Conversations

Carlisle

Jake POV

The sound of Carlisle's Mercedes pulling into the drive woke me from my fitful slumber. Have you ever tried to sleep before an early morning flight, but you couldn't because of the anticipation for your trip and the paranoia of possibly sleeping through your alarm? That's how my sleep was, anticipating the Doc's return. I don't know what made me so nervous. Maybe it was the idea that Edward would ultimately find out that I was asking around about him. But I had to shove those feelings aside. I needed to know about him and the rest of them, if I was going to spend my life in Nessie's company. Surely, he could understand that.

I sat up on the couch as Carlisle pulled into the garage and shut off the engine. When the front door opened, I stood to face him. Placing his keys in the bowl by the door, he gave me a warm smile. "Good morning, Jacob. Did I wake you?"

"Eh, not really. I was kind of waiting for you."

Carlisle cocked his head to the side, his blond hair falling into his eyes. He swept it back, and replied, "Oh? What for?"

"Just wanted to talk."

"Mmm, ok. And we are alone?"

"Yup. Edward and Bella took Nessie home to the cottage and the rest are out hunting. Esme made me an awesome steak dinner before she left though," I added for good measure. Couldn't hurt to butter him up a little.

He smiled at that, happy with my appreciation for his kind-hearted wife. " Well, let's go into my study and we'll talk."

I followed him up the stairs to his study and watched as he situated himself behind his large, ornate desk, which was piled with books and stationary. He looked the picture of ease even though he had no idea what I wanted to discuss with him.

"So, what can I do for you, Jacob?" He asked serenely.

I took the chair he indicated, nerves fluttering in my belly. "Er, well, this might sound kind of weird, but I had a few questions."

"About?" He prompted patiently.

I chewed my lip for a moment. This was strange. Why was I sitting here in Carlisle's study, about to ask him about his vampire son? I didn't really plan out what to say beforehand, like a short sighted idiot. Now here I was, the benevolent head vamp watching me with the patience of a saint. Guess there was no way to make it not sound weird, so might as well be out with it.

"Uh, I know this is kinda out of left field, but I wanted to know a little bit about Edward. I don't really know anything about him, and now that I imprinted on his daughter, I thought maybe I should."

Carlisle smiled a little and steepled his fingers. "Sounds reasonable. Why have you not asked him whatever questions you have?"

I snorted. "Like he'd tell me anything. He hates me."

Carlisle tutted. "Oh, Jacob, that isn't true. I don't think he ever hated you. I just think he was jealous that you were in love with Bella."

"Or so we all thought."

"Right. Well, what about Bella? You two are close. Why not ask her?"

I huffed. "Bella looks at Edward with rose-colored glasses. I'm not interested in hearing her gush about him being a loving husband. I want to know what he's really like, the Edward you and the others know."

Carlisle thought about what I said, and in the ensuing silence, I thought he might not feel comfortable telling me anything about Edward. Sighing, he finally spoke after what felt like an eternity. "Jacob, in good conscience, I can't reveal Edward's life to you without his permission."

My shoulders sagged a bit at the realization I'd pegged Carlisle's silence correctly.

"However, I have no such reservations about telling you a story about my own past, which he played a big part in. Are you comfortable? It's a bit of a long story."

I chuckled, but sat back in the chair, making sure I was in fact comfortable if Carlisle was warning me this would take a while. He mimicked my posture and began his tale.

"By the turn of the century, I'd been a solitary vampire for over two hundred years. Not uncommon for our kind to be nomadic, but the reason I was alone was not because I didn't want company. It was because I valued human life, and no one else of my kind did. I tried to make friends, and I made some very dear ones, but none who could share in my fundamental ideals."

"Other vampires didn't understand you."

"Precisely. Even when I was surrounded by vampires, like when I stayed with the Volturi for a time, I still felt alone. Like nobody really saw me."

Carlisle looked away and sighed, then looked back at me, as though he was unsure of what he wanted to say next. I gave him an encouraging nod and he went on.

"I longed for a companion to share my life with. Who saw me for who I was, accepted and agreed with me, choosing to respect human life, the very species from which we are derived!" His voice was emphatic, and his eyes were unfocused, like he was reliving the past as he spoke of it. "I have met many vampires in my time. I appeared to be the only so-called vegetarian," he said with a roll of his eyes. "The only way to get a companion was to make one and hope they would agree to my way of life. If not, I'd let them go on their way, after teaching them how to be a discreet vampire, of course. But I couldn't do that. It was immoral to turn another person and condemn them to eternal life as a vampire. I was resigned to being alone."

