Soda sat on the bathroom floor at home. He had his knees propped up with his face buried in his arms. "Why didn't it just go away?" he asked as he banged his head back against the wall.

Throughout the day at work Soda was having the feeling of arousal. He knew exactly how that felt. He couldn't understand why it happened or why it wouldn't go away. It made his throat tight, his heart race, and also his stomach jump with joy. And just from hearing that Evie wasn't coming back into the picture? Steve's hug brought it on and it got worse throughout the day. Deep down he felt like he needed more of Steve and his warmth.

That bare chest against me...

"No! Stop!"

All day he avoided Steve from that. What if he had noticed Soda was acting like he would towards Sandy? That would have brought questions that even Soda didn't know how to answer. He didn't even wait for Steve to drive him home after work. The feeling became too strong, and Soda hurried away and walked home before Steve could ask anything. Soda hoped the walk would help, but it really didn't. The fact that he avoided driving home with Steve only made him yearn for more time together.

Visions poured into Soda's mind while on the bathroom floor. These visions made him feel rather good inside, and was causing the arousal to try to return.

"No!" Soda screamed at himself, "Stop thinking about him like that!" Suddenly Soda couldn't take it anymore. He was desperate to make this growing bulge in his pants go away. As badly as he wanted to shove his hands inside his jeans...or have Steve's hands...

"No! Stop it Soda! Damnit stop!"

Soda quickly got out of the bathroom and went into his room. He slammed himself onto his bed and laid there for a minute. "Sleep. That's what I need is to just sleep. I've gotten no sleep. That's the problem. That's all." The beginning was a struggle, filled with tosses and turns, but Soda eventually stressed himself into a deep sleep.

Soda didn't awake until the very next morning, which surprised him. It certainly didn't feel like he had slept so long. He reached his hand behind him, but all he felt were sheets and a pillow. 'Ponyboy must already be up,' he thought, 'God what time is it?' Soda spread out his arms and legs, and stretched out his body. He did feel much better from yesterday with that ugly episode and threatening thoughts.

After a moment of waking himself up, Soda sat up and glanced around his room. He was shocked and nearly fell out of his bed when he saw Steve leaning against the doorway. Steve walked further into the room and shut the door behind him, "It's about time you woke up."

Soda was having mixed feelings at the random show up. He shouldn't be though. When did Steve ever ask to come over? He didn't know what Steve was doing here or what he wanted though. Did he find out what Soda was thinking about all day yesterday? How could he explain that to his best friend?

Soda backed up on the bed as Steve sat at the end of it. "Steve...I..." Soda could have kicked himself for starting the conversation like that. He was making it too obvious that something was off. Before Soda could even mutter anything else, Steve grabbed the back of Soda's head, pulled him forward and Soda felt Steve's lips slam against his. As much as Soda wanted to keep going, he pulled away and caught his breath before asking, "What...what are you doing Steve?"

"You can't hide your feelings from me," Steve said as he pushed Soda down onto the bed.

Soda's eyes flew open then. He was laying in bed alone. His chest felt like something heavy was weighing against it. He felt tears sting in his eyes. Looking at the clock, it was 6:00 in the evening. He had only slept for a couple hours. Soda couldn't believe that had only been a dream. He didn't feel it was a bad dream, or even a disturbing dream. He got rather excited as it replayed in his head.

Soda remained in his bed until 6:30, waiting patiently for Steve to barge in and embrace him, like in his dream. For some reason, he felt that it could happen. Why else would he dream about it? When Steve didn't show up though, Soda felt stupid for actually believing that could happen. He knew then that he'd have to just let his imagination run the relationship he clearly wanted. In reality, he'd have to move on and find someone else. Another girl. That shouldn't be too hard, right?

At that moment, Soda decided to take matters into his own hands, literally. His dream wasn't about to leave his mind and that only made him frustrated. Soda laid back down and pulled the covers over himself. Slowly, Soda reached his hand inside his jeans. He pressed his hand down on top of his boxers and realized how nice that felt. He hadn't done this in quite awhile. He was convincing himself that sometimes you just had to do it to blow off some stress, not for any actual feelings. Images from his dream came to his mind like fire. His hand slid inside his boxers and his fingers slid down his erect manhood. Then he began to play around and rub more. It started to feel really good as more of his dream flashed in his mind, and what could have happened if the dream continued. If Steve...

