She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 34)
by BrDPirateMan

This is a bit sudden, but my Christmas break had recently ended and the new year was already ushered in.

In light of the lessons I learnt from last year's blunders, I resolved not to work harder but smarter. There's a big difference, see. I also stopped going to the gym for now. Eri suggested that swimming was a better idea, and given its various health benefits, that may be true so I was all for it.

"Whoa, look at that babe!"

"Who is that girl? Check out those curves!"

"She's so hot. I bet she already has a boyfriend."

Ah, sorry. It seems my habit of leaving the details for later has created another dose of narrative inertia. But these first few minutes are so crucial in keeping you invested for the rest of the chapter.

At any rate, here's the lowdown on the story this time. It's a dreadfully cold winter afternoon outside but in here, at the local indoor pool, it's nice and warm enough that everyone's in their swimsuits. That's right, I was here to swim and Eri was going to be my instructor.

The majority of the pool's male population continued to gawk at her in wonder as she sashayed along looking absurdly good in a maroon bikini. I was a lucky man. I wanted to stare at her as hard as I could until I got a splitting headache. That's just how blessed I was.

Eri skipped over with a spring in her step. "Sorry to make you wait. I was adjusting my swimsuit."

"Whoa, Eri." Gosh… She's a work of art! "You look fantastic."

"I always look fantastic," she proclaimed in a vain yet goodnatured manner, doing that little hand motion she was so fond of doing whenever she was in a playful mood. "Eri Tanikawa settles for nothing less. You should know that."

What was that strange murmur that suddenly came out of nowhere? It sounded like it was coming from… the guys? Curious, I strained my ears to try and make out what they were saying.

One of them grumbled in obvious disappointment, "She does have a boyfriend! And it's this freaking stick figure!"

"The humanity!" cried another.

"Why do all the nice ones get taken – ow! I didn't mean what I said, honey… Sorry!"

Ha! How's that, fellas? One of Shibuya's most attractive women indeed has a boyfriend… and it's me! Take that, potential pursuers! You're not going anywhere with her. I was the only one she had eyes for!

"Neku?" she said, peering into my face. "Why are you chuckling to yourself? It's a bit scary."

"W-Was I actually laughing? Ah, sorry. I just had a stray thought of something funny I read recently."

She shrugged it off and joined me on the deck chair where I was sitting. There wasn't a lot of space to go round and we sat together along the longish side like a pair of sardines. She was gorgeous as usual… From the length of her willowy legs, to the smoothness of her midriff, to that flawless chest fitted so snugly in her top… From head to toe, she was truly worthy of more than just a second glance.

However, such beauty posed a slight problem. I get that bikinis were pretty much the usual attire at the pool, but if she was trying to teach me how to swim and every inch of her amazingly crafted body was right in my face, then how was I supposed to concentrate?

Suddenly, her velvety voice uttered my name. My heart bounced about all over the inside of my body. It hurt.

"Neku…"

"Whuh – um, y-y-yes?!"

My back stiffened when she ran a finger along my spine seductively. With her breath in my ear, she continued to slather every word with oodles of homebred sexiness.

"I'm so happy we get to spend time together like this. So let's make this swimming lesson a good one."

"Y-Yeah! Of… Of course!"

She tugged at one of the straps of her bikini top. Her chest… I could have sworn it jiggled slightly… very slightly. Just a tiny bounce. But I saw it. I definitely saw –

"I see you simply can't take your eyes off these puppies." Ack. I was caught ogling! Luckily she didn't mind at all. "Relax, I don't blame you. A man as healthy as yourself… It's only natural you'd get some urges around your… equally healthy girlfriend."

"Oh, um, s-sorry?"

This kind of talk was starting to sound an awful lot like we were going to swim around in bed rather than in the pool… I hoped she wasn't going to try anything funny on me… I might just lose it…

"At least I know I was right to get this hot number from 104. It was at a huge discount too."

"Uh, th-then, good for you, Eri. N-Nothing like a good buy, huh?"

"I knew you'd like it," she giggled. "No matter where you are, it's important to dress appropriately. So now tell me…"

"Eh?"

She suddenly became more vocal, destroying the sexy atmosphere entirely, "…why the heck are you dressed in that ridiculous outfit?!"

Whoa, wait, she's annoyed now?! "My outfit? Wh-What's wrong with it exactly?"

"It's not sexy, that's what!"

Figured.

"Just look at yourself," she rambled. "Those long pants, that long-sleeved top… It's like one of those shark suit things! We're supposed to be swimming, Neku… not scuba diving! What age are we in, the Victorian era?! You wouldn't get arrested for flashing some skin! Where's the speedo I've been waiting for? Even a pair of ordinary swimming trunks would do!"

All I had for her was a jittery laugh and this explanation, "B-But… I haven't developed any real muscles yet. I'm not confident about how my body looks, so I'm too embarrassed to show it off."

"And that's why you're covering yourself up? Phooey! We're at the pool, for goodness' sake! That kind of attire is so tacky. You look like a freakin' torpedo!"

"Eri, it's proper swimwear, made from space age materials, designed from the ground up for competitive swimming. Don't the world's swimming champions wear this?"

"They do, but that doesn't mean you have to! …Okay, fine. If you won't change, then be a man and take off that top at least!"

"N-No way!" Just because she was getting scary didn't mean I couldn't fight back! "Everyone will see my ribcage! You can freaking play the piano on my highly visible ribs! That's how thin I am! I'm keeping it on!"

"They're not that visible. And when I say take it off, I mean it!"

"S-Stop pulling at my top, please!"

The two of us were now tangled in a tug-of-war where she was trying to strip me topless and I desperately clung onto both my clothes and my dignity. It was quite the battle with neither willing to give in. Unfortunately, our clashes didn't go unnoticed. We soon drew the interest of a trio of young men who approached us, or rather… her. The alarm bells went off in my head when I recognized the character archetype these guys fell into. I'd read enough manga to know the tell-tale signs that we were going to be up against some confident idiots who were trying to hit on her, and they couldn't be bothered that I was still here. It irked me even more that they looked better than me.

"Hey there," said the one with the tanned skin, "what's a babe like you doing in a place like this?" Nothing's worse than a hackneyed pickup line.

At this point, Eri noticed them, but didn't really care much for their existence despite them being right in front of us.

The second mook, sporting a seriously ripped torso, whistled, "Ooh, you sizzlin', girl. You hot, like daaaayum. How abou' you have fun with us, eh?"

