She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 12)
by BrDPirateMan

Yesterday, I attempted to confess to Eri, but bungled it up so badly that she thought I was just thanking her for her moral support as a friend. Just a friend.

Maybe I really was being too hasty, so I decided to slow down and think things through. My knowledge in such matters was extremely limited, however: the gears that kept my brain running were rusty and I needed some inspiration to oil them and get them moving again… Yes, some good ideas with which I could bolster my strategy would be great right about now.

That was why I was hovering around the bookstore. There was an abundance of magazines there and I was hoping I could find one of those fashionable men's magazines. They always screamed such great things on the cover such as "5 Things Men Should Know About Women" or "Make Her Fall In Love With You Super-Quick!", so I hoped to find something that was right up my alley.

The lavish spread of magazines left me rather confused – which one should I start with first? – and I absent-mindedly picked one up at random. There was a lot of stuff written on the cover but the first thing that grabbed my attention, in bold red print…

…was the words, "Bumper Sex Guide (how to make her feel good the right way!)"

Whoa? ! If Eri had caught me reading this, that'd be bad… maybe. Or at least really awkward. But definitely not life-threatening. She had always been one to shrug off things that would make others panic, right?

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. When I turned, like a scene from a slapstick movie, there she was right in my face!

"Hi!"

"Gah!"

She recoiled a little. "What's that for, Neku? ! Is that how you greet people? Last I heard, 'Gah' doesn't mean 'Hello' around here!"

"S-Sorry. You just appeared out of nowhere, Eri. Of course I'd be surprised. What are you doing here?"

"I happened to see you in this bookstore as I was out and about so I popped in to say hi. That's pretty much it." She quickly noticed how fidgety I was growing and carelessly shot me a guess as to why I was so. "…Neku, are you hiding something behind your back?"

"Urk? ! Um, no. Nothing. Nothing at all. Yup. No two ways about it."

"Really now… Suspicious…"

Well, I couldn't just show her that the magazine I had been reading had sex advice in it, and that it was splashed all over the front cover to boot! Given how close we were, it would be simply be too weird for her to know I was about to delve into "how to make her feel good the right way"!

Eri was craning her neck and trying to peer around my back. "You're not a shoplifter now, are you, Neku?"

"Wh-Why would I do that? !"

"If you're going to swipe skin mags so unprofessionally, you might as well fork over the cash." She was starting to chuckle. "You're not a good thief, apparently."

"S-Skin mags? ! No, no, you're mistaken… I wasn't, like… I'm not into those kinds of things!"

"That doesn't sound convincing coming from someone who's poking around the adult section."

"Huh? !"

Hastily I looked up at the banner of the bookshelves, and true to Eri's words, it said, "ADULTS ONLY".

Crud. I must have wandered here by mistake!

Seeing my defeated and humiliated face, Eri eased up on her teasing, but not by much if she was anything to go by – I mean, she was still laughing. Even when she patted me on the head, it didn't help my embarrassment. "You're acting just like a student in junior high, you know that? Heh… brings back memories! When you remember how we were all a bunch of under-18's struggling with puberty and tyrannical school policies, it's a relief to know we're college students. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I… I guess. Still… these things are a bit –"

"They're magazines, Neku, not 'things'," she chuckled. "And I've read a few myself too, you know? So there. I win!"

I gulped. "Huh? You've read them before? ! And what's with 'I win'? !"

Nonchalant as ever, she explained herself, "As you know, I'm a fashion enthusiast, and since these magazines tend to have photos of beautiful women, I thought I could get some ideas for my clothing designs by studying the clothes they're modeling. You never know where inspiration can pop up, right? It never hurts to be adventurous."

"Oh, I see. If you put it that way, it makes sense you'd want to try reading stuff like this."

"I gave up eventually though."

"Because men's magazines aren't your thing anyway?"

"Nah, it's just that those models aren't wearing anything most of the time. How do you expect me to get fashion ideas from a naked person?"

"Um, uh-huh. Y-Yeah." Geez, this girl really could talk about taboo topics like this with a straight face, and with a guy at that!

She cast a quick glance at her watch. "Oh, look at the time. I gotta head somewhere else, so I'll catch you later, 'kay, Neku? Just make sure you pay up like a good citizen."

"I… I wasn't going to buy this!"

