She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 40)
by BrDPirateMan

My muscles burned like fire with every step I took. But this was no time to rest. My own life was at stake here.

The situation was dire. I got overconfident and made a grave miscalculation, and now I had to face the music. All seemed lost. I was pretty sure this would be my end.

And then… out of pure blind luck, I found an opening. Finally! And I made use of it to the fullest!

The monster let out a roar of pain as I plunged my knife into its scaly hide, all the way to the hilt. I had stabbed it in a weak spot and now it was struggling to cope with its deep wound. If I needed to finish it off and secure my own safety, it was now!

Summoning all of my remaining strength, I retracted my blade and reversed it right in the middle of the monster's forehead. Its voice died suddenly in mid-roar. The sweat ran down my neck in rivers as I stared into its eyes. I could see the life fade away in them. Once I pulled my knife out, the creature crumpled in a heap on the ground and breathed its last.

Then, magically, it disappeared and turned into a handful of gold coins which I was more than happy to pocket.

"That was tough," I sighed to myself in relief. "Almost kicked the bucket there. Well! On to the next – "

Then I was greeted with some unfortunate news in the form of this:

"You have run out of energy. Would you like to spend 100 diamonds to refill and continue?"

I groaned in dismay.

"C'mon… at a time like this? I'm on a roll here! I can't spend any more diamonds! I need at least 6500 to buy the Spell Reaver weapon!"

Without any means to continue my adventure, my play session with Heroes of Ziodim ground to a halt.

About a week has passed since Eri left for Fukushima. These days, I've been playing this game a lot to pass the time and fill in the gap left behind by her absence. It's an enjoyable diversion, to be sure, although nothing could compare to a conversation with the lovably perverted Eri.

And I haven't heard from her for about three days straight now, not since she told me that she would be busy entertaining her relatives. So without any avenue of contact with her, I had to make do with whatever entertainment I had on my hands. Without her wit and humour to keep things at an interesting clip, life had become kinda slow and uneventful.

…Oh? Someone just rang the doorbell.

Kariya stood in the open doorway, smiling like he had just caught a big fish.

"Phones! Came to pay you a visit, man. Can't stay long, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?"

I let him in graciously. "Thanks, but… uh, aren't you supposed to be on Reaper duty?"

"Today's Sunday. The Reapers' Game ends real fast on Sundays, so that leaves me with a lot of time to spare. Time that I can put to use in other things."

"I see you like your job as always."

"It gets me paid," he chuckled, sensing my sarcasm. "But seriously, I'm more of a hobby guy than a work guy. Don't tell Uzuki I said that, though!"

"Don't worry. I have a feeling she knows anyway."

He didn't mind my tongue one bit and laughed it off. "Cut me some slack, dude. And is this how you treat someone who went out of his way to see you?"

I was about to respond with a quick retort when he cut me off, changing the topic.

"Playing a video game, are you?"

"Huh? How did you know?"

"It's the way you hold your phone." He nodded pointedly towards my cell, which I was still absentmindedly clutching in one hand. "Most cell phone games are rendered in landscape format, and that's exactly how you're holding it. And I've seen enough to know that's the kind of grip your hands would use if you were playing a twin-stick shooter or an action role-playing game."

Nice observational skills there. But he wasn't done talking. "And if I were to take a guess," he added, getting smug now, "you must be playing Heroes of Ziodim."

"That's true… Care to explain how you knew?"

"You didn't turn down your volume until you went to answer the door. I distinctively heard the tune that plays when you're at the blacksmith. Bet you're trying to upgrade your weapons, huh?"

Not bad. Now, if he was half as awesome at his day job, all would be right in this world.

"So you play Heroes of Ziodim too, huh?"

"Sure I do!" he said proudly. "Not to brag or anything, but I'm pretty good at it. Hey, I know! Why don't we become allies? Send me a friend request! I'll give you my ID."

And that's how my Level 45 Rogue became friends with his Level 62 Templar. It was to be the start of a beautiful working relationship.

When we exchanged phones to look at each other's characters, I gushed in awe at his equipment.

"Dude!" I gasped. "All of your stuff is Legendary quality! Whoa, isn't this the limited-edition Tyrfing longsword from the Darkwood event three months ago?! You could only acquire that by scoring high in the rankings! It must have been hell to maintain your position on the leaderboards!"

His ego could float a hot-air balloon. However, he was kind enough to reiterate my good points too.

"You aren't too shabby yourself, Phones. Even though you haven't managed to get any Legendary equipment yet, you at least have this full set of Epic level armour. The ability it unlocks is pretty sweet too. Heck, I wish I had a +30% dodge rate bonus! My Templar still can't do jack when it comes to avoiding attacks."

"You've invested a lot of time in this game."

"Yeah, that's one of the reasons Uzuki gets mad at me all the time. But a Legendary broadsword in your hand is nothing to scoff at!"

I laughed wryly. "Uh… yeah, um, that's… good?"

"Phones, I think it's time I told you the real reason I came here. I'm here to offer you an invitation."

"An invitation? To what?"

"Once in a while, when I find some free time, I'd hold a LAN party with my gaming buddies. I've got one slated for tomorrow at my place. Since you're a gamer, you should join us. It'll be lots of fun!"

Everyone has a natural affinity for something and mine was gaming. I grew up on games, playing classics and new titles alike. But I limited myself to singleplayer games most of the time. Could I fit into his group of gamers? I stroked my chin slowly, wondering whether I should take him up on his offer.

"Hmmm… a LAN party, huh…"

Kariya filled me in on the details in an attempt to tip me over to his side. "This time we're playing Counter Fortress Strike Team (CFST) and it'll be a no-holds-barred deathmatch. Do you play first-person shooters?"

"Yeah, I've played one or two before. Mostly Mood and Foxenstein 3D."

"That's old school, man. I respect that. But if you're looking for some real kicks, you ought to try doing a free-for-all. It's hectic, it's crazy, it'll rock your socks off as you blow people's heads off! Well, what about it? I promise you wouldn't be disappointed. And as a nice bonus, we've even got pizza and snacks. Can't go wrong with that now, can you?"

His proposal was starting to sound interesting. These days, it's been kind of dull without Eri. What's wrong with spending some time with other people for a change? And if I can get rid of my boredom for a while, that's all the better.

Kariya was still waiting for my answer with a look on his face that reminded me of a puppy begging for food. He must really want me to join.

Well… why not?

XOXOXOXOXO

I honestly had no idea what to expect. I've never played any multiplayer games before, and I certainly have never been to a LAN party.

And what were Kariya's gaming buddies like? Maybe they were a bunch of his Reaper friends, so no one too bright and cheery, I guess. In my head I could already picture them as guys with a pessimistic view of the world, kind of like myself when I was still a sulky teen. "Everything sucks!" they might claim. "So gaming is our escape!" Far too early to be judgmental, though…

Anyway, it's the next day as I speak, and I was searching around for Kariya's home in the neighbouring apartment building. Room 305, was it? Even as I approached, I could hear a number of voices coming from within. Sounds like they already got the ball rolling.

C'mon, Neku. You're not an awkward teenager anymore. You can make a few new friends, no problem. You may be a cactus, but that doesn't mean you can't mix with the flowers. Even though hooded Reapers could hardly be compared to flowers…

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. Right now, all that separated me from a whole other world was a door. Once I crossed it… well, who knows what I'd find. After some hesitation, I slowly raised my finger and pressed the doorbell, leaving a soft chime in its wake.

All at once there was the sound of some fumbling and someone hollering, "I'll get it." Some emo fellow – with bangs covering the eyes – was going to open the door, I just knew.

That's why I was surprised to see a girl standing in the open doorway before me. I was under the impression that Kariya would have guys over at his place, so the last person I expected to see was a girl and a pretty one at that.

She had short black hair, not unlike Shiki's. Her dress sense wasn't particularly outstanding – just a hoodie and a pair of very short shorts – but her petite figure made it work. The first thought that came to mind was that she was cute. The second thought was a personal reminder to myself to be careful and not make Eri jealous.

