She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 33)
by BrDPirateMan
As the new week unfolded, I began to feel the burn of my overly tight schedule. It's not so much about keeping things afloat anymore as it was about keeping myself afloat.
My being at the gym nearly every day gave my limbs a constant, numbing sense of pain; it'll be a while before I could shrug it off handily. It's nice to get paid for my work at the ramen joint, but my boss' incessant complaints made it difficult to enjoy my job, and every shift ended on a slightly demoralizing note. Let's not forget coursework and the throwaway rejects I had as teammates. Working with them was frustrating at best; at worst, I wanted to murder them.
Due to time constraints, I was forced to hold regular meetings with them to gather all the material we had researched together and decide how best to put it all in a single informative presentation, plus the accompanying report. But their lackadaisical approach made it difficult to get things done. Whatever I told them to do, they always did it poorly and it was clear they didn't put in much effort. Fearing that we wouldn't be able to make it in time for Judgment Day (that's our Thursday deadline), I gave them only minor duties and did the lion's share of the work. It's not teamwork, I know… But that's the best course of action for now. The only course.
I was hopelessly busy… and whenever Eri popped by to crash over at my place, there was little I could do to attend to her. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… She came every one of these days but it was the same story. I hated to see her bored, but I was sure she would understand my plight.
It's late into Tuesday night now, but I wasn't sleeping yet. I should be, but I had to put in the finishing touches to our assignment. Once that's done, I need only wait for Lusty and Burnout to submit their stuff to me so I could add them in. Perhaps some editing here and there was necessary but hopefully I could be done with this by tonight.
The laptop pinged. That meant a new e-mail, hopefully from… alright! It's Burnout's. Let's take a look at his slides and –
Ugh! What on earth was this? !
The guy didn't even bother to spell his words correctly! There were at least three things wrong I could see here. The punctuation was all over the place. Some words were shortened like he was writing a message on his cell phone, so there were several glaring usages of '2' when he meant 'to', for example. Worse, everything was written in an 8 point-sized font! You could hardly see the bullet points, actually. How's anyone supposed to read this?
His partial report was no better. There's a limit to how much shoddiness I could tolerate. Here's looking at maybe another hour to sort this trash out.
Another ping? Oh, Lusty's stuff was in my mail this time… Huh? Why were there so many files? There should be just one partial report and a set of presentation slides… More importantly, what's up with that file extension? Those were photos! Wh-What had she been doing? !
Panicking, I clicked one of them open. When the image loaded onto the screen, I exclaimed in utter shock and nearly fell off my chair. Really took me by surprise. Never saw it coming.
I didn't think Lusty was the type of girl who would send naked photos of herself to classmates she barely knew.
Half of the photos were taken together with her equally naked boyfriend. They must have snapped themselves while they were being frantic in bed. Was she trying to make some sort of amateur porn album? !
The evening took a turn for the worse when Eri barged into my room.
"Neku, what's wrong? ! I heard you shouting just n–"
She charged right in, thinking that I was in trouble, but paused in her tracks when she laid eyes on the obscene photo sitting on my screen in all its HD glory. There followed an awkward pause of epic proportions during which she just gaped in horror and I sat there wondering how to explain myself and survive the lashing I would soon get.
"Um, Eri… This… uh… It's not, like…"
To my extreme discomfort, she started to chuckle. I recognized that laugh. It's not the happy one people use when they see something funny. It's the type you hear when someone's about to kill you. Her mouth stretched into a sadistic grin. And… whoa, I didn't know she could pop her knuckles like that! Somebody save me!
"Oh my," she said with a creepy drawl. "Drooling over another girl's nude photographs behind your girlfriend's back… It takes lots of guts to do that. I gotta hand it to you. But that's essentially the same as cheating… Are you aware of that… honey?"
"P-Please don't call me 'honey' when you're angry like that… It just makes it sound horrifying – uh, w-wait, hold on!" Suddenly, my brain clicked into action and I had a great idea on how to diffuse the tense situation. "I… I need to make a quick phone call, Eri. Just listen, then you'll understand! So, uh… I'm… I'm going to… call, um, now."
"Take your time… It could be your last." Yikes!
I grabbed my phone and dialed Lusty, making sure to turn the speaker on at full volume so that Eri could listen in on the conversation.
Lusty answered. "Um, h-hello?"
"Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you, but I really need to ask you about – wh-what is going on back there? !" In the background was a whole cacophony of noises… the kind humans make when they're… procreating. Eri's unhappy expression quickly turned into bewilderment.
As usual, my loopy teammate was very nonchalant about it. "Oh, that? Ahahaha! Please don't mind them. I'm taking part in another ménage a trois… It's my girlfriend's turn now, actually, and…"
I cleared my throat one too many times, and Eri was now totally red in the face. Who wouldn't? We were actually listening in on… on this… I didn't even know what to call it! So all the while I was talking to Lusty, we had to contend with all the muffled noises and the occasional scream. It was hell.
"Where is the project stuff you promised me?" I demanded. "All you mailed me was a bunch of dirty photos!"
She gasped. "What? Oh, I must have sent them to you by mistake! Hee hee… sorry about that! I meant to send them to my boyfriend."
"P-Please be a bit more responsible next time! I've got a girlfriend, you know. It's already caused a misunderstanding when she saw your photos."
"Ooh, really? I'm so sorry! I'll be more careful next time! Anyway, don't worry, I've completed everything. I'll send them to you once I'm done over – hey, hey! Shhh!" She addressed the two very busy friends in the background. "I'm trying to talk here, guys!"
I heard a word or two of "sorry" being muttered carelessly, but nothing changed. The other girl was starting to really scream the place down now. It was even harder to make out what Lusty was trying to say now. The sweat gushed down my face and neck. Eri didn't know quite where to look, even when there's nothing to see in a phone call. I turned off speaker mode. She'd heard enough by now. Gotta end it as quickly as possible. God… I couldn't take anymore of this myself.
"L-Look," I said. "Just send them over by tonight. And make sure you prepare your part of the speech. Do you hear me? You've got to practice for Thursday!"
"Okay! By the way, before I forget…"
"Yeah?"
"Those photos you got… They wouldn't happen to be yesterday's, would they?"
"H-How should I know? !"
And that's that. In the aftermath of the sleaze we had just bore witness to, the silence that returned to the room was welcome and serene. Eri was so mortified by what she had heard that her legs went weak and she had to sit down on my bed, clutching her forehead.
"That girl you were talking to," she groaned. "Who… Who is she again?"
"That's my teammate in that group project I was telling you about. Sorry you had to hear that. I meant for you to hear her words from her mouth so you would understand the whole story, but I guess we got more than we bargained for."
"I-Is she always like this?"
"Yeah," I grumbled. "There's no time when she doesn't think of that. One hundred percent bimbo, total nymphomaniac. Those photos you saw were not meant for me. I was waiting for her to send me the things I need to finish our assignment. It's all a big mistake. I'm sorry, Eri."
She shook her head, showing that she was no longer mad. "No, no! It's alright, I got it now! I should be sorry instead."
I sat beside her. "Glad that's all cleared up then."
Eri leaned against my frame, breathing a sigh of relief. "Good to know that my faith in you hasn't been misplaced. You couldn't be the sort of guy who'd surf porn sites behind my back, that's for sure."
"Yeah, it's not really my thing. Besides, I don't need to. Not when you're always around anyway."
"Hee hee. Nice solid point you made there, Neku. …Jokes aside, can I just get something off my chest?"
"H-Huh? What do you – "
"Just so there're no misunderstandings, Neku, that's just a metaphor. I'm not going to take off my shirt. I did say 'jokes aside'."
"R-Right…! So what did you want to talk about?"
"Your health. Among other things."
