A/N: this is a really long chapter for which I would really like feedback please (as always)
Chapter 76
Both Tegan and Kate were asleep for the next 4 hours. Lindsey watched Tegan's monitors like a hawk while trying to read a book. The numbers were fine for the first few hours but started veering towards the undesirable side where it stayed for the last half hour. Lindsey looked up when she heard a soft knock on the door that was half ajar. Sara's head popped around. "Hi!" she whispered and walked in. Her face changed when she saw the monitors her sister was connected to again. "I thought she left the hospital?" she said sarcastically. Lindsey shrugged. "Is she okay?" whispered Sara looking concerned. "I guess... she's been sleeping for the last 4 hours though" said Lindsey as she stepped out of the room with Sara. "Really? She does love sleeping and I guess it's good that she's resting? She looks pale though" said Sara. "I don't know... her vitals were perfect for the first few hours after she went to bed and then it just kinda... went a bit haywire... I don't know Sar... it's moving in the direction it shouldn't be" said Lindsey. "Where's Kate?" said Sara sounding concerned. "She's still sleeping. She was a wreck earlier so I just left her. She needs the rest" said Lindsey. Lindsey heard a soft moan from inside the room and rushed inside. Tegan seemed to be waking up. "Hey sweetie... how are you feeling my love?" said Lindsey and stroke Tegan's hair. Tegan just looked up at Lindsey, pulled the covers to under her chin and closed her eyes. "Tegan... baby?" said Lindsey. She looked up at the monitors. Tegan's heart rate was higher than normal and her BP was lower than it had been all that day. Not near the critical level yet but Lindsey didn't like it. Tegan opened her eyes again and let out a small whimper. "Hey... are you okay sweetie?" said Lindsey. "Ugghhh... I don't feel well" whispered Tegan. "I need... um... the toilet... I.. uh" said Tegan sounding confused. "Okay baby just let me unplug some of these things" said Lindsey starting to unplug the monitors like Kate showed her. Sara stood a few feet away in silence "Oh hey Sar" said Tegan groggily. She sat up and closed her eyes.
Tegan sat upright trying to get rid of the wave of nausea and dizziness that hit her. She really needed to wee though so she threw her legs over the edge of the bed. She sat like that for a few seconds and then tried to get up. Her legs felt like jelly and she felt dead tired. "I'm... I'm going to need... some help boo" she said softly to Lindsey. She couldn't understand how she could feel perfectly fine this morning and feel like she was hit by a freight train now. "Let me help" said Sara sounding anxious. "I've got her Sara" said Lindsey. Sara felt her anxiety levels rise. She hated seeing Tegan weak and vulnerable.
Tegan gladly held onto Lindsey's shoulder for support as she led her to the bathroom with one arm around her waist and another holding the IV bags in the air. Sara looked at her sister's pale, skinny legs, Tegan's weight loss was still quite noticeable although she had picked up quite a bit of weight over the last few weeks. Lindsey gingerly helped Tegan sit down on the toilet. Tegan looked as if she would fall asleep again any second as she sat swaying back and forth slightly with her eyes closed. Lindsey could hear that she was done weeing but she remained in the same position with her eyes closed. "Tegan... are you done? Sweetie?" said Lindsey and lifted Tegan's chin with her hand. "Yeah" whispered Tegan and finished. "Come on let's get you back to bed" said Lindsey and gently put her arms under Tegan's and pulled her up. Tegan held onto the wall for support with her eyes closed as Lindsey pulled her pants up. At least there was no awkwardness or shyness between them after all these years. "Thank you... for taking care of me" whispered Tegan. "Sara, I think you should wake Kate up... I don't like this" said Lindsey as she led Tegan back to the bed. She could feel Tegan put a lot of weight on her and it scared her.
Sara knocked on Kate's door softly and then turned the handle. Kate was curled into the foetal position holding a pillow. She didn't have anything covering her and had goose bumps over her arms. "Kate... Kate wake up" said Sara shaking Kate's shoulder. Kate took a large gulp of air as her eyes flew open. She immediately sat up. "Sara? What's wrong" she said. "Maybe nothing... but we need you to come check on Tegan please" said Sara concerned. Kate jumped out of bed and stormed into Tegan's room – her eyes were puffy and her hair standing in all directions. She rubbed her eyes and tried to focus. "Hey Tee... what's up... how are you feeling" she said with her hand on a sleepy Tegan's shoulder. "Kate..." said Tegan and closed her eyes. "That's my name... Hey Tegan come on buddy talk to me" said Kate trying to play it cool but a bit of panic crept through her voice. Lindsey just finished re-attaching all the monitors and Kate's eyes flew up. Tegan's BP was suddenly super low and her pulse even higher. "When did this start?" said Kate as she listened to Tegan's chest with her stethoscope. "I don't know... 45 minutes ago maybe... everything was fine before that. And then just in the last 2 or 3 minutes her BP dropped like a rock and her pulse sky-rocketed" said Lindsey alarmed. Kate injected 2 vials of some sort of meds into Tegan's IV line and swiftly replaced the virtually empty IV bags.