All she had for me was a cheeky snigger and she was gone. Man… totally got busted, huh… Mental note to self: never hang around the adults section again! Especially when members of the opposite sex who know you are present!

I was about to make haste for a relatively safer aisle when a particular magazine yanked my line of sight towards it. Being caught red-handed by my best gal pal wasn't the nicest feeling in the world, so the guilt was twice as bad for me to even look at it. But when I saw the cover, I was transfixed. At a glance, there were no good articles to be found, unless "Sort Out Your Bedtime Problems Before Your Girl Gets Fed Up!" could be considered one, which it wasn't.

But that issue's model was simply beautiful. The magazine even shouted loud promises of an in-depth interview and a selection of her tastiest photos. Now, I don't usually like these cheap crotch-warmers – so to speak – but I was sold when I saw her face. And the fact that she was decked out in a hot bra and a pose to kill.

So now I was the owner of a copy of FGM (For Guys Monthly) with the delicious Ryoko*L on the cover… whoever she was. It sure felt like I was cheating on Eri, but just this once, I allowed myself the sin of feasting my eyes on another girl. Sorry, Eri… it wouldn't happen again, I promise!

…I must have sounded stupid making a promise like that.

Incidentally, from the time I was lining up at the cashier to the moment the money left my hands, I couldn't shake off the feeling that everyone was staring at me… scrutinizing me for buying something like a men's magazine. I had never bought one before in my whole life, so I was very apprehensive. In my head, the other customers were thinking, "Oh, so this kid's a sucker for skin and naked chicks." My face was deep red and I couldn't help it! On hindsight, they probably didn't care, but the thought never occurred to me back then.

I really was an idiot.

XOXOXOXOXO

My teenage years were relatively innocent as far as, well, teenage years go in the twenty-first century. Puberty had been a trying time – my interest in girls was met only by my shyness with the opposite sex. I remember how scared I'd get trying to confess to my then-crush Shiki and then chickening out at the last minute. And when it was lunch break and the guys passed around skin mags – sharing is caring, they'd claim – I never found the courage to join them.

So I'd never actually seen what the contents of those magazines were like. And now… I was holding one in my very hands.

What sort of dirt would be found inside? Pages upon pages of how to score with the girls? Tips on what made them tick? Secret recipes for instant-effect aphrodisiacs? ! It'd be the ultimate playboy's bible, except I wasn't playboy material!

To read or not to read? Sure, I'd already bought it. It's rightfully mine. And if I didn't do something useful with it, I'd have wasted my 1300 yen. But what if I come across something inside that would scar me forever and change my outlook on life for the worse? Maybe something like, "The Brutal Truth: Girls Love Big ****s. Do YOU have a Big ****?"

…And no, I am not answering that question!

Eventually, curiosity and the lure of Ryoko*L made me reach for the damn 'zine. How could I call myself a man if I was so nervous over a book? To heck with cold feet. This was a life experience, and you never stop learning, right?

I flipped to a page at random, like I was in a game of Russian roulette, and expected to land in an article full of smut. This headline greeted me:

"Basic Car Repair: Spare Tyres, Carburetor Replacements and More!"

Huh?

It went on: "Cars. What can we do without them? We take them for granted, and yet, when they break down for whatever reason on our way to an important date, we curse and swear at them to death. To help get yourself out of sticky situations (or at least make your situation a little less stickier), hotshot mechanic Ben Yamamoto lets us in on some simple basic car repair tips." The few pages after that showed some steps on how to fix various automobile grievances, complete with photos.

Okay… wasn't expecting that. But I was sure that the rest of the mag wouldn't be so innocent! I checked into another page, and found:

"How To Ask For A Pay Raise… And Get Results!"

Another safe article? I leafed through the remainder of the magazine and earned myself an eye-opener: actually, the notion that men's magazines were chock-full of dirty stuff was false. Most of the content was about typical guy stuff: cars, gadgets, skin care, music… the works. FGM had its share of sexiness too, but it made up just a small fraction of the entire magazine, and even then, it was tamer than I thought. The interview with Ryoko*L was the main highlight, and her tastefully taken photographs were nice to drool over for a while, but let's face it: I had seen bolder stuff on the internet.

So, long story short, men's magazines weren't all that bad. Heh, what a fool I had been all this while! If you took out all the sexy bits, they'd be pretty ordinary.

