A/N - Thank you all for continuing to read this story and offering feedback! I'm enjoying sharing it. I kind of consider last chapter as the "end of part one". There's thee major parts of this story and it looks like the girls made it through the first battle.
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The weeks following Emily and Alison's joint therapy session elicited the kind of stability that they needed following the weeks of fighting. After the session, they both drove back to their respective homes and internalized everything that had been brought out in the opened. It wasn't comfortable for either one of them, but they had both said things that needed to finally be said out in the opened. The session had eased the tension in their lives, and they both tried to move forward.
For Alison, the therapy session had been like nothing that she had ever experienced. She had never liked sharing parts of her past or her inner feelings with people, especially someone that she had just met, and felt uncomfortable nearly the entire time. uncomfortable the entire time. Evan just sharing those feelings with Emily, who she had known for nearly two decades was a struggle for her. But what was crazy to her was the way that she had felt after it was all over- after everything had been aired out- she had found comfort in getting uncomfortable. Prior to that day, her experience with therapy had been limited to the shrink her father had forced her to see in high school, her failed attempt at couple's therapy, and her traumatic experience at Beacon Heights. This was the first time that she felt success and it was encouraging.
She had called Doctor Brown a few days later to thank her and asked if the therapist would be willing to take her on as well. While Doctor Brown thought that might be a conflict of interest to treat both Emily and Alison separately, she had a close colleague that she thought would be perfect for Alison to meet with. When she met with the new therapist, they hit it off well. They met only infrequently, but through those sessions, Alison was able to have her own sounding board about the events in her own life. She felt like it was a necessary step in growing and understanding herself.
That was why she had left Rosewood in the first place- to try to find herself. At the time, she knew that she wasn't living up to what Emily wanted her to be. She wasn't even sure who she was anymore. Beacon Heights had given her more perspective. While she was there she rediscovered her resilience and was proud that she and Mona had ultimately taken down Alex. She didn't feel like the girl who had been strapped to a hospital bed and violated, with no way to protect herself, anymore. She had rebuilt her self-confidence, and while they were put through some terrible things, she felt empowered after all of it. She had shown herself that she could trust people like Mona and Taylor and she had received the same trust back from them as well as her students. She knew that she could find these same feelings of confidence and mutual trust in Rosewood, she just had to learn how to build that trust while not under the stress of someone threatening her.
Things were falling back into place for Emily as well. She had finally told Alison things that she had been holding onto for years. It helped her realized that some of her feelings of mistrust and resentment had been seeds that were planted years before in her experiences in life and with Alison. In talking through them that day, Emily realized that she had to let some things go from ten, even fifteen years ago, if she wanted to move forward.
And she did. She wanted to be able to have a positive relationship with Alison now and build productive relationships in the future. It would take work, but she felt like she could take what she learned and truly move forward.
Her outlook significantly improved following the session. She was aware of it and it was obvious to those around her as well.
"You seem more cheerful," Pam had commented to Emily one day when the brunette was at her house picking up the girls, "Did you and Alison get sorted out?"
Emily knew that her mother had been keeping a watchful eye on the status of her relationship with Alison. Pam had warmed up slightly to the other girl, but was still protective over Emily. She knew that her daughter had been heartbroken in the time following the divorce and didn't want to see her get hurt again.
"Yeah, she actually came to my session with Doctor Brown last week," Emily confessed.
"Really?" Pam asked, surprised that the news.
Emily nodded, "Yeah… and it went really well. We talked about a lot of our issues from years ago all the up until what happened last week. I think we've got a good foundation to move forward with".
Pam arched an eyebrow, "Move forward to where?"
"To a positive and productive partnership" she said almost robotically. It was a phrase that she and her therapist had been using for months now. And it was true- that was what she wanted… even if they did have a moment in the parking lot together. It wasn't awkward. They were moving on.
"Hm," Pam had nodded with a smile, "I'm proud of you two."
By October, the school year was in full swing and she started to feel adjusted. Lily and Grace were enjoying the routine of going to school for a full day now that they were in Pre-Kindergarten. Emily loved seeing them after school and hearing about all of the things that they had learned. They told her about shapes and colors, numbers and letters, and never failed to give a full report about snack time.
Emily still missed them dearly during the weekends, but Alison was doing her best to keep her involved. During the session, Emily had told her that she sometimes felt lost during the weekends without the girls arounds. Alison had taken it to heart and did her best to make sure that Emily didn't feel like she was missing too much. They sometimes called or FaceTimed outside of bedtime stories, and Alison sent pictures and updates throughout the day. It allowed Emily to enjoy her weekends more. She went on long runs, bonded with her mother, and socialized with her friends. Hanna had given birth in the middle of October to a sweet baby girl with sparkling blue eyes that she and Caleb had named Ava. She spent a lot of her time at their house helping them out the way that Hanna had done for her the last two years.