Have I seen this girl before? From ages ago, maybe? I felt like I have… somewhere…

Her face suddenly lit up and she came to life with a tornado of animated gestures.

"Oh!" she squealed, grinning. "Long time no see, Neku!"

I almost jumped. "H-How do you know my name?"

"Now, now, first things first. Come on in!" She grabbed my wrist with both hands and pulled me inside. "Lookie-lookie, guys, here he is!"

So this is what Kariya's home looked like. It was a one-room unit and a small one at that. Small as it may be, however, it was self-contained and from a glance it was easy to tell he had everything he could possibly need in this cramped place. One of the walls was lined with a couple of bookshelves, packed tightly with magazines and DVDs. On a smaller shelf was a selection of plastic figurines that were put out for display, mostly of characters from famous anime. There's even a small-scale replica of a World War II tank. There was no stove or anything that could be used to cook dinner, so I assume he would have to make do with a communal kitchen.

It's an otaku's heaven, and right in the middle of it, huddled around a coffee table and fiddling with laptops, were Kariya and another guy who looked as strangely familiar as the girl who answered the door. They looked up when I came onto the scene and greeted me, and Kariya had a smile that read, "I knew you wouldn't disappoint me".

"Glad to see you made it," he said. "Have a seat. We're still setting up the game, but once it's done we'll be good to go."

The other guy seemed hardly the type to stay still for two seconds. When he talked, he was like a flea on caffeine – energetic and with as many exclamation marks in his speech as possible.

"Nice to meet ya, bro!" he said, shaking my hand so much my whole body shook. "So you're the new guy! I can sense a certain something with you – I can feel it and I know for sure I'm right!"

Flabbergasted by his behaviour, I blurted, "Huh… Wh-What is it that you feel about me?"

"The flame! The flame of passion only gamers have!" This he said with a fist shaking with unquenchable excitement. "We're all kindred spirits here! I can't ever be wrong!"

Wh-Whatever makes him happy, I guess…

The girl found a break in the conversation and wedged herself in. "It's so good to see you again, Neku. How long has it been? Four, five years? Man… time flies, huh?"

Suddenly I was popular for no reason. Overwhelmed by the nonstop barrage of words from these two people, I could do little to respond in time. Luckily, Kariya helped to give me some breathing space.

"Guys, guys," he laughed. "Aren't you forgetting the most important thing? We have yet to get properly acquainted with each other."

The two suddenly realized how amateurish their mistake appeared and apologized at once.

"Sorry," giggled the girl. "We got carried away."

"No kidding," the guy said, without an exclamation mark for once. "Okay, bro, let's introduce ourselves! I'll go first, a'ight?"

He cleared his throat and adjusted the red bandanna wrapped around his head. Then, at long last, I knew his name.

"I'm Shuto Dan!" he proclaimed. "Just call me Shooter! Everyone does! I'm in my final year of high school, and I'm gonna make my living as a competitive gamer! So uh… nice to meet you! Again!" He grabbed my hand once more and shook it just as wildly as the first time. I felt like a ragdoll being tossed around.

The girl was next. "I'm Mina, freshman at Hotsuin InfoTech College, majoring in video game design." Wow, she's learning to make video games? That's really cool.

"Uh, I'm Neku… and, uh… I'm in my first year of college, taking up a major in graphics design."

Mina jabbed a question my way. "Hey Neku, do you remember me? We used to go to the same high school."

"Whoa!" gasped Shooter in surprise. "You mean, you knew him from before?!"

"What do you know," said an equally surprised Kariya. "It really is a small world."

Mina continued, "I'm pretty sure you might not remember… Regardless, do I ring any bells for you?"

Slightly embarrassed from all the attention, I worked my brain into overdrive to try and recall any figment of my memory regarding her existence. Unfortunately I couldn't, and felt a little bad to tell her the truth. I mean, she seemed kind of confident I'd know her. I could only hope she wouldn't be crushed in disappointment.

"I-I'm sorry," I gulped. "I'm afraid I can't remember…"

To my relief, she paid it no mind. "I'm not surprised. I was in the other class, so we never got to talk much. But I know about you because you were famous in school."

Kariya was all ears. "Didn't know you were a celebrity, Phones. What's the story, Mina?"

"He was the best pitcher in the baseball team!" She swung her arms in a rather poor attempt to mimic the action of throwing a ball. "His ball throws were totes awesome! Some of us even took to calling him the 'Demon's Arm'."

"Damn, bro!" Shooter was jumping now. "A baseball ace?! Kariya, you sure roped in some great talent into our gaming circle!"

"That was a long time ago," I muttered. "I don't play baseball now. Not ever since I broke my arm. Can't throw straight anymore."

"Yeah," said Mina, "it's a shame. We loved seeing you out on the field."

I didn't get to talk much to both of these new characters before Kariya announced that the game had officially begun.

"Let's all play 'catch up' later," he said. "I got the whole LAN setup working, so… action stations, everyone!"

All at once there was a flurry of activity. Shooter and Mina immediately dropped the conversation in favour of the game. The four of us sat all around the coffee table, with a laptop for each of us. With the exception of myself, all of us was ready for battle. I was still lost and now I was about to be thrust into a deathmatch session where it was kill or be killed. I could only guess it'd be frantic. But I'm a fast learner. Let's hope I'll be fast enough to trade shots.

Mina saw that I was getting slightly nervous and patted me on the arm. "Don't worry! You'll get the hang of it. First-person shooters all control alike!"

"Uh… thanks. I'll suss it all out, I think." Then, suddenly feeling very unsure of myself, I added, "Wait, are there any other features I need to know of to play the game efficiently? Like, I don't know… a skill tree, or bullet time or… or nanosuit powers or…"

Kariya chuckled. "You'll be fine. Trust me, you'll do just fine."

I didn't have time to think and devise some sort of crude strategy before the loading screen blinked away. Suddenly I was plonked deep in the middle of what looked like an abandoned city. The level of realism in the graphics amazed me. The textures looked so real I could almost reach out and touch them. Counter Fortress Strike Team was a pretty game.

No time for gawking, though. I had a game to play. With assault rifle in hand, I wandered around searching for my first victim. That's when I began to wonder: what was my play style even going to be like? I didn't know at all. For now, I should just go with the flow and see where I –

BANG!

The screen turned red in a flash, and I jumped from the shock. When the redness dissipated, I found my player character slumped on the floor, dead.

"Wh-What just happened?" I said, blinking in confusion. "I didn't do anything."

Shooter laughed. "I shot you, bro, that's what. Sorry, but there ain't no such thing as mercy in a video game!"

Mina agreed wholeheartedly, showing a bloodthirsty side that her I didn't see before. "We're the most hardcore bunch in the 'Buya. Better keep up!"

I was still frozen in disbelief. I didn't even get half a chance! Just how fast-paced was this game?

I respawned about five seconds after my first death. The game teleported me to a different location this time – an office building of sorts. Thinking I'd be safe with some walls around me, I went off to explore and hopefully find a good vantage point from which I could spy on my enemies. All of the action was taking place outside from what I could tell. This might be my chance to take a breather and –

BLAM!

There's that red screen again! What is it now?! Who shot me?

The killer stood above me, her handle floating above her helmet. TerMINAtor, it read.

"One for me," gloated Mina. "Don't feel too bad, Neku. Hee hee."

Despite my early losses, I was a good sport and laughed.

"No hard feelings. You might want to stop jumping up and down on my corpse, though. It's rather disturbing."

"I'm jumping for joy."

"Morbid… Why not do the moonwalk on me while you're at it."

"You're funny," she giggled. "I can see why Eri likes you."

Oh? Eri loved to brag about me, so I wanted to know more. When I hopped back into the action, I took pains to stay frosty. It's not easy trying to play and hold a conversation at the same time, but none of the others had any problems.

"You know Eri?" I asked.

"Yeah, she was my classmate in high school. We're still great pals and we talk a lot. That's how I know she's got a soft spot for you."

I felt my face about to cultivate a mild blush but tried to stay focused on the game.

Kariya interjected, "He isn't just her favourite, you know. He's going out with her, the lucky dog."

