They spent the remainder of the evening talking until Claire decided there would be enough of the Dalish asleep to find some information, and went into the Fade to interrogate them. She wasn't entirely certain where to start, so she went to the Keeper. It was easy to tell the old elf had only concern for Alberoth, so she 'woke' her to speak with her.

"Keeper, we found Alberoth." Claire said.

"That is wonderful news, though I did not expect you to speak to me here. Why have you not come back to the camp?"

"He's injured, so we've been healing him, and we will bring him back in the morning." Claire said. "There is more, but... we're not entirely sure what yet. We suspect someone tried to kill him, and I seek to route them out."

"May the gods watch over you then, child." Marethari sighed. "He has not gotten on as well as we had hoped, but he keeps to himself mostly. I pray you discover what you seek."

"Thank you, Keeper, I will do my best to figure this out quickly." Claire bowed and went into another elf's dream, but that one barely knew Alberoth and had no feelings towards him at all. On and on she went, searching the minds and hearts of the elves, feeling dirtier as she went. She was invading their privacy, learning things that would never be uttered for ears to hear. Was it right? Was she doing the right thing? Or was she bordering on villainy?

One of the elves, a young woman named Elain, had special feelings for Alberoth, and Claire felt a pang in her heart as she remembered the emotions running through her before she'd told Anders how she felt about him. Would anything come of this elven maid's blossoming love, or would it end up like Hawke and Fenris, cold and lonely? Perhaps if she talked to Alberoth, without revealing Elain's secret... She quickly moved on to the next elf.

Exhausted, she couldn't find anymore to interrogate, and wondered if maybe it had been one of the watchers. She would have to wait for them to switch out the guards before she could ask that, and so she prowled around the Fade, her anxiety growing. It would be easy for her to become a villain... all she had to do was stop caring, and she could wreak havoc on the world without even doing much of anything. Just a couple of specific targets, and bam, instant war. But, she didn't want any attention drawn to her, because she was still very much afraid of Solas, and a bit afraid of Flemeth.

What would happen when the Inquisition was brought together and Solas came out into the open a little more? Would she try to help them out like she was helping Hawke, or would she just try to live a quiet life with Anders? Provided she could get the spirit out of him... Suddenly, she was aware of another dreamer nearby, and went to see who it was. Another elf, one of the guards named Meurig, and he was full of anger and bitterness.

His dream was reflecting it, so she watched for a bit as he fought against strange looking creatures in a forest. It almost looked as if the creatures were covered in mud that was dripping off of them, disguising who they really were, so Claire wove her will into the dream to reveal what he was really fighting against, and gasped as the creatures became disfigured representations of elves in the clan, including the Keeper.

What was plaguing this elf so badly that he would dream such a thing? She started delving deeper into his subconscious, and learned that he was in love with Elain, the elf who had feelings for Alberoth, and Meurig was envious, especially since he felt Alberoth didn't deserve her love and would treat her harshly. There was more, as well... he had indeed been the one who had hit Alberoth over the head, but Meurig's biggest trouble was that he held resentments towards many of the other elves in the clan, even the Keeper.

He had mental issues, and he was a ticking time bomb if they weren't dealt with properly, but how was she supposed to help him? He'd already hurt one of the clan, what if he went after another, and did more than just injure? He was delusional and angry. Not knowing what else to do, she went quickly to the Keeper.

"I have found the culprit, Keeper." Claire said. "An elf by the name of Meurig, who has a very troubled mind, but tries to hold it all in and hide it. I fear what he will do if he's not dealt with, but as he is your charge, I leave the decision on what to do with him up to you."

"Thank you." Marethari said. "I must admit, it's a bit of a surprise to hear it's Meurig, he's always been such a hard worker, and a very diligent guard. We will deal with him our way... but I will wait until you leave. I appreciate all your work that you've done for us."

"It's no problem, Keeper, I'm glad I was able to help." Claire smiled a little, but felt awkward still.

"There is one more thing I want to know... How is Feynriel doing?"

