A/N: Thank you for the reviews and encouragement - I apologize for the formatting error on Chapter 2 - it seems to be resolved now.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter Three
"Do we really have to go?" David Lee groaned as he waited for Diane and Will, shouting from between their two offices.
"Yes." The response came in unison from the two name partners.
David rolled his eyes as Will emerged from his office first. Black suit, black tie, dark sunglasses, "It is the funeral of the governor."
"It is the funeral of a man who got caught with his pants down, literally with a hooker, then we hired his wife while he was in jail only to be screwed by her, some of us more literally than others and dumped when she took our clients." David stated simply as he popped a candy into his mouth. "Or are we forgetting the events of the not so distant past?"
"Well maybe don't lead with that." Will put a hand on David's shoulder, "You liked Alicia."
"I wanted Alicia to divorce him." David countered, "If she had divorced him, we wouldn't be in our current predicament, now would we?"
"We have no way of knowing what kind of predicament we would be in if Peter Florrick hadn't screwed a hooker." Diane stated as she walked out of her office wearing all black and large sunglasses. "Shall we go? Or do you want to talk about it some more, David?"
"Well it doesn't seem like I have much choice now does it?"
"That sounds about right." Will nodded as the three set out to meet the car waiting to drive them to the funeral. "I spoke with Eli Gold," Will stated as they got into the waiting SUV, "we are on the list for the reception afterwards, it's a much smaller affair, more…intimate. Family, friends, close colleagues."
"How the hell did we end up on that list?" David sneered, tossing a knowing glance towards Will, "I thought that little…entanglement was over?"
"I don't really care how we ended up on that list." Diane interjected, ignoring his innuendo, "There will be people there that we would benefit from…rubbing elbows with. Please, David, I would beg of you to behave appropriately. His children will be there, his Mother, his widow. Do not talk about prostitutes, sex, drugs, divorce…the other things you have alluded to."
"You used to be more fun." David crossed his arms across his chest and stared out the window.
Will remained silent, he had slid into the front seat, purposely leaving Diane and David in the back seat to bicker back and forth. "Just act like adults, that is all we need to do. Smile, pay our respects, and mingle." He finally added to the conversation before he continued to watch as downtown Chicago passed them by. He wasn't sure why the event was being held in Springfield, probably some sort of mandatory requirement when a sitting Governor dies. Peter had been national news in the days since it had happened, it seemed that once someone died, no one really cared about all of their flaws, all of the things that had happened in the past just seemed to evaporate once they were dead. Will didn't begrudge him that, he didn't hate Peter, in fact he had always considered Peter to be a worthy adversary, a friendly foe until Peter went to jail and things got…complicated. When Will and Alicia had known each other at Georgetown, Will had gotten to know Peter too. Sure, they weren't best friends, but Will respected Peter, he was ambitious, he seemed good to Alicia, but then they graduated and drifted apart. Before he knew it, Will had received a letter from Alicia that she was pregnant and that she and Peter were getting married. It had been a punch to the gut and the communication had slowed after that, birth announcements, Christmas cards. Alicia had always made sure to write him a personal note on the otherwise mass produced stationary, and after five or six years it seemed to stop altogether. Will exhaled deeply, trying to block out the noise from the backseat as he thought back to the night before.
"I'm here to see Alicia Florrick." Will stated simply, he had been blocked by two members of a security team as he got off on Alicia's floor at her apartment building.
"Are you on the list?"
"The list?" Will repeated, he had to remind himself not to roll his eyes, this was the home of the First Lady of Illinois. Was she still the First Lady? Her husband was dead. "I don't know if I'm on the list…I'm….I'm an old friend, a colleague. Will Gardner."
"Let him in." Eli's voice came from outside the apartment door, "Put him on the list and let him in."
Will shrugged his shoulders and walked past the men, "Thank you." He nodded to Eli, "Are you…coming or going?"
"I'm going." Eli explained, "it's just her in there. The kids are out with Owen…she needs to…" he paused, contemplating his words as he stood with his back to the door, pulling the handle to ensure that it was firmly closed behind him.
"Decompress." Will finished for him.
"Yes, decompress. Something like that." Eli nodded, he paused to run a hand through his hair, "It has been one hell of a week."
