She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 30)
by BrDPirateMan

Ding-dong.

"Coming!"

Ding-dong.

So early in the morning and already things were getting too hectic for their own good. I was zipping around my home getting ready and dressed for classes, but the doorbell wouldn't quit ringing and it was getting on my nerves. The person at my doorstep was probably Eri, waiting for me so we could walk to the bus stop together. And she didn't like to wait.

"I'll be there," I shouted at the front door, "in no time at all! Just hang on, will you? !"

Ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong…

Yup. Definitely Eri.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" I whisked the door open. "Can't you be a bit more – "

She stabbed me in the nose with her finger, like my face was one giant button, and chirped mischievously:

"Ding-dong!"

"…Good morning to you too, Eri."

"I got tired of waiting," she said, taking her finger away, "so I decided to give you a speed boost."

"It can't kill you to be a bit more patient."

"But Neku, you have no idea how long I've been waiting. Ten! That's how long! Ten!"

"Ten what? Minutes?"

"Nanoseconds."

"Oh boy."

The door was locked behind me and we were ready to set off for the day. "Neku, don't sigh like that so early in the morning! You've got the start the day with a smile!" She stretched my cheeks to create a grotesque mockery of one.

"That hurts."

"Now that's just uncooperative. What's a girl got to do to put a smile to a guy's face?" Shortly after she relieved my cheeks of further torment, she had a brainwave and grew a cunning smirk. "Oh well, if all else fails, there's always the age-old trick…"

Her hands reached behind my neck and interlocked to form a mesh. I knew what this meant.

"This is more like it," I said smilingly.

My hands found their way to her waist and our bodies pressed together. I leaned with my back against the nearby railing and she came even closer. In front of my door we lingered, chewing each other's lips into mush. It's always a great feeling. We could never bring ourselves to stop. Later, we kept telling ourselves. We'll stop, but a little later. Anyone who's procrastinated before will tell you though: put aside the important stuff for too long, and you'll suffer.

Eri was moaning quite heavily. "Mmmh… Neku, mmm – huh?"

"Wh-What's up, Eri?"

"Pardon me if I'm wrong, but… isn't that the bus we're supposed to catch?"

I followed her line of sight and watched in horror as the bus chugged off down the road without us. My eyes went as wide as dinner plates and – I know it's a nice quiet morning, okay? But I had to scream. After all, it was completely our fault that this blunder had to happen.

"AAAH! THE BUS! ! !"

XOXOXOXOXO

I still remember the taste of Eri's lips when we kissed for the first time as a genuine couple. That was a week ago. It would mark the beginning of what I knew would be a beautiful relationship. It's not the stuff of fairy tales, but they did always say there's beauty in imperfection.

The funny thing about us being in a relationship was that, save for the flighty happiness we often got high on, little had changed. Eri was still the bolder half of this odd couple and would regularly make me fodder for her nonstop teasing. As the saner one, I was often charged with calming her down and throwing some sensibility into her crazy ideas. There was, however, a pleasant equilibrium to be had with our everyday straight man-funny man comedy act. You know how, when you're with a bunch of good friends chowing down on snacks late at night, even the most mundane objects and situations turn into a source of laughter and it's a lot of fun? It's hard to explain, but our relationship was something like that but on more or less a 24-hour basis. There's not a boring moment to be had.

It's only fair that I share a few of our lighter moments together, so let's begin.

"Neku!" she chimed. "I love you!"

"Er… um… I… I love you too."

"What's with that husky voice, hon? Did I stir up the feelings in your heart that much? Oh my…!"

I didn't make my voice purposely husky… I was just whispering. "L-Look, Eri? I'm just as happy as you are that we're in love…"

"Ooh, so great minds do think alike after all!"

"But… you could have left the fluffy stuff for later."

"Well… No time like the present, right?"

"Not when I'm having classes!" That's right… I was in the middle of a lecture, and she called me up just to exchange sweet nothings with me. That's just how batty she was! Then I remembered something. "Wait. Don't you have classes now too?"

"Yup! But it's fine!"

I couldn't slap myself in the forehead. It was suspicious enough that I was hunched over behind my desk trying to hide while talking on the phone (luckily I had chosen a seat at the back of the classroom). Some of my classmates were already staring. And I bet it was only a matter of time before the lecturer noticed too.

"Ugh. Eri…"

"Don't worry. I'm very good at talking stealthily!"

"That's not it…"

"When you get back home, want me to help you set up a bubble bath?"

"…I don't have a bathtub, Eri."

"I know. I just wanted to try saying it. Hee hee." For what purpose exactly? "What would you like for dinner this evening? I can whip something up for you, as long as we've covered it in our cooking lessons."

"Listen to me!" I snapped, exasperated. "I've got a class now. It's very important so I'm afraid I have to hang up. We'll talk later!"

"At least tell me what to cook," she pleaded. "Come on, please?"

More eyes were starting to look my way. That meant more ears to eavesdrop on me. Our hushed conversation was like a gravity well, gradually sucking in the attention of the class. I tried to lower my voice as much as I could, but it was to no avail. Nothing I did could save me at this point.

I scrambled to end the call as fast as I could. "O-Okay, fine, curry it is."

"Beef or chicken?"

"Chicken."

"You want it hot or – "

"Your call."

"Would you like me to wear the pink apron or the blue – "

Stop it! Just stop! "Uh, um… blue, uh, wait… pink. No, I mean, blue. Blue."

"Alright! I gotcha! Come over to my place after your classes and I'll have dinner ready for you. I'll be waiting for you in my cutest blue apron so watch out for that!"

"Th-Thank you. Bye."

"Later!"

The line went dead and I thought I was finally free, but fate had one last knife to stick into my butt.

"Sakuraba," bellowed the lecturer. He was understandably cross. Kuh…! "Keep the romance out of my classroom. I'm conducting a lesson here."

The whole class tittered. Well, when your girlfriend's slightly insane, this is stuff you can expect to see on pretty much a daily basis. No rest for the weary, huh…

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri placed great emphasis on participation in our relationship. If at all possible, we'd try to do stuff together, because everything's a lot more fun with two people. Some activities, like cooking and going on shopping trips to the supermarket, were a mutual effort both of us were fond of. Others, though…

"No, Eri! Like heck I'm gonna sit through another one of your horror movies. We've watched two in this afternoon alone, and that's quite enough!"

"But today's Horror Movie Marathon Day!" she protested. "It's customary to watch scary films in succession on this day. Besides, you've yet to experience the goodness that is the director's cut of Bloodbath Mansion… Neku, we aren't even started. We're looking at three more movies at the very least!"