Carlisle sighed and leaned back in his chair, in full memory mode now, and I knew he was ready to talk about Edward. I leaned back in my chair as well, hoping it would make him feel more comfortable. It seemed to.

"In the year 1918, I was working as a doctor in Chicago, Illinois. A pandemic descended on the world, and it didn't just prey on the weak, no, it went for the strong and able-bodied too. It was the Spanish flu, brought home from the war. A lot of bright futures were snuffed out. It was a very trying time to be a doctor. A lot of death that couldn't be prevented." He paused again, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. I wondered at the action, knowing it didn't actually do anything for him, but he was so acclimated to humans that he did it automatically. It was fascinating.

"That was when I met Edward, dying on a hospital bed, his mother in the bed beside him and his father already passed. The two of them were in terrible shape. They weren't going to make it." Carlisle shuddered as he remembered, and I felt kinda guilty for making him remember something that was obviously painful for him. I was about to apologize, tell him he didn't have to go on, but he spoke again before I could say anything.

"I was inexplicably drawn to the two of them. Even though I had many patients to attend to, I found myself circling back to them often. On the last night of her life, Elizabeth grasped my wrist and her eyes were lucid, which they hadn't been for the past 24 hours. She beseeched me to save her son. 'To do everything in your power,' she said. Then, the light went out from her eyes and she was gone. Had she seen through the facade and known I was something other than human? I'll never know. She had known I had a way I could save him, though not likely a way she could have ever dreamt of. I remember looking at Edward and thinking what a terrible waste, this boy on the brink of branching out and starting a life of his own. How sad for it to be cut short. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think he was my Singer, like Bella was Edward's Singer, which made him all the more compelling to me."

"Singer?"

"A human whose blood calls to you more than most."

"Ah." Singer, huh. There was a word for it. It seemed crazy to me that Edward would be able to be so close to Bella and not drink her if her blood was that potent. Apparently even Carlisle couldn't resist his Singer. I had to hand it to Edward, the guy had a strong will.

"Anyway, I was lonely, and Edward was as good as dead. If I left him there, or tried to afford myself time to think it over, he would die. If I failed to change him, it wouldn't matter. There was no saving him from death. I couldn't ask him if he wanted this, he was too far gone. I didn't have time to think about any ramifications. For Edward, it was vampirism or death. So I took him and his mother to the morgue, and stole him out the back door."

He chuckled suddenly, which confused me until I realized my mouth was hanging open. I smiled sheepishly; the image of Carlisle running through the night with a practically dead Edward in his arms was surprising and a little unnerving. It must have shown on my face, because he gave an embarrassed smile. "Like I said," he shrugged, "there was no time to think. The run home was frightening, afraid I might be seen. But it was the middle of the night and Chicago was practically a ghost town amid the pandemic, so I made it home without being noticed. Once I had him inside, I bit him before his heart could stop. Somehow I was able to stop drinking his blood and let the venom spread." He smiled widely then, and moved to lean his forearms on the desk, steepling his fingers. "Obviously, I succeeded."

I smiled with him. "Wow, that's wild. So, what happened when he woke up?"

Carlisle's smile evaporated and his arms relaxed back on the desk. He sat still as a statue for a moment. It was rare to see Carlisle acting like a vampire, and it was really weird. But I also felt kinda...I don't know...grateful? Like he was comfortable enough with me to let the human charade drop sometimes.

"I don't know how much he would appreciate me telling you," he said finally. "Suffice it to say, were it not for his telepathy, I might not be here today."

"Like, he tried to kill you?!" I blurted out, shocked.

Doc shook his head. "No, but I think he would have tried to kill me had he not been able to read my mind, to see what happened with his mother and know I wasn't a traditional vampire. He could see my intentions were good. But he did not want to be a soulless monster, as he refers to us. There was a lot of anger and resentment in the beginning. I was lucky he could read my thoughts, and it wasn't too long before he was able to find some things he liked about this life. It was easy for him to remember that humans are people with lives and families because he could read their thoughts. So it wasn't hard to teach Edward my diet, because he already didn't want to feed from humans."

