Chapter fourteen: Blinded

Varinia had no choice but to return to the brothel. Since the Steppe woman was no longer an issue for Rome, the city had somewhat returned to its normalcy. Varinia was forced to either pay for her room or allow soldiers to trickle in. In the last few days, she refused anyone's entry and instead received a mouthful from her superior about the lack of payment.

She sat on her bed most of the day and difficulty falling asleep at night. She kept wondering if Evander was ever going to return. When she spoke about him with Gabrielle, she got the feeling that Gabrielle was protecting her feelings. Evander could be dead, but she knew he wasn't. She could feel it deep within her core that he was alive.

It was tempting to leave Rome. The thought occurred to her the moment she received the large sum of money from Xena. She wanted to leave. She never liked Rome, and she was forced to live here because she was sold to a Roman slaver who took her from Syria. She learned to forget about her life and family in Syria, but she thought about them often.

One morning, just before dawn, she walked around the eastern side of the city by herself. Being in her room in the brothel wasn't home. It never was and never would be. It was pointless to stay there since she wasn't bringing anything to the table, and she was tired of being yelled at.

Walking around the city wasn't the wisest for someone like her, but she no longer cared when people ogled her. The city had yet to wake, and she enjoyed the foggy summer mornings. It was very quiet, maybe eerily quiet, but she enjoyed it nonetheless.

She passed by two young men sitting around a campfire and briefly smiled at them. She shielded her face with the cotton veil she wore daily. When she rounded a corner of a tall apartment building, she was accosted by two tall men dressed in animal pelts and furs.

Varinia gasped and tried to back away to run in the opposite direction. The two men grabbed her by the arms and wrapped an opaque cloth around her eyes and tied her wrists together with a tight rope.

A normal reaction would be to scream and cry out for help, but those cries for help were often ignored in this area of Rome. Varinia screeched loudly, shouting to the slumbering Romans in their homes. She was thrown over one of the men's shoulders and carried off down a dark alley.

Today was the day Xena was going to meet Gabrielle on the coastline. She needed an entire day to spread the word to her army to begin to vacate Rome. She could only stay for a couple more days to make sure her soldiers returned to Edirne.

The port was just beginning to allow foreign ships to dock, which was a good sign for her. She was able to buy a ship from a merchant on the coast, and fortunately for her, no questions were asked as to why she needed the ship. It most likely due to the amount she supplied the merchant. Greedy Romans could never resist a gold coin waved in front of them.

To minimize suspicion, she was going to have to take the long route home by horseback. That meant she would travel throughout Italia and then up through Roman territory until she reached the Steppes. It was going to be a long couple of weeks until she arrived in Edirne.

In the small place she'd been hiding out for a while, she stared at her son, who was sleeping on the floor with a blanket draped over him. She looked down at the empty vial in her palm and set it down gently on the table.

Since last night, she slipped a serum into his food and water to induce a heavy sleep. She removed the ropes around his wrists and ankles for the first time since he was captured. Xena sat on the floor with her back against the wall, watching him sleep.

She smiled softly and ran her fingers through his hair. She pulled the blanket further over his body and traced her fingers along his slender arm. They had a limited time together, and now that he was about to be sent away and unable to talk to her, she cherished this moment with him.

When they last spoke of a place Evander wanted to go, he never mentioned a specific place. Xena wanted him to go to Edirne to keep an eye on him, but she couldn't do that. He wouldn't like to live in a place where he thought his family died, but the fact was that at least one person in his family was sitting right next to him.

She thought of the next best place to send him where she could watch over him from afar. They were both strangers to each other. The least she could do was send him to a safer place where Nero couldn't find him or think to look for him again.

Footsteps approached from outside, and Xena stood up, brushing her hair away from her face. She folded her arms, and the door opened slowly. Tildus walked in, scanning the outside alley before closing the door.

"The ship is ready," he said.

She nodded and turned to her slumbering son. "You were able to get the girl?"

"Yes. Can I take him now?" he asked.

Xena stepped aside and allowed him to lift her son into his arms and whisk him away. She clasped her palms together and tapped her mouth gently, following Tildus outside the rundown apartment home. Her eyes lifted to the sky that was lightening by the minute.

