A/N- Thank you for the patience on this one! Gosh, that must have been the fastest month all year. Tons going on here, and finding the energy to get this one edited and out after long days working just felt impossible at times. Thanks to all who reviewed and constantly reminded me to keep working on it. Two side notes here- First, it's been probably five or six years since I've personally been to Paris. I am relying off my own memory and hoping things have not changed too much. Second, I studied Spanish and Italian but failed miserably in French. So if you speak the language and notice errors, please be kind. With that being said, hope you all enjoy!
—
"Mmm, try the purple one!" Emily announced excitedly. She was still chewing as she spoke and little purple crumbs fell onto her white robe.
"You act like you've never had macaroons before," Alison laughed.
"I really haven't," the brunette shrugged. She could vaguely remember Sabrina going on and on about the baking process one night when they were together, but that felt like a lifetime ago. Sure, she'd seen them plenty of times before in shoppes and bakeries, but she'd never had the desire to actually order any. Until tonight.
She watched Alison take a bite of the purple macaroon that she had recommended. Unlike Emily, the blonde was able to corral the whole bite of cookie into her mouth without making a mess. Which was a good thing, considering all that she was wearing was a bed sheet. Emily smiled at the sight and was reminded, once again, that they were finally in Paris together. After they'd gotten to the hotel room and she started her shower, she was determined to wipe away any of the negative thoughts that had swirled around on the plane ride. They'd been talking about this trip for years and she couldn't let herself ruin it by being frustrated that Alison hadn't proposed to her. Anyway, it felt silly. Their relationship was in a good place, regardless of whether or not she had a ring on her finger. She trusted the other girl now more than ever. Alison had told her that she wanted the same thing- to be married, to keep building their family- and Emily just needed to be patient.
Part of being patient was being present. She didn't want to spend another second of the trip caught up in her thoughts. When she exited the shower, she had approached Alison with a new mindset, one that the blonde reciprocated. They'd showered together and after that continued on to the bed. By then, the ring was the farthest thing from Emily's mind. They stayed in bed together, alternating between light naps and love making, until the evening. This wasn't the first time that they'd wound up going right for the bed when they finally had a vacation together. When they were home, time together like this had to be quick and careful. The twins had just turned seven and it seemed like one of them was always around the corner. They didn't feel bad that they'd spent their first day in Paris in bed. It meant that they could be slow and truly appreciate one another.
When they had finally parted to order room service, the macaroons caught Emily's eye for desert. If they weren't out on the town, she figured that she may as well bring a little bit of Paris into their hotel room.
"Good?" Emily asked.
"Mhm," Alison confirmed as she swallowed her bite. "The floral flavor is way different than the others."
"Floral?" Emily pinched her brows. Were cookies supposed to taste floral?
"Yeah, they're lavender," Alison chuckled. Emily had the same facial expression as Grace when she was confused. "What flavor did you think it was?"
"I don't know... Purple?" Emily wasn't sure. She just knew that she liked the cookie. And she liked watching Alison eating it across from her. The blonde's hair was tasseled from drying against the pillow and she hadn't bothered to put any clothes on for their meal. It was Emily's favorite version of the blonde. Sure, she looked great when she was made up and wearing a nice outfit, but Emily secretly liked her better stripped down to her natural self. She felt like Alison reserved this version just for her. It was even better right now because behind her the window illuminated the Paris night sky. It felt perfect.
Alison's chuckles turned into full on giggles at the response. She leaned in, letting the sheet slip off of her slightly and pressed a kiss to Emily's lips. "I love you," she said when she leaned back.
Emily licked her lips, tasting a bit of icing that was left behind. She thought back to a time years ago when just the idea of this trip felt like a total pipe dream. Alison was always making comments about Paris to Emily during Freshmen year. At first, she had just thought that it was some kind of obsession that the blonde had with making the trip. She assumed that Alison talked to everyone about it, but when she'd mentioned it to Spencer one day she told Emily that she'd never heard Alison talk about a trip to Paris. As time went on, Emily was convinced that maybe it really was their thing. But then Alison pulled a 180 on her making Emily feel humiliated and turned off at the idea of anything French. When they finally got together, nearly a decade later, they started talking seriously about making the trip. It felt a little bit surreal that they we're finally there.
"Is this trip everything you imagined?" She asked the blonde.
Alison settled back on her side of the room service tray across from her. "Well, we still have six more days, so I'll have to let you know," she smiled and tilted her head, "but I'd say that we're off to a pretty good start."
Emily raised her brows and nodded her head. They were definitely off to a good start.
Still though, she wondered, "Is this what you had in mind back then?" Back when they were young and in high school. Before they had gotten together and and started a family. Back when the line between friends and more than friends was blurred and confusing.
Alison took a breath as she thought about the question. She knew that it was more loaded than it seemed on the surface. She hated thinking about high school. Despite the fact that it had been almost two decades, it still made her feel sick thinking about the person that she'd been and the things that she had done. Especially when it came to the way that she had treated Emily. The brunette had been the one person that stuck around in Alison's corner. She never excused the way that Alison treated people, but she was the one person that made Alison think that it didn't have to be that way. She had always felt different when she was with Emily. But back then, she didn't know what that meant and she certainly had no idea how to go about being different.