I could guess where she wanted to go with this but wasn't keen on giving her a repeat performance of last Saturday's 'reassurance speech'. Ten yen told me it wouldn't be as effective this time around.
"Eri, I'll be fine," I said, patting her on the knee. "I'm still here, see?"
"But you're not taking care of yourself. Do you know why I've been visiting you these past few evenings? No, it's not because I want to goof off. Your behaviour has been worrying me, so I wanted to check up on you to see how you're faring."
"That's why you've been coming in every day? I… I had no idea…"
"Look, it's nice to be invested in all sorts of activities, but let's face it, Neku: you haven't been coping very well. I don't know if it's because you're tired or pressed for time, but you've been doing things differently, skipping important steps. You don't cook dinner anymore, for instance. You just boil a packet of instant noodles and that's it."
That's true. I haven't been paying attention to my diet lately. Dinnertime always ended up late nowadays, so I had to resort to shortcuts – canned food and instant meals. But I tried to laugh it off and make it sound less serious than she had implied. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry further.
"My project deadline is coming up real soon, and I still have a lot to cover, so I really haven't found a lot of time on my hands to prepare my meals…"
"That's still no reason for you to eat like a slob. What's more, you were the one who told me to eat more healthily. 'Do away with those TV dinners', you once said. Or something."
"Ah… er, point taken! B-But it's only temporary, I swear… Once the project is done, I'll be a free man!"
"You know, if our shifts didn't overlap I could cook you dinner on the days when you have work. That'd help reduce your workload."
Her generosity was the real thing and it was heartening to hear her words of kindness, but I declined her offer. "Whoa, I couldn't get you to do that for me… That's asking too much. Thanks though."
She started to adopt a slightly harsher tone to really drive home the point that she was worried. "Neku, you can't go on like this. You'll only get worse, in more ways than one. There are some things you can't really neglect. I'm not just talking about your own health, either. There are… others."
"Others? L-Like what?" What did I miss?
"Hmmm, you know what? I think I'll let you figure out that one yourself. If you're able to look at the big picture, then you should know what I'm talking about. Of course, you may not immediately understand, but I hope you do soon."
It's not like her to be so cryptic. She usually told me things straight and to the point. I wanted to put my questions to rest; coaxed by the urgency of my assignment, however, I eventually chucked the matter aside. There was little time I could spare for mind games.
Dismissing the issue as gently as I could, I said with a smile, "I'd love to take guesses, Eri, but I still have work to do. I'll think about it more when I'm free."
"You'd better do that," she said with unnecessary emphasis. "But in the meantime, there's something else you can do."
"What's that?"
The 'cruel' grin returned to her face, although it had been watered down to look less frightening. This could only mean she had something else on her mind, one final axe to grind with me.
"Delete those photos, Neku. Actually, do that now, please."
I laughed nervously, knowing that they left a bad taste in her mouth. "Ha ha ha… Eri, I'm not going to keep – "
"I know that," she said more menacingly. She peered into my face with a stern look that meant business, though the smile remained which made her appear even more disconcerting. "I just dislike the thought of your computer being infested with that… tramp's photographs. It's quite distressing. You wouldn't like it if I hoard photos of other guys on my phone, for example… yes?"
"Uh… I… No…"
"Good. Now, if you understand where I'm coming from, please delete those photos immediately. Or… I could do that for you if you like."
"N-No, I'll get to it!"
"Be sure to empty them from your recycle bin too."
"Y-Yes!"
She hovered around my desk like a vulture, refusing to leave until she was sure that Lusty's photos were permanently removed from my system. I mean, I had no intention of keeping them at all, but it was still a useful life lesson to know about the full extent Eri's jealousy could reach. She definitely had that clingy jealous girl attribute. I guess all girls with boyfriends did.
"Done?"
"All deleted," I gulped. "Just like you asked."
Satisfied, Eri offered me a smile.
"Well then, I shan't keep you occupied any longer. 'Night!" And then she left the room, leaving me to live another day. Talk about a close call…
Anyway, what did she want to tell me? As I continued to work through the night, her riddle never left the confines of my head. I couldn't solve it. What was it about me that she still found lacking? What was that other thing that she implied I had neglected? In her eyes, shouldn't I be an accomplished boyfriend with everything I had been doing?
It's a pity that I wouldn't be figuring that one out soon.
But I should have.
XOXOXOXOXO
I was gradually adjusting to my new lifestyle. Classes during the day, gym in the afternoons if time permitted, and part-time work at night on some days. I was still struggling and lethargic by the end of each day, but it's only been a week, I kept telling myself. I wasn't expecting overnight changes. However, I got the general feeling that I was getting better at juggling my tasks, if only a little and at a glacial pace.
Try as I might, though, my cantankerous boss was ever so hard to deal with and nothing I did could appease him. Somewhere along the line, he must have forgotten that his employees were still people, not mindless robots.
"Faster, move faster, boy! Do those dishes! Step on it!"
"No offence, sir," I gulped, "but I got that already… You told me the exact same lines for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes!"
He shoved his face right into the bubble of my personal space and I got a dose of cigarette smoke-laced bad breath. Must be a chain smoker.
"Don't you talk back to me, boy," he huffed. "The truth of the matter is, you're too slow. Pick up the pace. My customers are waiting."
"Y-Yes sir."
When I was done for the evening, he came to me with my pay and some news.
"A… party?"
According to him, "one of our customers has reserved the entire restaurant for a gathering he's going to hold this Saturday. It'll get really busy, so we need all the help we can get. I'll be frank here… You're not entirely reliable yet for something as important as this, but I don't have much of a choice. Think you're up for it?"
Unsure of what to expect, I simply hesitated. He wasn't wrong. I was a clumsy inexperienced college freshman who's still running around the place like a headless chicken. How many times has my boss scolded me and told me to "stop being a useless bum, boy!"? I couldn't yet reach the level of competency that the other personnel displayed, and now I was being asked if I could help out at such a big occasion? My gut feeling told me to decline, to leave the tough stuff to the pros and old-timers, but then Sir Grumpy gave me some incentive.
"I'll pay you."
Lured in by the smell of extra cash, I agreed right away. "I'll make it, sir."
"Here's tonight's salary, boy. Now shoo."
He could have shown a little more gratitude… but I guess higher-ups aren't obliged to say thanks. Either way, I was set to work an extra night this weekend. His words stung like bees, but I told myself to ignore him as long as I was getting paid. Given the chance, however, I should probably find a better job…
XOXOXOXOXO
Thursday morning. Judgment Day. Today, we hold that presentation.
The report was completed, more or less for what it was worth. I had to edit it a lot for it to even make a shred of sense. But the presentation was another matter. My optimal plan was to hold a mock presentation with those two teammates so we could practice and nail the timing. Unfortunately, there was no way I could contact either of them. Both didn't pick up the phone and they were mysteriously absent yesterday. Not keen on wasting time, my only option was to practice by myself (all through last night too, which explains the dark circles around my eyes) and hope they wouldn't make too big a mess of it. Even if they butchered everything, I was hoping to salvage whatever dignity we would have left by delivering my part properly.
There's just one problem.
Where the heck were my teammates? ! They were nowhere to be seen!
Everywhere I looked, and not even a hint of their shadows. I asked around, explaining my predicament, and no one had an answer for me. They could only shake their heads in sympathy.
This was a presentation, for goodness' sake! It's part of our curriculum! Miss it and you'll likely fail the whole subject! What kind of idiot would cut class during such an important time? Our grades were on the line here!
I had three more groups to sit through before my team was slated to strut their stuff. As the seconds ticked by and they were still a no-show, I kept sending message after message to them with swelling urgency to just haul their sorry butts over here already. But there was no reply. I tried calling them too, but it was also no use. Was Burnout in hibernation, and Lusty engaged in another tug-of-war under the covers?