"He's doing great, he's a very quick learner, and once he dealt with those nightmares, he's been fine. You would be proud of him, I think."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." Marethari smiled softly. "And... I don't suppose you would happen to know Merrill?"

"The Dalish mage living in the Alienage?" Claire asked. "The one who is playing with the tainted mirror that killed Tamlen and Mahariel? You know she won't listen to reason, Keeper. She is obsessed with the thing, and it will end in death..."

"Yes, I know." The Keeper looked tired and sad. "I've tried to warn her, many times, and, in a way, it already has caused a death. When Hawke came with her to take the Arulin'Holm, I gave them a task, and one of the hunters ran from her, afraid of her and her demons. Perhaps I was hoping she would have guidance from someone with experience dealing with demons."

"You do know he ran because of you?" Claire asked. "You are also allowing your fears to control you and spread throughout the clan... Yes, she deals in dangerous things, but you have no faith in her at all. That doesn't help, and has pushed her further away, and further into the arms of the demon. I will do what I can... for now, good night."

The birds singing loudly overhead woke Claire, who groaned at having yet another headache. Anders had his arms around her and hugged her tight as she stretched.

"Morning again already?" Hawke grumbled nearby. "I feel like I just fell asleep."

"Well, the sun doesn't care how we feel." Claire said. "I forgot how much I hate sleeping on the ground... at least it was just for last night." Alberoth sat up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Did you at least figure out who tried to kill me?" He asked.

"I did." Claire said. "I've already spoken to the Keeper, and she's going to take care of him for you. A guard, named Meurig."

"Oh, yeah, he's been shooting me nasty looks for weeks now..." Alberoth sighed as Claire went over to finish healing him.

"There are some in the clan who are pretty worried for you." She said. "I'm glad you've made some friends, even if you've also made enemies."

He gave a halfhearted laugh. "Friends? There are those who tolerate me... nothing more."

"Even Elain?" She asked, and he looked at her oddly. She wasn't going to betray the elf's secret, but surely he should know she was worried for him.

"Elain avoids me!" Alberoth frowned. "Any time I go near her, she makes some strange noise and finds something else to do on the other side of the camp." Anders and Hawke both shared a look, while Hawke smirked.

"I don't have to read minds to know what that means." Hawke said. "That's a girl who likes you, but is too shy to do anything about it."

"You can't be serious!" Alberoth said. "Why would she avoid me?"

"How do you feel about her?" Anders asked. "Do you share that affection?"

"Well, I mean... she is pretty nice, when she's not hiding." He blushed a little and Claire had some hope they could get together. "I've been with the clan for years now, though, why hasn't she said anything?"

"To be honest, it's hard sometimes..." Claire said. "I was in love with Anders for years before I told him."

"And I loved Claire as well, but we were both afraid." Anders said. "I was trapped in the Circle, I couldn't offer her any kind of relationship except in the Fade, and... I didn't think she liked me." Claire put her hand on Anders'.

"I'm glad we finally did say something, though." She said. "I've never regretted it."

"All right, then, let's wrap this up and get back to the camp, shall we?" Hawke suddenly got up, and Claire sighed.

"I'm sorry, Hawke." She said.

"No, no, it's not your fault..." Hawke shrugged awkwardly. "And well, Fenris did come by two days ago, and while he didn't seem interested in rekindling anything, he told me he was glad I still asked him to come with me on missions, that he enjoyed seeing me..."

"Give him time, I imagine it's hard for him to open himself that much to someone." Claire said. "But you're right, we should go. We can talk on this later, if you want."

By the time they got back to the Dalish camp, Meurig was already being tried as he had confessed when confronted, and the Keeper again thanked Claire and the others, but made no more mention of Merrill. Claire then dropped Hawke off at his estate so he could get some rest, and went back to the clinic with Anders.

"Well, that was fun." Anders said, hugging Claire. "But next time, we should bring a bed..."

"I agree!" Claire laughed. "But um, mind if I ask some questions about Merrill? The Keeper wants me to check up on her..."

"I want nothing to do with her." Anders said. "You shouldn't either, she deals with blood magic and demons!"