"Lucky?" Now Shooter was all ears. "Is this Eri chick that pretty?"

"Very! I almost wish she wasn't already taken." Way to put me at ease, pal…

"Wow, I kinda wanna see her. I attend classes at an all-boys school, so I don't get to see girls much."

"Hey," protested Mina, "I'm a girl too!"

He and Kariya spoke in unison. "You don't count!"

Mina couldn't say anything to counter that. All she could say with a half-grin, half-grimace was, "Ouch…"

I reached over and patted her on the arm much like she did me earlier. With as straight a face as possible, I joked, "It's okay. Even if you aren't recognized as a woman, at least you're not a man."

That got the other two guys aching in laughter. Mina pretended to be offended, replying with a pout, "Neku… you are not my son."

"It's okay. I'll still love you, Dad."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Gah!" cried Shooter. "I got hit by the newbie! Medic! Medic!"

I showed him no mercy and fired a burst of shots his way. He fell to the ground, blood spurting from his corpse.

"Might wanna stop calling me that," I sniggered. "I wouldn't be a newbie for much longer."

Mina nodded with approval. "You're quick to learn, I'll give you that. I might actually have to be careful from now on."

"Yeah, don't let your guard down."

Kariya presently came into view and I wasted no time aiming at him. Headshot, headshot… Gimme a head–

Oh, that's nice. In my excitement I forgot to reload.

The two seconds I took to pump more ammunition into my gun was enough time for him to give me the business end of his automatic pistol. The impact of each bullet stung like bees.

"Gah!" I yelped. "Okay, nice meeting you, dude. I'm outta here."

"Don't be shy," he cackled, chasing me down. "Let's be friends and it'll all be fine!"

"Not if you're trying to shoot me in the face!"

Lady Luck frowned upon me and I ran headlong into a dead end. He was easily able to catch up and blast my head off.

As I lay motionless on the ground and watched him run off, I jived, "Oh, now you're just going to ignore me. I thought you said we're going to be friends."

"I can't be friends with a dead body, man. I'm not into that kinda stuff."

"Oh, eew, don't!" Mina retched. "Don't even go there!"

So this is what it's like to participate in a gaming session. There's an odd synergy the four of us shared as we goofed around and made fools of ourselves. You have total freedom over what you want to say or do, and while everyone will trade jibes with you, no one's going to criticize you or make you feel uncomfortable. Then again, Kariya, Shooter and Mina were nice people. It probably wouldn't be like this with everyone else, so count me lucky that I was able to make friends with them.

Heh… I could get used to this.

Suddenly Shooter began tittering until he brought on a full round of laughter.

"What's so funny, man?" I asked.

The laughter forced him to squeeze out every word. "Glitch alert! Five-minute truce, everybody. Come to the horse statue in the middle of the city."

"A glitch?" Mina smiled widely at the sound of that. "This I gotta see. You know what they say: a glitch is worth over nine thousand words! Wait, did it really go like that? Ah, well. You coming, Kariya?"

"No need to," he replied. "I am the glitch."

When we converged at the aforementioned statue, we saw what he meant. He was suspended in mid-air with his butt stuck in the horse's mouth. It was quite the sight. Even he himself couldn't help but think the whole thing was pretty funny. Glitches in video games are hard to come by, so when one like this comes along, it's usually a source of impromptu comedy.

"How in the world?" I snorted. "You look kinda like a centaur… from a horror movie."

Kariya replied with a shrug, "I… uh, yeah. That's… I don't even know where to start."

"Are you God?" giggled Mina. "Hey, let's all pray to the mighty butt god for good luck!"

Shooter raised his arms up and down in supplication. "Please answer my prayers for a sexier tush!"

"I'll grant your wish later," said Kariya, playing along briefly. "Jokes aside, can someone help me out? I can't even move!"

A dastardly idea came to mind. I tossed a grenade at the foot of the statue and backed away while the others were still preoccupied with laughter. They'd never see it coming. Shooter and Mina were looking upwards at our hapless friend and didn't even get to see what I was doing. And because I was super discreet about it, not even Kariya noticed. Such a high-risk maneuver should not go this well.

Perhaps there really was a god at work, after all.

The explosion tore all three of them apart. Caught in the blast from point-blank range, none of them survived. As they stared shell-shocked at their own mangled corpses (Kariya's was still suspended in the air, I might add), I could resist it no more and now it was I who literally had the last laugh. Their gaping mouths were classic.

Shooter was the first to shake himself out of his dazed state. "Wha…?! Hoi! I thought we called a truce, bro!"

"Yeah, it was only for five minutes," I sniggered. "Time's up. Believe me, I checked."

"You're pretty sneaky for a first-timer, bro." Shooter tweaked with his bandanna, getting into what could only be described as 'serious mode'. "I'll take that as a challenge. Next time we meet, it's gonna be a duel to the death!"

"I'll take you on, no problem. Come at me."

"No, you come at me! In this circle I'm your senpai!"

Amidst the boasts and thrown gauntlets, Kariya was as calm as a rock.

"Well, at least I got unstuck."

XOXOXOXOXO

Our quartet of gamers stopped playing at halftime to have snacks. We had been gleefully killing each other for the past hour and now a break was in order. Kariya had cleverly timed the pizza delivery guy to come around now so that our food would be piping hot.

Mina took this opportunity to probe into what's been happening with me ever since my graduation from high school. She's a chatty one, just like Eri. Those lips wouldn't stop flapping. Now, if she had bubblegum pink hair and high libido she'd be a firm contender for being Eri the Second.

"I thought for sure you'd be going out with Shiki by now," she muttered, nibbling on her pizza slice. "Everyone could see you two were close."

Truthfully I admitted, "We still are. And yes, I used to like her in a romantic way. But fate turned out differently… I have no regrets, though. I'm glad I ended up with Eri. Wouldn't have it any other way."

She smiled. "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters, right?"

Shooter groaned in dismay. "I wish I was enrolled in a coed school, bro! I've never had a girlfriend before."

"Me neither," lamented Kariya. "All those pickup lines and where do they get me?"

I sighed. "I think it's exactly those pickup lines of yours that put girls off."

He didn't listen. "Maybe I should learn to speak French. It's the language of love, right? Girls are suckers for romantic French stuff!"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from the guy who used to give me love advice."

Just for the fun of it he purposely put on a fake French accent – so bad it didn't even sound like one – and jammed a few French words into his Japanese. It was the most atrocious thing I had to listen to.

"Would you care for some omelette du fromage, mademoiselle? I assure you, it's very tres bien."

"I don't think that's how you pronounce it."

"Au contraire! The pronounciation is perfect, sil vous plait! Um… French toast?"

"…Okay, now that is just sad."

This running gag should grow stale right about now, but he had some kick left in him. What he came up with next was this charming example of linguistic eloquence:

"El maiz utilizado en este producto contiene trazas de soya."

Silence. Absolute silence. Well, somewhere outside I could hear a car going by, but that's it.

"I wanted to try saying that," admitted Kariya, proud that he even managed to say that out loud. "Glad I pulled it off perfectly. It took me ages to memorise it all."

Mina had something to point out.

"Uh, wasn't that Spanish?"

Shooter suddenly became sane for a change. "You're a bad liar, bro. You read all that from the back of this packet of tortillas."

The cat was out of the bag and Kariya rubbed the back of his neck in a way that said, "Whoops!"

"It's just a joke, fellas, heh… By the way, what I said means 'The corn used in this product contains traces of soybeans'. It wouldn't work on the girls, that's for sure."

As the others started to playfully chastise him for a joke badly told, my phone rang. The screen flashed Eri's name – what a pleasant surprise! So far we had to make do with chats and messages in order not to arouse suspicion from her parents. For her to actually call me now, it must mean she found an opportunity to talk at long last, and if what she said was any indication, then such opportunities were hard to come by. I ought to treasure it like gold.

Elated as I was to receive her call, however, this wasn't exactly a convenient time. I would prefer to talk in the comfort of our own home, not at someone's house within earshot of three other people.

I excused myself and went outside, leaving Kariya and company to themselves. Hoping they wouldn't be able to hear me through the front door, I took the call.

