A/N - Seriously, the people that continue to read and leave nice comments deserve all the gold stars in the world. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all! My life has been the busiest that it has been all year and the constant cheerleading that I get in the comments has been pushing me to get these chapters out. Seriously, today I literally finished editing the back half of this chapter between appointments at work.
I apologize for the long wait, but thank you so much for hanging in there. This is one of the longest chapters in the story. Hope you enjoy!
—
Alison drove back to the house in Rosewood the day after Christmas just as she had promised. She'd gotten up early that morning, ready to get out of her bed and start the day. She hadn't gotten much rest the previous night. She blamed it on the bed being uncomfortable, but there was more to it than that. It just didn't feel like it was hers anymore. The guest room bed in Rosewood wasn't any more or less comfortable than the bed at her apartment, but it felt more like home lately. She rolled out of bed as soon as she woke up and made a beeline for the shower. She took her time and let the steam and hot water rinse away any kind of bad memories from the previous day.
And there were plenty of those.
But there were also plenty of happy memories too. She chose to focus on the good times that she had with her family before the drama bubble had burst.
After her shower, she got dressed and made her way into her small kitchen. In keeping with her morning routine, she made some coffee for herself and lingered around the kitchen while she waited on it. Her eyes had fallen onto her gift that she'd received from Emily the previous day. She ran her hands across the soft pink leather of the cover. She really loved it, and it made her chest feel warm at the thought of Emily picking it out and thinking of her. Before she knew it, she had opened the notebook and started to write. By nine in the morning, she had finished her second cup of coffee and completed about ten handwritten pages. She closed the book and smiled at her work. She made moves to go get changed and got ready to leave. She was ready to see her girls. All three of them.
When she let herself in to house, Lily and Grace greeted her in the foyer. "You're home, Mommy." Grace smiled up at her as she hugged the blonde's waist.
She patted the top of her daughter's head, where her usually soft brown hair was pulled into a messy updo. "Yeah, I'm home sweetie," She smiled.
The girls went about their business, which today apparently included tearing through the house and dragging their new toys into every which corner. She made her way into the living room. Emily stood up from the chair that she was sitting in to greet her.
"Hey," Alison smiled. She put her things down and moved in closer to the brunette to give her a hug.
Emily hugged her tightly. Tighter than usual. Alison let herself relax in her arms. It was good to be back at the house.
"You okay?" Alison had noted that Emily was still in her pajamas and she had a tired look in her eyes. She hoped that the brunette had at least gotten some sleep last night and didn't stay awake stewing the whole time.
Emily pulled out of the hug. She ran her hand through her hair and looked around at the messy living room. "Yeah," she replied with a small, tired smile. "We've just been taking it easy this morning."
"I see that," Alison smirked. "Looks like some people here had to play with every gift from Santa before 10am."
Emily chuckled. It was true. She had let Lily and Grace have their way with their new toys that morning. Instead of asking them to put the toy that they were playing with away before getting out a new one, she just sat back and let them have fun. Part of it was that she didn't have the energy to be strict. She had spent a good portion of her night up thinking, but in the early morning hours as she was getting up, she decided that she wasn't going to let the disagreement with her mother affect what she did moving forward. She meant what she'd told the blonde. They were going to be okay.
She peered over at the things that Alison had set on the end table. She saw the writing notebook that she'd put underneath the tree and given to her yesterday. Emily could tell based on the slight creases in the cover that it had already been put to use. "It looks like the twins weren't the only ones playing with their gifts this morning," she pointed out, motioning towards the pink book.
Alison blushed a little. "I was up early and had some free time," she told Emily with a shrug. In reality, she was already looking forward to taking a pen to the paper again. She had always gotten a thrill by putting her thoughts in ink.
And she'd been more inspired than ever lately.
A loving smile formed on Emily's lips. She felt the frustrations from the previous day slip away even further. She could tell yesterday that Alison was pleased with the gift. It made her happy to see the blonde happy. It always had.
And so they moved forward. They chose to push away all of the obstacles and negativity. They chose to put their relationship and their family first and work on being the best that they could for their selves, their daughters, and each other.
They spent the days following Christmas together in the Rosewood with the twins. When New Years Eve came around, they put the twins to bed and sipped champagne together in the living room, listening to sounds of fireworks cracking outside. They toasted to a new year- a new beginning.
As January rolled in, they settled back into their routines. Emily went back work at Rosewood High and her swim team resumed practices and meets. Alison's Spring semester started the second week of the month. At the time, it felt like their staycation together as a family was ending, but the only things that really changed were Alison and Emily going back to work and the twins going back to school. Alison kept making the drives to and from Rosewood almost daily. She got in later most nights, with just a little bit of time to see the twins before bed, but it was better than spending her nights alone in Rosemont. It only took the first couple of nights in her apartment for her to realize that she didn't want to be that far away from her family all week long anymore.