Much to my extreme discomfort, everyone else seemed to be doing fine. Their presentations were very well done, and one or two even got creative, earning praises from the lecturer. That's the type of work quality my team couldn't even hope to come close to. Supposing I had been paired up with someone else – anyone else, really – I could come up with something totally revolutionary, something that everyone would have to stand up and take notice of. But no amount of diligence could save the train wreck that I was about to offer to the class. It was too far beyond help to begin with. I shuddered to think what my classmates would say about it. Better start looking for places to hide my face.
"Sakuraba," said the lecturer, "you're up."
My heart stopped beating. It's our turn, and they were still not here! This was like a mean joke.
All eyes turned to me. The attention I was getting was unbearable. I sweated buckets.
"Come on, Sakuraba, is your group ready? Come up front if you are. We don't have all day."
"Um…" I didn't want to have to say this, but… "Sir, I'm afraid my teammates… They're… Th-They're not here yet."
A soft murmur of disbelief rose from the class. The lecturer had been fed on a steady diet of cleverness and intuition thanks to the efforts of the groups before me, and was currently in high spirits as a result, but the piece of bad news I had for him soured his mood and his frown was etched very deep in his brow. He silenced the class with a raised hand and then interrogated me further.
"What do you mean, 'not here'?"
"I… see… uh, it appears, well, they're absent. I mean, I've been trying to contact them but I could never get through. So, um…"
He shook his head, cross at this display of truancy. Instead of sympathizing with me, however, he simply warned me, "You do realize that this assignment carries a good percentage of your grade, don't you?"
Worried that he might just fail me, I spluttered, "I… I understand! I'm truly sorry… I'll keep trying to contact them!"
"We can't wait for you, Sakuraba, so for now I'm making your group the last one to present. Let's hope your teammates arrive before the class is over. Otherwise I may have to just give you a very poor grade…" Oh my goodness. Anything but failure!
For now, the other guys who were supposed to go after me took their turns and the lecturer's mood began to pick up again. Dammit! They're even better than the first few ones before me. How was I going to live up to the hype? My teammates already made me look bad. When it was time for us to roll I'd look even worse. "What happened to you, Neku Sakuraba?" they might say. "We had no idea you could come up with trash this bad." Kuh… My reputation was going to take a big hit here…
I renewed my attempts to establish contact with Lusty and Burnout. I was a desperate man running on borrowed time and these idiots were taking things nice and slow! Where were they? ! I was running out of fingernails to chew on!
My mind began to wander. How did this happen? When you're in the biggest pinch of your life, it's difficult to keep your thoughts in line, and you start to think deeper into the situation you have found yourself in. Where did it all begin? Right, it wouldn't have come to this if I hadn't recruited Lusty and Burnout. I should have looked around harder for potential teammates. But it's not like I had a choice… Everyone's groups had been decided. If I had just gone to the morning lecture, I'd be in a killer team now. Long story short, I had dug my own grave. I wanted nothing better than to whack my head against the wall.
I was inclined to delve even deeper into the chain of events that led up to this, but a miracle happened… if it could really be called one. The classroom door squeaked open, and in trooped Lusty and Burnout, almost an hour late and not caring that they were. The class was in utter shock and the lecturer wasn't happy in the slightest. I was besieged by an odd concoction of relief and anger.
"What is the meaning of this? !" snapped the lecturer. "Have you any idea what time it is? !"
Lusty laughed, trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation. "Aw, come on, teach! I'm really sorry, okay? I was caught up in heavy traffic, is all." Nodding towards her half-dead friend, she added, "Same goes for him. We carpool, see? So – "
"Spare the half-baked excuses and sit down at once! And be sure you're ready for your presentation."
Clearly exasperated but unwilling to waste time, he waved them away and motioned the group up front to continue. Lusty and Burnout sat next to me, and I was positively bristling. I had half a mind to berate the living daylights out of them, but decided against it. There's no point getting worked up over them. By the time class was over, I would be free from their curse and could go on my merry way.
"You're way too late," I hissed. "What actually happened? And don't tell me it's because of traffic congestion."
"Eheh… Well, you found us out." It's amazing how she could still giggle when they were at fault. Even more amazing was that she could disclose the real reason without batting an eyelid. "I… uh, I was trying to set a new record with my boyfriend. So far we – "
"Stop. I don't wanna know." I directed a sharp glare at Burnout, forcing him to speak up.
"I was trying," he explained, "to raise my position into the rankings of Ethuria's Legacy. It's not easy to get into the top 50 and I had to play non-stop for the past few days."
"What the heck…" My head was spinning. "You mean you've been playing games this whole time? What about the speech you're supposed to be practicing?"
Burnout frowned slightly, suggesting that I had said something stupid. "Dude, I hardly had time to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom. Ten minutes of inactivity is all it takes to drop out of the top 50… You're saying I should waste my time practicing a speech?"
"Yes!"
It wasn't worth the time and effort trying to straighten them up. I was going to be done with them in less than an hour's time anyway, so for now all I did was give them last-minute instructions on what to do during the presentation.
It really sucked being the last group for the day. Waiting for our turn was an ordeal arguably worse than the actual presentation itself. All I could think of was how they were going to botch everything. It didn't help that the rest of the class was amazing at what they did. We were the odd ones out. I'd be a laughingstock that people would point at and say, "ooh, look, there's Neku, the hapless sap who partnered up with two of the worst dummies in college. Is he out of his mind or what? !" The worst day of my life… and I hadn't even come to the main course!
The group before us finished their presentation to a rousing round of applause. They did a great job, to say the least. If anything, they were probably the best out of the lot. Which placed even more pressure on me. But neither Lusty nor Burnout was particularly troubled by it. "Once it's over," they must be thinking, "it's over, so whatever." They couldn't understand what it's like to have pride!
We were up now. Well, this was it, huh. Fine, I'll just do my best and leave the rest to fate. At this point, there was little I could do anyway.
After I was done introducing the team to the class and giving a brief insight on the project topic, I passed the ball over to Lusty who went next as instructed and she took center stage.
"So, like, see," she began, "advertisements are all nice and glossy and stuff, right? But, like, you know, they got good and bad stuff going on for them and I'm here to give you the lowdown on all the goodies about them." She jerked her head towards Burnout and added, "He'll give you allll the details about their icky dirty side, but for now you've got me. Hee hee!"
Oh god… That sickly enthusiastic manner of hers… She was like a hopping bunny on steroids. Much of what she said had plenty of fluff but little substance. Filter away the sunny nonsense and there'd be little left to chew on. She didn't put in enough research and now was just trying to scrape through with useless padding and that perpetually happy attitude of hers. I wasn't sure the class could take any more of her drivel. I wasn't sure I could.
"Take a look at the advertisements of today," she rambled, "and you'll see there's plenty good for everyone all around! In fact, they're so advantageous, our lives wouldn't be the same anymore without them. They've become an inseparable part of our lives! And – "
The lecturer caught on long ago. He wasn't stupid. He raised his hand and bluntly cut her off, "Ahem. Is there anything else you'd like to say?"
"Huh?"
"I had the impression we're supposed to hear about the positive impacts of advertisements on our society. Well? All you've been saying is that they're good, but we want to know the how. The why. So what have you got for us? What about those pointers you've written on your slides? Surely you can tell us something?"
Lusty had been counting on her 'foolproof' plan to get by but it wouldn't work anymore. That's what happens when you don't do your homework. You resort to stupid tactics. Then you crash and burn.
She glanced to one side, biting her lip in deep thought, with a prolonged "hmmm" to show the class that she was still here. But she was stuck, I knew. I had to come to the rescue.
"For starters," I said, "advertisements are – "
However, the lecturer stopped me brusquely. "Sakuraba, I asked her, not you." There was a snigger or two from the audience, but I was too nervous to be annoyed. Dammit, now I couldn't even help my teammates! What now?