Sara stood at the end of the bed looking worried. She had her arm crossed over her middle and her other hand in a fist in front of her mouth. "Tegan... Talk to me... how are you feeling?" said Kate. Tegan opened her eyes and looked at Kate. "Tired... I'm so tired" she said softly. "Anything hurt?" asked Kate. "No... just... weak... and nauseous... dizzy" said Tegan. "Oh my poor baby" cooed Lindsey. Kate double checked her BP, temperature and blood sugar. Tegan seemed to be nodding off again. "Tegan... can you spell your name for me" said Kate trying to ascertain her mental status. She opened her eye lids and shone a light into her pupils. Tegan grunted. "No... Just let me sleep please" she said softly. "Soon Tegan just spell your name for me first" said Kate looking up at the monitor. "T... E... uhm... TE... E...G... yes...TEG.. A.. TE... A... fuck..." Tegan struggled with the simple task of spelling her name. "Okay just relax for me... that's just fine" said Kate. "Is she okay Kate... should we get her back to the hospital?" said Lindsey looking petrified. "No... just give it a few minutes... the drugs I just gave her should push that BP right up." said Kate calmly. "She... this... this doesn't look good" said Sara. "She's okay Sara" said Kate. "She looks far from okay!" said Sara loudly with her hand in the air. Tegan opened her eyes and looked at Sara. "Take it easy Sar! I'm starting to feel better... I'm okay" she said.
Kate got up and led Sara out of the room by the elbow and closed the door. Sara yanked her arm away as soon as they got to the living room. "You should have kept her in the hospital shouldn't you... I can't believe this... you should... she ... she... this was irresponsible..." said Sara sounding livid. "Why did you... you said she's fine... you..." screamed Sara and shoved Kate as anger overcame her. Kate stumbled backward, stepped forward again and grabbed both of Sara's shoulders. "Sara! Calm down!" she said loudly looking into her eyes. "Don't you fucking tell me to calm down" said Sara and started slapping Kate's chest with both her hands, tears were already flowing. "Sara, She's okay I promise!" said Kate calmly while allowing Sara to continue hitting her until she slowed down and stepped away. "This little complication isn't exactly unexpected. It's nothing the right meds and some rest won't take care of. She's fine here at home. Calm down or you're not going back in there. I don't want you upsetting Tegan... Sara... I need you to trust me right now" said Kate. Sara looked away and closed her eyes. "Then what... what's going on with her?" said Sara stifling a sob. "Calm down... Come inside and I'll explain" said Kate.
Kate looked at Tegan's monitors. Her BP was doing significantly better and her pulse was back down to 80. "That's better!" smiled Kate. She sat down on the side of the bed. Tegan opened her eyes. "How are you feeling Kate... your headache any better?" asked Tegan. Kate smiled, "Typical Tegan... always worried about everybody else first. Yeah... my headache is significantly better thanks. It's gone from excruciating to very faint." said Kate. Tegan smiled, seemingly already feeling a bit better. "Can you try and spell your name for me again Tegan" said Kate. "Yes... W...T...F..." said Tegan and started laughing weakly. Sara joined, they obviously shared the same sense of humour. Lindsey shook her head. Kate lifted her eyebrows. "Oh okay okay... T.E.G.A.N" said Tegan matter of factly. "Good... so you can spell after all!" winked Kate. "I guess you're wondering... W.T.F... is going on right now" said Kate. "I felt great this morning and then woke up feeling like crap... I feel a bit better now but I still feel so damn tired, like I have a flat battery" said Tegan. "This kind of thing sometimes happen when a patient had a significant improvement suddenly after a significant crash. Case in point, yesterday afternoon and evening. You were basically operating on a lot of extra adrenaline for a while there... but then you got to a point of adrenal exhaustion... you ran out of the stuff, flat battery as you said. Sometimes, not always though, but especially when your body's already weak and in recovery mode, your body will just crash after putting up a fight like that, it just exhausted its recourses for lack of a better explanation. Your BP dropped suddenly and that caused your pulse to be high and weak, your heart basically tried to maintain adequate circulation by beating really fast. You got dizzy because blood was sent to your heart and lungs and less to your brain. Hence your spelling difficulties. All trying to make up for the low BP" said Kate. "Is she okay now?" said Lindsey with her hand in Tegan's hair. "Yep, she'll be fine. You're going to feel pretty crappy for a while longer I'm afraid. I'm going to keep you on IV vascular support, some adrenaline and dopamine for a while and you need to just keep resting" said Kate. "No problem... I'm pooped" said Tegan sleepily. "Your systems are just re-adjusting themselves, trying to find middle ground. Just hang in there. I've got you." smiled Kate. "Thank you... Kate... I'm sorry I was shitty to you this morning" said Tegan pulling the covers up to her chin. "What?... I was a lunatic this morning... I'm the one that should be apologising" said Kate looking down. "Everything cool now?" asked Tegan. "Yeah... everything's cool. You get some sleep, I'm going to hang out here for a while to keep an eye on your vitals" said Kate. "And I'm getting a nurse in for the night to help me monitor you... no negotiations please" said Kate.