Having Emily back in her life full time as more than a friend had been the piece that she was missing for the first year that she had returned from Beacon Heights. When she came back, things were okay. First off, she was happy to have just gotten the hell out of Beacon Heights alive and with some semblance of sanity. Seeing her twins regularly became the bright light in her life that provided some of her best and most happy moments. It had also been nice to be around her friends again. Being Emily's 'friend' had been hard, especially when she knew that she was dating someone else, but it was important for her to maintain their friendship. Now that she and Emily were officially back together, though, she finally felt complete again. She had not just her friend back, but also the love of her life. It even changed how she felt when she spent time with their daughters. She felt like she was fully back with her family and that they were making memories together as one, versus splitting memories with the twins like they had been.
Emily's mood had been better than ever lately as well. Alison had been a big part of that, but things got even better once the weight of graduate school decisions started easing off of her. She'd gotten an acceptance letter the first week of January from Widener and another from Drexel three days later. She was still waiting to hear from one more school, but the pressure was officially off.
She was still seeing her mother regularly because Pam picked up the girls from school and kept them until after Emily's swim practice was over. Most days, Emily picked them up before five and brought them to the house where Alison would join them shortly after. Things had stayed cordial between them. At both Alison's and Doctor B's urging, Emily let go of the anger that she'd initially had. She accepted that things would take time and didn't want to lose the relationship that she had with Pam in the meantime.
Things were looking up for her and right now there was something that she was looking forward to, giving her even more reason to be in a good mood.
"You're early," Pam noted as she checked her watch. Her voice was a touch upbeat and she had a small smile when she opened the door for Emily. It was a little strange. Emily used to just let herself into her mother's house, the home that she had grown up in, but she was still walking on some eggshells. She didn't just walk in anymore, she started to knock or ring the bell when she arrived.
"Yeah, the team had a really good practice, so I let them out early," Emily nodded with a small smile of her own.
They walked inside together in comfortable silence. Pam already knew about the grad school acceptances. She'd congratulated Emily genuinely when she shared the news. Emily could see that her mother was trying and it made her want to try too. Still though, it didn't stop her from feeling a little bit awkward at times.
They got the girls packed up and ready to go home. Luckily, it seemed like Lily and Grace were at least halfway calm instead of their normal high energy selves. She knew that Alison would be thankful for that when she got home. Emily noticed the tiredness in her eyes after a long day at the college, despite Alison usually doing her best to hide her exhaustion. Hopefully they'd be calm like this tomorrow too. Which reminded her…
"Hey, I don't think that I mentioned before, but I don't need you to get Lily and Grace from school tomorrow." She turned to her Mom as she tucked one of Lily's books into a backpack.
"No?" Pam pushed her brows together as she questioned.
"Nope, you get the day off," Emily said trying to keep it light. She'd been putting off this conversation, but now she was down to the last minute before the buzzer. "Hanna is going to get them."
"Oh…" Pam seemed a little confused, "Why is that?"
Emily took a deep breath, "She's going to keep them for the weekend."
"Where are you going to be?"
"Cape May," Emily explained, "Ali and I are going for the weekend. We'll be back on Sunday."
Pam was quiet for a moment. She pushed her lips together in thought. Emily watched her, trying to get a read on what she was thinking. "I could have kept them you know." Pam finally said. "Why didn't you ask me?"
"It's fine. Hanna kind of offered, so…" It was partially true. Hanna had offered to keep the girls, but only after Emily had told her that she really didn't want to ask her Mom.
"I see…" Pam nodded.
"Yeah," Emily mirrored her actions before picking up the twins' bags. "We should get going. Back to the normal schedule on Monday. Will that work?"
Her mother just nodded and gave her a hug. She said goodbye to her granddaughters and Emily, Lily, and Grace headed home.
Alison walked through the door about an hour after Emily had gotten in. She'd already fed the twins dinner, but had saved hers and the blonde's portions so that they could eat together. Alison rounded the corner with a bright smile just as Emily was putting the last dish in the dishwasher.
"Hey," she greeted Emily.
The brunette had been waiting for it to get old, for her heart to stop skipping around in her chest every time that she saw Ali, but it didn't. She still felt every ounce of love that she'd always had for the blonde. Even when they were divorced, it hadn't really gone away. She didn't want it to.
"Hi," Emily returned the smile and pulled Alison in when she got close enough. She felt safe in her actions because she knew that the twins were both upstairs. She had been extra careful about that kind of thing since Christmas morning.
Alison leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips. She was smiling when she pulled back.
"You're in a good mood tonight," Emily noted.
"I'm in vacation-mode."
"Lucky you. Wish I could just skip my classes tomorrow too," Emily laughed. Alison had told her students that Friday's lectures were cancelled. They were happy about it, so it was a win-win. Emily, on the other hand had to survive the school day before they left for their trip.
"It'll be 3:00 before you know it, babe." Alison walked over to the cabinet to grab some plates for them.
Emily watched her with a smile. She had been looking forward to this weekend for the last couple of weeks. After her acceptances had started to come in, Alison had suggested that they do something special together to celebrate. Emily had originally thought that she was thinking a date night, which would have been just fine, but Alison surprised her with plans to go out of town together for a whole weekend.
Which was great for Emily, because she would take any alone time that she could get with the blonde these days.
They'd had a few encounters the last few weeks, but nothing substantial. Both women were nervous that Lily and Grace might see or hear something that they shouldn't. Despite playing it off well, Christmas had made both Emily and Alison more aware of how they acted around each other. It was part of the reason that they were both looking forward to their getaway weekend.
