She decided to fly there as an owl, knowing she probably wouldn't make it until morning, just a little too late. At least as an owl she was able to watch below her better, though the fires were like a beacon on the horizon and she had no problem finding the keep. She circled overhead, wondering how early she was, then spotted the king marching away with his men, and Evan walking with Anders and the others back into the keep. She waited until they were inside before she landed and became human. She decided to try to heal as many people as she could instead of rushing in immediately, nervous about seeing Anders after something like that.
Dawn arrived and the people milling about wore dark expressions, just trying to get by. Too many had died, or were taken, and the keep was damaged. Claire searched for Anders all over before finding Evan.
"Evan, is Anders here?" She asked, trying to play dumb. "He said he was."
"Yes, about that..." He looked awkward. "I may have had to recruit him into the Wardens."
"Did he do the joining?"
"Yes, and he survived, so you don't have to worry." He smiled. "I know how you feel about him, and trust me, we'll take good care of him here."
"Oh sure, you're going to be fighting darkspawn again, that sounds so safe." She snorted.
He rolled his eyes at her. "Come on, I'll take you to him." Evan sighed. "It was either this or let the Templars have him, and I am not about to let that happen again." Again? She figured he was probably speaking of Jowan.
"Thank you for saving him." She said. "If you hadn't... I don't know what I would have done."
"Probably something very unpleasant..." They stopped at a closed door. "This is his room, he crashed pretty hard after the joining, just to warn you." Without another word, Evan turned to leave, but she touched his arm to stop him.
"Evan... I heard... I heard what happened here." She said. "Is it true? All the Wardens? It's just... it reminds me too much of Ostagar." He slowly nodded, looking down.
"Yes, though at least there are three Wardens now instead of only two, and we don't have to unite the land, just figure out what happened."
"I wish you all the luck in that." She said. She waited until she couldn't see him before she knocked on the door. A muffled voice replied and she opened the door. Anders was lying on the bed looking exhausted, but when he saw her, he got up. She rushed over to him and grasped him in a hug. "Anders! You had me so worried, and I couldn't find you, and I didn't know what had happened..." He gave her a squeeze and chuckled.
"Now you know what I had to go through this past year!" He said. Claire shook her head.
"Fine, yes, I suppose it's payback." She grinned. "But at least I avoided being made a Warden. Evan told me what happened, that it was the only way to save you from the Templars."
"Yes, but it's just another jail, isn't it?"
"Not really. It's nothing like the tower, if that's what you mean. Granted, once a Warden, always a Warden, with the taint, but I'm sure Evan would let you wander about now and then, and you won't have to worry about the Templars anymore!"
"You think they'd just leave me be because I'm a Warden?" He scoffed, getting up. "The Templars will never leave me be."
"What right have they to take a Grey Warden?" Claire snapped back. "The Wardens supersede everything, even the king if the need is great enough, and there is obviously a need, since the darkspawn rose up and took the Orlesian Wardens. Maker help any Templar foolish enough to cross the Wardens. Evan will not stand for it."
"At least I have a commander who knows the struggle." He said. "But enough of that, my stomach is rumbling."
"That won't do. Come on, I think I saw some food down below, though it's still a bit of a mess."
"Isn't that why it's called a mess hall?"
Anders was in a peculiar mood when he got back from Amaranthine the first time, and Claire figured it had to do with the Templars.
"Anders, do you want to talk about whatever happened?" She asked as he headed to his room.
He shook his head, but then paused. "You know, I suppose I should... I just, it doesn't make sense. The tip I'd gotten about the phylacteries ended up being a Templar trap, and I think Evan knew, but he let me go anyway after I begged him."
"But obviously the Templars had no power to take you..."
"We killed them." He said. "They were going to take me one way or another, they were that desperate." Claire was silent, trying to figure out what to say.
"This doesn't make sense." She said. "I'm... I'm going to start investigating the Templars. Something is going on, that they're getting this cocky..."
"Claire, you mustn't!" He stared into her eyes, pleading. "You're not invincible! Remember what happened to you at Fort Drakon."
"I can't easily forget that..." She sighed. "Fine, I'll just mention it to Evan then, see what he says, and let someone else risk their life. Maybe Leliana or Zevran can sneak in."
"I know it's selfish of me, but thank you." He leaned in close and she kissed him.
"We need to stop worrying so much about each other." She laughed. "The world needs saving, work is never done, and now you're a Warden and there's no end to the darkspawn. You're going to be constantly risking your life now."
"Not my choice." He grumbled. "But I suppose it does beat another year in solitary confinement."
"Or tranquility..." Claire shuddered.
"Don't even go there!" He moaned, putting a hand to his head.
"Trust me, I still haven't gotten over thinking you'd been made tranquil." She said. "Worst thing ever. I... I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
"Are you still thinking about the future?" He asked. "About what you saw?" He paused, then asked, "Did you know this would happen to me? That I would be made a Warden?" There was a growl to his voice Claire wasn't expecting and it took her off guard.
