A/N-Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter! I was a little bit nervous prior to posting. Glad it had some people sweating in a good way.
To the guest who pointed out the Instagram meme that reminded you of Em and Dr B- I found it! It didn't disappoint.
So sorry that this one took awhile to get out. Thanks for the patience! On the bright side it's about the longest chapter yet soo maybe I get brownie points for that? Hope you enjoy!
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Alison watched Emily walk down the hallway of her apartment building after she left. She immediately missed the other woman's presence. The stretch between last night and this morning was the longest that she and Emily had gotten to spend alone together since they'd separated. She knew that Emily had to get back to Rosewood, but it was tough to watch her go. She hadn't wanted their time together to end just yet.
Last night had lived up to every daydream that she had about being with Emily again. Not just being with her, but really being with her. Since they had gotten back together, she'd been wanting to be intimate with the other woman almost desperately. Getting over the hurdle of putting herself out there and telling Emily that she wanted to try to work things out had been the hard part for her. After that, she was ready to be all in and give herself completely to the other woman.
In the last few weeks, though, she'd worried that maybe Emily wasn't ready to give all of herself to her. She was confident in what they had and where their relationship was going, but admittedly there had been a small seed of doubt that had started to sprout. She'd stressed over the lingerie that she'd chosen, nervous that the idea could potentially backfire if it turned out that Emily actually wasn't ready sleep together.
In the end, everything had been perfect. Every moment, every touch, and every kiss had felt like heaven. From the beginning of their relationship, when they'd first gotten together, they had always been especially intimate in the bedroom. The brunette always made her feel loved and wanted. Emily gave her the confidence to be herself like no one ever had before.
When Emily had finally touched her for the first time last night, the only thought that her brain could comprehend was finally. Then for the rest of the night, the words that kept soaring through her mind were more, more, more. She enjoyed every second that they had been together. Judging by Emily's reactions, both physically and otherwise, Alison assumed that it was mutual.
And it had been.
For Emily, admitting her feelings had been the easy part. She'd known throughout the last few years that her feelings for the blonde were still there there. They were always lurking beneath the surface, threatening to peak out. When Alison had kissed her and told her that she was still in love with her, it wasn't even a question of whether or not Emily would pursue things.
It surprised Emily a little how seamless it felt having Alison back into her life in a romantic way. It made her nervous. She couldn't figure out why things were so easy. It was as if the other shoe was going to drop. As time went by, though, she found that even when the shoe slipped, they'd both been there to help each other catch it. If it had been up to her, they would have waited longer to tell their friends because she had been nervous to hear their reactions. The reactions that they got had been what she was afraid of, but they'd gotten through that together. It was after they'd weathered several storms that Emily felt confident in wanting to take things to the next level.
And last night hadn't disappointed.
Being with Alison again in that way had been everything that Emily wanted and more. It felt like they hadn't missed a beat when they were together. She knew that the love was still there, but last night had confirmed that the passion was still there too. A series of tingles went through her body just thinking about it.
She tried to cool herself down as she drove back to Rosewood and got herself into the mindset to be with her mother and daughters.
When she walked through the door, she was tackled by two small bodies throwing their arms around her waist.
"Happy Birthday!" Lily and Grace shouted before letting out a stream of giggles.
"Aw thank you!" Emily smiled as she bent down slightly to throw an arm around each girl. She thought back to a time almost five years ago when, as a twenty-five year old, she could hold both of their tiny bodies in each arm at the same time. Watching her daughters grow up had served as a reminder that time was passing. It would be nice if it could just slow down.
"Finally!" Pam rounded the corner with a big smile on her face. Emily felt a little bit guilty that she'd kept her mother waiting, but Pam didn't seem too upset. She had an excited demeanor and engulfed Emily into a big hug.
"Where's Mommy?" Lily asked suddenly, looking around.
Emily noticed her mother's brows pinch slightly, but she tried not to notice. Instead she just smiled down at Lily. "She's at her apartment. She already wished me a happy birthday."
"But there's cake here." Grace piped in, confused as to why Alison wouldn't want to come for cake.
"We'll see her in a few days," Emily deflected. "Can you show me the cake? Did you help Grandma make it?"
Both girls giggled and nodded. They pulled Emily into the kitchen to present the cake to her.
Pam didn't bother putting all thirty candles on the cake. She just put a "3" and a "0" candle on it, which was much less messy when Emily blew out her candles. The cake was unsurprisingly delicious. The four of them sat at the table eating and making conversation. Now that the girls were getting older, their conversation skills had improved tremendously. It was fun to talk to them and see their little personalities and their thoughts about the world around them. It was interesting to see what things stuck with them when they recounted their days. They were full of questions and Emily always patiently answered them. They were so curious and sweet. Emily couldn't believe that there had been a time when they hadn't been a part of her life. Though being a mother was tough, it provided Emily with consistent happiness and fulfillment through some of her toughest times the last few years.
When they finished eating the girls wondered around the house while Emily sat with her mother. They came back to the table periodically, but they were clearly too hyped up on sugar to sit still. She updated her Mom on some of the happenings in her life, but tried to keep it light. She felt like she was lying to her by leaving out Alison. Lily and Grace were one thing, because they were children, but she'd been very opened with her mother the last few years. It was part of what made their relationship so strong.
"I have something for you," Pan stood up and walked towards a closed drawer.
Emily squinted at her mother. "I told you not to get me anything. You do enough."
Pam rolled her eyes with a chuckle and a shrug. She turned around with a small wrapped box and walked back toward Emily and handed it to her.
"What is it?" Emily inspected the wrapping paper.
"If you open it you'll find out."
She eyed the small box again and gingerly unwrapped it. Pam stood next to her with a soft smile on her face as Emily shed the paper to reveal a closed jewelry box. She looked back up at her mother for a moment. Emily had never been big on jewelry, especially expensive jewelry. She hoped that her Mother hadn't spent too much money on her. She opened the box to reveal a set a diamond earrings. They were small, but had a classic feel. They were beautiful.