I was having an epiphany here. It never occurred to me that Edward, the filthy bloodsucker who stole my girl, never actually killed any humans. I figured that all newborns slipped and ate a few humans along the way. I guess it was a testament to his level of control, made obvious by his relationship with Bella, which had required a ridiculous amount of control - and he'd been able to manage it. I was actually kinda awed.

Carlisle seemed to realize my mind had wandered and waited until I looked at him again. He smiled before continuing his story. "Edward and I shared a philosophy and some similar interests, and we became fast friends. It was easy, living with Edward. I never had to utter a word!" We both laughed. "But Edward still suffered. He struggled with what he had become, what I'd turned him into. He also struggled with wanting the independence to be his own man, as he was on the cusp of doing in his human life. He was seventeen, and the world was within his grasp." He shook his head sadly. "I never stopped to consider the ramifications of turning a person at that age. There were some contentious, emotionally volatile times."

Raking a hand through his blond hair, Carlisle leaned back in his chair again. "As the family grew, the more distant Edward became. He did seek his independence for a time after Esme and I married, not wanting to be the third wheel, but he returned eventually. Then Rosalie joined us, then Emmett. When those two paired off, he became the fifth wheel. When Alice and Jasper joined us decades later, he became the seventh wheel. Always alone, and yet never alone. Not even alone in his own mind. Privy to everyone else's happy and contented thoughts, perfectly matched couples. It must have been tantamount to torture to be surrounded by those kinds of thoughts constantly. Most of us try not to think of it around him, though there are slip-ups. Some of us tend to enjoy making Edward uncomfortable, though. I won't name names, ahem."

We both smiled and said, "Emmett," simultaneously before Carlisle went on.

"Esme thought maybe he was turned too young and that's why he had trouble finding a mate. But I knew better than that. He's seventeen! He's in his sexual prime for eternity!"

We both laughed heartily, appreciating the moment of humor. Things were getting a little dark. I felt bad that Edward had to go through all that for ninety years or however long.

"Kinda makes sense why he's always so angsty and serious."

"Yeah. I never thought it was lack of desire, per se. It was the mind-reading. Romance needs mystery. You don't want to know your lover's every thought. We all think bad things about each other sometimes. I was running out of hope that Edward would ever find someone whose mind he could tolerate. And then, Bella came along. Yes, Bella is a perfect partner for Edward. An old soul with a closed mind."

We sat in silent reflection for a few moments. Now that Renesmee was apart from Bella, I could see more clearly that she and Edward were well-matched. And Bella had taken to vampirism so naturally, it was as though it was written in the stars, and somehow, my map of stars got entwined with theirs. It was a strange and twisted journey, but all that pain had brought me right where I needed to be to fulfill my own destiny.

Carlisle broke the silence. "Edward was always meant for something more, even though he was forced to wait so long to attain it. May his new life be all the more richer for it."

I nodded and stood, understanding that there wasn't more to say, and ready to work all this over in my head. "Thanks for talking with me. It was cool to hear the whole backstory, ya know?"

Carlisle smiled. "Of course! It was my pleasure." I turned to leave, but he stopped me when he spoke again. "Jacob, I'm happy Renesmee has you. I've always felt you were a loyal and trustworthy person, and you wanting to learn more about your former enemy is indicative of that. Besides, it makes sense to find out about your future father-in-law-for-eternity!" He barely contained his amusement.

"Er, thanks, Carlisle."

Closing the door behind me, I decided to leave before the others returned to the house. I needed to turn over this new information in my mind, and plan how to approach the other vampires for their own points of view on Edward.

Xxxxxx

A/N:

Well, that's Carlisle done! This fic, as my faithful readers know, is not the norm for me. I'm usually not one to stick to canon, and everybody knows I just want Ed and Jake to be together! LOL. But I haven't written anything in ages, and I've been very depressed this year. Twilight fanfiction has boosted my spirits, and this little fic exercise is my attempt at getting back in the swing of things. I warn you, this probably isn't my best work. I hope it will encourage me to write more in the Consequence of Heat series, with Seth discovering they are non-binary, and also to complete Cast Aside. Your words of encouragement would do wonders for my motivation and hopefully for my mental health too! Thank you for reading!

Now, whose conversation do you want to see next? I have a premise for everyone except Esme at the moment, but Rosalie's can't come next. At least one other chapter has to come before hers does. Who do you want to see? Let me know!