Alison turned around and immediately cleared her throat, bringing Emily out of her thoughts.
"Busted." Alison raised her brows at the other girl, trying to hold back a smirk
Emily tried to look innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Mhm," the smirk finally made its way onto her face. She'd totally caught the other girl staring at from behind. Which was fine. Emily was her girlfriend. She wanted her to stare.
Emily shrugged, offering zero apologies. Instead, she took a few steps towards the blonde to close the distance between them. Alison reached up and rested her hands on Emily's shoulders. She closed her eyes and leaned in, preparing for a kiss. Before she could get there, though, they heard two sets of feet stomping down the stairs at high speed.
Emily quickly took two big steps back, away from the blonde. She shook her head. "Less than twenty-four hours," she sighed.
Alison wasn't sure if she was directing the words at her or to herself, but either way she agreed. She was ready for some real alone time this weekend too.
—
When the school day ended the next day, Emily practically ran out of Rosewood High to her car. The day had gone by faster than expected and now she was ready to get the weekend started. When she got home, Alison was sitting in the living room writing in her notebook, waiting with the bags.
She flipped the pink leather book closed right away. "Ready?" She asked the brunette.
They didn't waste any time at the house and hurried to get onto the road. It didn't take long to get there. It was just a two hour drive east to the New Jersey coast. Alison knew the way well so they took her car. She'd been coming to this house with her family since her childhood. She'd grown up with more happy memories in Cape May than she could count, but the Summer before she had disappeared had changed the way that she looked at the place. She spent that whole Summer trying to act like she was much older than she was. She spent her nights partying with CeCe and people who were nearly a decade older than her. She'd hooked up with beach hottie and lost her virginity, only to spend the next month convinced that she was pregnant. That was also the same Summer that the A messages started getting sent to her. It was the same Summer that she watched her mother bury her.
All of those bad memories had washed away the idyllic ones from her childhood, but she was working on letting go of that. Years ago, the Summer that she and Emily has gotten married, they'd taken the twins down to this house for a week. Lily and Grace were a little over a year old and hobbled all around in the sand on their short, clumsy legs. Alison could remember chasing Grace one afternoon. She'd finally caught her, but when she looked around, Emily and Lily were no where to be found. She finally spotted them over by the water and had an initial panic attack at the sight of her fourteen month old so close to the ocean, but Emily was with her. She was holding onto Lily's hand as the small toddler investigated the water. She remembered the happiness that she'd felt in that moment. That she was watching her wife, and she was watching her daughter, and this actually her life.
She wanted to have happy memories like that again with her family.
It had actually been her therapist who suggested that she and Emily spend the weekend there together. Alison had spent the bulk of that day's therapy session talking about her family and somehow Summers at the shore had found their way into the conversation. When she'd mentioned that she wanted to have a get away weekend with Emily, her therapist suggested going there, to Cape May. She said that they should start making new memories there together. Alison liked the idea. All that she needed to do was call her brother and have him make sure that their asshole father wasn't going to be at the beach house for any reason. After that, the plans came together quickly and easily.
They arrived just before dinner time. It gave them enough time to run to the grocery store and grab provisions for the weekend. They planned to take it easy for their first night and just make dinner at the house together. It was dark out by the time that they made it back from the store and the two women worked together to empty their grocery bags in the kitchen and get everything in the fridge.
Emily looked into the living room off of the kitchen where the large bay windows led out into the pitch black abyss that come morning would be a beautiful view of the ocean. She found herself wishing that it was summer. She would have loved for the two of them to spend a day on the beach together in their bikinis, the sun warming their bodies as they relaxed on the sand. She smiled at the thought of it. If things stayed on this path she knew that she would get her wish.
She turned back into the kitchen when she heard a loud pop. It caused her to jump slightly, but she recognized the sound.
"Cheers to you." Alison met her gaze and gave her a sweet dimpled smile. She was sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island with a champagne glass and holding another out towards Emily.
Emily walked over and accepted the glass. She shook her head, "Cheers to us," she stressed.
"We're celebrating your accomplishments, remember?" Alison returned with a slight slit of the head.
"I know, but that's not all that we're celebrating."
Alison narrowed her eyes, trying her best to look serious, but the smile that had been glued to her face just wouldn't go away. She'd meant for this weekend to be about Emily, but she understood the implication, and she wasn't opposed to celebrating their relationship and how far they had come.
"Cheers," Emily flicked her brows in victory. She clinked her glass against the blonde's and took a sip.
Alison took a quick sip, but her appetite had quickly changed from the champagne to the woman in front of her. She put her glass on the counter and reached out for Emily with both hands, pulling her closer by her sweater.
The brunette caught on and smiled just before Alison's lips came into contact with hers. She initially thought that it was just meant to be a quick kiss because they still had dinner to make and now apparently a whole bottle of champagne to drink, but the blonde's lips continued to move against her own with purpose. And that was all that it took for Emily to drop her plans. She kept their lips connected as she reached around and set her own glass down before bringing one hand against the base of Alison's neck and the other on top of her thigh.