"Come on, ditch the guy already." That was the third fellow. He had an intricate maze of tattoos where his left arm should be. "We're a lot more interesting to play around with than him. Come on!"

That was more than I could take. As calmly as I could, I tried to shoo them away. "Go away, will you? She didn't come here to waste time with you."

Three faces suddenly turned unfriendly and I did my best to brave their hostility. "Oi, you tryin' to act tough?" hissed Beefcake. "Go home, shrimp, play with your toys!" Then they laughed like a bunch of hyenas.

They had touched on the last raw nerve in my system and I was going to get right up and give them a piece of my mind, but I was surprised when Eri kept me grounded to the seat, preventing me from moving an inch. For a split second, she glanced my way, signaling me with a quick wink not to act rash and to leave it to her. So I did. I was worried, however. Should she prove unsuccessful in convincing them to leave, we'd be in big trouble.

"I'm sorry," she said with a forced smile. "But as you can see, I've already got a boyfriend." And she locked her arm firmly in the crook of mine.

Way to go, Eri. Wasn't that a bit weak, though? I hardly thought these guys would go away from just that.

True to form, they refused to back off. The tattooed guy cooed, "Aw, don't be like that, girl. We heard you talking. You like speedos, right? Well, then today's your lucky day since that's what we three kings are wearing!"

"That's right," said the musclehead. "We all cool, y'know? Not like Leotard Boy here."

"Like what you see, girl?" The first guy was leering pointedly at her cleavage and I wanted to gouge his eyes out. "We can show you more than – "

All of a sudden, the air took on a malicious quality. It was like a black hole, sucking in everything that was bright and happy and leaving an empty void in its wake. I swore the surroundings turned dark purple. Oh wait, it was emanating from Eri?! Uh-oh, I knew it. That's the infamous "scary mode" she had slipped into. When she speaks, not even the hardiest of war veterans could hold their bladders in. Her voice dropped several octaves until it sounded positively demonic, and her eyes glinted with such danger that the trio of idiots stopped yakking out of fear. The most disturbing part was that she was still smiling.

"Get your nuts out of my face, you disgusting apes," she threatened, "unless you want me to crush them into paste. Three seconds is all it'll take. One for each of you." She grabbed the nearest disposable cup and crumpled it in her free hand. It's just a fragile little thing, but I didn't know crinkling plastic could sound so painful. I sure didn't want to stick around myself to know what kind of noise you hear when you make pate a groin…

You could see the fright on their faces as they hesitated. Eventually they decided that hitting on her was not worth losing a very important body part and all three of them quickly left to seek out safer targets. I heaved a sigh, relieved they were gone. Eri calmed down but remained incensed at their behaviour.

"I really can't stand perverts like them," she growled. "They're the enemies of women everywhere!"

I was a little unsatisfied that I wasn't the one to give them the fright treatment. On the risk of sounding like a sexist, shouldn't the guy be stronger? You know, for the girl's sake? I should teach them the lesson they so sorely needed, but instead it was Eri who did it and I had gladly left it to her. It shouldn't go like that.

But all's well that ends well. "You, um… did great, Eri. I've never seen anyone talk so… convincingly."

"It keeps the pesky ex-boyfriends away." The darkness had dissipated and the evil spirit that possessed her earlier was gone, thank goodness. She's most likable when she smiles. I'll agree to that any day.

"Um, you know, about that speedo thing…"

"Nah, never mind. Shark suits aren't so bad after all."

We swapped glances, and then, seeing the humour in the whole swimsuit issue, we tittered bit by bit until we were laughing.

"Okay!" She stood up with a great flourish and extended a hand towards me. "Shall we get this lesson started?"

I returned her smile wholly and took her hand, standing up myself. "Yeah. I'll be in your care."

"That's the spirit! Oh, hang on. Gotta fix this. One moment…"

Apparently her bikini bottom was getting loose, so she had to tighten it up. For her to do that though, she had to first undo the knot at the side. I felt my lungs seize up as I watched her at work. It's just a simple action, like doing up the buttons on a shirt. It shouldn't be a big deal. But when you're a guy and you bear witness to such a sight, there are certain… bodily processes you can't control.

"Neku? Why did you sit back down?"

"Ahaha… I, uh, also have something I need to fix."

XOXOXOXOXO

The first of what would be many swimming lessons officially began and Eri kicked things off with a quick briefing once warm-ups were over. Her casual, friendly nature made it easy to warm up to her as an instructor.

"So, Neku… you haven't swum once ever since we graduated from high school. I'm going to assume you're a total beginner."

"Yeah, I'm simply not good."

"Hee hee… You're in luck, then. You're a good Sensei to me, so I intend to repay you for your kindness."

Suddenly I was gripped by a wave of uncertainty. I glanced back at the pool, and all the bad memories I gathered from PE lessons at the school pool resurfaced – getting muscle cramps, nearly drowning, coming out of the pool only to realize too late that my trunks had slipped off somehow (and making the girls scream in horror in the process). Those were some good times… where good meant traumatic.

However, Eri did her best to put me at ease and I was thankful for that.

"Don't worry! It'll be alright. I've got your back covered, so you wouldn't die."

I laughed. "I kinda wish you didn't say that last part."

Eri went on to explain that the problem with most amateur swimming "instructors" is that they skip certain steps and teach wrongly in the process. To keep potential brushes with death at bay, we went over the most basic of basics, such as breathing exercises and swimming postures.

Initially I found it frightening. My previous bad experiences with water didn't give me a lot of confidence. I was very unsure of myself but Eri was always there to reassure me that I was fine. And for someone who didn't like to waste time, she was surprisingly patient today. Whenever I made a mistake, she'd point it out and show me how it was done, no matter how many times it took. That helped a lot.

We busied ourselves for the next half hour, slowly refining my technique. I made minor errors here and there, after which she'd invite me to watch her do it the correct way so I could copy her step by step. Although I was attentive for the most part, there were one or two times when my focus would drift away momentarily and my line of sight would tend to settle on the more… um, erotic parts of her anatomy.

Unfortunately, she did notice eventually this one instance where I stared for too long at her chest when I meant to sneak in a couple of seconds' worth of eye candy. I was punished with a light bop to the head.

"Neku, c'mon!" she groaned. "What's with you?"

"S-Sorry, I… I got distracted."

"Geez… pay attention! You'll have plenty of opportunities to stare later! I'll even get naked for you if that's – "

"Whoa, stop stop stop! Stop talking! I got it already! I got it!"

