Lady Noire uttered a soft gasp, back arching as she felt her body regenerate, her muscles instinctively spamming as if to assure her that, yes, she was alive. Her entire body ached, though even the throb in her head was no match for the stab of pain over her heart, where she had been hit by the Akuma's blast.
Two arms wrapped around her and yanked her upright, though her feet never touched the ground. A strange pressure wrapped itself around her entire front and around a thin strip along her back, and she found herself hugging back. She knew it was Mister Bug; the warmth of his arms were familiar. Even though she was still dazed – she wondered if he was always felt this way when coming back, too – she could still register his presence, and she found it comfortable.
By the time she properly had all her thoughts aligned and could move properly without error, Mister Bug settled her back down, holding her hand tightly lest she fall down.
"I'm fine," she breathed out, answering his question before he could word it, "pound it?"
He released her hand to bump his fist against hers, a tight smile pulling against his lips, though his eyes did not meet hers. Mister Bug pulled out his yo-yo and released the purified butterfly into the sky, and Lady Noire realized what a rush he had been in to get to her after tossing the Lucky Charm; he hadn't even stopped to free the butterfly.
Her heart squeezed painfully, and she reached out to curl her hand around his. He flinched back immediately, green eyes lowering to the ground. "Hey," Lady Noire chided gently, reaching out again. "Look at me."
Mister Bug did so, albeit hesitantly, his shoulders curling inwards as he adjusted his gaze. Though he opened his mouth as if he wished to speak, he slammed his maw shut without uttering a word.
"What's wrong?" Lady Noire inquired, pulling away her hand now that the deed was done and he was paying attention to her. (It was a little scary how much he craved touch – she was constantly torn between giving it to him wordlessly and keeping it away lest he panic at the sudden touch, as he was prone to do.) "You know you can talk to me about it."
His mouth opened again, but he shook his head immediately instead. Lady Noire could see his hands clench and his eyes narrow slightly, but he didn't say a word. He didn't even attempt to yell at her for leaping forward to protect him. She couldn't decide if that was good or bad.
"...this isn't because I leaped in front of you to take the hit, is it." While it wasn't a question, Lady Noire was honestly expecting an answer, at least verbally. His lack of a response was really what gave him away, and she winced slightly, swallowing down the frustration that bubbled in her stomach because he did the exact same thing! All the time!
"Bug," she prodded, "please-"
He took a step away. "I think we should trade back Miraculous." Mister Bug's eyebrows clenched slightly at his decision and at her surprised expression; usually he enjoyed milking his time with the Ladybug Earrings for all it was worth. In short, that meant they would spend a good hour after each Akuma attack – that is, after an attack that they decided was simple enough to serve as training grounds for switching Miraculous – practicing with their new weapons and occasionally new powers. They both had even started carrying around macaroons and camembert in their bags and pockets, so that they could transform either way. Chat Noir – or, rather, Mister Bug – had been especially apt in pushing his brain to the limits and seeing new angles, beginning to think up clever plans almost as quickly as she did, now. It was truly fascinating how in tune they were with each other, as they would often come up with the exact same plan.
To hear him immediately want to change back – to not hear him for so long – is worrying, and causes Lady Noire's heart to squeeze. He was usually so vocal…
"Okay." She agreed quietly, resisting the urge to reach for him again. "Okay, okay. Okay. Uhhh… com'n. Let's… let's go to… um, the 5th rooftop."
If Mister Bug had a tail, it would probably be lashing back and forth. "Can we go to the 8th roof instead?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course." She immediately agreed, wincing. The 5th rooftop had no barriers, and while unviewable from the ground, provided a nice place for them to detransform while sitting back to back, hands clasped together when they needed comfort. The 8th roof, though – they really needed to get better nicknames for them – had a few brick chimneys where they would hide on either side of. It was safer, that way, to have the wall between them, but Chat Noir/Mister Bug didn't like that roof that much because of the barrier. She was getting more and more worried as the conversation continued.
Mister Bug took note of her expression and grinned instinctively, tilting his head in the way she loved so much. "Which ever roof you want most is fine, M'lady. I don't have a preference either way." He was trying to make her happy again, but right now he couldn't, not when she knew that he wasn't okay.
"We're going to 8th." Lady Noire responded immediately, twitching nervously. She reached for the baton, launching herself into the air, Mister Bug on her tail. (Literally, if her braid truly counted as a tail.)
It was a long ten minutes until their Miraculous were switched, mostly consisting of the journey and feeding their Kwamis properly before switching.
But once they came face to face, Ladybug felt her frustration rear it's head again. Perhaps it was the small tickle in the back of her mind that insisted that she was Chat Noir's superior, perhaps it was just pent up anger, but she growled upon seeing his stupid green cat eyes and stupid blonde hair and his stupid-
"What's your problem?!" Ladybug seethed, twisting about so she could start pacing and didn't need to see his face scrunch up in pain. "You leap in front of me all the time, and when I get mad, you give me a stupid, dopey face and make some stupid, dopey excuse. And now that I'm leaping in front, you get mad and all quiet, and why. Don't you know you're being a stupid, dopey hypocrite?"