Oh right! I just remembered. I was hoping to find some love advice! My fingers sifted through the pages frantically. There had to be something in here that could help me confess to Eri and achieve a favourable outcome.

No luck. Much to my disappointment, this month's issue wouldn't be any help as there was nothing. Instead, there was the aforementioned "Sort Out Your Bedtime Problems Before Your Girl Gets Fed Up!" article – stuff about premature ejaculation and… other things… that I wouldn't need to worry about for a little while… at least until Eri and I are… are… l-look, can we not go into this? !

Just then, the doorbell rang, followed by a familiar voice, "Neku? Yoohoo! You in there?"

Gah… That was Eri! It was scary how she could come and go as she pleased!

There was a stack of old magazines that I left on the coffee table for any visitors that I might have, and I shoved my FGM copy to the bottom of it, hoping it would stay hidden for the duration of her visit. I could hide it under my bed, but the door needed answering and I was pressed for time! Besides, that was the only place I could think of at the moment.

In the doorway stood my favourite lunatic, complete with that cheeky grin of hers. "Hey, Neku, sorry to bother ya… (hic!) but I'm feeling a wee bit tipsy…"

"So what else is new?"

I helped her to the couch where she slumped like a slice of soggy bread. The whole time, she was rambling, not an uncommon sight in my house.

"No, honest, Neku… It's just (hic!) a weeeee bit! Like, wheeee! Get it? Ha ha ha!"

"…Uh-huh. I'll get you some water." I started filling a glass at the kitchen sink.

A "wee bit"? Ha, hardly! With the way she was splayed out on the couch, unable to move one inch, I'd be hard-pressed to call her state of drunkenness just a "wee bit". She was totally smashed! But it wasn't so bad. At least she wouldn't have the energy to look through the pile of magazines and accidentally discover my… you know.

Still thinking that everything was okay, I happened to look back just in time to see her pulling magazines off the coffee table and spreading them over herself.

I freaked out. "Eri! What are you doing? !" The stack was almost reduced to the last one. One or two more and my secret would be exposed!

"Whassamatter? I'ma sleep now… need a blanket…"

"And you're using my magazines as a duvet? ! Cut it out!"

She was about to reach for the second last one when I grabbed her hand and stopped her. Whew, close one! Now I just needed to get her to the spare bedroom, where I hoped she'd doze off from the alcohol. "Come on," I said, gently pulling her into a sitting position. "This is no place to sleep. Let's get you to a bed."

"I'm already on a bed, silly. And I'm not budging, ya hears me?"

"Whatever."

"Hoi, come join me! The couch is nice an' soft!"

"Now you're calling it a couch? ! And – gah!" She grabbed my arm suddenly and caused me to stumble. Although I was able to keep my balance, the glass of water that I was holding spilled all over the front of my shirt.

She bolted upright. "Oops! Sorry, my bad. Your shirt's all wet? Mm-hmm… Better take it off. Colds aren't any good for ya, handsome."

Gracelessly she rose from the couch, letting all the magazines she had draped on herself tumble to the floor like a house of cards. She tried to stand, but it was hard doing it on unsteady feet. In fact, she would have fallen flat on her face had I not caught her. My shirt may have been drenched but now wasn't the time to worry about that. Eri was the bigger source of concern… because if I let her be, she might do something insane. Anything was possible, but I didn't want that right now!

But I was too slow, and for a drunkard, she was too cunning. While I was still holding her up, she reached behind me for the hem of my shirt, and in a flash, she peeled it off over my head.

"Off," she squealed, "with your shirt!"

It was so fast I didn't know what was happening until I saw my own shirt in her hands. Finding myself topless came as a rude surprise.

"Whoa! Eri, what the heck? !"

"I told yas, colds aren't good fer – eek! Neku? !"

"…Now what? !"

She clutched my shirt to her chest protectively and suddenly looked somewhat fearful. "Neku? Wh-What are you doing without your shirt? Are you trying to… to seduce me? ! I'll have you know that I have a strict personal policy of abstinence before marriage, so don't try anything funny!"

What the heck… "How drunk are you anyway – oh, great. I'm asking a silly question. Look, just get to bed already. Come on, I'll help you to your bedroom."