"I don't think I knew exactly what I was imagining back then," she confessed to the brunette. She remembered sitting with Emily in an empty classroom rattling off all of the things that she wanted to do in Paris. She'd lied to their study hall monitor that day and told him that they needed to practice their French together and that she didn't want to interrupt any of the other students working quietly in the library. He's bought it and unlocked a classroom for Alison and Emily to use. The reality was that she had just wanted to be alone with Emily that day. She'd had a bad morning. Before she left for school, she'd argued with her mother and when she got there every other person who dared to breathe anywhere near her felt her wrath. Being with Emily always made her feel better. The brunette had a calm demeanor. She listened to Alison and always paid attention to her when she talked. With Emily, it was different than other people. They listened to Alison because they were afraid of her or because they wanted to be seen as popular. Emily wasn't that way. When she listened to Alison, she'd watched the blonde intently, as if trying to read into her soul. Alison had liked that. She felt like she could be a different version of herself because she trusted Emily. She wanted the brunette to see the parts that she kept hidden. But, God, it was scary. She'd told Emily that day how good the brunette would look on top of the Eiffel Tower. She'd told her that she wanted to dance around through sunflower fields and lounge in their bikinis. She was rattling off whatever came to her head, like it was a dream, without really thinking about it. She'd meant what she said then, but not enough to be able to confront what it meant.
"Anytime I've ever thought of Paris, I've thought of you." Emily told her. "It's like you put this idea in my head and even though I knew that you probably weren't serious, there was a part of me that really wanted to believe that you were."
Alison looked away. She knew that she'd baited Emily back then. In truth she wasn't doing it to be malicious. Sure, she knew that the brunette had some kind of feelings for her that went beyond her other friendships, but Alison wasn't weirded out by it. She found herself pushing the brunette, seeing how far she would go. When Emily finally kissed Alison, she panicked. It all became real and she was forced to confront the dreamworld that she talked about. "I was," Alison said softly. She looked out the window and located the Eiffel Tower in the distance. She thought about what she'd told Emily. At the time, she thought that they could run away, maybe it would solve everything. But running never helped.
"You know I kept those postcards that you had. I would look at them after you disappeared. I kept thinking that maybe you just ran away. Maybe... I'd see you again. Maybe we would actually get the chance to go to Paris. But then when they thought they found your body and..." Emily stopped and pushed her lips together. That had been one of the worst days of her life. She'd vocalized to her friends that Alison was dead, but deep down she had refused to believe it. She took a breath and told the blonde, "I slipped the postcards into the casket. I couldn't keep them anymore."
Alison pushed her brows together. She never knew about that. "What happened to them?"
Emily shrugged. "A took them and taunted me with them of course." She shook her head with a humorless laugh.
"I'm sorry..." Alison looked down again.
"They're just postcards, it's no big deal. We can buy new ones now that we're here."
Really though, Alison wasn't apologizing about the postcards. She was apologizing for Emily getting taunted by A with them. She was the one who had given A that ammunition in a way. She sensed that Emily probably knew what she meant. They'd talked about the past a lot in the last few years. She reached across their dinner plates and squeezed the brunette's hand. It was a 'thank you' and an 'I love you' all in one. She knew how lucky she was to have gotten multiple chances with Emily. That the brunette had let Alison grow into her true self and loved her through it all.
"I love you," Emily smiled as she squeezed back.
They didn't have to run away to Paris forever. Their forever had already begun together.
Emily's phone started buzzing across the room with the sounds of an incoming FaceTime. Emily had told her mother to try them sometime after they landed. It was probably around 2pm at home. As much as Emily and Alison wanted to try to FaceTime the twins before their bedtime, it would be be close to 2am in Paris. They'd decided to go with Paris bedtime instead.
She grabbed a shirt off of the floor and tossed it Alison's way before quickly slipping back into her own top. It would probably be best not to answer a video call with her mother and daughters wearing little to nothing.
"Hello!" She greeted to the screen with genuine excitement after accepting the call.
"Hi Mama!" Both Lily and Grace shouted as their little faces appeared on the screen. Emily smiled into the phone and walked over to the bed to join Alison. The blonde still looked a little roused, but nothing that their daughters would question.
"Hi girls," Alison greeted with a big smile.
"I'm here too," Pam said. Her head briefly appeared in the corner of the screen, but the twins continued to hog the camera.
"Are you girls being good for your Grandma?" Alison asked. Pam watched the twins frequently, but this would be the longest stretch of time that she was keeping them. While Lily and Grace were generally well behaved, they had a mischievous side and tended to get into things that they shouldn't. Alison knew that the twins would give Pam more than her fair share of grief this week. It was only a matter of time. The twins nodded enthusiastically at the question. Alison glanced at Emily and made a face that suggested she didn't fully believe it, but wasn't going to call them out.
"Can you show your Moms what you learned today?" Pam's voice came through from off screen.
The girls adjusted as the tried to fit a big map into view on the screen. Both Emily and Alison squinted. It looked like a world map. Emily recognized it as one that had been in her house for years. Back when her father was deployed, her mother used to get it out and show her on the map where her father was. Learning the geography of where places like Kuwait and Afghanistan were had helped her understand where her father was in the world. "Did you learn where we are?" Emily guessed.
"Yes, you're right here!" Grace said excitedly. She pointed her finger to what looked like France, although with the quality of the video, it really could have been any country in western Europe.
"In France," Lily told them proudly. They'd talked to the twins about where they were going a few times, but it still made Emily and Alison feel proud that the girls understood where they were.
"Are you going to bring back presents?" Grace asked. The video shifted again and both girls were looking into the camera excitedly.
"If you're good while we're gone," Emily told them. She and Alison had planned to bring back plenty of souvenirs for their daughters. It would be a fun activity when they got back, but she was hoping she could incentivize them at least a little bit.