"Three? ! No way. My voice is hoarse from screaming!"

"But that's part of the fun!"

"Why don't we watch a movie that I want to watch instead? It's not fair for you to hog the TV all to yourself."

The novelty of a fresh idea wowed her. With an almighty gasp, she gushed, "Ooh, I like it when we mix up our routine a bit! Alright, what've you got? What horror film do you recommend?"

"We're not watching any scary movies."

"What? Why? !"

"Period."

"Like I said, why? ! It's a real thrill! Why do you think the horror genre even exists? It's to tap into people's innate desire to be frightened out of their wits! Trust me, deep down everyone – no exception! – loves to be scared."

"Sounds fishy, that claim… Let's go with something happier, shall we? All those cheap deaths and supernatural stuff really suck the life out of me."

A disappointed Eri groaned like a buffalo, but she laughed it off quickly.

"You're no fun." She poked me in the cheek. "So what are you looking to tickle my fancy with?"

"I was thinking of this." I fished out a DVD from the TV cabinet and jumped back to the couch. "Shibuya Sentinel! It's one of my favourites. Let's watch this one!"

Eri examined the DVD case and glided through the synopsis printed on the back cover. "Isn't this the one about robots and stuff?"

Being a hot-blooded fan of the film, I sought to correct her, hoping to ignite interest in her in the process.

"It's not just about 'robots and stuff'!" I said dramatically. "It's about friendship and cooperation and fighting spirit! What I like is how, even when the setting of the film isn't realistic, the relationships between the heroes are. For example, Tetsuya and Sanada hate each other's guts from the get-go, but over time they learn to work together and eventually achieve a true – "

"Whoa, time out." She held up her hands. "I don't need to know all the details. I don't want to know either."

"And you say I'm no fun…" Then I realized something. "Hey, side question… I noticed you've been coming in sober more often these days… What's up?"

Her face lit up like she had been waiting to pounce on the right moment to tell me something amazing. "Oh, did I not tell you, Neku? I've quit drinking."

I was completely taken by surprise. Eri's the type of person who wouldn't leave a can of beer at peace for more than five seconds, and here she was telling me that she had kicked the habit? I could scarcely believe it. In fact, I was unsure whether she was joking or not.

"So you quit, Eri? Just up and quit? I dunno about that… You've always struck me as a hardcore drinker."

She smiled. "True, my beer-guzzling ways are pretty infamous. But I swear I'm a teetotaler now. I tossed out my last beers four days ago."

"Really? No cold turkey?"

"I do get cravings now and again," she admitted, "but all I need to do is think about you, and I never need to take a single drop!"

"M-Me?" I pointed at myself with a faltering finger. "What do you mean by that?"

"I did some thinking," she said softly. "Whenever I get drunk and stagger back here to sleep, I cause you an awful lot of trouble afterwards, don't I? You've done so much for me… dealing with my impromptu stripteases, dragging me to bed, even washing my dirty clothes while I was asleep. And… um, I just realized that all this time I took you for granted."

"Eh?"

"The more I got to know you, the more my trust in you grew. But I came to want you to provide me with the same hospitality you showed on the very first night I stayed over. Even though I never asked you to do all those things for me, you still went ahead and did, and after a while of the princess treatment it felt odd for me if you left me to sleep on the couch or forgot to do my laundry. I'd wake up the next morning expecting everything to be nicely done and in the right places…

"Ahahaha… But I'm different now. I want to change. I'm changing. I want you to be able to look at me and see a good girlfriend whom you can love and be proud of and, well, brag about to the rest of your friends! If you can see me that way, nothing would make me happier. That's why I've set my foot down and decided never to cause you any unnecessary headaches again, and the first step to that is to banish alcohol from my life forever."

If her determination was the real thing, then that's a swell thing. But I never thought I would have such a huge impact on her. It felt twelve kinds of good to know I was indirectly helping another person to improve.

"What you're doing is great, Eri. But tell me something… What do you drink nowadays, in place of booze? Surely you must have found yourself a new poison."

She gave me a cheery wink. "Well, I've taken a liking to yeast extract soup. It's got a rich, soothing and sexy taste."

S-Sexy? "O-Oh, right. That dark salty stuff. Yeah, I gotta say it's pretty good on a cold day."

"I know, right? Best part is, I can drink all I want, and not get anymore hangovers!"

Eri was doing her best. I should at least give her my support for being a hard worker… Before I could praise her, however, she shamelessly asked for it. Her behaviour reminded me of a toddler, thirsting for attention. "Well? Well? I'm a good girl, aren't I? I'm pretty awesome when it comes to personal development. Don't you think? What do you think?"

"I was about to commend you on how much you've grown, but you kinda ruined the momentum of things…"

"Oh, psh!" Just like her to shrug off such important things. "Neku, you can't go too slow in life sometimes! You get bored waiting! But I am doing well, aren't I? Neku?"

"Of course you are. If you really mean it, that is."

"Hmph. If I'm serious, I'm serious! You're looking at the new, reborn Eri Tanikawa! Now come on, while the iron is hot!" Her hand disappeared inside her tote bag and when it emerged, a sizable cylindrical tin dangled from her fingers. "Let's you and me hop on the good mood bandwagon and have a whale of a time scarfing these chocolates! 'Cause when we have fun, we do it together!"

I took a closer look at the tin that she was proudly holding. "Hmmm… Passion Bursts…" – that's the name of the product – "…velvety milk chocolate with a hint of peppermint, encased in a delicate spherical wafer shell. That's what it says. I don't really have a sweet tooth, but I have to say that sounds delicious."

"It is delicious!" she snapped excitedly. Chocolate was her greatest weakness after fashion. "This will send you off to heaven with one bite! So what better way to celebrate my ascension as a better human being than with this?"

"Y-You bought this especially for this purpose?" I grew slightly uneasy. "Isn't this pricey? You don't need to blow a hole in your purse just to celebrate…"

Eri waved it off. "Don't mind, don't mind! It wouldn't hurt if I splurge every now and then!"

"…But you splurge all the time… on clothes and stuff…"

"H-Hey now! That's not splurging! That's called… uh…"

"Called what?"

Part of me was waiting to see what nonsense she could come up with. She had to take a while for that, though. In fact, she was stalling for time, clearing her throat and tucking away the odd strand of hair. And then…

"Neku," she said with a firm face, "what I do… is called mandatory beautification."

"What the heck does that even mean? !"