Oh man, she did not just say that out loud! The people around us heard her and looked at us with eyes yanked wide open. Did she forget that we were in a public place, or did she not care?

I thought that was the last heart attack I'd have, but then partway through the lesson…

"Okay, Neku, that wasn't bad at all. Now do ten reps of breathing exercises and we can take five."

"Right."

In our breathing exercises, I had to suck in air through the mouth above the surface, and then crouch to dunk my head beneath to blow it out through the nose. It's kind of like squats, but done in the water. So I was busy doing just that when suddenly – I think it was during the fourth rep – I heard her cry out.

Resurfacing, I snapped, "Eri, what's wrong?"

What's with that nervous giggle? That's the kind you hear when you've made a blunder. She nudged closer to whisper this shocking development in my ear:

"Um… my top came off."

As though guided by an unseen force, I immediately looked towards her bosom. It was true. The water was more or less at chest height where we were standing, and there wasn't much I could see of her above the surface, which was exactly our problem. She had nothing on her. The top was gone. I regressed into a spluttering fit.

"Wh-What?! Whoa, wait, how did –"

"I'm going to need it back," she squawked, "but it could have floated anywhere by now. Oh god, please hurry and help me find it before some kid snatches it up!"

"I-I'm on it!"

This was a race against time. Right away I discovered how difficult it was to maneuver around a crowded pool where people were moving about, let alone search for something as small as a bikini top. It was a slippery customer that refused to be found. I hoped to find it before it ended up in the hands of a child thinking it was a super-sized eyepatch.

Then, as I submerged taking a look around, I saw it! There it was, flapping about in the water like a strip of seaweed. I couldn't believe my luck. I rushed over, using my newly-learnt swimming techniques, and grabbed it. Safe! Things didn't usually go so well for me, and for the briefest moment, I thought I should brace myself for further surprises. But nothing happened and I waddled back to Eri with the good news.

"Found it," I called. "Got your – huh?"

What's this? Her top was back in place on her chest. She had also lost herself amid a peal of giggles.

"Eri? Um, what's going on?"

"Ha ha ha! Oh, I'm so sorry. I was in just the right mood for a little prank so I pretended to lose my top."

Hang on… Something didn't feel right. "You mean… you had it with you the whole time?"

"Sure!" She even tapped me on the head. "It's not too hard to conceal it. Simply undo the neck straps and – "

"Wait… If you never lost it, then what's this?"

I showed her the bikini top that I just salvaged, and she immediately stopped laughing in confusion. Upon closer examination, it had a different design than Eri's, and was also actually black in colour. In the water it looked maroon, and, well… for all the variations that two-piece swimsuits had, they looked alike to me…

"That's not mine," she said. "I don't have a bikini that looks like that."

Stupidly, I asked, "Then, wh-whose is this?"

I would get my answer in exactly two seconds. Someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind, and even when I didn't see who, it didn't even take chicken brains to guess that it was a woman and a highly embarrassed one at that.

What I didn't expect when I turned around was that I recognized her.

"Th-That's mine," she stammered with a red face. "Could… Could I have it back?"

I blurted out her name in surprise. "Sh-Shiki!"

Yup, it was her. It's mandatory to remove glasses and contact lenses when you go swimming, so this was one of those rare occasions where I could see her without her specs. Her myopia was a crippling handicap, however, so without them she was helpless. It got me wondering how she could recognize me in the first place.

I handed over the top immediately. "S-Sorry, my bad."

At the sight of her best gal pal, Eri greeted her with the gusto of a batch of fireworks, and for several moments after that I was effectively left out of the loop. There are some things we guys could never hope to fit into and girl talk was one of them. Not that we wanted to.

"Shiki! Wow, you're actually wearing a bikini? Finally saw the goodness in a bit of exposure, huh?"

As Shiki struggled to fix up her top, she snorted, "You going on about that again? I still stand by the elegance of one-piece swimsuits, I'll have you know!"

"A maillot does not a sexy woman make. If you really want to pack a punch at all, two-pieces are the way to go!"

"They're not my thing, Eri. Even now, I feel weird wearing this. I'm just not used to them. Plus, you need a good figure for it to work, and that's something I don't have."

"Oh, now that's just nonsense. You've got a pretty dangerous body, enough said." And then, very confidently, she added, "I've seen you naked before, so I can vouch for – "

"Eri!" screeched poor Shiki. "N-Neku is listening!"

There was a reddish cloud in the water where my nose was dripping in a steady torrent. That's what happens when girl talk gets out of hand.

"Uh… whoops."

XOXOXOXOXO

Our chance meeting with Shiki sparked forth a lively conversation between us three. It only just occurred to me that the last time I talked to her was when I told her I wanted to go out with Eri, thus indirectly turning her down as a potential girlfriend. I didn't end things off on an awkward note back then, thankfully, so her behaviour around me wasn't weird or stilted. It's nice to get back to being friends and talk like everything's normal.

Eri offered to buy takoyaki for all of us from the food stall nearby, so off she went. While waiting, Shiki and I took the opportunity to rest and share the latest updates in our lives with each other. We sat side by side, our feet dangling in the water. And we conversed freely, just the way it should be.

"No offence," she remarked, "but that outfit makes you look like a torpedo."

"Eri said the exact same thing! Do you girls all think alike? Anyway, I'm wearing this because I don't feel comfortable showing off my body."

"I know what you mean! I'm the same way. Wearing this, I feel… I dunno…" She motioned towards her swimsuit. "I wanted to go for something different so I decided to give this a try, but it took me at least forty minutes to even put it on right! Couldn't get the straps to cooperate with me, see? And yet my top still came off." With a pink tint on her cheeks, she quietly laughed at her own mistake.

"You claim to be uncomfortable with bikinis, but for what it's worth, you look good in it."

"Hee hee… Thanks, Neku. I know I look better than you at least, Torpedo Boy."

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, amused at her wit. "Another nickname? Hmph, seriously? Can we talk instead about how you managed to find me without your glasses?"

"I'm not that hopeless," she huffed. And then, in a twist of hypocritical humour, she admitted, "It… It did help plenty to follow your voice, however."

"What, so you were relying on echolocation? You sure fit the idiom 'blind as a bat' to a tee, Shiki."

"Oh, you!"

Now that we were even with the jibes, we just laughed and called it a draw. Then it was on to a deeper topic.

"Say, Neku… How are you getting along with Eri?"

I could tell from the way she hesitated with her words that she was treading carefully. Our individual feelings had already been resolved, so there was no need to be so guarded, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to exercise tact.

