A/N - I hope this update is a good kickstart to the weekend! I love reading your reviews and hearing what everyone's take is on the characters and the plot lines. It's nice to have some interaction during this tough time. Keep them coming!
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The summer weeks rolled on and before they knew it, it was already August. Alison was happy with the way that things were progressing. She finally was starting to feel settled in and felt comfortable with her new surroundings in Rosemont. Grace and Lily had also grown accustomed to their new routine of weekends at Alison's. They terrorized her apartment just like they did their own home and had found several places in Rosemont that quickly became their favorites. It was rare if a whole Saturday and Sunday went by without the girls chanting "Moos Cream" in the backseat, begging Alison to take them to Mr. Moo's Ice Cream Shoppe in the town square.
As for Emily, she had spent the last few weeks slowly dipping her toes back into the dating pool. She'd chatted with a lot of new people, went on a few dates, and had even had a couple of sleepovers. It breathed new air into her life. The past few years had been very routine and while each day was different as the girls got older, her days always seemed to follow a very similar pattern. Alison coming back had broken up that pattern, freeing up some of her time, and now Emily was filling it meeting new people. In the beginning, she had been torn with mixed feelings over the whole idea of dating. She not so coincidentally scheduled her weekly session with Doctor Brown the day before she went out on her first date. Doctor B was a true confidant to her and an unbiased opinion so she wanted the other woman's take on her starting to date again.
"What makes you apprehensive?" Doctor Brown had asked as they sat across from each other in her office.
Emily thought about it. There were a ton of worries that she had about going on her first date as well as starting to date again in general. For starters, she hoped that the girl wasn't a total psycho. She also worried about how she was going to come across to someone else that didn't know her. She was worried that she hadn't made enough personal progress in the last year to have a healthy relationship. And if she was being honest with herself, dating other people made her feel like she was closing the door on Alison- not that the other girl was knocking per se.
"What if I'm not ready?" She settled on.
Doctor Brown remained quiet, lightly pressing her lips together. In general, she tried not to give Emily answers when she asked questions like this.
Realizing that she wasn't going to get an answer, Emily elaborated, "I mean I feel prepared and I keep telling myself that I'm ready, but I'm scared that I'm not actually mentally ready for this".
"I can understand that sentiment," Doctor Brown nodded, "But what exactly is it that you feel like you might not be ready for?" She pressed.
"Dating in general.. it just feels serious. It feels final".
"It doesn't have to be final. You dated someone a year ago before we started our sessions. Did that feel final?"
"No," Emily answered easily. But the truth was that she could hardly remember how she was feeling at that time. Her emotions were still raw from the divorce getting finalized and she was busy chasing after two toddlers. It also felt different because it was before she began seeing Doctor Brown, and started to view herself differently.
"What's different about now?" Her Doctor asked.
"I've made so much progress with you in understanding myself... understanding other people... how I relate to other people and interact with them," she twists her lips a bit before revealing, "I'm scared that I won't be able to put what I've learned into practice. I'm scared that I'll fail".
"We've talked about progress and how it isn't always linear, Emily. There's no failure here, just opportunities for growth".
"I just feel like I've got to get this right.."
"Emily, you're going out tomorrow for drinks, not entering a serious courtship. Are you placing pressure on this date because you're looking to be in a serious committed relationship again?"
"God, no!" Emily spluttered. She wanted someone to spend time with. Someone to exchange affection with. But the idea of a serious relationship was terrifying for some reason.
"Then my advice to you: Just have fun and take things one step at a time. It seems as though you're getting ahead of yourself and it's causing you to try to push this relationship downhill before you even reach the climb," Doctor Brown explained pointedly. "Plus," she added, "Isn't best part of the climb the climax? How can you get there without taking the first step?"
Emily blinked a few times- was she saying what it sounded like she was saying?
"Are you… telling me to get out there and have casual sex?" She asked with a hint of shock.
The doctor let out a chuckle at that, "No, no.. not unless that's what you're seeking that is. I'm just telling you that if you want things to be casual, they can be. You should take things a step at a time and develop them however you choose."
And right now, Emily was happy with the way that things were developing. She kept things light with whomever she went out with. She followed Doctor Brown's advice, keeping things casual and letting them develop as they were meant to. Sometimes she just went on a single date. Sometimes she went on multiple dates with the same person. Sometimes communication ended mutually. Sometimes there was sex. Ultimately, though, she was achieving her goal of filling her time and trying to move forward. If anything serious developed, it would in its own time. For now, she was just enjoying herself.