The bedroom door began to open and Soda laid perfectly still. "Hey it's time for dinner," Pony called through the crack he had opened. Soda heard him walk away and go back downstairs. He let out a breath and felt his heart race from the panic.

Soda recovered himself fast, which wasn't too difficult do, and got out of bed. He got himself out of the mindset, and put himself in his happy-go-lucky mood before heading downstairs. He remembered he'd be seeing Steve at the drag races that night, so he had that to look forward to. If he kept remembering that this feeling he longed to have with Steve would have to remain in the imaginary world, he could avoid feeling any arousal feelings around him. He just had to have control of any situation. He'd have to be ahead of the game until his life got back to normal.

Making his way into the kitchen, Soda froze in his steps as he saw Steve eating dinner at the table with his brothers. The realization came into his head that he had just been touching himself to the guy who was just a floor below him. And that guy had no idea.

"Hey bro," Darry said watching Soda's face go white, "Are you feeling alright? I saw you taking a nap and now you don't look so hot."

"Um," Soda began sitting down while unable to look away from Steve, "Yeah, I'm okay. Just got up too fast."

"Thanks for the free food," Steve smirked towards Darry.

"Anytime," Darry replied, "I always make extra."

"Smart guy," Steve said. Soda couldn't bring himself to get in any of the conversations. Steve kept glancing at Soda. He could tell Steve wanted to ask what was wrong, and why he left work without a word. Soda being silent wasn't going to help Steve forget about the concern either.

There was one thing he wanted to say, he wanted to scream it, but couldn't. He wanted to turn to Steve and tell him, but nothing came out of his mouth. Just one thing.

After dinner, Soda went out to the backyard. Like clockwork, Steve was right behind him, pulling out a cigarette.

"Can I have one?" Soda asked, without looking up at his best friend.

Steve handed over a cigarette and lit his own up. "Is something wrong?"

"Why do you ask?" Soda asked.

"You left work without a ride. You don't look like you feel that great," Steve said, "Did bringing Evie up upset you that much?"

Soda's head lit up at the question. That was his chance. There was the excuse he could use to avoid any suspicion. "I mean," Soda shrugged, "Maybe a little more than I thought it would. I didn't feel like it did, but maybe deep down it is. She said some hurtful things about me."

"I know she did," Steve sighed, "Don't worry. I'm not taking her back, nothing is going to happen. She messed up, and now she has to live with that."

"I know. I'll be okay," Soda said taking a deep inhale of his cigarette.

"Do you still want to go to the drag race tonight?" Steve asked. Soda thought for a moment. He wanted to spend time with Steve. He had to get used to being around Steve and pushing the feelings to the back burner and ignoring them forever.

"Yeah, I'll go. I still need to get out and just go enjoy myself," Soda answered.

Steve and Soda got ready to leave. Soda was able to get himself relaxed and just excited to go watch some racing. He wasn't sure if he'd try to race yet. Just being out with other greasers was going to be relieving though. It was the perfect way to put the feelings aside until he could have private time, until he could escape with imagination.

"Do you think the Socs are going to show up?" Soda asked as they got in Steve's car and headed out.

Steve shrugged, "Probably. That's fine. I'm ready for them. When was the last time they beat me in a race?"

"Well, you got that advantage." Soda's questioned was soon answered when Steve pulled up to the field where the track was. There were very nice cars parked there, and that said it all.

"Well that sure didn't take long," Steve commented. He put his car in park and removed the key. The two greasers exited the car and walked towards the track. Tim Sheppard and his gang were getting up close to a gang of Socs. Steve could hear them placing bets on each other. "So who am I racing against?" Steve smiled as they approached the group.

"See? Told you he was coming," Tim smirked towards a Soc, "Ready to put your money where your mouth is?"

Soda got himself a spot next to the track to watch. He knew he wasn't going to race now. He didn't have the energy to race for bets or for what could lead to a fight. Watching the excitement would be enough for him to enjoy anyway. He felt happy just watching his best friend having fun.

Some of Tim Sheppard's gang raced, Tim raced, and Steve raced. Soda just watched and got loud with other greasers. This was the kind of night Soda needed. Not stressful like a date.

"Hey Soda!"

Soda turned and saw Two-Bit walking up to him. "Hey buddy," Soda greeted, "You showed up huh?"

"I heard there was some action going on down here. Thought I'd come check it out. Who's racing?"

"Tim's finishing up. Steve will go again next."

"Again? How many times has he raced?"

"Twice so far," Soda smiled, "I'm having fun watching him though."