"We will be!" Lily assured them.
"Well we don't want to keep you," Pam told them. "We just wanted to make sure that you landed safely and say goodnight."
"It's not time for bed yet," Grace looked up at her Grandmother.
"It is here," Alison smiled patiently into the phone, "see?" She turned it towards the window, where the dark night sky was illuminated by the city lights.
Grace tilted her head in confusion and Alison couldn't help but snicker to herself. Yep, the same face as Emily. It always was.
"I'll explain it to you later," Pam assured her. "Now let me say goodbye to your Moms." The girls their goodnights and left the screen.
"Thanks again for keeping them this week," Emily said once the twins were gone.
"Of course," Pam waved her daughter off. "I wanted you two to get away and have a nice vacation." She paused and looked back and forth between them. "Anything exciting happen so far?"
Alison felt her eyes go wide. Was Pam asking what it sounded like she was asking?
Emily didn't seem to notice. "No," she chuckled sheepishly. "We were a little too... jet lagged to do any serious sightseeing today." She didn't want it to seem like they had voluntarily spent all day in their hotel bed together, which they had.
"Mhm," Pam nodded. She glanced at Alison and then back to her daughter. "Oh Em, you have something on your face."
"I do?" Emily reached up with her right hand and touched the right side of her face.
"Other side," Pam said.
Emily lifted her left hand this time to swipe across her face and Alison was sure that the woman was inspecting her finger to see if there was a ring there. The brunette still didn't seem to notice, though. Emily turned to Alison, "What is it?"
"Probably just a crumb," the blonde shook her head quickly. She redirected the conversation, addressing Pam again. "Did you know that your daughter has never had a macaroon before today?"
"What?" Pam looked completely befuddled. "Emily, why?"
"I really don't understand why it's so surprising," Emily shrugged. "I mean you never made them."
"Too much work," Pam explained.
Alison went on to recount that Emily also had trouble discerning the cookie flavors as well and they all got a good laugh at Emily's expense. The call ended shortly after. Emily and Alison gave Pam and overview of their plans for the following day, they picked a time to talk to the girls, and then all said goodnight.
Emily moved the room service platter from the bed and tossed her phone onto the side table. She crawled back into the bed and turned her attention back to the blonde.
"What do you want to do for the rest of the night?" Alison asked. Her tone was soft, yet suggestive.
Emily took note and reached her hand out to trace the outline of the other girl's hip. "I have... a few ideas."
"Yeah?" Alison smiled wide, dimples pushing onto her cheeks.
"Yeah," Emily nodded, "but they all require that shirt to come off."
Alison didn't think twice. She pulled the top back over her head and tossed it towards the foot of the bed. She took Emily's hand in pulled her in towards her, capturing the brunette's lips in another kiss. Sightseeing would start tomorrow, but they still had plenty of night left to enjoy.
—
Alison was up bright and early the next morning. A day of rest had done her well and, though her body was still somewhat confused with the time change, she felt energized and ready to go. She let Emily sleep while she poured over their trip itinerary for almost an hour. Over the last few months, Emily had planned different sites to see for almost everyday so Alison knew where they would be going. She pulled up locations on google, and scrolled through dozens of images for each place. She knew exactly what she wanted to say to Emily when she proposed- that part wouldn't be a problem- but she wanted to find the perfect place. The various destinations that they were visiting all had their own unique beauty. She wasn't sure if she could decide based on pictures alone. It would have to be a feeling, she decided. It would come down to whichever place felt right.
She realized that if she didn't pick a place outright, she was going to have to carry the ring around with her- Which was slightly terrifying to think about because there were about a dozen things that could go wrong when carrying a family heirloom around a foreign city. She grabbed a few things from her bag and headed for the bathroom. She was going to have to get creative.
And lucky for her, she had always been a master of hiding things.
A half hour later, Alison walked back out freshly showered, clothed, and wondering how in the world Emily was still sleeping. When she sat on the edge of the bed, a single brown eye popped open and the brunette's lips curled into a smile. Alison patted the fluffy comforter that Emily was curled in to.
"Hey," she smiled back sweetly.
"Where were you?" Emily pushed her brows together with a slight pout.
Alison chuckled. Emily looked cute all tired and confused. "Making sure that we didn't accidentally spend another whole day in bed," she raised her brows. It was eight-thirty already and she wanted to get out and see the city.
Emily finally opened both eyes. She took in the fully dressed blonde and her lips went full pout. She'd missed out on cuddling this morning. She lightly reached out to pull the blonde down with her.
"Oh no," Alison pushed back. She adjusted back into her sitting position. She wasn't letting Emily pull her back into bed. Who knew when they would actually make it out of their room if she did. Plus, she had just tucked the ring away. It was pretty secure, but she didn't need Emily dislodging it somehow. "You need to get up and get ready so that we can finally see the city. You put the Eiffel Tower on today's itinerary and I'm not missing it. I'm almost ready to go."
Emily sat up slightly. "I missed shower time too?" She asked with a sigh.
"Yes, because you were sleeping in," Alison laughed. She pulled the covers down and took a minute to appreciate the other woman's naked body. She almost caved but decided that no, they needed to get a move on. "Now go get ready so that we can explore."
"Fine," Emily swung her long legs dramatically over the bed. She was excited to get the day started too. She'd spent months planning this trip and was looking forward to finally getting to see the sights with her own eyes. She walked towards the bathroom, but turned around before she reached the door to flash a sexy smile at her girlfriend. She wasn't dumb, she knew that the blonde had been staring the whole time. She reached the shower and turned the water on. It was time to finally see Paris.