Alison responded to the touch with with a soft moan against Emily's lips. She parted her legs, remaining seated on the barstool, and Emily moved in between them to bring their bodies closer together. Their lips moved together in sync, each minute getting quicker and progressively more frantic. Emily struggled to breathe as the kissing intensified. Their bodies were nearly flushed together and she could feel all of the heat inside of her traveling to her core. She became acutely aware of how much she wanted Alison. In the weeks that they played house over Christmas break, she'd told herself that just having the blonde with her was enough, but she wanted more then just as much as she wanted more now. She moved the hand that was on Alison's thigh and slid it up underneath the blonde's shirt. She could feel the warm skin beneath her fingers and she wanted more. Emily squeezed her skin lightly, she wanted to to touch every part of Alison. She was tired of waiting or stopping herself. She was tired of being interrupted or worried that their daughters would catch on. They were alone now, and she wanted to make the most of it.
"Em," Alison uttered breathlessly as she broke the kiss. She leaned back slightly, as if she had more to say, but she struggled to get more words out as she tried to catch her breath.
"Yeah?" She tilted her head and rested her forehead against Alison's as she struggled to control her own breathing.
"I want-" Several labored breaths came out, tickling the tiny hairs on Emily's face.
The brunette closed her eyes for a second. It felt like she was flying through space. She swore that she was able to see stars. "What do you want?" She forced her eyes back opened and pushed herself to ask.
"I want you-" The blonde sucked in another breath.
"I want you too." Emily supplied. Both of her hands moved to the top of Alison's thighs and she squeezed them lightly as she closed her eyes and pressed their lips together again firmly.
Alison whined against her lips. She reached down and found Emily's wrists. She used them for stability and pushed herself back so that she could put a few inches between hers and the brunette's lips. "I want you to take me to the bedroom," she finally got out.
Emily opened her eyes fully and leaned back to search Alison's face. Her cheeks were a light shade of pink, colored naturally from getting flushed during their encounter, and her eyes were a deep, lust-filled shade of blue. Emily didn't need to be told twice. She stepped back, lightly pulling the blonde with her, and led them down the stairs and into the large bedroom on the floor below.
—
Emily woke up several hours later. She felt chilly, and peaked open a single eye to confirm that she was naked. She smiled at the blurry sight across from her. Alison was still asleep, but her bare body just was inches away, curled up in Emily's direction. She could feel their legs tangled together under the lightweight cotton sheets and the memories of their activities came back to her. She reached out for the other girl and let her fingers run along the soft skin above Alison's hips.
Alison started to come to when she felt Emily's touch. She shivered, partially from the tickling feeling of her fingers and partially from the cool air, and blinked her eyes opened. Emily's dark eyes were warm when they met hers. She shift her body closer to the brunette.
"Cold?" Emily asked softly. When the blonde nodded in response, she reached for the sheet that had gathered around both of their waists and pulled it up higher. "Better?"
Alison smiled. She peaked open her eyes a bit wider and nodded again. "What time is it?"
Emily craned her neck to check the digital clock on the bedside table. Her eyes widened, "11:30?!" They must have been asleep for a few hours. It made sense though. They had both been exhausted by the time they were finished.
Alison chucked at the tone. "Well that explains why I'm so hungry."
"Yeah, we kind of skipped dinner..." Emily pushed her brows together and thought for a second. Her stomach had been growling too. "I'll be right back." She slipped out from under the sheets and walked upstairs in the direction of the kitchen.
Alison pouted for a moment at the loss of Emily's body from beside her. She wondered where the brunette was going. When Emily didn't come right back to bed, she settled her head back into the pillows and closed her eyes again.
She must have fallen back asleep because the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs shot her awake again. She'd always been privy to sounds in the night. She'd basically been trained since she was a teenager running from A to never let herself fall into too deep of a sleep. When her eyes came into focus, she saw Emily walking towards the bed with a plate in one hand and their abandoned champagne glasses in the other. She sat up and accepted the glass.
"What's all this?"
Emily sat back down on the bed and held out the plate to show her. There was a large waffle in it, with a fork and knife, and she'd placed strawberries and a dollop of whipped cream around the sides. "Not exactly the shrimp scampi that we were planning on, but we should still eat something." She sliced into the waffle and took a bite.
"Sooo... sex for dinner and breakfast at midnight then?" Alison asked with a wry smile. She plucked two of the strawberries and tossed one in her mouth and the other in the champagne glass. The liquid fizzed, coming back to life.
"We can have an actual breakfast in the morning when we get back up." Emily sliced another piece off and offered the fork to the blonde.
Alison accepted the piece and took it off the fork. "And more sex in the morning too," she added.
Emily actually laughed out loud at that comment. She liked it when Alison told her exactly what she wanted. After years of uncertainty, it was definitely refreshing. Plus, she had absolutely no objections to that. She leaned in and pecked the blonde's lips. She could taste some of the whipped cream from her bite of waffle. "Yeah, definitely that too."
They ate their waffle and drank their champagne before curling back up together and falling back asleep. It was nice to be together without constantly checking over their shoulders to make sure that their daughters weren't spying on them. In the last few months, most of their touches and kisses had to be reserved for after Lily and Grace had gone to bed, and it was nice to be able to do what they wanted.
