She Comes And Goes As She Pleases

by BrDPirateMan

Neku's life turns upside-down when he falls in love with Eri, the most eccentric girl in Shibuya. He's an everydude with a knack for deadpan snarking. And she's the flirty wisecracker who loves using her sex appeal to tease him 24/7. Odd couple? You bet. Get ready for a fun and sexy romantic comedy where their growing relationship is proof that opposites DO attract! [Ecchi content]

32. To Become A Better Boyfriend, Part 1

She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 32)
by BrDPirateMan

"Neku, Neku, look at this!"

Eri excitedly waved her cell phone in my face. I peered closer at the screen and found an advertisement which I read out loud.

"'Winter Indie Music Festival 20XX… Feast your ears on the biggest blowout event to cap off a stellar year! Featuring the hottest stars from the indie music industry: Masahito Iwaizumi, 3Team, Ryoko*L and more!'"

I skimmed the rest of the ad and gave her my thoughts.

"So there's that special concert thing they hold around the end of every year… And this time, it's gone indie."

"I love what's going on over in the indie scene!" she gushed. "I'm an especially big fan of Ryoko*L!"

"Your doppelganger is performing too, huh?" Ryoko*L, the famous singer, bore an uncanny resemblance to my girlfriend, you see.

"Heck yes! It's real cool to be mistaken for her. But that aside, I really want to hear her sing. She's got that carefree soulful attitude that really reaches out to you when she sings, and it's awesome! I have got to attend this event!"

"Then why don't we go together? I've been meaning to check out the Concrete Guys myself."

"Exactly what I was thinking!" she squealed. "Let's do that!"

And so we were set for another date. The concert would be held on a Saturday two weeks from now, and I was both excited and apprehensive. So far, the things I'd done with her on dates included having lunch or going to the movies or cooking together, but nothing so adventurous as taking her to a bustling concert. Actually, this would be the first time I'd ever attended one! I wondered how it'd be like.

That afternoon when I was at WildKat for a bowl of pumpkin soup, Kariya became my chatting partner. Mr H was too busy to entertain me, and Uzuki wasn't around. My newfound status as a guy in an official relationship inflated my ego to pufferfish levels and drove me to boast about the good times I was sharing with Eri.

"We've been getting along real well," I said proudly. "Almost feels like a dream."

Kariya nodded his way politely through my incessant chatter.

"And now, we're going to a concert! Things have been getting better and better. The harsh times of being single are over. I feel like I can tackle anything now!"

A chuckle hummed in his throat. He nudged his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"The fallacies of youth," he began dreamily. "How quaint."

"Huh?"

"Heh heh…" He wagged his finger like a fussy schoolteacher. "Phones, you're too naïve to think that everything will be fine and dandy once you've crossed the finish line. Getting the girl is half the battle. The other half is being able to keep her!"

I was getting confused. Very cautiously I prodded him. "I… But I'm her boyfriend…"

"You're on the right track, but you need to put in even more effort!" He placed a hand on my shoulder in a brotherly manner. "Listen, romance is a cruel, competitive world. It doesn't mean you're safe just because Eri's your girlfriend. If another guy comes around who's cooler than you, her eyes may wander…"

I didn't even want to entertain the possibility. How could this even happen? Kariya ate the full brunt of my disbelief.

"Eri won't do such a thing!" I protested, quite taken aback. "She loves me the most out of everyone."

"If that's the truth, well and good. But just bear with me for the time being. Tell me… do you have a part-time job?"

"Uh, no…"

"What about her?"

"Yeah, Eri's working as…" I stopped myself before I could blurt out her secret. "…she's got a job, yes."

Sip, sip, sip he went with the latte. Then he said, "And you don't. Bit odd, don't you think? The girl can make some money on her own, but the guy doesn't do anything. You can't very well keep relying on your family to cough up dough for you to spend. You've got to show some initiative and make that cash yourself!"

His words stung but I couldn't argue. The truth was plain and simple: Eri had work, I didn't. She was making good yen and having fun at it. On the other hand, taking up a part-time job never occurred to me. Underneath my orange hairdo, was I actually a lazy bum?

"And I'm not trying to be mean," he continued, "but have you looked at yourself in the mirror and seen how thin you are? Sorry, I know I'm saying some things that are hard to swallow, but as her boyfriend, you ought to make yourself a little more presentable. Shallow as it may sound, I know I won't like to be paired up with someone who doesn't even bother to look good!"

That's another point there. Eri took pains to maintain her svelte figure. It's not fair if I didn't do the same. Would it look right if a hot girl like her was holding hands with a toothpick like me?

Suddenly I felt very inferior, but Kariya wasn't done yet. He dropped the final bomb on me.

"If you don't keep improving yourself," he said grimly, "sooner or later someone better than you is going to come along and take her away from under your nose! And she'll gladly leave you, once she realizes she's been working hard for someone who wouldn't even lift a finger!"

I never thought about it that way. Well, it's not like I was planning to be lazy and do nothing, but now I saw just how lacking as a person I really was. It's almost like… I still didn't deserve to have Eri. Today's meeting with Kariya was an eye-opener.

"Heck," he continued, "you keep this up and maybe even I might have a chance with her."

"I-Is that something you should be saying to a friend? !"

"I'm just giving you food for thought, Phones. Relax, I'm not going to go after her cute little behind, I promise. But that's as real a scenario as it can get!"

"Cute little – never mind. What is it I need to do?" I felt quite lost.

"There's still hope for you, Phones. But I'm not you, so I don't know what your weaknesses are. You've got to sit down and do some thinking. Ask yourself some tough questions and be honest. What could you do better about yourself? Could you find a part-time job? Could you build yourself up and look more buff? In what ways could you make yourself smarter and sharper?

"Oh, regarding appearance though," he added, "I'm not telling you to go for a nip and tuck down at the local plastic surgeon's. And I'm not saying you should get all bulked up like some Arnold Schwarzenegger wannabe… I'm just saying you should try to look nicer for Eri. She already likes you, so if she sees you're making an effort to look more attractive, even if only a little, then she'll really appreciate it."

Why not? Which girl wouldn't like a few more muscles in a guy?

"Alright," I said quietly, "I got your drift, Kariya. I can't be complacent, is what you're saying. I gotta remain on a competitive level with all the potentially better guys out there."

"Damn straight. You're thick in the middle of a jungle, and you've got to strive to be king!"