They didn't have much time to hide here any longer. She understood why her son didn't want to leave Rome without Varinia, even if he despised the city as much as she did. But he didn't have a reason to stay here anymore.

And neither did she.

Gabrielle woke up later than she normally did. Perhaps her body was more tired than she thought. The last couple of nights had been the best sleep she's had in a long while. She trailed down the stairs, humming softly and stopped at her station.

She removed Sabina's portrait from the sunlight and examined her work to look for any imperfections. Sabina needed to be satisfied with this portrait; otherwise, she would be stuck working on this forever, and continuing to look at the empress' face was tiresome.

Zenodorus arrived later than all the other artists and threw down his leather satchel. He waltzed over and looked over Gabrielle's shoulder and wrapped an arm around her casually.

"It looks great, Gabrielle! I knew you would be able to finish it."

"You think so?" her eyes turned upward.

"Mhm." His arm slipped off her, and he skipped over to his station and drew the sheet off the unfinished sculptor. "You're going to have so much free time! I am a little bit jealous. I'm not even halfway finished with this."

She chuckled and set the portrait underneath the table to ensure that it wouldn't be ruined by her or anyone else here. This morning she was going to make a long trek to the coast, and she made sure she packed her brushes ahead of time. The canvas she needed as just small enough to fit in her bag.

In the last two days, her arm was bothering her, and she applied the salve given to her. That medicine had proven very useful over the last month. She didn't expect to obtain multiple injuries, but now she was about to be injury-free. Gabrielle just wanted to focus on one thing today. Nothing was going to trump her good mood.

A Roman soldier entered the workshop and took off his helmet upon entry. All of the artists paused and ceased conversing with one another. Gabrielle was too preoccupied with organizing the items she needed to take with her to notice the obtrusive soldier stalking towards her.

He cleared his throat loudly, and Gabrielle turned around, hiding her supplies behind her back. The soldier pulled out a large bag of coin, and Gabrielle graciously took the coin pouch from him.

He briefly smiled with a head nod and left hastily.

Zenodorus's jaw dropped at the overfilled pouch full of coin. He ran over to her with clay-covered hands and nearly gripped Gabrielle's shoulders, but he refrained. Unable to contain himself, he expressed his excitement, bursting at the seams.

"Wow! Gabrielle that is a lot of money!" he marveled. "Augusta Sabina pays you that much for a painting? I need to learn how to use a paintbrush!"

Gabrielle held the weight of pouch in her palm and furrowed her eyebrows. As much as she wanted to be excited about being paid off, she didn't want the money. Each time she received coin from Nero for her jobs, a piece of her was ripped away. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to do these jobs as the years went on.

The worst part of this was that everyone she worked with thought the money given to her was directly from Augusta Sabina. She was trapped in a cycle that she could never break free from. She was tied to Nero by the hip. He had her wrapped around his finger, and she complied only because she wanted her head attached to her body.

She threw the heavy coin pouch onto the table and continued organizing her satchel for her departure. The knife she carried with her everywhere was stuffed at the bottom of her bag. A hand wrapped around her bicep wound, and she hissed at the stinging pain. She hid her wounds from her colleagues. They didn't need to know what her life was truly like.

"I'll be back later, probably in the evening," she said aloud.

Zenodorus rubbed the nape of his neck. "Oh…okay, where're you going this time?"

"Somewhere far from here," she mumbled.

"Let me guess; you're going to ask me to watch your station."

She winked and snapped her fingers. "That's right. You're a good friend," she nudged his arm playfully.

Zenodorus rolled his eyes and backed away closer to his station. "I hope you have a good time…wherever you're going."

She threw the satchel over her shoulder and snatched the bag of coin. "Oh, I will." She waved goodbye and grabbed her cloak at the entrance before leaving the shop.

Varinia was brought blindly to what she thought might've been a ship. She sat on the floorboards for a good while with her sight obstructed by a blindfold and hands tied behind her back. She was briefly told what place she was going to, but truthfully she had no idea what that area was.

For what felt like an eternity, she felt the floor rock beneath her. Hours she sat, not knowing where she was and who took her and why. When she first arrived on the ship, she sobbed with no one to hear her cries for help.

