"There's little we can do for him, love." Anders said, wrapping his arms around Claire from behind. "He has to make his own decisions."
"I wish Justice had never told him." Claire said, bitterness in her tone. "It's never good when someone finds out..."
"Never?"
"When you first found out... I could feel the anger from you." She turned around to face him. "Blaming me for things that happened to you. Now, of course it's different now. We've both grown a lot in the past four years."
"Yes... it was harder then, to see you with all your powers, doing nothing." He hugged her tightly. "But you weren't doing nothing... you were just hiding in the shadows, trying to change the course of history without anyone noticing, just as you are now."
"Shall we go back then? I'm sure there are patients waiting for us."
"There's always work to be done, isn't there?"
"There is..."
Hawke didn't come by the following day, or the day after, and Claire wasn't sure he was going to come. They'd heard that Seamus had been found murdered in the Chantry, and the Qunari had killed Petrice, though Claire felt no real loss over losing the Sister. She had been causing strife, and murdered an innocent young man in the hopes to start a war, a war she wouldn't even get to see. They just needed to wait for Hawke to let them know when that battle would start.
Another week went by, with Claire focusing more on training Feynriel, who was a quick study, and Anders working more in the Gallows to free other mages.
"Claire! Wake up!" Claire opened her eyes to see Anders staring at her, meaning she had to have woken him with her vision. Ella had been in her dream, only the girl had become an abomination and Justice had killed her.
"I'm sorry, I must have woken you..."
"Was it another vision?" He asked. What could she tell him?
"No... no, I don't think so. The dream just startled me." Which was an understatement, since she saw something that she couldn't tell was a vision or a dream, but if it was real, she needed to be there to stop it.
Later that day, Hawke came by, and Anders started talking about the tranquil, and Claire knew she needed to be on her guard.
"Have you noticed how many tranquil are in the Gallows courtyard lately?" Anders asked. "And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching and every day there are new tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages, too. People I know, past their harrowing."
"What's it to you how many tranquil there are?" Hawke asked dismissively, surprising Claire. She'd thought he'd gotten a little more understanding of the plight of mages, not hardened to it.
"The Templars are using the Rite of Tranquility to silence those who speak against them." Anders sounded desperate. "They're working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall within the next three years."
"Do you know who's behind it?" Hawke asked, his tone softening a little, though he didn't quite look like he believed Anders.
"There are groups in Kirkwall who help those fleeing the Circle. I've talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a Templar named Ser Alrik. I've had a run-in with him myself. He's the one who did the ritual on Karl. Nasty piece of work, likes to make mages beg."
"Then perhaps the blame can be laid on him, and not every Templar?" At least that was something she could agree with Hawke on.
"That's what I hope. If we bring the evidence of this plan to light, there must be men who'll stand against it. Perhaps even the grand cleric will finally be forced to act." Anders looked around, then stepped closer to Hawke, lowering his voice. "I've been working with a group, a secret mage underground that helps others escape the Gallows. They have a way in. A secret entrance under the walls of the Gallows. Come with me, tonight, please. Help me find the evidence of Ser Alrik's "Tranquil Solution.""
"I don't know if it's a good idea to take on the Templars on their own ground." Hawke seemed nervous.
"It's a risk I have taken frequently, to save the life of a single mage." Anders spoke angrily and Claire could see the fire in his eyes from where she was. "Would you do less to stop a plot that would destroy all of them?"
"Very well, then, let us go before they can act." Hawke sighed, and Claire prayed Hawke wouldn't regret it. If he was having issues with his position on mages vs Templars, the Gallows incident would not help at all.
"Thank you." Anders said, surprised. "I confess, I wasn't sure you'd share my outrage. I'm glad I can count on this much. I'm ready to go when you are. Our entrance is concealed not far from here." Hawke shrugged and motioned for Anders to lead the way. Claire quickly stepped forward to follow.
"Hello, Claire." Hawke said. "Don't tell me, this is going to end badly?"
