Chapter Thirteen: My Little Sparrow

Evander fought sleep for two days waiting for Xena to return. He refused water and food as he told his personal guard or babysitter as he called him, that he wouldn't eat or drink until Xena came back. On the third day, his vision began to blur from dehydration and self-inflicted malnutrition. He forced his eyes open and kept his eye on Tildus.

He closed his eyes for a split second, but that turned into about half an hour. His chin touched his chest as he fell into a deep sleep until a loud door slammed shut, and he jolted awake. Evander's eyes shot open, and he stared at Xena, who had finally arrived.

She took the veil off her head and slipped her sandals off. She drew the weapons tied to her thighs and set them on the table with her back turned to Evander. As she cleaned her weapons she noticed the plates of untouched food and several cups filled to their brims.

Evander's gaze burned into her backside. He was barely able to keep his red eyes open, but he fought this long. He would continue to fight. There were answers that he needed, and he wasn't going to let her just slip by without asking her some questions first.

"Where have you been?" he demanded to know.

"Why haven't you eaten anything?" she asked, turning around slowly.

"You answer my question first!"

Xena's lips were brought to a firm line, and she gently set aside her knives and approached her son, carrying a cup of water. She attempted to give him the water by pushing the cup to his mouth. Evander pursed his lips and turned his cheek.

"Drink it."

He leaned back in the chair, and Xena grabbed his jaw and pinched his cheeks together to force his mouth open. The muscles in his face tensed, and he kept glaring up at her. The flesh of his inner cheeks pressed against his teeth, and he let out a muffled moan.

Irritated, she set the cup on the table and took a step back, folding her arms.

Evander huffed and puffed once his face was released. He smoothed his tongue over his top teeth and massaged his cheeks with the back of his tongue.

"I won't eat or drink anything until you answer my questions."

Xena fluttered her eyes and grabbed a chair to sit. She flicked her wrist and forced a smile. "Ask away."

"Where did you go? I heard fighting outside for two days straight. I know you're the cause of that chaos."

Very good, she thought, he's very intuitive. Maybe a little too intuitive. He was also very aware of his surroundings, but he was still a child. He shouldn't be involved in the line of work he is in.

"You told me that the emperor would kill you if you didn't kill me." Her lip twitched into a cunning smile. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."

Evander wrinkled his eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"As of now, Rome thinks I'm dead."

His face contorted into a swirl of confusion. She was standing there before him, and he didn't understand what she meant by her statement. Suddenly, after a couple of moments, it finally hit him. His blue eyes enlarged twice their size. That poor girl, he thought. Gölge was merely a pawn for Xena's plan this entire time. He didn't want to be associated with that young woman's death. The thought of him being involved caused his mouth to sour.

A lump caught in his throat, and he coughed. "How…how do you know…my name?" he spoke quietly, almost inaudibly.

Xena's lip quivered for a split second. She lied to him thus far. He'd probably never believe her if she told the truth anyway.

"I knew your mother," she said, "in Edirne."

"The Steppe province?" he choked out.

She confirmed with a nod. She saw the look of betrayal plain as day reflects in his eyes. Now she knew that she couldn't tell him the truth. He would resent her forever.

"Do…you know what happened to her?"

Xena tried not to express emotion. "I don't know. I assumed that the Romans took her."

He let his head droop down. He wondered if he'd ever see his family again. He used to think as a child that he'd one day reunite with them, and now that he came by this information, he knew that his dreams would never come true.

"Do you have anything else to ask me?"

Evander sat in silence and sniveled, gaping at the floor.

She furrowed her eyebrows. Was he crying? She rubbed her lips together and placed her hands in her lap.

"You don't have to worry about Nero coming for your head now. I told you that I'd send you far away from here. I intend to keep my promise," she said, smiling.

Evander lifted his eyes and grimaced.

"Where would you like to go? Pick any place you like, and I will send you there."

The corner of his lip quirked up into a smile. "You're not going to send me to Edirne and keep me as your prisoner?"

She desperately wanted him to come back with her, but she knew that wasn't possible. "I said anywhere you want. Name the place."

"I can't…leave Rome."

"Nero won't bother you anymore, Xian," she slipped up by calling him by his birth name again, and he shot her a distrustful glare.

"It's not about him."

Xena could tell by the faraway look in his eyes that he didn't speak of the emperor but of a woman –a woman that he cared for here in Rome. She knew that look so well from her own experience a long time ago. It'd been quite a while since she shared those same feelings her son possessed,

"It's a woman you're talking about," she assumed.