Oh, she wasn't done. That face still had that hard edge. "It means that, as a responsibly attractive individual, I am obligated to spend a portion of my funds to both maintain my outer appearance and ensure a steady influx of dopamine so that a nervous breakdown will not be very likely in the near future."

I stared at her, stupefied.

"Uh, correct me if my aim is off? But you're basically saying that you're a fashion junkie… is that it?"

"My dear Sakuraba," she said, wagging her finger like a fussy school teacher, "such terms are unnecessarily derisive. The point is, I'm just – "

"Stop!" I yelped. "Enough with the horribly mangled expressions! You're not a lawyer!"

Her broad grin returned and so did her cheeky girl persona. "That's why we should talk less and indulge ourselves more! Come on, open that trap and eat one. Go on, say 'Ahhh'…"

I shrugged and pried my jaws ajar and she popped one of the chocolate spheres in. To be honest, I was slightly skeptical. I preferred salty foods, so I wasn't sure I could give this my love. Then, suddenly…! Suddenly I was besieged by a tidal wave of impossible sensations on my taste buds! The crunch of the wafer, the smoothness of the chocolate within as it melted on my tongue, and the refreshing peppermint breeze that filled my lungs and nostrils… Ah… No wonder Eri said this was amazing. It truly was a bite-sized stairway to heaven.

She dragged out each word, "So…? Is… it… good?"

"…This is the best chocolate ever."

"Hee hee… Told ya."

It was heaps of fun to chat about life over snacks. We even forgot all about her horror flicks. I knew how much she liked chcocolate, so I ate slowly and modestly, leaving the lion's portion for her. But she noticed eventually and urged me not to be shy and just eat to my heart's content.

"Good stuff is meant to be shared," she claimed. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah. Gee, Eri, you're blushing. What's with that?"

"I'm not blushing. It's just hot in here. Neku, turn on the air-conditioning, will you?"

"Whoa, not during the winter. I'll turn down the heating a bit instead, if that helps."

"Neku!" she grumbled. "I'm tellin' you. It's hot as heck!"

I pressed the palm of my hand on her forehead to gauge her body temperature. It was a bit warm, but hardly a pressing cause for concern. She's fine. Definitely not a fever. I shouldn't need to chill the place when it's already cold enough as it was.

But the funny thing was, I was starting to feel warm myself. Under my collar I was starting to get sweaty. Not only that, I was growing a bit dizzy. What's going on?

Eri's body was swaying like a tree. Her face was now totally flushed, and her eyes were glazed over, staring at nothing. Was she sick? Caught the flu bug somewhere? This was the season to get colds…

"Eri, you okay?"

"Ehehe…!"

"Huh?"

"What're you sayin'? I'm as fit as a fibber!"

"…Fiddle."

"Middle? Middle what? Ahaha… Neku, you're funny, even if I don't get your joke. But whatever, eat up! These chocolates don't last long, boy!"

"H-Hang on…" I gulped. Ugh… My head was getting worse. "Hey, Eri! Uh…"

"Wha…? What'd you say?"

She lunged at me for no reason, almost knocking our heads together. Taken by surprise, I stumbled backwards, the small of my back hitting against the armrest of the couch. The impact rattled my brain inside the skull and it hurt. The pain wasn't severe but it felt like somebody bouncing a basketball inside my head, over and over. Definitely wasn't nice. And my vision shouldn't be this hazy either…

"Eri, I'm – waagh? !"

Why was she undoing the buttons on her shirt? ! She was having trouble too. Her fingers kept twisting her shirt in the wrong places. Was she that dozy?

"Oi," she mumbled, "can't you see I'm trying to take off my clothes? Help me out here!"

"What? No! Stop – eh?"

The tin of chocolates was resting against her leg. The pretty packaging was blurring because of my increasingly fuzzy vision, so it was hard to focus much on anything. There was one thing that really caught my attention. In a corner of the main photograph was a text bubble… I tried to make out what those words were. I blinked a few times, hoping to clear out the fog and eventually I was granted a brief opportunity to see clearly.

In capital letters, they read, "CONTAINS 2% ALCOHOL".

These chocolates… that we'd been so happily eating… and bonding over… were laced with booze? !

No wonder… It explained everything! Why we felt strange… We ate a whole bunch too. Was this what it was like to be drunk? Slowly and surely I was losing my grip on sanity. Eri was completely gone as far as I could tell, and if I didn't do something while I still had my head together, I might join her into oblivion and the two of us would wind up doing something like…

Eri licked my ear, taking great pains to trace the rim of my lobe. I moaned and tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn't let up.

"Hold it, please!" I cried.

"Neku," she whispered devilishly. "We've come this far already… We're not kids anymore."

"E-Eri…?"

"I don't want to wait any longer. Tonight, let's become one."

Not happening! Not on my watch!

Okay, time was running out for me, but let's calm down and be rational. What were my options? I couldn't overpower her into submission; not only was that brutally uncouth, my muscles were too soggy to do much of anything anyway. Trying to reason with a drunkard was a waste of time, while playing along was a death sentence waiting to happen. I could call for help, but I'm not sure I wanted any of my friends to see us in this state. More importantly, though, my phone was all the way in my room, and Eri was sitting on me, refusing to budge. I couldn't get it even if I wanted to.

So I was stuck. In more ways than one.

While I was busy racking my brains, Eri had stripped off not only her shirt but her pants as well. I just never noticed the whole thing happening, I guess.

"Whew! Ha ha ha! I feel a lot better now! Thanks a bunch, Neku!" She fanned herself with one hand, her laughter heady and sounding very silly.

"I should've known. You're… wasted, huh…"

"No, I'm not," she huffed. "Look, I can even count to ten, no problem. A, B, C, D, ten! See? !"

"Definitely wasted." And it's only from these stupid chocolates!

"Oi, Neku… You don't look too good yourself. Don't you worry… I'll help you get all nice and cool in a sec!"

"Huh? Hey, w-wait! Don't take off my – !"

Eri was a self-proclaimed pro at speed-stripping. Five seconds flat, she once boasted. That was the time she needed to strip anyone down to their underwear. Today I witnessed first-hand the wonders of her dexterity. I remembered struggling a little as her fingers went to work. Then suddenly it was over… and all I had on was my boxers. I swore.

"Oh my," slurped Eri. "You're lean, but tasty… spring chicken-style."

"Gimme my… ugh… You can't just… eugh." No good. Getting dizzier. Getting harder to string proper sentences together.

"What did you say?"

My brain was melting. I desperately plucked at random words in hopes of saying something that made sense. In the end, I came up with:

"…Your bra… is very sexy."

