Back to the beginning...

This AU takes place leading up the events of season 3, episode 16 (ArtfulDodge) when Zapata told Reade she was in love with him. His responseis quite different from the original version.

It's been a rough couple of months, really the entire year has been a challenge. And the Assistant Director of the New York office of the FBI knew why things were out of balance.

There were things, people, one person that Edgar Reade thought he had gotten past and put out of his mind. He met a woman who he was very happy with. They now lived together. All seemed to be going well. Then, out of nowhere, he was kidnapped along with two old colleagues, friends actually, that he had seen or talked to in a year.

On that day, Reade woke up with a splitting headache. He was in a cage and next to him, still knocked out, was Natasha Zapata. She was the last person he expected to see! They hadn't spoken since she left the FBI for the CIA. Immediately his thoughts went to the day he kissed her in his apartment after his release from the hospital and how Tasha rejected him. Much later, after a series of misfortunate events she left his life.

He knew Tasha was unhappy with the slowness and bureaucracy of the FBI. She was really upset that Jane's brother Roman escaped after nearly destroying the eastern seaboard. She blamed both Kurt and Jane for that. When Tasha was offered a spot at Langley with the CIA she took it because the CIA was a darker organization with fewer rules. Reade didn't try to stop her, although he sensed he could have if he'djust ask her to stay. It was a decision that he regretted for months but was too stubborn to correct.

After his quick trip down memory lane, Reade was about wake up Tasha when the cage opened and Patterson was pushed inside. She was surprised to see her old teammates. Reade nudged Tasha awake. Her first words were"Hi, it's good to see you after a year." Those words stung Reade's ears. "It hasn't been a year" he protested. Tasha countered and said "It's been 365 days since we've talked."That exchange went on until Patterson stopped them. She knew they missed each other and bantering wasn't going to get them out ofthis prison.

The three escaped with Kurt and Jane's help. And after two years the entire team was back together again. That's when Reade began to doubt his feelings for his girlfriend because his feelings for Tasha resurfaced and they refused to be ignored. All this brought Edgar Reade to this particular, eye opening day.

This was a long day. Reade had a big argument with his now fiancé Meg about his obvious hesitation with discussing wedding details. She had noticed this for some time and would not go any further without talking it out with Reade. She all but accused him of being more concerned about Tasha than their life together. Reade knew that Meg was right. Things had changed when Zapata came back into his life as a member of the task force because she was always much more than a colleague.

Today, the team discovered from Zapata that Borden was still alive and was a CIA asset under the code name Dragonfly164. Zapata worked as his handler to take down a terrorist cell but didn't say anything to the task force after Jane came back with new tattoos. Rich had decoded text messages between Borden and his handler. Borden was requesting a meet in Central Park. Knowing the truth would eventually come out, Zapata had to tell the team about her year-long involvementwith him. More importantly, Patterson was devastated and felt betrayed by her best friend.

"How could you do this to me? You're my best friend and you should have thought about how working with Borden would impact me!" "I was protecting you Patterson!" Zapata knew their relationship would never be the same, but she was hoping that Patterson could forgive her one day. "I didn't want you to know Borden was alive and I was just doing my job." Patterson glared at Zapata and walked away.

The team spent the rest of the day figuring out how to handle the meet that Borden was asking for. Working with Jake Keaton, Tasha's CIA boss, Reade and group learned that Borden had helped in killing another CIA operative who had been captured by the terrorist group. He allowed himself to be seen on CCTV cameras. This gave Zapata the idea that Borden wanted to be seen so that the CIA knew he had not betrayed their trust. Ironically, Patterson confirmed that by looking at the video footage. Assistant Director Reade agreed to allow Tashato keep the meet with back up.

There was an incident in Central Park where one terrorist was killed and another critically shot. Borden was captured by Weller who had to restrain himself from really hurting him because of Patterson.Through their investigative techniques the team cracked coded messages and captured the leader of the terrorist cell without lossof life.