—
The city didn't disappoint. They spent their first day walking around, taking in the sites, and trying to see everything that they could. One aspect that Emily hadn't anticipated in all of her planning was just how big the city was. She thought of the times that she'd been in New York or Philadelphia and walked the city streets. She assumed that Paris would be similar, but it was much different. By time that they finally made it to the Arc de Triomphe, her watch had noted that they'd already walked close to three miles. They'd been three beautiful miles, though, which was another difference from Philly and New York. Maybe it was because it was new to them, but both women couldn't help but stop and look at all of the flowers each time they passed a garden. They'd stopped several times along the river as well to watch the artists at work and check out their finished products. They stopped into a cafes every time they saw something in the window that they wanted to try. There was just something here that felt magical and kept them from noticing all of the walking that they were doing.
Until they realized how many stairs they had to climb to get to the top of the Arc.
"You're kidding, we have to climb up now?" Alison asked at the entrance, gazing up at the seemingly endless sets of spiral stairs.
"I may have left that part out for a reason," Emily pushed her lips together. She'd managed to talk Alison out of wearing a pair of uncomfortable shoes for the day, but didn't tell her that aside from the walking that they'd be climbing nearly three hundred stairs.
Alison gasped as she turned back to her. Emily tried to hold back a laugh. She couldn't tell if the blonde was being dramatic or if she was actually kind of pissed off. "Come on," She reached for her hand, "we'll do it together."
Alison stared down at Emily's hand for a beat and then grabbed it. They held hands throughout the entire climb, which was honestly more dizzying than tiring. After a few minutes, they reached the top of the Arc and were rewarded with an expansive view of the city. It was windy, and Alison let go of Emily's hand to try and tame her blonde hair as it flapped around wildly. When she turned her body, something caught her eye and she slowly faced the other woman again with a glare.
"Emily."
The brunette was staring out at the city, but she recognized the tone. She grimaced before attempting to plaster an innocent look on her face. "Hm?"
"Is that what I think it is?" She motioned with a hand that had been resting on her hip.
Emily tucked in her lips. "An elevator?"
"An elevator that you knew about?" Alison asked.
Emily sidestepped the question. "Oh, come on." She reached for the blonde's hand again and pulled her towards the edge. "Look at this view. Do you think that you would have appreciated it as much if you took the elevator? We had to suffer a little and earn it." She smiled at the blonde briefly before turning out to stare over the ledge at the miles of city streets.
Alison couldn't disagree. She'd spent the entire five minutes that they climbed the steps huffing and puffing, wishing that she was at the top. She'd spent the whole time wondering what it would look like and now she could see that it was even better than she had imagined. It was a different view than the others that she'd seen. The city seemed to go on forever. She smiled at the thought and wondered if Emily was talking about more than just the steps. The path that their relationship had taken had been difficult. They had gone through struggles. And now? The future was looking as bright as ever. She thought of the ring that she had hidden away. She couldn't wait to give it to Emily.
For the next few days, the ring was on her mind at every attraction they went to and every sight that she saw. She wanted to find the perfect place, and every time that she thought she may have found it, something derailed her.
First, was the Eiffel Tower. They'd stood below it after lunch on their first day, marveling at the sight. Alison took in the scene. Sunshine, green grass, sounds of laughter in the air. She thought that it could be the place. But then she thought, isn't it supposed to be even more beautiful at night? They had planned to come back later, after dinner. Maybe it would be even more perfect then. Then could drink champagne under the illuminated structure after she slipped the ring onto Emily's hand.
But then they didn't go back that night. They were having too much fun at the restaurant that they chose to have dinner at. They were seated outside on the street and so engrossed in the Parisian cafe scene, that they chose not to leave. Alison didn't worry too much. She knew that she had more time. There would be more opportunities.
They took the train out to Versailles the next day. As they toured the Palace, Alison gazed out of the Hall of Mirrors down into the gardens. Maybe this would be the perfect place? It was royal and regal and it would definitely be memorable. Later, when they were down in the garden and walking through the maze-like design, Alison kept her head on a swivel, trying to find the best spot.
But her plan was busted shortly after as she and Emily sat on a bench and another couple maybe fifty feet away had the same idea. Alison's eyes bulged out of her head as she watched a random man get down on one knee in front of the girl that he was with. She vaguely heard a shocked, 'Oh my god!' from Emily, but couldn't find it in herself to look at the brunette. She stood up and Emily followed her lead as she looked for the exit. She was pissed and embarrassed, and ready to get the hell out of these gardens. They were messing with her allergies. Or at least that was what she told Emily.
The thoughts continued throughout the week. Whenever they had a moment or found themselves at a pretty sight, Alison's mind kept asking, Here?…Here? It was starting to drive her crazy.
And somehow, it the midst of all of it, Emily didn't seem to notice at all. They checked out the Grand Palais one afternoon and walked through the Jardin des Tuileries after. She looked around and nodded to herself that Yes, here. This would be beautiful. She took a breath, but before she could make any moves, Emily jumped up. "Oh! I think this is where our concierge said to get desert crepes!" The brunette started walking down the sidewalk towards a stand and Alison just sat there wondering how in the hell she couldn't make a single proposal work in this big beautiful city.