"Don't need to." Then, in a very exasperating turn of events, she staggered back to the couch where she promptly lay down and started decorating herself with magazines again! "This here's my couch. My bed. Whatever… I'ma sleep here, so don't you disturb me."

"Argh!" I was ready to tear my hair out. "Back to square one? !"

I expected her to retort, or do something wildly stupid, but nothing happened. Her eyes were closed. So… she finally fell asleep. After the most exasperating ten minutes of the day, peace had returned to the residence of Sakuraba.

Amidst the gentle sound of her breathing, I sighed and wiped the sweat off of my forehead. "Man… what a way for an evening to go by."

When she nods off while drunk she sleeps like a log. Nothing can rouse her. I could carry her to the spare bedroom without any fear of waking her up (and if it interests you, she was surprisingly light in my arms), so I did just that. On any other day I would have dawdled a little to get a good look at her pretty face, but right now I was just plain tired. Miraculously, she never found out about my secret magazine, so it was all good, I guess.

I gathered up the scattered magazines and laid them back on the coffee table. And with that, it was time for me to head to bed.

But I had no idea what was in store for me tomorrow…

XOXOXOXOXO

I usually woke up earlier than Eri did, if she was staying over at my place. So when I saw her sitting at the dining table with a steaming mug of hot cocoa, I knew I had overslept. Must have been so zonked from the stress of last night's fiasco. She, on the other hand, looked radiant despite half-combed bed hair and an absence of pants.

Cheery as ever, without a trace of the dopiness from yesterday, she shrilled, "'Morning, Neku!"

"Oh… you're up, Eri."

"I, uh, kinda used a teensy bit of your cocoa for my morning drink. Hope it's okay. It's okay with you, right, Neku? You wouldn't get mad at li'l ol me?"

"…Next time," I mumbled deadpan, "I'm charging."

"Yeow… I must have hit a nerve. Oh, can I ask you something?"

"Huh? Yeah… shoot."

"You know how I went out for a drink with the girls last night? I remember crashing here, but nothing else after that, so I was hoping you could fill me in. Did I do anything strange?"

My head started to spin. Since she asked, I just gave it to her straight. "You staggered in drunk, then lay down on the couch and started piling magazines on top of yourself. And when I tried to get you to the bedroom so you could sleep properly, you made me spill water on myself. As if that wasn't enough, you forcibly stripped me topless! That pretty much sums it up, alright! Man, the things you do when you're drunk…"

She cast a goggle-eyed stare my way. "I… I did that?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay."

The top of my head could have flown off. "D-Don't 'oh, okay' me! It was really crazy, you know!"

Eri was the type to downplay the most ridiculous of things and claim that nothing was ever wrong. With a short laugh she shrugged, "Aww, Neku. After all the times I slept over, all the good times we shared, and all the times you've seen me naked, I'd have thought you'd be used to bizarre happenings by now." She bit her finger suggestively. "I guess our friendship isn't as… intimate as I thought it was. Hee hee!"

Arguments against Eri were never won. "For the record," I grumbled, blushing hard, "I've never seen you naked before. Almost, perhaps, but never completely. Now let's leave this filth aside and have breakfast already."

"Tee hee… Yes sir!"

I had not even placed the pot on the stove to start cooking when she stopped me. "By the way, I didn't know you were a fan of Ryoko*L. That makes the two of us!"

"Ryoko… who?"

She went on to explain, "Ryoko*L is an up-and-coming artiste… well, of course you'd know that. She's strictly indie, but she's getting famous. She's got a rich voice and her songs just take you to a different dimension altogether. I mean, The Prince is good too, but Ryoko*L is hot in her own way. Oh, am I rambling too much? Anyway, she's awesome."

Why would she talk about this Ryoko*L now? Wait… This feeling of dread that was building up inside me as I spoke… Don't tell me she…

"And guess what, Neku? Her personal secret to staying in shape is being vegetarian. Oh, and she loves carrots! Is that interesting or what? I wouldn't have known this tidbit about her if it weren't for the new magazine I found lying around here!"

The hairs on my neck stood on end when she fished up my FGM magazine from the coffee table, dangling it from her hand to show me. Nooo! I forgot to take it away to my room last night where I could have properly hidden it! What was I going to do now? ! If she wasn't going to think I was a weirdo/pervert then the teasing would be so thick I could cut it with a knife!