Emily had invited Alison to the last swim meet for the Rosewood community pool. She had been coaching age-group swimming to kids of all ages there for the last few years. She'd also been working with Lily and Grace on their swimming throughout the summer. She had taught them how to swim at a young age as a safety protocol more than anything. She knew that they would be around pools a lot and wanted to make sure that they could keep themselves above water. This summer though, she'd worked on freestyle with them and both girls were able to swim a full lap. Emily was so proud of their progress and couldn't wait for others to see. They were joining a small exhibition heat at the meet that was mostly meant for five and six year olds.
Alison had been looking forward to the Tuesday evening meet. She was excited to see the girls' progress in person. Walking into the pool, though, she felt a wave of emotion. It had been a long time since she had come to one of Emily's swim meets. It was nostalgic in a good way, but she felt sadness in acknowledging the reason that she didn't attend them anymore. She set up her folding chair next to the bleachers and waited until it was time to get the girls ready for their big swim.
When their heat approached, she helped Emily get the girls ready by holding their swim caps and goggles and helping them get them on correctly. They looked adorable waddling up to the edge of the pool in all of their gear. Once they were in the water, Alison was amazed. They weren't the fastest and their strokes looked a bit shakey, but they were in there and they were doing it. It was amazing to her how grown up they seemed.
She and Emily quickly made their way to the other side of the pool to collect the girls after their single lap. Alison opened up a towel, and helped lift Grace out of the pool while Emily grabbed Lily.
"Did I win?!" Grace anxiously asked as Alison wrapped the little girl up in her towel.
"You did great, baby," she laughed.
"Did I beat Lily?!"
"You did great! I'm so proud of you," She kneeled in front of her and gave her a big hug. She didn't want the girls getting competitive over this because it was amazing that they both had completed the lap.
"Grace, you did it!" Emily walked over with a towel-wrapped Lily in her arms.
Alison stood up and kissed Lily's forehead, reiterating to her other daughter how proud she was.
"Tell your sister good job," Emily set Lily back down and the little girl hugged her sister.
Alison and Emily shared a sweet smile over top of their girls. It warmed Alison that the four of them could have moments like this. Moments where they were still a family- even if all four of them no longer lived under the same roof.
Later, Alison was perched back into her chair when another person sat down on the edge of the bleachers to join her. She turned her head at the intrusion and saw that it was Pam Fields sitting next to her. Her heart rate picked up dramatically, but she tried not to physically react.
"I didn't know you that you were coming tonight," the other woman said simply.
It was just a statement, but it sent Alison's anxiety into overdrive. It made sense that Pam was here. Alison realized that it should have been a given and wondered why she hadn't thought of it sooner. Pam loved her granddaughters. She doted on the twins. But it didn't stop Alison from feeling physically panicked at the site of her daughters' grandmother.
"I couldn't wait to see them have their big moment," she replied, trying to play it cool and offered a tight smile. Pam smiled back and nodded, but remained quiet. Alison felt the need to fill the silence, "It looks like Emily might have two future Olympians to train". Pam didn't respond right away, but before she did, the silence was filled with a tiny voice.
"Mommy, can I sit with you?" Lily walked up to Alison, dragging her swim towel behind her. Alison scooped her up, and placed the little girl on her lap, re-wrapping the towel on top to her to keep her warm. Lily snuggled into Alison's shoulder with a content sigh, closing her eyes.
It was in little moments like this that Alison felt one hundred percent confirmed that coming back was the right decision. That she was making her family's life better by coming back and not more complicated. She remembered coming back in high school. Things had been so crazy then and she'd spent so many nights lying in her bed thinking that she'd made things more complicated by coming back- that it had all been a mistake. She'd considered leaving more nights than she didn't, thinking that everyone's lives might just be better without her. She'd wondered the same thing briefly when it came time to return from Beacon Heights. Was she making everyone's lives more complicated by coming back? Should she just stay away? Her daughter's light and calm breathing against her skin was just a small reminder that she was wanted and needed by those around her.
"Welcome to the life of a Swim Mom," Pam's voice interrupted her train of thought. Alison noticed a smile playing on the older woman's face and for the first time that she can remember, it didn't look like a forced smile; It looked real.
"I bet this brings back a lot of memories of when Emily was a kid".