"I know, and she wants nothing more than to get that mirror working." Claire said. "But do you think I could even have a chance at swaying her at all? I don't want to think that the future is so set in stone that there's nothing I can do to change it..."

"What did you see?" Anders asked sharply.

"The Keeper lying dead, bloodied, in Merrill's arms." Claire said. "I think that's the only way Merrill will stop with what she's doing, is with that kind of shock... does the Keeper truly have to die, though? Merrill has a good heart, she really means well, but she's blinded by her desire to help her people."

"There's only one way you can find out..." Anders said. "I love you, Claire, and I don't want you to play savior to everyone, especially if it hurts you. Most especially if you can't change it..."

"I know." Claire said, resting her head against his shoulder. "I suppose I'll at least stop in and see Merrill soon. I doubt she'll listen to me, but it's something to think about."

"Just be careful."

"You know me, I've been careful for years now!"

The Tirashan castle was almost finished and ready to transfer the few remaining Planasene mages over, and Claire was excited. The garden they had was growing well, the animals they were raising were thriving, and the hunters had no problem hunting for what they needed. It had become self sufficient far sooner than Claire had expected. The only reason mages were still at Planasene castle was to harvest the rest of the garden, and then they would move over as well.

Mages in the Tirashan forest had even started building small houses, anticipating when they would outgrow the castle. Claire had to start expanding her territory a bit, but since the elves there never came close to the castle before anyway, it wasn't a problem. Their territory was further south, and while Claire contemplated actually meeting with them, she didn't really want them to be aware of her.

One day while Claire was helping out at the clinic in the Tirashan castle, a teenage girl came in looking nervous. Since it was a quiet day and the other healer, Maude, was busy, Claire went over.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Claire asked.

"Well, see, it's difficult to ask..." The girl laughed awkwardly. It took Claire a minute to remember her name was Heather, and that Claire had saved her from the Templars in Kirkwall a year prior, when her magic had just appeared. "I... before I was taken, my mum told me about becoming a woman, how every so often I would begin to... bleed." The girl blushed profusely, confusing Claire. Bleed? Become a woman?

"I'm sorry, I don't think I quite understand." The way Heather said it made it sound like it was a perfectly normal thing for a girl to experience, but Claire had no idea what she was talking about.

"I'm just wondering what you use during that time, to stem the bleeding." Heather said. "And... and I was wondering... what do you use for birth control? See... there's a boy I like, and if... if I'm a woman now..." Claire felt like she was punched in the gut. Birth control? She'd never even thought about it before. She suddenly realized she didn't actually know how babies were even made, past the fact that they came from having sex. She'd thought there was something else to it, otherwise she would have gotten pregnant, surely. She and Anders had never even talked about it, they'd always been too focused on other things.

"I... I'm sorry, I don't think I'm the right person to ask about this... let me get Maude." Claire quickly hurried to the other healer, who was in the middle of setting a broken leg.

"Maude, please, let me finish this." Claire said. "There's a girl who came in who needs an experienced woman to help her."

"Is everything all right?" Maude asked. "You look like you're about to pass out!"

"No, I mean, I'm fine, don't worry about it." Maude looked at her like she was insane, but threw up her hands in surrender and walked away. Claire smiled awkwardly at the patient and proceeded to work on the leg, healing it as she went.

When she was done, and before she could disappear, Maude grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the back.

"That girl only needed to know what to use doing her monthly cycle." Maude said. "And birth control! You're married, how do you not know that?" Claire could tell the woman was concerned, but it made her feel even worse, and she wasn't even sure why she felt so bad in the first place.

"I don't know!" Claire said. "I don't know what a monthly cycle is, no one ever told me! My mother died when I was twelve, I was passed to an aunt and then left in a forest to die, and spent the next eight years or so as a slave to a man who certainly never mentioned anything of the sort!" Maude's mouth opened in shock, which made Claire start crying.

"Oh, my dear girl..."