The question of when and what to tell the girls had been on both of their minds. They'd tossed the question out several times recently, but neither of them had come up with a good answer. They felt good about their relationship and where it was going, but they hadn't made any specific plans. It wasn't like they sat the girls down when they were two years old and told them that they were getting a divorce. Did they even know what that was now at five?
Alison knew that she and Emily had only been back together for a few months, and she was lucky to even have this second chance at all, but she wanted more. She wanted to be a family again. She wanted to be able to call Emily her wife again. She wanted to be able to hold her hand and kiss her and not worry about who saw them. She wanted her daughters to see how much they loved each other.
But she knew that they still had a lot to sort out. They couldn't rush into things like they'd done the first time. Their decision affected a lot of other people and they needed to use good better judgement. They needed to communicate with each other and make sure that they were on the same page each step of the way. So far, they'd been pretty good at that, but there were some longer, more complex conversations that needed to take place. Conversations that they hadn't had after the girls went to sleep because they were busy cuddling on the couch. Conversations that she hoped that they might have while they were at the beach house, away from distractions.
They took it easy the next day. They didn't have any specific plans for the day and since they were awake eating waffles at midnight, they didn't have any desire to wake up early. They had morning sex, just like Alison had hoped for and after they showered, Emily made breakfast and they had their first actual meal of the weekend.
"It's quiet," Alison commented as they cleaned up their plates together.
"Thats because we don't have two kids running around," Emily made a face. "I for one am thankful for the silence."
Alison was too, but she'd had plenty of silence during her time in Beacon Heights and at her apartment in Rosemont. When the twins were born and she was scared and overwhelmed, she had been desperate for silence. She'd wanted to just stop and think. She'd wanted to think and make sure that she was setting hers and her family's lives on the right path. But now she didn't need to do any more thinking, she didn't need any more silence. She knew what she wanted.
"You don't miss them?" Alison asked.
"I didn't say that, of course I miss them." Emily gave her a soft smile before adding, "I'm just saying that we've got thirteen more years with them before we'll actually have peace and quiet like this." She motioned around the empty house.
"We only have thirteen years left?!" Alison's eyes widened.
"Only? Ali, relax." Emily laughed.
Alison wasn't sure why, but she felt a panic rising up in her chest. Despite knowing that the twins were no longer being babies anymore, she still thought of them that way. She'd always thought that once she'd got her family back she would have them forever, but time was going by quickly and it would continue to go by. She didn't want to waste any more time.
"And anyway, it's not like we'll never see them again once they go off to college," Emily continued offhand. She walked the dishes over to the sink and started to wash them off.
"Do you think they'll be mad at me?" Alison blurted.
Emily snapped her head back towards the blonde and eyed her with a confused look. She shut off the water and turned her body fully to her. "Be mad at you for what?"
"Not being around all of the time when I was in Beacon Heights." The blonde twisted her lips, thinking of her regrets about leaving and living so far from her daughters for nearly two years. Sure, she had called and visited, but there were so many firsts that she missed. It weighed heavily on her that she hadn't gotten to watch them grow. She frowned, "I'm worried that someday they might understand that I left them and that they'll hate me for it."
Emily made her way across the room. She pulled Alison into a hug. "First of all, you didn't leave them." She held the blonde close, "And second of all, they would never hate you."
"Did you hate me?" Alison asked.
Emily thought about it. "No," she shook her head. "I was heartbroken. And scared. And mad at myself too." She took a breath. "But deep down, no matter what I was feeling, I still wanted this again more than anything." She squeezed that blonde tighter and placed a kiss that crown of her head. "I wished that there was a way for things to be okay between us again."
Alison smiled into the other woman's body. God, she loved her so much. Emily had a way of making her feel confident even in her most insecure moments. She looked up at the brunette. "I wanted this too."
"And we got here. Together."
Alison nodded. "I'd say that things between us are better than just okay." She raised an eyebrow to tease Emily.
The brunette laughed. "Oh, way better than okay." She continued to hold the blonde in her arms, but walked them backwards so that Alison's back was against the counter. She ducked her head down and placed a slow kiss to Alison's lips.
And just like that, Alison's regrets and insecurities disappeared. She felt her body start to heat up with desire. "Are you going to show me how better than okay things are?" She asked.
"I was thinking so, yeah." Emily leaned in for another kiss, this one even deeper.
They wound up back in bed again, staying there this time until mid-afternoon. Eventually they forced themselves to shower. They were planning to eat in town that evening and Alison wanted to walk around and see if any of the shoppes that she liked were opened in the off-season.
Their dinner reservations were set for later in the evening, so when they returned to the house they decided to go down to the beach to pass the time. The weather wasn't terribly bad for January. It was still chilly because it was winter, but there wasn't as much wind as there usually was by the coast, and it allowed them to walk along the sand in sweatshirts. They walked together on the beach, not making much conversation, but rather just enjoying the scenery and the feeling of their hands clasped together.