"It does. So many meets. So many chairs like this," she touched Alison's folding chair that the blonde had actually recently purchased specifically for the event, "so many towels.." the older woman laughed and trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.
"Sounds like I'll be getting used to it. I think that the girls are really enjoying it," Alison commented and pointed over towards Emily and Grace, "Especially that one over there. She's basically Emily's shadow".
The two women shared a laugh. Grace had been trailing her mother all meet. She stood behind her on the side of the pool, holding a clipboard and Emily's whistle. As Emily paced up and down the length of the pool, Grace remained two steps behind her.
"And I think this one might be your shadow," Pam noted at the little girl snoozing on Alison's lap.
As the twins had gotten older, they had started to develop their own personalities. Grace was independent and always trying something new. She ran around the house and the yard with speed, constantly exploding with energy and full of excitement. She had been born first and had come into the world screaming. Lily had always been more quiet and subdued. While Grace had loudly made her entrance into the world, Lily had come along seven minutes later almost without a sound. It had worried Alison at first, and she'd initially panicked that maybe something was wrong with her second baby. But once the girls were brought over, it was actually Lily who opened her eyes first for her mothers, showing them a new side of their babies aside from the screaming. Even now, when Grace would run around at a new place loudly announcing all of her findings, Lily would pull one of her mothers aside and quietly show them something small and detailed that Grace had missed in her speed. The little girls complimented each other well, and it was fun to watch them grow. As far as which twin favored which mom, Alison had no idea. She couldn't deny though that Lily had always been very clingy to her, but she appreciated it.
"Mommy?" Lily lifted her head up off of Alison's shoulder, "Can we get a snack?"
"Like what? Maybe we can see if they have some oranges?"
"A brownie," the little girl said with a sweet smile. Alison knew better, though. Lily knew how to work her sweetness to get what she wanted.
"Maybe a soft pretzel," Alison bargained, "why don't you go see if your Mom and sister want anything too?" She asked. Lily immediately sprung up and ran over to Grace and Emily faster than Alison could tell her not to run on the pool deck. She shook her head.. she really was going to have to keep an eye on that one- Four years old and already she knew how to play sweet to get what she wanted.
Lily came trotting back over with Grace while Emily made a twisted motion in the air and mouthed 'pretzel' to Alison before she walked the girls over to the snack bar. It wasn't all lost on Pam. The older woman had watched the interactions between the four of them and felt her heart warm. Seeing them function together like the family that they once been made her feel less stiff at the thought of Alison around. It was still difficult for her to grasp the events that had taken place since the wedding, but she ultimately felt her resolve softening.
Later that night, it was Alison who offered to take the girls home. The meet was dragging on and the girls were getting clearly too tired to hang around. She didn't see the need in burdening Pam, so she loaded the girls into her car and drove back to the house in Rosewood while Emily finished coaching. They were asleep just minutes after she'd gotten them changed and into bed. As she sat on the couch waiting on Emily it hit her that this was how her life was supposed to have gone- swim meets with her daughters, chatting up her mother-in-law, waiting on Coach Fields to get home after a long meet. Instead, she was watching the time pass, hoping that Emily wouldn't get home so late that she would be too tired to drive home to her own apartment.
Still though, she was adamant to remind herself, even this was better than nothing at all. It was better than being alone in Beacon Heights or elsewhere. At least she still had this piece of the life she'd had and then lost. It was enough. It would have to be.
Emily got home about an hour later, and though she offered Alison the guest room, the blonde had opted to take the thirty minute drive home.
As the weeks trailed on, both girls continued to weave through each other's lives smoothly. It wasn't until about two months after Alison moved back that they hit their first major snag in co-parenting. It all started when Emily forgot to write on the calendar when she received a birthday party invitation for one of Lily and Grace's friends from preschool. By the time that she remembered, she had only given Alison about twenty four hours notice and even Emily would admit that it just wasn't enough time to prepare Alison for one of parenting's greatest challenges- the other moms. When she'd called the blonde on Friday afternoon before she dropped off the twins, Alison's apprehension was evident.
"I think that you should just keep them tonight and take them to the party tomorrow".
It would have worked under most normal circumstances, but Emily had the summer swimming championship meet that weekend and Pam was out of town. It was too late to make any new arrangements for the girls.