Memories of being brought over to Rome on a ship years ago came rushing back. She didn't want to be taken from Rome like this. She knew what awaited her on the other side, and she didn't have the energy and mental willpower to go through that for a second time.

Across the aisle, Evander was situated on the floor. He finally awoke when the gently rocking of the ship stirred him. His eyes fluttered open, and he sat up, rubbing his aching head. Once he was able to get a clear view of his surroundings, he began to panic.

"What…" he mumbled, "what the…no."

Varinia heard a voice nearby and gasped. She inched further away from the distant voice and fell over onto her side.

Evander, startled by the loud thud, turned around and saw a mound of curly hair sprawled on the floorboards. A smile appeared, hopeful that it was the hair he had grown accustomed to seeing every day. He crawled across the floor and heard muffled cursing.

On all fours, he came over to the struggling woman and flipped her over onto her back. He lifted the blindfold from her eyes, and Varinia's mouth parted.

"Evander!" she squealed.

He untied her bound wrists, and then Varinia threw her arms around him. He lost his balance and stumbled backward with his back hitting one of the large posts. She pulled away and cupped his cheeks and kissed his nose and forehead.

"I was so worried! I knew you weren't dead," she said, smiling from ear to ear. "Where have you been? Why did you disappear? Did someone hurt you?"

His eyes danced around, and it took a while to realize that he was on a ship. He jumped up, gently pushing aside Varinia and ran to the nearest window. With a clenched fist, he let out a throaty growl. They were indeed on a ship, and they were in the middle of the ocean. The coast was no longer visible, and he wondered how long they'd been sailing.

"Dammit!" he punched the wall.

"Evander…" she stood up slowly and grabbed his shoulder. "I was told we were going to dock in Abydos, but…I don't really know where that is."

He was too angry to make sense of this little plan she concocted. He knew that the food he ate last night tasted a little bit off, and now he knew why. She drugged him. She got rid of him so quickly, and he was left defenseless. She didn't even give him the chance to put up a fight.

"I finally have you here with me!" she draped her arms over his broad shoulders. "We're no longer slaves to Rome! Maybe we can get married," she hinted, "we can have a baby too."

Evander brought his thick eyebrows together. "She did this," he whispered. "Did Xena bring you here? She kidnapped you, didn't she?"

Her face scrunched at the question. "Xena?" she laughed, "Evander, she is dead! Gabrielle told me so."

"No, she's not, Varinia!" he held her face in his palms. "She is alive! She has been right in front of us the entire time! She is Gabrielle's client," he spat.

Varinia widened her green eyes. "No…but…" she stammered and dug her nails into his hair. "Oh no… Gabrielle," she inhaled sharply, "her life is in danger!"

He sighed, too frustrated to concentrate. "Xena doesn't know that Gabrielle was hired to kill her. Gabrielle thinks that she killed Xena, but she actually killed another woman who was posing as Xena," he pinched his nose's bridge.

She held his chin in between her thumb and forefinger and gave his chin a gentle lift. She gazed into his piercing blue eyes, studying his facial features. She titled her head from side to side, and the corner of her mouth twisted into a smile.

"I see it now," she said just above a whisper.

"See what?"

"You look just like her," she said. "You bear the same face as her. I recognized you in her when I saw her."

Evander's heart hammered, and he slowly trailed away from her and bumped into the wall. He clutched the necklace in his palm. He slid down the wall and plopped down onto the floor. It was all making sense to him now. Xena didn't kill him for a reason he was blind to, but now he knew why. He refused to believe what Varinia was trying to insinuate.

Varinia smiled softly and knelt. She took his hand and pressed her lips to his knuckles. "You have me now. I won't ever leave you."

There weren't many ships that sailed from the port, but she made sure to see the ship off. Xena lingered on the docks longer than necessary. Many people passed by her, and her shoulders were bumped more than times than she could count. She waited until she could no longer see the ship from the port.

For the safety of her son and Varinia, she allowed a few of her men to board the ship to the port city Abydos. It wasn't too far from Edirne so she could keep an eye on them. She didn't know whether Xian and Varinia would stay there or not, but she sent a messenger on the ship to tell a few of her soldiers stationed in Abydos to keep a watchful eye on the two.