"Whenever we get to talking," she continued with a giggle, "and you come up in our conversations, she'd become super-excited and boast about you by the bucketful. Thanks to her, I kind of understand what your relationship is like, ha ha ha… But I'm just asking because I wanted to hear your side of the story."

My nonchalant reply was, "Eh, same old, same old. Eri's still joking around, shopping for clothes, sleeping over at my house… causing me nosebleeds…"

Shiki snorted. "I can see her doing that to you a lot."

"But every day is fun, I'll give you that."

"Eri's totally given up on her old boy-crazy ways, hasn't she? She even serves up a mean stir-fry these days."

"Oh, she's good. Could use some polish to her cooking but she's doing well."

"Personally, I find it amazing that she's able to cook adequately now. Her tempura and beef cutlets are really good. You can tell it's still rough around the edges, but she's come a long way for someone who couldn't even boil an egg before… don't you think?"

"You bet she has."

Shiki chuckled. With fingers a-fiddling, she delivered her next few thoughts.

"Frankly, I'm envious."

"Envious? …Envious of what?"

"Of how you two can do everything together so freely and easily. Eri gets along well with both guys and girls alike, but with you she's at her most relaxed self and she can do absolutely anything without feeling awkward. I should know. She told me."

The pitter-patter of my heart went a little faster. "She… She said that, huh?"

"You two make a great team," she said approvingly. "I haven't seen any couples out there that share your synergy. It's a truly powerful relationship."

That's true. Eri and I worked together for our happiness, and our habit of creating win-win situations often yielded results that far exceeded our expectations. I guess this wasn't something she could enjoy with her previous boyfriends.

"Ahaha… We manage, somehow."

It's heartening that Shiki, who used to vie so fiercely for my heart, was now fully supportive of our relationship.

"Keep it up, Neku! You're doing great."

"Thanks. Now, enough about me. What's your story? What've you been doing these days? I mean, um… have you… uh…"

"Go on, you can say it. You wanted to know if I've got a new boyfriend, right?"

"Sorry, I… yeah. Just curious."

She pretended to be suspicious of me. "Why? Isn't Eri enough for you?"

"I… I swear I didn't mean it that way…" There were shades of Eri's playfulness in her behaviour, and it wasn't forced or anything. Being around her lovable sex maniac pal for so long must have rubbed off on her a little.

"Relax, can't you tell a joke when you see one? But anyway… I'm not looking for love at the moment."

"You're not?"

"Nah." She raised her arms out and above her head, stretching like a cat. "I just want to enjoy life for now, so I'm letting romance take a backseat. That said, if someone good comes my way, I might give him a shot. Shibuya may be a big city, but it's still a small place. There's no telling who you might end up with. In a way, it's kind of exciting."

"Yeah… I think so too."

After all, a little over half a year ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd hook up with Eri of all people. I'm just glad things turned out the way they did. She's happy, I'm happy.

Shiki excused herself to go to the bathroom. I didn't need to wait by myself long, as Eri returned soon with a big tray of takoyaki in hand.

"Let's wait for her to come back," she suggested. "Then, we can all dig in. This stuff is seriously hardcore, by the way! The taste is out of this world!"

"Alright, I'll take your word for – Eri, what's the matter?"

Her smile vanished and her face contorted with growing fury. Something was happening behind me and she didn't like it. When I looked, I saw why.

Shiki had scarcely walked five steps out of the women's bathroom when she was waylaid by some punks looking to have a good time with her. There were three of them and the distressed girl was surrounded with no hope of escape. I was already bristling with anger, but when I saw who they were, I became doubly angry.

"Those goons," I growled, as we both stood up. "They're the same ones who hit on you earlier!"

"Hmph. Neku, hold onto this. I'll be right back."

She plopped the tray of takoyaki into my hands and promptly sped off in the opposite direction. I could only react in confusion.

"Eri? Hey, where are you going? Eri?!"

But she was gone. What was she trying to do? Even if she had some kind of grand plan, however, I couldn't just stand around waiting for her. Shiki might be in shreds by the time we were ready to rock! Our friend needed help quickly!

"You pretty hot, girl," said the muscle-bound guy. "Whatchu think, guys?"

"Ooh, she's smokin'." The tattooed fellow edged closer, causing her to shrink away. Three pairs of eyes roving all over her body looked like more than enough torture for poor Shiki. I had to save her!

"L-Let me through," she squeaked. "My friends are waiting for me."

"Ha ha! Don't worry, we wouldn't take too long!"

"Hey!" I snapped. "Stop!"

The trio, not happy at being interrupted, were already scowling before they even faced me. I must have looked comical approaching them with a tray full of takoyaki, like I was some waiter at a pool party, but, well… Eri did ask me to hold onto it…

Shiki may be scared stiff, but not so stiff that she wouldn't utilize an opportunity to the fullest. While the trio was busy sizing me up, she found a gap between them and tried to weave through. Unfortunately, she didn't make it. As soon as she moved, the tanned guy noticed and stepped into her path, blocking her way and causing her to slam into him. He leered at her, as if to say, "Nice try, but you're not going anywhere." Dammit, she was still trapped!

All three of them trash-talked me one by one. The tattoo-armed youth went first. "Hey, look, it's the dude with a lame jumpsuit again."

"You already got a sweet piece of girl, man. Why you wanna mack on another chick?"

"Yeah! Leave some for us, will ya!"

A few pool-goers took notice, but not enough to deter these three. I had to step up my game and get tough.

"Let her go," I demanded. "She's my friend."

"Ooh! 'Let her go', he said! Ha ha…! Look, man. We're just gonna borrow her for a bit, is all! Nothin' wrong with that!"

"Lighten up!" scoffed another. "It's Sunday and everybody wants to have fun."

"Not with you she doesn't." I took a step closer and put on my darkest face. "Let. Her. Go!"

Tattoo Boy didn't take too kindly to my threats and stepped forth to oppose me one-on-one, while his fellow eunuchs continued to keep Shiki in place. She directed worried eyes at me and shook her head, giving me a silent message, "Don't do it, Neku! You'll get hurt!" But I had no intention of coming to blows with them. Why pick fights I couldn't win? I was going to settle this in a… well, relatively diplomatic manner. However, it didn't look like I was going to get out of this unscathed. If Tattoo Boy's wild animal grimaces were any indication, I'd be in for some pain. Or discomfort. Whichever was worse. Or even both.

"Think you're some kinda hotshot, huh?" he huffed. "News flash, pal: you're not. Now buzz off!"

