A/N - Hi everyone! Thanks for the patience on this chapter! As always, I appreciate everyone for reading and taking the time to offer feedback. I hope that this story is offering a small escape from some of the things going on in the world right now. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks!

—

Halloween night came the week after Mona's wedding. It fell in the middle of the week, so trick-or-treating was moved to Friday night for the kids. The plan was for Alison to come to Rosewood so that she and Emily could take Lily and Grace trick-or-treating around the neighborhood with Hanna, Caleb, and the Rivers kids.

Alison's night with Emily following the wedding reception hadn't gone exactly as planned, but she was still satisfied with the outcome. She felt like she and Emily were really building something and making a lot of progress. Sure, that progress sometimes flatlined or had bumps in the road, but they were learning to handle those together.

Now that Hanna and presumably Caleb knew about their relationship, Alison and Emily decided that they should think about telling Spencer and eventually Aria as well. It wouldn't be fair to ask Hanna to keep that secret for them and it would also be nice to not feel like they were lying or hiding their relationship from their friends. The last time that they had gotten together amidst the AD drama, it hadn't taken long for them to slip about their relationship. This time, it would be best to just get ahead of it and tell their friends outright.

One thing that had been stuck in Alison's head all week was how sullen Emily had been after her conversation with Hanna. Emily hadn't gone into details and Alison found herself wondering what it was that Hanna had said to cause Emily to feel so unsure. She thought that her relationship with Hanna had taken some steps in the last year. After their conversation following the bachelorette party, she really thought that they had bonded. Maybe not as much as she thought, though?

Alison pulled up to the house and noted the Rivers' car outside. It looked like everyone was inside already. She walked in and her ears were immediately ringing with the sounds of children running around excited. Emily walked from the kitchen to greet her, meeting her halfway.

The brunette looked over her shoulder and reached out to give her a hug. "Hey."

"Happy Halloween," Alison smirked as they both pulled back.

Emily rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Halloween is like the worst holiday for parents. It basically ensures that you're going to be chasing after your kids for weeks while they tear through their candy stash."

Alison snorted, "Well don't give them all of the candy."

"What am I supposed to do, throw it away?"

"No," Alison smirked again, "You clearly just need better hiding places."

"Well I'm sure you can hep with that," Emily rolled her eyes. There wasn't any hostility behind it. Alison had spent all of her childhood hiding things around this house.

They walked into the kitchen where everyone was gathered. "How did the facepaint go, by the way?" Alison asked.

The girls were dressing up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Dr. Seuss books, with Aidan joining them as the Cat in the Hat.

"It was a no-go." Emily bit her lip.

"Why? It's part of the costume."

They walked in and Alison took note of the kitchen table. There was white paint spilled all over newspaper and little paint brushes stuck in it. It was a mess. She nodded back at Emily. "Okay, it's a no-go," she agreed.

"I'll actually take responsibility for that one," Caleb spoke up, "It was my child that spilled the paint." He and Emily shared a laugh at the memory. They'd put Aidan in the chair first and the little boy had been so excited that he flung his arm out and knocked the face paint over. After that, they decided paint was maybe not the best idea to have around excited children.

Lily and Grace came running over to greet Alison. "Mommy do you like my blue hair?" Lily asked, enthusiastically. She was "Thing 2" according to the front of the costume. Both girls had on wigs with short, spiked blue hair.

Alison thought it looked ridiculous, but she smiled and ran her hand through the wig anyway. "Very cool," she nodded.

"We're going to wear the hair to school on Monday!" Grace announced.

"We'll leave that one up to your Mama." Alison looked over top of the little girl's head at Emily. The brunette's eyes were wide and she shook her head animatedly.

"You guys ready?" Hanna asked. She was holding Ava on her lap. It was crazy to think that the little newborn from last year was already a year old.

"Girls, grab your trick or treat bags." Emily called to Lily and Grace.