"I-I'll give it some thought."

Eri's mine. I couldn't afford to lose her to someone else whom I couldn't compare to. How would this affect my life from here on out? I didn't know and it made me worried thinking about it. Time to buckle down and get my figurative makeover on.

"By the way," I pointed out, "you're pretty knowledgeable about this."

"But of course!" He puffed his chest out and looked very proud of himself. If he had one of those springy handlebar moustaches he'd be twiddling it in his fingers now. "I may not look like it, but I've had several girlfriends in the past. I was totally popular!"

"R-Really?" Kariya, the Casanova? This was news to me.

A third, female voice cut in just as he was about to really start showing off. "In the virtual world, yes. Total chick magnet."

The rudely surprised Kariya whipped round to face the gatecrasher to our conversation and gave a defeated sigh. "Oh fine, give a guy a cold shower. No, seriously, Uzuki, did you have to reveal my secret? That's not cool."

Seeing that I was confused, she sought to enlighten me, totally ignoring him.

"He's been single all his life. Never once had a girlfriend. But if you're talking about the ones from his numerous dating sims, then yeah, he's got too many to count."

"Now that's just mean," he laughed. "You keep looking down on these games, but you have no idea how difficult they can be. For example, can you believe how hard it is to approach Momoka? I have to see her during lunchtime for four consecutive days, giving her a different gift each day, and then on the fifth day I need to give her the elusive [Expensive Bouquet] but my character stats have to be pretty much maxed out before then or else she wouldn't even give a hoot about me!"

"They're just bloody scripted events, idiot!"

I gaped at Kariya as he admitted the truth, "You guys got me. I did have girlfriends… They're just the ones from my dating sims… but! Momoka is really great once you max out her friendship level – ow!"

His head became the unwilling recipient of a half-hearted karate chop from Uzuki. "You harp on about working hard but you're too lazy to even iron your clothes among other simple things."

"Wrinkled is in, woman. Don't you dare diss – oof!"

Another chop. By now it was clear that he had been giving me advice that he didn't even bother to follow himself. Have you ever shelled out money to watch a movie, or buy a video game, or have lunch at that spanking new family restaurant down the street, only to be utterly and totally disappointed? That's what I felt now. Like I had been ripped off.

"Kariya, what the heck… Did you just tell me a load of bull?"

"No, I didn't. It's perfectly applicable in real life! Phones, I just don't want you to experience the heartbreak of losing your girl to another guy. That's why I told you to keep improving yourself. Trust me… You don't want to go through what I felt when Narumi got stolen by my rival just because I didn't level up my charisma enough. It's a crushing feeling that won't quit for days!"

Uzuki buried her face in one hand. "Just shut up already."

I tried to filter out the obvious gaming nonsense to see whatever pearls of wisdom may be lying beneath the surface. What I saw could be used by anyone, really, so it was valid. It was up to me to do my best so Eri wouldn't think I was some slacker with neither drive nor ambition.

Yup… Gotta work hard!

But before I could thank him, he was dragged off by the collar by his impatient friend. "Come on. We have work."

"Five more minutes, Uzuki!" he pleaded. "I need to enjoy my latte a little longer. Um, please?"

"You can always buy another one later. Now stop struggling and let's go."

"But they cost 980 yen now… The price went up – ow! Quit pulling! I can walk just fine!"

Kariya didn't get a lot of breaks, did he?

XOXOXOXOXO

I went to the canteen at college to brainstorm about my self-improvement plan. As far as I could tell, there were a lot of things I needed to fix about myself and it was hard to get started, but I eventually got the ball rolling.

So, right off the bat… I was unemployed. It would be nice if I could fatten up my wallet a little. The allowance I received from my aunt and uncle showed no signs of increasing, and while it had allowed me to live comfortably so far, some extra pocket money would be welcome. Eri wasn't a particularly high-maintenance girlfriend (she's surprisingly down-to-earth if you can look past her spending habits), but I could feel the pinches in my cash stash already. Dating wasn't free.

Better go look in the classified ads afterwards. Until then…

…I had bodily appearance to worry about. How should I best describe my face? You could say I was neither ugly nor handsome. But Eri's fine with it the way it was, so that's that. The real issue here was that I was as thin as a scarecrow. Maybe she hardly minded, but I was sure she'd love it if I was a little more muscular.

My eating habits were relatively normal and balanced, but my stick figure skinniness could be attributed to an absurdly high metabolic rate; I simply digest food too fast for it to feed my muscle mass. I also didn't exercise. Gym? What gym? Never even set foot in there once. About time I did.

There's probably a few more faults I had to rectify here and there, but that's all I could think of at the moment. For now I had to immediately address the two most glaring deficiencies on my list: money and fitness. Compared to the latter, money was a more pressing matter. I decided to do something about finance first.

If I was going to work under someone, it'd be preferable to have a nice boss. It sounds like I was asking a lot, and it probably was, but I had heard lots of horror stories about part-timers being given a hard time by harsh, unreasonable employers. I didn't want to add to the stress I already got from coursework and my other responsibilities. That's why my thoughts turned to WildKat. Mr H was a great fellow if you didn't call him old (the truth hurts), so here's hoping I could get a job with him as a chef's assistant, since I was confident with my cooking.

Without wasting a second more, I dialed Mr H and asked him, "Do you have any job vacancies?"

He nursed an extended "hmmm" in his throat, and I could imagine him scratching his stubbly chin. Why did it take him so long to give me an answer? I had a bad feeling about this… Please! Give me a chance!

"At the moment," came his reply, "I'm afraid I'm not hiring anyone. Sorry."

My heart sank. I'd love to work with him… He must treat his employees well, even if he's bad at remembering names. I might even learn a few useful things along the way. With other employers who didn't bother with the niceties, I wasn't sure I could reap the same benefits.

"Oh, uh… I see… Thanks anyway, Mr H."

"What's the great rush? You strapped for cash?"

"No, not exactly. But I've got a girlfriend now, so I need more moolah."

"You sound like you've got some big plans up your sleeve."

Not only was Mr H trustworthy, he was also an excellent listener. If something's bothering you and you needed to lighten the load, he's one guy you could turn to. Why else did I seek advice from him multiple times in the past? I felt that I should give him the whole story.

"Well, actually…"

It took me a few minutes to explain my situation.

"So," he said at last, "that's what Lollipop Boy said, huh?"