"I don't know." She said, shrugging. It won't end badly if I'm there. Or so she hoped. "We'll do what we can to ensure it ends the best it could."
"As we always do." Anders said. "Look, there's the entrance. Let's just get this done." They climbed down the ladder and into the tunnels, where they soon encountered lyrium smugglers. Claire didn't bother holding back and swatted them away like they were flies, her eyes glowing.
"Your wife seems really angry today." She heard Hawke whisper to Anders. "She must have seen something she's not telling us about."
"That's what I'm afraid of." Anders replied. "She woke me up this morning with a nightmare, but she insisted it was just a dream." Was she going to be the one to mess it up? It made her think of all the people she'd read about, who tried to stop a prophecy from happening, only to be the catalyst to cause it to happen. She would hang back once they got to the Templars. It had to just be a nightmare, not a vision. The men shooting her worried glances wasn't helping her any, but she wasn't sure she could tell them anything comforting.
Finally, she turned around and said, "It might have just been a dream. I don't know, that's why I don't want to tell you. I don't need to tell you something that might not even matter."
"But it has to do with the mission today." Anders said.
"Maybe?" Claire sighed. "Yes, it has to do with Ser Alrik. But... if I tell you, when I can stop it from happening... it might be more damaging that way."
"Just please don't do anything dangerous?" Hawke asked.
"I'm trying my best." Claire replied.
Hawke was following a madwoman and her insane husband into the Templars' own domain, to take down a Templar, and he was already having enough issue trying to come to terms with being more supportive of mages. In the three weeks since Seamus had been killed, Hawke had been spending more time with Fenris, and they'd gotten ambushed by slavers trying to get Fenris back, which led them to Hadriana, a blood thirsty power hungry mage from Tevinter working for Danerius. Fenris killed her without mercy, and Hawke was glad for it. People like that shouldn't be allowed to live.
But there he was, with two mages who, while not power hungry, weren't the safest to be around either. If there was truth to what Anders was saying, though, he needed to find out. Investigating the Templars had led to some disturbing truths, so that while yes, there were corrupted mages all around, the Templars were guilty as well, and they were actively oppressing the mages, and gladly too. Knight-captain Cullen didn't even think they could be treated like humans at all, and he seemed to be one of the more rational Templars!
They could hear the Templars before they'd even gotten close, and they had a young woman with them, cowering in fear.
"No... please! I haven't done anything wrong!" The girl cried.
"That's a lie." A Templar, most likely Alrik, said, cornering her. "What do we do to mages who lie?"
"I just wanted to see my mum." The mage said. "No one ever told her where they were taking me."
Hawke saw Anders flash blue, his eyes glowing for a second. "No... no, this is their place, we cannot..." He said, looking away. Hawke knew Anders wouldn't be able to hold the spirit back.
"So, you admit your attempted escape?" Alrik asked. "You know what happens to mage girls who don't toe the line around here, don't you?"
"Please, no!" She cried, falling to her knees. "Don't make me tranquil! I'll do anything!"
"That's right, when you're tranquil, you'll do anything I ask." Alrik said, and Hawke found he wanted to kill the man with no mercy.
"Get your hands off her!" Hawke said, as Anders pulled out his staff.
"You fiends will never touch a mage again!" Justice came out, his voice changing with his anger, and Hawke gave the Templars everything he had, though with Claire there, it wasn't much of a fight.
"They will die!" Anders yelled, even though all the Templars had been killed, making Hawke wonder what was wrong with him. Perhaps that was what Claire had seen, and hadn't wanted to tell them about. "I will have every last Templar for these abuses."
"We'll kill them all." Hawke said, trying to calm down. "I promise."
"Every one of them will feel Justice's burn." Anders said, looking at Hawke.
"Get away from me... demon!" The mage girl they'd just saved was cowering as she held her hands up to ward off Anders.
"I am no demon." Anders said, walking up to her. "Are you one of them, that you would call me such?" Hawke quickly looked at Claire, who looked concerned, but not overly so just then.