As always, it was a project to get all of the kids out of the house, but it helped that they were excited to walk around the neighborhood and get candy. Emily held Lily's hand as they walked with Grace and Aidan holding hands a few paces in front of them. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of the kids walking around trick-or-treating together on the very same streets that she, Alison, and Hanna did. They hadn't actually all been friends at that age, but Emily had plenty of Halloween memories with her friends from when they were a little bit older. It was special to make those memories with her own children.

Alison, Hanna, and Caleb walked behind them. Ava was still too little to walk around the neighborhood, so Caleb was pushing her in her stroller. When they reached the end of one of the blocks, Alison nudged Hanna, "Can we walk this way?" She asked, nodding her head towards a side street. Hanna nodded and the two walked off, leaving Caleb to supervise the kids with Emily.

Alison knew that Hanna probably had a good idea of why she wanted to walk alone with her, but she still felt a little nervous. She'd wanted the opportunity to talk to the the blonde all week and now that it was here, she realized that she hadn't really planned out what to say. She decided to start with the obvious.

"So Em said that she told you about us?" She turned her head to eye Hanna as the walked.

"More like she told me because I heard you two getting it on in the bathroom," Hanna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah... sorry about that." Alison grimaced. She figured it was going to come up but hadn't expected it to be right out of the gate.

"Who doesn't check to make sure the coast is clear anyway?"

"Emily, apparently."

"Apparently," Hanna huffed.

"She was..." Alison pauses to consider her words, "pretty down after you guys talked."

Hanna looked over at the other blonde as they continued to walk down the quiet side street. She actually did feel bad about her her initial talk with Emily. She was just surprised at the revelation and honestly a little bit hurt that Emily had kept something so major from her. If she had found out in a different way she would have shared the same sentiment, but probably done so in a softer way. She was just worried about her friends.

"My delivery could have been better," Hanna admitted, "but we talked later and I think she understood."

"She did, but you made her question things that we've already worked through," Alison told her feeling a little bit annoyed. Hanna had taken the wind out of their sails that night by causing Emily to lose her confidence in what they were building. "I thought that you and I were good, Hanna... why don't you think I'm good enough for her."

Hanna stopped walking. She shook her head at Alison's comment as her brows constricted. "It's not about that. You both are my friends. I literally would have said the exact same things to you."

Alison blinked. So if it wasn't about her then what was it? She exhaled and they started walking again. "So what is it then?"

"It's that I don't think that you two have thought this through. We're not twenty-three anymore. What happens if it doesn't work out?"

It hurt to hear because that was something that Alison was terrified of. That it wouldn't work out this time either. She'd been so in love with Emily before, but somehow their relationship had fallen through the cracks last time.

The difference now was that she believed in herself. Last time, it had been different. She wasn't sure of herself, wasn't sure if she should be a mom, wasn't sure that she could be trusted with Emily's heart, and in the end she had let her insecurities explode. She trusted herself this time though. She trusted both of them.

"Is that how you would think?" Alison flipped the question on the other girl. "If this was you and Caleb that we were talking about?"

"We're not broken up, so…"

"But you were. You were broken up when he and Spencer were seeing each other. She was your friend and you went for it anyway. What if it didn't work out for you guys? What would that have felt like?"

"It would have sucked. And I would have felt terrible. But it did work out."

"You still took the risk knowing that there was a chance that it wouldn't," Alison pointed out.

"I knew that it was going to work out. I knew him and I knew myself and I knew that we would make things work because of how much we loved each other," Hanna told her.

"Exactly." Alison said as they turned back onto the main street.

Hanna stayed quiet as she thought about it. She knew how much both girls loved each other, but she loved them too and she didn't want to see anyone get hurt again. They both seemed adamant about it, though. She didn't want to work against him.

"Don't break her heart again, Ali." Hanna warned.

Alison took a breath. She hadn't had any intention to the first time. She would work every day to make sure that it didn't happen again.