"You did not have to buy me something like this," she said in awe.
"I didn't exactly buy them..." Pam sat down in the chair next to her and ran her hand softly over the box. "Those were a gift to me from your father on my thirtieth birthday."
Emily shot her head up and looked at her mother with wide eyes. From her dad?! Her heart leaped in her chest. No way could she accept these. They must be sentimental for her mother.
"You know we didn't have much money when we got married, but I had always wanted a pair of diamond earrings," Pam told her daughter. "We saved our money, but then we bought a house... and then you came along. Your father must have saved on his own because he surprised me with these on my birthday." She smiled at the memory.
Emily raised her brows. "There's no way I can accept these, Mom."
Pam shook her head. "I want you to have them. Your father and I..." she paused and took a breath. It was hard for both of them sometimes to talk about Wayne. They both missed him so much. "We talked about getting you a pair too on this birthday. I didn't want to buy another set without him though. So these are a gift from both of us."
She smiled at her daughter and Emily could see a tiny bit of moisture in her eyes. She set the box down and moved from her seat to give her Mom a big hug. Having a gift from her father meant so much to her.
"He would be so proud of you, honey." Pam whispered into the hug.
Her father was gone, but he was still always in both of their minds when they were together. They didn't always talk about it, but they knew.
She missed her father tremendously. He was gone from the house for so much of her life because he worked in the Army, but he had always done his best to be there for his family. Growing up, she'd always felt closer to her father. He had always pushed her to be the best version of herself and when she'd come out he accepted her when her mother initially hadn't. Over the years after suffering through his loss, Emily found that relationship with her mother. She wished that her Dad was still here too, though. She wished that he could see her daughters. She wished that she could just talk to him- especially now that she was struggling with hiding her relationship from her mother.
She felt another wave of guilt. She needed to come clean to her Mom about her relationship. She looked at the earrings again. It made her feel like a terrible daughter. She almost blurted it out, but held back at the last minute. She and Alison were a team. She needed to consult her and make sure the blonde was on board with it.
Back in Rosemont, Alison tried to busy herself around the house. She didn't really have anything on her schedule for the rest of the day. Normally, she'd have the twins by herself or be hanging out at the house with the twins and Emily. She didn't even have an work to catch up on because her students were only a couple of days away from Thanksgiving break. She laid on the couch and relaxed for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening and tried not to sulk at missing the brunette as much as she did.
Around eight, she finally got a text from Emily. It was a photo that was taken earlier in the day while she and the twins were at Pam's house. In the photo, Emily was smiling in front of her cake with one twin on either side of her sticking their tongues out at the camera. The cake had blue icing and it was clear from the little girls' blue tongues that they had gotten into the icing before the photo was taken.
Thing 1 and Thing 2 are ready for bed if you're free to talk.
It had been fitting that the girls had dressed up as the Dr Seuss characters for Halloween a few weeks ago because so many people already referred to them that way.
Alison zoomed in on several parts of the picture, taking extra time to stare at Emily's face. God, she missed her already. She wondered if it was pathetic, given that the brunette had only been gone several hours. She decided that she didn't care. She switched the from her messaging app to call Emily so that she could wish the twins goodnight.
After the girls went to sleep, she talked to Emily for a little bit on the phone, just the two of them. Hearing the brunette's voice made her less bummed out about not being together tonight. If they couldn't be together physically, at least they could talk to one another.
She listened to Emily tell her about the rest of her day with Pam and the twins. Emily told her about the gift from her mother. It made Alison smile to know that Emily was happy. "So all in all a good birthday?" She asked.
"The best." Emily said. Her tone had been serious, and Alison could tell the implication that their time together had been a part of it.
"I miss you," Alison confessed in a low voice. She wished that she was in Rosewood, back in the house with Emily and the twins. Not in her apartment all alone in Rosemont. "I wish that we were together right now."
Emily sighed on the other line. "Me too, Ali." For as hard as it was to be the primary parent to their daughters during the week, Emily knew that Alison got lonely and sad being alone in her apartment. Lily and Grace kept Emily on her toes, they kept her on routine, and were her reason for getting out of bed. "Soon, though."
"Yeah... just a couple of days until Thanksgiving."
"Right, but I mean in general." They hadn't talked about Alison moving back in yet. Both girls knew that wasn't in the cards. It was too soon. They had only been back together for a few months and they wanted to make sure that things were solid before introducing a major change into Lily and Grace's lives. They needed more time and there were several more hurdles that they needed to get over. There was one that had been her mind for a few hours now, though.
The line was quiet for a moment, and Emily took advantage of the silence. "I think we should tell my Mom that we're together."
Alison's brows shot up in surprise on the other side of the phone. Emily hadn't hinted that she was even considering telling Pam about their relationship any time soon.
Honestly, the idea of it terrified her. She and Pam had kept a light, amicable relationship for the past year, but she knew that underneath the surface the older woman didn't completely trust her. She didn't blame her. No matter the details, she'd broken Emily's heart when they separated. That meant that she'd broken her promise to Pam too. Despite the friendliness and conversations, she knew that the older woman hadn't forgotten.
Telling their friends was one thing. She could handle Spencer and Hanna. Pam was a totally different ball game.
She also knew that keeping their relationship under wraps was weighing on Emily. The brunette had initially been nervous about their friend's reactions, but since they had told them, it was obvious that she felt happier and more comfortable. Emily had never really been one to hide her relationships. She'd spent years not being her true self, and once she had come out she didn't want to hide anymore. Emily had told her that secret relationships were something that she'd never really put up with in her dating history.
For Alison, it was the opposite. She'd spent her whole life having secret relationships that other people didn't know about. When she was younger, she had gotten a thrill over sneaking around with older boys. Later, she'd dating Elliott under wraps for plenty of time to be comfortable with a secret relationship out of necessity. Right now, she didn't love hiding her relationship from other people, but it also didn't bother her as much as it did Emily. She knew that it wasn't fair to ask Emily to keep their relationship hidden from her mother, but the idea of being rejected by Pam made her feel resistant.