What… What did I just say? !

Ack, too late. She heard that. And it was making her act even stranger. She trained her unsteady eye at me, before her lips stretched into a goofy (if slightly twisted) grin.

"Ooh, interested? This is the latest entry in the Super V series. Cute, eh? Everyone should wear it. You should try it too!"

"Why not." Huh? !

"So brave!" she giggled. "Yeah, that's right. Set your mind free and everything will follow… I think it goes like that, or… eh."

It was like someone had taken over my body and was spouting all sorts of nonsense in my stead. I listened in horror to the things that were coming out of my mouth. I was a hapless spectator to my own body. Never mess with alcohol, ever!

I willed my remaining strength to squeeze out a few last words which I wished would be the saviors to pull me out of this nightmare.

"Please be gentle…"

That's not what I wanted to say! Was I that hopeless? !

That was the final nail in my coffin. Eri's grin already looked worrying enough before. Now it widened to epic proportions and it was quite unsettling seeing her lick her chops.

"Hee hee hee… Oh, don't you worry one bit. I'm not going to let you sleep tonight though… It'll be awesome. So now… it's dinner time!"

Gah! This was the end!

My strength gave out. My mind was going. And Eri took her sweet time, savouring me like a giant stick of ice-cream. Her tongue was lapping all over my face in quick cat-like licks.

"Exquisite," she drawled dementedly. Then she moved further up to the bridge of my nose.

At that moment, a wave of acute pain seized my groin. No… It's easy to mistake this as us consummating our relationship, but the truth was a lot less glamorous.

Eri had tried to get into a better position to lick my forehead, and while she was moving around, she accidentally sank her knee into my groin and crushed it. The entirety of her body weight was pressed down on my precious area. The pain was unbelievable. I had pancakes down below!

I screamed. So loudly, in fact, that even the muddleheaded Eri was startled.

"Whuh? Neku? Whassamatter? !"

She unintentionally shifted her leg away and left my groin at peace but it was still on fire. I was this close to killing myself. Why did I have to suffer this fate just barely a week after she kicked me in the same area? !

On the plus side, it had the unexpected side effect of sobering me up. If there was still alcohol in my bloodstream, I definitely didn't feel it now.

As for Eri, well… she didn't stick around for too long. The girl fell asleep swiftly. Her tired body flopped on top of mine. I waited for something else to happen but fortunately I was in the clear. She was out cold.

That was too close.

The whole episode got me wondering if she really got over drinking for good.

Fast forward to next morning. I was on the couch, sitting very gingerly with a cup of cocoa in hand, making sure not to make any sudden movements to hurt my sensitive parts even more. Eri, all groggy and zombie-like, came out of the spare bedroom where I had carried her to last night. When she shuffled into the living room she was just in time to witness a peculiar sight.

"Neku? Wh-What's that bag of ice doing on your junk?"

I heaved a sigh.

"It's a long story."

After she knew the truth, she apologized profusely and promised to be more careful in the future and not buy anymore liquor-filled chocolates, though she did make it clear that she still had no intention to drink again. Only time would tell if her words could stay true in the long term.

XOXOXOXOXO

Despite her quirks, Eri's no different from the average human being, really. She's not some all-forgiving god. Say the wrong things and she could get hurt, so she's awfully sensitive too. I was usually very careful with everything in general, but… sometimes when she freaks out, it's not even my fault.

"And welcome to the Special Winter Collection Swimwear Show… courtesy of yours truly, the relentlessly amazing Eri Tanikawa! Round of applause, please!"

She struck a haughty pose, head held high. Her body language demanded a show of appreciation which I was only too happy to oblige with. I clapped for her, but it wasn't enough to satisfy her lust for attention.

"Ahem! Some vocal gratitude would be nice."

"Using that scarf as a makeshift bikini top is a clever touch, Eri."

"Well now, that's more like it! Ohohoho!"

Our plans to go out on a date today were derailed by the bad weather. It was cold and blustery outside. No one would be out and about on the streets. Eri's resourcefulness led to the outlandish idea of holding an improvised fashion show in my living room to weather the storm. The bikini she was wearing would be one of many.

"You look fantastic," I said approvingly. "Just be careful not to inflate that ego too much. I can't help you if your head explodes."

"I can't help you if your nose explodes," she retorted with a laugh.

She got me there… It was straining indeed but I bravely fought it down. "Alright, that's your win."

"Got this baby down at Molco, by the way." She twirled round, eager to gave me an eyeful of her perky behind. "It was super-cheap too so that makes me doubly lucky. Ha! When it comes to sniffing out the best bargains, you can't stand up to the smarts of me!"

"I'll be sure to take you along with me next time I go shopping for clothes. Maybe your bloodhound senses could help me snag a solid deal."

"Good thinking. I can get you a mean bikini if you just let me." More girlish laughter. "Or at least a frilly bra to go with your manliness."

"Stop. You're going to give us both nightmares."

"Ha ha…! You're probably right. Alright, ready for the next one? I got a whole bunch of swimsuits that I want you to see. Give me your honest opinion too, okay? I need a guy's perspective to know which ones really leave a lasting impression."

"That's all I need to do so I can sit back and enjoy the show? I'm in."

"Groovy!" She was in high spirits. "Oh, before I forget… Here, put this on first."

Eri slipped a blindfold over my eyes and the world around me went dark.

"You'll want that while I'm changing," she said, "though if you don't want to use it, I'm not going to stop you… hee hee. It's nice to have choices in life, isn't it?"

Amidst her perverted giggles, I was firm in voicing my decision. "I-I'll stick with the safer way for now, thank you very much."

Really? Was it really that much safer? The average person views the surroundings with five senses – sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Lose one of them, and the others become heightened in sensitivity to compensate. My blindness caused me to grow even more aware of everything. I could hear what little of her clothes rustling as she took them off, and that's just the start!

But that wasn't the hardest of my trials. What was the use of a blindfold if I could still see her in my mind's eye? You could slap down a brick wall two feet thick in between us, but it wouldn't stop me from imagining what she was doing. The subtle movements of her fingers as they undid the knots on her swimsuit… the serenity with which they peeled off of her body… I could see it all. Whoa. This was one of those times when a creative mind was more curse than gift (or was it the other way around?).

I tried to rein it all in by reminding myself that it was high time I was past nosebleeds and nervousness, but the kittens I was having litters of wouldn't leave!