"Not until you let go of her!" Defiant, I stood my ground, not moving an inch even as he drew closer.

"Ooh, so the little guy wants to be a hero. You know, you might've been a worth a laugh any other day, but we've heard enough outta you. Take a hike!"

Uh-oh. I think I might regret this.

With one swift motion, he grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me sideways. It happened too quickly for me to react. One moment I was staring him down, the next I had been swept off my feet and was sailing towards the deep end of the pool. Everything around me seemed to slow down, like I was the star in a slow-motion sequence in an action movie. The idiots were laughing, Shiki cried out my name… Their voices sounded warped and super-slow. The takoyaki flew in all directions. Eri just bought it, and I hated to see perfectly good food go to waste, but I had bigger things to worry about…

…like the fact that I didn't know how to float in water yet. I'm the rock that still sinks, remember?

I didn't want my life to end this way… If I had to go out – and I wasn't ready, just in case you're curious – I should at least be ten kinds of awesome doing it. Not like this.

Before Death could reap my soul, someone grabbed my arm and hauled me to safety. Astonishingly, the takoyaki ended up safe too, still intact on that tray, which was being held up in one hand by the mystery saviour.

I looked at the face of the person who saved me and almost recoiled in surprise.

Seishirou-sama?! Oh wait, that's Eri in disguise. Hang on, why was she in disguise? Clad in a slim hooded jacket and capris, bespectacled and with her hair done up in a ponytail, she looked absurdly handsome. She had become a completely different person altogether.

She condensed everything that was so cool about her alter ego into a single sentence.

"That behaviour was hardly appropriate, gentlemen."

Her Seishirou-sama persona was like a giant magnet for attention. The moment she made her grand entrance, every female in the vicinity took notice, and in two seconds flat about thirty girls gathered around her in a semi-circle, squealing like there was no tomorrow. In a sense, Eri was one of Shibuya's most sought-after people, whether as a girl or disguised man. It's strange of me to admit this, but she deserved credit for being able to appeal to both sexes.

"It's really Seishirou-sama!" screamed one of the fangirls. "In the flesh!"

"So this is how he looks in casual wear," gushed another. "Seishirou-sama, you're so cool!"

"Do you swim too? Come swim with us!"

Eri laughed, putting on the air of a dignified handsome boy, the kind you often see accompanied by a background full of flowers and sparkles in a romance manga.

"I'm thankful for your invitation, ladies," she said, "but I'm afraid that for now I must follow the path of justice laid before me by the forces of the universe. Let's just say… it's something a butler like myself must do."

Wh-What did she just say?

"Such deep, fascinating words!" giggled someone. "That's Seishirou-sama for you!" It was a unanimous agreement.

For real?! They just willingly lapped up whatever fantasy nonsense she came up with! What a bunch of dumb sheep!

Stunned by the entire commotion, the dumbfounded trio could only hesitate. Eri chided them in ridiculously posh Japanese, totally unlike her normal self.

"How dare you act so inhumanely towards this young man! I'll have you know he is a valued guest at my establishment! But more alarmingly, you are holding my precious customer hostage. Where is your integrity? Release her at once!"

Um, was it just me, or was Shiki blushing? She did know who Seishirou-sama was, right? She should be immune to his… uh, her charms, shouldn't she?

Overwhelmed but not out, they held their ground, refusing to budge. "Scoot, man," said the musclebrain, "this is none a' yer business!"

"My customers' safety is my business. No, rather… not just my customers, but everyone whom I regard as a friend. And yes…" She turned back to the gaggle of girls behind her, flashing them a smile that overflowed with boyish charm. "…you're all my friends too. I wouldn't forget about you angels."

The girls had reached breaking point and could contain their excitement no longer. More crazed screaming ensued.

Eri, even if you're acting, it's a bit much…

"Quit getting on your high horse," snapped the tanned guy. "We don't give a crud who you are! If we're gonna have our way with this girl, then we will and we don't care – "

"Unforgivable," spat Eri. "Women are not playthings for you to rub your dirty hands all over! As men, it's our responsibility to uphold our morals and lead a selfless, hardworking life. It shames me to say you're not doing that!"

The girls in the crowd agreed openly. One or two began to jeer and scold, and soon the whole crowd was condemning the idiots' actions. It was a chain reaction that quickly affected everyone else in the pool. Suddenly they found themselves at a real disadvantage.

"Eew, are those molesters?!" cried out someone.

Another person, a guy, was heard saying, "I just hate these kinds of people. Makes me want to punch them in the face."

"Hey! Let her go!"

"If you insist on your perverted ways," warned Eri darkly, "I'll call the police. However, I'll give you one last chance. I suggest you think very carefully about what you want to do next."

"Dammit," gulped the tanned guy, barely audible above the booing, "dude's got himself a posse. We can't do nothin' now."

"Why is this Seishirou freak so scary?!" squawked Tattoo Boy. "He's like that pink-haired chick from earlier!" Well, yeah, that's because they're the same person…

"Maybe we should call it quits, man. This can't be worth it."

"Yeah…"

Much to Shiki's relief, they finally left her alone and slunk away without another word, dissolving out of sight. Satisfied that they were gone, Eri and I rushed over to her side, closely watched by the pool's entire patronage.

"Shiki!" I barked. "You alright? Those jerks didn't hurt you, did they?"

"I… uh… I seem to be in one piece, thanks. They didn't actually touch me at all." The poor girl was shaken, but it was good to see that she was fine.

With her "Seishirou mode" still active, Eri conversed with her like the oh-so-proper gentleman she was. Taken out of context, everything she said was harmless, but with that added layer of boyish charm, not even Shiki was safe.

"M'lady, you're not hurt anywhere, are you?" she said. "I can't bring myself to imagine what would happen if you were left to be manhandled by those lowlifes."

Shiki was steadily getting drawn in by Eri's manliness. Oh boy, she was beyond hope.

"Um, y-yeah," she stammered, "I'm alright, really. Th-Thanks for asking, though."

"Be mindful of your own safety, m'lady… That's all I ask. You can't undermine the importance of a little care and caution. Now, if I happen to be in the vicinity, you can rest a little easier but still, don't get too complacent."

"R-Right… Thanks."

Eri spoke to me now. "Your bravery earlier was most outstanding. Sticking up for your friend in times of need… Impressive. You deserve the highest of praise, Master Sakuraba."