"I do know." He softly whined, his gaze glued to his steel-tipped boots. "I'm trying to not get mad and protective, but… it's… I do it all the time, and it's because you're the Ladybug; you're the one who can fix it all, and I can trust you to bring me back, but… but…"
"Not so easy when the rolls are switched, huh?" Ladybug spat out, kicking a loose pebble in anger. "Well, at least you know what it's like for me!"
Chat Noir's ears flattened. "I'm…I'm sorry, I thought you didn't… I wouldn't mean to… it's… it's instinct, now, really."
"Oh," Ladybug huffed in frustration. "Instinct. Yeah, that makes me feel better. You're so used to dying that your first subconscious reaction is to die. Brilliant logic, Chat Noir!"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him straighten slightly in confusion - sarcasm was still lost on him sometimes - and then curl into himself as he registered what she actually meant. "I'm… I'm sorry. I… I'm not really mad at you leaping in front of me, I'm just… I'm concerned. I don't have faith in my abilities, and… I can't do this without you. I'm not as smart as you are,"
She snorted at that. Obviously.
"or as fast and athletic or bold and confident or… anything, really. The only thing I bring to the table is humor, and…" he trailed off, lost, "I'm sorry. I didn't think you really…"
Ladybug's heart clenched, and the anger started to die down. "You thought all of those nights I spent screaming at you to be more careful meant I didn't care?"
Chat Noir paused, considering. "…yes. I guess? I just… well, no, I know you care, because my father gets angry like that when I see him, but I know he still loves me no matter what he says or does, but… I guess I'm just afraid that you'll get fed up with me. Hide me or get rid of me or maybe even-"
"Hide you?" Ladybug blinked, because that leaped out of her more then anything. She knew he had a fear of being forced to surrender his ring, but… hide him? "Like-like you're a stupid doll I only take out to play with? Or, in this case, for a teammate?"
Chat Noir shut down again, green eyes growing blurry as he stared out into space, quiet and confused. …as if he hadn't considered how dopey and stupid that was.
"Well, that's just stupid and dopey." Ladybug deadpanned, well aware of how much she was over using those two words. "We're partners. Can you take my Miraculous when I make a mistake? No! Can I take yours? Kwamis, no. We're equals, and-"
"We're not, though!" Chat Noir interrupted, blushing deeply as he realized he had just spoken out of turn. When Ladybug, irritated beyond belief, waved him on, he proceeded. "You've… you've got all these extra powers. You can purify Akumas and Amoks, you can fix everything that happens, you actually can figure out how to do things, you are super responsible, you're the Guardian of the Miraculous not to mention fast, strong, and confident, and, oh, yeah, you've beat multiple Akumas on your own! When I… when I get mind-controlled, you defeat me with minimal effort, and… and… and… you're better, M'l- Ladybug. It's… it's a simple fact."
"No," Ladybug insisted, shaking her head. "No, you're my partner, look, look…" she drew a hand through her bangs with a huff, squishing her eyes shut. "If I'm going to… if you're going to… Chat Noir, I leapt in front of the attack because that's what you always do. And… if you're going to be the Ladybug-Earrings-holder, no matter how temporarily, we have to agree… either neither of us sacrifice ourselves, ever, which I honestly prefer, or we… we do what's necessary. While you're Mister Bug, I sacrifice myself. While I'm Ladybug… I really don't like that option because that means that you still die more then I, and I…"
"I'll try." He responded, taking her hands carefully, though his hands were shaking, like he was scared. Scared of her. She shook the thought out of her mind, but she knew she would be watching what few clips she could find of Sandboy before bed that night. He wasn't scared of death, she knew, but of being shut out by her, of having the door closed on him. She squeezed his hands back as tightly as she could, hoping it was calming. By the way he stopped trembling and un-tensed, she thought it worked. "I'm not… I wasn't angry that you jumped in front of me." He informed her, ear twitching. "Just… worried. I don't have your skills. I didn't know if I could… could bring you back. Or if I could defeat the Akuma. Without you."
"You could." Ladybug assured, freeing one of her hands to brush some hair out of his face, trying to see his beautiful, cat eyes.
Chat Noir leaned into her touch, purring gently. "I don't want to do this without you." He corrected, using his now-free hand to cup the fingers on his scalp. "I can't, Ladybug. I won't."
"And I don't, can't, won't, either. Not if you're… not by my side."
"I love you." Chat Noir's choked out, gazing into her sapphire eyes quietly. "I-I know I'm not- I know you don't like me saying that, or… anything, but… I just need you to know."
"I know." Ladybug promised, closing the last of the distance between them and resting her forehead on his chest, his heartbeat sounding in her ears. She listened to the pounding, memorizing it and holding it in her heart. She wanted to say it back, to tell him how much she wanted to-
But, she couldn't. Their love had destroyed the world after all, and no matter how simple it was demonstrated – to quiet moments to leaping between harm's way and their partner – Ladybug was scared that it would be the end of them, one way or another.