"So have you heard any of her songs yet?" grilled a smiling Eri. "I've got some of her songs in my cell phone that I can share with you if you haven't got them already. My favourite is 'Bloom in the Night'. It's dark, it's melancholy, it's the perfect song to cry to. Whether you're a happy guy or a gloomy one, you should get it!"

Funny… she hadn't started picking on me yet…

"Um, Neku? Are you awake? Morning sleepiness not cleared up yet?"

"Eri… forgive me if I sound a bit off, but do you not think it's… odd?"

She frowned. "What? ! 'Bloom in the Night' is not odd! It's brilliant stuff!"

Before she could slam me for committing sacrilege on her beloved Ryoko*L, I hastily said, "N-No, that's not what I meant. I mean, well, I just bought myself a men's magazine… and you're okay with it?"

"Huh? Are you talking about FGM?" The look on her face was a confused one, like she didn't see what the main issue at hand was. She looked from the magazine to me and back again. "What's wrong with buying stuff like this?"

I didn't expect such a blank reaction from her and was dumbfounded. "I-Isn't this the part where you laugh at me and spout nonsense like, 'So Neku's finally getting in touch with his inner pervert'? Y-You're not going to do anything?"

"…Do you want me to? For something so normal?" Her brows knitted even more. "Seriously? It's like making fun of someone for, like, breathing."

"Huh?"

"Men's magazines aren't such a big deal," she said, following a sip from her mug. "It's simply something you read to pass the time. Of course you don't read them on the bus or train 'cause people around you will get uncomfortable, but a guy can read what he wants in the comfort of his own home. What's wrong with that? Besides, you're old enough. Heck, we're freaking adults now."

"Oh, um, but…"

"But nothing. There's nothing strange with it. You can hoard all the girly magazines you want; I don't care. I'm cool."

That's just like Eri. She wouldn't look any deeper into these kinds of matters. The only one making a mountain out of a molehill was me. So I guess that was one bullet dodged… couldn't be bad.

Back to her preppy excited ways, she said, "Oh yeah! So anyway, you're a fan of Ryoko*L, right? I like a lot of things about her, but it's her personality that won me over. So which part about her do you like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was it her voice you fell in love with at first sound? Or that despite her rocker image, she's really kind at heart and does charity work? If it's simply her loud attire that drew you in, that's cool too! So which is it?"

I didn't know the slightest thing about Ryoko*L except that she was a real looker. She was what pushed me to make the purchase yesterday, but the real reason was deeper than one might think. Eri was an open-minded person so she might not mind if I told her. And after she talked to me so earnestly just now, I didn't feel like making up excuses.

I gulped. "T-To tell you the truth, I don't know anything about Ryoko*L."

"Huh? You don't?" Her lips were pursed in deep thought.

"I… I bought the magazine because Ryoko*L looks a lot like you, Eri."

Her eyes widened a little at that. But what I said was true. Eri was a beautiful girl… and more than a lot of things, I wanted her photograph so I could admire her lovely face and make my daydreams about her feel a bit more real. The only problem was asking her for it in the first place. That would have been the easy way to get what I wanted, but I was worried that I might seem like a stalker or rabid fanboy of hers, so I didn't.

And then I came face-to-face with the cover photo of Ryoko*L, who was the spitting image of Eri. They could be twins and I would be none the wiser! When I saw how similar they were, my cowardice got the better of me and I settled for the singer. If I couldn't have Eri's photo, I figured, then Ryoko*L would be a good substitute. That was how I came to have that magazine.

But for someone whose mind was supposed to be muddled with a hangover this morning, Eri was sharper than I thought.

"You bought it because I'm Ryoko*L's doppelganger? Then…" Another sip of cocoa. "…what you really wanted… was my photograph?"

I blurted, "H-How… How did you know that?"

"Call it women's intuition, but there were a couple of things that didn't quite fit together. For example, if you're really Ryoko*L's fan, you'd know at least something about her, but you don't. And you said it yourself that you bought the magazine because she looks like me, so you weren't really interested in the contents. If you cared neither for Ryoko*L nor the rest of the magazine, then it's easy to see what you were really into."

Her hand rose to her heart. "It's me, right?" And she gave me a kind smile.