"Yeah. Even though he gleaned it all from his video games, I think his advice is not completely stupid, so I'm gonna put it to practice and see how it holds up. It can't be that bad."

I thought he would agree more enthusiastically and send some words of encouragement my way, but his reaction was unexpectedly muted. "That's a good plan and all, but don't overexert yourself. If you do too many things in one go, it wouldn't really be a balanced lifestyle anymore."

"I'll be fine! It's something I need to do to strengthen my relationship with Eri. There'll be hurdles along the way. I just need to learn to adapt and deal with them!"

"Your attitude is in the right direction, Phones, but you still shouldn't overdo it."

"Even if you say that, I can't just sit back and do nothing… I need to earn a comfortable amount of money, make myself look better, and other stuff. I've got my work cut out for me, not that I'm complaining. Anything for better security."

I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, but it was filled with kindness, not mockery.

"Phones, listen. You don't need to be rich and strong to protect your loved ones."

I scratched my head. "What does that mean? You need money to maintain the relationship, and you ought to beef up a bit to look good, right? You can't say you don't need them. They're practically essential in a world like today's."

He simply laughed. "You'll get it in time, son."

Never mind about that. Gotta look around for alternative options. Since I was in the area, I felt that the next best thing would be to ask around and see if anyone was hiring. As luck would have it, no one was interested in me. The ways in which they refused me were varied as they colourful. I'll share with you some prime examples:

"Hire you? Sorry, money's tight this month… You know how it's like, spending too much on lottery tickets and such. Ha ha ha!" …Then stop spending already.

"Where are your credentials? Show them to me. …You got none? Then git." I don't think you need qualifications to do part-time work…

"Sure, you can work in my restaurant. But first you must bring me five cartons of eggs, ten whole chickens, one kilogram of ginger, nine bundles of scallions, three boxes of soda, thirty packets of – " What the heck was this, a fetch quest in an RPG? !

"I only accept sweet, succulent boys. Come back when you're juicier." Creepy old cannibal lady alert! Good thing I hadn't started on fitness yet…

"Oi, don't expect to just barge in here and think you can have your way. If you're not already earning 600,000 yen a month, then forget it!"

In response to that I fumed, "I'm not here to marry your daughter!"

The economy's bad as it was, so people were less willing to rope in new help. I was prepared for rejection, but it still felt like a slap to the face whenever I was turned down. However, as bleak as my chances were, I told myself not to give up. I remembered Kariya's words to reinvigorate my spirits. This was no time to surrender. Self-sacrifice was a common aspect of relationships. Over the course of your life you gradually acquire a state of comfort, but to acquire better privileges you have to do away with some of the things you have come to enjoy, like free time in my case. Less time for myself, more happiness for the two of us. It's a fair trade-off.

It took a long time of searching and many more rejections before I found a ramen shack that was willing to take me in. Tucked away in a corner of Udagawa, it was a rickety, barely noticeable family restaurant that had seen better days. Maintenance was either kept at a minimum or downright neglected, and it showed. The paint on the walls was grimy and peeling, the air-conditioning thundered till I was deaf, and the plants they grew for indoor decoration were mostly yellowed and dead. The shop owner was grumpy too. Maybe all these factors combined was the reason there were so few customers. Or it could be the food. The place gave off the feeling that anyone in their right mind would be better off going somewhere else to have lunch. But hey, they hired me. It's a start.

They offered me 1500 yen for each shift – from 6 to 9 pm – and I was to work on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. That's a total of 4500 yen that I could make in a typical week. This kind of pay was peanuts, and it probably wasn't worth the trouble, but I was afraid I couldn't get another job offer elsewhere if I chose not to take this. I just told myself to grin and bear it until I found greener grass.

The shop owner was a middle-aged man with the temperament of a vat of boiling acid. He's exactly the type of employer I'd rather not deal with, but beggars can't be choosers. Even though I introduced myself properly to him, he never bothered with my name, instead calling me…

"Boy," he barked, "I'm gonna tell you what you need to know, but don't expect me to repeat it for you."

Making a nice first impression, sir! Please excuse the spoken-behind-the-back sarcasm.

"You're basically on waiter duty. Your job is to take the customers' orders and serve them their food. Clearing and cleaning the tables is also your job. Plus doing the dishes."

"Sure, I can do that."

"And don't think of slacking off. We may not look like much but we're still a legitimate business, so we've got to work hard. I won't tolerate a lot of mistakes either, so don't become one big screw-up in the making."

I gulped at the thought of being kept on a tight leash from now on. Sir Grouch wasn't going to ease up on me, I knew that for a fact.

Since today was Tuesday, my shift would start tomorrow. Finally I was gainfully employed! I scrambled to tell Eri the good news.

"Ooh, bully for you, Neku!" She sounded delighted over the phone. "That makes two of us! Except you don't cross-dress like I do."

"It's an ordinary restaurant, nothing flashy or gimmicky. But I'm getting paid at least; that's what matters. 1500 yen a night isn't a lot but hey, it's better than nothing… for now. By the way, Eri… How much does Tea & Orange pay you? Just asking."

"I get 12000 yen per shift."

"Wh-What? That's a lot more than mine!" In one night she made more than double of what I could in a week! Tea & Orange really paid their employees well. Butler cafés were something else…

"Yeah, well, we're a specialized establishment that caters to a niche audience, so our services are expensive. We net better pay, but things can get really demanding on our end. You have no idea how much our female customers can ask for! Some even wanted to be my wife and were willing to pay for it."

"Sounds like a rollercoaster ride masquerading as Shibuya's sexiest gentleman. Try not to get jumped, Eri."

She laughed. "I'll be fine. I love my job. Good luck on yours! And congrats again! Oh, I got to meet up with some friends. Catch you later, 'kay?"

Awesome. Not only was she happy for me, I've also got her support! That's great incentive! Nothing could get in my way, right?

…Right?

XOXOXOXOXO

Wednesday night. I started work today, but…

"What're you doing, boy? That's not how you bow to the customers! You look like a chicken pecking at the ground."

"Move faster, boy! Can't you see everyone's waiting?"

"No, no, no! You don't fill glasses to the brim! How do you expect to hold it without spilling anything? !"

My lack of work experience gave me problems right from the outset. I'd never worked before – period – so there were a lot of things I didn't know. I mean, we're all newbies once, but it's a bit discouraging when you keep messing up and your boss isn't the forgiving type.