They went to the Musee d'Orsay afterwards and she found peace staring at the water lilies on the wall. She'd always loved impressionist paintings. She liked the idea that things aren't always what they seemed. She walked up close several times, staring at the strokes of color, and then backed herself up to marvel at the way that the strokes made a perfect picture from far away. It was calming. It reminded her that this trip might have some hiccups along the way, but all in all it would be remembered as a good trip. She still wasn't sure where she was going to propose, but relaxing eased her anxiety somewhat.
Later that night, they took a taxi to Montemarte. The district was buzzing with a warm energy that put both women in a good mood. They walked around to see the Sacré-Cœur basilica and spent time taking pictures. Emily's mother had told her each night which Catholic churches to make sure that they visited. Some she visited just to humor Pam, but others, like this one were not to be missed for their beauty. Alison decided to relax. She didn't let herself stop to wonder if she should make tonight the night. Her only goal was for both of them to enjoy dinner together. They both tried escargot for the first time and chased it with the paired wine. It was another late night, and by the end, Emily was helping Alison into a cab to get her way-past-tipsy girlfriend back to the hotel for the night.
Emily took the call from her Mom and their daughters alone shortly after she'd put Alison to bed. She laughed out loud immediately as the video turned on and Lily and Grace shouted 'Bonjour' into the screen. It came out sounding more like two separate words because of the long pause between syllables and the fact that 'Jour' came out much, much louder than 'Bon' but she appreciated the enthusiasm. She explained that "Mommy fell asleep early because she was tired out from their long day" and "Yes, of course she would be on the video call tomorrow." She asked about their day. Pam had taken them to swim practice and they stayed afterwards to swim with their friends. They'd had pizza for dinner. Pam reminded her (for probably the third time this week) to take pictures outside of Notre Dame.
Emily smiled after the call. It had been a great trip so far, but she definitely missed home a little. She missed her crazy daughters and their hectic life. Days alone with Alison were wonderful, but it was almost too quiet when it was just the two of them. And it was definitely too quiet when it was just Emily up at night alone.
She scrolled through her phone, deciding that she wasn't done seeking company and dialed Hanna's number to FaceTime say hello.
"Well, Ciao," Hanna smarted into the phone. "I was wondering when I'd finally get a call from abroad."
"Sorry," Emily laughed. Her friends and family were too much tonight. "We've been busy."
"Yeah, I bet," Hanna responded knowingly.
Emily laughed again, "I didn't mean like that." Still though, she subconsciously glanced over at the sleeping blonde thinking about some of their nights together.
"But you didn't not mean it like that either," Hanna finished.
"True... How's home?" Emily redirected.
"Don't ask. Ava apparently thinks that she doesn't have a bedtime." Emily grimaced, remembering how uncooperative three year olds could be. "How's Ali?" Hanna asked.
Emily glanced over at the bed again. "She's good. Asleep. We had escargot at dinner."
Hanna scrunched her nose. "Gross, that's an escar-NO for me."
Emily laughed, "It wasn't bad. It actually just tasted like butter and garlic."
"No thank you," Hanna shook her head. "Did you go into that shop that I told you about?"
Hanna had been on them about going to a store that one of her colleagues from New York had opened. "Not yet, but we'll definitely check it out."
"Tell the owner that you know me. Maybe she'll give you a discount."
"Maybe we'll go tomorrow..." They didn't really have much planned for the next day and she had a feeling that Alison wouldn't want to do anything too strenuous. She picked at her nails for a minute as she considered their plans.
"Trip's going good though?" Hanna interrupted her thoughts.
Emily looked up into the phone again. "Yeah," she smiled, "we're having a really good time."
"You're not still all butt hurt that you aren't engaged?" Hanna raised her brows. Emily didn't talk much to their friends about her confusion with Alison not proposing in the last year, but she had mentioned it to Hanna a few times in passing. It didn't surprise her that her friend had correctly guessed that it had been bothering her more than she let on.
"I'm just trying to have a good time and not worry about it," she told Hanna. That's what she'd been trying to do the last few days. Of course the thoughts had crept into her head a few times, but she'd pushed them aside.
"I don't understand why you didn't just ask her."
"Ask her why she hasn't proposed to me yet?" Emily lifted her brows. "I'm sure that would go over well..."
Hanna rolled her eyes, "No, I'm saying I don't know why you haven't proposed to her if you want to be engaged so badly."
"Yeah, but..." She tilted her head in thought at Hanna's words, "She has the ring though." She pinched her brows. She'd never considered proposing to Alison. She'd sort of felt like she was already telling her that she wanted to marry her by giving her the ring to propose with last year.
"Are you not going to get her one again when you do finally get engaged?" Hanna asked.
"Yeah, of course."
"Well then I don't understand why you don't just ask her." Hanna raised a brow. "Why does she have to be the one to ask?"
"I don't know... It's complicated I guess," Emily shrugged. It's not like Hanna had ever dealt with this. "We can't all just get engaged and married in one day to avoid testifying in a murder case."
"No, you just got engaged and married because A impregnated Ali with your eggs."
"That wasn't why we got married," Emily shook her head. She didn't like to think about the impact that A had on their family. It was traumatizing, but she wouldn't go back and change it. Lily and Grace were perfect.
"Well that wasn't why I got married either," Hanna pointed out. "I'm just saying, I think that you're thinking too much about rules and what you think is the right way to do things. There's no rules, Emily."
"I know," she nodded. It felt kind of stupid now that she thought about it. That she was waiting around for Alison to ask her. Their relationship had come so far. She should have just talked to her about it.