Evander's lips parted. There was no denying it, and he replied with a couple of head nods.

"Tell me who she is, and I'll find her. She can go with you."

He continued to gawk, wary of her intentions to 'send him away'.

Despite the injuries, she endured Gabrielle was in a great mood. There was a weight lifted off her shoulders. She no longer had to be worried about Rome's enemy looming over everyone. The fear of a pair of eyes watching her was no more. She was free of worry.

All she had to be concerned with now was finishing Augusta Sabina's portrait. When she was finished with that, then she was going to have a lot more free time. After an incredibly long month, she desperately needed the time off to recuperate. The realization of her completed job had yet to sink in.

This morning, two days after the assassination, she woke up in a pool of her own sweat. The paranoia that someone was going to come in and attack her was very prevalent. She had several sleepless nights ever since Xena came to Rome. She lived in fear just like every other person here, but she couldn't allow this fear to conquer her.

As much as she hated painting the Empress, she had a job to finish. Gabrielle sat at her station for the entire day, completing the portrait and touching up areas in the painting's background. She was mindful of the wound on her arm, and unfortunately, it was the arm she used to paint with. She held her elbow most of the time while she worked.

That became old very quickly, and it was why it took three times longer than it should have to finish this commission. Once she thought the painting looked nearly perfect, she set it aside to let it dry. She knew Sabina would come by any day now, and Gabrielle really hoped that there wouldn't be any complaints.

She stood in front of her table, cleaning her brushes. She dropped all of the paintbrushes into a bowl of water and transferred them to a cloth to dry them once she rinsed off the excess paint. Gabrielle's eyes lifted, and she saw her client passing by the windows.

Xena smiled and waved her hand, briskly walking outside the workshop. She had less to fear when she walked outside in the daylight. Everyone, including Nero, thought her dead. Her days here were numbered. Her time spent in Rome was coming to an end.

The plan to get rid of Gölge came sooner than expected. She didn't plan to have her apprentice killed, but she also didn't plan to find her son that she hadn't seen since he was a toddler. Gölge, unfortunately, was caught in the crossfire, and Xena didn't hesitate to use Gölge as bait.

Then there was Gabrielle. She never predicted to find someone quite like the blonde artist. At first, she wanted to use Gabrielle to get close to Augusta Sabina, but now that her death was spread around the city, there was no possible way to use Gabrielle in that fashion. Xena was used to thinking quickly on her feet, but she was forced to make some drastic decisions with all the extra entities that thwarted her plans.

Now she found herself about to make yet another risky decision: seeing Gabrielle. She stood outside the entrance and inhaled sharply before entering. As soon as she strolled in, Gabrielle could be seen with a smile illuminating her entire face. She didn't want to admit it, but she enjoyed her time with Gabrielle. The young artist was a very interesting character and quick to open her mouth to speak her mind.

"It's chaos out there!" Gabrielle wiped her paint-stained hands on her apron. "I hope you didn't bring more of that dangerous wine."

Xena hid her smile. "No, not this time."

They walked together back over to Gabrielle's station, and Xena frowned upon seeing the Augusta's painting lingering in the corner. She turned her focus to the paintbrushes drying underneath the window sill.

"I see you're putting the brushes to good use."

Gabrielle, startled, turned with a lopsided grin. "Yes. It was very nice of you to buy them for me. I need to think of a way to pay you back."

"You could finish my painting for me," Xena took a seat on the empty chair and brushed her long hair behind her shoulders.

Gabrielle paused and gaped for a moment. She stuttered and muttered under her breath then reached for her sketchpad she kept below the table. Nervously, she sat down on the stool and flipped open the pad and looked at the unfinished sketch. It felt like a lifetime ago since she looked at it. She had yet to grace a paintbrush to a canvas.

"Hopefully, we won't have any more interruptions," she commented with an added muffled laugh. Before she began sketching, she gazed at her client. "Are you going to disappear again?"

Xena twisted her mouth and rubbed her thumbs across the backs of her hands settled in her lap.

"I have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere."

Gabrielle nodded and began scraping the charcoal on the parchment, occasionally looking up at the face she was etching. Luckily, she was near finished with the sketch, and she could begin to paint it on a fresh canvas.

"I don't like to sit for a long time," said Xena.

"I remember."

Their eyes met, and Gabrielle's cheeks tinged an obvious shade of pink. Her eyes dipped down to the sketchpad.

"Were you able to find a villa to purchase?"