Lusty had a simple solution.
"Well," she said, "what you see is what you get. So, uh, on with the next part?"
"Is that really all you intend to say?" grumbled the lecturer.
"Ah, yes sir!"
I could have died on the spot watching him make all those beautiful frowns on his forehead.
"We don't have time for this. Next."
He just gave up on her. That's real smart, girl! So smart even idiots would be put to shame.
Burnout's part was also poorly delivered. A plate of spaghetti would have more zest and enthusiasm than his bore fest. Unlike his airhead partner, he had his speech – no doubt culled from outside sources without bothering to edit it – prepared on a piece of paper, which was fine if you needed the occasional reminder of what to say. But he was reading directly from it, like he was reading from a textbook, which was downright uninteresting and even more unbearable to sit through. The natural monotone of his voice would be great if we needed help sleeping. But we had to be awake, so… that sucked.
"…has been shown that during a ten-year period from 2000 to 2010, at least 80% of the general population had overspent on goods that were advertised by means of applying peer pressure. In addition, 69% of…"
I took a sweeping glance at our audience, and found them to be doing all manner of things: talking softly amongst themselves, fiddling with their phones, doodling in their notebooks or staring off into space. Everything but listening. Heck, even the lecturer was spacing out.
It was an act of mercy that he stopped him too. "Okay, we've heard enough. Sakuraba, it's your turn next, isn't it? Go for it."
I sprang into action. Meanwhile, Burnout just shrugged and shuffled away, probably glad that his job was done. No kidding. Even I was glad.
With the two out of the way it was my turn to play, and damage control was the name of the game. I had confidence that my portion of the speech would raise our dwindling grades, so I didn't hold back and launched a fluent and reasonably exciting speech that worked wonders to rejuvenate the flaccid atmosphere. In just a minute the class had come alive again.
"I'm just going to touch on another quick case study," I said, getting pumped. "This time, we have the October 1998 campaign of – "
"Sakuraba."
Just when I was about to start having fun, the lecturer ground me to a halt. He tapped on his watch, giving me the awful news…
"You're out of time. Wrap it up."
In disbelief I protested, "B-But sir, I… I only just started…"
"Each group is given ten minutes to present. Your teammates spent nine out of the maximum ten, so you only had one left. I'm sorry, but time's up."
My face went blue with shock. Well, at least I think it did; I didn't have a mirror handy to see my own face. Did all the effort I had put into making my own speech a smash hit just disappear in a puff of smoke? Just like that? I was rooted to the spot, not quite ready to accept my fate. I had worked so hard for this, so where's my fat crowning moment of awesomeness, huh?
I returned to my seat in a daze. This was supposed to be a simple group project. It shouldn't go like this…
There was a general aura of sympathy for me all around. But at the same time, I got the feeling that they were glad to not be in my shoes.
Afterwards, when classes were over, Lusty and Burnout were nowhere to be seen. They had no parting words for me, didn't say anything like "it's been fun working together". No further apologies for causing me worry and making a mess of themselves. Their job was done so now it was time for them to vanish and go where the wind carried them. It's safe to say I wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore, and you know what? I bet the feeling's mutual. They only cared about their own insignificant little worlds.
The experience was so humiliating that it was hard to put it behind me during work. No wonder the boss was yelling at me so much. I couldn't concentrate well and was making mistakes left and right.
"How many times have I told you, boy? ! The three shoyu ramen go to the table on the far side, the tonkotsu ramen belongs to the elderly lady in the corner seat, and you need to give the side order of dumplings to the latest customer who came in!"
"Er… um, wh-which one is the latest customer –"
"You idiot!" he snapped. "It's the one with the blue shirt! There is only one person with a blue shirt at the moment! He came in about ten minutes ago. And it's inexcusable to make him wait that long! Now get going!"
That was the longest day of my life and I was glad for once that all things must come to an end. My brain, pushed to the limits from the trials I was forced to overcome, had all but turned to slush inside my skull. I had to hold my head steady to stop it from spilling out of my ear.
I was supposed to go to sleep and be relieved that my ordeal was over, but why couldn't I relax? Was there something I had missed? My shift for the evening was done, and I already turned in my report. Actually, all the assignments that bogged me down the past two weeks had been handed in. There couldn't be anything else…
"Oh…"
Then I remembered.
"Crud… CRUD CRUD CRUD…! ! !"
Tomorrow's test… I forgot all about it! I was so preoccupied with everything that I didn't even touch my study materials! Out of the frying pan and into the fire…
I was so screwed!
XOXOXOXOXO
Just my luck to start my Friday with the 8 am class and a head full of sleep.
I was up all of last night, cramming as much as I could. I had to turn to my entire supply of coffee and energy drinks, even ginseng… whatever that could keep me awake. As I crawled on into the wee hours of the morning, it became harder to keep my eyelids open. Not even the cheeky photos of Eri in her underwear helped anymore and I eventually dozed off at my desk. When the alarm clock rang I clocked in at a grand total of two hours of sleep.
But that's okay. I'd have to meet up with Eri at the bus-stop. I was banking on her to help wake me up with her positive energy.
"Good morning, Neku!" she chirped. "Still asleep, I see."
"Yeah," I yawned. "I pulled an all-nighter."
"An all-nighter? Again?"
"I had to burn the midnight oil for the test today. That's why I'm still half-asleep. Got any tips on how to wake up fully?"
"Hmmm…" Nonchalantly, she replied, "How about I slap you to smithereens? That should do the trick."
"Uh… no."
"Then I can give you a kick to the groin if that works."
I recoiled in fright. She'd done that to me once and I sure as heck didn't want to experience the pain again! "Th-That's even worse!"
"I brought a hardcover textbook with me today. A nice big whack in the head with it should be sufficient – "
"Are you trying to kill me? !" I spluttered. "Why are all your methods so violent? !"
She sniggered. "Don't worry, I was joking. But you're wide awake now, aren't you? The best way to rouse someone out of their sleep is to scare them. That's what I heard anyway, so I've been meaning to try that someday. I'm convinced that works now."
I sighed. "That's not good for my health, you know…"
"Then you should sleep enough in the first place," she retorted, "instead of relying on screwball methods to achieve a quick fix."
"You're the one who suggested them in the first place!"
During the bus ride, after a time, Eri claimed, "You know, this is very strange of you."
"Strange? What did I do?"
"You don't usually do all-nighters." She tilted her head to one side, with a finger pressed against her cheek. "You've always been so organized, Neku. All your life, you never needed to stay up too late to do anything, so you always began each day nice and refreshed. You're good at making time, see? I've been your friend since high school. I should know. That's what I mean by strange."
"I had a lot of coursework I needed to take care of, so I didn't get to study much. Plus I have my job, and – "
"You're taking a huge hit to your health like this. You need the proper amount of sleep. This isn't going to continue the way it is now, is it? I've seen you suffer for far too long."
There she went again. She's getting herself worked up over nothing. Didn't I tell her a million times already that everything would be fine under my watch? Why did she have to keep coming up with these doomsday scenarios? Sure, I wasn't the suavest guy in town but I was making progress. Would it kill her to notice the good things I'd been up to?
"Eri," I said wryly, "it's only been two weeks. A little bit of hard work isn't going to kill me. In fact, I've never felt more alive than before!"
"Even though you're half-dead with sleep depravity?"
"You don't need to get on my case like that," I grumbled. "I'm working my hardest here. I'm just… trying to be a responsible guy, you know? Everything I've been doing, it's all for my own good and some. Stop worrying, okay?"
Her brow scrunched up in obvious dislike of my tone, but she tried to be firm without making a scene.
"It's not up to you," she countered, "to decide whether I should be worried or not. I can't help how I am."