That was what led Alison to walking into a stranger's house occupied by about ten other four-year-olds who were not hers, and ten other moms who looked at her like she was an alien. Emily has assured her that it would be fine, that the mothers seemed intimidating at first, but that they had eventually opened up to her early on last school year. That didn't seem to be the case for Alison. As soon as she'd entered, the parent hosting the party greeted her, but other than that no one seemed to engage with her. She spent some time mingling around the food, and eventually settled out back at a table There were various people around and plenty of conversations flowing, but none of them were with her. She tried not to take it personally… all of the other guests seemed to know each other, likely because all of their children went to school together, so she was technically the newbie. Still though, it seemed odd that no one even attempted to converse with her.
As the party continued, the kids started to getting louder and more wild. It didn't surprise Alison when one of her daughters came running up to her with purple juice dripping from her dress.
"Mommy! I spilled on my dress and the grass!" Grace announced with a shout when she got close enough to her mother, as if the accident wasn't completely obvious. Alison wasn't mad. She knew this kind of thing happened with young children and she was glad that it didn't happen indoors on the host's carpet or anything. Still though, the purple stain looked pretty bad against Grace's pale yellow dress.
"Come on sweetie, let's see if we can try to clean you up a little bit". She figured she could take her to the bathroom and at least try to blot the stain a little.
It was when she was about to round the corner inside the house from the kitchen to the hallway that she overheard two of the other moms talking. "Who was that blonde outside by the picnic table? She brought the twins I think."
"That's Emily's ex". Another voice answered matter of factly.
"Ohhh. Awkward". The original voice responded as if she'd just heard the most scandalous thing. Alison was glad that she was headed into a different room because she really wasn't sure what face she was making at the moment. Sure, maybe it was awkward, but did they really have to talk about her? Was that why no one was talking to her… because she was 'Emily's Ex'? What had Emily told these women about her? She started to feel anxious as her insecurities and paranoia started to bubble up.
Luckily, she had a task at hand and she did her best to try to clean Grace up in the bathroom. When she told the little girl that she was finished, the four-year-old took off running through the house back outside to her friends, dress soaking wet and all still somewhat stained. Alison rubbed her face. She felt exhausted all of the sudden and didn't want to go back out there. She checked her phone and saw a missed call from Emily with a text following up asking how the party was going. She felt annoyed for some reason. She knew that the way she was feeling wasn't Emily's fault, but she didn't really want to talk to her either.
She sent a series of quick texts back.
'Not good. Grace spilled juice all over herself. She's a mess." followed by "And I think the other moms hate me.' She started to type a third message asking if Emily had said anything to them about her, but thought better of it. Jumping to conclusions was something that both of them had struggled with during their marriage and she really didn't want to fight right now.
She didn't hear back from Emily, and the party continued on. Alison watched the time go by, wishing that the festivities would go faster. At one point when the birthday boy was opening gifts, Lily came walking over to her. Alison wanted nothing more than anything to turn her four-year-old into her partner in crime and say, 'Let's break the hell out of here, kid!' but she resisted. She settled for a smile and asked Lily if she was having fun.
The little girl grinned and nodded enthusiastically. It made Alison feel kind of bad. She needed to suck it up and get through this for her daughters. Before she could say anything else her daughter informed her, "Mama is here."
"She's what?" Alison scrunched her face in question. She'd never heard back from Emily and assumed that she was still wrapped up in the swim meet. Lily just pointed over towards the back door before walking away to join her friends as the kids ran by. Alison saw Emily standing on the patio and talking to a couple of the moms with a polite smile on her face. Of course they talked to Emily right away but couldn't even make small talk with her in the two hours she'd been there.
She watched as Emily nodded along with the conversation before excusing herself and walking over in Alison's direction. The blonde noticed that she was holding a set of clothes, and smiled realizing that Emily had gotten her texts after all. "Hey, how are you holding up?" The brunette gave a sympathetic smile as she approached.
Alison stared her down for a second, not wanting to give an honest answer- that she was miserable. Emily understood though and chuckled, "Hang in there. I thought a change of clothes for our messy child might help". She held out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt meant to replace Grace's outfit.
"Did you go all the way home? What about the meet?" Alison questioned. Did Emily really go through all of this trouble?
"There's an hour intermission between age groups and I realized that I had some extra clothes in the car". Emily smiled with a shrug. Emily had known that it wasn't an emergency and that Grace would be fine without the clean clothes. Honestly, she was probably going to get the new set just as messy. She wanted to check on Alison, though. She knew from experience that this was a hard social group to penetrate and really didn't want the blonde to get down on herself as it seemed she was from the tone in her texts.