All of these factors combined left me fidgeting uncontrollably and I had a difficult time sitting still. More than anything, I wanted to just rip off my blindfold, pounce on Eri, and have her for supper. It's only because I held the utmost care and respect for her as my girlfriend that I held back. But I was still a ticking time bomb and my fuse was short.

"Okay Neku!" chirped Eri. "Take a look!"

I was only too glad to lift the blindfold off. That was torture in its own right! Now that my sight was restored I was able to calm down. More or less, for what it was worth.

"Does this work for me?"

"It's on the gaudy side, Eri. Just slightly… But I guess it doesn't matter, so yeah, it's good."

I found myself on the receiving end of a blank stare.

"Wh-What?" I gulped. "Eri, did… did I say something wrong?"

Her reply was stilted and unsure. "Is… Is this one that bad?"

"Eh? I never said it was bad… In fact, it's good."

"But see!" She jabbed a finger at me. "You said 'good'! In my book, 'good' isn't enough! It's the kind of adjective people use when they're too lazy to provide a better description. Either that or they don't want to hurt your feelings… Neku, which is it? !"

The sweat started to trickle down my neck. What had I gotten myself into?

"Uh, calm down, Eri… It's nothing like that… I really think you look goo– I mean, amazing in it."

With arms crossed she confronted me with a huff, and it was obvious my explanation couldn't reach her. "I thought you're better than that, Neku. It's all about the breasts, isn't it? I bet you think my chest is no good."

My vision immediately snapped there… you know, to see if, um, anything was out of place. No ulterior motives, naturally! But that it looked fine made her accusations all the more bizarre.

"Wh-Where did this come from, Eri? ! I never once implied – "

"It's the sad truth, isn't it?" she sighed. "The woes of a woman destined to live the rest of her miserable existence with a pair of B cups… Modest at best, confidence-crushing at worst."

"Whoa, whoa, hold the phone. That's crazy talk." I stood up at once and grabbed both of her hands, promising her reassurance and sincerity. "Your chest looks alright to me! Really, it's a… it's a great chest!" What the heck was I saying…

"Is that so? B-But… when I groped Rhyme that time…" – I must guiltily admit I overheard the whole thing taking place back then – "…I kinda weighed them in my hands, and they're nice and heavy, see? And they've got a pleasant bouncy feel to them too… I've always wanted my own to look like that… Let's just say it's a girl thing, and – uh, Neku, your nose is – "

"I… I know. L-Let me get a tissue."

Knowing Eri, this probably wasn't going to bode well…

In a mixture of irritation and distress, she hurled even more baseless accusations at me. "See! You said you like my chest, but it's so obvious you like Rhyme's a lot better! Why else would you get a nosebleed when I talked about her? !"

"Th-This isn't because of her," I tried to explain. "I just got a little excited listening to how you felt her up – ah! When I say I got excited it's not because of her getting felt up, it's just…!"

My throat seized up when I saw the shadowy aura gathering around her. Not even the cheery floral prints of her bikini could dispel the darkness. She's getting deathly jealous. Jealousy is a normal feeling to have, but all this fuss over bust sizes? Gimme a break! I didn't care about those things, but then again, I wasn't a woman to begin with. I was more than satisfied that hers were normal. It'd be messed up if they were cube-shaped. That's reason enough to be happy, right? !

"Ohohoho…" Whoa, creepy girl alert! Her eyes were hidden within the shadow of her hair and her lips were twisted into an angry smirk. Uh-oh. "So as long as a girl's cup size isn't up to your unreasonably lofty standards, she has about as much worth as a wad of chewed-up gum. To think you'd go that far…"

I called out urgently to her. "Eri! Wait, wait. Please wait and listen to me. I-I'm just gonna ask you some simple questions so you don't misunderstand me. Okay?"

"Your sweet talk isn't going to work this time. But you can always try."

Damn, she's scary… "R-Right… Uh, okay. Who's your boyfriend?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "…It's you. But why are you – "

"Who cares about you the most? Apart from your mum and dad."

"Uh… you."

"Good. Now tell me who is in love with you."

"…You. Look, can we dispense with the silly pop quizzes and get back to – "

"No, not yet. Last one! You already know who would give anything to love you, Eri. So you should know there's only one girl's figure I'm interested in. Quickly now! Who is this girl?"

"…Uh, Rhyme?"

I let out a grumble and punished her with a flick to the forehead. "Wrong answer."

"Ow!" she yelped, rubbing the spot where I had hit her. "Neku, you jerk! That hurt! Besides, I kinda know you're talking about me…"

"Th-Then why didn't you just say so…"

"I… I was just – "

I didn't wait for her to finish. I planted a brief peck on her forehead where it must sting, and she went "eep" – insanely adorable, by the way. Dazed into a state of paralysis, she just stayed stock still. I used the ensuing lapse of time to reiterate my feelings for her in the kindest way I could handle without sounding too hammy.

"Eri, listen to me," I said, our eyes connecting. "Things like looks and bust size are unimportant to me. I only care about what's over here!" And I pointed.

She frowned, unimpressed. "Neku, don't be a hypocrite. You're still pointing at my chest."

Argh. That's true, but…! "No! I'm talking about what's behind it! Your heart!"

"My… ah."

"I love you for who you are, Eri. Shouldn't you know this by now?"

She bit her lip, realizing she might have been too theatrical. Her voice went soft. "I… I actually know that very well. But I get self-conscious sometimes, especially when I see girls out there who have bigger busts or can do things that I can't. I can't help how I feel. You're my boyfriend, so I don't want you to be taken away by anyone else. To stay on a competitive level, I've been improving myself – I practice my cooking often, gave up on alcohol, and look after my figure. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to know your girlfriend's capable of a lot of things?"

I gave her a gentle smile to try and calm her aching heart. "You're more than capable already, Eri. But thank you… You've been working hard. However, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to go after anyone else, and that's a promise. Because I love you, simple as that."

Her face went beet red but I could see a smile creeping along her lips slowly. It was a sign that she was finally getting the message.

"Y-You don't mind me," she said meekly, "even when I'm not as busty as the next girl?"

I chuckled, pointing at her chest. "Hey, does this look small to you?"

Poink.

Huh? Poink?

What in the world was that? …Oh, maybe that's the sound effect that you hear when you accidentally touch a girl's breasts… because that's exactly what I just did!

I hurriedly pulled away, going into a total fit over the sensation I just felt in my index finger. Up until this day I had never before touched a girl's breasts with my hands. It was usually other parts of my anatomy that got the doughy treatment, for example my back when she hugged me from behind, or my arm when she used me as a bolster. So what happened was a first for me and I was freaking out big time.