"We haven't seen you here lately," Two-Bit commented, "Getting sick of them girls huh?"

Soda gulped at the comment. "Wh-Why do you ask that? What do you mean?"

"Just sick of dealing with them, with the dates? Eventually you got to break out of that," Two-Bit said.

"Oh yeah, yeah," Soda nodded. He could feel his face turning red from embarrassment. He turned away from Two-Bit to watch down the track.

"Oh boy is Tim pissed," Two-Bit chuckled, "He barely lost that one."

"Yeah, fights are going to happen quick I bet," Soda said. Two-Bit and Soda watched as Steve drove up to the starting spot. Another car pulled up next to him.

"Alright Steve let's show these Socs what we're made of," Two-Bit laughed, "Them assholes got nothing on us."

The race started. As the cars sped up, Soda noticed Tim and another Soc starting to get in each other's faces.

"This will probably be Steve's last one," Soda said, "They're going to go at it before the race ends."

"Want to join?" Two-Bit grinned.

Soda looked at Two-Bit and just shook his head, "I came out just to get some guy time, not get a shiner or bruised ribs."

"Throwing some fists is guy time," Two-Bit laughed.

"Have fun with that," Soda laughed, "Maybe next time." He looked back over and saw the Soc shove Tim. Turning back to the track, he watched as Steve won by a long shot. He felt excitement rise in him for his best friend. It had been a great night getting to watch Steve race again. Soda hadn't realized how much he missed it. When Steve got out of his car, he shot his fists up in the air and let out a screech. Soda hurried over and pulled Steve into a hug.

"You were awesome!" Soda yelled.

"Damn Socs didn't know shit," Steve laughed, "Uh Soda, you can let go now."

Soda quickly let his grasp go, nearly falling back. He didn't realize how tight he had been holding on. "Sorry."

Steve grinned, "You miss being here that much huh?"

Soda swallowed. He could feel his thoughts taking over again. He did miss these times with Steve. He missed them, but he wanted something new out of them too. "Yeah," Soda simply responded. Steve gave Soda a weird look, but before he could ask anything, they heard a scuffle begin.

"Oh here we go," Two-Bit said excitedly. They watched as a few Socs threw fists towards Tim and a couple of his gang members. Someone drew out a blade. "I'm staying to watch this go down. What about you guys?"

Soda looked over at Steve, letting him decide what they'd do for the rest of the night.

"Naw, I'm a little tired," Steve said, "Let's head back Soda."

"Okay. See you later Two-Bit."

"Bye guys!"

The two best friends got in the car, and began driving around everyone's scuffle. Soda watched as Two-Bit jumped around, cheering everyone on.

"He's crazy," Soda commented as the car got back on the main road.

"He sure is," Steve agreed.

Soda felt awkward as Steve didn't continue on the conversation. It was just silent. He could feel Steve thinking about something, as to him being so quiet. "You won all your races," Soda said trying to distract him.

"Yeah," Steve replied keeping his eyes on the road. Soda looked out his window, watching as they drove under each streetlight. He felt that he was trapped. Steve knew what was going through Soda's mind. He was going to be forced to talk about it, after he decided he was just going to ignore it. Steve pulled up to the Curtis house, but didn't turn the key. "What's going on with you?" Soda didn't answer. "You seemed yourself tonight, but then you didn't."

"What did I say?" Soda asked defensively.

"It wasn't anything you said," Steve said looking at Soda, "It was the way you looked at times. The way you looked at me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know Soda, you just...looked at me weird. I don't know what it was," Steve said, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm just fine," Soda furrowed his eyebrows as he got impatient, "I didn't look at you in any way."

Steve sighed, "Okay fine. Don't talk to me about what's on your mind."

"There's nothing to talk about!"

"If me talking to you about Evie and Sandy upset you so damn much..."

"It didn't!"

Steve turned and looked out his door window. He was getting frustrated, and Soda didn't want to drive it any further.

Rolling his eyes, Soda grabbed the door handle, "I'll see you tomorrow." Soda got out of the car and hurried inside. Pony and Darry had already gone to bed, so Soda took a seat on the couch alone. He was thankful he could be by himself. It was too much to handle as the tears flowed down. Steve confronting him was all Soda could take. Ignoring it wasn't going to work. He had to come to terms with what he was feeling. He had to come to terms with what he wanted. He knew what those feelings were and he knew why he had an episode of arousal. And he'd have to confront Steve about it.

"I want to be with you Steve," Soda finally said out loud.