Hanna spoke again, "And I would tell Emily the same thing. That she better not hurt you."

It brought a small smile to Alison's face. She had been so worried that Hanna was holding a grudge against her and that Emily would possibly take her best friend's side.

"And you two better not hurt me. I personally don't think I'd make it through another Alison and Emily breakup."

Alison laughed. She didn't want to make any promises, but she knew her intentions. She would do everything in her power to make this work. She would be patient and understanding with the other woman and open herself up to her so that she could receive the same.

"I'm going to make sure that it works out this time," she told Hanna seriously.

The others came into view as the two street blocks intersected. "Hey, we were wondering where you guys went," Emily called.

They saw a little figure in a black and white costume with a giant hat come running up. Aidan held opened his bag for his mother to see, "Look at all my candy!" He showed Hanna excitedly.

"Oh great," Hanna expressed flatly.

Alison and Emily exchanged looks between one another. Emily had a pretty good idea of what the two blondes had been up to. They continued walking down the street as the children excitedly looked forward to the next door to knock on and for the candy that they would receive.

—

Emily brought up Alison's disappearance later that night. They were sitting on the couch together, both exhausted from trying to get the girls to sleep. When they had gotten home and the Rivers had departed, both twins had dumped out their bags on the floor and done a thorough inventory of all of the candy. Emily had caught both of them sneaking a few pieces into their mouths, despite telling them that they needed to quit for the night. After the counting each piece, the twins swapped candy. Lily took Grace's peanut butter cups, while Grace took Lily's twizzlers. Emily's eyes felt heavy and she almost felt asleep watching them. Luckily, they had crashed shortly after, freeing Emily and Alison to eventually do the same.

"So where did you and Hanna sneak off to?" Emily asked.

Alison wanted to play coy and make a joke or act like she didn't know what Emily was talking about, but she didn't want to come across as suspicious. She knew Emily's triggers and while it probably wouldn't have been a huge deal this time, she was trying to build good habits.

"We took a walk. She and I haven't talked since you told her that we're together."

"Did she let you have it too?" Emily asked. Alison hadn't seemed super down after they met back up, but Hanna had made her feelings pretty clear to Emily. She couldn't imagine that the conversation had gone much differently for Alison.

"She tried, yeah, but I think we're good," Alison looked over at Emily and nodded with her lips pressed together.

"You think?"

"Well she obviously has her concerns, but I'm not worried about them," Alison shrugged.

Emily tilted her head at the response. "Why is that?"

The blonde shook her head. She leaned in close to Emily's face as if she was going to peck her lips but pulled back slightly. "I believe in us. I get why she's worried, but we're going to make it."

Emily leaned in a little. She could feel the other girl's breath tickling her lips, "You think so?" She wanted the blonde's words to be true, so much so that she found herself believing them as fact. It was so different from how their relationship had been the first time. Alison's unsure nature made Emily question everything at times. Right now though, Emily couldn't imagine a scenario in which they wouldn't work out.

"Know so." Alison leaned in, finally pressing their lips together. It made Emily's chest feel like there were firecrackers in it. Her insides had been filled with so much hope, but the hope was sparking into something more. With every passing day, that hope was starting to feel like belief, and that was an amazing feeling.

They kissed for a few moments, keeping it fairly chaste. Sometimes it just felt good to be together. To be able to kiss and touch whenever they wanted instead of inwardly scolding themselves as they had done in years past.

Emily leaned back and rested her cheek on the couch.

"So are you tired," Emily asked, "what do you want to do tonight?" Since it was still Halloween weekend there were probably some fun movies on tv. She'd always loved Hocus Pocus growing up.

"The same thing we were just doing," Alison smirked and wiggles her eye brows briefly.

Emily laughed out loud at the comment. Alison had never been subtle, even when they'd been together the first time. She started to lean in, but stopped abruptly when she heard a small voice.

"I can't sleep, Mama."