Eri's voice was music to my ears. I missed that infectious laugh terribly. "Neku! What's shakin', bacon?"

"You know me, I'm always cool. So… where are you anyway? You're calling from somewhere safe, I presume?"

"Yeah, I'm at the neighbourhood park. It's the quietest place I can think of to cool my head. Seriously… There are so many visitors at my house, I can't walk around in my panties anymore!"

"I'm not sure you should be walking around in your underwear in front of your parents either…"

"Okay, enough about me for now! What're you up to?"

"Me? I'm at Kariya's place. He invited me to a LAN party…"

Eri expressed shock over the line. "A lame party?! Is Kariya that bad at being a host? He didn't just play music from the radio and tell you guys to have fun… did he? Or maybe he microwaved a bunch of stale TV dinners and left the TV on. That's gotta leave an impression…"

"No, no," I laughed. "Nothing like that at all." The duty fell to me to explain to her what a LAN party is, and when she heard that it was about gaming, a form of entertainment she had zero interest in, she just kind of deflated and shrugged the topic aside.

"Oh, so that's what it is," she mumbled. "And here I thought there was a rave going on. Okay, I'm not missing out on anything then."

"Yeah… um, so how'd that family reunion go?"

"It's fun to meet up with everyone in the same place, but it's all so hectic, since my family is hosting the reunion. Me, my parents, and Granny… This is a big event and we pretty much handled everything, and although I'm happy with how it all turned out, I'm also exhausted."

"'Granny'? Oh, your grandma's helping out too, huh?"

"Ah, forgive me. That's what we call our live-in housekeeper. For some reason, she insists on being called that. But she's not that old! And for a middle-aged lady she's really sprightly. Heck, she's even got a black belt in karate."

"Wow, that sounds cool," I said in awe. "Now I know from whom you learnt your groin crusher moves. I figured you'd have to learn that from a pro."

Giggling peppered the other end of the line. "Granny may have taught me a few tricks in her spare time, but I'm still no expert."

As I continued to spend some much-needed quality time with my girlfriend, seconds turned into minutes and the LAN party began to slip from my mind. I couldn't help it… Talking to Eri was always so fun and interesting. And we probably wouldn't get another chance like this in a while. We were desperately trying to milk this phone call for all that it was worth.

But our break was almost over and I was due to jump back into the action very soon. I couldn't keep the crew waiting. No… just five more minutes… This'll be quick, guys, I promise…

"By the way, Neku, you're not skipping out on your swimming lessons, are you?"

"Of course not, Eri. But I don't have anyone to accompany and watch over me, so I stick to the shallow end of the pool, just to be safe."

"That's fine, I guess. You're not very confident with the deep end yet, so what you're doing is the right thing. Still, since you're by yourself at the pool… can I trust you not to stare at some other girl's butt?"

I could smell an opening for some humour coming right up. Teasing her, I said, "Of course you can. I'm more of a leg and midriff person, anyway…"

There's that magical moment again – when either of us picks up on the funny that the other has started and gets the ball rolling. She was already on the case.

"I knew it!" she snapped jokingly. "I take my eyes off of you for one second and see what happens! Are you telling me your cute girlfriend isn't enough for you?"

I was on the verge of coming up with the perfect retort when all of a sudden I caught a glimpse of the front door squeaking open behind me… and squeezed in the narrow space were three faces, stacked on top of one another like a totem pole. Kariya at the top, Shooter in the middle, and Mina at the bottom. All of them were looking at me impatiently. Their frowns were like trenches. Gah… I took too long talking on the phone after all!

"H-Hey, Eri?" I gulped. "I hate to change the topic, but – "

Unfortunately, she was still in joke mode and couldn't get the hint.

"What's this now?" she growled affectionately. "Trying to escape?"

"N-No, I… eugh… this is kind of a – "

"I'm not letting you get away so easily, young man! I still have a lesson to teach you!"

"B-But, seriously, it's kind of inconvenient right now…"

By some weird stroke of luck, she decided to give it a rest. Maybe she felt that the novelty of the joke had worn off. At any rate, she finally gave me some peace of mind. About time… Kariya and the rest didn't look like they were going to tolerate another minute of waiting.

After a good laugh, she said, "Alright, alright, I'll let you go. I'm running out of time, actually. I gotta get back home soon. Any later and my parents will give me an earful."

"Ah… Th-Then, I guess I'll talk to you some other time."

"Yeah, it's too bad. Never mind! Where there's a will, there's a way! So, um, I'll catch you later?"

Whew… I really overstepped my boundaries there. Gotta apologise to the others…

"Right then," I said. "Bye for now."

"Bye!"

And that's that.

Or so I thought. My troubles weren't over.

Anxious to get the call over with, my fingers fumbled with my phone and accidentally tapped the speaker button instead of ending the call. It shouldn't be a problem since she was going to hang up, except she didn't.

"Oh yeah, one more thing!" her voice blared at full volume. "I just got us a new set of luxury brushes and sponges. Next time we take a bath, let's have a blast scrubbing each other up!"

The blood froze in my veins. I wanted to believe that this was all an embarrassing dream, but the truth was out in the open and I couldn't deny it. Kariya, Shooter, Mina… They heard every word. How couldn't they? It was audible! The looks of shock and incredulity on their faces were burnt into the back of my eyes. Kariya and Shooter just stayed there, stunned and with their mouths stuck wide open. Mina was blushing like crazy. Oh god, this was mortifying.

I immediately toggled off speaker mode, giving myself the privacy I so sorely needed. How could I be so careless? I was such a dimwit!

"Neku?" said Eri. "Hello? You still there?"

Coughing down my discomfort, I forced myself to sound chipper. "I-I'd love that. Looking… forward to it."

"I knew you wouldn't be a downer. Okay, see ya!"

Once the call ended, I found myself locked in an uncomfortable staring match between myself and the three stooges. Part of me wanted to give them hell for eavesdropping on a private conversation. But they didn't even plan to listen in on me in the first place; I just slipped up and now they knew one of my dirty secrets. Whose fault was this? I couldn't answer without kicking myself.

Mina's cheeks were like hot coals. Her lips quivered open and closed, like she wanted to ask something but didn't dare. Finally the curiosity was too much for her to bear and, ever so carefully, she put forward her burning query.

"N-Neku… Is your relationship with Eri already at the, um, naked stage…?"

Kariya and Shooter wanted to know too, but remained silent, waiting for me to reply. What's a man to say when his dirty linen has been flung around in front of others, by his own hands no less?

Unwilling to elaborate, I settled for this:

"L-Let's just say she and I are very close and leave it at that."

XOXOXOXOXO

Part two of our gaming session was due to start in a couple of moments, and the heat from my cheeks still wouldn't go away. The others tried to act like nothing was out of the ordinary, but their inability to say anything meaningful only served to keep the awkwardness intact.

Kariya finally decided that enough was enough and clapped his hands together, demanding everybody's attention.

"Alright guys," he said cheerily, "anyone up for team deathmatch?"

"Team deathmatch?" Shooter was intrigued. "We haven't done that in a long time, bro! Last we tried, it was two against one and it wasn't any fun. But now…"

"Yes. Now there are four of us. We can divide ourselves equally this time, into teams of two."

A simple round of rock-paper-scissors determined the members of each team. It came down to myself and Shooter versus Kariya and Mina.

"Alright, guys," announced Kariya, "we all know what team deathmatch is all about, but I'm just gonna go ahead and repeat the rules for everyone's benefit, especially Phones'. I'll make this quick, don't worry."

I had more or less of an idea of what to expect, so when I heard the gameplay structure of team deathmatch, everything clicked into place. There were a couple of slight variations from what I was used to as the norm, but otherwise it was just as I thought it would be.

"The main objective for each team is to accumulate the highest number of kills, but of course you knew that. Each kill nets you one point, but killing your team members incurs a three point penalty. So if you mess up and frag your friend by mistake, your team will have to work three times as hard to get back the lost points."

"Don't kill your friends," I said. "Just like in real life. Got it."

