Chapter 4 A Day in Mourning

Touya woke groggy and disoriented. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments, trying to piece together his memories.

"How are you feeling?"

Touya tilted his head to the side and frowned at Kurama, who sat by his bed once again.

"I thought you would be watching Uraotogi's fight. That was today, wasn't it?" he said.

His mind was so foggy he could barely keep track of anything right now.

"Yes, that was today," Kurama said. "I did watch the fight. It only lasted two minutes."

Touya was silent as he let that sink in. "Wow. That's impressive."

"Yes, it was quite a sight to behold," Kurama said with a smile. The smile turned to a look of concern. "How are you feeling?"

Touya rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. "A bit groggy and disoriented."

"And your chest?" Kurama asked.

"It feels a bit stiff, but the pain is gone. The draught you gave me worked very well," Touya said.

"Very good," Kurama said. "You seem to be on the mend."

The two of them were silent for a few moments.

"Kurama?" Touya asked. Kurama looked at him. "Why…why did you save me?" The words poured out before he could stop them. "You could have just let me die. You could have gotten vengeance for what my team had done to yours. To you. It would have been easy."

"Yes," Kurama said calmly. "I could have gotten vengeance and it would have been easy. Vengeance is easy. Mercy is greater. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things I must attend to."

Before Touya could protest, he was gone. Touya closed his eyes and resisted the urge to scream. What did Kurama mean when he said 'mercy is greater'? The words made no sense at all. Hopefully when he came back, his second conversation with the red-haired demon would not be so cryptic. He allowed his body to relax and he drifted off to sleep.

He was startled when he awoke again to see Kurama sitting by his side as though he had never left. He was usually a light sleeper and woke at the slightest sound, part of his time as a Shinobi. Was it merely because he was injured that he had not woken at Kurama's reentry or was Kurama more powerful than he first thought and could evade even his strong senses? Neither thought brought him much comfort.

He and Kurama looked up as the door to the room opened and Jin came in. He stood frozen in the doorway for a few moments and then ran over to the bed and threw his arms around Touya's neck.

"Jin!" Touya gasped, not ready for Jin's full weight to be pressed against his body so forcefully; it was like running into a brick wall.

"Yer all right!" Jin said in a trembling voice. "Oh thank god! I was so worried!"

"Jin, please!" Touya wheezed, unable to bear the pressure of Jin's weight.

"Jin, perhaps you should allow Touya to breathe," Kurama said, sounding mildly amused.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Jin said.

Touya coughed as the pressure on his chest was relieved.

"Aw jeez Touya, are yeh okay?" Jin said.

"I'm fine," Touya gasped, his eyes watering.

It's not the first time I've been crushed by Jin's enthusiasm and it probably won't be the last time either, he thought.

Kurama smiled. "Well you need to rest a bit longer, Touya, but I think you should be well enough to be up and about by this afternoon."

"Really?" Touya stared at him.

Kurama nodded. "As long as you take it easy for a few days and don't overexert yourself."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure of it," Jin said with a stern look at Touya.

Kurama chuckled softly. "I am sure you will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things to take care of. I shall return later to check on you."

And with that, he left. Touya and Jin sat in silence for a while and then Touya said, "I presume we lost?"

"Yeah," Jin said.

"And Risho?" Touya asked.

"Haven't seen him," Jin said. He scowled. "I heard what he did. Bastard."

Touya closed his eyes, trying to process the news that they had failed in their mission to win the Dark Tournament and obtain the light. He opened his eyes as he felt Jin put his hand on top of his and saw Jin smiling sadly at him.

"Where do we go from here, Jin?" he whispered.

"I honestly don't know," Jin said, gently squeezing Touya's hand.

"Do you know…" Touya began after they had been quiet for a while. "Do you know what became of Gama's body?"

The words stuck in his throat because he did not want to think of Gama like that. Dead. It was such an ugly word, so final. And yet it was the reality he now had to face.

Jin shook his head. "I'm sure I can find out. Why?"

"I want to make sure he receives a proper burial like he deserves," Touya said.