Lindsey felt Tegan give a shiver "Are you cold boo?" she asked. "Yeah... really cold... please may I have some tea?" asked Tegan sweetly. "I'll do it" said Sara coldly still looking a bit annoyed. She didn't like any of this one bit. She wasn't convinced that Tegan was okay out of the hospital. She stood in the kitchen, deep in thought waiting for the kettle to boil when Kate entered the room. "Tee and her Tea" said Kate with a smile. Sara just snickered and took the tea out of the cupboard. "Sara... are we okay?" asked Kate. "We're okay if Tegan's okay... Kate... please... I'm putting all my trust in you... Please... She can't go through this again... Please just make sure she's okay... It's killing me seeing her have setbacks... she's working so fucking hard... she... she..." said Sara becoming emotional again. Kate pulled Sara into a hug. "Right now there's nothing more important to me than Tegan's health. I'm not going to drop the ball now Sara. She's okay... I promise you. Please trust me." said Kate. "I do trust you Kate... God knows you've earned it. Tegan just... she looked really sick earlier... and you... something seemed off... " said Sara. "She's going to be just fine Sara... just fine" whispered Kate.
Sara pulled out of the hug and looked Kate in the eyes. "Are you okay Kate?" she asked. Kate knew she was a bad liar so she didn't try. She sighed and looked down. "I'm fine now Sara... I just had a really rough night and morning and then..." she said and looked out of the window. "You have a rough night every night Kate... it never gets to you like this time?" said Sara. Kate sat down on a high chair. "I think a dam wall just broke... I don't know... I lost a patient... I know... losing patients is part of what I do every day... a shitty part but none the less..." Sara frowned. "I'm... I'm really sorry Kate" she said softly. "I didn't see it coming... um... but there was nothing we could do... She was only 19... She was in a car accident... Drunk driver hit their car... came in after a Springsteen concert. She was conscious and we talked about music... She told me that you guys were her favourite band and..." Kate sighed trying to compose herself. "Oh God... that's... so tragic. Senseless..." said Sara sounding spooked, her eyes started tearing up. "I said I'd introduce you guys... she told me to tell you that you rock and that she can't wait for you guys to start singing again. I operated on her for 5 hours... She was fine... She was stable... She was doing well... and then... just like that..." Kate stared out in front of her with slumped shoulders and snapped her fingers, "I tried... I really fought Sar... I tried to get her back... we tried for 35 minutes but we couldn't...we just couldn't save her." said Kate in tears. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands. "And it dawned on me once again... none of this is in our hands..." she said. "We try our best... we fight... but sometimes..." she sighed. "Oh Katy... I can't imagine how..." Sara trailed off. "I'm sorry I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear" said Kate. Sara hugged her tight. "No... I'm sorry Kate... and I'm sorry for being such a dick" said Sara. "Don't ever think that you don't make a difference... without you Tegan wouldn't be here... It may not be completely in your hands but you're the tool... The guitar to the musician you know... You do incredible work every day and I'm so proud of you and I have so much respect for you. Seriously... I'm in awe of you. You're the strongest, most amazing person I know" said Sara softly and looked up at Kate eyes where she stood with her head bowed and her arms hanging next to her sides. Kate lifted her head and looked Sara in the eye. Sara felt a sudden palpable spark between them and it gave her a slight head rush. Standing with faces 10 inches apart Sara took two of Kate's fingers in hers. "Thank you Sara... I needed that" whispered Kate. "Hang in there" said Sara softly as their faces moved closer together. Sara noticed Kate's green irises fill with black as her pupils dilated invitingly. "How's the tea coming along" said Lindsey as she rounded the corner. Sara and Kate both took a step back and broke contact. "Almost done... sorry for the delay" said Sara and started making the tea. "She's starting to feel so much better after the meds but I think she still just wants to sleep. It's like a hangover or something. Hero hangover..." smiled Lindsey as she started walking back to the room. Kate caught Sara's eye and she gave her a brief smile and cleared her throat "I'm... just going to check on Tee again" she mumbled and Sara could see her cheeks flushing. What the fuck was that!? Thought Sara to herself finishing the tea trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.
A/N: :o Review please!