Xena's stomach fizzled at the question. She didn't want to answer that, but she knew that Gabrielle would continue to pester her if she remained quiet.

"No, I didn't find anything to my liking."

Gabrielle snorted. "I can imagine, especially with everything happening around here." She blew the charcoal dust off the sketch and tilted her head, examining her work. "You heard that the Steppe woman Xena is dead now."

At that moment, Xena's piercing eyes darkened two shades. Her body stiffened. "How could I not? Everyone is talking about it."

"She caused a lot of damage with her men the last couple of days," she spoke casually, indirectly inducing her client's internal anger. "She killed a lot of people."

"I'm sure you feel relieved that she is no longer watching you."

Gabrielle lifted her head, seeing the wide eyes staring right back at her. "Yes…I feel more at ease now," she cleared her throat. "Could you turn your head to the left?" she asked.

Xena's jaw clenched, and she slowly turned her head. She didn't like being studied like a subject and was already getting impatient sitting here, despite her good company. She also didn't like having a conversation about herself with Gabrielle either. It only reminded her of how her plans changed in the spur of the moment.

Gabrielle rose from the stool and walked over to her subject. She titled Xena's chin upward towards the little sunlight they had left to work with. She smiled softly, and Xena lowered her gaze immediately. Gabrielle's smile faded, and she backed up slowly to take her seat.

"I've been to Edirne before," Xena said coolly.

The artist crinkled her eyebrows, continuing to sketch. "You really do travel all over the place," she lightly said. "Is it pretty there? I didn't know that we had several merchants that sell goods from Edirne until recently. Not to mention that the deadly wine you gave me is from there."

The corner of Xena's lip quirked upward. "There are lots of mountains, plenty of lush green fields, and the summers are much cooler than this terrible heat Rome has."

Gabrielle agreed about the unbearable summers in Rome. The moment you stepped outside, the back of your neck was drenched in sweat.

"It sounds like a really beautiful place. Maybe I could visit one day now that Xena is gone."

Xena dug her nails into her thigh. "What does that mean?"

Gabrielle guffawed. "Well, it's obvious that she hated Romans. I don't think she would've allowed Romans to come into her land."

"You aren't Roman." It took every ounce of willpower to prevent from ousting herself and lash out at Gabrielle. "You shouldn't judge people you don't know."

"You're right," Gabrielle agreed with a head nod. "But it's hard not to, especially since she tried to kill me."

Xena ran her tongue against her top row of teeth. "And you're sure that it was her?"

"I'm positive." She could tell by the tension that this conversation was heading south very quickly. "Enough about Xena. I don't want to talk about her anymore. She's the talk of the city right now. I want to talk about you. Tell me more about what you do, the places you've been."

You're just confused, Gabrielle, she thought, and it isn't your fault. She played possum for a long time now with Gabrielle and several other people she came into contact with who were now all dead, all except her son. She put on quite a show for Rome, and now due to extenuating circumstances, everyone knew she was dead. They saw her body burned in the square.

Her work here was not complete, but she couldn't stay much longer or be caught. Xian was just another bump in the road that she had to hurdle over. Xena didn't want to act bitter towards Gabrielle, but it was hard not to. She lied about who she was from the very beginning. Gabrielle had no interest in knowing who Xena truly was given her tone and dismissive attitude.

Xena pondered what Gabrielle's reaction would be if she told her who she was. Would she hate her just like every other person in Nero's Empire? How would she feel if she knew that she was befriending the enemy? These were questions that Xena would probably never receive any answers to.

But she still liked the zany artist and wanted to spend what little time she had left in Rome with her.

She swallowed her bitter resentment. "What would you like to know about me?"

Gabrielle swiped the charcoal across the parchment, sketching the strong jaw of her subject. So far, she really liked how the sketch was turning out. Once they were finished here, then she could begin painting. It was the first time she was eager to paint someone other than Augusta Sabina.

"I know you don't really like to talk about your life, but you said you don't have anywhere to be, so I want to know everything about you!"

Xena wore a frail smile. "I'm not that interesting."

"I don't believe that for a second," Gabrielle combated playfully. "You travel a lot. I've always wanted to travel to places. If I ask some questions, will you…answer them?"

"I'll try my best to answer your questions." She shifted in the chair, becoming very antsy sitting for so long. She didn't want to be asked hard-to-answer questions, and she hated being the center of attention.

Gabrielle hummed as she thought of a list of questions scrolling in her mind.

"First question!" she held up a finger and met Xena's gaze, "why did you leave Amphipolis?"

