Chapter 20

Accolades, Awards, and Admiration

"Any achievement not awarded to me was obviously not worth winning in the first place."

~ Henry Thoreau, 1906

When an individual as talented and successful as myself has achieved the level of fame that I have, it's unavoidable to become the recipient of a shelf full of awards. To say that I've been recognized as a leader in my field would be an understatement worthy of an award in and of itself. I've had accolades showered upon me to such a point where it almost becomes embarrassing. I mean, I realize I am the most deserving, but even I start to feel bad for my fellow broadcasters after a while. One of these award organizations really ought to throw them a bone every now and then. I understand their plight. Once you've realized the greatness that emanates from Bill McNeal, everyone else sort of fades into the background.

I would hate to rub my success in the faces of those less fortunate than myself. After all, if these other broadcasters had lived in a different time and not had to compete with Bill McNeal, perhaps they would have received a trophy or two in their day. Unfortunately for them, I came along and raised the stakes. As much as I do not wish to gloat and make them even more envious, I would be doing a disservice to my adoring fans reading these memoirs if I did not enumerate my many prizes and recognitions. So if you are among my adversaries and you are reading this, try not to succumb to your jealousy. Instead, look at it as motivation to be better. If you apply yourself and try your best, maybe one day you can be half as great as me. Read this list of awards which I have won and try to think of it as something to aspire to.

In college I was elected Treasurer of my fraternity. That title came with heavy responsibilities. I was in charge of purchasing alcohol for our many social gatherings. I had to make sure the utilities were paid at the Sigma Nu house so that our power and water didn't get shut off. I was responsible for posting bail whenever any of our brothers were locked up for being drunk and disorderly. That was a responsibility I was proud to take on, but it did make things complicated when I was the one behind bars. We probably should have elected a secondary or something. Anyhow, another responsibility that came with my position was the duty to give a speech at the end-of-year rager similar to a State of the Union Address. Although, according to my fraternity brothers before me, I had to give the speech from the roof of the fraternity house wearing only a bowtie and a jock strap. It seemed unnecessary, but I am not one to shirk tradition. After giving what can only be described as the greatest speech in Sigma Nu history and taking a drunken tumble off the roof, my brothers were so in awe of my performance that they awarded me with the first ever Fraternity Treasurer of the Year award. The prize was a recycled bowling trophy, but they wrote my name on it with a permanent marker. My brothers even painted a little jockstrap on the golden bowler atop the prize. That statue, albeit my first award, still holds a special place on my trophy shelf.

Also, while I was in college, I won a National Student Production Award from the College Broadcasters Association. I won in the category of Best Late Night Programming. It was an honor that I did not take lightly. I put my heart and soul into that midnight to 6:00am time slot and it felt good to be recognized as the best in my field. I would have won the next year too, but I was disqualified on account of not being a student anymore. That was before my aunt so unceremoniously ripped me from my college radio home and thrust me into the corporate world. In my mind, though, I have won every college radio award since then.

I was the recipient of the NAB Macaroni Radio Awards in the early 1980s. Don't be fooled by its idiotic name. It's actually quite a prestigious award and has nothing to do with pasta whatsoever. It is awarded by the National Association of Broadcasters for the best on-air personalities. It was awarded to me during my time spent at Aunt Becca's radio station in Rochester. It's quite an honor to receive such an award, however, my legitimacy as the recipient has come into question time and time again. Partly, that's due to the fact that the station, WHAM 1180AM, was shut down in disgrace shortly after I left. The other problem is that I won the award for one of my personalities that I presented as my friend Eddie from Chicago. I was simply trying to display my range of vocal talents and impressions. Unfortunately, the people at NAB didn't quite get it and they printed Eddie Chicagoan on the award instead of Bill McNeal. Nonetheless, it has a place on my trophy shelf and anyone who questions it can go to hell.

I swept the 32nd annual American Broadcasters Society Awards—the ABSAs, if you're a dork. Well, technically WNYX swept the awards that year, but I believe we all know who to thank for that. Dave wanted to take some credit, so I let him believe it was his addition as our news director that made the difference. Why not let him have his moment? But I think it's obvious that without Bill McNeal, WNYX would still be ABSA-less.

You may be surprised to learn that I have been awarded the Herblock Prize for editorial cartooning. While I am best known for my million dollar voice and commitment to radio journalism excellence, I am also something of an artist as well. I had refined my drawing skills through years of practice sketching what my coworkers might look like naked. The natural next step was to try my hand at editorial cartoons for the New Yorker. While they rejected most of my renderings of what various politicians might look like naked, they did finally publish some of my cartoons of J. Edgar Hoover in a bikini. It was some of my finest work, if I do say so myself.