"Here's your order," I said to one customer, "of shoyu ramen."

"Uh… I didn't order that."

I broke out into a cold sweat, realizing that I had just brought the wrong dish. Mistakes like this were fairly common in eateries, but later when the mix-up was settled and I returned to the kitchen, Sir Grumpy was waiting for me.

"I told you the shoyu ramen goes to the gentleman with spectacles! What's your problem, boy? !"

"B-But there are at least two guys like that…"

He chided me so strongly I winced from his sharp words. "Dammit, you have to at least remember who ordered what! Didn't I tell you not to be so useless? !"

Needless to say, it was a rough night with many blunders to my credit. By the end of the shift I was completely knackered and more than ready to go home.

"Here," said my boss, handing me my salary. "See you tomorrow night, boy."

"Th-Thank you, sir."

While I was working I didn't think I'd be able to survive the night, but somehow a miracle happened and I did. Now I had money that I made with my own two hands. Even though it was a paltry amount, I still felt a sense of achievement I had never felt before. Supposing that salary was five or six hundred yen higher and my boss a little nicer, this would be just fine. But I guess I couldn't complain.

In fact, I could probably get used to this. "Probably" being the affirmative word.

Now I could put my financial worries out of the way for a while. So the next thing I had to look into was fitness, or my lack thereof.

XOXOXOXOXO

Back in high school, I used to be one of the best pitchers on the school's baseball team. My throwing arm had power and accuracy to match, and my tricky curve shots were the source of many a player's woes. I was a demon out on the diamond.

Unfortunately, I broke my arm, and although it healed up nicely, it's never been the same ever since. I could still throw things and hit my mark, but only over considerably shorter distances. Any further than that, and my performance could see a noticeable dip, which became a problem real fast on the field. Nothing I threw ended up where I wanted it to go, and my strength simply wasn't up to par. No matter how hard I practiced to get myself back in shape, it was to no avail and I eventually dropped out of the team. My pitcher career was over. These days, I fare better tossing wads of paper into the wastepaper basket.

You're probably wondering by now how baseball had anything to do with my fitness issue. Well, when I quit, I didn't join any other sports clubs and exercised so little – close to nothing, in fact – that my stamina and overall hardiness took a massive plunge. As a baseball player I could run quite a bit with no problems. Now I couldn't walk around the city for too long without tiring out. This was something I had to change if I was going to keep up with Eri on her many lengthy shopping adventures.

The next day, I looked up the neighbourhood gym, hoping to gain some muscle and leverage over potential rivals in what I thought was the ever-present competition for Eri's attention. On hindsight, she felt so strongly for me that there was probably never any danger of her swaying towards another guy, but Kariya's warnings that she might had made me paranoid. Fear was a powerful driving force.

I went to work right away, starting with the weights, and amazingly…

…I understood just how far I'd fallen. Right from the beginning I never had an amazing physique to speak of, but I distinctly remember being much stronger. My arm was trembling as I tried to lift the lightest dumbbell, which by the way clocked in at a mere 1.25 kg.

The trainer who attended to me said encouragingly, "Try to do ten reps with that."

"It's hard… I thought this was the lightest one."

"It is, but you've got to start somewhere!"

"Is it okay if I start like this instead?"

I slipped the weighted discs off the dumbbell, leaving me with just the handle. Even it had some heft to it but it was more manageable this way. The trainer was flabbergasted at my utter lack of upper body strength.

"Uh…"

"Sorry," I said, feeling bashful. "That's my limit for now."

I must have looked like a clown pumping iron with a dinky metal bar and sheepishly asked if there were any lighter discs I could attach to it. There were none.

Before I resumed my suffering, we were interrupted by the presence of another person.

"Working hard, are you?" he said majestically. "Ha ha ha! That's the Phones I want to see!"

His sudden appearance caught me by surprise and caused me to let go of the handle and it narrowly missed my foot as it fell. I nearly went overboard being surprised.

"Don't do that, Kariya!" I yelped. "It's not safe to do jump scares on someone who's using weights! What if it dropped on my foot? I could break it!"

"Eh, I wouldn't worry. You can't break the handle just from that."

"It's my foot we're talking about!"

"Ha ha! Take a joke, will you? Though I'm sure even if you did break it, you'll do just fine. If you broke your arm once then you could do it with your foot. It's like riding a bike."

"Kariya… Your morbid sense of humour has left me quite disturbed."

Kariya relieved the trainer of his duty and took it upon himself to become my personal coach. He revealed that he actually worked out regularly, albeit on a light easygoing regimen, so he knew what he was doing. However, I couldn't shake off the feeling that his offer to help me out was dubious to a fault.

"What's in it for you?" I quizzed. "You're not plotting my downfall, are you?"

He feigned shock, slapping his hand over his heart dramatically. "Phones, after all the good things I've done for you, is it so hard to believe that I'm willing to help a friend in need?"

"I don't distrust you at all, it's just… if you're planning to give me a hand, then stop winking at the girls."

"But those chicks over by the treadmills are my type…" He wrapped an arm around my shoulder like we were brothers and nodded pointedly towards them. "What about you, Phones? Which one of them turns you on? I bet it's the one with the red track suit since she looks like Eri."

I peered surreptitiously at her face and found myself mumbling, "She does look like her, kinda… although the nose is a bit – hey, wait a minute! We're supposed to be exercising!"

"Now, now… A few minutes of people-watching isn't gonna kill you. Besides, if you see an attractive woman, wouldn't you want to at least take a second glance? The drive to reproduce is imprinted in all of us, after all!"

"The heck are you going on about? ! I don't need – "

The key phrase 'drive to reproduce' suddenly stirred up weird feelings inside my gut and a fond memory to boot.

"I want you to give me my first night," breathed Eri the other day, "and, well, all the other nights after that."

"Like I said," I stammered, "I don't need that right this moment. I'm here to lift weights, for goodness' sake!"

"Dude, you've got a nosebleed… Are you that hopeless?"

"C-Can it…"

And so Kariya spent the next hour teaching me the path to becoming a man. Warm-ups were followed by dumbbells and then sitting down with one of those Frankenstein torture racks (also known as multigyms). Even though I was startlingly poor at everything he threw at me, he was kind enough to understand that I was just a beginner and that one shouldn't expect too much out of me yet. Whenever I faltered, he let me rest and never once did he laugh at me. He's a good person. If he wasn't such a lazy bum maybe Uzuki could actually take a break from breathing down his neck the whole damn time.