Emily's brows shot up upon hearing her daughter's words. Thank god she hadn't made her presence known ten seconds later. Both she and Alison turned and saw Grace standing in the middle of the staircase. She was holding a small stuffed elephant that she slept with every night and looking at Emily with tired eyes. It didn't seem like she had picked up on anything between her mothers.

"Imagine that," Alison said knowingly. Both twins had eaten way too much sugar to be able to fall asleep at their normal time.

Emily sighed. She hoped that the girls wouldn't be too off of their schedule. "Come sit down," she patted the couch.

Before Grace even reached her mothers, another set of of little footsteps sounded from the staircase.

"I can't sleep either," Lily whined.

Alison smirked at Emily knowingly. There wasn't going to be any more kissing tonight. She pushed herself off the couch.

"I'll go warm up some milk for them." That usually settled them down a bit.

Emily and Alison spent the rest of the night in the living room with their twins, all four of them cuddled together on both couches. They put a movie on in hopes of tiring girls out, but the adults both fell asleep too. The next morning they all slept in, schedule be damned, and took it easy. Halloween was a holiday after all. They didn't beat themselves up about it too much. What was most important was that they were spending time together as a family and it was clear that in itself made all four of them happy.

—

Following her conversation with Hanna, Alison felt a renewed sense of confidence in her relationship with Emily. She really believed in herself and despite not saying it outright, it seemed like she had swayed Hanna into believing too. The confidence bled into her interactions with Emily as well. Things didn't feel tense between them like the did on Mona's wedding night. They were able to just be, and Alison was enjoying every minute of it.

The next step that they talked about was clueing in Spencer about their relationship. They definitely wanted to do so before Thanksgiving and with the holiday steadily approaching, they knew that they'd have to figure it out sooner rather than later.

The problem was finding the right time. Spencer had started her third and final year of law school and she seemed swamped with work every time they talked. She didn't really take the time to come to Rosewood during the week and Alison had the girls on the weekends. It was either up to Alison to meet her during the week or for Emily to track her down on the weekend. There wasn't really a time that they could do it together. In the end, Alison drew the short straw and she planned a dinner together with Spencer to give her the news.

Promise not to be mad at me if I chicken out? Alison texted Emily from her table at the restaurant she was meeting Spencer at in the city. She'd arrived early and was waiting on the other girl. The problem was, the extra time was making her stew in her thoughts. She really hoped this didn't go poorly.

You're not going to chicken out. Emily's reply read.

I might. If she's in a bad mood, I'm not going to bother. She knew how stressed Spencer had been with school lately. Their friend was at the top of her class as she had never lost that Hastings drive for perfection.

You're going to be FINE. Emily texted back to reassure her. Easy for Emily to say, Alison thought. She was watching Thursday night tv with the twins, not here all nerve ridden like Alison was.

She looked up and saw Spencer with the hostess getting ready to walk her way. Shit, she's coming. She texted Emily.

Good luck, the brunette replied. Alison rolled her eyes. The phone buzzed again and she looked down and saw a second message that made her smile. I love you.

She was smiling as Spencer sat down and it allowed her to start dinner off on a good note. "Hey!" She waved as the other girl took her seat.

Spencer smiled back and returned the greeting, seemingly in good spirits. They ordered drinks and Spencer explained to her that she'd gotten some great feedback this week on a research paper that she was trying to get published by the Law Review. Alison was happy for her. She knew what a high pressure and high stress environment that Spencer was in and it was good to hear that her hard work was getting recognized.

As the meal continued, the conversation covered a few different topics. Spencer asked how Halloween had gone and Alison couldn't help but pull out her phone and show Spencer a picture of the twins and Aidan.

"That's a riot," Spencer laughed at the photo. "Poor Aidan is so outnumbered by girls. He's going to spend his whole childhood getting tortured."

Alison returned the laugh. It was true, outside of his father, he was surrounded by girls. It would be good for him though, Alison thought. What better way to make sure that he was respectful to women as he got older.