"Anders, that girl is a mage." Hawke said. "We rescued her from being made tranquil."
"She is theirs." Anders growled. "I can feel their hold on her."
"She's the reason you're fighting, Anders!" Hawke said. "Don't turn on her now! Claire, do something!" She nodded and stepped between Anders and the girl.
"This is not justice!" She snapped. "This is nothing more than petty vengeance! You're better than this! You're a healer, act like it!"
"Do you think to stop me?" He growled, raising his staff as if to hit her, and she prepared herself. His face twisted in fury, Anders struck at Claire, and she struck back, pushing him to the wall. Hawke stood back, staring in shock, as she struck Anders again.
"Snap out of it!" She yelled, then smacked him across the brow. Anders suddenly stopped glowing and staggered back, holding his head in his hands, as the mage girl got up and bolted.
"Maker, no..." Anders said. "I almost... If you weren't here... I... I need to get out of here." He ran and Hawke tried to follow, but Claire stopped him.
"I'm sorry, Hawke." She said. "This was the best outcome we could have hoped for, but still. There was no way I could have warned him. There was nothing he could do about it..." She looked so depressed, and Hawke couldn't figure out how to feel.
"He's become more of a demon..." Hawke said. "Anders is being lost, isn't he? He's losing himself to Vengeance?"
"Yes." She replied. "Kirkwall should never have had a Circle to begin with. Many years ago, the Tevinters conducted experiments here, experiments that weakened the Veil considerably. Have you never wondered why there are so many abominations, blood mages, failed Harrowings, Templar abuses? Even non-mages have been getting possessed, and it's... there's more, but I don't know how to tell you, only that it's corrupting not only Justice, but others as well, and it will... it cannot continue."
"You've seen the end?"
"There is no stopping it." She said, her voice flat and cold. "We have time yet, but please, be easy on Anders. He needs you, especially now, even if you still don't want to support the mages."
"About that..." Hawke sighed. "What you said, I have noticed it. I've been looking into the Templars, and... I think I'm beginning to see what Anders has been talking about. I'm still not sure I can fully agree with everything, but... the Templars need to be kept in check and no one is doing anything about it."
"Take your time, think about it. I'm here to talk if you need it."
"That's another thing I don't understand." Hawke said, staring at her. "You're a mage, you fight for the mages, you ferret them off to your secret location, yet for all that, you're so understanding! You know something, don't you? About me? What lies in my future, that makes you act like this around me?"
She grew upset and shook her head. "Please, you can't ask me that."
"It's that bad?" He asked.
"There are different paths..." She said. "I don't know exactly which ones will be taken, and I'm sorry, Hawke. I'm so sorry I can't make your life easier. All of Thedas will be plunged into chaos, and there's nothing I can do. All we can do is save as many people as we can." She was serious, and all he could do was stare at her as she wiped the tears away.
"I'm sorry as well." Hawke said. "Let's search the bodies, and go find Anders, then..." The world would be plunged into chaos? What could happen to cause that? And how long did he have left? He began to wonder if perhaps avoiding the strange mages might make his life a little easier. Then at least he wouldn't be wondering if they knew anything.
When they got out of the sewers with the evidence of the Tranquil solution, the girl was there and she slowly approached Hawke.
"Y-You saved my life, messere." She said. "What was that thing?"
"He's no demon, just a deeply troubled man." Hawke said, even if he didn't really believe it himself.
"Can I... go home now?" She asked.
"Find your parents, but don't stay there." Hawke said. "You must leave Kirkwall."
"I know. There's nowhere in the city where Ser Alrik's men won't find me. Thank you, messere. Andraste herself must have put you in that room." He watched her leave, then looked at Claire.
"Will she be all right?"
Claire shrugged. "I think so. She's a strong girl."
"You don't really know, do you?" Hawke asked. "That whole situation, it was just about Anders, wasn't it? That was your only focus?"
"Not entirely." She said. "Take the papers you found to Elthina, and Knight-Captain Cullen. They may provide more insight into it."