However, even he had to point out that I was faltering too much. "Phones, this is the sixth break you've taken and it's not even twenty minutes yet! You can't make much progress like this…"

"I know," I panted, stretching my hurting arms, "but I really am crazy weak, it seems!"

"That negative mindset will get you nowhere. But fear not. This is where positive affirmations can make a difference."

"'Positive affirmations'? What, you mean like saying to yourself how you can do anything and that nothing can stop you?"

"No, even better! Just imagine… Humour me just this once, okay? If Eri saw you all nice and sturdy, how would she behave around you? I'd be hard-pressed to think she can keep her hands off of you for two seconds!" His voice dropped to a whisper, one of devilish joy. "Sounds tantalizing, doesn't it?"

Hmmm… She would see me in a different light. Maybe like this…

"Shaping up pretty well, aren't you, Neku!" she might say. "I absolutely adore these biceps of yours. Can I touch them? Feel them a bit? …Eee! You're hot! You're a smoking piece of firewood, yessiree! Light-years better than all of the other guys out there… Say, Neku, why don't we dispense with all the waiting and tie the knot already? I don't think we need to wait any longer."

I straightened out of my tired slump in an instant and every muscle in my body was completely refreshed and free from pain.

"Kariya, I can keep going for another six hours."

"No one works out for half that long," he laughed. "But wow, I didn't think it'd be that effective. Well then, if you're up for it, then let's not dawdle any longer!"

Whenever I felt like slacking off, Eri would pop up in my head slathering me with words of encouragement and promises of better things for us in the near future. Believe it or not, she kept me going for the one hour I was in the gym, and I took fewer long breaks than I thought I would take. I ended my training exhausted and I could really use a shower, but the sense of accomplishment was very real and very rewarding.

"You did well," the imaginary Eri beamed. "Rest up. You earned it."

"Don't worry about me," I panted in between heavy breaths. "You wouldn't be disappointed. Just you wait… I'll be so ripped you wouldn't believe your eyes!"

Kariya knitted his brows. "Phones… Who are you talking to? Good work, by the way."

Time to leave. Before we parted ways, he had one last thing to say.

"Listen, Phones, I can't coach you on a regular basis because of my day job, so you're on your own from now on. You've got the basic idea of a weightlifting regimen, so all you need to do is to stick to it and build upon it when you feel like you're up to the challenge."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Oh goodness, my arms are killing me. Nothing I can't handle though! I'll just come back here again tomorrow and – "

"Uh, no. Actually, don't."

"Huh? Why?"

"That was your first time in the gym… Looks like it took a huge toll on you. I suggest giving it a rest for at least a day until your muscles don't ache anymore. You'll do more harm than good if you keep going like this. Take a day off. You need it, trust me."

"If you say so. Thanks again, man."

He heartily waved off my gratitude, telling me not to mind. "Buy me a double espresso and we're even."

Whew! What a day. To say that I was totally drained was an understatement. All I could think of was to go home and sleep. I didn't want to do anything. Every part of my body was telling me in a unanimous voice, "Get rest." The evening was rolling in, so I decided I might as well call it a night. A quick shower and a cup of instant noodles and I was ready to hit the sack.

My thoughts lingered on all the progress I had been making as of late, and came to realize that all this would not have happened if it weren't for the people around me. Of course I was grateful to Eri and Mr H and even the ever-abrasive Uzuki to veer me onto the right path in life – indirectly or otherwise with a poke in the forehead – but I had to give Kariya special credit for not only giving me the wake-up call I needed to become a more decent person, but also actively supporting me during my time in the gym. He wasn't a professional trainer and he wasn't paid to do what he did so he didn't need to. But he did anyway. Was this what they called comradeship?

I'd be sure to return the favour someday. Many thanks, Lollipop!

I felt great about myself and looked forward to a good night's rest. But just as I was nicely settled in bed and my eyelids were starting to droop, I happened to glance towards the wall clock, which read 5.45 pm. It's not the right time for sleep but I guess you could call it a very long nap. Nothing particularly wrong with that, mind you, it's just –

"AAAAHH!"

I sprang out of bed, completely awake. That was me who screamed, by the way. Not the neighbours.

"I forgot about my shift!" I yelped. "Holy crud! I've got barely fifteen minutes before I'm late!"

It's amazing what the human body is capable of in dire times. I would normally need thirty minutes to walk to my workplace, but the adrenaline in my body pumped so hard I practically flew down the streets, and what do you know, I was just in time when I arrived, give or take a few moments. Close shave at any rate.

"Second day on the job," grumbled the shop owner ever so sunnily, "and you're already cutting it close. Get your act together, boy."

Taking a flight like that when I was already so tired couldn't be good for my system, and I had three hours' worth of work to do on top of that! And the worst part was, this suffering was wrought by my own hands. If I hadn't forgotten about my shift I'd be better prepared for the night. Well, rather, if I had taken it easy at the gym instead of going gung-ho, then things would have turned out favourably. What was this, Black Friday? ! Oh wait, it's Thursday…

I could scarcely talk because of my ridiculous panting. It took every ounce of effort to force the words out. "Terribly… sorry… sir. Actually, I was – "

But my boss couldn't care less. Without hearing me out, he snapped, "Forget it. Least you're not late, that's all that matters. Now get dressed and do the dishes."

"Got it… sir…"

I could barely lift my arms and now I had to help out with cleaning a mountain of dishes in the kitchen. Just my luck. Was this the part where I would be told to pace myself? But I thought it was because I hadn't gotten into the swing of things that I was so unorganized. Everything would sort itself out in time as long as I could rework my biological clock. Then even the most physically demanding activities would be a cakewalk.

The road ahead would be a tough, rocky one. The challenges would be both many and relentless.

"Faster, boy!" scolded my boss. "We need them clean… and now!"

And the dishes would keep piling up together with my trials.

XOXOXOXOXO

Yesterday's fatigue left me so drained that I decided to skip my morning classes altogether to give myself a breather at home. I went for the two-hour late afternoon lecture instead, thinking that I wouldn't need to do so much catching up afterwards if I did.

However, even though you don't miss out on everything, you could still miss out on a lot. And I did. It turned out to be the figurative party I should have attended.