"Also, if you kill yourself, it counts against your team's score. So going kamikaze on the enemy isn't gonna work."

"Alright, good to know."

"Phones and Shooter will be the blue team. Mina and I will be red. Are we clear?"

"Hell yeah," said Mina, pumping a fist in excitement. "Shall we dance?"

"Sure, we'll do the freaking samba. Let's go, guys!"

For the most part, playing team deathmatch was exactly the same as normal deathmatch. Even though I was cooperating with someone else to take down the opposition, I was still very much left to my own devices. The only difference was that I should watch out for Shooter and not put a bullet in him by mistake. That's all there was to it, pretty much.

Some time went by and nothing interesting happened on my end. It was all so quiet. I must be missing out on the bulk of the action. I made my way to the centre of the map, hoping to find an opponent to challenge.

I didn't need to wait long. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of someone emerging from underneath a bridge. Aha! Oh no you don't, I wouldn't be done in so easily! My reflexes kicked into gear and I squeezed the trigger, watching the enemy soldier fall over dead. Yes! Score one for the t–

"Hoi!" cried a livid Shooter. "Why'd you shoot me, bro?!"

"Huh? I shot…?"

"It's me, bro! Can't you tell I'm your teammate?! We're three points down now!"

Upon closer examination of his corpse, I realized he was right. I had made a costly mistake that set our team back significantly. Whoops.

"Uh… sorry, man. I-I'll be more careful next time."

He had no time to be really affected by our loss. The game was still in progress and the timer was ticking down. With half an hour till the session was over, there was no time to lose.

"Never mind, bro," he said. "I'll make up for your mistake this time. Just try to know who's who in the meantime!"

"Blue good, red bad. Got it."

Kariya was chuckling, but he wasn't being mean. He's more like an old man who was reminiscing about his younger years when he used to make blunders of his own.

"Don't take it too hard, Phones," he said. "Everyone makes mistakes… Oh crud – Mina! Get out of there!"

"Huh?"

An explosion rocked the building nearby. I could see smoke billowing out from one of the windows. In the top-left corner of my HUD, I saw a new entry in the growing list of kills made throughout the session.

CurryPie killed TerMINAtor with Proximity Mine
(Red team -3 points)

CurryPie was Kariya's handle, by the way. Looking at this, I understood more or less what had happened.

"Kariya," groaned Mina, "I thought we covered this last time. Proximity mines are off-limits in team deathmatch! They're just too dangerous to be practical. I mean, they don't recognize friendlies!"

"S-Sorry. I forgot about our self-imposed ban on proxies."

"Toss out whatever mines you still have! It wouldn't do to accidentally prime – "

"Uh, y-yeah, about that."

"Wh-What? What is it? Oh god no…" A look of horror washed over her face. "Don't tell me you primed one of your mines by accident."

Kariya was almost too afraid to say the truth. "Dammit, I just ran out of time to get away safely. If I so much as move a muscle now, I'll get blown up."

"Y-You idiot! There's no way you wouldn't get killed now! Either someone kills you or the mine does!"

"Cut me some slack, man! I'm trying to think through th– "

BOOM!

CurryPie committed suicide with Proximity Mine
(Red team -3 points)

"M-My bad," he muttered sheepishly. "I… uh, took a step…"

"Oh god!" snapped Mina indignantly. "You suck!"

What a twist of events. Hypocritical humour at its absolute finest. It's no wonder Shooter was laughing it up. Heck, even I thought it was funny.

Irony is a beautiful thing sometimes.

XOXOXOXOXO

Despite the setbacks suffered by the red team, their score was still higher than ours by a few points. At least we were close behind, nipping at their heels.

Speaking of which, I was being chased by Mina through a maze of buildings. I hoped to lose her there, but she was always one step ahead of me and would give me more than my fair share of rude surprises.

Maybe I could try going to the rooftop and waiting for her to come to me. The staircase leading there was a bottleneck that I could exploit. The moment she showed up, I'd shoot her.

It sounded like a fine plan at the time. Unfortunately, as I rounded the last corner…

…my brains splattered all over the wall.

She had already arrived at the rooftop before me, waiting for me to show up. She'd stolen my idea, right out of my head, before I could even put it to good use!

I yelped out of instinct. "Gah!"

Shooter didn't take my death well. "Phones? What happened?! Phones?! PHOOOOOOOONES…!"

"Good god, don't yell like that! You damn nearly ruptured my eardrums!"

"That's Shooter for you," quipped Mina. "No volume control."

"What's that supposed to mean, bro?!" he snapped. "I'm not a TV remote!"

"O-Of course you're not," she sighed. "I'm just saying you have no indoor voice."

"Your trash talk ain't gonna work on me! Everyone knows voices can be heard, so they can't ever be indoors! Hah!"

"Uh, that's not – never mind. I give up."

"Then I win. Take that, bro!"

Now it was my turn to sigh. What's sad was that he still didn't have a clue of what was happening. "My condolences to whoever is teaching you Japanese, Shooter."

Five minutes in, we were still playing hard. As the points racked up, we fell into a zen-like rhythm of murder and mayhem. Offing our opponents, watching the blood fountains… now that's true bliss. It's almost frightening how therapeutic the colour red can be.

Then Mina had to interrupt the flow of things by asking a very hard question.

"So, um, Neku? Eheh… I know we're all having a good time and my question is going to be a bit embarrassing, but… uh…"

"But what?"

"H-How… um… how…"

"Come on, out with it. Ask already."

Her face was growing hot. With that amazing shade of red, it didn't really take much effort for me to guess what she was thinking.

"Uh… H-How many times do you and Eri do it every week?"

The game ground to a halt. Mice stopped clicking and keyboards were still. Three curious pairs of eyes were focused on me like lasers. I kind of figured it'd be about this, but it's still mortifying.

I squawked, "E-Excuse me?!"

Mina saw how outraged I was and backed off… for the most part.

"Sorry!" she blurted. "I didn't mean any harm at all! I'm not trying to put you out, honest! This is totally not a devious tactic to throw your concentration off in the game!"

"Why is your denial so suspicious?!"

"N-No, really! I'm… I wouldn't go that far! But Eri's my close friend, and I'd like to know if she's alright… and stuff… y'know, stuff?"

I passed a hand over my forehead, heaving a slightly irritated sigh. "Admit it. You're just fishing for gossip."

She reacted like I had pierced her through the heart with a spear. The guilt suddenly smothered her and her shoulders slumped, giving her the expression of a sad puppy. I knew it: I'd struck the bull's-eye. How bothersome…

"I'm so sorry!" she said. "I never meant anything bad to begin with. It's just… that conversation you had with her over the phone earlier… I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I don't have many friends who take baths together with their boyfriends, you know, so it really got me wondering if that's a trend or something…"

Huh? This was what it's all about? Taking baths together? And here I thought she was asking me how many times Eri and I had s–

Ahem!

I wasn't sure I could answer this with a straight face, though. Especially not with two other nosy listeners nearby.

But I guess I could trust these guys… The shenanigans Eri and I were often up to were pretty much out in the open by now anyway. Besides, I should think it's fairly normal for couples to end up naked at least once during the relationship, whether it's in the bath or at the local onsen or… in bed… Double ahem!

"…At least once a day," I admitted with great reluctance. "H-Happy now?"

Blushing was contagious. The redness on my face was making Mina's deepen in colour even more. Shooter wasn't immune either. And Kariya was clearing his throat way too much for it to look natural anymore.

"And to think," said the latter in an almost fatherly tone, "I was the one who used to give you love advice. Now look how well you're scoring with your girl! At this rate the student might be able to teach the master."

"Oh wow," squeaked Mina, cupping her cheeks in her hands. "I… I don't think I could ever take my clothes off in front of a boy. You two are awfully bold."

"Bro," breathed Shooter in reverence, "you must be packing some sweet dating moves for you to get this far with her! What's your cheat code, man? I could learn something."

Kariya had his little notebook out to take notes. And with Mina also wanting in on my secrets, it was three against one. But this was not the time for that!

"Guys, look," I said, "we should talk less and play more. A game is in progress."