Jin stared at Touya for a few moments and then gave him a sad smile. "I'll find him, I promise. You just get some rest and recover your strength."

"Okay." Touya was too tired to argue with Jin.

He closed his eyes, smiling as he felt Jin's lips press against his forehead for a light kiss, and let himself drift off to sleep again.

Soft voices woke him and he strained to hear what they were saying.

"…very generous…think about it."

"…sure…problem…wanted…offer…if you need it…"

The voices died away and Touya sighed. A few moments passed and then the door opened.

"Are ya awake?" Jin called out softly.

"Yeah," Touya said, struggling to make himself heard.

"Hey," Jin said with a smile, sitting in a chair by Touya's bed. "How ya doin'?"

Touya hated that question, but because it was Jin, he answered, "Better. Much better."

"Yer not lyin' to me to be strong?" Jin asked anxiously.

"Jin…I wouldn't…" Touya said weakly. "Not to you."

"Yeh promise?" Jin asked.

"I promise," Touya whispered.

Jin gently squeezed his hand. "I got Gama's body."

"Did you?" Touya asked. He stared at Jin. "You didn't do anything illegal to obtain it, did you?"

"No, of course not!" Jin said a little too hastily for Touya's liking. He cleared his throat. "We can hold a vigil for him after Kurama says it's okay for you to be up and about again."

"When will that be?" Touya wondered.

"I dunno," Jin said. "I'll see if I can find out, though!"

He got up from his chair and darted out of the room. Touya shook his head.

Typical of Jin to not hold still, he thought affectionately.

Jin returned a while later with Kurama behind him.

"Good afternoon, Touya," Kurama said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Touya said. "I definitely feel an improvement."

"Good," Kurama said, smiling. "That's very good." He turned around. "Jin, could you do me a favor and step outside for a few minutes? I have some things to discuss with Touya in private."

A surprised expression crossed Jin's face, but he nodded and went outside. Touya was surprised he went without arguing.

"Now," Kurama said, stepping forward, and Touya felt a surge of anxiety.

Calm down, he's not going to hurt you, he mentally scolded himself.

His heart still raced as Kurama regarded him, his face expressionless. That was what made Kurama, dangerous, Touya decided. While he could read Kurama some of the time, there were still times where he was unreadable. And that scared Touya more than anything.

"I want the truth." Kurama's voice was quiet, but firm. "How are you really feeling?"

Touya swallowed hard at the intense look Kurama gave him. "I'm fine."

"Truly?" Kurama asked. "You are not trying to put on a brave face?"

"No," Touya said. "Is that why you sent Jin away?"

"I had to be sure," Kurama said.

"You think I would lie to Jin?" Touya asked coolly.

"I think you would not want to worry him," Kurama said, his voice never losing its calm, measured tone. "The two of you seem to share a very special bond."

Touya felt a stab of irritation. Who did he think he was, presuming to understand what he and Jin shared?

He must have made a face because Kurama added, "Forgive me. I don't mean to assume I have an intimate knowledge about your relationship with Jin. I only meant that I saw how worried Jin was about you and that he seems to care a great deal about you."

Touya turned away so Kurama wouldn't see him blushing. "It's complicated."

"Indeed," Kurama murmured. "If you don't mind, I'd like to have a look at your chest would to see how it's healing."

"Yes, of course," Touya said.

"Lay flat on your back if you would."

Touya obeyed. Kurama's hands were gentle as he unwrapped the bandages around Touya's chest.

"How does it look?" Touya asked, trying not to sound too anxious.

He couldn't help wincing as Kurama's hands probed a tender spot.

"Does that hurt?" Kurama asked with a frowned.

"Yes, a bit," Touya said through clenched teeth.

"How much?"

"Not a lot," Touya said as the pain receded. "It's just a bit tender."

"Well, some tenderness is to be expected," Kurama said. "Other than the tenderness, are there any other problems you've noticed?"

"No." Touya shook his head.

"Are you breathing okay? There's no pain when you inhale or exhale?" Kurama asked.

Touya inhaled as deeply as he could and exhaled and shook his head when he didn't feel any pain.