"Then at least try not to make a big fuss out of it…"
Her tone became firmer. This was the 'no-nonsense' mode she used whenever she had an important point to get across. "Neku, it's not just your current state of health that's gotten me in a tizzy, it's a lot of other things, really… The point is, your current lifestyle isn't very… reassuring to me. I don't think you're living life the right way."
Those words both confounded and frustrated me. I had been accomplishing so much, yet she refused to recognize the effort I had been putting in. It's like… my actions had the opposite effect of what I was hoping for. Why couldn't she see the me that was hardworking and willing to go the extra mile?
"Eri, look. Why – "
"Why? Why am I being such a pain in the behind? Is that what you're trying to say, mister?" She was so uncannily close to what I had in mind that I was surprised into silence. "Well, if I'm right, then I've got just the answer for you."
"Wha…?"
"Because I'm your girlfriend."
I didn't really get it at the time. I guess it's because of my fuzzy head. Just then, her college loomed into view and it was time for her to get off. She lingered around for a moment or two, leaving me with a few words to mull over.
"Put yourself in my shoes. That's all I ask of you."
Then she was gone and I was left to ponder the meaning of her mysterious message.
I was about to do some deep thinking just as she suggested but was quickly waylaid by urgent thoughts of my upcoming test. Goodness, I just realized there's this one chapter I hadn't covered much of!
When I arrived at college, the class was abuzz with excitement and activity. Everyone was exchanging notes and recapping on past lessons. I quickly joined a group of my closer friends and lost no time doing last-minute speed learning with them, although it unnerved me to see how much more prepared they were than me. They were ready to fight. On the other hand, I came here to get my butt whupped, pretty much.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the classroom door swung open. Actually, I think we all did. Regardless of whether you were good at studies or a total flunk, no one liked exams. They were a necessary evil. But then it was the class rep who sauntered in, not the lecturer, so thank goodness for small favours.
"Uh, I got good news and bad," he said. We were all ears and he gave us the good news first. "The lecturer is caught up in an emergency so he wouldn't be in and the test has been postponed."
Most of us whooped. Well, that's good news alright! But nothing comes without a price…
"The bad news is that it'll be held tomorrow."
Delight turned to annoyance and despair. The class was pretty vocal about it.
"Who the hell holds a test on a Saturday? !" called out someone, to much agreement. Several other classmates joined in the outcry, leaving the poor class rep to try and calm us down.
For me, this was a godsend. An extra day for studies. Couldn't be bad. Except I found out that the test would be held in the afternoon, which made me realize that I wouldn't be able to hold that overdue cooking lesson with Eri since I needed the morning to cram. Doing it in the evening was a no-go too – I was slated to help out for the gathering at the ramen joint tomorrow night. Eri had been clamouring to learn the secrets of radish soup from me since last week and I'd promised her. She definitely wouldn't like this but if I explained myself I was sure she would understand.
Hopefully, anyway.
XOXOXOXOXO
Saturday morning began with this charming one-liner courtesy of Eri.
"Eh? ! Postponed again? !"
Well, technically, that's two lines, but you get the idea.
So it's Saturday and Eri appeared at my doorstep, eager for the cooking lesson I owed her. The news I had came as a rude surprise.
"I'm sorry, Eri!" I pressed my palms together in an apologetic fashion. "I know you've been waiting for this but I really, absolutely can't make it…"
"You've got a test today, huh, Neku? That's… hardly convenient."
"I've got to cram and stuff. It'll be a hell of a ride. Once again I'm awfully sorry… How about another time?"
Eri was quick to brush it off. "Hmmm, it can't be helped. Oh well, it's too bad about today, but you should be free for tonight at least, right?"
"…Tonight? Uh… what's happening tonight?"
What was with that blank stare she was giving me right now? Did I just say something strange, something outrageous? Her eyes suddenly lost the usual sheen and looked like two holes gaping out of her head. Creepy.
"Neku," she said in a hollow voice, "could it be… you actually forgot?"
"Wh-What?"
What was she going on about? There was nothing I could recall. I was reduced to taking random guesses, none of which made their mark.
"Did you want to have that cooking lesson tonight?" I said. "Or was there an errand I should be taking care of? But… But I've got overtime this evening. My boss needs my assistance for a party at his ramen joint…"
"You…" Her voice was even quieter. "You did forget… You even agreed to take on an extra night of work."
"Huh? What… What is it?"
Her pretty face was marred by a growing sense of disappointment. I knew that look. It made me uneasy to see her shoulders slumped like that.
"E-Eri…?"
"…idiot."
She called me an idiot? Why did she call me that? What was it that she claimed slipped my mind? I wouldn't know unless she told me, but was it something I was expected to remember?
"Ah well," she sighed with a limp shrug, "maybe you'll remember along the way. That'd be great. By all means, take your time and think about it. You have one whole day, so… no rush."
"Eri, hang on… This…"
"Sorry, I shouldn't take up any more of your time. You've got to study for that test… Plus, Shiki's been pestering me to go shopping with her for clothing materials. I might as well get to that."
Completely tongue-tied, I could only call out to her in vain as she walked away. "Hey, wait!"
But she didn't linger around. I was left at the doorstep with a million questions I couldn't answer.
As far as the clues went, I must have arranged to do something together with Eri. A date, most likely. What kind, though? It couldn't be the movies. Not only was there nothing we wanted to watch, but if there was I'd have gotten the tickets way before I had the chance to forget. Seats can fill up rather quickly at the cinema, you see, and a single moment of procrastination can lead to frustration down the road. Were we going on a trip? Like, to an onsen? If so, I'd have made preparations such as making reservations and packing my luggage. I'd also have been more aware of it, so it wasn't that either. Were we simply eating out for dinner?
I didn't know anymore. The rest of the day left me constantly haunted by this chunk of doubt that wouldn't let go of my mind.
XOXOXOXOXO
After wrestling with the test, which I found to be fairly hard, I had scarcely enough time to grab a bite at WildKat's before I was due to show up at my workplace. Try as I might, I couldn't get Eri out of my head, but don't be mistaken: it was as far from a lovey-dovey daydream as it could roam.
"…idiot." Again and again it echoed in my skull. "…idiot… idiot… idiot…"
Fine, maybe I was an idiot… But why? I get that I'd been an awkward guy all my life, but anyone could see I was trying my hardest. Working out at the gym, taking on leadership duties, doing part-time work… and two jobs at that! Once or twice the thought even occurred to me that I should take up martial arts classes when things weren't so hectic. The crime rate has been pretty high as of late and I wanted to be able to protect her.
Could she really be that unobservant? That's not possible… When I told her I found a job, she was so happy for me. So then, why –
"Why the long face, boss?"
"Huh? Oh… Mr H."
"If you don't eat up," he said, with that trademark lazy grin, "your pumpkin soup's gonna grow cold. …Seriously, though, you look like you could use a facelift."
"D-Do I look that glum? Ah, sorry."
Mr Hanekoma swiped an empty cup and filled it up from the coffee machine. He took a good swig. "I don't have a lot of customers at the moment. I can spare some time to listen, if you like."
He may be an aging codger with a slightly strange outlook on life and a frightening addiction to coffee, but he's seen much of the world. Perhaps he could tell me what I should do.
"So, um… Mr H? Well, actually…"
I told him the whole story, every detail of it. There was the part where Kariya warned me to be mindful of the competition willing to take Eri away from my hands. Then I told him about all of the various things I had been doing to better myself, as well as when my new schedule started to take its toll on me.
"Eri started out okay with me," I sighed, "but lately she's been pretty harsh, saying that I'm not taking care of myself… And now she even calls me an idiot for supposedly forgetting what it is that's going down this evening. Long story short, I don't get it. She makes it seem like something's wrong with the direction my life is going, but I haven't a clue as to what."