"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Alison asked.
Emily twisted her lips on the other end. She'd kind of thought that Alison would be agreeable to doing this. She'd been a few steps ahead of Emily in each part of their relationship so far.
"I mean, I'm nervous, but I think that ultimately it's a good idea, yeah." The brunette shrugged.
Alison stayed quiet on the other line. She didn't want to object to the idea outright. That wouldn't be fair.
Emily waited for the blonde to say something, but she didn't respond. She took a breath before speaking. She didn't want this to be a fight. She mentally told herself not to get annoyed or insecure. She needed to hear out Alison's side and make sure that the blonde was opened with her.
"I guess you don't agree?" She deducted. She tried to make sure that she kept her voice perfectly measured. Both girls were aware that their attitudes tended to slip into their voices and it was something that they'd both worked on. She tried to make sure that she sounded more curious than accusatory.
Alison sighed on the other end. She knew that they would need to tell Pam eventually, so it wasn't that that she necessarily disagreed. "I'm just scared." She told Emily honestly.
"Of what?" Emily asked. She pinched her brows together. Shouldn't she be the one that was scared here?
Alison didn't answer right away. She was scared of a lot of things. Despite having an idea of how Pam probably felt, Alison knew that it would hit her harder when she confirmed the truth. She was scared of the rejection and she was scared that it would affect her relationship with Emily. Their friends disapproving of their relationship was something that they could weather, but Emily was so close to her mother and Pam was so heavily involved in their lives. She worried that this could break them.
"What will happen to us when she doesn't approve." Alison told her lowly.
Emily wanted to disagree. She wanted to tell her that she didn't know for a fact that her mother wouldn't approve. But that would be a lie. She was almost certain that there would be some kind of objection. The difference was that she wasn't afraid of it. She'd been thinking a lot that night about the last time that she'd told her mother that she was seeing Ali. It was a day that she'd dropped multiple bombshells to her mom.
Emily's mother sat across the table staring back at her, eyebrows scrunched and confusion painted all over her face. "Emily," she shook her head, "I don't understand".
Emily sighed and sat back a little in her chair. She'd called her mother earlier that morning to ask if she wanted to have a late breakfast together before she had to go into work and true to Pam Fields form, her mother had whipped up a giant breakfast for the two of them last minute.
She picked at her waffle a little and tried to decide how much detail she would need to go into with her mother. She knew that this was going to be a difficult conversation, and she wasn't totally sure that she even understood either. It was obvious how it happened- eggs got donated, eggs got stolen, eggs got fertilized and put into someone else, and voila: a baby on the way- but the AD aspect was sometimes too much for her to think about.
They'd been catching up for about an hour now and up until this point the conversation had gone smoothly. Emily knew that telling her mom that she was dating Alison was the the easy part. She knew that Pam had been aware of her feelings for the blonde over the years-at least to some capacity. She had almost just left it at that and changed the topic to Aria's wedding planning or something equally as neutral, but she knew that she couldn't put this off anymore. Ali was four months pregnant and outside of the obvious that it was getting to the point where she couldn't really hide this from Pam, she could tell that Ali was getting frustrated with Emily dragging her feet. It was one thing to have her girlfriend be mad at her, but Emily had discovered having your pregnant girlfriend mad was on another level. So here she was.
"I know it's not ideal-" she started before her mother cut in.
"Ideal? Emily you're twenty-three!" The outburst was a little but more than Emily expected from her usually calm and proper mother, but she understood. Pam had spent her whole adult life building the image of a perfect, conservative military family and everything that had taken place in the past seven years had flipped that view upside down. Still though, she knew that with the right amount of patience and convincing that she could get her mother to support her on this.
Emily kept her composure and started again, "It's not ideal, and certainly not expected, but it was the card we were given." She gave her mother a small smile and could see Pam's face begin to soften so she continued, "Besides, you and Dad weren't that much that much older when you had me."
Big mistake. Pam's face fell and she immediately went back into concerned mode. "Emily your father and I were twenty-five when we had you. He had been with the National Guard for three years and we were married!" She put emphasis on the final word causing Emily to wince slightly.
Emily stayed quiet for a minute and looked down, suddenly very fixated with the table. When she looked up, she suddenly felt nervous, but asked her mother shyly, "Who says that we won't get married someday?"
"Oh Emily," Pam sighed and reached across the table to grab her daughter's hand. "You know that isn't what I mean honey."
"I know.. but-" Emily stopped and bit her lip trying to decide the best way to phrase her question. "It isn't… it isn't Ali is it?"
Finally voicing it brought her back to her conversation with Spencer months before while they tried to build a crib on the floor of Ali's old room. Being with Alison, really doing this with her, and trusting her one hundred percent was something that Emily had never been able to do and a part of her was still a tiny bit terrified. The stakes were real now and if they screwed it up, that would be it- years spent wondering, wanting, and dreaming would finally blow up into a sad reality. It was scary, but the risk was worth it. She could tell that night that Alison was serious, no more lies. The 'I love you' was different than the any 'this is why I love you Em' or 'those kisses weren't just for practice' that Alison had ever given her. It was raw and it was real. Emily's trust in that was what she used to squash her fears and keep her walls down.
Her mother stared back at Emily and squeezed her hand. She didn't answer the question, instead she redirected, giving Emily a soft look. "I know that you really love her."
"And I really trust her too" Emily interrupted before the 'but' cames at the end of her mother's sentence and held her gaze, her expression serious, "I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't." She trusted in Alison's love for her and that was enough.
Pam nodded, "It's not that I don't trust her either. I know that people change, Emily. It's just a baby… that's a big responsibility. It's not a puppy, you know?"
Emily takes her hand back and rolls her eyes in return, "Now you sound like Spencer."
Her mother stared back at her and sighed, "I'm serious."
And Emily knew. She knew that this isn't a puppy. It's not something fun or temporary. Asking Ali to have the baby, before they were even a couple, was the biggest thing that Emily had ever asked of anyone. She had thought about it and struggled with it. She had spent an evening drinking it away, and then taken about twelve hours to sleep it off before asking.