She also continued to date on the weekends. She was enjoying getting out there and meeting new people just like Hanna had suggested that she would. It was nice to feel wanted and she enjoyed the physical affection. She hadn't found anyone in particular that she wanted a relationship with yet, but she was enjoying the process.
Alison's social life, on the other hand, was restrained to Monday through Thursday-which meant that with work and classes it was somewhat nonexistent. She got out sometimes, though. Her department did monthly happy hours and she'd done a couple of dinners with other Ph.D students that she'd met. She didn't go to Rosewood much during the week, but she and Spencer met up from time to time since their apartments were only twenty minutes apart. She listened to Spencer commiserate about the perils of law school and shared her own stories about some of her more interesting students.
One Thursday night, Spencer had called her out of the blue and told Alison that she was picking her up and they were going to dinner together. She had been initially worried after they hung up. As she got dressed and freshened up, she couldn't help but shake the idea that there had been developments in the Mary Drake saga. It would only make sense, she thought, now that things were going well again someone was coming along to cause trouble.
She stayed quiet in the car ride to the restaurant, her ears perked up listening to Spencer talk and trying to determine if there were indicators of anything wrong in her voice. Somewhere between their first and second cocktail, she finally cracked.
"Why did you want to go out tonight?" She asked, "Did Mary Drake call you again?"
Spencer cocked her head looking confused but slightly amused, "What? No..." she took a sip of her vodka soda, "Why would you think that?"
"I don't know," Alison shrugged, feeling a little annoyed, "Why did you ask me to go to dinner out of the blue?"
"Because I'm in the middle of midterms, had been writing a paper for five hours, Toby is working late, and I was about to go crazy," she laughed.
Alison eyed her, trying to determine if that was all to it.
"Okay Ali, paranoid much?" Spencer called her out.
Alison shook her head, "It's not being paranoid if there's a legitimate threat, Spence."
"I told you before, I don't think that she is a legitimate threat". Spencer said firmly, placing her drink down on the table.
Alison took a few breaths, staring down at the table into her own drink. Spencer had told her months ago that she didn't think that Mary Drake was a threat, but the information that she was still out there had been lingering in Alison's mind. Alex had come back seeking revenge, it only made sense for Mary Drake to do the same, right? Her Aunt had a track record for being manipulative and had even teamed up with Archer to take down Alison at one point. Sure, Mary took the fall for Archer's murder and given the Lost Woods to Spencer and Alison, but was that actually enough to trust her? Alison couldn't bring herself to believe that it was.
"How do you know though?" she asked the brunette across from her, "Why are you so willing to trust her?"
Spencer shrugged, "What other choice do I have? Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life hating her or looking over my shoulder?"
She had a point, Alison thought. Mary had done some terrible things in the past, but they hadn't heard much from her in four years. There hadn't been any indication that she had conspired in Beacon Heights with Alex. Alison was new to the idea of blind trust. With Taylor, she told herself that she was going off of a good instinct, but in reality how could she have known that the instinct was right at the time. Spencer was just doing the same with Mary and there was a possibility that maybe she was right too.
"She sends me a birthday card every year, you know" Spencer revealed, causing Alison's eyebrows to shoot up in shock. Their server dropped off their food before she could react and it gave her a second to think about the information. Alison's own father didn't even call to wish her a happy birthday. She took her fork to her salmon, unsure of what to say to Spencer.
"I'm just saying, maybe everyone deserves a second chance," Spencer shrugged.
Alison knew all about second chances, so she couldn't disagree.
The rest of dinner went normally. She told stories about the twins and their weekend adventures. She had been trying to teach them piano the last couple of weeks and was getting the type of results that you would expect from trying to teach hyper four-year-olds how to play an instrument. After their plates had been taken away and they were finishing up, she noticed that Spencer seemed to be distracted and was looking past their high top table, over Alison's shoulder, across the bar.
"What are you doing?" She asked the other girl with knitted brows.
Spencer brought her attention back to the blonde. "There's a guy across the bar who keeps looking over here," she said with the hint of a smile.
Alison rolled her eyes, but relented and turned around to see for herself. She recognized the figure across the bar right away. It was the guy from the business lecture that she had stopped into last month- Sam? He was wearing a fitted navy blue suit and was standing with two other guys about his age. He looked back toward her table and flashed her the smile that she remembered from the previous month. Instead of smiling back, she snapped her head back in Spencer's direction
"Yeah" she rolled her eyes again, "I know him."
"You do?" Spencer was surprised to hear that, "How?"
"Work," she left it at that.
Spencer thought for a minute before smirking, and waving back in Sam's direction.
"What the hell are you doing?" Alison asked through her teeth, shooting the other girl a glare.