During the short break in the middle of the lecture, I asked my classmates. "We've got a report to write up by next Monday," they revealed, "and then we need to get into groups of three to do this one project… That means another shorter report and a ten-minute presentation in front of the class on Thursday on top of that. Next Friday we got a test too, and…"

I started to panic at the thought of having to bury myself in coursework when I already had less free time to myself from my other commitments. "Whoa, hold up! What's with the sudden increase in workload?"

"'Tis the season for assignments, dude. Our senpais tell us that the lecturers always pile on the work just before the Christmas break."

Oh boy. I thought my part-time job and my gym regimen were enough to keep me occupied. But I was a fool to forget to take my college life into account. Now my schedule was even more packed and the deadlines were a little too close for comfort.

Fine. I'd find a way, no problem. I always did. Worse scenarios have played out and I survived them. Hmph… Homework? That, I could handle!

"Oh, right!" I said. "About that group project! Anyone wanna partner up with me?"

Everyone shook their heads sympathetically. "Sorry, Neku… We already formed our groups this morning!"

Wh-What? ! Dammit, that's all the more reason that I should have gone to college! I didn't know everyone in class, so it's going to be super hard to get myself into a group I was comfortable with. How I wanted to kick myself!

"Th-There has to be someone still looking around for group members! Do you know any takers?"

They exchanged glances at each other, hesitating and giving off a general feeling of uncertainty, as though they had something to tell me but weren't sure whether it was a good idea.

Voicing everyone's thoughts on their behalf, one classmate spoke up very reluctantly, "There's no one else as far as we can tell, except…"

So there was hope after all! I would have liked it better if I was paired up with Sato or Nimura or Yukari; I've worked with them before on earlier projects and they were reliable people who have yet to let me down. But they weren't up for grabs anymore so I had to take what I had for now. I just hoped I wouldn't regret it.

"Who?" I pressed.

Someone jerked a thumb towards a couple of classmates who were lazily perched around the back of the classroom. One was a fellow with baggy clothes and an equally saggy posture, twiddling with his phone. He wore the look of a person who couldn't be bothered with the world as long as he could chill in peace. Must be one of those emo guys. The other one was a girl with frizzy long hair – a fashionable sort much like Eri – talking endlessly on the phone with who I could only imagine was her boyfriend, judging from the cringe-inducing sweet nothings that came out of her mouth.

They didn't make a very promising first impression of themselves. Were these the only ones left? Was there no second opinion?

I swallowed my pride and approached them, hoping that they might actually be wunderkinds in disguise. Lots of geniuses tended to border on the less-than-normal side, right? They took notice of me as I went over. The guy swiped droopy eyes at me, while the girl was just finishing up with her phone call.

"Um, excuse me," I said, "have you guys found a group for our class project yet?"

"No, we haven't," the girl replied. "What's up?"

"My name is Neku Sakuraba and I haven't had any luck finding anyone to form a group with. Uh… you two wanna get together with me?"

The girl, obviously a ditz and not the lovable kind, fiddled with her curly locks. "Huh? I already have a boyfriend…"

With a yawn, the guy added, "Forget it, dude. I don't swing that way."

Their inappropriate responses left me exasperated. I prayed that they were just very good at deadpan humour. But seriously, that's hardly the kind of thing to say to someone you've just met… Let me give this another go.

"No, look, I'm talking about the class project. According to what I know, we have to get into groups of three and come up with a report and presentation and stuff. I was hoping we could do something about it since none of us is in a group already. So… how about it?"

The saggy guy perked up, if only slightly, eyes largely hidden within the shadow of his cap. "…We got a project, dude?"

"Ah, um, yeah. I just found out today too… I was absent this morning, you see. And the deadline's next Thursday so we actually have less than a week to pull it off."

"…There's a deadline, dude?"

"Next Thursday? ! Oh my god!" The girl realized the gravity of our situation, or so I thought. "That's me and my boyfriend's two-month anniversary! We're slated for a hot date that day with a trip to a mountain hot spring resort! This is a real pickle I'm in!"

As she worked herself up into an unnecessary fit, the guy she was hanging out with took no more notice of me and turned his attention back to his phone. My view of these two idiots quickly deteriorated to the point of nothingness. I looked back over my shoulder at my classmates who were watching, and all they could do was offer me a thumbs-up for good luck before they vanished and left me to my fate. …You know what they say: there's nothing like good friends.

This was going to be a long week.

XOXOXOXOXO

My college buddies enlightened me with some background information on my newest group members. Apparently these two were the laziest, most unmotivated students of our class. Classmates and senpais who have had the misfortune of working with them before had warnings for me. Their lack of academic dedication showed: they often cut classes, their grades were poor, and the worst part was that they had actually been held back a semester. Why were they even in college anyway? They must be such good friends to fail and underachieve together.

I didn't even need chicken brains to know they weren't going to shoulder any leadership responsibilities if they could help it, so it was by default that I was to be in charge of the team. I didn't mind being a leader, but wasn't thrilled with having to work with these nutcases. Time was running short, so I decided it would be best to hold a meeting with them today after class. With barely an hour to myself before I had to hurry back for work, I grabbed hold of the lazy guy and dragged him to the cafeteria. The girl was nowhere to be seen though.

"Relax," he yawned. "I already messaged her to come. She'll be here in a bit."

"Where did she go anyway? Did she not come back to class after the break?"

"Guess not. If this is her we're talking about, I think she's busy again."

"Busy? Busy with what?"

"Eh, details."

He spoke no more, staring into his phone. I decided that the best nickname for him would be Burnout, for his sleepy attitude. I mean, seriously. Best conversation ever.

I shuddered to think that years ago I was like him: heavily anti-social and uninterested in the world. It's only thanks to the people I had met that I grew into a much better person. I definitely had no wish to return to those dull dreary days.

The girl came over soon enough, face flushed from running. Where studies were concerned, she was probably no better than Burnout but at least she added a lot more cheer to the stifling air. That didn't mean I had to be happy with her being late!

"Hey," I grumbled, "you're half an hour late. I may not look like it, but I have a schedule to keep, you know."

She attempted to drown my frustrations in a sea of giggles and sugar-coated liveliness. When she took her seat I noticed that Burnout didn't look her way even when she greeted him. Was he actually an unfriendly person, or was he the type to lose himself in his own world?