She shook her head and brushed a hand through her hair before telling her mother firmly, "It was my idea, you know." When Pam stared back at her clearly confused, Emily elaborated, her voice more shaky this time, "To have the baby. I asked her to keep it when we found out that it wasn't hers."
Pam nodded slowly and stared at Emily for a long moment, trying to choose her words wisely. She reached back for her daughter's hand. "I didn't even know that you wanted kids, hunny."
And the truth is that Emily didn't know that she wanted kids either. She'd never given it that kind of serious thought either way. She had spent so long concentrating on swimming, and then evading A traps, and then college and her father passing away that she had never gotten a clear view of how to envision her future. When she decided to donate her eggs, she still hadn't given though to if she would actually want or have her own kids someday. It wasn't until the night that Ali got her puzzle piece that Emily had to finally consider if she actually wanted kids or what it would actually mean to let Alison go through with terminating the pregnancy.
Emily remained quiet for a moment. She nervously looked down at her lap again. When she finally spoke, her confession was the most quiet tone that she used throughout their entire conversation. "I didn't know that I did either." She looked up at her mother briefly and then back down at their linked hands and continued, "It's just… when I thought about it… that Ali was pregnant and that it was my eggs, my DNA… I just couldn't imagine her not having the baby, and me not getting the chance to raise something that was mine. This baby… it's a part of me and you, and it's a part of… it's a part of Dad too." She took a couple of breaths and finally looked back up at her mother.
Pam's lips were pressed together and Emily could see tears forming in her eyes. She nodded back at her daughter in understanding.
Emily waited a few moments and let it hang there before speaking again. "And Ali wants the baby too. We want to be a family. I really hope that you can support this because you'll be the baby's grandmother- really the baby's only grandparent. I think that's really special, Mom."
Pam gave her daughter a small smile and nodded again, clearly not able to speak just yet.
Emily could tell that her mother's initial shock would eventually fade into support for both girls and the baby. She finally felt the weight that she had been carrying on her shoulders for the past couple of months shift into relief. She had known that making this decision wouldn't just affect her and Alison, but also their friends and family too. She really believed that this would be good for her mother in the grand scheme of things. She knew the major void that her father's death had left both of them with. Having a baby, a new family member for her mother to dote on, would be good for Pam.
"Grandma. That makes me feel so... old." Pam scrunched up her nose.
"You can be called whatever you want," Emily giggled. "I promise."
It didn't all come right away, but in the months after that conversation, her mother had morphed into the biggest support system for Emily, Alison, and eventually the twins. She expected some dissent this time too, but she felt that Pam would support them.
"She wasn't on board last time right away either, but she came around," Emily spoke into the phone softly to Alison. "Remember?"
Alison nodded to herself. She remembered being stressed for weeks about keeping their relationship and the pregnancy from Emily's mom. She had actually been the one to push Emily to tell her. It had kicked off a new relationship with the older woman. It was one that Alison had treasured. She felt like she had a second mother. It had also disintegrated when she and Emily separated and Alison moved across the country. Pam didn't speak to her the entire time that she was in Beacon Heights. She had to admit, things had improved drastically since then. Maybe Pam would come around in time...
"You're right."
"Plus at least this time neither of us is pregnant," Emily said to lighten up the conversation. She was mostly joking, but the pregnancy had been the hard part of telling her mother before.
"This is true," Alison agreed. She breathed out a light laugh.
"So what do you think?" Emily asked again. She didn't want to move forward if Alison wasn't ready.
"I think... we'll have to tell her eventually. If you want to do that sooner rather than later you can do that." She wasn't going to tell Emily no, but she was fairly certain that Pam wasn't going to accept the relationship with opened arms.
"I was thinking maybe Thanksgiving?"
"Too soon." Alison shut that down. She needed a little bit of time to prepare, plus "with Aria and Jason in town and all of the craziness that would be the worst time. You should do it when it's just the two of you."
Emily nodded. She had a point. "Okay. Thank you for being on board with this."
Alison knew that she had to let Emily tell her mother on her terms when she wanted to, but she was still scared about the rejection that she knew was sure to come. She hoped that it didn't affect their relationship too negatively.
"I love you," Alison responded simply. Her relationship with Emily was making her life feel so bright lately. She'd much rather concentrate on that.
"I love you too, Ali," Emily smiled as she spoke into the phone. Her heart melted a little every time the blonde spoke those words to her.
"Three more days." Alison was already counting down until they saw each other again.
"Soon," Emily nodded. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay."
They said their goodnights and went to bed separately, an hour away from on another. They both thought of each other as they drifted off to sleep.
—
Luckily, the next few days went by quickly. Jason and Aria had called on Monday and gave Alison their travel details. They would both be in Rosewood for about a week and then they were taking Katherine to New York so that she could spend some time with Ezra and his family while the two of them took a little getaway to the Catskills.
Alison offered to have them over at the house on Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. She figured that she and Emily could let them know that they were together ahead of the holiday activities.
She wasn't particularly worried about her brother's reaction. Back before the twins were born, she remembered visiting him and telling him that she was with Emily and that she was pregnant. He'd been surprised to hear that she was dating Emily. He'd always known that they were close, but he had never put together that something romantic was between them. He supported their relationship, though. It was obvious to him how happy his sister was being with Emily. It had been the pregnancy part that he had been worried about at the time. I seemed sudden and ill thought out, but he supported that too. Ultimately, he loved being an uncle to Lily and Grace and had been there for every little milestone early on in their lives. He'd learned a lot about kids from them, and though he was a natural, it helped him when he was interacting with Aria's daughter too. Jason knew about redemption and second chances and generally wasn't one to judge.