For now, it was the best plan she could come up with. She knew her son was smart, and he'd probably figure out everything eventually and possibly come looking for her. Another part of her wished that he'd stay far away from her because she didn't think she'd have the patience or courage to explain herself to him. This was far from the life that she was supposed to give her son.

Once she left the docks, it didn't take long for her to stumble upon Gabrielle. The coast wasn't very large, but some pockets were more crowded than others. A swell of nerves formed in the pit of her stomach as she walked along the coast. She pressed a palm over her stomach, and the temptation to turn and go the other way was incredibly strong.

She already had to do something very difficult today, and she wasn't prepared for more disappointment. Gabrielle caught sight of her and smiled, waving her hand. Xena planted a forced and anxious smile on her lips.

Her original plans for Gabrielle were tossed out when they spent more time together. It was definitely a contributing factor to Gölge's envious behavior. Xena couldn't blame the artist for the stilted relationship she had with Gölge. That girl's death had yet to sink in. There was no time to process anything, and the worst part of it all was that she didn't have anyone to talk to –anyone to share her feelings with.

She was alone. She'd always been alone, but now she truly felt it. She was going to be alone, and she partially blamed herself for the life she had. She chose to be alone, and now she began to regret pushing several people away. The list was too long to dwell on.

Gabrielle stood from the spread on the sand and greeted her client. "Welcome," she motioned for them to sit.

Xena smiled, looking down at the blank canvas, the assorted brushes, and two empty glass flutes. She sat down and tucked her legs underneath her and fixed the blue dress she wore around the area. She brushed her hands along the sand and pointed to the flutes.

"What are these for?"

Gabrielle pulled out a bottle from her bag. "I brought wine, but don't worry, I ate this time."

She poured a generous amount of the viscous red wine into the glasses and handed one flute over to Xena, which was accepted cautiously. Xena sniffed the wine and took a small sip.

"This is definitely not from Edirne," she concluded just by the liquid's bitter taste.

"I'm not going to make that same mistake again." Gabrielle sipped the wine, and her face contorted at the sourness. She coughed. "It's not the best. I'll admit that."

Xena raised her eyebrows, agreeing silently. She took another sip and then set down the glass. Though she was in the clear of being spotted, paranoia was very much there. Her eyes continuously scanned the area, but nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them. This was a rather secluded part of the coast luckily.

Gabrielle began to mix her paint and eyed her client, studying the dress and blue veil to match. She rummaged around in her bag and grunted.

"I didn't bring any blue paint," she said, disappointed. "I can use red instead. Just between you and me, blue really isn't your color."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "Is that right?"

"Red looks better on you and maybe green too, but not blue." She opened a small jar of paint that she packed and took a long feathered brush.

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I go shopping in the square," Xena said jokingly. "This is a very nice spot you chose."

Gabrielle settled the canvas on the sheet and took out her sketchpad. She slowly stroked the brush across the blank canvas, eyeing the sketch and lifting her eyes to meet with Xena to make sure she represented the colors correctly.

"It's nice, but it's even nicer in the fall. There's not really a breeze in the summer. As you know, it's really hot here!"

Xena nodded and pulled her hair stuck to the corner of her mouth. She gazed out at the calm ocean and sighed heavily.

"So, are you up to answering more questions?"

Xena turned slowly and peered down at the sketch being transferred onto the canvas effortlessly. More questions meant more answers that she dreaded. She reminded herself that her time here was limited and needed to make the best of it.

"Sure, but don't get too personal."

Gabrielle smirked and dipped the brush into the paint, tapping the shaft's edge on the brim of the jar. "You mentioned some of the places you traveled to, but you never actually told me what you do."

At that, she tapped her fingers on her thigh and pondered for a while. "I transport weapons."

There was a long pause, and Gabrielle lifted the wet brush off the canvas. "Sorry, did you say weapons?" she clarified, and Xena smiled, nodding her head. "That's very…unusual. I would've never guessed, but then again, you're a woman who has many secrets."

"Secrets that are now pouring out of me as we speak."