In the distance, Emily heard what sounded like a child yelling and she watched Hanna's eyes widen. "You have to be kidding me. Ava!" She left the video screen for a minute before grabbing the phone again with a huff. "I've gotta go. Send me a picture when you go to the boutique?"
As much as she missed her daughters, Emily did not envy Hanna in that moment. "Yup, will do. See ya." She quickly hung up.
She set the phone down and walked over to the bed. Alison was still asleep, lighting snoring against the pillow. Emily pushed some of her hair tenderly out of her face. Their relationship had been great over the last year. It had felt so much different than the last time. She knew that trust and communication had played a huge part of that, and felt a little bit bad now that she realized she wasn't completely holding up her end of the bargain. When she told Alison that she wanted the ring back when the blonde was ready, she thought that it implied that she was ready too. Maybe that wasn't the case, though? Maybe she should have talked to her more about it. Maybe she should have asked Alison where she was at and shared her own feelings instead of letting them bottle up. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the blonde's forehead. They could talk about it when they got home. Emily knew that they would be okay.
—
The next morning, Emily decided to let Alison sleep off the wine binge. For some reason, she was up and feeling antsy. She decided to get dressed and go pick up some coffee and maybe a croissant for Alison. She had a feeling that the blonde would need to put something in her stomach.
She figured that she had some time to kill so she took her time and leisurely walked around the blocks surrounding their hotel looking for a place that looked good. They were staying in the city, but the hotel was away from most of the tourist attractions. Emily had planned it that way, hoping for a more immersive experience. It also meant that she wound up walking close to six blocks before she finally found a cafe that was opened and selling coffee the way that she liked it. The chocolate croissants in the window were what led her to the door, but she stopped before walking in when something else caught her eye.
Next door to the cafe was a small jewelry shop. It surprised Emily that is was opened so early, but the lights were on and she could see several cases inside lit up for display. She wasn't sure what she was thinking when she walked towards the door to the store, but she felt something pulling her in that direction. She felt like she needed to follow her instincts.
"Bonjour," an older gentleman greeted her, sounding very French.
She was taken out of her thoughts and flustered a bit, "I-um… Bonjour," she greeted.
"Ah… Tu parles anglais." He deducted.
She'd spent nearly a week in France and by now most of the elementary language that she had learned in high school had come back. Luckily, it seemed like most people were willing to speak English, and she and Alison hadn't had to fumble much through conversations. Most people were polite and didn't make her feel bad, but she also didn't want to be disrespectful by not trying. "Um… oui?" She smiled.
The old man chuckled. "It is okay," he nodded, speaking accented English. "Anything you like?" He asked.
Emily looked down into the glass. It was clear that this was jewelry that he had collected himself rather than a mass of collections produced just for the store. All of the jewelry was unique and beautiful. Something caught her eye in the second case. It was a ring- something that had been on her mind all night as she slept. She'd originally planned to start looking for one when they got home. She thought that maybe then she could sit Alison down, talk to her about getting married, and then go from there. But this ring was like nothing she'd ever seen. She had pictured a classic diamond ring in her mind, similar to what she'd give the blonde the first time, but the ring that she was looking at was different. It was perfect. She couldn't have dreamed up anything that she liked more. "This one is beautiful," she told him.
He walked over and inspected the piece of jewelry the she pointed out. "Yes," he nodded with a smile, "le saphir."
The ring was white gold, with small diamonds along the side. Resting in the middle was a rounded rectangular shaped sapphire stone. It almost took her breath away how perfect it was. The deep blue of the stone was the perfect shade for Alison. Emily had always thought that she looked sexy in red, but there was something about the way that deep shades of blue melted into her skin and brought out the color of her eyes. She took her eyes away from the ring briefly and looked up at the owner to confirm. "Could it be…" she tried to think of the word. "Um… engagement?" She asked.
He tilted his head. "Eh… fiançailles?"
She nodded, hoping that they were talking about the same thing.
"Oh oui." The owner nodded firmly. He opened the glass and took the ring out. He held it up and pointed to the stone as he spoke slowly. "Le saphir. It mean fidélité et honnêteté."
"Um…" Emily looked at him a little bit confused.
"Confiance," He told her pointedly, "Someone you trust."
Her heart started pounding as she looked at the ring again. She knew that it was perfect and his words, despite being a little bit outside of her vocabulary, made enough sense to confirm it. She looked at the price marked in Euros underneath it. It wasn't cheap, but she planned on buying a ring at some point. She could make it work.
"Can I come back back?" She asked him. "Tomorrow?" She would need to think about it and make sure. It was a big decision and shouldn't be taken lightly.
He nodded and placed the ring back in the case. "Oui."
Emily took a few steps back, but continued to stare at the ring. She already felt committed to it. That ring didn't below on anyone else's finger except Alison's. She already knew that she would be back- she was already thinking of the call that she would need to make to move money around. "Merci," She told him as she backed up towards the door. "Tomorrow," she told him again.
She felt like she was in a dreamland as she got her coffee and breakfast next door. She was physically in the cafe, but mentally she was still in the jewelry store. She felt like that ring had found her somehow. It was scary, but exciting. Was she really going to do this?
When Emily got back to the hotel room, Alison was still in bed. She grabbed a water from the fridge and made her way over to the blonde with a croissant. "Hey," she smiled when she sat on the edge. Alison opened up her tired eyes and smiled back. Emily couldn't help but see the sapphire when she looked at her eyes. Alison's eyes were much lighter, but it confirmed to her even further that this was what she wanted. She wasn't going to wait for the blonde, she was going to tell her how she felt.