"You know Eli," Will began, unsure of whether or not he should continue, he wasn't exactly sure where he stood with Mr. Gold, political advisor extraordinaire, "I have spent more time than I care to admit over the last few years wishing Peter would be gone, out of my life, out of my way, out of her life. Now…here I am, and I would give anything to take this pain away from them."
"I know." Eli paused, "Don't go in there Will…I…let's get a drink." He suggested.
"What? Eli…I…I need to see her. She needs to know that I am here, that the shit, the bullshit, the stuff at the firm…"
"She knows." Eli assured him, "Who do you think put you on the list for tomorrow? Do you think every law firm in town is coming to the reception? She made sure you were there. I just…Will, I need to talk to you. Alicia…if you still want to see her after I've spoken to you, you can come back. Security will let you in 24/7 and I can assure you, she will be up waiting for the kids to come home."
"Is this a legal issue?" Will asked, he had no idea what would make Eli want to have a drink with him, but he had to admit, he was compelled to go. Eli shook his head to tell him no, and motioned for Will to follow behind him. The two rode down the elevator in silence, Will silently followed Eli as he led him a few blocks from the apartment to a bar. It was a bar that Will knew very well, a bar that he and Alicia would frequent during their affair, close enough to meet up quickly, but far enough that she wouldn't be seen by prying eyes. "Not a legal issue I am guessing." He shrugged his jacket off his shoulders as they sat at a table in the corner. Will nodded to the bartender who seemed to recognize him, he lifted his hand to signal a request for 2 of his regular poison, scotch. "Alicia and I have been over for a while Eli, you should know that. You know that, right? I just…I came as a friend…or a former friend."
"I know. I know it has been over. But I also…I have to tell you something, Will. I really hoped I would never have to, I hoped that this would go away. This feeling in my chest, this…conscience I seem to be growing. I had hoped that Peter and Alicia would have a happy life, make me a lot of money as we made our way to the top." Eli gave him a closed mouth smile and took the drink from the waiter approaching, "But…that fairytale seems to be over."
"From what I have heard, that fairytale has been over for a long time Eli." Will cocked an eyebrow as he took a sip of his drink. "Peter and Alicia…they were an arrangement…there was love, sure…but they weren't really married Eli. I'm not saying that because I am interested, that ship has sailed. But everyone knew, everyone knows that Peter and Alicia were…god, don't make me say it."
"What…what if I told you it hadn't sailed? What if…god, I can't believe I'm about to say this. What if when all of this has settled, when it's all calmed down, I told you there was a chance." Eli asked him, "Not for you go to after a grieving widow, but…she doesn't know."
"Enlighten me Eli. She doesn't know…what?"
"She doesn't know about the second voicemail." Eli admitted, taking the rest of his scotch in one sip. "I deleted it. The night Peter announced his candidacy, you left her a message, you told her you had loved her since Georgetown."
"I told her we would make a plan." Will had replayed that night in his head a thousand times. During their affair, before, after, he had thought about it when he was throwing the contents of her desk onto the floor. "I told her that I had always loved her. You're telling me," the colour was draining from his face, "you're telling me that you deleted that message. That these past years, the back and forth, the tug of war…she didn't know that I had feelings for her? She thought this was sex, nostalgia. She didn't know?"
"Will, I know that you are angry."
"Angry?" Will spat, "Now you're telling me? Why? You think I'm going to go after her now? Before his body is even cold, you think I want to be that guy?" His blood was boiling, "You don't get to do this, you don't get to try to fix her by telling me this. She is broken and it is the kind of broken I cannot fix, her family is broken!"
"Will, please just."
He shook his head and stood up, tossing some cash on the table, "You don't get to absolve yourself of this Eli. You fucked up, you fucked up, and you need to live with that. He wouldn't be dead. They wouldn't have been together, you would have needed to come up with a different path to get to the top of politics…you…you set this in motion all those years ago, and now you have to live with it."
"Will are you coming?" Diane brought him out of his trance.
"Oh…yeah," he shuffled to undo his seatbelt and step out of the SUV. "sorry."
"Alright, best behaviour everyone." Diane eyed the two men she was with as they walked towards the doors, a steady stream of black-clad mourners entering before them.