"Your secrets are safe with me. You don't want to know what kinds of things Augusta Sabina tells me! They would make your ears rot off."

"I can only imagine…" Xena muttered. "Are you happy with your life, Gabrielle?"

"Ah…" she continued to paint, "it could be better. But…I'm happy right now, spending time with you."

Xena wore a warm smile. "That's a nice thing to say to someone you hardly know."

"I'm getting to know you. I told you when we first met that I like to get to know all of my clients. You're no different. You've given me a hard time."

Xena nodded, toying with the hem of her dress' sleeve. "I've been told that I am not easy to get along with."

"I think we get along pretty well." She cocked her head and studied the outline of the face she painted so far. "Are you happy with your life?" she spat the question right back.

At this moment, she wanted to renege on the question she asked Gabrielle. This woman was very talkative and not afraid to speak her mind. She should've known that Gabrielle was going to ask a tough question like that, and it just so happened to be it was the question she asked first. She didn't like being on the receiving end of anything, but she played along.

"For the moment."

Gabrielle puckered her lips. "Who's the bad liar now?"

"I am learning to live in the moment. I am happy right now," Xena winked.

"Alright, I see what you did there," she let out a short snort. "To answer your question, no, I'm not happy with my life. I wish I could do so much more."

"Then, why don't you?"

Gabrielle shrugged. "I'm trapped here. I work for Augusta Sabina. I am forced to stay."

Xena's eyes dipped down, and she clutched a handful of sand. These people were trapped and forced into Nero's hand –Xian, Gabrielle, Varinia, and so many more. She could probably say that she was bound by Nero as well since she was here in his territory. She wanted to destroy Rome, and she was going to, eventually. This wasn't the time to do so yet.

"What about you?" asked Gabrielle.

"What?" she blinked, widening her eyes.

"You're not happy either. You seem like you live a good life, and you're very wealthy."

The sand trickled out of her palm slowly. "An abundance of wealth doesn't grant happiness," said Xena. "There is a lot that I wish I could've changed, but I can't. What's done is done."

Gabrielle wrinkled her nose, a bit bothered by the soreness of her wounded arm. "That's a grim way to approach life."

"Unfortunately, you can't change your past. You can only learn from it."

Gabrielle nodded, agreeing silently. She winced audibly and set the brush down for a brief moment. She rolled her shoulder back and clutched her right bicep. This summer heat was doing no favors to her wound even with the salve she applied this morning.

Xena was occupied by the crashing waves hitting against the rocks until she heard a few grunts. She turned her head and sat up straight. She leaned in and saw blood seeping through the willowy sleeve of Gabrielle's tunic with a furrowed brow.

"You're bleeding…"

"Oh, yeah," Gabrielle nervously chuckled, "so I am..."

Xena crawled across the sheet and rolled up the sleeve to inspect the wound. It was poorly bandaged and treated. She gently took the bandage off, and her mouth parted at the large wound. She gazed into Gabrielle's jade eyes, peeved by the lack of care for the wound.

"This is infected," she stated. "How do you manage to hurt yourself so often?" she chided with a playful smile. "How did you get this?"

Gabrielle bit her lip at the breeze, grazing the open wound. "It was just an accident in the workshop."

"You get into a lot of accidents." Xena dabbed the wound with her finger, causing Gabrielle to hiss. "Sorry. Do you have any bandages with you?"

She pointed to the satchel, and Xena reached over. She dug through the bag in search of some bandages. She found a knife at the bottom and frowned. She looked back at Gabrielle, who was busy picking at the puss of the wound. Xena pulled out the knife, examining the hilt.

It was a very interesting design. The hilt was unique. There were small flowers etched in the metal, and the blade itself looked worn as if it had been used several times before. Her fingers glided along the dull blade, examining it silently.

"Did you find the bandages? I know I left some in there this morning before I left."

Xena gripped the knife and found a small clump of loose bandages in the corner of a pocket. She clutched the bandages and narrowed her eyes, fixated on the short knife.

This weapon looked so familiar to her. In fact, it looked like the knife the assassin held when Gölge was murdered on the day of the raid. Raising a suspicious eyebrow, she set the knife back into the bag. She closed the satchel flap and went over to tend to Gabrielle's wound.

