A/N: Hey guys – I'm back! Remember, feedback and reviews make me write a whole lot faster. Just saying.
Chapter 60
Sara was lying in bed staring out into the darkness in front of her. She could still feel the remains of her earlier adrenaline rush. Her heart was still racing and she felt shaky. Every time she closed her eyes Susan's face appeared. She felt Emy's arm move around her waist. "Are you awake" she whispered. "Yeah..." whispered Sara. Emy turned Sara onto her back and started softly and sensually kissing her neck. Sara didn't respond. Emy slowly made her way down to Sara's breasts and she started softly fondling them. Sara turned her face away and closed her eyes. "What's up Sar?" whispered Emy. "Nothing... I'm... I'm just tired I guess" said Sara. Emy stopped kissing Sara's abs and moved her face up. She kissed Sara's lips sensually and then lay back down on her side. "Don't stop" said Sara. "You're not into it Sar... another night" said Emy. "Yes I am... I..." mumbled Sara. "No... You're not... and I understand that" said Emy with her hands behind her head. "I'm sorry... It's not you... I just need some air. I'm sorry Em..." whispered Sara and got up. Emy switched the bed light on and moved to go with her. "If you don't mind Em... let me go alone" said Sara. Emy lay back down and bit her bottom lip. "You sure you're okay Sara?" she asked. "Yeah. I'm fine. Drop it please!" snapped Sara unnecessarily. Emy rolled her eyes and turned onto her side away from Sara. "Well sorry for caring" she whispered. "Don't do that" said Sara. "Do what" said Emy. "Make me feel guilty for not censoring my emotions" said Sara sounding annoyed. "Sara... you're the only one making yourself feel anything. Just get over yourself please" said Emy. "I... fuck... I don't know what I want" said Sara and shook her head and moved to the side of the bed. She got down on her knees in front of Emy. "I'm sorry baby" she whispered. Emy's eyes remained closed. "Emy... look at me please" she said. Emy opened her eyes and looked at Sara. "I'm sorry... I... I just had a really bad day and... I just need to process it in my head. I'm sorry for taking it out on you. You're amazing and I'm such a fuck up" said Sara. "You're not a fuck up Sara. It's okay. Do what you need to do. I'm here when you need me. I'm willing to deal with your moods. I'm not going anywhere" said Emy. Sara kissed her softly. "Thank you for understanding" she whispered. "I'm going to get some fresh air"
Tegan tried her best to fall asleep but she couldn't. She was tired but she just couldn't seem to doze off. She felt Lindsey's breathing slow down under her hand. She was sleeping. Tegan got out of bed slowly, careful not to wake Lindsey. She put on one of the fluffy robes and some slippers. She made herself a cup of tea and headed outside into the crisp night air. She breathed in deep and closed her eyes. She felt a lot better than earlier that evening but she was still weak. She walked to a large pool lounger and lay down on it out of breath. She listened to the crickets and looked at the night sky and smiled. "Tegan?" she heard Sara's voice ask. "Hey Sar. Couldn't sleep either?" she said. "Yeah... something like that" said Sara. She was holding a cuddly looking blanket and wearing some sweat pants and a hoody. "Are you supposed to be out here all alone Tee? Don't want you to get sick again" said Sara. "I'm fine. I'm dressed like an eskimo Sara..." said Tegan rolling her eyes. "Yeah but... what if you pass out again or..." Sara got cut off by Tegan. "I feel fine Sara. I'm nowhere near passing out I promise". Sara looked at Tegan concerned but decided not to say anything further. "Can I join you?" she said. "Sure... If you're willing to share the blankie" smiled Tegan. Sara lay down next to Tegan and covered them both with the blanket. She stared up into the night sky. "It's beautiful isn't it." she smiled. Tegan suddenly became aware of her emotions. Her heart was aching and she felt her throat become thick. "This is gonna sound so cheesy but I'm so happy I get to lie here and look at the night sky again like when we were kids" said Tegan. "Hell yeah!" smiled Sara. "I... I don't know what I would've done if we lost you Tee" said Sara seriously. "Been an only child?" joked Tegan. "That's not funny" laughed Sara and turned serious again. "I was so fucking petrified" she said. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that Sar" said Tegan. "You don't have anything to be sorry about Tee. I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose". They stared out at the stars in silence for a few minutes. "Tegan..." whispered Sara. "Yeah Sar" replied Tegan. "It's weird but... I feel closer to you than ever and I don't know why but... I just feel more connected somehow" said Sara. "Yeah me too... I had a weird twin thing this afternoon when you went to the police station. I was so scared but... it wasn't my fear it was... I don't know it's just hard to explain..." said Tegan. "When you were... God I still struggle to just think about it" said Sara and inhaled deeply. "When you were in cardiac arrest I... don't laugh now..." said Sara. "Jeez Sara I won't laugh" said Tegan frowning. "I think I felt your pain" said Sara frowning. "I could feel the shocks from the defibrillator running through you. I could feel those compressions on your chest. I completely lost it. I was screaming like a maniac, they had to sedate me. Maybe it's my imagination but fuck... it was weird" said Sara. Tegan giggled. "I thought you weren't gonna laugh" said Sara looking disgusted. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because when I woke up after that psycho yanked my drips out and shot you while I was out I felt so much pain in my abdomen and shoulder... It was excruciating, and then I figured out you were shot but I didn't know where. Only heard much later that it was your abdomen and shoulder" said Tegan seriously. "And I stopped feeling pain at some stage... It was so bad and then it just went away... then I heard you wailing a few seconds later" said Sara looking perplexed. "Well... if we weren't fucking weird enough to start off with" laughed Tegan. They lay in silence for a minute. "Hey Sasa... I think it's super cool and I'm glad it's you that I get to have this weird thing with" smiled Tegan. "Me too Teetee, just don't go and cut your finger making salad. I know how clumsy you get and I really don't want to pay for it" laughed Sara.
"Are you okay Sara?" asked Tegan after a minute of silence. "Yeah... sure..." sighed Sara. "My old weird twin thing is telling me you're not..." said Tegan. Sara waited a few seconds before replying. "I don't know... I was fine but today shook me up... it shook me to the core. I can't get her out of my mind and it's just brought back all these memories that I quite frankly don't know how to deal with." said Sara sounding emotional. "How can I help you Sar? I don't know how I can help you and it kills me" said Tegan, her voice breaking with emotion. "This is helping me Tee. Just talking, just chilling here with you tonight is helping me so, so much. I feel better already. Let's just talk shit for a while" smiled Sara.
Sara and Tegan lay with the blanket pulled below their chins on the lounger next to the pool talking for the next hour. Lindsey appeared and looked panicked. "Tegan! There you are! What are you doing here? I woke up and you weren't there and it scared the crap out of me" she said as she sat down on the lounger next to Tegan. "I couldn't sleep. I just needed some air and I didn't want to wake you." said Tegan. "You can't just wander off into the night alone Tegan... not when you just lost consciousness a few hours ago! I was so worried" said Lindsey sounding angry. "I'm with her. I'm not going to let her get hurt" said Sara. Lindsey looked at Sara but didn't say anything. She looked back at Tegan. "I'm sorry Linds. I won't do that again" said Tegan sounding like a small child. "You look tired Tee. Let's go back to bed." said Lindsey pulling the blanket off Tegan. She helped her up gently. Tegan turned around to Sara. Sara smiled and winked. "Thanks brother" said Tegan as she weakly started to make her way back into the house. "Goodnight guys" said Sara as she put her arms behind her head. She closed her eyes. For the first time since the identity parade she didn't think about what happened at the police station or when they were kidnapped. She smiled and said a silent prayer of thanks for her sister.
A/N: This chapter may be a bit slow moving but I'm a bit slow myself today. Jet lag sucks. Review please!