Tomorrow.
The next day was their second to last day in Paris. After a day of relaxing, they felt recharged again. Emily set her alarm early and left the hotel before Alison was ready, claiming that she loved her coffee so much the previous day that she wanted to run to the cafe quick. She came back with two coffees, but Alison didn't know that she had picked up something else as well.
The blonde was too tied up in her own plans to notice anything strange with Emily. Their trip was winding down and she was still determined to propose to Emily before it was over. The brunette had made reservations at a really pretty outdoor restaurant outside of the city. She'd looked it up and decided that this was where she was going to propose. Nothing was going to derail her.
They spent the early part of the day trying to check off all of the places that they hadn't visited yet. Emily finally got some good photos of Notre Dame for her mother and they visited the boutique that Hanna had recommended. With both women finally having decided on plans for themselves, they were both able to live in the moment. It was a beautiful day, and it was fun to walk around and play tourists together. They weren't sure if or when their next chance to do something like the would be. The twins were getting older and Emily had a couple of years left of school. When they returned home, things were destined to get busy fast. They wanted to appreciate this special time together.
They both got dressed up for dinner later that night. This was the nicest meal that they were going to have and Emily had been raving about the views from the restaurant for months. Alison felt ready. The anxiety and pressure that she had felt early on in their trip had faded. She had the ring tucked away and she planned to propose as the sun set over the hill. She knew what she wanted to say and she felt more excited for the moment than anything else that she had experienced on the trip so far. She didn't know that Emily was ready too. That the brunette had a piece of jewelry tucked away as well.
The restaurant was everything that they had expected. Emily remembered when she had first found the place. She was originally looking for wedding venues. At the time, she wasn't sure about having an actual wedding. She was just trying to distract herself from studying and had gotten lost in her thoughts and next thing she knew, she had found the restaurant's webpage. They featured a large outdoor patio, and there was a small gazebo on the grounds, away from the other tables. She had been in contact with the owners many times in the last few months, most recently to tell them that they still planned to come, but that there wouldn't be any vows exchanged. There was a part of her that wondered what could have been, but she wasn't as wistful about it as she had been days ago. She had a beautiful sapphire ring in her purse and she couldn't wait for Alison to see it.
Alison was impressed with the restaurant. Emily was pretty predictable back home when they ordered dinner or went out. She was willing to try new things, but rarely the person to suggest them. "How did you find this place?" She asked Emily after their entree plates were cleared.
"It's a secret," Emily smirked. She took a sip of her wine. She was feeling excited and it was evident by the sly smile that stayed fixed on her face.
Alison chuckled, "Is that secret our hotel concierge?"
"Nope," Emily shook her head.
Alison twisted her lips. "Mona?" She guessed. The other brunette had lived in Paris for over a year, after all.
"God, no," Emily snorted.
"Well then where-"
"Emily!" A voice interrupted as a put-together woman walked up. "Bonsoir! So good to finally meet you."
Alison raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the woman. And who the hell was this? Why was there some designer-dressed cougar walking up to their table when she was planning to give Emily an engagement ring.
"Hi Genevieve," Emily stood up to greet her with a smile. "It's nice to meet you as well."
Alison turned her gaze slowly to Emily and narrowed her eyes.
The woman, Genevieve, glanced at Alison and looked back to Emily with a smile, "And this must be your-"
"Yeah, this is Alison," Emily quickly interrupted. She didn't know if the woman was going to say girlfriend or fiancé, so she tried to take control of the situation. It apparently, however, did not please Alison. The blonde continued to glare at Emily even while Genevieve greeted her.
"Maybe I will start working on desert?" Genevieve asked Emily, looking for an exit strategy.
"That would be great," Emily gave a big smile. "Maybe just give us a little time."
"Oh course," Genevieve smiled, "I am so glad that you decided to still come this evening." She walked away leaving Emily grimacing and Alison looking like she was ready to murder someone.
"Who the hell is that?" Alison asked, crossing her arms.
Emily's brows constructed. Did Alison think that she was having a secret fling with a middle aged woman? "Um, the owner," she told her pointedly. "I made the reservation a with her."
"Oh... sorry." Alison relaxed. She hadn't realized that her nerves had come back and that she was a little on edge. She took a sip of her wine as she reconsidered the interaction. "Why did she say still?"
Emily twisted her lips. She'd been hoping that the blonde wouldn't notice that. She shook her head lightly. They needed a change of pace. "Can we walk?" She asked. She stood up and held her hand out.
Alison nodded. She put her napkin on the table and took Emily's hand. The meal had actually been timed well. They were finished eating just as golden hour was setting in. They walked along the grounds, taking in the scenery, and Emily led her to the small gazebo. She smiled as they sat down, still holding hands. "This is perfect," she told the brunette.
"Yeah," Emily glanced around. She'd been looking forward to this moment. No one was around. It was just the two of them.
"So you never told me how you found this place," Alison pointed out.
"You really want to know?" Alison nodded and Emily gave her response with a chuckle, "Google."
Alison giggled in response. She was feeling giddy all of the sudden. "Well Google definitely led you in the right direction for a perfect romantic dinner."
Emily smiled, "It was more than that…" She faced the blonde. They were still holding hands and she gave it a light squeeze. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
Alison tilted her head. Normally, those words weren't good, but she and Emily had been fine. They had been keeping communication opened between them, and she didn't feel worried.
"Remember that day on the beach last year?" Emily asked. "When I gave you the engagement ring back and asked you to give it to me again when you were ready…"
Alison's eyes went wide. She wasn't sure what to say, so she just nodded.