"I caught Grace sneaking some of his candy. He totally saw her do it and just let it happen."

"He's going to marry one of your daughters," Spencer raised her brows, "mark my words."

"I'm sure Hanna would love that... but don't mention it to Em. She doesn't need another reason to be protective over them." They were both pretty hands off when it came to letting the girls have fun and make their own mistakes, but Emily actually trusted very few adults to watch over her daughters. It wasn't the world that Emily didn't trust, it was the people in it. Still though, Aidan would definitely grow into a young man that they wouldn't need to protect either Lily or Grace from.

"How have things been going with her?" Spencer asked. Alison raised a brow in surprise. Did Spencer know what Alison wanted to talk to her about? The brunette seemed to pick up on Alison's confusion, so she clarified. "She seemed a little moody at Mona's wedding."

Alison just shrugged, "She had some things on her mind, but we talked about it. She's good."

"I thought that she was just going to drive back to Rosewood after the wedding, but her car was still outside of my apartment building the next day."

Damn Spencer for being so detail oriented. She and Emily hadn't really considered that Spencer would notice the car when they'd concocted their little plan. She figured now was as good a time as ever.

"Yeah, she actually... she actually stayed with me that night." Alison told her.

"Hm, well that makes sense, I guess."

The blonde pinched her brows. "What do you mean?"

"Well if you had an extra bed, she may as well have stayed with you so that she wouldn't have to drive home. I would have let her stay with me if she would have just asked." Spencer shrugged and stuck her fork into her salad to take a bite.

Alison twisted her lips. "I, um, didn't have two beds actually."

Spencer looked up and squinted at her with a slight tilt of her head. She could clearly sense Alison's discomfort. She breathed out a little laugh.

"Are you telling me that you guys hooked up that night?"

"Not exactly..."

Spencer snorted a laugh in return.

"Spence it's not-"

"It's okay, Ali, we've all had slips before. I'm honestly surprised that it took this long for it to happen to you two."

"It wasn't a slip."

"So nothing happened?" The brunette asked.

"That's not what I said."

"You don't need to be embarrassed about it." Spencer chuckled. "It happened, just try and make sure that it doesn't happen again becau-"

"Spencer. We're together."

That brought the other girl's train of thought to a halt. She constricted her brows and put her fork down. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We're together. We're-" she felt her heart pound in her chest, "trying to make it work again."

Spencer didn't say anything. She just stared at her friend across from her. After a few moments, the silence got to Alison. "Will you please say something?"

"I'm not sure what to say."

Alison stared at the girl across from her. Her face was expressionless as she processed the information. She couldn't tell what Spencer was thinking, whether she approved or not. She felt a rush of insecurity and finally understood how Emily must have felt when Hanna confronted her. She felt sure in their relationship, but the idea that they might not be supported was hard to deal with.

"So you think it's a bad idea?" Alison deducted.

Spencer exhaled and shook her head. "I didn't say that." She was quiet for a beat before she added, "I'm not sure if it's a good idea, though."

Alison couldn't help but roll her eyes. The lack of confidence from their friends was really frustrating. "Hanna acted the same way. She made Emily question the whole thing. I wish you guys could just trust us."

"Ali, she should be questioning what she's doing. You both should be."

"You don't get to make judgements. You're not there for every conversation that we have. You're acting like we just jumped in without really thinking about it."

Spencer shook her head, "Isn't that what you guys did before?"

"Things are different now," Alison let out a frustrated breath, "We're different now."

"How? Because last time you two just got together thinking that was going to solve all of the problems around you, and honestly it just created more."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alison's voice rose. She quick looked around to make sure she wasn't getting the attention of the other diners around her. No matter how badly their relationship had ended a few years ago, she never once regretted their relationship or their marriage. She just wished that she had gone about things differently. That was what they were doing now. They were trying to do it right this time.

"It means that you both ended up in a really painful situation. You two got separated when you had two young children, and it put all of us in a really tough situation."