Damn… Busted again! I wanted to protest, to deny the plain truth, but it wouldn't be any use now. She could be a good detective.

I was feeling guilty and blushing aplenty. "Eri… I… I didn't mean anything weird by it. I swear…"

However, she didn't mind one bit. "I know. Hee hee! I'm flattered, Neku. But if you really wanted my photograph, you could've just asked."

"B-But it's strange to ask for something like that out of the blue…"

She waved off my excuse. "What're you talking about now? Have you forgotten that we're the best of friends? That we make the most awesome team? I'm not going to think you're crazy just from that! Now, come here."

"Huh… Eri?"

I was led to the couch where we both sat down, side by side. The first thing I immediately noted was how close she was pressing against me. My skin almost curled away when she jammed her head right against mine, cheeks touching. It distracted me so much that I didn't at first notice the cell phone she was holding at arm's length.

"And now," she proclaimed cheekily, "a photo to commemorate our years of friendship and skinship! Smile!"

Click. The glow of a camera flash flickered across our faces.

And history was made.

Eri invited me to look at the photo of us that she just took, and while it made my heart leap to see myself so physically close to her, I also felt very embarrassed. I hadn't been prepared for it at all, and I didn't really get to smile. My face was instead twisted into a grotesque plastic caricature of myself.

She giggled, already on her way to a mischievous comment. "Well, you look kinda goofy in this, Neku. Which isn't bad. Because it's still cute. You could learn to be a little more spontaneous in moments like these though."

"Um… I guess?"

"More importantly, I look just amazing. Ohohoho!" Wh-What's with that laugh? "As expected of someone who's photogenic with a megawatt smile and a body that's simply HAWT…! Heh!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

Apparently my lukewarm reaction wasn't one that she liked. She slapped me in the arm. "Tch! Play along! Anyway, I'll be sure to send it to your phone with heaps of my love, so take a peek soon, 'kay?"

I wanted to hug her for being so kind. But I chose to refrain myself rather than indulge. "Th-That's really nice of you, Eri. I mean it. Thanks, by the way."

"Hee hee. Anytime."

We found ourselves squinting at her cell phone screen a little longer than usual, quietly examining the photo in great detail, and eventually it was I who had to break the silence and for good reason. "Is it just me, or is it… fuzzy?"

"Gosh, I think you're right, Neku. Okay, let's do this one more time! And this time, smile a little cuter, alright? You're actually pretty good-looking if you try."

"Heh…" That helped me feel a lot better. "If you say so, Eri."

XOXOXOXOXO

The newest photo that I took with Eri became my new cell phone background. I made sure to smile better in this one, so I actually looked like a normal person. And as for her? Well, what else could I really say about her? She was as beautiful as ever.

There was an important moral to this story that I think everyone can benefit from: if you want something, something all you need to do is ask. Want a pay raise? Ask for it. Need a favour? Ask for it! If you have a girl whom you fancy and you want her photograph, ask for it… but just make sure the circumstances are right.

And by that rationale, if you want to confess to said girl, go for it!

…I actually have yet to follow that piece of advice. I still wasn't sure how to go about it. Oh well, I was sure that I could work something out eventually.

Oh, by the way, if anyone's curious about the fate of that FGM magazine, I gave it to Eri. Since she loved Ryoko*L, she'd have more fun poring over her extensive interview than I would. Plus she might get some ideas for her clothing designs, as bare as they may be.

It's easy to see why FGM got Ryoko*L as their cover girl for that issue. Clad in lace, straps and little else, her sex appeal was simply out of this world. She was talented, philanthropic, and if what I know could be counted on, she was also apparently very nice. No wonder she was, as FGM boasted, the "ultimate dream girl".

But for me, Eri could beat her hands down any day. I could go on and on about why, but if I could sum it up in a few words, it would be this: she was perfect. Where ultimate dream girls were concerned, she was the real deal.

In another detail that refuses to be overlooked, Ryoko*L may only strip down to her undies for the occasional men's magazine photoshoot, but Eri does that all the time. Not that I'm complaining, but…

"Neku!" said Eri one day. "I just bought this hot little number from Lacy Temptations. They were doing 40% off all lingerie! What a steal it was! Does it look good on me? You can't go wrong with white bras, right?"

I nearly choked at the sight of her. "You're stripping again? !"