"Well you're…" Alison let a wry smile slip, "a real lifesaver." She felt a little guilty and was glad that she hadn't accused Emily of talking bad about her to the other moms. Just seeing Emily go above and beyond for her flipped her entire mood.
"Don't worry, it's almost over. I usually duck out after the candles and promise the girls we'll stop for ice cream".
Alison thought for a minute. "Do you want to come... grab ice cream with us?" She asked. It was the least she could do for the good tip, right?
"I've got to get back to the pool," she checked her phone, "now actually. Another time maybe," she smiled.
They said their goodbyes and Alison went in search of Grace to see if the little girl would cooperate and let her change her clothes.
Before the party was over, a woman about her age with a short light brown hair came up and sat in the seat next to her. "Hi, I'm Kelly- Max's mom," she smiled, "Are you Grace and Lily's Mom?"
Alison recognized her from earlier. She had been one of the women who had greeted Emily when she walked in. She wasn't sure if Emily had put in a good word for her or not, but she was grateful for the interaction. Plus, it was much better to be known as 'Grace and Lily's Mom' rather than 'Emily's Ex'. Having just one person to talk to made the rest of her experience at the party infinitely better than the earlier part.
After her swim meet, Emily called Alison and the girls so that they could do story time together. When it was clear that the girls had drifted off, Alison thanked her for earlier. Emily laughed and pretended that she had no idea what Alison was talking about. In truth though, she had mentioned to a couple of the moms who Alison was while she was there in hopes that one of them would be kind to her. She was glad that it had gotten better for the blonde after she left. She knew what it was like to feel isolated, especially when she had entered the mom world feeling like a single parent.
After they got off of the phone, Emily showered. She had a date that she was running late for, but cutting story time short wasn't an option to her. One rule that she made for herself in regard to dating was that she wouldn't take any shortcuts when it came to her kids. Tonight she was seeing a girl that she had gone out with a few times already. It wasn't serious, but she was looking forward to it. Her daughters came first in her life, but it was nice to be able to get out on a Saturday night and do something for herself.
She ended up spending the night at her date's apartment. She never had anyone over at her house. Part of it was that she had toys thrown around the house and pictures of her family. Another part of it was that feeling that always tugged at her saying that it wasn't just her house, it was her family's house.. and that included Alison- whether the blonde lived there or not.
When she parked her car the next morning, she took note of her mother's car on the street and saw Pam walking down from the porch.
"Hey," she greeted her mother, "What are you doing here so early?"
Pam presses her lips together without answering. She was holding a few bags containing what looked to be some things for Lily and Grace. This was typical business for Pam. She was always buying things for the girls and after a few days visiting family out of town Emily didn't doubt that she had stocked up on gifts for her grand babies. Emily could tell by the look on her mother's face though that she was busted. It was before 9am and based on what she was wearing, it would have been clear to anyone that Emily had spent the night elsewhere.
"Where were you last night?" She asked her daughter.
Emily tried to play it off with a smile and tilt of her head, "Why? Did you want to hang out?"
"No, but I'm wondering why you're only getting home now". The the older woman pressed.
It flipped a little switch inside of Emily. Why did her mother care? It wasn't any of her business anyway. She knitted her eyebrows, "I'm twenty-eight years old, Mom. You don't need to know where I am at all times".
"No, but you're a mother... do you really think you should be staying out all night?" Pam asked. Her tone annoyed Emily even more. She felt like she was sixteen again and being judged.
"I wasn't out partying if that's that's what you're worried about". She held her mother's gaze and tried to keep her voice even.
Pam nodded in thought. Emily knew that she was right in some sense. Rosewood was a small town and Emily worked for the school, coached children, and had two of her own. It probably wouldn't be a good look. But then again.. who was going to see her out if she was? Another parent?
"So..." her mother spoke again, interrupting her thought, "you were... in Rosemont?"
And Emily had absolutely no idea what expression her face took on, but she was shocked at the comment. Her mother thought she had spent the night with Alison? And she actually sounded calm about it? "I- what?" She shook her head, "No?"
Pam tilted her head, mirroring Emily's confusion. "Then where-"
"Again," Emily laughed half humorously, "I'm twenty-eight and not detailing my sex life to my mother, thank you". She moved towards the door, past the stunned woman, "Did you want to come in?"
And that was that.
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A/N - Thanks for reading! Looking forward to hearing what you think. And as always, stay safe out there please!