"What did I just touch? !" I squawked. "Aahhh! ! !"

"Whoa, get a hold of yourself!"

"I'm sorry! It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose… I didn't mean to – !"

Eri had to calm me down. "Neku, Neku! Chill! It's alright… I'm not offended at all!"

"R-Really? Y-You're okay with that? Wait, why are you okay with that?"

She grasped my arm gently. "This was bound to happen sooner or later anyway… And I really don't mind if it's you. I'd hate it though, if some other guy groped me." Her eyes flashed dangerously for a second. "I'd probably castrate him in a half-second… Anyway, you're okay in my book so there's no problem, ahaha!"

"O-Ooh… uh… G-Good to know you're so open-minded…" Lucky for me I wasn't 'some other guy'!

Eri continued to caress my arm, and the threatening atmosphere that lingered around her earlier was now gone. Thanks to her, I began to relax. "I'm like this with you because I trust you."

"Um, thanks. I… uh… I trust you…" – as an afterthought I added, "…too?"

"Smooth."

"Ahaha…" I had a long way to go before I could be comfortably suave. "Um… I'm just gonna get something off my mind. What is with this amazing feeling in my fingertips?"

"What's this again?"

"For someone who claims to have an unimpressive bust, you're…" – my face grew deep red as I said this – "…pretty well-endowed, you know."

This was a revelation that surprised her to no end (obvious as it may have been from the start). Her eyes were spread wide open and the mouth was ajar. Apparently insanity was contagious, so now she was the one freaking out.

"Neku!" she stammered. "You're not smoking anything, are you? Do you really mean it? Do you really mean what you just said?"

"Wh-What I said?" The feeling lingered on my finger. "About your chest?"

"Yeah! That it's… uh, sizable?"

I steeled myself to tell her the truth. This stuff was embarrassing to talk about openly, even when we weren't in public and it was just the two of us. "Uh-huh… I never thought there was any kind of issue at all. Seriously, you belittle yourself too much."

A stunned Eri could only continue to gape. I poked her in the head lightly to see if she was still with me on earth.

"Eri… wake up. You're absolutely fine – durff!"

Without warning, she tackled me. One moment she was dumbstruck, the next she had pounced on me. Time seemed to grind to a halt, everything was in slow motion. I could feel my ribcage imploding spectacularly as she hugged me. I also lost my balance, steadily falling backwards. Hang on, wasn't the coffee table right behind me?

…This couldn't be good.

"Neku!" she squealed, super-happy. "Thank you so much! I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

Gravity dealt its cruel hand on me and I felt the rock-hard edge of the coffee table wedge right into my spinal cord as I fell. The pain was excruciating. My… My spine didn't bend that way! It's at a freaking ninety degree angle!

"Neku? Neku! You're foaming at the mouth! Wh-What's the matter? !"

My vision was getting blacker by the second but I had just enough energy to say a few last words.

"A-Are you… an angel?"

"Wha…? ! Neku, wait! Don't die on me! You still owe me a trip to the family restaurant down the street!"

I survived, but spent the next few days completely bedridden, nursing my poor spine. It would be a while before I could straighten it out and the agony would be incredible, but if there's anything good out of this, it's that I had the fortune of being taken care of by Eri. She makes good porridge, by the way.

All things considered, it's not so bad… Ouch.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri's sense of humour was outrageous. The problem? Sometimes it didn't work. I think the next anecdote should suffice nicely to reinforce this fact.

There was this one day when I paid Eri a visit, hoping to spend a little time with her before my afternoon classes began. As usual, she was more than happy to welcome me into her house. My presence always put her in high spirits.

"Make yourself comfortable, okay?" she chirped, nudging me into her bedroom. "I'll get you a drink."

"Are you really okay with me sitting on your bed?"

"It's fine, it's fine! Don't be so rigid."

She came back soon with my cup of tea but apologized that she couldn't entertain me immediately. "I just came back from running some errands so I'm all sweaty. I absolutely have to take a shower, but I wouldn't be long. Just wait for me a bit."

Her bathroom was connected to the bedroom, so I could hear it. Just barely, but I definitely picked it up. The hiss of the shower, the splashes of water… and Eri, singing a silly song to herself as she bathed. These sounds came through faint and muffled, but I heard them, and that's the most important detail here. I was playing a video game on my phone in an attempt to calm myself, but it was to no avail. Inside my head there was an image of her in her birthday suit, soaping herself up in various places. And no matter what I did, I couldn't yank it out of my mind for long enough to concentrate on the game. I kept dying.

The game didn't keep me occupied for long. The bathroom door opened, almost causing me to twist my phone in surprise. She strode in, fresh out of the shower and tousling her hair dry. The towel she was using hid most of her face but I could see her naughty smile as she nudged the door closed with her butt.

She clambered onto the bed and sat ridiculously close to me, until she was touching me with her hip. My whole frame went stiff. At such close proximity I could see everything in meticulous detail. The game I was playing was just camouflage now; peeking discreetly at her body became my secret motive. Nice tube top… a bit smaller than her usual one, but… nice. She looked fantastic. And she smelled good too.

"So what brings you here again, Mr Sakuraba?"

Her question jolted me back to reality. "O-Oh! I was just… I just wanted to see you for a while. But I only got an hour's… well, slightly less than an hour's worth of free time. Gotta head back to college at three."

My hands were still mindlessly jabbing at my phone the whole time. She peered at the screen curiously.

"What game is that?" she asked. "It looks… complicated."

"It's Heroes of Ziodim… arguably the hottest action game on smartphones."

"Can't say I've heard of it." And who could blame her; she wasn't a gamer. "Your character keeps falling into that chasm. Is that normal?"

Unable to focus properly, my thumb was firmly pressed down on the virtual D-pad, sending my hero repeatedly on a suicide mission over the edge of a nearby cliff. I regained my senses in a panic, but by then, my in-game funds had been completely wiped out from the cost of resurrecting him over and over. All of my hard-earned gold… gone except for a few measly slivers. Never play hardcore games when you're distracted. Never!

The crushing feeling of having your hard work go down the drain would have to take a backseat for now. I came here for Eri.

With a goodnatured tone, I said, "You aren't going to pick up gaming anytime soon? It's a good way to pass the time."

"No way. I'm terrible at it. You've seen how badly I got trounced at the arcade the other day."

"Ahaha… Yeah, that's true."

Purely out of my absentmindedness, I unpaused the game and started jabbing mindlessly at the screen of my phone again, doing nothing useful for my character. Eri noticed. Having had enough, she whisked it away from my hands.