Spencer shrugged, "He's coming over."
"Ugh," Alison groaned, "He's not." She looked over her shoulder again, and confirmed that Sam was indeed walking over. She forced a smile into her face. Surely she'd see this guy again walking around her department. She didn't want a reputation for being rude.
"Professor," he greeted with a nod, "nice to see you off campus." The smile that he gave her was genuine and infectious. She tried to bite back her own, but knew her dimples were probably betraying her.
"I thought I told you that you could call me Alison?"
"That's right, of course." He turned to Spencer and extended his hand, "I'm Sam by the way".
"Spencer Cavanaugh," she smiled and shook his hand.
"Your Mom isn't our Senator by chance is she?" He asked.
Spencer confirmed that she was, but Alison felt suspicious. "And how would you know that?" Alison asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
He wasn't offended. He chuckled at her antics, "My buddy actually worked on her campaign a couple years back," he stuck his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the people he had been at the bar with, "he thought he recognized you Spencer".
"Well let him know that my mother is thankful for the help". The brunette smiled brightly. Alison wished that Spencer wouldn't play into his charm. She wasn't sure why, but she'd been on the defense with this guy from the get-go.
Sam directed his attention back to Alison, "I was hoping that maybe I could buy you girls a drink?"
Alison immediately shook her head, "I don't think that's-"
"That would be great!" Spencer spoke up, overpowering her.
He looked between both of them, taking note of their drink choice, "I'll be right back," he smiled, satisfied that he got the answer he wanted.
Once he was out of earshot Alison let Spencer have it, "What's wrong with you!?"
"What?" Spencer laughed, "He's hot."
Alison shot her a look, "Yeah and you're married".
"I meant for you," the brunette pointed out, "You're not."
She knew that she was single. She was actually acutely aware of it at times. But she wasn't really looking. She'd had one or two hookups during her time in Oregon and actually had a short lived attempt at a relationship with someone, but since she'd been back in Pennsylvania dating hadn't been a priority. She was here to raise her daughters and build her career. She didn't want any distractions.
Plus there was Emily and despite knowing that it was over between them her heart still reacted from time to time when she was with her. She knew that it might always be that way and had accepted it as a part of her life.
"I'm not looking for anyone right now," she stated simply.
"What are you planning to do? Go through life alone and celibate? It's not like Emily is".
Alison's ears perked up at the slip and her face contorted. "Wait what?" She asked in a hurry. Neither she or Emily had brought up their dating lives in the last few months, but it surprised her that it wouldn't have come up at all in their long therapy session.
Spencer shook her head, kicking herself for not choosing her words better. "Nothing, I'm just saying. You should give him a chance. He's nice."
"Nothing to do with how he looks, right?" Alison smarted back to her with another eye roll.
"Win/Win," Spencer raised her brows as Sam approached, back with drinks for them.
Spencer led the conversation between the three of them. Alison recognized that she was playing wing-woman. She knew that Spencer was just trying to be a good friend, and while there was a part of her that agreed with Spencer and was saying 'why not go for it', she still felt nervous. It had been a while since she had opened herself up to someone new and she wasn't sure if she was ready.
Spencer was right though, Sam was actually very nice. The confidence that he had displayed during some of their early encounters didn't translate into the cockiness like she had originally thought it to be. He asked the girls questions and seemed genuinely interested in them. His charm had started to penetrate Alison's guarded demeanor and she realized that she was actually enjoying herself.
After they finished their drinks, Spencer stood up. "I think I'm going to head home," she told them, "I've got to fight Philly traffic and I think Toby is back by now".
Alison couldn't help but feel slightly bummed that the night was ending. She stood up and looked over at Sam, "Spencer is actually my ride, so I'll have to head out too."
"No, don't leave on a count of me," the brunette protested, "Just Uber home or.. whatever," she smiled. Alison picked up on what the whatever that she was talking about was. She wasn't sure she was ready for that, but something inside of her still didn't want to cut the night short.
"Okay," She sat back down. They said their goodbyes to Spencer and Alison offered to buy the next round of drinks.
She found that she didn't regret her decision to stay. Sam was actually worth getting to know. He didn't grow up in the area, so surprisingly wasn't in the least bit familiar with the story of her high school drama. It was something that she always worried about deep down when she met people. Did they recognize her name? Had they read about her on the internet? Were they already judging her?
They bonded over the fact that they were both born in Georgia. He told her why he had always been interested in psychology and majored in it despite not wanting to work in the field. He was smart and was familiar with all of the books that she was teaching that semester. He was impressed that she'd graduated from BHU and told her that he'd actually considered going there before he was offered a scholarship at UPenn. As their conversations flowed, Alison realized that she was happy to make a new friend. She'd bonded pretty intensely with some of the people she'd met in Oregon and in the months since moving back had yet to make any new friends. It was nice to spend a night out with another adult that she didn't know well. She'd always liked learning about new people.