"What? Where did that come from?" She tried to avoid the question. "I already told you how it works, that I only see certain things..."
"Yes, but you also told me, when you showed me the battle at Ostagar, that you picked up many other things." Why did he have to think about such a thing? Why had she ever told him?
"Anders..." She frowned, uncertain on what she should tell him.
"You did know, didn't you." He seemed disappointed in her, and that hurt the most.
"I didn't know when, all right?" She snapped. "I don't know dates! I don't know everything and I've already proven I fail at even trying to fix things..." She started crying, and, embarrassed, she bolted out the door, teleporting the instant she could.
She stared down at the valley from her perch high on a mountain, wondering when she should go back to Anders. He was being emotional, and she knew he loved her, but doggone, she couldn't take that kind of guilt. She was tempted to erase his memory... to modify it so that he didn't know she knew the future. It was such a mistake she'd made... She was more pissed at herself than at Anders, really. What else could she expect from him? He needed something to blame, so why not blame the person who knew and did nothing?
Frustrated, she didn't even go into the Fade that night, but slept out under the stars at the top of the mountain, thinking that maybe she would go find his phylactery and investigate the Templars just for fun.
After spending the day wandering about and getting hungry, she decided to go back to the keep, lest they go on another mission without her getting to talk with Anders. She teleported just outside the gates and walked in, feeling less than enthusiastic. She found Anders in the main hall, and when he saw her, he grabbed her into a tight hug, causing her to start crying again. He quietly led her to a more private area where they could speak in peace.
"I'm sorry, Claire." He said. "I don't know why I did that. It just... came out, and I took my frustration out on you. It wasn't fair."
"It felt like you were disappointed in me for not telling you everything I see in your future." She sighed. "I don't even know everything that's going to happen, just possibilities, no dates..."
"It's just hard to see someone who has this ability doing nothing with it." He still sounded frustrated and she just felt depressed and empty.
"I'm doing everything I can." She choked back a sob. "I know you care about me, but I don't need this kind of pressure right now." She went for the door but he grabbed her arm.
"Please don't leave me again." He sounded so mournful, but how could she stay with a man who was looking at her as if she was hiding things from him just to make him suffer?
"I just need a little time... you'll probably be going on another mission soon anyway, you'll hardly know I'm gone."
"Please, Claire. I don't want you to leave like this." He said. "I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone, more than I knew was possible, and I honestly don't know how to react. My life is crazy, it's been turned upside down, and I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I'm sorry."
"Anders..." She said. I really get the feeling like this is going to happen again. She thought. Things I don't even know about are going to happen and you're going to blame me. Maybe not out loud, but it'll be in your mind, I just know it.
Out loud, she said, "We'll work through it. I can't just leave you, I love you too much as well. We're just too emotional, I think. Everything is on edge, especially with you riding out into danger, risking your life. Let's just get something to eat and relax in the room until you have to attend to your duties." He kissed her, pressing her to him tightly, and she melted into his arms, knowing that even if he was continued to blame her for things outside of her control, she still loved him and would put up with anything for him. She'd just need to take breaks now and then...
Evan ended up giving Anders Ser Pounce-a-lot the following day, and even though Claire said she'd watch the kitty, Anders insisted on keeping him in his pouch. Claire was just glad he had his cat, even if he was taking the kitty on dangerous missions. The first big mission Anders went on ended up being the Blackmarsh, and Claire found she was anxious over Justice coming back to the keep. She knew what he meant, and while she tried to hide it, Anders could tell something was up.
"Is it something about the future?" He asked one night. "The way you look at Justice, there's something wrong, isn't there?"
She shrugged. "It's just... spirits aren't supposed to inhabit mortal bodies like that. It's weird and I don't know how to feel about it. Part of me is wondering if I should try taking him into the Fade, physically, but..."
"No, you might not make it back out." Anders said.
"He doesn't belong here." She said.
"He wants to help us fight, and... we talked, in the Blackmarsh, and he's got me thinking, that maybe I should do something. I'm essentially free now, and I should be doing more for the other mages. I've been selfish my whole life, thinking only of myself..." What could she say in response? She didn't realize she would feel so upset at the transitioning. "Claire? What's wrong?" Damn her emotions! It was the wrong time to start crying.
"All while I was helping Evan out..." It was as good an excuse as any, and it was true. "You didn't understand why I did it, why I kept putting myself in danger like that... now maybe you can finally understand."
He looked at her with eyes wide. "I... never thought about it like that."
"It's something that takes hold, and you can't let go, you can't stop. We have this power... we need to do good with it, show the world we can be trusted." She was just going to help him along, wasn't she. She sighed.
"We can be fools saving the world together then." He reached over and squeezed her hand. She smiled at him and wiped her tears away, but they kept coming. She couldn't get the thought of losing him out of her head.