It was the truth, but those were things that she and Emily were trying to keep in the past.

"You two have finally got your stride back. Why would you risk that?" Spencer continued, shaking her head again.

"You really can't understand?" It was like the situation with Hanna. Spencer had gotten back together with Toby after years of being broken up. They were married now. They'd figured out their problems and were happier than ever.

"It's not the same, Ali." Spencer shut it down, seemingly knowing where she was going with the conversation. "Toby and I spent years apart and we didn't have two kids."

"We're thinking of Lily and Grace. They don't know that anything has changed. And they won't until we're ready to tell them."

"Emily seems to want something different everyday and you never seem to know what you want. How do you know that this isn't going to end the same way that it did before?" Spencer asked.

"Because we've talked about it. We've talked about our relationship more in the past few weeks than we did in years while we were together. We talk to each other, we've talked to our therapists, we've been honest conversations about what we're thinking and what we want. We both want each other and we're willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Before, they had willed their relationship to work, hoping that love and desire alone could do the trick. They knew now that it doesn't work that way. They couldn't rely on just will, they needed action too. They needed communication and patience. They needed understanding and compromise. Both Emily and Alison were prepared to give each other all of that and more.

Spencer pressed her lips together. She knew that she couldn't tell them what to do, and even if she did they probably wouldn't listen. She wanted everyone to be happy, but in her experience Emily and Alison's relationship had caused a lot of pain. She would be fine, but she didn't want to see her friends go through that heartbreak again. "I hope it works out."

Alison let the words hang for a beat. She stared right into Spencer's dark eyes. "It will." She told her, voice full of confidence.

Spencer gave a small smile and nodded. She hoped so.

—

Emily hadn't been surprised when Alison relayed Spencer's reaction to her. Honestly, she had thought it would be worse.

She thought back to the day that Alison had told her that she would go through with the pregnancy that would eventually give them their daughters. Emily had been elated. She never knew how much she wanted to be a mother until she had the opportunity to be. She and Alison hadn't talked about what having the babies together would mean for their relationship, but Emily knew what she wanted. She wanted to be with the girl that she had loved for years. She wanted them to be a family together. She had assumed that was what Ali wanted too.

Everything had gone fine until the day that she and Spencer were building a crib and the other girl had taken a pin and deflated her. She had been brutally honest and Emily hadn't wanted to hear it at the time. She told Emily that she was assuming a lot about what Ali wanted and while it turned out that the blonde wanted the same things, she had missed the whole point of what Spencer had told her. Emily and Alison hadn't communicated then. She used that experience to make sure that she wasn't making the same mistake now. She made sure to have several conversations with the blonde about what she wanted and where she saw their future going.

She didn't tell Alison, but there was another person that it was important for her to clue in besides their friends. She had specifically left this part of her life out of her meetings with Doctor Brown. She felt like she had the tools to figure out how to navigate her relationship without deffering to her therapist. She didn't want anything to influence her course of action and determine the results. She knew that it had to be on her. Towards the middle of November, she decided that she was finally ready to talk to the other woman about it.

Her session started as they normally did. She caught Dr. B up on her current events. When they had first started meeting, Emily went every week on the same day at the same time. In the beginning, she hadn't particularly wanted to see a therapist. She knew that she was still struggling with a lot of issues from her past, but she'd never really enjoyed therapy before. Keeping a standing appointment had been her way of making sure that she didn't ditch it or continually push it out. She'd grown to look forward to their meetings over time. Doctor Brown had been patient with her from the get go and never tried to label her feelings or tell her what she should think. She thought of the older woman as something between a mother and a friend. She was sympathetic towards any of Emily's struggles, but always tried to stay unbiased.

I'm the time since Alison had come back, she's scaled her meetings down somewhat. The still met regularly, but it was a little more sporadic, usually every two weeks or so. In the time since they'd started together, Emily had made an immense amount of progress. It wasn't necessarily as important to meet quite as often and she usually just updated Doctor Brown about the comings and goings of her life.