"Sorry, sorry!" she laughed. "I, uh… I was caught up in some very important business earlier. Believe me, I wanted to get off sooner but it just wasn't possible. Didn't mean to keep you waiting, honest!"

"What could be so 'important'," I asked carelessly, "that you'd wind up thirty minutes late?"

There's a limit to how much shamelessness a person can have. While I was accustomed to Eri's teasing and stripping, even she was no match for the boldness this girl had. All while she explained herself, she still had her bright and peppy mood in place to prop up whatever sense of normality was left of the awkward atmosphere. It helped little.

"Ahahaha… The truth is, I sneaked off during the break…"

"Y-You were skiving? !"

"…and went to my boyfriend's room at the campus hostel. It was worth missing the lecture, though. You wouldn't believe what an amazing threesome I just had!"

The soda spurted out of my mouth in a geyser. Say WHAT? !

She tried to elaborate further but only made my aching head worse. "So… me, my boyfriend and one of my girlfriends, right? We had a lot of fun, but I guess we took longer than I expected. These things generally take a while and I had to wait for my turn, so in the meantime I was playing with – "

"Hoi! Enough! Stop grossing me out more than is necessary!"

…I think I should call her Lusty. Suits her to a tee. What a bimbo! Eri may be gutter-minded much of the time but at least she had a lot more integrity and intelligence to match.

Amidst the nonsense, Burnout didn't flinch one bit. He must be used to hearing her talk about her 'adventures'. Either that or he didn't care.

I was out of time, so I dispensed with the talk about the importance of punctuality and just went ahead without it.

"Alright, guys," I said, "we're here to talk about what we need to do for that group project. It needs to be completed by Thursday, and we have both a report and presentation to do. Our topic is 'The positive and negative impacts of advertising on our society'. Let's think about what we need to look for. For starters – "

Burnout stopped me, mumbling with an almighty yawn. "Dude, I don't see why we need to be so fussy about this whole thing."

"What're you talking about?"

"We know what the project topic is… All we need to do is to find an article about it on the internet and then copy it into our report."

Lusty nodded her head in agreement. "Exactly what I was thinking! We'll do the same for the presentation. Just fit the article into the slides, make it all nice and pretty and we're done! Easy, right?"

"What? !" I gasped. "Are you saying… the whole article? !"

"Just the paragraphs that look important." She sniggered in a furtive way, like she was letting me in on a secret trick that few people were aware of. "They don't need to read the whole thing."

"They don't need to read walls of text either," I retorted. "And just so you know, what you two are suggesting is plagiarism. We can't do that!"

"Why not? We've done it lots of times. It's a great tactic that saves you time and effort!"

Meanwhile, Burnout had the gall to play a video game on his phone while our meeting was underway. As he swiped furiously on the screen slicing up virtual fruits, it occurred to me that his index finger was actually livelier than his brain. He did manage to offer some of his more coherent thoughts, however.

"No one cares, dude. What she said, man – just whip up something that looks good and they wouldn't know the difference. So, like, stop being a fusspot already."

"Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V," chanted Lusty. "It's as simple as that!"

What in the world was their problem? ! These two really were the laziest students on campus! When my classmates said no one wanted to work with them, they sure weren't joking. What was I going to do with them?

I stood my ground and reiterated that it was wrong. "Even if you're okay with it, I'm not, and neither is our lecturer. We are going to do this project the proper way, that is to say we do research, gather our material, and then extract the main facts from it. It's not that I want a challenge, it's just that this is the right way to do things!"

They didn't like the sound of that. Apparently they would get away with anything if they could help it. …Not this time.

Lusty had her cheek puffed out like a spoilt child. "…Boo."

Her perpetually sleepy friend wasn't thrilled at having to exercise his brain cells. "You mean we actually gotta think for this crud, dude? …Dammit."

Seeing how bad their sloth could go, I had my suspicions that they wouldn't be able – and couldn't be bothered – to deliver the results I was looking for. Forget about cooperation. If these two wouldn't have any of it, I'd be wasting my time getting them to handle tasks that were more complex than the average essay. It was because of this that I made the very hard decision to do the majority of the report and presentation, and while this was probably a bad move, leaving it to them was far worse!

"Try to think," I said to Lusty, "about how advertising has a positive impact on society. And as for you…" – now I turned to Burnout – "…you need to focus about the negative ones." I figured that what they were researching should fit their personalities – lively and half-dead, respectively. So here you go. "I'll think of some of the impacts too, but don't count on me too much. I need you to do your bit. Get your stuff done by Tuesday and then e-mail it to me. Got it?"

The meeting was over and we all got up to leave.

"Hmm. Ciao, dude."

"If you need me," said Lusty, "I'll be at my boyfriend's place, continuing where I left off. Can't waste a good evening doing nothing." Do your homework instead, woman!

A bloke who was bored at everything. A girl with an X-rated brain. And the hapless guy who was stupid enough to take them in. We must be the saddest group on campus ever. I told myself to stay strong and that I only needed to be with them until next Thursday, but until then the days ahead of me would be very, very dark with no hope of respite.

XOXOXOXOXO

Ding-dong.

Who could that be at this hour? It was – whoa, it's morning already? ! And what's more, it's eight! To top it all off, I was still seated at my desk with my saliva-coated chin plastered onto the laptop I had being using since last night. After work, I pulled an all-nighter at home doing research for that group project… Goodness, it felt like there was someone using a pneumatic drill on my brain! My head hurt like the dickens.

Now, about the visitor currently wreaking havoc on my doorbell… Let's see who it was.

"Good morning, Neku!"

"Oh, Eri… It's you!"

As I did my best to rub the fuzz out of my eyes, a quick thought occurred to me: this whole week, I had been so busy I didn't get to see her much. There were maybe a couple of times when we'd get to talk on the morning bus to college, but that was all there was to it. After the burning muscles, cranky bosses and useless teammates, it was nice to be bathed in the warmth of the ray of sunshine that was her.

"Ready to hit the road?"

"Huh? Where are we going?"

She blinked owlishly at me in confusion. "Eh? It's Saturday. We're going to the supermarket, of course! To buy ingredients and stuff!"

"Supermarket? Ingredients?" I didn't quite understand her yet because of my grogginess… and it earned me a light bop to the head from a slightly exasperated Eri.

"Rise and shine already, will you? It's time for our cooking lesson! You said we were going to cook radish soup!"

