Chapter 27
"We're going to need an x-ray of this hand" said Kate studying Sara's raw knuckles. "And this guy is going to need some stitches and a tetnis shot. She said looking at the gaping cut. Sara stared out in front of her emotionless. Her hand was throbbing. "Can you get me a BP please" Kate asked an intern. She took the penlight out of her pocket and shone it into Sara's pupils. "Follow my finger" she requested. Sara did as instructed. "Have you eaten anything today Sara?" asked Kate. "I... don't think so" said Sara quietly. Kate shook her head. "I know it's been hard for you Sara but why did you hurt yourself like this?" she asked gently, her eyes searching for an answer. "I don't know... I guess I was just frustrated..." mumbled Sara. Kate couldn't get much else out of her.
An x-ray of Sara's hand showed 2 broken bones in her hand. Luckily it didn't require surgery. Kate stitched up her palm and placed a removable cast on her hand with strict instructions not to remove it without concent! Sara nodded tiredly. What the fuck did I do... I play guitar for a living... thought Sara, distress started showing on her face again. Without asking permission Kate injected Sara with a sedative and put her on an IV with glucose and saline. Sara was out immediatly. Kate stoked her hair "What's going on with you Sara? Don't lose your grip now" she whispered to her sleeping friend.
Lindsey was standing next to Tegan's bed looking at the monitors. Since the ecmo was removed her pulse ox dropped back to the low 90s but Kate said it was normal. The large machine with the two thick blood filled tubes were gone and Lindsey sighed, relieved. Tegan's chest tubes remained in place for now. The tube helping her breathe stayed and so did the NG tube. It was clear that Tegan was still very sick but Lindsey felt calm, knowing that she was getting better. For the first time she believed that Tee would be okay. "You are doing so great babe, so great! You're going to be out of here in no time... I love you more every day..."
Kate walked outside to the waiting room shaking her head, she felt so sorry for Sara and she hated not understanding what was going on in her head. "Hey guys" she sighed. "Seems we have another patient, Sara's hand is broken in two places. We cleaned up her raw knuckles, the cut required 5 stitches and we've got her in a cast. Physically she's fine, shaken up but fine... but I'm worried about her emotional state. I've sedated her again. I know she hasn't been sleeping for days. I've consulted with Dr Robbins and she agrees that it would be good to force her to get some rest for maybe the rest of today and tonight. I'm therefore going to admit her for the night, keep her sedated, let's just make sure she's okay" reported Kate. Everybody nodded and thanked her, she walked up to Erin who was looking shaken herself. She sat next to her and started a private conversation. "What happened E" she asked. Images of a hysterical Sara came flooding back into Erin's head. "I... I don't know... She just lost it..." Erin ran Kate through the afternoon's events. She's had to tell this story so many times already, everybody was asking questions. "I'm going to see Tegan now..." said Erin sounding tired and tried to get up. Her face contracted in pain and she plonked back down "ahhhh!" Alex and Kate was next to her immediately "what's wrong baby?" asked Alex with wide eyes. "My knee... I fell and i hurt it but it's fine... I'm sure I just sprained it" Kate and Alex helped her up and led her towards the x-ray room. "It's fine guys.. Don't worry about it, just help me hobble to Tee's room" she pleaded. Alex picked her up "time to take care of you for a change" he said looking worried. Erin had some seriously sprained ligaments and it turned out the blood on her pants weren't Sara's after all. She had a cut that required stitches too. They put some ice packs on her knee. They would consider surgery once the swelling went down but they hoped it wasn't nescessary. Callie the otho resident numbed her up pretty well and the drugs took their toll. She tried het best to fight the drowsiness caused by the pain meds so she could go see Tegan but the fight was soon lost. They decided to keep her sleeping for the night too. They wheeled her next to Sara in the double room. Sonia stood in the middle of the two beds looking at her two hurting kids. Erin was like a child to her too. She wished there was so something she could do to ease their pain.
Sara woke up with another pounding headache and a throbbing hand. Dawn was breaking outside and light started seeping through the blinds. She turned to see Erin in the bed next to her and her mom and Alex sleeping in two chairs. What's wrong with Erin? she thought panicked. Erin looked fine though, sleeping on her back with her mouth hanging open. Sara told herself that it can't be serious, she's probably just sleeping in an empty bed. Her thoughts wandered to Tegan and she breathed a sigh of relief remembering that Tegan made it off ecmo okay. She knew het mom wouldn't be in here with her if Tee wasn't okay. She thought about her meltdown and shook her head. Emy entered her thoughts again... She wanted Emy to be here with her. To take her pain away, to tell her everything was going to be okay. Nobody else, just her Emy...
Sara and Erin were both released a few hours later after being forced to eat a full breakfast. The walking wounded entered Tegan's room, Erin had crutches and a leg brace and Sara a white cast on her arm that ended halfway up her forearm. "You two look like you've been to war" teased Lindsey. "Are you guys okay?" she asked concerned, Sara and Erin nodded. "Seriously... Don't do that! You need to take care of yourselves girls, Tegan needs us"
Sara sat in the stairwell, the roof was no longer her happy place, it was ruined forever. She stared at her phone, the screen showed a photo of Emy playfully looking over her shoulder. I can't go on like this... I have to... I have to at least try. Sara pressed the green button in a moment of bravery. The phone rang once. "Sara?" She heard the voice say. Sara's eyes went wide and she pressed the red end button. Stupid... Fuck Sara why did you do that... She's going to think you're an idiot... Fuck! The phone in her hand started ringing. Emy's face appeared again. "You can do this Sara! Quin for the win" she mumbled to herself. "Hello" she said sofly...
"Sara, it's Emy... I'm so happy you called" she said softly. Sara stayed silent for a few seconds "hi Emy..." she said, emotion breaking in her voice. "Sara, are you okay, is Tegan okay?" asked Emy alarmed by Sara's weak voice. "Yeah, yeah, Tegan's much better. Her condition is still very serious but she's getting better every day... The docs say she's going to be okay" "Thank God" sighed Emy. "I've been so worried... I tried so many times to get a hold of you... I still have Tom's number and he's been updating me though but he wouldn't let me speak to you... Said it was your decision" Warm tears ran over Sara's cheeks again... She had her hand in front of her mouth trying to conceal her sobs. "Sara?... Are you there?" asked Emy. "I'm sorry Emy... I'm sorry I haven't been in touch... And I'm sorry for..." a sob escaped her mouth "oh God I'm sure you hate me... I'm sorry for that night... For just leaving without saying goodbey. For disappearing off the face of the earth... Please don't hate me Emy" said Sara through her tears. "I don't hate you Sara... You hurt me but I knew you needed time... Sara ... " Sara tried to interject "Emy I.." She was cut off fast. "Shutup Sara and let me talk!... I respect and will accept whatever you decide" said Emy sternly, her voice changed tone, becoming gentle "but I want you to know that I think you are perfect, and lovely just the way you are and that I think we can make this work Sar, you're the one... You've always been the one and I'm not letting you go without..." Sara's tear filled voice cut her off mid sentence. "I love you Emy, I always have... I need you... I need you so much"