On Wednesday evening, Jason and Aria came over just as Alison and Emily finished getting the twins settled in bed. They lit a fire in the living room and the girls all poured a glass of wine to catch up with. Aria and Jason took the news better than any of their friends had. Part of the reason was that they were around the least and hadn't really seen the fall out from the divorce first hand. They also felt more open because they had just recently rekindled their own relationship. It was a relief to get some positive feedback. One of their three friends wasn't bad. It could have worse, anyway.
Later, when Alison and Aria were in the kitchen refilling their wine glasses the blonde asked the shorter girl a question that she had been wondering for the past few months.
"So," Alison leaned her back against the counter facing Aria. She tried to hold back a smile. "Did you know that I was talking about Emily back in July?"
"Come on Ali, I'm not an idiot. I figured you weren't talking about some random stranger."
Alison nodded to herself. She felt her lips curl into a full on smile. Her dimples were evident in her cheeks as she thought back to the day that she realized that she was going to try and make things work with Emily. The day that she decided that she was going to try and fight for her happiness.
"Seems like things are going well." Aria spoke up again. "Are you glad that you went for it?"
"Definitely," Alison nodded, smile still on her face.
They shared a look. One that said that they were both happy with the decisions that they'd made and where it had taken their lives.
"What about you? Are you marrying my brother anytime soon?" Alison asked. It was mostly a joke. She knew that things were going well with Jason and Aria, but they hadn't even been together a year yet. When the brunette didn't answer, Alison's face morphed in surprise. She felt her eyes widen and her brows shoot up. "Wait, did you two get married?"
"No- No." Aria waved off the outburst. She pursed her lips and tiled her head a little. "Maybe... soon though."
"Seriously!?"
The brunette laughed and shrugged. "We haven't exactly made plans or anything... but I would, yeah."
Alison took a breath and shook her head in disbelief. She was happy for them but still thought it was so unexpected that they'd gotten together. She smiled at the idea of her brother getting married. At least it was something that she liked. The blonde nodded to her friend in approval.
"What about you guys?" Aria asked.
"I mean… we haven't talked about that." They'd already had one wedding. Would they actually even go through the trouble of having another someday? It seemed strange to have a second wedding to someone after you divorced them. Then again Aria's parents had done it. "We're both serious about this. We're taking it slow though. Making sure we get it right." It was so important to both her and Emily. They had put in a lot of work, but it had paid off. They wanted each other so badly that they were willing to do whatever it took and they hadn't hit any major roadblocks yet.
"I think you will," Aria told her sweetly. Alison wanted to laugh. This was the first time that Aria had seen them since they'd gotten back together. She couldn't know that for sure. The vote of confidence was nice, though. Aria always did have a bit of a dreamer's outlook.
"Hey," Aria redirected, suddenly remembering something. "How is your writing going?"
Alison had started doing creative writing in her spare time since she'd been back in Rosewood. It hadn't been much at first, but while she was visiting Jason and Aria in Bolivia she had some time to organize her thoughts. She'd mentioned it to Aria and the brunette told her that she should consider writing a novel of some kind. She'd offered to read some of it, but Alison hadn't been ready to share. It had felt incomplete, like some aspect was missing in it.
Lately, she'd been more inspired than ever, and she found herself staying up late some nights typing as fast as she could to get the words from her head and onto the page.
"It's good. Maybe not the next great American novel just yet, but I think I might have something special."
"Does that mean I get to read some?"
"I don't think I'm ready to share it just yet..." A lot of what she was writing felt personal. She wasn't sure if she would be able to share it with anyone let alone ever publish it to the world.
"Maybe someday," Aria smiled. She shared a very small percentage of her own writing with other people. Of course, that percentage had wound up getting published and ended up on screen. She understood that some writing was private, though.
After Aria and Jason left, Alison and Emily were alone for the first time that night.
Alison locked the front door and walked into the kitchen where Emily was rinsing the glasses in the sink. She wrapped an arm around the brunette from the back and buried her face between her neck and shoulder. "Finally," she mumbled.
Emily felt herself giggle at the blonde's annoyed tone. "Weren't you happy to see your brother?" She asked in a teasing tone. She knew that the answer was yes, but that Alison wouldn't admit that right now. She felt the same way. She was happy to see their guests, but she'd really wanted to spend the night alone with Alison. Now it was late and they would need to go to bed soon.
The blonde just buried her face further and grumbled. She'd been craving alone time with Emily again since the brunette had left her apartment on Sunday.
Emily turned around so that her back was against the counter. She reached for the blonde and pulled her into her front, wrapping her arms tightly around for a hug. She kissed the top of her head. "I missed you," she told Alison sweetly. She knew that would cheer her up.
Alison felt herself smiling at the words, but she kept her face pressed into the brunette and continued her frustrated act. "I missed you too," she mumbled.
"Hey." Emily leaned back so that she could see Alison's face. "Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Be excited."
Alison pinched her brows. "Why? I don't even like turkey."
Emily chuckled. She knew that. "Well maybe we'll get lucky and we can get the girls to bed early. They say too much turkey can put you to sleep."
"That's a myth, Em." Alison rolled her eyes.
"No, seriously. They say that the tryptophan in the turkey makes you tired." She'd definitely heard that a million times.
"There's more tryptophan in chicken than turkey." Alison cracked a smile.
"Oh… well then."
"But maybe we can make sure they get to bed early anyway." Alison said hopefully.
"Yes, please…" Emily leaned down and pecked her lips.
They went to bed shortly after that. They both planned to get up early and start making the dishes that they had planned to bring to the meal. Emily had volunteered to make her mother's green bean casserole recipe, but honestly she had no idea how to make it. She was banking on Alison being kind enough to help her.
The next day, they were able to get the food made and get Lily and Grace dressed up and ready to go. It was a full house at the Montgomery's this year. It seemed like each year the group got bigger and bigger. Part of the reason was that there were now children running around everywhere. As usual, Lily, Grace, Aidan, Katherine, and Ava were all the stars of the day with all of the grandparents fawning over them at every turn.
Once they arrived and got settled, they mingled with the rest of the guests. It was always a treat to have everyone in one place. Emily and Hanna stood together by themselves. They scanned the room and chatted together, catching up.