"Any dizziness or lightheadedness?" Kurama asked.

"No," Touya said crossly.

"I'm just trying to be thorough," Kurama said in a gentle tone. "I don't want anything else to happen to you."

Touya sighed.

"All right, let's see if we can get you up and about," Kurama said. He carefully wrapped a fresh set of bandages around Touya's chest. "Now, we're going to take it nice and easy. Please let me know if you feel dizzy at once or if you experience any pain."

"All right," Touya agreed.

Kurama helped him ease into a sitting position.

"Good?" Kurama asked.

"Yes," Touya said.

"All right, now swing your legs around the side of the bed," Kurama said.

Touya did as he was told. Kurama rested his hand on the small of his back. Touya tried not to blush when Kurama wrapped his other around him because he was so close and warm.

"Ready?" Kurama said in his hear.

"Y…yeah," Touya stuttered.

"Stand," Kurama instructed.

Touya slowly got to his feet. He swayed and instinctively grabbed Kurama's arm to steady himself.

"Easy there," Kurama murmured in his ear. "I've got you."

A few moments passed and Touya found his equilibrium returning. He gave Kurama a nod to indicate he was all right. Without waiting for instruction from Kurama, he took a tentative step forward. His movements were clumsy and his chest felt stiff, but he continued to walk. He didn't realize he was walking on his own until he reached the door and turned around. Kurama still stood by the bed, watching him with a smile. He swore his heart skipped a beat when he saw that beautiful, gentle smile. He shook his head. What was he thinking? This was neither the place nor the time for those thoughts.

He took a deep breath and started walking back towards the bed. He was glad to have the chance to sit on the bed and rest; he certainly was not back at full strength yet and even the simple task of walking across the small room and back took more effort than he cared to admit.

"How are you feeling?" Kurama asked.

"I'm all right," Touya said, trying not to show how winded he was.

"Good," Kurama said. "Wait here while I speak to Jin. Then you can get out of here. How does that sound?"

Touya gave him a small smile. "That sounds very good."

"Good," Kurama said. "Oh, I believe Jin brought these for you, a fresh set of clothes. Why don't you change while you're waiting?"

Touya nodded and took the neatly folded clothes from Kurama, grateful that Jin had thought to bring them for him. Kurama stepped outside, leaving the door open a crack. Touya could hear him talking to Jin and tried not to listen.

"…sure he doesn't exert himself too much."

"I will."

"Let me know…changes…fever."

Touya exhaled softly, trying to keep himself calm as he dressed in the clean clothes. He was very happy to be leaving Kurama's room, but it also meant the possibility of running into Risho and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that yet. He didn't want to face his leader without knowing how he should confront Risho's actions during their fight. Did he call out his despicable behavior? Did he turn a blind eye? How could he live with himself if he did that? There were so many questions he needed to answer before he could confront Risho, but first, he needed to mourn Gama. Even with all the turmoil, both external and internal, it was still important to pause and honor the lost.

"Touya?" a quiet voice caused Touya to raise his head. Kurama had come back into the room with Jin behind him. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." Touya nodded, swallowing hard.

He rose stiffly and followed Jin out. Kurama walked them to the door.

"Take care of yourselves," he said softly.

"We will," Jin said. "And uh…thanks for…everything. For not letting Touya die."

There was an embarrassed pause with Jin's words hanging in the air between them. Then, the moment passed and they said goodbye. Jin led the way down the stairs and through a maze of service hallways. Touya had the feeling they weren't supposed to be here, but no one stopped them. Jin exited the hotel first and held the door open for Touya.

"Thank you, Jin," Touya murmured.

"No sweat, pal," Jin said with one of his trademark grins.

Touya blinked as he was met by the harsh afternoon sun. After spending so much time in Kurama's dimly lit room and the artificial light of the hotel, the sudden transition to natural daylight was jarring. He had to stop walking and raise his hand to shield his eyes.

"You okay?" Jin sensed that Touya had stopped following him and turned to see what was wrong.