"What the – Eri! A-At least let me save! You have no idea how – "

I watched in a blend of disbelief and arousal as she wedged my phone into her tube top, where it nestled deep within her cleavage. All I could make out was the top part of the phone, peeking out like a periscope amidst a sea of flesh. My protests stopped abruptly and my eyes were riveted to that one spot.

Now in an even naughtier mood, she snarled, "Don't you know you should limit your gaming to an hour a day?"

I squawked like a total idiot, "B-But it's not even been ten minutes?"

"No excuses. You want this back?" I could feel the blood seeping out of my nose as she pushed the phone even deeper inside until it vanished from sight. Holy smoke! My cell's being violated! "Then there's something you ought to do fi– "

The unthinkable happened. My phone rang!

Both of us were startled. I jumped. She jumped. Even higher than me too.

"Someone's calling me!" I gulped. "And what's more, it's my aunt… I can tell from the pre-programmed ringtone. Oh god, give it back quick, Eri! Before she raises a – "

"Aaaah…!"

Whuh – what in the world was with that voice? ! Did she just moan like some actress in a porno film? !

"Eri? !"

"I-I'm sorry," she quivered. "Your phone is vibrating in my tube top… I-I-It feels good somehow… I can't…"

My jaw dislocated by itself. "What? !"

Good grief! How did things get so tense in a matter of seconds? Everything was so normal just moments earlier! And now she had a ringing phone stuck in between her breasts giving her shivers of the stimulating kind! No matter how dire the situation, however, any and all calls made by my aunt were to be answered without fail. She's a strict one, to be sure. I learnt my lesson ages ago… It's a long story. But yeah, I needed that phone now.

"Stop messing around, Eri!" I was getting twitchy. "Hurry and give it back!"

She had one hand plunged down her top and rummaging around but was so weak from the phone's constant vibrations that she couldn't find the strength to pull it out.

"Eri!"

"I'm try-try-trying – hyaaah!" That just about broke a few more blood vessels in my nose!

The phone was ringing too long. I could count my aunt's remaining patience in milliseconds. And then… the end would come. But Eri was in quite the bind herself… How was I supposed to solve this dilemma? !

"N-Neku," she stammered, "you do it."

"Huh?"

"I… I can't get it myself – nnh! Y-You'll have to grab – "

"Wh-What? ! Why can't you – "

"Aaangh!"

"O-Okay! I got it! I freaking got it! I'll do it!"

This made me recall a similar incident that Eri and I had been put through in the past (see Part 5). We were scrunched together in the cramped fitting room of a boutique. Her phone started ringing and she needed to answer it, but the space we were cooped up in was too small for even her flexible arms to reach round to her pants pocket where her phone was causing a riot. So she asked me to get it for her. Those pants, by the way, were skin-tight… as in it-almost-feels-like-she's-not-wearing-anything-tight.

And now I had to deal with an equally skin-tight tube top. I had the benefit of past experience, so this should be no problem… yeah, right! I couldn't just dive in and –

Wait a minute… Didn't she say it? That we're lovers now? Shouldn't I be able to help myself to however many servings of Eri as I liked? And if she didn't mind either, what's the harm?

At that precise moment, my imagination went berserk and the word 'serving' took on a whole new meaning altogether. In my head, I saw Eri laid out on a jumbo-sized platter, wearing nothing but lettuce leaves and slathered in lemon dressing. She tore a frighteningly large piece from the leaf that covered her left breast and started nibbling on it. Any larger and I would have seen… something.

"Oh, Neku," she breathed, "your dinner's not going to eat herself. Come on, have a bite already."

Another nosebleed. Please stop, nose! Enough blood had been shed in one day already!

Back to the problem at hand, though. I needed to take that call now. But how? !

Eri looked like she was going into a seizure. "N-Neku," she pleaded, "hey, I'm dying here!"

"I know! But I can't possibly…!"

Her frame gave an especially violent shudder that sent shockwaves rippling through her torso. And that scream was crazy. "Hnnngah!"

Beep.

Huh? Beep? Wait… there's a serious case of déjà vu going on here…

Both of us froze. And then, like a scene from a horror movie… we heard a disembodied voice… coming from her chest.

"Neku? Are you there?"

Oh snap, that's my aunt! Did the call get answered somehow? ! Maybe Eri's boobs squished against the 'answer' button when she jostled just now. How's that make sense? !

"Neku! Can you hear me?"

My reply was hasty and unprepared. "Uh, I… I can hear you, yes!"

During the conversation I tried desperately to sound normal and not at all distracted by the fact that I was forced to talk to my aunt through Eri's top. We couldn't do anything about the phone now. We might end the call accidentally if we started looking for it. But it's like I was talking to her boobs!

"How are your studies coming along?"

"F-Fine! All good! N-Never… been better!"

"That's nice to know. By the way, is there something wrong with the connection? Your voice is too soft. Can you speak up?"

Eri and I swapped weird glances. Then, purely out of necessity, she beckoned me to come closer, which was exactly my plan, except that I stopped when my ear was a hair's breadth away from her bust. Even then, she still urged me to keep going, getting annoyed that I wasn't complying with her instructions. I was close enough already!

"How's this, auntie?"

"Better, but not by much. Can't you do anything about it?"

"I'm sorry, this is the best we got. There's nothing more I can do. So, what's this again about you coming over – "

Without warning, an indescribably soft sensation enveloped my head. Wh-What's this? Such a comfortable feeling… So warm… It's like I was resting on a cloud of cotton candy.

Wait… Eri was hugging my head! Half of my face was lodged in the valley of her chest and I couldn't even break free because her fingers had an iron grip on my scalp. Gah!

At least my aunt could hear me clearer now. Silver linings, you know. "Oh, there we go. Much better. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Your uncle and I are at Odaiba now. Anything you want from there?"

"Nah, I'm good." Oxygen running low…

"Are you sure? If we see the latest volume of Petalchaser Chronicles, would you like us to get it for you? We can drop it off at – "

"It's… okay. Can buy it… here. Myself."

"You seem awfully distracted, Neku. Is something wrong? I'm not calling you at a bad time, am I?"

Yes, you were! "N-No, auntie. I'm… fine. Don't worry too much about me. I'm A-OK! Ha ha ha!"

"What's the matter, Neku? Seriously."

"Um, well…"

Things obviously weren't awkward enough, because she jabbed out of the blue, "You never did tell us much about what goes on outside of your college life. Are you having someone over?"