He refilled his cup for the third time. Loved his java, that guy. "So as I see it, you've been working hard for yourself as well as for her. But somewhere along the line, it all went wrong."
"I keep telling myself it'll work out, but I'm starting to think it may not be so easy after all. If I could just figure out what the problem is, I should be able to get back on track. Mr H, what do you think?"
A fatherly smile emerged from his stubble-ridden face. But just when I thought he'd enlighten me with some hard-earned wisdom, he gave a chuckle. "I think if you don't hurry up, you'll be late for your job."
My eyes snapped to the clock hanging on the nearby wall. He was right. "Oh, crud… I didn't realize how long I took talking!" I wolfed down the remainder of my pumpkin soup with lightning speed and scrambled to leave, but he stopped me.
"Before you go, Phones, I should probably leave you with some cud to chew."
"What's that?"
"You don't need to be rich and strong to protect your loved ones."
"Um… didn't you tell me that before? Like, way back. Two weeks ago?"
"I sure did. And if you haven't worked out the meaning yourself yet, here's a big clue: you can strive to become the strongest man in town, or the richest, or the most talented, but… if you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning."
Those sounded like some wise words, but again to my chagrin, I couldn't understand them. First Eri, now him… Why must everyone talk to me in riddles? Sometimes all I wanted was a straightforward approach. Could I help it if I didn't want to have to think so much at times? Just give me the advice already.
"I… uh… I don't know what you mean, sorry."
"You'll get it soon enough, Phones," he said with a generous stroke of his chin. "Now hurry along. You don't want to go deaf from your boss' yelling."
I repeated what he said in my mind over and over, trying to distill it into its purest form. Most of it was simple, but the real head-scratcher was the part where "if you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning". But I love Eri very much. That's why I'd been keeping myself busy. Unfortunately, that much was all I could scratch off of the surface. Just what was that missing puzzle piece?
Overtime at the ramen joint was a non-stop deluge of work. Some wealthy old fellow had booked the entire place to himself and a whole entourage of his guests – businessmen and other posh-looking individuals who liked to drone on about making money. I was kept busy taking orders, serving dishes, refilling glasses of tea… and then switching places at halftime with the guys in the kitchen to wash up and prepare food. But this was nothing new; I'd been on this job for two whole weeks. The boss was still sharp-tongued as ever… He was barking at us employees so much, it almost felt like an in-joke.
Patience, I told myself. This job wasn't the best in the world, but it was a stepping stone to greater things. I intended to quit at some point once I felt I was ready to take on a more challenging – and better-paying – job. Letting my imagination loose was exciting.
I just wished I could do something about the mystery behind Eri's frustration. Asking her straight in the face would be the fastest option, but it was also the most dangerous. She might get really angry… What's a hapless guy like myself to do?
Without splurging on details, let's fast forward to the end of my night. When the shop closed up and the last table had been wiped down, my boss called me over just as the rest of the staff was leaving. When the place was quite empty, he had big news for me. Surprisingly, he wasn't as grumpy as he usually was. Not surprisingly, there was a good reason for that.
"Alright, boy, you don't need to come to work again."
I looked at him blankly. "I… I beg your pardon?"
"I said I don't require your services anymore. Here's your severance." He practically forced me to take the envelope.
I was frozen stiff with disbelief. I had only been here for two weeks, and already he didn't need me? At the very least, I ought to know why I was given the boot. As gingerly and politely as I could handle it, I asked him. But his reply was a painfully brief and inconclusive one.
"No reason. Now get out."
He must want to get rid of me that badly. Couldn't blame him, really. I had committed blunder after blunder the whole time I was employed and, frankly, this might be my comeuppance. I knew I had done lots of wrong and little right. In his eyes, I was more disposable than a wad of used tissue paper. He couldn't even be bothered to explain why he had fired me. The sooner I was gone from his life, the sooner he could celebrate.
With envelope in hand, I trudged out the back door and nearly fell over onto my face when he actually pushed me from behind, as though I was taking too long making my exit. Then the door slammed shut and it was the last time I would see him. Maybe it's for the better. That kind of working environment couldn't be good for my health.
You know, when I mentioned that I wanted to eventually quit, I didn't mean now…
I opened the envelope and leafed through my money. "Damn," I hissed, "he gave me 200 yen less."
200 yen is a paltry amount to get worked up over, but this was a matter of principle. It rightfully belonged to me, so I should get it back. Then again, let's face it. It couldn't be worth the trouble of hounding my now ex-boss for it. I gave up and made the long walk back home. If anything good came out of this, it's that I didn't need to see his ugly bulldog face again. I still had the Sunday job at my friend's bakery so it's not like I had been left completely high and dry. It only meant that I earned a little less.
Now what do I do with Eri… Still couldn't figure out what she wanted to accomplish with me tonight. Seriously, I hadn't the slightest clue! Don't tell me she… she…
"You idiot," her imaginary voice drawled, "I'm so eager to break Rule #3 with you, but you keep me waiting… There'll be no more excuses tonight."
Before my deranged mind could solidify images of her lying in bed wearing nothing but belts, I willed my free hand to smack myself upside the head. I actually did it, you know. It stung and people were staring.
Come on, man… focus! This was no time for bondage fantasies. Didn't I see how displeased she was with me? Something serious was going down tonight and I must have botched it by now, seeing how late the night had gotten. I was out of options and at my wit's end.
Alright, I'll go pay her a visit and ask her about it. She'd be very unhappy, but it's better than running around without a clue…
However, she wasn't at home. I tried calling her but she didn't answer either. Was she that angry? Anyway, where could she have gone at this time of the night? Was she out with her drinking buddies again? I thought she had reformed herself into a teetotaler. She gave up on alcohol, so she had no reason to keep hanging out at bars, unless it's to socialize with her friends.
As I lingered in front of her doorstep thinking of the next best course of action, I absentmindedly browsed through my phone's contents and presently found myself looking through the list of messages exchanged between us. As per her famously sunny disposition, whatever she wrote was super-cheery and almost always with a fun emoticon slapped on, even when it was just a single sentence like "i gotta work now honey, dun feel lonely without me XD".
One of the latest ones was a photo of an advertisement that she sent me.
"'Winter Indie Music Festival 20XX… Feast your ears on the biggest blowout event to cap off a stellar year! Featuring the hottest stars from…'"
Hmmm… Why did that seem familiar?
Then I read the accompanying message. "So enthused!" she wrote. "Cant wait! Lets b sure 2 go 2gether! :D"
Oh no… Now I knew…
It dawned on me at last. The thing Eri claimed I forgot… I remembered what it was now. All of what had happened over the duration of the last two weeks that had any direct relation to my predicament came flooding back to me. I made a promise to go with her to this concert… and I just let it slip by like it was nothing important. Unbelievable. I actually let this happen! I even accepted an extra night's worth of work. How much of an idiot could I be?
Now that I knew what had gotten her knickers in a twist, it wasn't too hard to guess where she was right now. She wasn't at home because she had gone to watch the concert… without me. It's half past eleven now and close to wrapping up, but if I hurried I might still be able to catch her…
XOXOXOXOXO
Here I was. A-East. It should come as no surprise that the indie music festival would be held at the biggest concert stage in Shibuya. Midnight was fast approaching, and I guess the event was all but over by now, judging by the concert-goers who were pouring out in full force. They were probably hundreds… even thousands strong. It's just that many people. How was I going to find Eri? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle was very small and the haystack very big.
It would be impossible to locate her in this throng. I dialed her number again, hoping to reach her this time. Come on, pick up the phone… She couldn't be far…
There was no response for a good while. Even over the murmur of the crowd, I'd have picked out her ringtone by now. It was loud, unique and stank of The Prince's sappy lyrics which I was loathe to listen to. Was her phone on silent mode? Or had she left long before I arrived? Or maybe… she wasn't even here to begin with?