It felt so weird being given the figurative thumbs-up by a girl who was dressed as a hot guy… and it was my girlfriend at that. No wonder Shiki's beginning to have doubts about her own sexuality. Heck, I didn't know what to think anymore. I bet Eri was thinking that she'd take the opportunity to have some fun and screw with our minds. In that regard, she certainly succeeded.

"By the way, m'lady," she added, "that swimsuit looks fantastic on you. It's very… becoming."

True to Shiki's easily flustered nature, she was now spluttering and trying to return the compliment but ended up tongue-tied and waving her arms like a human hummingbird. This was the most incomprehensible farce I've ever been a part of.

The girls heard us and began going ga-ga again.

"Seishirou-sama just complimented her! How lucky!"

"I wish he could say I'm beautiful too! That'd make my day!"

"Only the most praiseworthy of us get a chance like that. That girl truly is a chosen one!"

Like I said, Eri, your acting is a bit much!

With a bow and a smile that could liquefy any fangirl's insides, she left to attend to the needs of the Dumb Sheep Club, answering their questions and giving out autographs. She's going to take a while by the looks of it.

And that's that. Thank goodness the crisis was resolved without a hitch. Heh… it may look dumb, but Eri's rescue plan was actually pretty smart. By swapping to her alter ego and using her fame to gather a large crowd of onlookers, she was able to force the perverts to leave. Thanks to this, she didn't even need to come to blows. Compared to her, all I did was rush them with a plate of takoyaki.

Meanwhile, Shiki was mumbling to herself.

"I'm not a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not – "

She was shaken loose from her train of thoughts when I patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry," I said. "If you're not one, then you aren't."

I couldn't be sure if she was really convinced, though…

Fifteen minutes later, Seishirou-sama vanished elsewhere, leaving the girls to gush over how lucky they were to be in the right place at the right time. When Eri returned, walking incognito through the very throng she had sweet-talked just moments before, she had a smug look on her face. Knowing her, she was probably laughing inwardly, drunk on that evil feeling of self-accomplishment. They don't know I'm a girl too, she must be thinking. Bwahahaha!

"Sorry I took long," she said innocently. "I suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom."

Um, sure… she came from the wrong direction, though… I mean, the women's bathroom was behind us… Where did she go to change anyway?

"Um, did I miss something, guys?"

Shiki didn't know what to say. Eri thought her secret was safe from her. Keeping track of everyone's secrets… it's like an intricate spider web of lies; once you get stuck, it's hard to back out.

I spoke for everyone's sake. "Let's have that takoyaki now."

XOXOXOXOXO

So the three of us were sitting at a table munching on takoyaki and Eri continued to lie through her nose.

"Ooh, so that's what happened!" she said. "I wish I'd been there in time to stop them myself!"

"D-Don't worry about it," said Shiki with a nervous laugh. "Y-You – no, uh… Seishirou-sama, she… I mean, he handled the situation deftly."

I could see the pride swelling inside our pink-haired friend as she continued to feign innocence. "Darn! Now I wish I was there to witness him in action! Defending the chastity of a helpless girl? Ah… just how much dreamier can he get? It goes without saying that he's the ideal butler, the kind who goes out of his way for everyone's sake. Ohohoho!" Gah… what's with that proud-sounding laugh that didn't match with her words?! She's getting her thoughts all mixed up!

Shiki and I were straining under the clunky conversation topic… I needed to steer it in a less mentally straining direction. Honestly, I couldn't wrap my head around this stuff any longer.

I cleared my throat. "At any rate, Shiki, you're safe now. Just watch out for suspicious guys like them and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, I think I'll go back to one-piece swimsuits."

Eri was quick to oppose her decision. "I object! Whatever you wear to the pool isn't gonna change anything. You can't help being sexy, right?! So man up and keep the bikini on!"

"Eri," I sighed, "you're not helping."

Shiki chose the safest reply to satisfy both of us. "I'll be okay, guys. Thanks."

It worried me that she had a meek character that would cause her to freeze up in the face of danger. I wasn't confident she'd be able to handle herself, but I had an idea to help her out. "If you want, you can come with me and Eri next time when we have our swimming lessons."

Both girls looked at me in surprise. "Huh?"

"It's much safer to do things in groups, right? We can look out for each other, and you're less likely to get harassed if you stick with us. They tend to target loners and stay away from girls who've brought along a bunch of friends. For the sake of your safety, it might be best that you accompany us when we go swimming on Sundays. It's better that way, I think."

Even as I was speaking, words of refusal were frothing in her throat and as soon as she found the chance, they tumbled out of her mouth.

"N-No, that's quite alright."

"Shiki?"

"I… I mean, yeah. It's okay, really. I don't want to be a bother to you. You guys have your swimming lessons and such, so I can't possibly take up your time. Besides, it's not like I want to swim every week, so… uh, thanks, Neku. But… I can take care of myself."

Why did she sound so uneasy?

Actually, Eri wasn't too thrilled with my suggestion either. Wasn't this the best way to go about it? Shiki would be safer if she was with us. What's wrong with it?

XOXOXOXOXO

When we were all done swimming Eri and I parted ways with Shiki. During the bus ride back to our neighbourhood, I had this one burning query.

"Do you carry that disguise with you at all times, Eri?"

"I do!" she quipped. "Anytime I need to get into my Seishirou-sama groove, I can do that easily. See, it came in handy just now, didn't it?"

"Done like a superhero with a secret identity… Do you have to pop into a phone booth every time you change?"

"That's a good one, ha ha ha! But there's only so much elbow space in a place like that."

"Or privacy."

"Ha ha! …Well, anyway, butler antics aside, there is one thing I'd like to talk about." The jokes were over and done with and now she wanted to talk serious. "I can't say I liked your plan. You know, when you said you wanted Shiki to tag along with us."

"But what seems to be the issue here?"

"I get that you're concerned about her safety, but you're saying she should accompany us both… It's an odd setup. She knows we're going out, Neku. If we really went ahead with your idea, wouldn't that make her a third wheel?"

Whoops… I didn't think about that.

"It's okay to care about your friends, Neku, and your heart may be in the right place, but sometimes you've got to give the lovebirds their space. No one likes being a third wheel. I know I'd make the same decision myself if I were in her shoes."

Eri's right. I haven't forgotten what it was like to tag along with a loving couple and be totally left out. That fateful day months ago when I found out the hard way that Shiki had a boyfriend whom she brought along, we were all on a shopping trip together and I couldn't fit in. Unable to bear the alienation, I went home prematurely.

Now I saw why Shiki did what she did.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I should have looked into it a little further. And… I'm also sorry I couldn't help much. You know, with the perverts."