My heart jumped in tandem with Eri's. "Y-Yeah… w-well, no, more like I'm at that person's place…"

"Visiting a friend? Is it a girl?"

"Wh-What… Why do you ask? !"

She didn't take too kindly to that and scolded me. Ooh, this… was going to take a while.

"Hey, I may not be your mother," she grumbled, "but as your aunt, I still have the right to know about your welfare. Your uncle and I are the ones who brought you up, and you're like our son so I'd be darned if you can't even do something as simple as providing us with details of your life. You don't stay at our home, so frankly, we do get worried. The least you can do is tell us that you're okay! You don't even call us that often these days and that makes us doubly worried. I don't think it'd be that much trouble for you to just talk about yourself as compared to the two of us who have been working hard for your blah blah blah…"

That's my aunt for you. My uncle was mercifully less verbose, but I didn't have the fortune of talking to him this time round.

Please don't forget I was still suffocating within Eri's bosom.

"Auntie, auntie!" I gasped in desperation. "Time out! Okay, I'll tell you, alright? The truth is, it's a girl. Yeah."

All traces of annoyance in my aunt's voice disappeared. She was absolutely ecstatic. She, along with my uncle, had always been going on about how nice it would be for me to get a girlfriend, and while I was glad they were on my side, the questions they blasted me with were incessant if not outright grating. I knew she'd be glad to hear about it. Just the mention of me being in the same room with a girl and she gets completely hyper. I didn't want to find out just yet what would happen if she knew I was already hooked up.

"How close are you two?" And the prodding began…

"R-Real close." In both the literal and figurative sense. "Look, auntie, uh… I kinda got my head… I mean, my hands tied up at the moment."

"Is that so? Then I shan't intrude on you for too long then. Anyway, just know that we're in Odaiba. You need anything, just let us know."

"Cool. You two have fun."

The call ended and when I finally extracted myself free I could breathe again. I took the deepest breath ever. It was a five-minute call and I was trapped in there the whole time! Was that hell or heaven?

Sadly, my nose didn't leave me a lot of time to ponder which it was. While I busied myself plugging it up, Eri redoubled her efforts to pull my phone out, which she eventually did. Both of us survived this ordeal very, very tired.

"Sorry, Neku," she muttered, handing it back to me. "I was just playing around, but I didn't think it'd go out of hand. Um, sorry!"

"Nah, don't worry about it," I sighed. "It's my fault for trying to play the game while chatting with you."

"Oh man, still… my boobs have been all over your phone… Can I ask a stupid question?"

"Hmm?"

"If there are fingerprints and footprints, does this count as a breastprint?"

How should I even start to answer something like this?

"I… I wouldn't know about that, Eri."

"That's your aunt on the phone just now, huh?"

"Yeah." I scratched the back of my neck. "You already know this, but she and my uncle took me in after my parents passed away, so they treat me like their son. Sorry, by the way. She's really long-winded. Once she starts rambling, the only way she'll stop is when she goes to sleep."

Eri laughed. "Wow, she's a great conversationist, then."

"She's stern, too. She can feel like a real dictator at times. If I so much as annoy her a little, I can say goodbye to all of my free time that day."

"I feel that she's a nice person, though… I'm sure she'll be delighted to know we're going out. You should've just told her right off the bat instead of being so shy." The last word she uttered with a purposely big smile.

"Uh, hello? I told you… Auntie is long-winded? She wouldn't let me go if I told her. I'd have to shoot her with a tranquiliser to get some peace of mind."

More laughter from Eri was followed by a light slap on my arm. "I gotta admit, I'd love to see that."

"Heh. Actually, so do I."

Eri went silent for a spell, looking like she had something on her mind. Very softly she muttered, "I wonder if your foster parents would like me. I'm not quite the girl next door they might be looking for, so…"

She's getting unsure of herself again… I clutched her hands affectionately, saying, "Don't worry. They're not that old-fashioned. All they want for me is a girl whom I can love and love me back. That's all there is to it. Since you fit the bill, they'll like you for sure!"

"Hee hee… I hope so."

"By the way, you said you wanted me to do something? That's why you took away my phone in the first place."

"Ah, that's right! I… um…" She bashfully twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "I just wanted us to kiss. We don't have a lot of time, so really, that's all I wanted. Eheh!"

"That's all? You could've told me from the start instead of dancing around riddles."

"But it's more fun that way…"

"Hmmm. True that. Well, I don't like unfinished business lying around, and we have approximately half an hour left, so… what would you like to do with me?"

She chuckled some more.

"Lots."

XOXOXOXOXO

Alright, I gotta finish up for today. Hopefully that gave you a glimpse of what our relationship was like. If I were to condense its essence and sum it all up in one word? Crazy. That'd be the word. But then you'd have guessed that by now.

Every day's an adventure. I got to see or do something new all the time. The future would have even more fun for us, I could foresee. All I needed to do was to survive each nosebleed as they came along! Simple, right?

"Neku! Wait!"

"Wh-What is it, Eri? I'm kinda busy with this assignment…"

She hobbled to my side, half-naked and looking rather distressed. "I'm about to take a bath, but the clasp on my bra is stuck! C-Could you help undo it?"

"Huh? ! Me? !"

As I reeled in shock, she spun round to show me her luscious back and pointed towards the offending thing. "See? I've been trying to open it, but it's been five minutes and no dice. Help a girl out?"

"Wh-Why can't… Aren't you girls supposed to be pros at taking off your own underwear?"

"Please, Neku! It'll be easier if you do it! You just need to – "

Suddenly, the clasp broke by itself. With a loud snap, it burst open. Now, I didn't know how this was even possible, but… it was in a bad state to begin with. Well, it must have been an old bra past its expiry date (if bras have expiry dates), just waiting to spoil and disintegrate.

Now topless, Eri groaned and held up her ruined bra with a look of exasperation on her face. "Aww, that was one of my favourites. They don't sell this model anymore. What am I going to do with a pair of panties that I can't match anything with?"

I spilt blood all over my laptop.

Survive each nosebleed, I said… Yeah, thought so. Easier said than done.

...

Author's note: Sorry I took so long to release this. The first draft looked fine, but after reading through it there were some parts I wasn't satisfied with so I had to rewrite those. Took a good while. I had to make several edits for this chapter, but I'm glad I did because now it reads alright to me.

Also, I drew a new cover image to celebrate Neku and Eri becoming a couple, so that's sort of a mini update, I guess... The image should be up by the time you read this. Anyway, that's all I gotta say for now; I'll see you in Chapter 31. Bye!