Reade was worried about Zapata although he felt she should not have hidden that she worked with Borden. He stopped by the locker room to see how Tasha was doing after her revelation to the team. He also knew that Tasha's relationship with Patterson would not easily heal. "Tasha, you've had a tough day, tougher than usual. Are you ok? "I'm fine", was her standard answer. Reade knew better. "Let's go get a drink and talk about this." "I'm getting a drink Reade, but I want to be alone." She grabbed her purse and walked past without looking at him. He knew where she was going and he was going to talk to her and hopefully make her feel better. She was still his best friend and he would not go home tonight without giving her a chance to share her side of working with Borden. Even if doing so put him in a worse place with his fiancé.

When Reade arrived at their favorite bar he saw his best friend nursing a drink and staring off into space. He knew Zapata well and seeing her like this broke his heart. He walked over and just stood there to get her attention. She looked up and said "I told you I wanted to be alone." Reade just smiled and said, "I know what you said, but I would not let you hang out alone because I don't want you to do something you'll regret later. Zapata looked at him with a weak smile because he was right and she was really glad he was there. He could always calm her down.

"Why did I agree to be Borden's handler? Someone else could have done this. What's wrong with me Reade?" Tears ran down Tasha'scheeks as she spoke. He knew she was being sincere. "Listen, Tash, I think you became Borden's handler to protect Patterson. You knew you could keep an eye on his activity and keep him from her. I think she'll eventually forgive you Tasha. But even if she doesn't, you still have me. Everything will work out fine as it usually does." Tasha stared at him and her tears began to flow again. "Things will not be fine Reade." She hesitated for a moment, not sure if she could or should say what was in her heart. He was engaged and she agreed to his best man.

"I'm in love with you." She finally said it. She had always been in love with him but couldn't allow herself to get involved with her partner and best friend because she didn't want to lose their relationship. It didn't make sense but nothing about Zapata and Reade was normal. They both knew that. Reade just sat there and looked at her. A million things went through his mind as he contemplated the words he always wanted to hear. He really wanted to react badly because she pushed him away two years ago. He got over it but it stung again when she left for the CIA. He met Meg and he thought he put all this behind him. When Tasha came back to the team he was not so sure anymore. And Meg could see it too. That is why they argued this morning and so many times before.

Reade summoned every bit of composure that he never knew he had. "So when did you discover that you were in love with me?" He sounded far more calm than he was and it made Zapata nervous. She knew she hurt him before when he kissed her. "I..I've always loved you Reade." She was on shaky ground now because she didn't like to discuss her feelings. "I was afraid to get involved with you although no one has ever treated me like you did and still do." "You certainly have a funny way of showing it Tasha." "And your timing stinks. I'm engaged or did you forget that?" "No, Tasha said, "how could I ever forget that it could be me that you were going to marry? But you did say pain killers made you kiss me." "Yes, and I lied Tasha. I was crushed because you were so attentive to me when I was in the hospital and when I got home. You had never shown that side ofyourself before. Everything I thought about you from the first day I met you seemed so real and I wanted you to know how I felt. I was in love with you then, and part of me still is."

Reade couldn't believe he just said all of that, but he was relieved to finally get it off his chest. Tasha expected him to be angry to the point of storming out of the bar but he never took his eyes off her. He wanted to be there, with her. She loved him but couldn't imagine hurting Megan. "Reade, I'm sorry for dropping this on you. It was wrong of me and I can't allow you to hurt Meg." "You are engaged and I'm happy for you although..." she couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too much to say. "Tasha, to be honest, I'm not confident that Meg and I get married. She has noticed the change in me since you came back. I said everything was fine, but I know it's not. Part of me still loves you and has never stopped. I don't know what's going to happen with you and me but I have to set things right with Meg. And that is not your fault. I know it took courage to tell me how you feel and I know you didn't do it to break up my engagement." "Reade, I…, Tasha begin to say". Reade kissed his two fingers and put them on Zapata's lips to gently silence her. "I need you to head home and stay out of trouble tonight Tash". Reade said this with a smile as he stood up. "We'll talk later."

Tasha had no idea her evening would go this way. She didn't want to see Reade because he would put her at ease and get her talking. She was vulnerable and wanted to finally tell him how she felt so staying away was her only choice. Then he just shows up like her knight inshining armor. How could she not love him? She was shocked at his response. He was so calm it terrified her. Now it seemed that Reade was going to break up with Meg. She felt happy and sad and she didn'tknow what would happen next between her and Reade. What she did know was that she was heading home tonight and staying out of trouble with a smile on her face. But then she remembered...

To be continued…