She unwound the bandages and gazed at the wound on Gabrielle's right arm.

Right arm. Just the same as the assassin. During the raid, she was, in fact, with her men, masked and cloaked, watching the chaos unfold unto the city. She wanted to be there when the killer decided to strike. She wanted to be the one to catch the killer.

She followed the assassin through Rome's labyrinth and climbed the stairs to the rooftops. When she discovered that she was too slow to catch the person responsible for Gölge's death, she resorted to using a bow to slow the assassin down.

She shot the arrow, scraping the assassin's arm –the right bicep to be exact. It wasn't enough. The assassin kept running despite the injury. A knife was dropped and slid off the rooftop, and then just as she was going to take another shot, the assassin disappeared.

Xena ripped the cloth in half and held Gabrielle's arm gingerly. She began wrapping the bandage around the wound and made brief eye contact.

"How did you get this wound?" she asked in a cool tone.

Gabrielle fumbled, "a…simple knife slip. I was helping one of the sculptors. He's very clumsy," she laughed lightly.

A horrible lie thought Xena. This wasn't a knife wound, and it was also days old. It was also infected because there were probably splinters inside the flesh. The clues were all there. The pieces were now being put together. The longer Xena contemplated the idea of Gabrielle being the one in charge of this assassination was almost asinine.

But then there was Gölge. She went after Gabrielle and attacked her with a knife. There was intent to kill. Gabrielle was convinced that Gölge was the person she was supposed to kill all this time. She was terrified that Xena watched her –terrified that she'd be attacked again and possibly killed.

Xena clenched her jaw and tied the bandage into a knot. Inches from Gabrielle's face, her eyes continued to narrow to slits, studying the jade pools' apprehension.

"Thank you," Gabrielle placed a hand over her wound. "You're always patching me up."

"You ought to be more careful," Xena retracted and never took her eye off the artist. "Knives are very dangerous."

"They can be if you don't know how to use one," she lightly said, smiling.

She was met with another conflict. Gabrielle was oblivious as to who she was. If the truth came to light, then she could be killed right here. No, Gabrielle wouldn't do that. It would be a stupid move on her part. No, Xena chastised herself for being so careless. The mercenary who had the order to kill her had been right in front of her this whole time.

This trip to Rome had been full of unexpected and unfortunate events. They just kept trickling in, thus making her blood boil from within. To ease her nerves and urges inside, she set her hand on the dagger strapped to her inner thigh.

Gabrielle met her gaze and smiled innocently. The hand slid off the concealed weapon and traveled to the sand. Gabrielle kept painting now that her arm was tended to for the time being.

"You should really see a healer for that."

"Probably."

"I strongly advise it."

Gabrielle cinched her eyebrows, a bit taken aback by the curt tone. "I…I definitely will since you told me to."

Silence passed between them, and Xena watched as the painting was slowly coming together. The heat was simmering down as the hours passed, and the afternoon approached. It would be so easy to get rid of you, Gabrielle, she thought. But she couldn't bring herself to do it just like she couldn't bring herself to harm her captive, which turned out to be her own flesh.

"Gabrielle."

The blonde lifted her eyes.

"I know that I told you that…I wasn't going anywhere but," her fingers traced in the sand, "I do have to leave Rome soon."

"Oh," Gabrielle said in mild disappointment. "How soon do you have to leave?"

"By tomorrow. I should have told you sooner, but…I was enjoying my time with you," at least that wasn't a lie. Her departure was coming sooner than anticipated.

She needed to leave before she did something she would regret.

"That's so soon! I won't be able to finish your portrait."

Xena cast a faint smile and stood up, brushing the sand off her dress. "You can keep it as a reminder of our time together. I should go. I have many things I need to take care of before I leave."

Gabrielle stood to see her off. "I understand," she sighed. "Will you come back to Rome in the future?" she asked, hopeful. "We could write to each other."

Xena smoothed her hands down the front of her dress and stared down at the petite artist. Her eyes flashed, gaping at the wound once more.

"I'm sure we will see each other in the near future, Gabrielle."

"How will I know where to look for you?"

"As I said, I am very good at finding people," said Xena with a smile.