"So how was your birthday?" Hanna asked. Usually she would have stopped by to wish Emily a happy birthday but between Emily going to Rosemont and Thanksgiving coming up Hanna hadn't been able to talk to her aside from calling to send her a birthday greeting.
Emily smiled subconsciously at the mention. "It was really good," she nodded.
"Bet the sexy red outfit had nothing to do with that," Hanna grinned.
Emily felt her head snap over at Hanna. She narrowed her eyes. "How did you know about that?"
Hanna snorted a laugh. "I gave her the seal of approval. There were a few good choices."
"So you got to see it before me?" Emily felt jealous for a split second before she realized that it was just Hanna. Then she wondered, "There's other outfits?" The idea that Alison had more tricks up her sleeve was enticing to Emily.
Hanna shrugged, feigning ignorance. It had only been about a month since Hanna had found out that Emily and Alison were together, but it seemed like the other blonde was indeed coming around to the idea. She didn't outright say it, but Emily could sense a shift in her demeanor. She was thankful for it.
She talked to Toby a little bit later. He jabbed her lightly in the rib when they were alone. "I can't believe you didn't tell me that you got your girl back!" He quietly joked.
Emily realized that Spencer had probably mentioned something to him. "Sorry, it's not really out in the opened yet. It's only been a couple of months." She told him.
"A couple of months! Come on Em…" He did his best to look hurt, though Emily knew that he was just kidding.
"What do you think?" Emily asked curiously.
Toby faced her. "I'm happy for you of course." He said, looking confused at the question.
Emily breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay, good."
"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked.
"I don't know," Emily shook her head lightly with a smile. "Hanna and Spencer weren't exactly happy about it."
Toby laughed out loud. "You were worried about Spencer? Seriously?"
It felt dumb now to be worried about what her friends thought about her relationship. The truth was even if they had outwardly told her that they didn't approve, Emily still would pursue Alison. This was the happiest that she had felt in years and she didn't want to lose it.
"I just didn't want to tiptoe around her and Hanna. I just wanted to be supported by them." She told him.
"Em, they support you. Spencer loves you both and wants you guys to be happy."
"I know." She smiled. Toby had always been such a good shoulder to rest her head on. She wondered if they ever would have dated in a different universe. She was grateful for his friendship. It was definitely a nice change of pace from from all of the girls sometimes.
The confidence that she was building in her relationship made her think that the decision to open up to her mother about it was the right one. She watched her mother across the table during the meal. Pam was in high spirits, animatedly talking to Ella and Ashley. She wondered if maybe she would even just tell her mother later that night.
That idea quickly went crashing down about an hour later.
Towards the end of the meal the kids started to get antsy, so the girls all decided to take them on a walk. The weather wasn't terribly cold and they figured that it would be helpful too walk off the huge meal they'd just eaten. The parents had offered to clean up while they went and the large group left the house. They'd just gotten to the bottom of the Montgomery's driveway when Lily stopped dead in her tracks.
"I forgot my hat!" She exclaimed, covering her ears from the wind.
Emily glanced at Alison. It really wasn't windy and honestly the kid would be fine, but they knew how this kind of thing went. It was easier just to grab it than listen to whining for the next thirty minutes.
"Where is it?" Emily asked Lily.
The little girl's brows shot up, taken off guard. "I don't know..."
Emily shook her head. "Okay you guys go," she told the group. "I'll catch up."
The adults and the kids turned to keep walking down the driveway and Emily jogged back into the house. She checked a few places where she thought it might be, but couldn't find it. She heard her mother and Mrs. Montgomery in the kitchen, so she turned in that direction to check if they'd seen it recently.
She stopped in her tracks outside of the doorway when she heard her name. She stayed out of sight as she listened in.
"Emily and Alison seem to be on good terms," Ella commented to Pam.
"I think they are. They're really trying to make sure that they're putting the twins first."
"Of course they are." Emily heard one of them pop opened another bottle of wine. "But maybe a little bit better terms than just coparenting?" Ella suggested softly.
"What do you mean?" Pam asked.
"Maybe they'll get back together." Ella told her.
Emily felt a rush of hot guilt run through her. Were she and Alison obvious today? Had Aria said something to Ella?
Pam snorted at the suggestion. "Yeah, I don't see that happening."
"Why not? Sometimes divorced couples get past their difference. Just look at Byron and I."
"No. They won't make that mistake again. They're better off as friends."
Emily's guilt turned to defensiveness at her mother's comment. Better off as friends? Didn't she realize how in love Emily had been with the blonde when they were together? Those feelings didn't just go away. Being Alison's friend after their breakup had been one of the biggest challenges of her adult life. She felt her face tense up and her brows pinch together.
"Oh come on. Wouldn't it be nice if they could work it out?"
It was evident that Aria's mom had drank her share of the wine. She had a dream like hopefulness in her voice that Emily had heard plenty of times in Aria. She heard movement coming near her and spun around quickly to see who it was. Alison peered at her curiously and walked up behind her to listen to what Emily was eavesdropping on.
"Let's not go there," Pam shut the idea down.
"Do you not trust Ali?" Ella asked.
Alison looked at Emily, a little alarmed at the realization of what the two moms were talking about.
"Partially." Pam answered. "Don't get me wrong. She's a great mother, but she hasn't been a great significant other."
Emily looked over at the blonde. Her shoulders hunched slightly and she looked down at the floor.
"I trust her just fine with my granddaughters," Pam continued with a chuckle, "but not with Emily."
"Well hopefully Jason is better with Aria," Ella said.
Emily had heard enough. This wasn't good for either of them to hear and she inwardly kicked herself for lingering around in the first place. She put her arm on Alison's shoulder and guided her back towards the door. She heard Alison mumble something and she stopped.
"What?"
"I said, that the hat was in her coat pocket."
"Oh…"
"Come on," Alison said quietly, "they're waiting."