"Huh… those guys?"

"When they hit on you and then Shiki, I failed to stop them. Had it not been for your quick thinking on both counts, I think the two of you would have been mincemeat by now. It's… It's frustrating for me, as a man. Protecting our friends… That's a responsibility of mine, right?"

"Sure, but you tried. That's good enough for us. Trust me, it really is. Most people wouldn't even bother because they're scared of being humiliated or beaten to a pulp. So what you did was really brave."

"Really?" I scratched the back of my neck, bashful but happy that I did indeed make a difference, even if it was a very slight one. "Eheh… If you put it that way, it makes me feel a bit better."

"Thanks, Neku." She affectionately rubbed her head against my shoulder. "You may not be the sharpest tack around, but you'll always be my hero."

The heat rushed up to my face but I was quick to play up to the warm atmosphere. Not many people were on the bus and they were all herded at the rear. No one was looking. My hand reached around to her opposite shoulder and pulled her closer. She snuggled so close there was not an inch of free space between us.

"You're my hero too, Eri. Always will be."

"Speaking of big darn heroes… what did you think of my performance as you-know-who?"

"As Seishirou-sama?"

"Shhh. Not so loud. You'll spill my secret. But yeah, how was I?" She was bubbling with eagerness to know what I had to say about her. Boy, was I going to lay the constructive criticism on her.

In typical deadpan style, I replied, "Everything was spot-on. You handled the execution well. But it's not cool to flirt with another girl, and in front of your boyfriend no less."

Soft girlish laughter filled my ears. "I wanted to mess around a little… Thought I'd have some fun while I was at it. It was hilarious watching Shiki go limp like that. Not to mention cute! That blush of hers was to die for especially!"

"You've got a weird sense of humour, Eri."

"What's the matter?" she sniggered. "Scared I'll run off with her?"

"Not particularly," I snorted. "Just… try and refrain from seducing her again."

"Ha ha ha!"

XOXOXOXOXO

My hair was in an agonizing state. I tweezed some of my locks between my fingers and they felt like wire.

"Must be the chlorine in the pool," I muttered to myself.

Ah well, hair problems aside, today's a good day! I had loads of fun at the pool. Eri was a superb instructor and I learnt plenty. Did I mention she was a total firecracker in that bikini? Huh? Oh, I did?

I already couldn't wait for next Sunday to roll around.

Now I had an idea of what Eri felt about our Saturday cooking lessons. Having cooked all my life, I had become somewhat desensitized to working in the kitchen, but looking from her viewpoint, these lessons must be a grand adventure where she was continually learning new and exciting things. I guess our positions were reversed for our swimming lessons in more ways than I thought. I resolved to put in even more effort into our weekends, as both teacher and student.

Just then my phone rang and the caller was Shiki. Now that's rare… I almost took too long to take the call. Couldn't help hesitating, you see.

"Hello?"

"Hi Neku," she chirped. "Got a sec?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"I just… um, wanted to thank you for earlier. When those guys cornered me, you tried to get me out of that jam."

A mild smile grew as I recalled what Eri told me on the bus: that even though I wasn't successful in stopping those perverts, I tried my best at least. "Don't thank me… It's Eri who was your knight in shining armour."

With a cheery tone, she said, "I know, but… I'm still happy you tried. If it weren't for you, they might have done worse things to me back then. N-Not that they actually did, by the way! They didn't even get to lay a hand on me. And… well, I'm sorry… You got dragged into it because of me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay. In the end, they didn't do anything to you so that's great."

"Yeah… So, how did you find your swimming lesson?"

"Oh, it was awesome! I think I know how to swim a little better now. Maybe next week if time permits Eri will teach me how to float. I still can't get the hang of it."

"You and her sure are going all out teaching each other how to cook and swim respectively. Must be fun, huh?"

"Darn right it's fun!"

Was this envy I sensed that was so thick in her voice? It might have been a figment of my imagination, but I thought I heard her mumbling to herself over the phone.

"Eri… You're so lucky…"

Shiki and her ex-boyfriend probably didn't enjoy the kind of interactions I had with Eri. Sure, they had their share of fun for a while, but it ultimately didn't work out. People don't normally get the whole dating thing right the first time around. It can take as many as several attempts at love for soul mates to finally come by.

I really hoped Shiki would find herself a good man, but for now, I did the smart thing and pretended not to hear her.

XOXOXOXOXO

One night a couple of days later, Eri paid me a visit with the intention of – you guessed it – staying over once again. She usually came over empty-handed, that is to say she never brought along a change of clothes for use after the obligatory shower, because frankly, she didn't feel like wearing much of anything much of the time. So when she showed up toting a small luggage bag, I immediately noticed.

"Toiletries," she explained. Then, learning into my ear as she helped herself in, she snarled sexily, "And a surprise."

My gut twisted like a pretzel. What kind of surprise did she have in store for me? If she's anything to go by then it'd be a good one. Damn, I really wanted to know… But she kept me at the edge of my seat, refusing to let me in on even the tiniest hint.

She eventually relented, though. After seeing how terrible I was at containing my curiosity, I guess she took pity on me and decided to put me out of my misery. But first she told me to relax on the bed and – wait, relax on the bed?! Hey, I never said I was ready for this. Of course, there's no telling what she was going to do but if my suspicions were correct, wasn't it all a bit too soon?

"Don't worry about a thing, Neku. No peeking, 'kay?"

With eyes squeezed shut, I tried in vain to pry more information out of her. "What are you trying to do?"

Oh god, that giggle reeked of naughtiness. "I'm going to change into something a little more comfortable."

There's only one thing a girl would change into if she wanted to get any more cozy… Time for the ol' birthday suit shtick, huh? Whoa, was that the sound of clothes being stripped off? This was getting serious! Wait… This was – oh snap, she's straddling me now, sitting on my lap. She really was in a mighty fine mood tonight, wasn't she?! What brought this on? Was it mating season?! Hang on, humans are in heat all year round!

As hundreds of thoughts riddled my head, she spoke to me again.

"You kept your eyes closed the whole time, Neku. Well done! You can open them again now."

"I… I can?"

"Wow, what's with the eagerness? Ha ha ha! And yes, you may."

I didn't know why she wanted to go striptease on me, but heck if I cared. Strange as it may seem, it's one way to flirt and bond. Whatever works, right? Ah well, no time like the present. Ready or not, here I co–

Wh-What's the meaning of this? I blinked a few times to make sure my eyesight was in proper working order. Against all of my expectations, she wasn't stark naked. In fact, she was covered from head to toe in PVC. It was form-fitting and hugged her curves very nicely, but, having expected to see acres of skin, I was left high and dry.