"I've been too busy fighting... I've been... been in wars. I never had time to think... to wonder... I thought maybe there was something else to it, to getting pregnant. I never thought..." She didn't want to say it out loud, that there was something wrong with her, that there was a possibility she could never give Anders a child, that she would never be a mother herself. She crumpled to the ground, sobbing, and Maude comforted her as best as she could.

"I'm so sorry, Claire." Maude murmured. "That no one prepared you for this, that no one ever talked to you... someone should have been there for you, to guide you. May I examine you? To see if it's something we can fix?"

"Do you think it's possible?" Claire hiccuped as she looked at the older woman. "Please, I don't want to be barren!" The look in Maude's eyes didn't give Claire hope, but she put her hand to Claire's belly and used her magic to examine Claire. After a minute, Maude pulled her hand away, confused.

"My dear, I... I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

"But?"

"You're missing a womb... the part where babies are made." Maude's pity hurt Claire even more, especially as the reality of it hit her.

"I think I need to leave now." Claire's voice was hoarse as a knot was forming in her throat. Never... she could never... "Thank you, Maude. But... I need to leave."

"I understand." Maude said, and Claire teleported straight to Anders' clinic, where she stared at him while her tears poured down her face. How could she tell him? How could she break his heart like hers was broken? She'd never thought about having children except for the future, after Kirkwall... but now, she couldn't even think about having a baby, it was impossible.

"Claire!" As soon as Anders saw her, he hurried over. "What's wrong? What happened?" Claire couldn't talk, her voice wouldn't come out, she could only cry as she clung to him. Had he even thought about having babies? Or did he think it was a bad idea, being what he was? She couldn't help but think about what a good father he would have been, and how he would have loved his children...

He picked her up and walked to the back room where he shut the door. "Please, Claire, tell me what happened!"

"I can't have babies!" She wailed. "I'm broken! I'm not a real woman!"

Not a real woman? Anders couldn't make sense of what she was saying, only that she apparently couldn't have babies, but why? What was preventing her?

"Claire, please, I don't understand." He said. "What do you mean you can't have babies?" She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, but she was still shaking hard as she gripped him.

"I was never told what it was to be a woman." She said. "No one ever told me women are supposed to have some sort of monthly cycle... no one told me that it was needed to have babies... Maude said... Maude looked at me, she looked inside, I'm missing something, a womb... I'm not a real woman."

"You are a real woman!" Anders said firmly, though he found himself surprised he'd never noticed himself. "Just because you're missing a womb doesn't mean you're less of a woman."

"A woman's job is to have babies, isn't it?" Claire cried. "That was why we were put on this world!"

"You were put here for a far different purpose." Anders said. "I can't deny the idea of never having children upsets me, but I want you right here with me, as you are. Besides, we're in no position to have children... I'm a tainted abomination living in the slums with my ancient goddess wife. What sort of life for a child is that?"

"I know, but... but..."

"It's the idea of it?" He asked.

"My whole life... I never thought..."

"I'm here for you, Claire, you know that. If you want, perhaps one of these days we can adopt."

"It's not the same... but you're right. It's going to take some time to adjust to this, to... accept it..." She took another deep breath and shuddered. "I was having such a good day, and then Heather came in and mentioned monthly cycles, and it went downhill from there. I didn't expect it to hurt so much, to have something taken away like this..." Anders kissed her forehead, then rested his head against hers.

"No matter what, you will always be a real woman to me." Anders said. "Why don't we go take a walk somewhere, to get a change of scenery and perhaps it will help clear your mind."

"Yes... I suppose that could work." She said. He'd seen her upset over other things, but they were never as personal as this, as finding out that she was missing something women were supposed to have, to fulfill nature's purpose. He grimaced at that thought, reducing humans to basic functions like that? After everything she had ever done for people, and she felt she wasn't a real woman? She was more of a woman than many others he'd met in his lifetime.

"It'll take some time, love." He said. "Don't feel like you have to get over this quickly, take your time to heal."

"I wish this was something I could just heal... but I can't grow body parts."

"No, nor can I." He sighed. "But we'll deal with it, just as we always do."