That seemed to jolt them back to their senses. A lot of beans had already been spilled, but I wasn't prepared to empty the entire can just yet.

As we settled back into the game, however, Kariya made it a point to find out eventually. "We can pry into your love life later." And the other two felt the same way. I shuddered.

This was going to be a long journey.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Can't catch me!" sniggered Kariya, dodging into an alleyway.

My boots made sharp crunching noises on the asphalt as I gave chase. He was in my line of sight, but too far for me to hit accurately. I sprinted after him, coming out of the other end of the alleyway just in time to see him retreat inside an abandoned warehouse. Alright, he's cornered now!

The only way to enter the warehouse was through a small side door. I counted my risks and decided to charge right in. The place was filled with racks and boxes and, most importantly, hiding places. He could be anywhere. I tiptoed slowly through, making sure to stay behind cover at all times.

Suddenly, a gunshot rang out, and a bullet zipped past my head! I hurried for a safe spot where I could hide. That's when he started chuckling in a sadistic manner.

"Hey Phones, you still know how to play hide and seek? You better find me before I find you!"

He still thought he had this under control… Was he that confident, or did he have an ace up his sleeve?

Shooter threw some advice my way. "Watch out! Kariya's a pro at mind games! Don't let him get to you! I'd help out, but I'm kinda stuck at the other end of the map."

"You do your thing," I said. "I'll, uh, see what I can do."

Even Mina, who was on the opposing team, gave me a friendly warning.

"Careful," she said with a smile. "He's good."

Kariya laughed, not the least perturbed by his own teammate giving me some quick on-the-spot coaching. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Although my palms were already sweating, I tried to sound cool and collected.

"…Bring it."

Now I just had to make sure I didn't have to eat crow. Considering how amateurish my skill level was compared to his, that might actually come sooner rather than later.

I skulked around the warehouse, combing it down to the last inch. No stone was left unturned, but I still had trouble finding him. He must be moving too. That's why it was so hard to locate him.

"He's got to be somewhere here," I muttered under my breath to myself. "Or could he be – "

At that moment, I happened to turn around. That's when I caught sight of Kariya in the act of sneaking out of a dark alcove, right behind me! He fired at me, the first few bullets tearing into my body. Luckily I was quick to dodge out of harm's way before he could do too much damage.

"Crud!" I cried. "I got hit!"

"Heh heh heh… Still think you can beat me?"

"I-It's not over yet!"

What followed was an intense battle within the confines of the warehouse. Both of us jumped from cover to cover in a dance to the death. Whereas he was calm and methodical in his approach, firing a couple of shots at a time, I was blasting him at every opportunity with an excess of bullets. Unfortunately, he was good at dodging and most of my shots missed. If only he could stay still… Damn hamster!

Then I saw that I was almost out of bullets and that's when I knew things were going to suck. One more fit of uncontrolled shooting and my ammo count would be black. I needed bullets… There's got to be a pickup somewhere…

"Ollie ollie oxen free," he cackled. "Come on out, why don't you…"

He was clearly enjoying himself. It felt like hell simply staying alive for me, though. I guess that's the difference between our skill levels. He's way better than me. Still, anyone can be killed with the right approach…

As I dove for the safety of a nearby pillar, nearly getting my head split open by a rifle burst, the gears of my mind spun like whirlpools. He's closing in… I couldn't rely on Shooter either. At this rate, I wouldn't last much longer. It's time to take a gamble… Should I try to escape and risk being pumped full of lead, or take him head-on and… risk being pumped full of lead?

"Hey Phones," he said with an evil smile, "you're out of ammo, aren't you?"

Trying to sound defiant, I scoffed, "Hah! What makes you think that?"

"You must have already fired at least a hundred bullets. I can tell from the firing sounds your gun makes to know you're packing an MP5… and the maximum ammo limit for MP5 rifles in this game is 120. There are no ammo pickups in this warehouse – trust me, I checked – so it's impossible for you to replenish your ammo reserves. Therefore, that leaves you with about twenty bullets left. Not a whole lot, is it?"

H-He's something else to be able to deduce that much from such limited information! What chance did I have against him…

No, focus! I mustn't let him get to me. He's using his extensive knowledge of the game to psych me. If he thought I'd make a blunder because of his words, he's got another thing coming!

But things were looking bad for me. My rifle mag was almost empty and my backup pistol was useless and underpowered. There was a single grenade in my inventory, as well as a rocket launcher. In such close quarters, using explosives was tantamount to suicide. There was nothing I could use effectively.

Gah… There's no time! I needed an idea… any idea… even a stupid one!

Wait… a stupid idea?

All this time, we'd been relying on the same old tactics to stay alive and kill efficiently. But we never did any thinking outside the box. Should I try something new in hopes of catching Kariya off guard?

It was worth a shot!

His footsteps were drawing nearer to my hiding place. If I was to take action, it would have to be now.

"It took too long," he sighed, thinking he'd bagged an easy victory, "but it all ends here, Phones."

"Yeah," I said, gritting my teeth. "It ends here alright."

I directed my rocket launcher up at the ceiling and pulled the trigger. The ensuing explosion shattered it to pieces and there was a big hole where it used to be. Chunks of debris rained down directly on top of him, just as I had planned. Although he survived the impact of the collapsing roof, he was stumbling and trying to regain his balance. For a moment, he forgot about me…

…and that's the moment I was counting on!

"Now!"

I sprang out and unloaded all twenty bullets at him. Not all of them hit him, so he was still alive, just barely. For the finishing touch, I prepared a grenade…

"I choose you!"

…and tossed it right under his feet. He was so delirious he didn't even notice. Then he was gone. Turned into a smorgasbord of ludicrous gibs. In real life, his eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open for good measure. He didn't expect that to happen. But yes, I actually killed him and good.

All that thinking and last-minute strategizing took so much out of me. The victory of a hard-earned kill should fill me with elation; instead I was just washed over with relief. I didn't even get to do the obligatory whoop in celebration.

Kariya smiled approvingly. "Gotta admit, I didn't think you'd pull through. I thought for sure you'd be a goner, but then bam! You managed to turn the situation around. Heh… not bad at all."

"Sounds like you did something cool," smirked Mina. "Makes me wish I'd been there to see it myself."

Shooter clapped me on the back happily. "You did great, bro! Keep it up!"

Now I could get back to fighting normally. No more of that cat-and-mouse tomfoolery, nosiree. That's much too stressful for my taste.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't get a break.

Kariya was chuckling, much to my discomfort. What was he planning? I didn't have time for this. I just wanted to play a game, for goodness' sake!

"Hey," he said, "it's too early to be celebrating just yet, Phones. We've got five more minutes… and I demand a rematch."

Not again?! Well, if I were in his shoes, it's easy to see why he'd want to challenge me, but… c'mon!

"C-Can't we just play the old-fashioned way?"

"Ooh, what's this? Starting to crack already? Too afraid to lose?"

"No, I'm – "

"We'll do one more duel, Phones. But we're going to make this one a little special."

It was impossible to turn him down. He was acting like I'd already given the green light to another fight. Upon hearing this, Shooter and Mina showed considerable interest.

"You can do it, bro!" cheered Shooter. "Leave the hoodie girl to me!"

Mina scoffed, "Hah, big words, bandanna boy!" And so their rivalry would continue to its bitter end.

What choice did I have? I had to wing it a second time.

"F-Fine," I gulped. "But if this is going to be a duel, at least let me grab some ammo first."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just come up to the rooftop of the central tower. That's where I respawned. And double-time it, will you?"

Without wasting another second more, I headed for the avenue of our final fight, which was a minute's run away. Making it all the way to the top would take another minute, since there was no elevator. That would leave us with approximately three minutes to squeeze in one last kill. Just what did he have in mind? And what did he mean when he said about not having to worry about weapons?

When I set foot on the rooftop, there he was, waiting for me. The whole time I approached him, it was with great caution and his head in my crosshairs. My finger was on the left mouse button, poised to click and put a bullet through his teeth. But he didn't do anything.