"Y…yeah," Touya said. "Just not used to the light. Bright."

Jin chuckled softly. "Yeah, I can imagine that it's a bit bright, especially after bein' in Kurama's dark room for so long. Here."

Without warning, he took Touya by the hand and led him away from the hotel. Touya didn't say anything, though a faint blush tinged his otherwise pale cheeks.

Jin led him down a narrow, winding, rocky path that skirted the sea. The path sloped gently down the mountain until it leveled out right beside the sea. It was much cooler down here, a nice breeze coming off the water. Touya inhaled the sharp scent of salt water and felt more relaxed than he had since arriving on this island. They walked alongside the sea for a while, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves on the rocks.

Just when Touya was beginning to tire, Jin stopped. They had arrived at the mouth of a cave carved into the mountainside.

"He's in here,' Jin said quietly.

Touya nodded, his throat suddenly constricting.

"I had them bring down everything we'll need to take care of him," Jin continued. "We'll see him off properly, don't ya worry."

The interior of the cave was lit by torches placed strategically on the walls. Gama's body was laid out in the center of the cave on a bier. It had been washed and dressed in fresh linens, as was customary in Shinobi funeral rites.

Touya turned to Jin. "You did this?"

"Yeah," Jin said with a smile.

"You didn't have to do this by yourself," Touya murmured.

"I know, but I wanted to," Jin said.

Touya knew better than to argue with him. The two of them settled themselves on the hard cave floor around the bier. They would sit a vigil for Gama in silent contemplation, reflecting on their time with Gama and what he meant to them. Then, they would cremate him at dawn and scatter his ashes in the sea.

Touya inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He exhaled slowly, allowing his mind to go blank in preparation for his night of reflection.

In all honesty, I didn't know Gama that well on a personal level. I was not, shall we say, the social type, and I had a reputation because of my bloody past. Most of the Shinobi tended to avoid me even though they probably had more blood on their hands than I. Perhaps it was because I murdered my mother and even Shinobi have standards, or perhaps it was just something about me that drove them away. Jin, of course, was the exception to that, but Jin was the exception to many things.

My first impression of Gama was a strange looking creature with fierce eyes. I had lived a sheltered life among the Ice Maidens so I was not prepared for demons who looked quite different.

Our paths did not cross much aside from the occasional sparring match. He was always polite to me and treated me with respect. I did the same. It was not difficult; he was an easy demon to respect. He was a skilled fighter and did his job well and without complaint. We had a cordial relationship, although it was always strictly professional.

Gama, please forgive me for not being able to avenge your death like I promised.

Touya exhaled softly for the last time and allowed himself to open his eyes. His cheeks were wet with half frozen tears. He hastily wiped them away before Jin could see them. He rose slowly with a groan, his body stiff from sitting in the same position all night. He stretched slowly until all the stiffness was gone and crossed the cave. He stood at the entrance, staring out at the dawn sky. The sun was just beginning to peek through pewter clouds which were slowly dispersing and the air smelled fresh and wet. He remembered hearing the soft pitter patter of rain through the haze of his meditation, but he had pushed it from his mind.

He turned when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Are ya ready to say your final goodbye?" Jin asked softly.

Touya nodded, his throat constricting again. He and Jin took torches off the wall and held them out toward the bier. The wood caught fire immediately and it spread quickly. Touya and Jin stepped back as the bier became engulfed by flames.

They collected the ashes in a jar Jin had arranged to be provided for their use and stepped out of the cave. The sun had fully risen now, the clouds completely dispersed. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.

They stood at the edge of the water with the jar of Gama's ashes between them. Jin turned to Touya, who nodded. Jin reached into the jar and took a handful of ashes. He opened his fist, allowing the wind to carry the ashes toward the sea. Touya scooped up a handful of ashes and mimicked Jin's actions.

Farewell, Gama, he thought as he and Jin took turns giving Gama's ashes to the sea.

He let the tears come now, his grief too powerful to contain any longer. He felt Jin's hand slip into his and squeezed it gently.

They stood in silence for a while, watching the sea and then started the journey back up to the hotel.