It was about an hour before the service started, it was tasteful, Peter was eulogized by friends and foes, loved ones. Zach spoke of the father he loved and looked up to, he spoke of a man who made it to little league games and school fundraisers, a man who although not perfect, loved his family, his children, his wife. Eli Gold spoke next, anecdotes of their time working on campaigns together, and how Eli eventually thought of Peter as family, as a brother who sometimes pissed him off, but he knew he always had a seat at their table when it was over. There were hymns and prayers, Pastor Isaiah spoke and his choir sang, it was exactly what one would expect for the funeral of a man who had metaphorically risen from the ashes over the course of the past five years to regain power in the state that he loved so much.
"Jesus," David leaned and whispered to Will as they followed the mourners out of the church, "you would think the Pope just died."
"Maybe don't mention the Pope dying…in a church." Will made a face at his colleague, "He was more than just a politician David."
"I know, I know." David tossed his hands in the air dramatically, "What can I say….he lost my vote at hookers."
"Yes because you've never defended a cheater?" Diane rolled her eyes as she spoke in a hushed tone.
"I said vote." David winked, "I'll take money from anyone who wants to pay me."
Xxx
"Alicia," Will put his hand on her arm as she walked towards him, "I'm so sorry."
"Thank you." Alicia embraced him as she had done for over twenty years, "Thank you for coming, I know everything is…"
"It doesn't matter." Will assured her, and it was the truth. He had been angry, and as early as that morning, he thought may be he was still angry, but as he watched her through the service, and studied her with others throughout the afternoon, he knew he wasn't angry. He was sad, hurt, sure, but she was his friend, and she had been a friend before she had been anything else. His friend was hurting. "What can I do?"
"Can you make everyone leave?" Alicia cracked half a smile, she was exhausted, she was sick of being strong for everyone else, she was sick of discussing what a great man Peter was. She didn't want him to be vilified, she just couldn't take much more of it, for the past few years, she and Peter had made their arrangement work. They were discrete when necessary, they had helped each other scratch and itch when necessary, they had been committed to their children, and they had become friends again, but Peter Florrick dying did not leave Alicia a shattered widow, she had not lost the love of her life.
"I don't think I can do that," Will laughed, "do you want to…take a minute? Go talk?" He suggested, they were in the Governor's Mansion, there had to be somewhere they could talk.
Alicia nodded, "I would like that. Just let me…let me check on the kids and tell Eli. I'll meet you out back, in the gardens. I just…I need some air."
"Of course."
xxx
"So," Will exhaled as they walked in comfortable silence, "how are you doing?"
"I don't know." Alicia admitted.
"I came to the apartment last night." Will told her, he wanted her to know that he had cared, that he hadn't just shown up today to put on a show for the firm.
"Oh? Did you have trouble? Security can be a little…intense right now." She nodded back to the guard walking about five paces behind them.
"No, I ran into Eli." Will explained, "We got to talking and then realized how late it was, thought maybe you were sleeping." It was the truth, maybe a partial truth or a version of the truth, but it was enough of the truth that he didn't think he was lying to her. Besides, the full truth was on Eli to tell her - it was a narrative that he didn't want to be a part of.
"Well, thank you for the flowers." Alicia smiled, enjoying the breeze on her cheeks, she was getting too warm in there, all of the stares, the concern, the tears, it was too much.
"That was Diane."
"No Will, not the ones the firm sent, the ones that you sent." She gave him a knowing smile, "Don't worry, I won't tell."
"It was selfish. Selfish of me to send them, I just…I didn't know how to navigate this. Things between us were…are…it's weird, but I want us to be friends."
"I know." She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, "We'll be fine, this will calm down…we can be friends."
"How are the kids?" Will changed the subject, he didn't want to get bogged down in the minutia of them, this wasn't about him, it was about her.
"They're…coping…I think?" Alicia shrugged, "I don't really know. It's been a whirlwind, and I have a feeling that in a few days we are all going to crash and the reality is going to hit. He isn't going to walk through the door with flowers or wine, no baseball tickets for the kids…he is gone."
"I'm sorry Alicia." Will draped an arm around her shoulder casually and pulled her close, "I wish I could fix this."
"It's life Will, we can't just fix it." Alicia continued to walk, "We fix it for our clients…but apparently we can't fix things for ourselves."
"We should get back." Will put his hand on the small of her back to guide her back to the mansion, "I know you don't want to," he added, "but they will notice you gone."
"You think?"
"I mean…" Will smiled at her.