"So, it's me as well then?" He asked. "You're still trying to get me to see your side of things."
"I want you to talk to the grand cleric and knight-captain. I will not sway your opinion either way, I want you to decide for yourself."
"You are a very confusing woman." Hawke said before continuing his walk to the clinic. What was he supposed to say to Anders? He was an abomination, the spirit a demon, corrupted as Claire herself had said. He proved himself to be a danger... or did he? He didn't strike at the girl, would he have killed her had they not interfered, like Anders had said?
He could see Anders in the back, sorting through a box, muttering to himself, then noticed that Claire was gone. Why would she leave her husband at such a sensitive time for him? Was this another test?
"... Trash. Trash. Keep. Trash. Trash... Won't be needing that anymore..."
"You're upset." Hawke said. "We need to talk about it."
"Upset doesn't begin to cover it." Anders said, getting up to face Hawke. "You and Claire were the only things that kept me from murdering an innocent girl! It's all gone wrong, Justice and I. We're just a monster, same as any abomination." Could Hawke even agree with that anymore? Could an abomination really feel that level of regret?
"You were out of control." Hawke said. "But even then, you heard what we were saying. You knew, in your heart, that you had to stop."
"You have too much faith in me." Anders said, his shoulders slumped. "Without you, I'd never have known who was there until it was too late. How can I fight for the freedom of mages, when I am the example of the worst that freedom brings?"
"Mages are dangerous, that's why this has been so hard." Hawke said. "And why I've had such a hard time understanding your side of things... but you can make yourself the proof that they can control their powers."
"I don't know how." Anders said. "How can I even trust myself to heal anymore? What if that... creature of Vengeance turns on a patient? Will he... will I... resist? Or will I loose his fury?"
"Claire and I will stay by your side and help you through this."
"Where is she?" Anders suddenly looked around. "I thought she'd be with you. I... I attacked her. Maker, I attacked her..."
"I think she knew what was going to happen." Hawke said. "And I think she knew that I needed to talk to you, alone. She won't leave you, Anders."
"Did you... find anything on Ser Alrik?" The mage asked. "Or was the 'Tranquil Solution' another of my delusions?"
"It exists, but it was Ser Alrik's plan, no one else's." Hawke pulled out the papers.
"Let me see that!" Anders said, reaching for the letters. "The Divine... rejected the idea. Meredith rejected the idea! This was... not what I expected. Perhaps I should try talking to the grand cleric. Perhaps she's more reasonable than I thought. Thank you, I will think on what you said." Just then, Hawke noticed Claire leaning against a pillar, looking exhausted. He didn't envy her at all.
She looked over at him, making eye contact, and he felt a shiver go down his spine. Her white eye still bothered him, even after all those years of knowing her. That whiteness, surrounded by the horrible scars. He hoped she never realized how much her face bothered him. He hurried out of the clinic, not wanting to think about it.
"I'm here, Anders." Claire said, coming up to the healer, and he felt afraid and confused.
"I tried to attack you..." He said, trying to hold himself together. He wanted to hug her, to feel her embrace him, to let him know it was all right, but he was afraid.
"It's all right, you didn't hurt me." She said. "Just as you didn't hurt the girl."
"You knew..."
"This was the best possible outcome, Anders." She said. "There was nothing more I could do, but you're all right, and the girl is alive and free from the Circle, with Ser Alrik dead. What more could I ask for?" She tentatively held out her hand to take his, but he stepped back, shaking his head.
"I'm still a monster..." He said. She grew angry at that, pain in her expression, and she grabbed his hand.
"You are not a monster." She said. "And I will not let you be one. I'm still working on how to separate you and Justice... but it might take a while. I will do it, and I will free you both from this torment, and we'll go far far away from Kirkwall, to live in peace." He didn't believe her, but he accepted it and didn't stop her when she hugged him. He hugged her back, breathing in her scent. The way he was going, there was only one way for it to end, and he'd seen it in her vision. It all made sense, it was only a matter of time...