"Why the hell am I here" I groaned from the wobbling, wooden library chair, accidentally verbalising my thoughts to the strangest of company.

The strangest company - Regulus Black, who found my word vomiting the most amusing, as he closed his book and slumped up from his head down focused position, smirking, and pushing his hair out of his face, mirroring his brother eerily "You know why. Because we both have a bit of a taste for revenge and intelligent enough minds to pull it off" he shrugged.

"You have repeated that, over and over but where is our plan? We seem to just sit here talking about the same things over and over and over again. I don't know why either we have absolutely nothing in common, you're the 'golden child' I'm well.. Not. You're a Slytherin and I'm a Gryffindor and don't get me started on political views... There's a reason I've been dodging that topic, I'm not prepared for an argument today..."

Regulus rolled his eyes, I was pretty sure he was realising the absurdity of this situation inside just like I, but he wanted to hide it for his ulterior motive - this plan.

"Isn't it sweet, hate overrules all of that" He said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes so far they probably hit the back of my skull. This whole situation was strange.

Firstly, the Black golden boy was sat here with the Darcy black sheep despite all the connotations and history and issues that drew.

Secondly, the character I drew out of Regulus. The boy was the epitome of a Virgo, he couldn't be anything else if he tried, but, recently, around me, he was... different. He reminded me so much of Sirius during these library meetings it was eerie and it wasn't right. It felt as if he had two different distinct personalities. Well not quite Sirius.. He was quieter, more introspective, less confident, he drank black coffee and read poetry and spent his nights quietly sitting in the grounds alone. He didn't fully understand love but he wished he could, he tried. His life ran on self-preservation and he felt as if he could never be truly free. Sirius on the other hand.. Perhaps two sides of the same coin was a better analogy.

When we, sat by the river at night, when we pretend to be training for quidditch together as the two 'best' seekers' he was Regulus, the Virgo stereotype, the boy who was raised in a strict household where all the rules were clean cut, a boy balancing the heavy weights of his family's expectations on both his shoulders.

He was uptight, he was judgemental, protective, organised, meticulous in every task he set out upon, he was reliable, analytical of every situation with advice that was sometimes insensitive and unwarranted - but he meant no harm. He was modest of his talents, his intelligence, while also self aware of those skills to an extent. He was traditional but respectful. Frankly, he reminds me of my father, and as someone who thought she didn't have daddy issues, I'm thinking perhaps I should re-evaluate.

Here he was different and I had absolutely no idea why.

"Why do you have two entirely different personalities" I accidentally blurted my thoughts straight out of my mouth once again. I really need to work on that.

He just stared back at me perplexed, thrown deeply into his own mind by my words. It was evident in his eyes.

"What do you mean?' he asked suddenly becoming the uptight Regulus I knew so well once again.

I sighed, shoving my head into my hands and sitting up oh so straight "I-I didn't mean to say that aloud"

Regulus scoffed "I figured..." staring coldly deep into my eyes. His stare penetrated so deep I felt like he could see straight into my soul.

"I-I mean look, please don't take this the wrong way-" I began to explain in a way that was less than ideal, I'm not good with this truthful emotional thing.

"Then don't give me anything I can take the wrong way" He crossed his arms, sat upright and stared at my even more intensely than beforehand, his grey eyes were almost chilling sometimes, even though all that was ever behind them was pain when they scared me this way.

"You, you you're a very put together person usually, you have a very clear personality" I began to explain struggling to know how to word this.

"Its very distinct... But, you seem different some nights, like now. Normally you'd mess with me through sarcasm or some other colder.. More detached method, but this is.. different" I struggled to say what I meant even further but Regulus understood what I meant instantaneously and I didn't want to see his reaction, I kept my head down for several moments before he said "I remind you of him like this" a slight tone of disgust to his voice. Who am I kidding? A heavy tone of disgust, I felt there wasn't anything more offensive I could've possibly said... Or not said?

Regulus' chair made a heavy sound on the floor as he dragged it out and stood up, him slamming his heavy, hard backed book closed once again much to the dismay of Madam Pince who shushed loudly and looked like she wanted to shoot the boy with a sniper.

"Regulus" I got up and grabbed his arm in an attempt to stop him leaving. I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to offend him, I didn't want to...

As my hand met his arm everything felt like it stopped for a few seconds and there were nothing but pure intensity, his deep stare penetrating my soul and mine his. We looked so deeply into each others eyes not sure what we were going to see behind them, not sure if we wanted to know what we were going to see. I saw pain, I think he saw regret, regret at my words, my brutal honesty.

He then moved his arm away from me, as if my touch burned him.

"Please.." He began his sentence gently before changing entirely.

"Don't touch me" he whispered, looking harshly yet apologetically, apologetically deep down, back as me as he walked, away as he walked out.

"Regulus" I whisper shouted, not caring about what Pince would do to me, or about her intense glare.

He didn't look back again.

I sulked back into my chair, annoyed at myself, upset at myself for not being able to keep my comments, my thoughts to myself and unable to think about what they may mean to others.

But then, it dawned on me. Why did I care to begin with? I didn't with any of my other friends, why was this relationship so strangely different?

Those were questions I don't think I was ready for the answers to.

So I sat there, swept up by my own confusing, conflicting, emotions in this room that was less than comforting and familiar to me.

After all, the library always brought us trouble.. Just 3 days later I would...

But first, perhaps, it would be better to let you know the lead up...

3 weeks earlier,

the past 3 weeks