While the Wardens went to Kal'Hirol, Claire decided to search for the phylacteries, wandering around the Fade, seeking out Templar dreamers to delve into the minds of. She felt dirty doing it, but she insisted it was for a good cause. Eventually she discovered where they were keeping the vials of blood and snuck in. So many vials! The phylacteries were on tall shelves, hundreds of them, and she wondered what would happen if there was an earthquake. Surely they had protections... The hard part for her was to find Anders' phylactery. It wasn't exactly clearly labeled, but she did eventually find it.
She examined the bottle without touching it, then had a wild thought. If she stole it or broke it, they would know something was amiss. She couldn't risk them being led back to Anders... but what if she replaced it with pig's blood? She teleported out and went into the Circle tower to find an unused phylactery, then hunted a wild boar, paralyzing it so that she could just take a little blood, making sure she did the right spells. Soon the phylactery was glowing brightly in the presence of the boar. Praying her crazy plan would work, she teleported back to the phylactery chamber. She carefully removed the label from Anders' and put it on the boar's blood, switching them out.
Still afraid the Templars would figure something out, she was tempted to bring in some giant rats to run rampant in the place. Shaking her head, she teleported out, keeping a tight hold on the phylactery, noting how it glowed brighter near the keep. Were they back? She had spent quite a bit of time on the phylactery mission. Not wanting Anders to know what she'd done just then, she teleported to a ruin she'd explored in the Korcari Wilds and hid it behind a stone, securing it with wards and protections. She then went back to the keep and found a new dwarven Grey Warden being inducted into the order.
Claire was certain Anders knew she was hiding something, but he didn't bother her about it and she didn't say. As the time came closer to the final attack, Claire decided she would at least tell him about it.
"Anders, you know I can't change the future, not really..." She said, making him glance at her, worriedly.
"What's going to happen?" He asked.
"The darkspawn are going to stage two attacks. One on Amaranthine, and one here at the keep. They want to divide our attentions, and there are multiple ways for it to go, it depends on Evan, really... but there will be people still alive in Amaranthine when Evan gets there. I'm going to try to get them out beforehand. He's done good building this keep up, it should be fine."
"Why are you telling me this?" He asked, confused.
"I don't know... I guess I wanted to give you some sort of warning, let you know what I was doing." She shrugged. "Nothing happens to you either way, as far as I can see."
"What's really wrong?" He asked, his voice soft and concerned.
She looked at him, surprised. "Nothing, really. I mean, this is just... it's huge. It's another huge battle... so many people are going to die, Anders, and I can't protect them all. I can only do so much..." He put his arm around her and kissed her head.
"We'll do what we can." He said.
Anders ended up going with Evan to Amaranthine, and insisted they rescue people from the city despite Nathaniel claiming the city was already dead. Claire did her part to kill darkspawn there, to save as many people as she could, then teleported back to the keep. Evan would go on to strike at the Mother, and she would do what she could to protect the people of Vigil's Keep. It was a long battle, but she fought as hard as she could, teleporting around the battlefield, not caring if someone saw her. Most people were too focused on not dying to care.
Looking over the smoldering ruins, Claire felt more exhausted than ever. She waited for Anders to come back, falling asleep on a mound of rubble.
"Claire!" She was rudely shaken awake and blinked as she stared at the worried face of Anders. "Oh you're all right, you had me worried!" He hugged her.
"Just... just tired, is all." She laughed, hugging him back. "I'm glad to see you back. Now maybe things can relax."
The following day, Claire slipped out and teleported to the phylactery she'd stowed away, wondering what Anders would think about it. She had her guesses. It glowed brightly when she got back to the room and it felt almost warm in her hands. She stowed it in a pocket quickly before getting Anders' attention.
"Hey love..." She murmured as she walked into the room. He turned and looked at her, smiling softly.
"I was wondering where you'd gone." He walked over to her and gave her a hug. "Is something wrong?" She knew she was being too tense and shrugged.
"That depends on whose side you're on." She laughed. "I did something for you, but I'm not sure how you're going to react."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sure part of you is going to be angry, but it's done, and no one knew."
"You're starting to worry me." She pulled out the phylactery, with Anders' eyes growing wide at the sight. "Maker's breath, Claire, what... this is... are you serious?" His face changed expression many times.
"I thought you should have the honor of destroying it." She said. "I left a vial of pig's blood in its place, so no one will know."
"How? How was this done?" Anders asked, still in shock.
"That... is something I don't think I should tell you." She said. "The less you know, the better, that way if anyone asks you, you can honestly tell them you don't know. I almost didn't tell you I got it in the first place, but how could I keep it a secret from you? You've wanted it for so long." He suddenly threw it against the wall and began kissing her hard.
"I won't ask, just as long as you're safe, and it's gone." He was breathing hard, and she felt the love from him so strongly in his words. "What would I do without you?"