"Ta-da! What do you think of my new shark suit, Neku?! Pretty hot, huh?"

"Firstly," I said wryly, "I don't think it's called a shark suit… Secondly, why are you wearing one?"

To that she retorted, "Firstly, I'm still going to call them 'shark suits' because it sounds cool like that. And secondly, after much thought, I've come to the conclusion that they actually boast several advantages over standard issue swimwear like bikinis."

"That's news to me coming from someone who used to hate them like the plague."

"Yeah, but then I came to realize that if you wear this, guys will want to hit on you less! This isn't very exciting to them, you know?"

"Uh… makes sense." But the same concept applied to me too…

"And you don't need to worry about it becoming loose and slipping off by itself. That's a fashion faux pas I can easily avoid now!"

But… But I was kinda looking forward to seeing that happen?

"And lastly, if you pick a really good one that fits like a second skin, it's almost like you're not wearing anything. It feels great!" This I didn't expect to hear. What was I supposed to say? "And because you're not actually naked, you can romp around the place as though you are, without fear of getting arrested! Isn't that awesome?!"

"I'm afraid I can't connect… Not everyone's a full-time nudist, Eri."

"I think I'll wear this during our next lesson. It's always good to try new things, right? As I'm going to become a fashion designer, that's practically my mantra."

Huh?! Wait… But then –

"And you can't deny the safety benefits, Neku. I've been in the same boat as Shiki before. I don't really want to lose my top and have to look for it in a crowded place ever again!"

Sometimes I let Eri do as she pleased, but this time, I felt that I should exercise assertion and speak my mind.

"Eri," I began sincerely, "I think I'd rather see you in the usual bikini getup."

Curious eyes looked my way. "Eh? I thought you like shark suits?"

"That's not it. You look really amazing in one, that much is true, but…" – c'mon, man, you're not a lech. Never mind that your cheeks are boiling. Tell the truth, go for it! – "…I like to see you in bikinis. Because you… you look hot. And… stuff."

Eri just blinked, flabbergasted at my honesty. She didn't think I'd say something that might be seen in a lewd light.

I stammered, "Um, th-that's all!"

"My, that's frank of you," she said with a grin. "What you said might make you sound like a dirty old man, but never worry! As long as your interests are within acceptable limits, there's nothing wrong with having a few sexual obsessions here and there!" And she gave me a thumbs-up, happy that I was now officially a fellow pervert in her book.

That didn't mean I was particularly delighted to hear that! "H-Hey, don't pile me in the same lot as you!"

"Ha ha ha! I love that hot-cold personality of yours."

"Who you calling a tsundere?!"

She goodnaturedly placed a finger on my lips to put an end to my tirade.

"Neku, promise me you'll become a good swimmer."

"Huh? Uh-huh, sure… I intend to. 'Cause I'm sick of drowning."

"Now that's a good reason. But what I'm really trying to say is… when you can swim well enough, let's go to the beach!"

"The beach?"

"Yeah! There's a lot more room to run around than in a stuffy indoor pool and you get to soak up the sun… You get lots of Vitamin D that way – bonus! But seriously, it's tons of fun. What do you say? Can't say no, can you? Hee hee… It's practically blasphemy to say no to the beach!" She wagged a finger in front of my face cheekily, trying to nudge me into saying the answer she was hoping to hear. But before that, there was one thing I absolutely had to confirm.

"Just the two of us?"

With a wink, she replied, "Of course! Our buddies are strictly off-limits during our 'us time'!"

My head was in danger of exploding from the myriad possibilities we could explore during a trip to the beach. Hmmm… So many things we could do… Where should we start…

"Neku, give me a hand here."

Eri lay face down on the towel and loosened her bikini top, beckoning me with her luscious back.

"I need some UV protection. Lather me up good, yeah?"

The simple action of applying suntan lotion onto her back suddenly became even more of an erotic affair when she purposely uttered these noises that sounded suspiciously like… something else.

"Aah! Th-That's the stuff…" Her voice wavered uncontrollably and she sucked in air through her teeth in an apparent loss of restraint. "Yes…! A little more… Lower… Lower… Ahh yesss… mmmmh! That's a good spot… Use those fingers… Oh gracious jalapenos, Neku, you're the best! Ohhh…!"

Suddenly, her eyes widened and her body stiffened visibly. And she had a rather loud gasp to go with it too.

"Um, Neku?"

She was like a statue, unmoving as she sat on me. Did something happen?

"Eri? Wh-What's wrong? You look like I pressed your pause button."

"Do you want to go stargazing?"

"Whuh – stargazing? I don't under– "

She paused to look away. "…You got an extended telescope."

…She's right. And what's more… she's sitting right on top of it.

As if the situation couldn't get any more embarrassing, she had this to say, "Y-You've done nothing wrong, Neku. I've seen it before lots of times when we bathe, so it's not, like, weird or anything!"

Guh… That's the one thing I'd rather not hear right now!

"Oh, and," she continued, "since I've by now even memorized the size, colour and shape, it's not like it's a huge shock to me 'cause it's nothing new!"

"H-How is that supposed to make me feel better?!" Now that's two things!

"And just so we're clear…" She's still talking?! "…we haven't broken Rule #3 yet, so we are definitely safe!" The thumbs-up she gave me didn't fit into the context of the conversation well. It was almost comical.

And all this time, she never left my lap.

Talk about super-awkward!

I cleared my throat. "O-Okay, let's get back on track. So, uh, I'd love to go to the beach with you, Eri. But for that to happen, I'll need to count on you a little longer. Until I become a competent swimmer, will you continue to teach me?"

She smiled warmly.

"Is that a promise? That you'll come to the beach with me?"

"Yeah. I promise."

Her smile grew wider. "Sweet! When we get to the beach, you're gonna wear a thong, alright? I'll be waiting to see your fine, fine tush in action."

"…Now that, I can't promise."

She really was a bona fide pervert.

…

…

Author's note:

Here's your breather chapter full of fanservice, fellas! After the heavy stuff in Chapters 32 and 33, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Now go get yourself some nosebleeds. Hmmm, what to say. Not much to note on my end. All I can say is that Chapter 35 is work in progress, and I'm currently doing a little bit of Chapter 36 as well. Please be patient and watch out for Chapter 35! See you soon!