It would be easy to cut off my search and contact her tomorrow. She'd have to be home at some point. But I couldn't wait. I wanted to apologise to her now. I wanted her to know I was still kind and sincere and… gosh darn it, more than anything I needed to tell her that despite the mistakes I'd made I still loved her.
Just as I was about to get truly desperate – I even contemplated yelling for her at the top of my voice – I felt someone whack me softly on the top of my head with what felt like a karate chop. Nothing painful, but it startled me somewhat. I spun round to face the attacker…
…and what do you know, there she was with a wry sneer on her face.
"Well, well," she snorted, "look who decided to show up late."
"E-Eri…"
Whenever I made a promise to someone, I would keep it. I wasn't the type to break them later on and clean up my own mess apologising. If I couldn't do something, I wouldn't claim that I could and ruin everyone's expectations of me. It just wasn't my style. That's why this was a blow to my pride.
"Eri, I… I need to talk to you. About… everything."
Now with a more wistful look on her face, she said softly, "Yeah… I think we should. These days, it feels like I can't even recognize you."
Yeah… I couldn't even recognize myself.
XOXOXOXOXO
At this hour, the park centered around the Statue of Hachiko was nearly empty, but we managed to get some snacks from the adjoining Sunshine fast-food restaurant just before closing time.
Eri popped a French fry into her mouth. "Alright, Neku. If you have something to say, I'll hear you out."
I jumped at the opportunity to make amends. "I'm sorry about everything, Eri… It shames me to say it, but I totally forgot about the concert. We were supposed to go together."
"You're not usually this forgetful," she noted, surprisingly without any hint of spite. "Not when it comes to our dates and, well, everything in general. I mean, you'd been saying you wanted to watch Concrete Guys in action, but you just up and missed it altogether. They were pretty good, by the way. As was Ryoko*L and the rest. So it's a huge loss that you didn't show up."
"It bothers me more that I couldn't go with you." The guilt was tremendous and ate at me from the inside. "Sorry… I just… well, messed up, I guess…"
Eri took her sweet time chewing those French fries. "Neku, is there something you're not telling me?"
Her question puzzled me. "What are you talking about?"
"You've been doing a lot of things these days and tiring yourself out in the process, so I've been wondering if there's a reason that's compelling enough for you to go through all that trouble. I'm just concerned that you may have defeated the purpose for doing them in the first place."
"But I… I'm sure that I'm – "
"In any case, I think I ought to at least have an idea of what you've been up to, wouldn't you agree? As your girlfriend, I have a right to know. So as my boyfriend, you ought to open up to me more. Talk to me. Let me in."
Let me in? Now that's nostalgic. Back when I was still an antisocial guy who hated the world, those were the exact same words Shiki said to me in a desperate effort to know me better. The barriers I used to erect around myself had all but gone now, so in a sense, it's funny to be told to tear them down again.
A fair amount of time and two packets of French fries later, I had told Eri everything.
"Kariya had a strong point to drive home," I said, "or… well, that's what I thought, anyway. So I'd been on the lookout for things to do to improve myself. I know it might sound stupid to you, but I don't really want to lose you to someone else just because I'm not as good as the rest of Shibuya's male population."
The whole time I was talking, Eri just listened and said not a single word. I have to admit I got scared at some point that she'd be bored of me, but such wasn't the case, thankfully. But now when it was her turn to talk, the first thing that came out of her mouth in a long while was…
"You really are an idiot, Neku."
"Ugh… I know…" So blunt!
"And I can think of at least two reasons."
"Two? Wh-Why two?"
"First reason!" In a dramatic fashion she whisked out her hand like a whip and speared my nose with her fingertip, pushing it upwards to fully expose the nostrils. Then, keeping it in place and ignoring my feeble protests, she spoke very seriously, "You say you've been trying hard to be a good boyfriend for me. I appreciate the effort, Neku, and for that I thank you. However, you got too adventurous for your own good and ended up shouldering too many responsibilities. You found it more and more difficult to cope with the workload, and as a result you forgot to take one thing into account. Or rather… one person."
"One… person?" No, wait… Could it be…? !
"Yes." A flash of sadness crossed her face. "You forgot about me."
In an instant I realized the stupidity of my actions. All this time I had been going on about constant self-improvement and ensuring my place by her side and keeping the competition at bay and all that nonsense. Although that's a reasonable path of logic to follow, there was one part where I went wrong: I spent too much time concentrating on my new schedule. Unable to handily deal with the commitments I had brought upon myself, she began to slip further and further from my mind until I had effectively neglected her. See how ironic that was? It wasn't even funny.
Bits and pieces from earlier conversations I had with various friends returned to haunt me and remind me of my failure.
"If you do too many things in one go, it wouldn't really be a balanced lifestyle anymore."
"Your attitude is in the right direction, Phones, but you still shouldn't overdo it."
"I never once thought of you as a weakling, but I'm not sure that what you're doing now is really the right thing."
"If you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning."
"Neku, you can't go on like this. You'll only get worse, in more ways than one. There are some things you can't really neglect. I'm not just talking about your own health, either. There are… others."
"So you see," said Eri, "the person you toiled for is the same person you pushed to the back of your head. That's why you forgot about our concert date. It's because you were too busy thinking of the next thing you could do to impress me."
Eri was all the things I wasn't. I guess a part of me wanted to be like her. I wanted to be her equal. Not… someone less. But in my quest for personal growth, I lost sight of the very person I was striving for.
Apologies tumbled out of my mouth in profuse streams. "Eri, I… I'm so sorry. You're right. I just never noticed until now. I was blind. Blind and… well, stupid."
"You've seen the light, finally."
"Will you forgive me?"
"Not yet." I expected her to say yes, so I was really taken aback. "I still haven't touched on the second reason. …You look like a pig, by the way. Pretty funny."
"I-It'd be nice if you could take your finger away now."
Eri ignored me and kept talking. Each word she spoke was heartfelt, rich with sincerity.
"Neku, I think you still can't grasp just how much I feel for you. I've been looking all my whole life for that one guy whom I can settle down and have a stable relationship with. In the past, I went out with lots of guys, hoping that one of them would turn out to be more than just charm and sparkles… wondering if this one guy would finally be Mr Right."
She finally let go of my nose and stood up to stretch her legs and pace about all slow and languid. And she continued, "But whenever I wanted to talk to them about heavy stuff like relationship commitments and all that, they'd just switch off and try to divert my attention to other things. 'Why worry so much?' they'd say. They couldn't understand me at all."
Now she twirled round to look my way. "You're different though. You're that perfect blend of fun and seriousness that I've been searching for. Some days you can be great to joke around with, but whenever I needed a long chat about life you'd always be there to lend an ear. …Hmmm. Did I say this before? Never mind.
"So you see!" Her finger snapped back to my nose again, just when I thought it could get some rest. "If there's one person I need, it's you. I've had enough of searching around for guys only to be disappointed. You think I'm going to go through all that trouble now that I've found someone compatible? Nah, I'll just stick with you and be happy. And if that's not a plan, I don't know what is."
You have no idea how relieved I was. My trust in her was strengthened and suddenly everything Kariya said about being competitive had no relevance anymore.
"G-Great to hear," I said quietly, "but your finger is still – "
"Sorry, I can't get enough of your piggy nose." How could she say that with a poker face? "Anyway, there's no need for you to suffer for the sake of your own betterment. Just pace yourself and you'll be fine, like me! Now, if you can tell me what your plans are from here on out, maybe I'll let go of your nose."
I didn't have much time to think it through, but I was quick to learn my lessons and already formulated more or less of an idea of what I should be doing in the very near future.
"I'll cut down on my workload," I began. "Definitely not going to juggle two jobs at the same time. For now, I'll just stick with the Sunday job at the bakery." In a self-deprecating tone, I half-joked, "Since I was fired from my last job, I already got that covered."