Eventually, as the sun was starting to go down, they spread out a blanket and sat down together on the sand. Alison sat with her legs flat out in front of her, watching the water as the tide started to move its way up the shoreline and Emily laid on her side, elbow dug into the sand and her head resting on her palm. She watched Alison watch the water. They'd had a nice afternoon away from work, children, and any stresses of life in Rosewood. Emily could tell that Alison was content, but the blonde had been pretty quiet the last few hours. She wasn't terribly alarmed, but she wondered why. She hoped it wasn't about their conversation earlier that morning. She wanted them to look forward, not get stuck thinking about their mistakes from the past. She reached out her hand that wasn't supporting her body and ran her fingers across Alison's leg.
Alison came to attention at the touch. She looked down at Emily's hand and her lips tilted up into a smile.
Emily watched the blonde's dimples appear on her cheeks and felt reassured that things were fine. "You've been quiet today," she noted.
Alison continued to watch Emily's hand as it moved up and down her black leggings. She nodded. "I'm sorry. I think I just keep getting lost in my own thoughts."
"Anything that you want to share with the class, Professor." Emily lifted her brows somewhat jokingly. She and Alison had been good at communicating lately and she hoped that she hadn't missed anything major.
The blonde kept watching Emily's hand. She'd started tracing circles now on her knee with her index finger. After a moment, she leaned forward and took Emily's hand in her own. She tucked in her lips briefly before finding Emily's dark eyes and gazing into them with her own.
"I'm just wondering what's next," she said quietly.
Emily tilted her head as a reflex. She hadn't been expecting Alison to actually tell her what was going through her head, but she could get used to this. Alison actually opening up to her. Alison letting her in.
Emily blinked and looked down at their joined hands. "Well..." she ran her thumb over top of the back of the blonde's palm. "I got an acceptance letter from Temple yesterday."
"Wait, what?" Alison's eyes widened and her smile got bigger. That was the program that Emily had wanted to get into the most. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Emily chuckled. She'd found it in the mail when was hurrying home the previous day. She'd planned to tell Alison about it yesterday evening over dinner, but they'd gotten... distracted. "I'm telling you now." She smiled at the girl across from her. She could see how happy the news made Alison and was nice to feel supported. The blonde had really been with her every step of the way in this process.
"Yeah, but this is big!"
It was true. Emily had been ecstatic to get accepted into any program, but when she'd finished the interviewing process and evaluated the details of each program, she really felt like this was the best one for her. The only drawback was that it was the farthest into the city, meaning that her commute from Rosewood might be challenging.
"I'm excited," she nodded to confirm. "I just need to figure out all of the logistics around it."
"I told you that I'd help you." They'd already decided that when classes started next summer that Alison would be able to watch the twins because she had her summer off from Rosemont College.
"Yeah, and thank you for that. There's just some other things that I need to figure out."
"Like...?" Alison pushed her.
"Like the shitty commute," Emily told her bluntly. There was a train station near the school's campus, so in theory she could take the train everyday, but there wasn't a station in Rosewood, so that took the convenience out of it.
"We'll figure it out." Alison told her. "We've gotten pretty good at that lately."
Emily squeezed her hand. "We have," she confirmed softly. Ever since the day that Alison walked back into the house and told Emily that she still loved her, they'd taken things one step at a time and figured them out together. They'd find a way to solve any little commute issues, and Emily was so glad that she had the blonde by her side to figure them out with her.
But Alison didn't know about the letter before and Emily still wondered what was on her mind. Alison had been great about supporting her lately, but Emily wanted to make sure that the blonde knew that she had her back too.
"What about you? What's next for you?" Emily asked her gently.
Alison didn't answer right away. Instead, she looked back out at the water. She raked her other hand back and forth through the sand. Her expressive was slightly pensive as she took light breaths, in and out as she watched the waves crash.
When she finally spoke, her voice was low. She uttered a sentence so softly that the brunette was sure that she heard wrong.
"What?" Emily leaned in closer.
Alison turned towards her, cheeks slightly pink, and spoke again. Her voice was still soft, but Emily could hear her perfectly this time.
"I want another baby," she said.
Emily's brows shot up in surprise. Of all the things that she thought Alison might say to her, this wasn't even slightly on her radar. "You... want another baby?"
The blush on Alison's cheeks got noticeably darker. She nodded.
"With me?" Emily asked. They'd never talked about having more kids, even back when they were actually married.
"Well yeah, with you," Alison snorted out a laugh. It wasn't like she was planning to go pick someone off the street to have a baby with.
"I didn't know that you wanted more kids," Emily told her. The blonde had never been particularly excited during the pregnancy with the twins, but looking back, there had been plenty of reasons for that considering how it came about.
Alison shrugged a shoulder. It wasn't something that she always thought that she wanted, but she'd been thinking more and more about it lately. Whenever she pictured her future, she pictured their family. Through the last few years, even during some of her darkest times, it had been the desire for a family that got her through. She wanted to add to it and have more joy. She wanted to have control over how it happened this time. She wanted it to be her choice. Now that she and Emily were together again, she wanted that to be a part of their story. "Remember last year when I was holding Ava? How it felt to be together with a new baby?"
Emily nodded. Alison holding a baby was one of the most beautiful things that she'd ever seen. She remembered watching Alison with Ava and going back in her mind to the day that the twins were born. The negative feeling from A totally violating them had disappeared the second that they met their newborn twins. They saw that joy could come from trauma. She hadn't exactly thought about having more kids, but if Alison did, then Emily did. She wanted everything with her.