I also won an Aldo Beckman Memorial Award. I'm not sure who this Aldo Beckman fellow is, but if he recognizes my excellence, he must be a swell guy. I hope to meet him one day.[1] I won the award for my excellence in white house coverage. It's not surprising that I won because I am obviously the most skilled political broadcaster in my field. I do understand, though, that there is quite a bit of competition for this award. I believe it was my musical parodies of the Bill Clinton Whitewater scandal that pushed me over the top.

The Edward R. Murrow Award is presented to organizations, not individuals. So, while I can't say that I have received this honor personally, it is no doubt that I am the sole reason for WNYX having been the recipient of such an award. While it has come to my attention that the Radio Television Digital News Association, the organization that bequeaths this award, is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Jimmy James, Incorporated, I trust that the association reviewed all candidates fairly and honestly before bestowing the honor upon our fine station.

I'm sure it won't be long before I am inducted into the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame. That is an honor reserved for the elite in our field, a designation of which I am certainly deserving. Who could be more elitist than me? I came close once. I was nominated in 1985 for my morning zoo program in Indianapolis. I was just barely edged out by that thief, Casey Kasem. The man has never had an original idea in his life and yet he receives undeserved credit. His American Top 40 program was a complete rip off of my United States Top 39 show.[2] I've nominated myself every year since then, so I assume it's only a matter of time before I'm invited to my induction ceremony in which I will tell Kasem to go to hell.

While the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame covers broadcasters in all forms of media, the Radio Hall of Fame is reserved for those of us who have remained dedicated to the original form of broadcasting that has persisted into the digital age. There's something special about radio broadcasting. The listener hears that silky voice and can't help but picture a man alone in a booth with a microphone, a cigarette, and his thoughts. There's something very intimate about that image. Television broadcasting, by comparison, is just so unintimate. It has become so sensationalistic. It's more about bright lights and men wearing makeup than it is about bringing the truth to the people. There are more digital formats of broadcasting than anyone can keep up with. I say, keep it simple. I feel fortunate that, after all these years, I am still able to report the news the way nature intended: over the radio waves. I am sure that I will one day be inducted into that hall of fame as well. If Dick Clark and Rush Limbaugh can make it, why not Bill McNeal?

One of the greatest honors of my life was the day I won a Peabody award. The George Foster Peabody Award was given to me for a powerful and enlightening story I did in 1996 on O.J. Simpson's football career. Although I heard he was having some legal trouble at the time, I didn't feel that should overshadow the ups and downs of his work in the National Football League. When I was awarded the Peabody, my story was described as a brilliant metaphor that captured the gravity of the situation as well as the disruptiveness of media attention to the criminal justice system. Whatever that means. I knew this was a great honor because when I phoned my mother to tell her I had won the award, for once she didn't hang up on me. That's when I knew this molded chunk of brass really meant something. While the award still holds a prominent place on my trophy shelf at home, I must say the meaning of it was tainted for me a bit once I learned my former co-anchor from Indianapolis had also received the same honor. I do consider him a friend, but if he can earn a Peabody award, then I suppose anyone can. Nevertheless, I list this among my many achievements proudly.

It's far too early yet for my lifetime achievement award to be presented. While I am well on my way to that milestone, having led a career of perfection thus far, I still have much to give. It's true, I have dedicated many years of my life to the art of radio broadcasting. Many say I have reached the pinnacle of my career. While that may be true, I say reaching the pinnacle only gives me the motivation I need to build a new pinnacle. From that new, higher pinnacle I will be driven to create yet another pinnacle to achieve. Say, pinnacle is a fun word, isn't it? The point I'm trying to make is that, yes, I have achieved enough greatness thus far to have earned a lifetime achievement award. However, I feel that my unbridled talent is not just a gift. It is a responsibility. I owe it to the American people to continue to report the news. I will do my duty as a broadcaster and continue to put in another lifetime worth of achievements. I will do it because that is the price of greatness. I will do it because it's what my listeners deserve. I will do it for the pure joy of a job well done because that, my friends, is what makes Bill McNeal tick.

[1] Editor's note: Aldo Beckman was a journalist for The Chicago Tribune as well as the President of the Whitehouse Correspondents' Association. He died in 1980, hence why it is called the Aldo Beckman Memorial Award.

[2] Editor's note: Casey Kasem co-founded the American Top 40 program in 1970, a full 15 years before Bill McNeal debuted his short-lived United States Top 39 show in Indianapolis.