Xena sighed heavily. "You really like to get to the meat."

The response caused Gabrielle to stifle a laugh.

"I was really young when I left, and I was in a dark place. I thought I could achieve my goals quicker by leaving my home and family."

"And did you achieve those goals?"

"Some of them." Xena looked down at the fidgety hands in her lap. "It took me a long time to survive on my own, and I had a few…obstacles along the way," she thought of her son that suddenly popped up in her life unexpectedly.

Gabrielle could tell by the tone of Xena's voice that there was a lot of pain behind her words. The life that Xena had didn't sound very easy, and it was apparent that the hurt lingered even after so many years had passed.

"You don't sound very happy about the choices you've made."

Xena, surprised by the insightful comment, was taken aback. The quick tongue she normally had seized up, and all she could do was gape at Gabrielle. Happiness was not something she thought of often in her life. She never sought out happiness. Gabrielle was right; she was unhappy with several decisions she made, especially the recent ones.

Her wandering mind was interrupted by Gabrielle's shimmering face. The sketchpad was turned so she could see the finished product, and she titled her head, unsure of what to think, seeing her own image reflected right back at her. A hand came to her face as if she saw and felt her facial structure for the first time.

The painting looked a bit off to her, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She kept staring at it and then realized the issue: she was smiling in the portrait.

Gabrielle expected a more enthused reaction, but she was reminded that this wasn't Augusta Sabina, who was very talkative and simply loved to look at herself. This was the 'woman of few words'.

"You have a wonderful smile. I wanted to capture it."

At that, a grin crept up on Xena's lips without her realizing it. Normally, she would've caught the slip-up, but Gabrielle didn't know who she was. She wasn't in Edirne talking to one of her people. She wasn't obligated to put on a show for Gabrielle. She could just be herself, except she wasn't herself with Gabrielle.

She lied about who she was and had been this entire time. The smile faded, and Xena recoiled, suddenly intent on leaving. The sun had set, and time slipped away from her. How long had she been here?

"You don't like it," stated Gabrielle.

Xena shook her head vehemently. "No, I do! I do like it."

"You should smile more often." She set the sketchpad down and turned to stare out at the dark city. "Oh, I didn't realize how late it was. I kept you here too long, didn't I? I knew this was going to happen. You probably have somewhere to be."

Another smile graced Xena's lips, and she stood from the chair. "You didn't keep me, Gabrielle. I enjoyed my time with you." she rubbed her fingers together anxiously.

"When do you want to start on the painting? I shouldn't take too long, maybe a couple of days."

Xena gnawed on her bottom lip. "I could come back in two days. We should change the scenery. We could go somewhere with more light."

Gabrielle traced her fingers along her chin. "Well…we could go to the coast. We'll meet up here and then –"

"No need," Xena said with a raised hand. "I will find you."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble. I could –"

"Gabrielle," she took the artist's hand and gave a firm squeeze. "I am good at finding people. Trust me," she whispered.

Gabrielle cast an awkward smile, and she watched the hand slowly slither away. She pulled her hand close to her chest and looked into her subject's piercing eyes.

"One more thing before I go," she said, and Gabrielle nodded. "That girl who came in here when I was last with you –do you know where I can find her?" she could see the questionable look about her and added, "she and I ran into each other a few days ago. I wanted to see how she's doing. She didn't tell me her name," she waved her hand and feigned innocence through a forced smile.

"Oh, that would be Varinia."

Varinia. That was the name her son spoke of when she questioned him earlier. It was true then. Her son was cavorting with a Syrian whore, and he wasn't going to leave Rome without her. He wasn't the least bit concerned about Nero decapitating him as long as he had the Syrian girl with him.

Still, Xena kept her promises, and she had her suspicions about Varinia the moment her son began to describe her appearance. Gabrielle confirmed her suspicions with a simple name.

"A very lovely name," she said softly and gazed out the windows. "Do you know where she is?"

There was always that chance that Varinia took her advice and fled Rome. Xena didn't want to return to her son and tell him that. She already put him through so much.

"Hmm," she crossed her arms, "I'm not sure, but you will probably find her in eastern Rome. You remember what I told you about that particular area…" she hinted with raised eyebrows.

Xena inwardly groaned. "Yes, I remember." She didn't want to go there but if she had to, then she would. "Thank you," she extended a warm hand to Gabrielle's shoulder. "Two days then? I'll see you on the coast."

"Y-yes…" she held her breath. "Two days."