"I'm never leaving you again…"

Miko laid her head on her arms as she cried, she could feel Bulkheads chest moving ever so slowly up and down. His spark rate slow. She hated this feeling, helplessness mixed with regret. She had seen the looks on the other Autobot faces when she came in alongside a limping Wheeljack, they were disappointed with her and angry with Wheeljack. Her heart broke as she cried softly.

After a few minutes Miko had cried herself to sleep on top of Bulkhead. Ratchet had grabbed a small blanket of the humans area and gently laid it over top of her.

"That cannot be comfortable for her."

He whispered to Optimus as night was falling outside the base, Optimus nodded though he didn't speak. He was worried about Miko, he had never seen the energetic young human so depressed. He watched as Bulkheads chest rose and fell, Miko moving with it. He prayed that Bulkhead would make it, he sighed sadly thinking of how mush it would destroy Miko is Bulkhead died.

…..

Miko yawned as she woke up the next morning, she stretch out her back looking at Bulkheads face. He was still in stasis, she sighed looking around her. Ratchet was still working silently over in his lab, she blinked tiredly, did the medic ever sleep?

Rachet sighed looking up, catching Miko looking at him.

"Miko? You okay?"

Miko shrugged,

"Define okay…"

Ratchet smiled slightly,

"Bulkhead will be okay, with support from you he will be okay."

Miko nodded slowly, not fully believing the medics attempts to make her feel better. Miko pulled the blanket around her shoulders, she hadn't eaten anything in hours, or drank anything. She looked up toward the humans area, a small fridge had a few food items in it. She frowned, the thought of it now actually turned her stomach.

"Miko?"

Miko turned to see the Prime rounding the corner, his eyes were slightly dim, indicating he had just awoken. Miko nodded toward him. Optimus came and stood beside Bulkhead,

"Any change Ratchet?"

Ratchet shook his head,

"No, still stable, but nothing either way."

Optimus looked down to Miko, her eyes were bloodshot.

"How are you Miko? When you returned with Wheeljack we were concerned."

Miko rolled her eyes shifting her body away from him,

"He needed my help, besides the con who did this is dead…I did that. I kill him…"

Optimus sensed a twinge of regret in her voice. He hadn't been to happy when he saw the two coming back, Wheeljack wasn't a good influence on Miko.

"If Wheeljack forced you…"

"I forced him…"

Miko side glanced up at Optimus, his eyebrow was raised.

"I snuck into his ship, told him if he wanted to know who hurt Bulk that he had to take me… so what else was he going to do."

Optimus knelt down to be eye level with Miko,

"He… or you should have spoken with me first. I would not have been angry had you come to me Miko, I understand what you are feeling, though I do not agree with the method you choose to express that."

Miko scoffed,

"Like you've never killed anybody."

Optimus kept his gaze softly on Miko, he knew she was frustrated, angry, and her words bore that.

"Yes… I have. A fact of which I do not wear with pride."

Miko curled her legs closer to her, she could still see Hard-shell screech in terror as the missiles launched at him, heard the sound of the explosion, and the sick sensation of pleasure she had gotten when his body was thrown backwards, and pieces of his armor fell off. Now her heart felt heavy, she knew she had done what she did for Bulkhead but now as her head was clearing, she was having a hard time cooping with it.

"He deserved it, he hurt Bulkhead, almost killed him. Besides how many Autobots had that… that… thing killed?"

Optimus glanced over to Ratchet, he had his gaze lowered and was listening.

"Every decision we make Miko comes with a consequence, sometimes those consequences come at a cost to ourselves… to those around us…"

Miko didn't move,

"You think he will be disappointed with me too?"

Optimus looked over to Bulkhead, part of him said yes, the other no. After all Bulkhead was a wrecker, a gentle one but a wrecker none the less, their main mission was to kill and destroy.

"I believe that is question you will have to ask of him."

Miko looked over to Optimus,

"If you are looking for me to say I regret what I did… I don't…If I hadn't of taken the shot, Wheeljack would be dead. Maybe killing is hard for you, but it's not for me."

She snapped, curling up into a ball and laying back down, placing her back to Optimus. Optimus sighed sadly. He could see the pain all over Miko's face, having still the memory of his first kill, the pain and remorse he felt afterward still hung with him.

….

A few days later Ratchet had reached his limits of concern,

"Miko looks terrible."

He whispered to Optimus,

"I think we should have June take a look at her. From what she has taught me so far that child is suffering from lack of sleep at the least and depression at the worst."

Optimus looked over his shoulder at Miko, she had barely moved in days, except for water and the bathroom, he hadn't seen her eat anything.

"I agree Ratchet thought I believe its not Bulkhead causing this."

Ratchet grumbled,

"Wheeljack and his stupidity."

Optimus sighed,

"As much as you may want to blame Wheeljack, Miko made a choice, she must learn to live with that decision now."

Ratchet shrugged slightly, as Optimus called in June. He knew what afflicted Miko, and she had to come to terms with it or it would eat her alive.

….

June examined Miko who was reluctant to allow it. The two were on one of Ratchets med lab tables as June walked him through what she was doing. Miko just huffed.

"Honestly Miko other then you being a little dehydrated and exhausted you main problem right now is depression."

Miko shook her head,

"I don't get depressed, im just angry."

June nodded,

"Depression is rage turned inward."

Optimus looked up; he had never heard it put quite that way before, but it made sense.

"You have to come to terms with things, learn to live not wallow."

Miko pushed her out of the way,

"Have your best friend get shot and almost killed with the possibility of them never being fully right again then tell me to come to terms with things."

Optimus walked over to the med table, Miko had walked to the edge of it.

"I'm done with this "intervention" I want down."

Her arms were crossed as she glared up at the Prime. Optimus had had enough, Miko was causing tension in the base even Arcee and Bumblebee had been snippy,

"Miko I will speak with you first, we can either have the conversation here or I can talk to you privately."

Miko stomped her foot, turning her gaze away and not answering.

"Very well, Miko what is afflicting you is remorse and guilt, I know because I have seen that look on many others who had killed for the first time."

June gasped slightly, Ratchet looked at her,

"Hardshell, an insecticon."

June looked over to Bulkhead

"The one who?"

Ratchet nodded, as Optimus continued,

"You made a decision Miko, a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life. Con or not, death is permanent and once you take a life it's something you can never go back on. The pain you are feeling will never disappear, it will become easier to bear with time, but it will never leave you."

Miko fell to her knees crying, Optimus's words hitting her like a ton of bricks.

"I can't sleep! I see his face, hear him scream! I feel like my chest has a 50-pound weight in it. What do I do? What do I do?"

Optimus's spark fluttered in sadness; he hadn't meant to come off harsh, but it had apparently worked. He reach down scooping Miko up in his hands.

"You must accept what you have done, don't reject it. Take it, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on. Bulkhead would not want you to be depressed and angry, We can only learn in this life by making mistakes… take yours and use it as a lesson for the future."

Miko nodded wiping the tears from her face,

"I suppose I should start by apologizing to you for sneaking around your back. I can't apologize to Hardshell, not that I would either. I… I don't know I am happy he is dead but not happy that I stooped so low to kill him either."

Optimus nodded a small smile appeared on his face,

"I appreciate the apology and accept it, and want you to know Miko, you can always talk to me. About anything that is troubling you, or if you simply need to talk."

Miko smiled for the first time in days,

"Can I go back to Bulkhead now?"

Optimus smiled placing her down gently on Bulkheads chest. He looked over to Ratchet and June, the two of them also smiling. He turned away to get back to his work, he knew Miko had a long, long road ahead of her but she had spirit, he knew she would be alright.