Today, she filled her in on Halloween and the last couple of weeks. She talked about work, her mother, and her friends while peppering in some of Lily and Grace's updates from kindergarten. Doctor Brown gushed over the pictures that Emily showed her on her cellphone. Her therapist was always asking for updates on her kids. Emily has been seeing her since the twins were toddlers and the other woman had enjoyed watching them grow with her.

"So what else has been going on," Doctor Brown asked. She leaned forward and passed Emily's phone to her and then sat back and smiled at her client.

Emily tucked the phone away and mirrored the casual way that her therapist was sitting. It was inviting, and Emily always found herself wanting to talk more when they relaxed like this. She pressed her lips together in thought. "Next week is Thanksgiving," she mused.

"Where are you celebrating this year?"

"My friend Aria's parents are hosting. She's coming back from South America with her daughter and Ali's brother." She was looking forward to finally seeing Aria again. She hadn't seen her in person since the twins birthday and she knew that Lily and Grace would enjoy seeing Kate.

"It's funny how things work out."

"It is," Emily nodded with a smile. She hadn't been sure about how to bring up her new relationship but she knew that the session was winding down. She took the opening while it was there. She let the silence hang for a minute and then filled it. "There's actually something else that's been going on..."

Doctor Brown sat up a little bit straighter. "What's that?" She asked.

"I've been seeing someone..." She couldn't help it as the end of her lips curved up slightly at the thought of Alison.

"Well you ended things with your last girlfriend a few months ago now. How is this relationship going?"

Emily's lips formed a full smile, "Good," she nodded, "Really good."

Her therapist mirrored her expression, nodding with a smile of her own. It was obvious that Emily was happy with her relationship. "How is she fitting into your life?"

"She fits in really well. We're taking things slow though... only a few people actually know about it."

"Have you told Alison about her yet?"

Emily breathed out a short laugh and looked down at her lap. She'd almost

forgotten about the most important part. She looked back at up Doctor Brown. "It is Alison, actually."

Her therapist tilted her head to the side with a small smile. She nodded her head briefly, "I suspected that."

"How?"

"You haven't mentioned Alison specifically during our last few sessions. I was worried that you two had an argument, but when you divulged you've been dating someone it made sense."

Emily looked back at her lap and shook her head. "I didn't want to lie... so I just tried to avoid the topic."

"I can understand that."

"Should I have talked to you first? Do you think it's a bad idea?"

The other woman shook her head. "No, I'm actually proud of you. It seems like you worked through your feelings on your own. That's a big step."

Emily wasn't sure why, but hearing Doctor Browns approval meant more to her than she had anticipated. It felt like all of this time in therapy had been truly helpful to her.

"We worked through our feelings together actually." Just a few months ago, the idea of having serious conversation with Ali about their feelings was terrifying. Now she loved it. They talked every night that they were together, constantly making sure that that were on the same page. She had no idea that the two of them could be in a relationship where she wasn't always questioning things and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Sounds like things are going well. I'm happy for you both."

"Okay this was way easier than telling our friends. Hanna and Spencer didn't take the news very well."

"How do you mean?"

"They both think it's a bad idea." Emily lips twisted into a frown as her brows pinched. It was nice to finally get approval from someone who mattered, but she hated that her two best friends weren't really buying in.

"Well that isn't for them to decide," Doctor Brown shrugged, causing Emily to chuckle. "Give them time."

"What will that do? The damage is already done?" Emily grumbled.

"The divorce is still probably more fresh for them than you think. You can't blame them for being apprehensive. You and Alison know the strides you've made. Just concentrate on continuing to build and eventually your friends will see that."

Emily nodded along.

"What about your daughters?" Doctor Brown asked.

"We've kept everything the same with them. We want to keep their lives as even and normal as possible."

"I agree with that. And your mom?"