Emily wanted to tell her to wait because maybe they should talk about this. She wanted to tell the blonde that her mother didn't know what she was talking about, but she knew that Alison wouldn't listen to her right now. Hearing the conversation had also got into her head too. She really felt like she was ready to talk to her mother about her relationship. Throughout the last year, her mother had made several comments that made her think that she wouldn't mind seeing them together again. This was actually the first time that she'd heard her mother say anything bad about the blonde since she'd been back in Pennsylvania. This was a setback. Now that she knew where her mom stood, she didn't want to start the conversation and have to hear this again. She trudged behind Alison. Neither of them mentioned what the heard for the duration of the walk. They both were deep into their own thoughts.
Alison hadn't been quite as surprised as Emily to hear Pam speak her opinion. Though the other woman had been nice and cordial to her in the past year, she knew that it didn't erase the past. She knew that Pam blamed her for the divorce and whether or not it actually was Alison's fault, she had still left. She was trying to be a better girlfriend to Emily- a better partner in general. Their lack of communication had prevented both of them from being totally there for each other before. She felt like things were different now, but the words still stung nonetheless.
When they returned from the walk, most of the guests were packing up to get going. Emily followed the lead, eager to get out of dodge. She walked into the kitchen to grab the baking pan she'd brought.
"Want some pie to take home?"
She turned and saw her mother looking at her holding the pie out. It was hard to look her in the eye. She was mad, though she knew that she couldn't be upset with her mother for having an opinion. It was her right. Emily just didn't like her opinion.
"No," she shook her head, "we're good."
"Oh Emily, stop being so strict with the sugar. Or if you don't give it to the twins you and Alison can enjoy it. She's staying the night, right?"
"She is. And I said no thanks. We're good." She kept it short. A part of her didn't trust herself that she wouldn't just blurt out her mom that she'd overheard her talking earlier.
"Suit yourself." Pam chuckled.
"I will. Happy Thanksgiving." She gave her mother a quick hug. She was starting to feel suffocated. She wasn't sure if she actually wanted to talk to Alison either, but she knew that she couldn't stay here any longer. She went to find Ali and the twins so that they could leave.
—
They both avoided the topic when they got home, partially because they didn't want their daughters overhearing anything. It was clear, though, that their moods had gone from jovial holiday celebration to a little bit down in the dumps.
The twins were tired out early that night, which they'd both originally been hopeful for. It had been a long day full of time with friends and a huge meal. Emily and Alison put them to bed together. They lingered in the hallway upstairs after the twins fell asleep.
Emily faced Alison as she leaned one shoulder against the wall and crossed her arms. She inhaled and then let out a deep exhale. Alison had her back pressed against the wall and her face turned towards Emily. Her arms were folded in a mirror of the brunette's stance.
"Should we talk about it?" Emily asked.
"Talk about what?" Alison volleyed back. It was a robotic answer that tumbled from her lips before she even had a chance to think about the question. When she stopped and took a moment she realized that she couldn't do that. She wasn't going to let herself push Emily away as she had in the past. She noticed Emily lean her head against the wall wordlessly.
"I'm sorry," Alison reached for her arm and apologized. "Yes, we should talk about it, but I'm not sure what I want to say."
Emily pressed her lips together. She lifted her head off the wall and nodded. "Me either," she exhaled.
"Are you upset?" Alison asked. She looked into Emily's eyes and she knew the answer. They looked darker than usual and her gaze felt father away.
"I just wish that I hadn't heard that. It makes me feel bad that you did too." Alison's brother had accepted the relationship last night with open arms. Hearing her mother be so dismissive of it, even if she was speaking in confidence and hypotheticals, had really made Emily feel like crap.
Alison dropped her hand and shrugged her shoulders. "I wasn't surprised by anything that I heard..."
"I was." Emily told her.
"Em, come on," Alison shook her head. "She wasn't harsh. What she said was true."
"You think we're better off as friends?" Emily asked her, feeling incredulous.
"Well not that part." She smiled. "Or the part about getting married being a mistake." She felt very strongly about that. Her father had referred to her marriage that same way when she met with him. He'd called it a mistake. Even knowing how things turned out, she would still marry Emily again. The mistake was not taking care of themselves first before they tried to be together.
"I've never felt like being with you was a mistake." Emily agreed.
"I haven't either," Alison smiled briefly. "But you have to admit... she was right. I wasn't always the best partner to you." Time and space had shown her that. Even at the time, she knew that she was screwing up, but didn't know how to change herself. It was different now. She knew what Emily needed and she'd been working hard to make sure that she was always trying to give that to her.
"It wasn't just you, though. I wasn't perfect either."
Alison nodded. She didn't want to confirm it and rehash their past. They both had been working on themselves. "I'm just saying, you can't blame her. It was hard to hear, but I expected it."
"Well I didn't. She's been so supportive of everything lately," Emily shook her head and ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "I just hoped..." She sighed as she trailed off.
Alison grinned despite the brunette's frustration. She reached out and uncrossed Emily's stiffly folded arms. She pulled her into a hug. "That's why I love you."
Emily embraced the contact and wrapped her arms around the blonde. "Because I always think that things are going to go my way?" She joked.
"No, because you always see the best in people." She leaned back and sought out the other woman's dark eyes. "You see the best in me. Even when I don't give you a reason to. You always have."
It was true, but the reason was because Alison had shown her who she could be. Even when they were young, Alison showed Emily a side of her that she hadn't shown anyone else. Now, years later after a decade of complicated history, Emily still saw the best in her.
"You give me plenty of reasons to see the best in you," Emily told her. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against the blonde's lips.
Alison stared into her eyes when she pulled away. She could see that Emily was still feeling sad, but somehow through all of that she was making her feel incredibly loved.
"Should we get ready for bed?" Emily asked, breaking up the moment.
Alison nodded. She turned and headed for the staircase so that she could go to the guest room. She turned her head one last time to look at Emily before she descended the stairs. The brunette met her gaze and gave her a small smile. It felt like things were okay. She hoped that they would be alright.
