Hi, I'm Sakura Bum back with a new fan fic and now I've just come back from rehab and sobered up, I can write properly again and don't need Google Translate to beta read for me. And by the way, Reality Check anon is a fucking coward. You should log into your account and say it to my face you coward. You're just jealous of my writing talent because it's so much better than yours, that's why you did is anon so we wouldn't know how shitty your fics are. I AM NOT A TROLL I AM A SERIOUS AUTHOR WITH REAL BOOKS ON AMAZON DOT COME THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
And the most amazing thing happened to me. I got on the cover of Kanto's edition of Playboy and nobody bought it. Everything said I was ugly and that my tits were small. What bastards! They're just jealous of my super hot boyfriend Serena with eight dicks and we are martrs for the LGBTQiaQWERTY#MEETOO#BLACKLIVESMATTER community.
And bitches been rating my book one star on Amazon dot com shall be sued. I books are rated five stars on Goodreads and I did it myself so I'm so proud of it. My ex had huge tits, bigger than Lysia and Lorelai combined from the anime. By the way Harry Styles is my grandma and my boyfriend had eight dicks.
After crying over the lack of praise, I went to my boyfriend with eight dicks, Serena. She really cheered me up. She gave me a suggestion to have a threesome with Toya Lette. Brock overheard it with last month's cover of playboy with Lorelai and Lysia on it. What the hell? That is so unfair. I deserve to be uber famous like my fairy godmother, Bruno Dove of peace.
WHY DO I HAVE SMALL TITS?
WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?
I AM BEAUTIFUL! I AM TALENTED! I AM THE NUMBER ONE WRITER OF THE WORLD. I HAD SEX WITH EVERY POWER RANGER AND GYM LEADER IN THE WORLD AND PEOPLE HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY I AM UGLY.
"Oh baby!" Serena cried. "How was I suppose to know that something wasn't right?"
I bounced for joy as her junk waggled. "OH BABY! BABY!" I squealed. "I shouldn't have let you go." Serena's eight dicks hid her body. "AND NOW YOU'RE OUT OF SIGHT."
Serena knocked her eight boners down. "SHOW ME HOW YOU WANT IT TO ME. TELL ME BABY CAUSE I NEED TO KNOW NOW WHAT BECAUSE…MY LONELYNESS IS KILLING ME."
"AND I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE WHEN I'M NOT WITH YOU I LOSE MY MIND GIVE ME A SIGN HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!"
"THIS IS GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR BUM!" Officer Jenny said. "YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"
"Shut up!" It was the voice of Toya lette my best friend from Jamaica and the top diglet trainer. She knows everything there is to know about diglette. She is really the best and she works as trainer in one of the gyms with her other friend Haribo Candy. It's a happy world with Harribo. And by the way I used to be a witch unstil I was exposed for fraud. It is not a fraud, because people believed it and I was the best vocal coach of all time until I was exposed for fraud again. It's only cause I got caught beating the shit of Jynx because she's a lame pokémon and never does what I say. I had her since she was a smoochum and she would always lose battles on purpose to make me look like a shitty trainer. And I slapped her, I slapped her good. She is an amazing fighter, we could have been pokémon champions if she had only listened to me.
Officer Jenny came to arrest me because I threw Jynx's pokeball in the bin. I was done with that bitch. JYNX NEEDS TO LEARN HER PLACE! BACK IN MY DAY POKEMON RESPECTED THEIR TRAINERS AND GAVE US RESPECT. WE SHOULD BRING WHIPPING BACK AND GIVE THEM THE PUNISHMENT THEY DESERVE IF THEY ARE NAUGHTY THEY ARE OUR PROPERY AND SLAVES NOT THE FURBABY OF SOME SNOWFLAKE BRAT.
TOYA LETTE FIRED A GUN. FUCK THE POLICE! Some of them are hot.
"I SHOT OFFICER JENNY!" Toya Lette sang at the top of her voice. Them ablibs are to die for. They make Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande and Christina Aguilera together in one room sound like a tiny mouse. "BUT I DID NOT SHOOT NO KENNY."
"Hey!" Meowth said as Jessie and James walked by in their groom and bride outfits. "It's that ugly bitch, Sakura Bum."
"Did she just shoot Officer Jenny?" James said, looking at the blood stained pavement in the street. "Should we call the police."
"NO!" Jessie screamed. "We need to go. The police will think it's us because we work for Team Rocket."
"Hey!" Meowth said pointing at the big boned cop with big glasses and a bad tan. "There's Officer Butt-Baby."
"EXCUSE ME," Officer Barbrady roared. "Are you members of Team Rocket?"
"No," Jessie said, winking. "We're just a couple who love cosplaying with our pokémon."
"Okay" Officer Barbrary said as he shrugged his shoulders and did everything he could to ignore Jenny. "Move along," there's nothing to see."
"THANKS BABE!" I said to Officer Barbrady as me, Serena and Toya have a threesome in the street. Everyone who walked past phoned the police but they're too busy with Eric Cartman's momma.
My ex, John Phoenix rose from the dead and my boyfriend, Serena with eight dicks was arrested. They were gonna rest Toya Lette but she used her diglet to escape. Lucky bitch. So Japanese prison blues got us all down and John Phoenix said he would defend us and the trial is gonna be such a rave because there's gonna be shiny disco balls and barbie pussys. PLEASE HELP MY FAIRY GODMOTHER BRUNO DOVE OF PEACE I NEED YOU TO WRITE A SONG THAT WILL MAKE YOU AND ME UBER FAMOUS AGAIN SO I CAN ROLL IN AMERICAN MONEY.