"Good," he said. "You made it. Looks like we have… three minutes and thirty-seven seconds left. Not a whole lot to go on, but I'll take it."

"So, about this duel…"

"Yeah. Let's get started."

He threw his weapons away, dropping them off the roof, much to my surprise.

"What're you doing?!" I spluttered. "You've got nothing to fight with now! Are you insane?!"

"Nope. I still got a knife."

That's the default melee weapon every player had. Something to fall back on in the event that you have nothing left to shoot with. But everyone knows that if you get to that stage, you're in big trouble. So what in the world was up with him?

"Hey," he continued, "toss out your guns too."

"Why should I?"

"Because we're going to have a knife duel, you and me."

Finally, an answer. Everything clicked into place. "Oh… I kinda wished you said that right from the start instead of keeping me in the dark."

"Don't you know the best movies in the world employ the 'surprise twist ending' tactic?"

"But this is a LAN party, not a movie – "

"I've always wanted to do this. Now hurry up. We have less than three minutes left."

"Alright, alright, I got it."

I threw away all the guns on hand, leaving myself just as naked and vulnerable as he was. Even as I was building up the courage to face this new challenge head-on, there was something that bothered me…

"Hey Kariya," I said, "so I get that whoever kills the other is the winner…"

"That's it! That's all there is to it."

"What happens if we run out of time and we're both still alive?"

That's the question that stumped him.

"Uh… I haven't thought of that. I guess… if that happens, I… win by default?"

I made sure he knew I was outraged. "The hell! That's not fair! You can't even achieve by-default wins in-game!"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, then we just gotta make sure one of us wins the normal way."

"…You don't think things through, do you?"

"Heh… I've always been a carefree guy, you know me…"

I heaved a sigh. "Never mind… Let's fight."

"Thanks to all that talking, we now have ninety seconds remaining. Make the most of it."

With knife at the ready, I walked towards him slowly, while he stood his ground. How in the world was one supposed to do a knife duel anyway? Attacking from the back was a guaranteed kill, but from the side or the front, it's not as effective. The first thing I had to keep in mind was not to let him get behind me.

Suddenly, when I was five steps away, he lunged at me, his knife thrust outwards. It was a good thing I was quick to move out of his way. However, when I tried to retaliate, he deflected my swipe with next to no effort. I didn't know you could parry knife attacks in this game!

That moment of surprise tore an opening in my defenses and he stabbed me for a swift but punishing hit. And he took out a huge chunk of health in the process! I scrambled away, but he simply followed. I ran as fast as I could in circles around our makeshift coliseum, but it was a tough battle with him doggedly chasing me.

"Hey," he sniggered, "you know why I chose the rooftop as the location for our duel?"

Everything clicked into place. "Because there's nowhere to run?"

"Bingo! By the way, we have 45 seconds left."

Shooter cheered me on from the sidelines. "Go, bro, go! Just keep at it!"

Easier said than done! You're not the one fighting for your life with only a knife! On top of trying not to die, I had less than a minute to secure a win. I was in quite the fix. There was no doubt who the better fighter was.

And he was gloating. "Heh heh… Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee… I'm the greatest!"

Geh… Now that's just obnoxious –

Wait… 'float like a butterfly'? Float?

That's it! Whenever I tried to hit him, he'd always make a quick dash backwards. I could use this against him!

Thirty seconds left… Gotta hurry… Gotta think fast!

Okay, first order of the day – I retreated as far from him as I could manage. Naturally, he followed like a man possessed. But this was a rooftop with limited running space. There was only so much ground I could cover before being forced to stop at the very edge of the roof. His lips curled up into a sadistic smile when he saw I was trapped between him and a forty-foot drop.

Only twelve seconds left… He didn't bother with the wisecracks anymore and charged at me like a bull. But I didn't let him have his way.

At the last moment, I leapt right over his head and landed behind him. He missed so terrifically. Good thing the video game physics here allowed for exaggerated jump height! You certainly can't jump right over another human being in the real world! But before I could deliver the death blow onto his back, he turned around to face and parry me. Regardless, I still swung wildly into him, and he backed away… all according to plan.

Our positions were switched. So when he stepped back, it was onto thin air.

He plummeted like a sack of cement.

As he fell to his death, I couldn't help shouting a certain iconic phrase. The timing and setting was just perfect. To not say it would be a waste. I know it's corny. But I had to say it.

"This… is… SPARTA!"

There was a mass of bits and pieces where he hit the ground. Very messy. I may not have directly killed him, so I didn't get any points, but by getting himself killed, it counted as a suicide which cost his team three points. No matter which way you sliced it, my hastily cobbled plan was a resounding success.

This duel was mine. I'd won!

Even though I was tired from the stress of two intense battles in a row, I allowed myself a quick declaration of victory.

"I did it!"

The timer went off, signaling the end of the session. My team still lost against Kariya's by two points, but I was so happy from defeating him that I didn't care. Actually, nobody cared. Although we had the incentive to win at all costs, this was just a game where everyone wanted to have some good clean fun.

Shooter and Mina congratulated me heartily.

"Damn, bro," said Shooter. "Looks like you did good!"

"That's not beginner's luck anymore," giggled Mina. "Those skills of yours are the real deal. Great going!"

Riding on my bloated ego, I boasted a little. "Well, I am a gamer after all. Of course I'd work something out!"

Kariya was thoroughly amused and entertained. He lost on both counts but he was still cheery and it was clear he had a fun time sparring with me.

"Bravo, Phones, bravo," he said with a friendly chuckle. "I'd expect no less from a guy who regularly plays Heroes of Ziodim."

Upon hearing this, Shooter and Mina turned to me with eyes as wide as saucers.

"You play HoZ, bro?!" gasped the bandanna guy. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?!"

"We play that game too!" said his hoodie girl counterpart. Excited to have found a fellow player, she whipped out her phone. "Can you give me your ID? I wanna send you a friend request!"

"Me too, bro! Me too!"

These two took the cake in regards to being hardcore gamers. Mina was a Mage Knight at Level 75 while Shooter, playing as a Berserker, was a few thousand experience points shy of the level cap of 99. Their expertise made me feel like a small-timer. At least I got myself some really strong allies and their phone numbers for good measure.

Shooter continued to gab on and on. "We should totally form a guild, bro! Us four will be like a traveling band of mercenaries, ready to tackle any mission, any raid boss, any annoying fetch quest… anything at all! We'll be like… like an extraordinary league of gentlemen or something!"

However, his idea garnered friction that quickly brought it to an untimely end.

"Sorry," muttered Mina, not keen in the least, "but I want to stay with the Leviathan Brigadiers. My college buddies are there."

"I can't just up and leave my own guys," said Kariya. "Me and them… We've been in the business of saving each other's butts for at least two years now."

"No way…" Seeing that his plans were already falling apart, Shooter turned to me with desperation in every gesture. "What about you, Phones? Please don't tell me you also – "

I shook my head sadly. "Sorry, I can't do it, man. I'm already committed to my own alliance."

His shoulders caved in like they were made of jelly. For a moment, I thought we'd broken him. But then he shrugged, resigning himself to what he felt was a less awesome way to play a game. He bounced back quickly, coming up with the next best thing.

"If forming a guild is out of the question," he said, "then we should at least give ourselves a collective name. Luckily for y'all, I've thought of the perfect moniker!"

Kariya cocked his head. "Oh yeah? What'd that be?"

Shooter puffed out his chest proudly. "We'll all be… the Super Duper Hyper Ultimate Gaming Sentinels of Leetsauce Awesomeness!"

Almost immediately, the other three of us gave him our thoughts. "…No."

"What? Why not?!" He seemed to be under the impression that it was so amazing it couldn't ever be refused. When he demanded reasons, each of us told him one by one.

"Too long," I said.

"Too impractical," said Kariya.

"Too stupid," was Mina's answer.

"Oi!" Shooter was not happy. "We can't have a name that sucks! We need a name to end all names!"

"Wh-Why do we need a name in the first place? It's not like we're going to enroll ourselves into a gaming competition. We just want to play games and have fun."