"Your boss sounds like a total scumbag, by the way," she spat, angry at my maltreatment. "I'm glad you got out of that circle of hell. It's not worth your time!"
"Yeah… A real jerk, that one. I don't think it's right to treat your employees the way he did."
"Forget about him. If you're up for it," she kindly offered, "I can recommend you for a position at Tea & Orange. It's a lot nicer over there and they pay better than the chicken feed your ex-boss called a salary. You do need to go for an interview and all but I can put in a few good words to tip the odds in your favour."
I couldn't really see myself in a tuxedo waiting on women and charming their heads off. "Um, I-I'm not cut out for butler work but I'll keep my options open… So, as for coursework, there's not much I can do on that end, but if I'm going to be in another group project, I'll make sure I'm paired up with actually competent people. It'd save me a lot of time and money."
"Money?"
"For buying aspirin."
"Ah."
"Lastly, I'm thinking of limiting gym activities to the weekends as opposed to every day. It'll be less tiring that way."
"Why don't you take up swimming instead?"
"How is swimming any better than the gym?" It was hard for me to make the comparison. "All you do is goof around in the water."
"Ha! That's where you're wrong. Swimming is actually really good exercise. It greatly improves stamina and cardiopulmonary performance, and because moving against the water resistance requires strength, it builds up muscle too. I swim at least twice a week, three times if I feel like it. That's how I keep my figure. You should give it a go."
"If it's so good as you put it, then I think I will. I'm a horrible swimmer, though. I wouldn't dare to go swimming by myself."
She chuckled. "Back in high school, you were just as famous at sinking like a rock as you were at baseball."
The repressed memories flooded back and I shuddered. "Can't remember how many times I had to be saved during PE lessons at the pool. The horror…"
"Don't you worry! I'll teach you properly!" She patted her chest with her free hand in a show of confidence. "Under my guidance, you'll be a pro. I've been skinny-dipping throughout my teens, so I'm a natural! You'll be one lucky guy to learn from m– "
What did she say? ! "S-Skinny-dipping? !"
"Oooh, yeah. Hee hee. Don't tell anyone, 'kay? It's a secret – hoi! Don't bleed all over my finger!"
She pulled it away in a hurry and immediately started wiping it clean with a napkin. My nose… free at last, and gushing like a faucet. But even when I was struggling to maintain control, I couldn't contain my own curiosity.
"Wh-Where'd you go for something like that anyway? Certainly not at the public pool? !"
"Eh? Back in my home town," she explained, "there's a forest with a small pond in it… No one goes round there, so I always went for a dip with my friends."
"Friends? ! What kind of friends did you have? !"
"Ha ha ha… Relax, Neku! They're just two or three of my gal pals and the rest of them are the neighbourhood kids. Did you seriously think I was going to invite guys to our little parties? The only boys with us were like, oh, three? What'd the young'uns know about puberty anyway?" Then she laughed some more, oblivious to my growing uneasiness. A girl, inviting her pals for a naked swim and letting kids tag along and do the same thing? ! I couldn't even start to imagine the very scenario without getting a headache. Or a nosebleed.
"Good God, what have you been corrupting the minds of today's children with?"
Still giggling, she waved it off and all talk about swimming in the buff was officially over. "Why don't we go to the pool on Sundays? Your bakery job wouldn't even last half the day, so that should leave plenty of time for us."
"Okay, that's a plan. That should work."
"It will work. Cooking on Saturdays and swimming on Sundays? That's twice the fun on weekends! Don't you think it's cool to be each other's teachers?"
Eri was hyped up with our new weekend plans. Although I couldn't find the exact words to express my gratitude more precisely, I felt that for now, this one should do the trick.
"Thanks."
With a broad smile, she giggled, "Don't mention it. It's my way of repaying you for all the time you spent being my Sensei in the kitchen. I'm your pillar of support, and you mine. Rule #2, remember?"
I stood up and we were face-to-face. I grasped her by the shoulders gently and looked right into her eyes. "Eri, I'm sorry about tonight. I made a huge blunder and I want to make it up to you, but I just don't know how yet. So I guess it's your call."
"Really? I like it when I'm given such a large degree of freedom. Well then, I'll take you up on your offer and think up of something. Oh… it's already past midnight. Shall we head home?"
The hour hand of my watch was well on its way to one in the morning. I was getting sleepy too. It had been a crazy day with a test in the morning, work in the evening, and a chase after my loved one. I needed a break. Thank goodness I was able to patch things up with her. Here's my new rule of thumb: never take advice from someone who has never followed it!
Well, alright, for what it was worth, that advice still had some bite to it. But next time, I'll think through things a little more carefully. A single mistake early on could snowball into a complex situation down the road. That's a lesson well learnt.
Meanwhile, during the walk home, Eri filled me in with more stories of her teenage nudist days.
I pointed out, "You are your friends eventually stopped skinny-dipping at some point, right?"
She broke into a laugh – the kind you have when you remember a good joke. "If that hadn't happened, our secret swimming club would still be alive to this very day."
"What's 'that'?"
"Just a wee incident we had… It was a normal afternoon and we were having a good time, but then ol' Kogoro had to come and spoil our fun."
"Who's Kogoro? !" I gulped. "That wouldn't be the nickname of some stalker, would it?"
"Nah. It's what we affectionately call the local brown bear."
A… A bear? ! Eri had a run-in with a bear? ! Well, I suppose you could expect to bump into some unsavory creature every time you venture into a forest!
But when she talked about it, she spoke with a faraway look in her eyes, like she was thinking back about an old chum. "He's usually nice and friendly," she sighed. "He leaves the townsfolk alone as long as we don't get too near to his family. As someone once learnt the hard way when he strayed too far into his cave."
"I… I'm not sure that constitutes 'nice' and 'friendly'…"
"Us lot of youngsters and Kogoro… We had this unspoken agreement where we'd take turns swimming in the forest pond. But I guess he absolutely wanted to use it that afternoon and we were in the way. We were so freaked out when he charged us that we just up and ran and almost forgot about our clothes. We never went back in there ever since, which was a pity… But on the plus side, we're all great swimmers!" She flashed a peace sign with her free hand.
"A-All's well that ends well, huh?"
"Yup! It's a bit unsafe to head back to the pond now with Kogoro guarding it so jealously, but… God as my witness, one day we'll return to being friends, him and us. And then I can take you there for a swim!"
I wasn't keen on playing with the risk of being some animal's dinner.
"Well?" she quipped energetically. "Sound good?"
"As much as I like the thought, Eri, I'll have to pass. Thanks."
…
…
Author's note:
What Neku went through mirrors a similar experience I suffered during my college days. I was the leader of a group project, and one of the members didn't come at all on the very day we were going to do this presentation. I explained to the unimpressed lecturer about our situation and he grudgingly offered to set aside another day just for our presentation. None of us was happy and I really scolded the missing guy when he showed up long after the class was over. That was a terrible time. As far-fetched as it may sound, you better believe it!
I'm very fussy when it comes to editing my work. I take the time to go through the story a few times to make sure it reads right. For example, the scene where the sleepy Neku meets up with Eri at the bus-stop was originally supposed to go in a weirder direction: Eri offers to kiss him to wake him up, but he's so sleepy he ends up making out with the signpost by mistake. When I looked back at that scene, I was like, "The hell did I write? That's not gonna work." So I took it out. I'm glad I did.
I also took out this one part at the very end where Eri forces Neku to wear a series of speedos just so she could see him half-naked and stare at his butt. It didn't mesh well with the story, so out it went. In its place is the story about Kogoro the "friendly" brown bear.
Um, yeah, editing is very important.
Stand by for Chapter 34, everyone. It's on its way. Bye!