When it came time to leave, he offered to drive her home so that she wouldn't have to call an Uber, promising that he place was on his way home. She knew that this was what Spencer was pushing for. Alison knew that she should be opened, so she agreed.
He parked on the street outside of her complex and pulled the keys out of the ignition.
"You don't have to walk me in," she told him, "I'm fine here."
He didn't make any moves to restart the car, "Can I at least walk you to your door?" He asked.
She knew that he was probably just being a gentleman, but she still felt defensive. "How do I know that you're not a crazy person planning to stalk me?" She asked. It probably sounded to him like something out of a crime novel, but he didn't know that she'd basically lived in a crime novel for the majority of her life.
"If I was, I could do that without walking you to your door. I'm thinking more about any other crazy person you might run into between here and there". He gave a half smile. She didn't doubt that she would be fine and could handle herself either way, but his intentions were sweet so she agreed.
They made small talk as the passed through the lobby of her place and up to her apartment. As they walked, she felt her heartbeat pick up, but she couldn't tell if it was nerves or excitement.
They got to the door and she was thankful when Sam spoke first, "I'm really glad that I ran into you tonight," he told her. His blue eyes met hers, and she couldn't help the smile that found its way into her face.
"Yeah," she agreed, trying to ignore the sudden nerves that had started bubbling up.
They lingered outside of her door for a few moments as the inevitable built up. They made eye contact briefly and mutually leaned in, lips meeting in the middle. Alison only got lost in the kiss for a few seconds before she felt a hammering in her chest and leaned back, abruptly ending the kiss.
She pressed her eyes shut and shook her head, "I shouldn't..."
"Hey," He placed his palm on her forearm, "If it's the department you're worried about-"
"It's not that." She opened her eyes and looked back at him sadly. She just didn't feel ready. She hardly knew this guy and while they had talked about their interests and backgrounds, they hadn't gotten very personal. She hadn't told him that she was divorced or that she had kids. She hadn't intentionally left it out, but now she wondered if she should have told him sooner, before they were kissing outside of her front door.
"What is it then?" He asked her patiently.
She spoke before her brain started making coherent sentences, "I'm just not sure if I'm there yet- I really shouldn't- I mean I have two daughters, and I-"
"Woah, like inside?" He asked, pointing towards the door with wide eyes.
"Oh, no," she shook her head letting out a breathy laugh, "they um, they actually live with my ex. I have them on the weekends".
He nodded, taking in the information. She braced herself for his response. She wasn't ashamed of her past- she would never regret marrying Emily and she loved Grace and Lily more than she could put into words- but she wasn't sure what others would make of it.
"Oh," he nodded and she chewed on the inside of her lip, staring back at him, "how old are they?"
She smiled, "Four; They're twins".
He smiled back, "I bet they're adorable". She wondered if he thought that they looked like her or if he was just making conversation. "Listen, I had a great time tonight, but I don't want you to feel pressured if you're not ready for anything. I'm going to head home, but I'd like to see you again sometime," he peered back into her eyes, "If you're up for it?"
"I had a good time too," she nodded. She wasn't sure how to address his offer. She didn't know if she was ready for anything and she didn't want to have another awkward moment like she'd just created. Luckily he didn't push for an answer and wished her good night before heading back to his car.
She opened her door and walked into her apartment lost in thought. She rested her back against the door once it was closed and locked and rubbed at her forehead. Months ago when she talked about dating with Emily everything had seemed so far off and distant in the future that she couldn't even picture it. It had seemed different in Beacon Heights because at the time she'd felt like she was living in a whole other world. But being back home, she knew that anyone who entered her life in Rosemont could eventually enter the lives of those in Rosewood. It was something all new that she hadn't quite figured out how to navigate yet.
She thought back to the days when she was choosing where to go to graduate school. She and Emily had already decided to separate and the tension and sadness consumed them both. When she thought about their inevitable future, moving on and dating again, she had felt physically ill. She couldn't imagine running into Emily and some new girlfriend at the grocery store or a coffee shop. That was why she'd decided to go all the way to Oregon and why in the end she chose not to live in Rosewood anymore.
There was a part of her that knew it was time to move on and she wanted to, she did. She just had to figure out how to do that.
And it wasn't easy to do when such a big portion of her heart was still in Rosewood.
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A/N - To the "Go Away Sam" reviewer... I'm sorry. This story will require some patience, but I did my best to be realistic with their actions. I think it's important for Emily and Alison to at least explore the possibility of other adult relationships. You eventual either find out what you don't want in a relationship or learn something from the other person. Hope you stick with me to find out where this takes the girls! Thanks again for reading. Take care of yourselves!