assumed he lost control of his quirk when he had a panic attack in the ambulance. Please, don't blame yourself."

Guilt and shame washed over Hawks. He didn't dare tell Ishikawa how they could've escaped unscathed if he didn't argue with Touya and wasted precious time. All because he was jealous that Katsuki would favour the other teenager over him. He let the tears fall and sobs escaped his lips. He'll keep this to himself. He didn't want the man to be disappointed in him. He didn't want Ishikawa to abandon him.

Ishikawa wiped the tears with his thumbs, "It's alright Hawks. It wasn't your fault."

Yes, it is !

"I-I'll be better. I'll train harder and be b-better," he said between choked sobs, "I-I won't let anyone else die. I'll be useful."

Ishikawa frowned, tears pricked his eyes, "You can't save everyone! It's not possi- You shouldn't burden yourself with such a promise!"

"I-I can try!" said Hawks, wide-eyed.

The man pulled him flushed against his chest, holding him tight, "You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're just a human, Hawks. A human boy. It's okay to count on adults. You can count on me. I'm here for you."

Hawks pressed his face against the man's chest and let out a strangled cry. His fingers clawing at Ishikawa's back, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ishikawa shushed him and rubbed his back, "It's okay, Hawks. It's okay. Let it go."

That was the first time after many years that Hawks let himself cry his heart out. He held onto his guardian tightly, depending on him to keep him together as he felt himself breaking apart. He cried until his throat was sore and his eyes dry. He hadn't felt so human in so long. It was drilled into him that emotions shouldn't be real but faked. He's been dissociated with his feelings and thoughts for years but it was taking a heavy toll on him. He wasn't allowed to feel human for many years until tonight. He just wants to be human again and he's thankful to have Ishikawa there with him.

Take me high and I'll sing
You make everything okay
We are one and the same
You take all of the pain away

(Starset - My Demons)

A/N: I made quite a number of changes in this chapter because my ideas kept changing due to the songs I was listening to. I hope you guys enjoyed this feelsy chapter! Thank you for reading and your continuous support! Lova ya'll!

DELETED DRAFT

Hawks Jumped when his phone rang. He forgot that he had it with him. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered the call, "Ishikawa-san?"
Katsuki watched as the teenager's expression turned from confused to shocked, the colour draining from his face as he listened to Ishikawa, "W-what? N-no... he… what?"
"What is it, Hawks? What's wrong?" asked Katsuki anxiously.
Hawks tugged at his hair, trying to get his breathing under control. Katsuki grabbed his shoulder, "Hawks?"
The teenager glanced at him, his lips trembling, "I-it's… T-Touya's…"
Katsuki's eyes widened. He grabbed the phone from the teenager's shaky hand, "Ishikawa, what happened?!"
"Bakugou?"
"Tell me what happened?!" Katsuki shouted. The people nearby paused their activity and stared at him curiously. Katsuki ignored them and waited for Ishikawa's reply with bated breath.
"Touya's dead."

I deleted this part because after cross-checking with Chapter 4 of To Be a Hero, it didn't quite match up. I COULD rewrite the scene in that chapter but decided to just stick with what I've written months ago.