"I want that for us," Alison told her.
Emily smiled and pushed forward. She gave her a soft kiss, letting her lips linger next to the blonde's. "I want that too." She whispered, squeezing the blonde's hand again before letting the moment sit for a bit.
After a minute she spoke again, somewhat jokingly. "So are we going to just have another baby without getting married again... or do you think you can make an honest woman out of me this time?"
Alison laughed out loud. She dropped Emily's hand and shook her head at the antics. They'd done things a little bit out of order last time. She figured that the brunette was right, they should probably get married first this time around. "I'd marry you again," she confirmed.
"Yeah?" Emily grinned.
"I mean I'm not like proposing to you right now," she clarified. She wanted to actually do it the right way this time. She had plans. And they weren't going to be spoiled by her proposing in a lame pug sweater.
"Well I guess you'd need a ring for that." Emily pointed out. Her voice had an air of confidence attached to it and Alison squinted her eyes at the brunette.
Emily picked up on it. She reached into her purse and pulled out the ring that Alison had given her over four years ago. She had kept it after the divorce seeing as it was her family heirloom anyway. She'd kept it in the top drawer of her bedside table, next to her wedding ring and several other mementos that she kept tucked away. She couldn't find it in herself to put her rings in some box where she couldn't see them. It had brought her comfort always knowing where they were and being able to pull open the drawer and check on them from time to time. She sometimes wondered what Alison did with her rings, but she'd never been able to ask.
"Wait, are you proposing to me?" The blonde blurted in surprise at the sight of the ring.
"Oh-" Emily's confidence faltered a bit. She lowered the ring from where she was holding it up. "No. Not exactly...no." She could see why it looked that way though. She'd been walking around with this ring all weekend and had been waiting for the right opening to say what she wanted to say. She hadn't really considered what it would look like for her to just pull it out on the blonde.
Alison breathed a sigh of relief. If Emily proposed to her, she obviously would say yes, but she didn't feel like they were quite ready for that just yet. They still had a lot to work out to make sure that they set their relationship up for success this time. They would get there, she was sure, they just needed to keep building.
"Then why are you holding that ring out like that?" Alison chuckled a little as her heart rate settled down a bit. She softened her tone, "I didn't even know if you still had that. I thought maybe you gave it back to your Mom."
"God, no," Emily scoffed. The divorce had been such a sore subject between her and her mother early on. She wasn't sure exactly what she planned to do with the ring. Presumably she could have given it to Grace or Lily, but she didn't know if that was strange given that its history was tied with Alison. The ring was special to her though, no matter the outcome of their marriage. Lately, she'd found herself peaking in the drawer more often than usual. She'd been thinking about their relationship and where it was heading. She wanted to marry Alison again. She wanted them to take this second chance and run with it.
Emily gave a small smile and sought out Alison's eyes with her own. "I wanted to give it back to you." She saw the perplexed look on Alison's face so she clarified, "To give back to me."
Alison's eyes widened. So Emily was asking her to propose to her? Right now?
Emily could see the panic rising. She knew that she wasn't being the best with her words. She hadn't really planned this out. She put her hand on Alison's and gave it a light squeeze. "When you're ready," she said calmly to settled the blonde down.
Alison nodded and breathed out a little laugh at herself. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Emily's, long and hard. She wanted her to know that she wanted this too. She was thankful to Emily for giving her another chance. For giving them another chance.
She pulled back and held her hand out with a smile that she couldn't control. She motioned towards the ring and Emily placed it in her hand. Alison took a minute to inspect it. She remembered the way that it sat on Emily's finger so beautifully, but she never really had gotten a chance to really look at it before she gave it to the brunette. She'd wound up proposing only hours after Pam had given it to her. She was getting another chance at this too. Emily wanted her to. The idea alone made her want to melt. She probably would have had the temperature not been rapidly dropping now that the sun was going down.
She nodded at the ring and looked back up at Emily. "I think I can do that," she told her with a happy confidence.
"Good," Emily smiled back. She shifted her position on the blanket so that she could lean her whole body over Alison's. The blonde's rested her head back on the sand and put her hand behind Emily's neck, pulling her face down to meet hers.
They kissed for several minutes as the sun set and the beach got dark. Alison took in every moment, savoring the brunette who was hovering above her, and kissing her back deeply. There was a part deep down that warned her that this moment of happiness could be fleeting. It was that same part that told her that true love wasn't for someone like her. But she pushed against that part of her mind and squashed it. Moving on meant putting the past behind her. And right now, she was only looking forward.
Emily pulled her face back and Alison felt the other woman shiver. She assumed that Emily was just caught up in the moment, but when she reached forward to tuck a piece of her dark hair back, she felt how cold the other girl's ears were. She realized that Emily must have been keeping her warm with her body resting over top of hers.
"Getting cold?" Alison questioned, despite already knowing the answer.
"Yeah," Emily chuckled a little, "We should probably get to dinner."
"Or bed," Alison raised her brows.