"Sure, girl, but wouldn't it be cool? It makes a great conversation topic for starters. When people ask what our hobbies are, we can say we play games as the Super Duper Hyper – "

Kariya held up a hand to stop him. "Dude, dude… Even if we're going to call ourselves something, you'd do well to keep it short. I don't want to take three days to pronounce our group name. It's… ridiculous."

"Oh, come on… You guys aren't even trying to entertain the idea. In that case… you!"

Shooter's outstretched index finger was pointing sharply in my direction.

"Phones, you do it. I'm counting on you to give us the coolest name possible. Make it awesome, make it badass, make sure it rolls off the tongue. It's fine if you have to plagiarize, just give us something to work with!"

I cast my glance at the other two, who were both uninterested. I wasn't particularly interested myself, but seeing Shooter try his hardest to get us involved in his silly schemes – and failing – made me feel a little sorry for him. Sure, he's an expert gamer whose skills we all recognized, but he's also the youngest and least mature one in our circle; his way of thinking was juvenile much of the time, and Mina and Kariya would rather have none of it. Maybe I'll play along for once so he wouldn't feel like the odd one out.

"C'mon, Phones, not you too!" he groaned in dismay. "Don't leave me hanging! What's a guy got to do to drum up some support?"

I coughed. "I, uh… Look, I'm not the best with names, so I can't guarantee you a winner."

He brightened up when he saw that I wasn't being completely dismissive of his idea like the others were. "It's okay, bro! Let's hear it!"

"What about… um… Shibuya Gamers?"

I looked around at all of them, each person displaying varying degrees of enthusiasm. The happiest of the lot, naturally, was Shooter. He was reacting with glee to my suggestion.

"Oh, that's a cool name, bro!" he said. "But it's not enough… Maybe… if we made it all capital letters, and swapped out the A's with the number 4 – 'cause there are four of us… and then…"

He was starting to mumble to himself and I wanted to be sure he was still with us.

"Uh, Shooter?"

"That's it! I've hit upon the greatest idea! From this moment onwards, we are the… SHIBUY4 G4MERS!"

A hollow silence greeted him.

Undeterred, he had a question for the house, "So what do you guys think?"

The smile on Kariya's face was hard to decipher. Was it wry or encouraging?

"I have a feeling it might grow on me. Oh well, why not."

I scratched the back of my neck uneasily. I hoped I didn't just unwittingly set off a chain of events that would prove to be a complete hassle in the near future.

"If it's okay with you, then it's fine," I said. What was I supposed to say to something like this? "At least it's not offensive or anything."

Mina crossed her arms, expressing apathy that was atypical of her normally lively personality. "I could care less, seriously… but if you all are up for it, then fine, we'll go with it."

"The gods have spoken!" proclaimed Shooter, raising a fist into the air. "The four of us shall henceforth be called the SHIBUY4 G4MERS! Great adventures lie in wait for us! Rare loot and equipment is ours for the taking! We'll rush the leaderboards and claim unwavering dominance! We'll be awesome beyond awesome, bro!"

Whatever makes this ball of energy happy, I guess.

Why was I so accommodating of Shooter anyway? Was it because I was accustomed to lively people like Eri? I suppose I had a soft spot for him because of how much he reminded me of my girlfriend – ready for excitement at a moment's notice. Sometimes it's hard to deny these kinds of people their fun when they're enjoying themselves. It just didn't feel right to be a wet blanket.

The LAN party came to an end and everyone declared that it was two hours well spent. Kariya said he'd call us when the time was right for another gaming party.

"Will it be CFST again?" I asked.

"Probably not," he said. "We've been playing it for the past few sessions and I really want to try something different for next time. Who knows, maybe we'll play Heroes of Ziodim. Guys, what do you think?"

Mina jabbed her arm up into the air like a flagpole. "I'd love that! Count me in!"

"That's rad, bro!" agreed Shooter. "You can never have enough Legendary items. Gotta grab 'em all!"

Kariya nodded. "Okay, it's settled. Next time it'll be an HoZ party. I'll slide you the details once I find time. Phones, try and make it, yeah? It'll be a shame to miss out on some co-op action."

"Sure, I'd love to pop by," I said. "I'll see if I can find a free slot on my schedule. It's been packed pretty tight what with college and everything."

"Dude, when I said co-op action, I meant the kind played with a bunch of friends, not what you and your girlfriend enjoy during your… 'us time'."

Quickly picking up on the innuendos that he didn't bother to hide, the rest of us were reduced to a gaggle of blushing idiots. I had it worst of all. My face was like a furnace. Place a pot of water against my cheek and I bet you could boil an egg with it. It's that bad.

I tried to defend myself… "Calm down, everyone. Eri and I haven't even done it yet."

…but it was in vain.

Mina stammered, "Y-Yet?"

Ugh… I knew something went horribly wrong there…

XOXOXOXOXO

Back at home, I was soaking the tiredness away in the bath. Playing for so long at a time left me exhausted, but I felt accomplished at the same time. I checked the stats screen at the end of the play session and found that I'd chalked up at least fifteen kills. Not bad for a first-timer, I'd say.

Of course, when you take into account the fact that I was killed twice as many times, the novelty of my awesomeness starts to grow cold.

But no matter! What's important was that I had fun and plenty of it. And I made a couple of new friends too as a bonus. They're batty as all hell, sure, but they're nice people.

An HoZ party, huh? I have to admit, I was excited at the possibilities that could arise from fighting alongside other players. The HoZ forums were rife with discussions about the benefits of fighting in a team. The more people there are in your little band of adventurers, the higher the chances that rare loot will drop from downed enemies. Now that's something I could get behind!

I should get stronger so I wouldn't drag them down when the time comes. But being at least twenty levels lower than the rest of them, it'll be a long, long road ahead of me…

Suddenly my phone sang a brief tune. I dried my hands with a towel and reached over, careful not to drop it into the water. Eri had started another chat with me.

'Sup, sexy?

So how was that gaming party whatchamacallit this afternoon?

Have fun?

I punched in a reply.

It's a LAN party, and yeah, it was great. We went all out.

No one pulled any punches.

Most hectic thing I've done in a while. Immense fun, though.

Eri's reply was thus:

Sounds like a blast.

You're making me want to try out gaming myself.

Almost.

But nah, that's just not my scene.

By the way… were there any girls with you?

Just asking.

I felt a cold sweat break out across my entire body. Even though Eri was fine with me conversing with other girls, she still had that possessive streak in her. That scary possessive streak. I guess all girls do. Write this down, guys: when a girl says she's 'just asking', she isn't. She wants to know if you've been faithful to her and not deserving of a hard whack upside the head… or worse.

Now, there's no way I'd flirt with anyone else. I was firmly fixated on Eri and nothing would change that, so I knew I was safe. But I still had to tell the truth.

Yeah, there was this girl, her name is Mina. Apparently she's a classmate of yours.

When Eri wrote back, the relief in her words mirrored my own.

Oh, I know her!

Mina's one of my closest buddies XD

Real tomboy, that one. She's just like a guy.

That's why me and my gal pals feel safe around her.

She's definitely fine in my book! ;D

Poor Mina… Not even your girlfriends see you as a girl…

But this was good news for me. Eri must trust her deeply for her to just wave the matter off so quickly. Crisis averted, at any rate. One wrong move earlier and I might have been destined for a bad ending.

Heh, I made this sound like a visual novel.

But it's true that love is a lot like a video game.

There are challenges to overcome. Whether it's a rival or an internal conflict, they're there for you to subdue. And there's character progression aplenty. Make the right decisions and you can push the story forward. Once your girlfriend's close enough, you can upgrade the relationship and enjoy the new perks it has to offer. And it does get more difficult to maintain as time passes.

However, it does deviate from actual video games in many ways too. If you screw up there's no reset button or save file to fall back on. You'll just have to clean up after your own mess. You can search for tips and tricks but there's no hand-holding, no walkthrough you can consult. That's the harshness of real life: it auto-saves. But the rewards are worth more than the risks.

Corny much? Ha ha ha… I'm sorry. Yeah, that was really groan-inducing.

But one thing's for certain about love.

It's the best game ever.