—
Alison changed into her pajamas, a simple pair of silk sleeping shorts with a tank top, and climbed into bed. She and Emily hadn't discussed if Emily was going to come downstairs with her, but it was early enough that she had figured that the brunette would. She waited about twenty minutes, but didn't hear any movement from the stairs. Maybe Emily wanted a little bit of time to herself. Alison was a little bit bummed, but she understood. She rolled over, putting her back to the entryway and closed her eyes. Hopefully they could just get a good night sleep, put the day behind them, and move forward tomorrow.
A few minutes later, Alison fluttered her eyes opened when she sensed movement downstairs. She heard the door open and the lock switch behind it. She didn't roll over right away. There was a split second when her heart slammed in her chest and the memories of the past worries about A came rushing back.
It subsided quickly, though, when she felt the other side of the bed dip and she recognized the familiar scent of the lotion that Emily always put on before bedtime. The brunette slipped under the covers and cuddled close to Alison, wrapping and arm around her tightly. She nuzzled her nose against her neck and placed a delicate kiss behind the blonde's ear.
"Mmm." Alison closed her eyes again at the feeling. She tilted her head slightly to give Emily extra access to her neck and pushed the backside of her body closer against the other woman's. "I didn't think you were going to come down."
"I'm sorry. I just needed a few minutes to think."
"What were you thinking about?" Alison asked quietly.
"You," Emily answered. She tightened her hold around the blonde's middle.
"What about me?"
Emily nuzzled her face back into her. "I just wanted to be with you." Her hand that was wrapped around Alison slipped down to her pajama bottoms. "I wanted to feel you."
Alison bit her bottom lip as she felt a jolt of heat travel south from her chest to her center. It was amazing how quickly her body reacted to Emily's. It always had.
"Is this okay?" Emily whispered softly in her ear as her fingers dance under the waistband.
She felt a rush of air leave her lungs. She would always want Emily. It didn't even feel like a question. She knew that once Emily felt her she would know just how badly she wanted her. "Yes," she whispered back in a rush. She turned her head slightly and their lips met briefly.
Emily ducked her head back down towards Alison's neck when they parted. She let her hand run over the soft skin of the the blonde's stomach before sliding underneath her pajamas. She traced the the shape of Alison's underwear a few times, trying to imagine what the looked like, before moving her hand to move underneath them. She took two fingers and ran them slowly through Alison's folds.
She could feel the other girl's wetness and it spurred her movements on. She pushed her face into the blonde's skin and mewled quietly at the feeling.
Alison reached her arm around trying to get between them to give Emily the same sensation that she was feeling, but the brunette closed the gap between them.
Emily shuffled closer to her. "I just want you to feel good." She told her. She knew that her body would react within a second of Alison touching her and she didn't want to manage both feelings. She felt terrible about what they had heard at Thanksgiving. She didn't want Alison to feel bad. If she did Emily wanted to make her feel better.
Alison moved her arm back around and concentrated on the feeling of Emily's fingers. The brunette dipped a single digit in her before before sliding it back through and circling her sensitive bundle. Alison felt herself let out a shakey breath at the movement.
After a few moments, Emily dipped her fingers lower again and pushed both inside of the blonde slowly, but deliberately. Emily moved her fingers rhythmically inside of her. It didn't take long for Alison to lose herself in the pleasure of it all. She reached with the hand that had been trying to get to Emily earlier and wrapped her fingers around the brunette's arm in an effort to ground herself. She was aware of where they were and knew that she had to be quiet. It wasn't easy, though, and feeling Emily's arm moving underneath underneath her fingertips as she worked inside of her only made her more dizzy.
Emily adjusted her hand slightly so that her palm made contact with Alison's clit as she slid her fingers in deeper. The blonde let out a small whine at the feeling before she could stop herself. She was getting close.
"Shh," Emily whispered in an attempt to remind her where they were.
Alison felt Emily's breath tickle the tiny hairs around around her ear. She felt the heated pressure building on her core. A few seconds later, the brunette curled her fingers inside of her and she felt herself hit her high. She turned her face into the pillow as she let out several moans, trying to muffle the sound. Emily continued to move her fingers slowly while Alison rose it out.
Eventually, Alison lifted her head as she started to come down. She was out of breath, still gripping Emily's arm like a lifeline. Emily withdrew her fingers and dragged them back up Alison's stomach, letting the wetness leave a trail. Emily snuggled back into her.
"I love you," Emily told her, kissing her cheek. She let her lips linger for an extra moment.
Alison's heart beat rapidly and she closed her eyes, letting herself appreciate the moment of bliss. "I love you too," she smiled to herself.
They laid that way for another few minutes, both just enjoying the feeling of being together before Alison spoke up again. "We're going to be okay."
"I know," Emily replied. "I'm just not saying anything to my Mom about us anytime soon."
"Em-" Alison started, sitting up a little.
Emily lightly pulled her back down next to her. "I just want to be happy. I don't want anyone raining in my parade right now." That was what she had decided when she was alone before coming downstairs. She and Alison were happy together. They were rebuilding their future. If she knew that telling her mom would bring in negativity, she was going to just side step that for now.
She had Alison pulled close to her. She could feel the other girl's heart beating underneath her hand. She didn't want to be anywhere else. "We're going to be okay," Emily repeated softly.
And Alison believed her. The brunette had taken what could have been a tough night full of uncertainty and given her reassurance. She fell asleep that night feeling loved by the one person that she wanted it from the most.
—
A/N - Ah, skeptical Pam almost ruining Thanksgiving! Writing Pam and Ella made me think of Nia and Holly on the PLL Wine Moms podcast. I can't believe I got pulled into another PLL podcast. Shameless plug for them though because I have really been enjoying it. You should check it out if you have the time.
Hope everyone is doing okay! Glad to see you're still reading this story. I love your feedback. I have some ideas for where I want to go with fic after this story and I'd like to write more. I have some other Emison related things saved on my computer as well as some other ideas. Ya'll have given me the confidence to post and I so appreciate that. I'll try to get the next update out soon. Take care!