Emily laughed out loud and shook her head. "We're not having midnight waffles again. I'm taking you out to a real dinner." They'd only been on one dinner date since getting back together, and that had been on her birthday over a month ago.
She watched Alison pouting bow her at the rebuttal. "We'll have all night together. I'll make it worth your while," Emily reassured the blonde with a wink.
"You better," Alison challenged.
She knew that Emily would, though. The bedroom was the only part of their relationship that they'd never had any problems. Throughout dinner that night, Alison felt a warm feeling in her chest and a grin constantly plastered on her face. She knew the reason. It was because she had Emily. And this was real. They had a future together. And she had a ring tucked away in her purse to prove that.
The rest of their weekend went by just as they had planned. They stayed up late together on Saturday night after dinner talking more about what they wanted. They told each other how they felt about their relationship and how much they loved one another. They showed each other how they felt well into the late night. They took the opportunity to sleep in on Sunday and had a late breakfast together. By the time that they were ready to go, it felt like the weekend had flown by.
Emily dropped Alison off at the house and the blonde headed back to Rosemont. They wanted to get back into their routines and get settled for the week ahead after having an escape of a weekend. Alison promised to come back on Tuesday night after her classes, and Emily was already counting the days.
When Emily got to Hanna's house, she was greeted at the door with enthusiastic hugs from her daughters. She had enjoyed the peace and quiet during her time away, but there was no denying that she missed her little girls. Aidan came bounding through the hallway behind the twins and followed their lead, giving Emily hugs, as Ava trotted behind the older three. The toddler was still new to walking and Emily had to catch her when her tired legs gave out as she got close. Hanna finally walked in a few seconds later. Her hair was a little messy, a rare look for the usually put together blonde. She looked like she'd just run a marathon.
Emily put Ava down and instructed the girls to go get their things. All four kids headed into the other room, leaving the two friends alone.
"That bad, huh?" Emily grimaced.
"First and last time I take on four kids." Hanna huffed.
Emily felt a little bit bad. She knew that she was asking a lot of her friend and hoped that she hadn't overstepped in asking for the favor.
Hanna seemed to notice Emily's apprehension and softened a little. "But we survived. Well mostly anyway, I need to check on Caleb. Aidan and the twins tried to tie him up after lunch and he's been hiding in the basement ever since."
Emily chuckled at the thought. Those three were trouble together, that was for sure.
"How was your trip with Ali?" Hanna's voice went up curiously as her lips curved into a teasing smile. "Spend the weekend making babies?"
"Shut up," Emily laughed out loud. Leave it to Hanna to make awkward comments any chance she had. The smile stayed on Emily's face, though. She thought about how the would make another baby. On their terms this time. She couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for their family. "It was a good weekend," she confirmed to her friend.
"I knew it," Hanna raised her brows. "You stuck me on kid duty so that you two could get it on."
"And I owe you one for that," Emily told her. "Seriously the next time that you and Caleb want to get away, you've got a kid-sitter on speed dial."
"Yeah right," Hanna snorted, "Like my Mom would let that happen. She's obsessed with Ava and Aidan."
Emily felt a pang of guilt go through her. She and Alison hadn't brought up the issue of Pam once over the weekend. They wanted it to be a happy escape. Now that they were back, though, Emily would have to face reality again. She thought back to the look that her mother had given her when she told her that Hanna was watching the kids. At first she thought it was disapproval, but looking back it might have been hurt.
It turned out that the next day when she saw her Mother, Pam wasn't holding any grudges. Emily had made sure to cut practice a few minutes short so that she could get to the house to pick the twins up right on time. When she got there, her mother kept an even, somewhat upbeat demeanor. She'd even asked Emily how the weekend went. It had caught Emily somewhat off guard, but she recovered, telling her mother that it went well and that it was nice to get out of town.
"Where is Alison tonight?" Her mother asked her curiously.
Emily checked her watch. "Probably finishing up her last class." Mondays and Wednesdays were Alison's late days this semester. The blonde planned to come back to Rosewood on Tuesday night and then again on Thursday night. Emily found herself missing her on the few nights a week that she wasn't at the house, but that wasn't something that she was quite ready to share with her mother.
Pam accepted the answer and they made small talk for a few minutes before Emily took the girls home. She took them back and made a quick dinner before relaxing for a bit before bedtime.
Back in Rosemont, Alison's night was far from relaxing. After she finished her last class, she picked up dinner for herself at a little cafe next to campus and took it home to eat. These nights in Rosemont were becoming less frequent and Alison was glad for that. Dinners without Emily and their daughters just weren't the same, and while she enjoyed catching up on her shows by herself, she'd much rather listen in on some cartoon that Lily and Grace had on.
She finished her meal and was about to open her new notebook to do some writing when she heard a knock at her door. She walked over turned the knob without checking the peephole.
When she opened it, she wished that she had checked, because she could have used some time to prepare herself. She stared at the woman across from her for a beat. Finally, she opened her mouth and spoke the same five words that she'd said to Emily in that doorway a year and a half ago.
"I know why you're here," she said.
—
A/N - Ah, remember that old cliffhanger from the prologue? It's baaaaaccck.
This chapter had a little bit of everything, so lots to unpack here. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. One more to go! Thanks again and take care of yourselves!