"Whuh…? Cooking le– "

Oh, crud! That's right… Our cooking lessons were on Saturdays. As much as I loved our interactions in the kitchen, I felt that I wasn't up to holding one today. But Eri looked so eager to get our adventure started. I didn't want to deny her the pleasure of learning a new dish. However, it would be worse for both of us if I tried to work up the energy only to fail.

I didn't want to do this, but…

"Uh, Eri," I muttered, biting my lip, "is it okay if we postpone today's lesson to next week?"

The look of excitement gave way to puzzlement followed by disappointment. "But why?"

"I've been involved in a lot of things these past few days, and I've yet to get any sort of rest. Terribly sorry, Eri… but I'm very tired… If I do anything more on top of what I already have on my hands, I think I could just collapse from the exhaustion!"

She stroked my cheek to gauge my healthiness. "You haven't been very lively these days, I noticed. Not that you've always been a bouncing ball of energy, but still…"

I reached up to touch her hand, grateful that she cared. I enlightened her on the things that kept me on my toes: the part-time work, the gym, the college assignments… "Oh yeah, another thing," I added, "a friend of mine's got a bakery in town and they've started this 'Happy Hour' gimmick where everything is half price for a specific hour on Sundays, so things are sure to get hectic. He said he could really use some extra hands so I'm gonna go help him out…"

"You sure have your hands full, Neku."

"Isn't it great, though? He's paying me 1600 yen for this gig. That's an additional 1600 yen I can make in a week! You can't go wrong with more pocket money."

Now she understood my situation better. She must surely be impressed, seeing that I was taking the initiative in life, right? So then why didn't she display the enthusiasm that she showed when I first told her I got a job? Where's the praise and the smile that went with it? Something wasn't right. But… why? Shouldn't she be glad her boyfriend was being so proactive?

"Why are you doing so many things at a time?" she asked finally. "It's all a bit much, don't you think? You'll tire yourself out."

Her words surprised me, and not in a good way. What was with this reaction? I didn't understand why she was like this. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. I tried once more to get through to her. "Eri, I know you're worried about me but it'll seem like a lot only in the initial stages. Once I get the hang of it I'll be a pro at this multitasking business! I might get promoted too, and – "

"Neku, listen." Eri held up her hand to stop me. "I can see you're doing good things for yourself. You're working two jobs, you're pumping iron every day, you're the leader in a group project, and who knows what else. But I'm concerned that you may be piling on responsibilities without even thinking whether you can handle them adequately or not."

Did she have that little confidence in me? No, no, come on, man. That can't be it. She's just anxious about my stamina.

"You're also going to lose a lot of your free time," she added. "Is this really what you want?"

Despite the uneasiness growing in my gut, I braved a smile and reassured her that I was alright. "There's not much I can do about that, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I'll have everything down pat in no time! I just need to make a few adjustments to my schedule… Then all that's left is to get used to it and once that's done I can expect to see better things down the line. And don't you worry… I'm not gonna be the weakling I used to be. You're looking at a brand new Neku!"

"I never once thought of you as a weakling," she said, "but I'm not sure that what you're doing now is really the right thing."

She had yet to be fully convinced, that much I could tell. But changing her outlook on me to an even more positive note was the challenge I was looking forward to. It's lost on her now but she'll get the message in time.

Until then, I hoped to alleviate some of her disappointment. "It'll be fine, Eri. Everything will work out. Um, so anyway… I'm sorry I can't do today's lesson… But I promise we'll do it next Saturday."

If there's one thing Eri was averse to, it was procrastination. She preferred to get things done on the spot when the time came instead of putting them off for another day. "Live in the now," she once put it. "Why wait till later?"

Faced with a set of undeniable reasons, however, she backed off when she might have already expressed her chagrin by now. Even better, she was slowly cheering up again.

"It's a promise, then. And Neku, I'm not sure where you're going to end up with your schedule as packed as it is, so… just don't go nuts."

"Thanks, Eri. I'll be careful."

Her lips moved slightly in a murmur that I couldn't hear. I thought it was her saying goodbye, but I saw her mouth form too many syllables.

"Eri? Did you say something?"

"Huh? I-It's nothing. I'll catch you later!" In a second, she snapped back to her usual happy-go-lucky ways and beamed at me one last time before excusing herself and leaving me to rest undisturbed for the rest of the day.

While I was preparing breakfast, I pondered over the morning's events and kept trying to make sense of her strange behaviour. What was it about what I did that she didn't agree with? Did I mess up somewhere? But no matter from whichever angle I viewed it, I could see nothing wrong. I was just being a hardworking person… just like the youths I kept hearing about in real-life stories where they toil and sweat blood for a good cause. Or it may not necessarily be for a good cause, even. They simply do a lot of things that they could add to their resume in the future.

Still, she didn't seem too happy, so there must be a reason behind it… Maybe it might have something to do with the silent words she muttered under her breath earlier. Hmmm… What was it she was trying to say? It wasn't very audible at all, but…

…it sounded like, "I kinda prefer the old Neku."

…

…

Author's note:

Hello again everyone! Before I get on with the usual ramble, I just need to say this. The chapter I originally meant to upload was much longer. But because it was too long, I split it into two, so the first half is what we get for now. The second half will become Chapter 33 and it will be out soon, once I'm done with further editing and proof-reading. Seriously, if I release it all as a single chapter, you'll have at least 24000 words to read through, and that's a bit too much.

Now, on with the ramble. Once again we have a chapter that contains the all-important aspect of character development. Upon realizing that he lives in a world where the fittest survive – and I don't just mean fittest in a physical sense – Neku strives to become the perfect man for Eri. I wanted to show that he is an active participant in the relationship, not a bum who just sits there, contented that he's got a girlfriend. Once he knows how serious his situation can be, he doesn't wait. He does everything in his power to ensure that he is worthy of her affections. But how will it all turn out in the end? Only Chapter 33 will tell.

I'm concerned that the tone of this chapter turned out to be less comedic than I hoped. I just wanted to show a more serious side to the story, but I wonder if I may have jeopardized some of the humour.

I wanted to finish this by Xmas Eve 2014 but couldn't. I could have rushed, but wasn't willing to sacrifice quality. So this update was super-slow – sorry about that! – but at least I was satisfied with it. On the bright side, Chapter 33 is pretty much completed at this point so I will release that soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Watch this space… Bye!