Emily took a breath. She looked the other girl directly in the eyes. "I don't think that I ever told you that I was ready. I was ready then, and I'm ready now." She paused for a moment to take another breath, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. "And it's okay if you're not ready to give it to me yet for whatever reason, but I want you to know where I stand."
Alison looked down at her lap with a small smile. She nodded. "I knew that."
"Is there anything holding you back? Something that you need from me?" Emily asked slowly. She was nervous. If Alison knew that Emily wanted her to propose, why hadn't she done it yet?
"No," Alison looked up at her and shook her head. "This past year has been the best year of my life. I've never been more happy. You've been perfect." She looked around. When she thought about it, she still couldn't believe that Emily had planned a romantic trip for them in Paris. It was a dream come true. It wasn't just the trip, though. Their relationship had been near perfect since they got back together. Sure, they argued and nitpicked sometimes, but there was an underlying trust this time that hadn't been there before. Alison had been sure that she wanted to marry Emily again since the day that they got back together. "I mean look at this place. You're amazing for planning this," she marveled.
Emily blushed. She had worked hard planning the trip, but it never felt like work. She wanted Alison to know the truth. It seemed like she was ready to hear it. "When I found this place, I thought it would be a perfect place to get married." She paused and rolled her lips. She wanted to say more, but she wanted to see the blonde's reaction first.
Alison's heart started jumping. Emily was right. It was the kind of place that she would have pictured back when she was romanticizing Paris as a teenager. She thought for a minute. A wedding wasn't totally out of the question. "I think you'd need a ring for that," she told the brunette with a wry smile, echoing the same words that Emily had spoken a year ago on the beach.
"Yeah…" Emily gave her a soft smile.
Alison took a breath. This was it. Every missed opportunity to propose over the last week led to this. She had a ring and she was ready to finally to get it out.
But Emily beat her to it.
"Lucky for you, I do." Emily reached her other hand out and opened it to reveal the ring that she had purchased that morning.
Alison's eyes went wide and she sucked in a breath so quickly that she almost choked on the air. She had no idea where it had come from, but Emily was holding out the most beautiful ring that she had ever seen. "Is that- Is that for me?" She asked.
"If you want it. I love you, Alison." She glanced down at the ring and back to the blonde, "And it's okay if you're not ready yet or you more need time, but I want you to know that this is what-"
"I do," Alison told her. "I want it." She was talking about the ring, but she knew what it symbolized. It meant solidifying their future. Forever this time.
"Yeah?" Emily's heart felt like it was in her throat. There was more that she wanted to say, but it all felt understood at this point. And she wasn't sure that she'd actually be able to get it out anyway.
Alison nodded. She wasn't even upset that yet another proposal was derailed. This was worth it. Emily let go on the hand that she was holding briefly and slipped the ring onto her fourth finger. She lifted Alison's hand up and leaned in to kiss it, but the blonde leaned in and kissed her instead.
Emily giggled against her lips. She leaned back, "So you like the ring?"
"I love it," Alison smiled. "And I love you."
"I love you too." Emily told her softly. The sun was starting to go down now, and the sky was lit up with deep orange and yellow hues. She wanted to remember this moment forever.
"Do you still want your ring back?" Alison asked.
"Whenever you want to give it me," Emily told her. Though she'd told her the same a year ago, she cared less about the timing now. She got the assurance that she wanted.
"Well lucky for you…" Alison turned her body away from Emily and dipped her hand down her dress. She faced her again with a dimpled grin and held out the ring.
Emily blinked and snorted out a laugh. "Was that in your bra?"
"Maybe," Alison shrugged, still smiling hard.
Emily looked at the ring agin. "You were going to propose to me tonight?" She asked softly.
"I was going to propose to you every day this week, but it kept getting ruined." Alison told her. She tried to make her tone sound annoyed, but it didn't quite make it.
"So did I just ruin another proposal?" Emily asked.
"No," Alison shook her head. She leaned in and kissed Emily again. "You made it perfect," She whispered against her lips. There were a million more things that she had planned to say to Emily when she proposed. And she would. She had her whole life to still this woman what she was to her and her whole life to show her how much she meant to her.
After a moment, Emily leaned back. She stared at the ring again. She thought that she was the one with the big surprise tonight, but Alison had surprised her right back. She definitely hadn't been expecting it. "Just to be clear," she motioned to the ring. "That was in you bra… all week?"
"Well I moved it around a few times."
Emily tilted her head. She taken the other woman's clothes off almost every night and somehow she missed this. She raised her brows. Alison was good.
"So… do you still want to get married here?" Alison wondered. They had one day left in Paris after all.
Emily's heart started to race again. "Do you want that?" She asked.
"If you can still arrange it," Alison nodded. "I really do."
Emily bit her bottom lip as she felt herself smiling again. "I think I can make that happen." And she knew exactly where they could find wedding rings. She leaned in and kissed the blonde long and deep as the sun set behind them.
When they pulled away Alison slipped the ring onto Emily's finger, just as she had done years ago. The motion felt familiar, but it felt like the last time had been in another lifetime. It was almost seven years ago and so much had happened since then- for better and for worse. But through all of it they had made it. They had found their way back to one another. She'd always dreamed that they'd make it back someday. Now, they were here, and they weren't going to lose their way again.
—
A/N - I love writing for these two. Thank you so much for reading. Let me know what you think!
This won't the last fic you've read from me. Until then, take care!