"Oh no, she has no idea. I'm not ready to go down that road with her." She shook her head, wildly.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she has an idea of what is going on," Doctor Brown pointed out, "Its important to make sure that she hears about it from you."

Emily nodded, "I know. It's just..." She wanted to say that she was worried that Pam wouldn't approve and it would affect their relationship negatively. Her relationship with her mother was so important to her. It wasn't just all of the help that Pam offered. It was the fact that she no longer had her father and that made her feel even more scared over potentially ever losing her mother. She knew that her Mom often made quick judgements and she was worried about her reaction.

Doctor Brown noted her apprehension. "I understand if you're not completely ready... I would just advise you not to wait too long."

Emily nodded. "I won't. We're just taking things really slow. We haven't even... slept together yet."

Her therapist pushed her brows together. "That's interesting. Any reason why?"

Emily felt herself blush a little. She'd talked to Doctor Brown plenty of times about her sex life, but it seemed a little more personal now because they were talking about Alison. "We just wanted to build a good foundation first. We didn't want to just rush into it because of... attraction." It felt like more than attraction for Emily though. It was a desire so strong that it kept her up at night.

"It's seems to me that you've built that foundation," her therapist pointed out.

"Yeah..." Emily pushed her lips together with a slight nod.

"So what do you think it is that you're waiting for?"

"Well we cant exactly just get it on any night of the week. We have kids."

"But you've had opportunities. Have you not?"

"We have..." Emily admitted reluctantly.

Doctor Brown eyed her. She nodded and sat back in her seat. Emily knew that she had something to say.

"What?" She asked.

"Do you think that you might be avoiding physical intimacy?"

"I just want it to be the right time." She didn't want to just do it on impulse. She wanted it to be deliberate. She wasn't avoiding it... right?

"I thought that the right time was after you built a solid foundation. You've done that."

"I just want it to be perfect..."

"I would advise you not to think that way." Emily looked back at her with a confused expression and the woman continued. "You spent years before building up your relationship with Alison and when it wasn't perfect you were crushed. Don't make yourselves try to measure up to perfection."

It was true. She'd waited years and years to be with Alison. She'd loved her for as long as she could remember and had thought that if they could just finally be together that things would be perfect. When Alison had finally admitted her feelings, Emily thought that the hard part was over. Eventually, every argument chipped away at her idea of perfection until she was left with a shell of what she thought their relationship would be.

"Don't set yourself up for a letdown, Emily. Let whatever perfections or imperfections be a part of what you build." Doctor Brown concluded.

Emily raised her brows in agreement, "You're right."

Doctor Brown just smiled like she knew, but appreciated the confirmation.

"I'm not avoiding physical intimacy though. I want that with her. Like badly." She stressed.

"Well you two have already done the hard part. You should reward yourselves."

Emily laughed out loud at that. It was definitely advice that she could get on board with, though. She could think of plenty of ways that they could reward themselves.

Doctor Brown checked her watch. "We've had our time unless there's anything else that you'd like to talk about."

"I think I'm good for now." Emily stood up and collected her things.

"Will I be seeing you before your birthday?" Her therapist asked as she stood from her chair.

Emily shook her head, "I don't think so." Her birthday was at the end of the week and she wasn't planning on scheduling her next session until after Thanksgiving.

"Well Happy 30th Birthday, in that case."

"Thanks," Emily smiled, "And thank you for today."

They said their goodbyes and Emily made her way to the car. She was getting ready to enter a new decade of life. She was a completely different person than she had been the year that she turned twenty in California. She'd loved, she'd lost, she'd made mistakes, and she'd grown. This new decade was sure to provide new experiences and she was ready to embrace them.

—

A/N - Typical Spencer to be cautious when it come to other people's relationships (rarely with her own though). Should out to Emily who will hopefully be making some moves next chapter. I'll likely update the rating on this before the next update- Doctor Brown's orders.

Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts! Hope everyone is taking care of themselves. Until next time...